This is the Truth Network. Coming to you from an entrenched barricade deep in the heart of central North Carolina, Masculine Journey After Hours, a time to go deeper and be more transparent on the topic covered on this week's broadcast.
So sit back and join us on this adventure. The Masculine Journey After Hours starts here, now. We've gone so deep in this particular episode of After Hours that we've dug up Sam who had the topic. That's going deep. He was really entrenched in that barricade.
He was entrenched. And so we dug all the way down and hit Sam. Wow. That brings me to a question. I'm guessing you just walked across the entrenched barricade because the only thing that's going to stop is gophers and voles and moles and things.
We got him anyway. But seriously, the show topic is on favorite memories of boot camp. And I think everybody sitting here would say that if you weren't impacted by what Sam's going to talk about, you didn't have a heart. And certainly. You know, one of the hugest uh highlights of my camp was what You know, your son brought.
So go ahead, Sam.
Well, thank you. You know, I'm proud, Dad, but it's more than that. You know, as you guys know, we're always been kind of protective of the men's time. At camp, and want to make sure we're presenting things that are really good. And Caleb came to me.
Oh, I don't know, six, eight months ago, and said, Dad, I really think that God's laying on my heart to do a radio show or a boot camp talk on anxiety. Because it's something he had had to face, and we had talked about it a lot as he was going through it, because ironically, I was going through it about the same time. You know, going through a lot of anxiety, not as much as he did after learning more. And so he said, Hey, I want to do this talk at boot camp. And normally, you know, in me I would have been worried.
And God just said, don't be worried. Ask him what clips he wants to use, helping put together his schedule for the stuff up there. I didn't even read his talk, didn't ask to read his talk. I just thought, okay, God, you got him, and I'm going to let it go. And he got up there, and honestly, I know I'm biased, but he did such an amazing job.
And he really learned so much from the boot camps he's attended. He knew the format, he knew how to bring in different things to make points, as well as scripture, and really spoke from his past and his heart. And it really just meant the world to me, and I learned something I've been using since then, and that's the clip that we have. I don't know where it comes from. It's from a a study, and he didn't know where it came from.
On brain pathways, on how you think. And so go ahead and play that, and then we'll talk about a little bit more. Not so long ago, many scientists believed that the brain did not change after childhood. that it was hardwired and fixed by the time we became adults. But recent advances in only the last decade now tell us that this is simply not true.
The brain can and does change throughout our lives. It is adaptable, like plastic. Hence neuroscientists call this neuroplasticity. How does neuroplasticity work? If you think of your brain as a dynamic, connected power grid, There are billions of pathways or roads lighting up every time you think.
feel or do something.
Some of these roads are well travelled. These are our habits, our established ways of thinking, feeling and doing. Every time we think in a certain way, practice a particular task or feel a specific emotion, we strengthen this road. It becomes easier for our brains to travel this pathway. Say we think about something differently.
Learn a new task or choose a different emotion. We start carving out a new road. If we keep traveling that road, our brains begin to use this pathway more and this new way of thinking, feeling or doing becomes second nature. The old pathway gets used less and less and weakens. This process of rewiring your brain by forming new connections and weakening old ones is neuroplasticity in action.
The good news is that we all have the ability to learn and change by rewiring our brains. Mm. If you have ever changed a bad habit or thought about something differently, you have carved a new pathway in your brain and experienced neuroplasticity firsthand. With repeated and directed attention towards your desired change, you can rewire your brain. Yeah.
Yeah, it It's still beeping at me. It's going to quit. I was like, is there more? I don't think so. I think that's it.
That, you know, as I thought more about that, when he did that and he played the video, and the video is more impactful than the audio, but as he played it, I really thought.
Well it is true. You know, when I get in a place where I have stinkin' thinking going, I'm just a miserable person to be around. You know, I'm grumpy, I'm short with people, you know, a little bit more angry, that kind of thing. And I can get myself there if I focus on things that are negative. And the more that I focus on those, the more I'm apt to become short-tempered, those kinds of things.
And if just by doing things differently, thinking of things differently, you can change your outlook. But it's also true with sin, right? That once you start thinking about, you have a lustful thought. Right, and then you don't do much with that, you don't break it, and you have another one and you just don't break it, and you just keep going, and then all of a sudden you feel a struggle to to battle with pornography again. Right, and you wonder where did that come from?
It's because you created a pathway again, you gave it. You gave it fuel. Right? And so it was just such an impactful thing for me that I've just been making sure I've been practicing it since boot camp. And not to mention I was so proud of Caleb, too.
He did knock it out of the park, and I'm not that biased because I didn't even recognize it. And he set it up that video because that's a scientific thing. But he said, beginning, he said, there's scripture that backs it up. And I was like, I wonder if he's going to go to Romans 12, too. And sure enough, he did to be transformed by the renewing of your mind.
That's what happens in that. Those new pathways being built.
So it was really cool. A lot of the scripture feels so much different. Make every thought captive. Yes, yeah. Right?
And just, it's been something I've really focused on, especially as stress has been over the last few weeks coming back from boot camp. I've been really trying hard not to let that get me down. And not get to a bad place to maybe where I'm short with Misty, my fiancé, or whatever. You know, I'm just really trying not to go there. Even though you've had a tough week, right?
Yes, a tough couple weeks. Yeah, and it's a beautiful thing to see. How God's raising up the next generation. Yeah. Right?
And that You know, it's one of the promises God made to you, Darren, is that this goes on. Right, there is a next level. Yeah, and um Uh Seeing Caleb do that. My son, who has done a couple of talks at our boot camps and has led worship and is a, you know. church planner and Just an all-around cool dude.
Um It's so much fun to watch Your son preach or teach or lead others and It's one of the greatest experiences that I've had personally, but I could feel that for Sam the entire time that he was talking, when Caleb was talking, and I could feel it for Caleb, too. I mean, it was. Caleb and I aren't as close as we once were just by sheer time but I was extremely proud of his authenticity, his vulnerability, his strength. His knowledge of scripture and studying this stuff out for himself and and being passionate about sharing it with others. And so when you see that, I do remember.
you know Asking God early on, How will I know? Whether I've succeeded or not in starting this ministry, and that was basically the thing that he gave me was. when you don't need to be there. when other people are doing it. That's hard.
It is hard. But it's so rich too. Oh, absolutely. Grant, Sam. I just want to say one thing that was kind of cool for me is when Caleb got his new name.
Years ago it was Fisher of Men. And so to be able to talk to him after about, you know, you just took that to a different level. you're just fishing for men a different way. You've always done it in smaller groups.
Now God's calling you to branch out and do it sometimes with larger groups. It was kind of cool just to kind of share that moment with him as well. And the way he did it. I'm sure it took a lot of people by huge surprise because. He did what Paul said.
He boasted in his weaknesses and he confessed things. That not many people his age would be willing to do, and I can't think of another one actually, that would be willing to stand up in front of a bunch of church folk like we are and share some of the. you know, failures, honestly, that he had struggled through that led to the anxiety that he was describing. But as He did that. We can relate to a broken Caleb.
We couldn't relate to the perfect Caleb, right? And so. You know, any, you know, from my stand, true fisherman has got the bait of. Yeah. of real brokenness.
And I thought he was That was, and not to mention that it also told me. And I'm sure it told everybody else here that He was not a prisoner. He was not a slave to his shame. In other words, if you're willing to tell all the world that this is what I struggle with, you're no longer under that bondage, you know, basis based on the passage in James that says confess your sins one to another.
Well, if you can do that, you obviously have taken one leg up on shame. And he did an amazing job. Not that we knew that he was hiding behind a fig leaf, but he set it on fire. There is no form of a fig leaf after he got done. He was very transparent.
That's kind of a painful visual. One of the things, I stepped into the back as Caleb was finishing his talk, and Sam's sitting there, and he's in tears, and I'm in tears. And I just, you know, kind of gave him a fist bump and And It was a really cool moment. And Sam then shared what he just shared too, that I did not know how bad things had gotten. And that's the only regret I have.
And I said, yeah, but That can't be the regret, because you raised a boy. Because of this message, because of this group of guys, you and Heidi raised a boy. That was strong enough and capable enough of overcoming that with the strength of Christ. But he knew where to go. He knew how to get there.
And he did it. And he's still doing it. And he's going to lead others.
So that was, to me, that was like watching. Caleb hit a home run and Sam hit a home run in the same game. Yeah, it was bigger than that. Absolutely beautiful. There's no question that he had.
two fathers that loved him and are growing him faster than I ever did. Yeah, it's it's it's quite obvious. But you know, very cool along those lines is your clip, actually, um Darren, because it's it's it's When you think about it, it's the picture. Yeah, and I the clip that I chose is from Sea Biscuit and it's kinda early in the movie and I remember Robby making a comment with just a group of us together in the back after you know, pretty late in the boot camp and and you You quoted. kind of the the latter half of this That comes in the movie, which is a true story from Sea Biscuit, but This is early on.
Um And you're going to meet two characters. One is a very wealthy man who is going to end up buying sea biscuit and racing him. But he also is just meeting the man that will be the trainer. But. The posture of the man who's going to be the trainer.
is not the posture of a confident trainer at the time. And he's caring for horses. and somebody calls him a crackpot. And you just figure out how much of a crackpot he is and how wise he is because he knows that there's nothing that's not worth. investing something in.
Uh What's that? Oh, he's a crackpot. Lives along the bushes. What's he do? I don't know.
He used to be a trainer, farrier.
Now he just looks after that horse. Howdy. Charles Howard. Tom Smith. Nice to meet you, Tom.
What's uh What's in his bandage? Oh, that's hawthorn root. It increases circulation. Will he get better? Already is.
Will he race? No, not that one.
So why are you fixing it? Cause I can. Every horse is good for something. He could be a cart horse or a lead pony. He's still nice to look at.
You know. You don't throw a whole life away just 'cause he Banged up a little. You don't throw a whole life away just because he's banged up a little. The sad part about most men's lives Is that they're ready to throw their own life away. because they're a little banged up.
And so going to a boot camp and watching Guys like Mike that came down from Ohio, and guys like Bill, and guys like Corey, and other people begin to dig in and get it. and see, Oh, this is what it's about. It's that No point in throwing a life away just because you're a little banged up. and so here's another group of guys who are just as banged up. But our walking towards healing together, not separately, not loners, as Bill mentioned earlier.
But together and That's the glory of a boot camp to me. That's the biggest part of the boot camp for me is just the bond that we share as a team. Honestly. Right. And that bond, the the fascinating thing is Camp illustrated it more than any that I remember I think the staff may have been, you know, like one and a half to one camper.
Like we had and again, it depends on what you want to call staff. But the point of it is, is that You know, most of the people been going have been to not just one or two boot camps, I mean like dozens. And because of that, Uh this clip Led up to the end of the movie where they all get together. You got this broken down trainer, you got a broken down jockey because he's half blind, and then you got all these other shenanigans in the midst of it, and they're all broken people. But because they come together as a team at the end, it says, you know, we fixed each other real good.
And that was what I actually quoted at boot camp because. We were all and and that's what I've always loved about boot camp is there is no hierarchy. Like These guys are the leaders, and these guys are the learners, or you know, no, no, no. I mean, hopefully, we all are. See that we need a Savior just as bad as anybody else in the audience.
And we need the covenant of silence as bad as anybody else in the audience. And those who worked in the kitchen with me. You know, they got the picture that, hey, Robby's far from perfect. Part of the funnest thing that I did at boot camp was experience watching the kitchen Nazi and knowing that I didn't worry about it. And then helping the kitchen Nazi lose my eyebrows, you know, trying to cook steak on a 9 million degree grill.
So, yeah, that was one of my favorite memories, actually. As well, which brings me to another crazy kind of thing that one of the things that touched me, and I've actually used on Caleb's talk. Um many times In talking to members of my church, or even my wife and my family. Yeah. He talked about how there are things in your mind that record things that you weren't even conscious were being recorded.
But And again, he'd named the part of your mind that does that, but that part of your mind is always awake, even though you may have been unconscious. And what he didn't know is my wife had a horrible car accident. She doesn't remember any part of the accident, but now she's so afraid to drive that, like, you know, she's. Gripping the the seat and all those, although she rolled over the car several times. She can't tell you one moment of it.
But all that stuff is stored, it's trauma. And as those traumas of your life are stored, they trigger things. that you're not aware of. And so you're trying to act like you're trying to white knuckle, like take control of all this stuff. Like I can do it, you know?
But all this stuff is eating you alive. And the beautiful thing about boot camp is it's disruptive enough True. To hopefully shake you, which is God talks about, shake you into looking and and at how you really feel. I mean, how do you really feel? Are you really okay?
you know, answers that are not so easy to answer as you talked about. And so in this clip, it's from a movie Anger Management, which in itself is all about the main character getting shaken into the point that seeing that he's actually dealing with these things inside that have him all tore up that he doesn't even know he's dealing with, right? He's not awakened to that fact.
So he is all anxious to get to work in this picture. He's got eight minutes to get to work, and he's got Jack Nicholson, of all people, sitting in the master seat who's supposed to be showing him about anger management, right? And when he runs a red light and he's, you know. He's flustered. He goes, well, we can't have flustered.
And he pulls on the emergency brake. What I want you to picture in this scene is it's literally on the Brooklyn Bridge. Like you hear all the horns honking. Like you can imagine being stopped on the Brooklyn Bridge by this kook who is now telling you to sing. And then he chimes in.
And all of a sudden, you know, this all happens as only an Adam Sandler movie could.
Now what exactly was that all about, Dave? What? You just ran through a red light. Are you trying to get us both killed?
Well, I'm a little flustered right now. I have to be to work in eight minutes. Flustered? Hold on. Hello, man.
Oh, what are you doing? I need you to unfluster. We will proceed when you are centered. I'm centered. I'm centered.
I'm. What is that? Is that good? We're going to sing a song. No, I don't want to sing a song.
I want to go to. I feel pretty. Let's get this thing moving. What's your problem? Shut your pie hole.
We're working here. Bump, bump, bump. I feel pretty Yeah. Oh so pretty. I feel Pretty and witty.
And gay. And I pity Any girl who isn't me today la la la la la la la la la la la la I feel charming, oh so charming. It's alarming how charming I feel. And so pretty that I hardly can believe I'm real. La la la la la la la la la la la.
See that pretty girl in the mirror there? What mirror where? Who could that attractive girl be? Which one where home? Such a pretty bird.
Such a pretty song. Such a pretty ball. I feel stunning and entrancing and then Sing for joy, for I must. Of my increasing love. Yeah, they changed that last line to a boy instead of a girl, but nonetheless.
Mm-hmm. You have to think about it this a minute, but He took him clear out of his comfort zone. He was so far out of his comfort zone. If you're stuck on the Berkeley Bridge with Jack Nicholson standing next to you, you get the picture. Like you're not in your comfort zone at this point in time.
And And then you're asked to do something that touches your heart, which is sing. I mean, it's actually genius. It's genius because this song is going to touch his heart. And he literally is having fun on the Brooklyn Bridge, stuck with Jack Nicholson in the car. I mean, and it bec why.
Why? Because he's detached. From the stuff that was making him anxious. And his heart naturally, when you feel God, when your heart naturally, you know. It it just goes there.
Now Jesus explains all this in Luke. When he says And you may never have Thought about this passage that much. I never had in the past. He says: Foxes have holes and birds of the nest have air, but the Son of Man has no place to rest his head.
Well, the point of that is, is that foxes are never good guys in Scripture. They're bad guys. They eat the grapes, et cetera, et cetera. You know, Samson tied their tails together and went and burned up fields with them. They're not good guys, right?
They have a nice, comfortable place to rest.
So if you're hanging out with the foxes, what you got going there? Right? You're pretty sneaky, just saying. And birds of the air, not good. They pick the seeds up.
The birds are almost always not good characters in the scriptures.
So what he's saying is. If you're feeling really comfortable in your comfort zone, you're not where you need to be. You need to be on the Brooklyn Bridge stuck with Jack Nicholson singing I'm So Pretty, and you'll get the picture. Just say it. I'm going to ask Jesus about that specific reference when we get the opportunity.
Did you really mean this to be on the Brooklyn Bridge?
Well, what I mean by all this is that when we're at boot camp. I don't, I've never been to a boot camp that somehow or another I didn't get pulled out of my comfort zone. And shaken. By either A talk? that hit me between the eyes like You know, the first time I dug into my wound, and the next thing I knew, I had this horrible headache, and I got to deal with my own attempt at suicide, and all sorts of stuff had me shaken to the core.
Or Any number of covenants of silence where God asked me. to do something or be something or change something. And why? Because actually I'd gotten out of my comfort zone. Yeah.
And I had Pushed into a place that was uncomfortable. And you can't say that singing I'm So Pretty on the Brooklyn Bridge is not an uncomfortable place. The moral of this story is: come to a boot camp so you don't have to sing on the Brooklyn Bridge. And also, Foxes are ladies, too. What now, Grant?
Foxes are ladies, too. Yeah, Fox. Come in.
Now, I want to take you back out of your comfort zone because we're all laughing. Um In the Bible, the dove is a good guy. Can you possibly stop shooting us? No.
Okay. I knew that was going to be the response. That is good. That's a good point, Jim. And the dove is a is a good guy bird.
You're right. You're right. But good for fast and things like that, sacrificing tasty treats and stuff. Good for sacrificing, is what it's good for. Yeah, I would speak to that.
Hubbalt that was bull. Yeah. We we kinda had some of those uncomfortable times. You know, one morning you were trying to prepare a talk, and things just weren't working out right. Probably everybody in the room was getting on your last nerve.
And um I figured that out pretty quickly when you said, Yeah, I can't, you know, and I was like, Okay, I'm sorry. And then he proceeded to proceed into song. I'm so pretty. Yeah, exactly. But then later on that evening, I kind of had the same thing.
And we, but because we were all out of our comfort zone, we finally figured out what was really going on was that was a lot of the warfare that was happening. And it was. And, you know, we're hoping you get the picture that that um God is at boot camp. We would love for you to come join us. and follow the adventure, right?
And it's nothing like being there in person, like several of these guys found out, like Mike in Ohio found out. And again, you go to masculinejourney.org and get involved.
However, you want to do that. We would love to hear from you. We appreciate you so much, you calling. And we'll look forward to being down deep with you next week.
