Fathers

This is the Truth Network. The heart of every man craves a great adventure, but life doesn't usually feel that way. Jesus speaks of narrow gates and wide roads, but the masculine journey is filled with many twists and turns.

So, how do we keep from losing heart while trying to find the good way when life feels more like a losing battle than something worth dying for? Grab your gear and come on a quest with your band of brothers who will serve as the guides in what we call the masculine journey. The masculine journey starts here now. Welcome to Masculine Journey. We're glad you're with us today, and we are talking about a very timely subject.

I mean, we try to do that. What is it? I don't know. I haven't got there yet. I'm still trying to figure out what it's going to be.

It's timely. Yeah, sometimes we hit it right at the right time, and other times we miss the mark just a little bit. You know, we're behind the curve a little bit. Yeah, that's kind of how we are. You know, we're just a little slow sometimes, and we realize, oh.

Like all the time. Yeah, Mother's Day was last week. Maybe we should have talked about it. And so, no, we're talking about Father's Day, right? And so the question is, who's been instrumental as a father in your life?

And so I'm not talking about necessarily your birth father. It might have been, but maybe your experience with your birth father wasn't the best, right? And there's not a lot of good memories there. But I promise you that God has a promise for you that he will send people in your life along the way to father you. And sometimes we just don't have eyes to see it.

And sometimes we don't have eyes to see it, especially when they're in the middle of it. But you can really look back and say, God, oh, that's right. When I was in this space, someone spoke some words of truth into my life.

Someone gave me some encouragement when I needed it.

Someone helped me along the way. And that's times when God sent people to help father you. Or maybe the question is, how has our Heavenly Father fathered you? And so as we're thinking about Father's Day, I'm just inviting you to kind of open up the topic a little bit more. And if there is time to take and thank your earthly father, then absolutely do that.

But if it's other people, maybe reach out to them and let them know, hey, you made a big difference in my life. And so we're going to be talking about that today. And where I came up from, what's the topic is one, Father's Day is tomorrow.

So, you know, that makes it easy. Woo! We're on Father's Day Eve. Robby, we missed an Eve. True, yeah, we did.

Yeah, you gotta put the microphone up to you. We knew the guy once told me that. Yes, Father's Day Eve. Yeah, we were Father's Day Eve, and a lot of us are fathers. Yeah, a lot of us are.

We've got big gifts coming. I'm looking forward to it. Yeah, we've been called a lot worse. I look around the room, and I probably called most of you a lot worse. But anyway, no, as we're talking about it, I heard a comedian, and he's talking about the importance of Father's Day.

And this is a couple years old, and I don't know where he got his statistics, but he's talking about where Father's Day ranks in a yearly basis with the great holidays.

So, here, let's go ahead and listen to it. Father's Day is the worst holiday in the world. I've done the research. I already know. Let me tell you something.

Mother's Day Is the second most celebrated holiday in the world. Christmas is first.

So that means it's Jesus, then your mama. You know what fathers they fall at? Number 20. I can't think of 18 other holidays. Do you realize Halloween is number six.

Does that mean ghosts and goblins go before fathers? All the days. This is number 13. I don't even know what that is. I just know it come before me, that's crazy.

Columbus Day is number sixteen. Celebrating Columbus Day is like celebrating somebody finding money in your house. Where do you get that $50 from? I discovered it in your kitchen. Yeah.

Well, he goes on from there, but that's the best part of that clip. And I wish I could tell you who it was, but it was on a YouTube feed that didn't mention who it was. And so, you know, you're like, okay, I don't really know who this comedian is. It was like funny comedy bits or something like that. And so I couldn't really even give him credit.

But I appreciate him bringing it to attention because I think a lot of times fathers do get the little back. Handed, you know, compliment kind of thing. And honestly, for a lot of times, underwear for father's. Yeah, underwear, a tie, you know, socks.

Socks. You know, if you need underwear, ties into socks. It's a weird outfit. Maybe that's what you want to wear. But no.

Harold? Is that what you wear? Yeah.

Harold, you got anything you want to say? You're kind of looking at me. I don't know if you're mad at me or if you just want to say something to me. No, I'm not mad about anything. Oh, okay.

Okay.

Well, give us some time. The show's not over yet. We'll go back to the biting comment here in a minute and kind of go, oh, yeah, we go from there, those kind of things. But no, Well, I think sometimes People's feelings on Father's Day are definitely earned. When we live in a fatherless society, statistically, and it gets worse every generation that more and more houses have kids growing up without the father present at the house, but worse than that, not even present in their life.

Right, and so Father's Day often brings up feelings of hurt. you know, feelings of abandonment. Those kinds of things. But the thing that God promised you is He always has fathers in your life, as I said a little bit earlier. And so just opening up your thought to say, Okay, Heavenly Father, just take a minute and let me see some people that have fathered me along the way.

And maybe that is your earthly father. And I'll say it this way: maybe your earthly father taught you what you don't want to do. Right? And so that still taught you. He was still instrumental in your growth.

It wasn't pleasant. But you know, opening up your eyes to see that differently and say, Okay, God, I need some help here. You know, and let's take some time to celebrate some fathers. And so we have some clips coming up. But is there anything you guys would like to add?

Andy, do you remember the story from oh. What's his name from Wild at Heart, where he talks about the Father's Day cards? I know we used it a few times. Yeah, so Morgan. Morgan tells a story.

I think. I forgot the other author's name. But he tells a story about a nun. Who Had an inmate come. She was kind of helping out in the prison, and he came and he said.

Can you give me a Mother's Day card? And she did, and it was such a hit. Everybody in the prison wanted so much so that they couldn't even fulfill all the orders. They got free Mother's Day cards from Hallmark. And, you know, she was like, Okay, I'm going to get ahead of this for Father's Day.

You know, it's coming up. And she ordered a bunch of cards, thinking that there would be interest in them, and not one of those inmates. wanted a Father's Day card and it just shows the point is we are fatherless We're all fatherless. I think that's a point of overall talk. But that just shows the impact of fathers not being in lives is the kid spills out of control and you end up in prison or wherever because fathers are so important in our lives and in our society's tried to remove that, tried to negate the importance of a father in a child's life.

Oh, yeah. If you look at most sitcoms, the father's the idiot character. Yep. As much as I've enjoyed everybody loves Raymond, they make a career of making him look stupid. Yep.

And dad as well. The brother. Everybody has. But part of it, too, is men haven't stepped up and. walked in that role.

Yes, that they've been um it has been abused, the fathers, the idea of fatherhood. The devil wants nothing more than that. He wants to take the fathers out of families, out of out of kids' lives. But with that being said, Fathers always didn't learn how to be fathers. It they weren't fathered to be a father and therefore they're not a good father and they pull back and become passive and stuff.

So Yeah, and then there's a thing that we talk about quite often that part of the enemy's plan is if you don't have a really strong close relationship with God, the Heavenly Father, you will often put your perspective of your earthly Father on God. Right? If my dad was never available, I think God's never available. Right? He's got other things to do.

If he was very distant, I think God's cold and distant. And so until we develop that intimacy. If he's a strict disciplinarian, that's the way. Yeah, that's the way you see God. Yeah, it was really cool when um Solomon is talking about You know, in 1 Kings chapter 2, King David is.

Explaining to Solomon some of the stuff that he needs to do. And what he says in verse 2 is: he says, then it's just King David speaking. He says, I go the way of all the earth. Be thou strong, therefore, and show thyself. A man.

And the word man there is not the word Adam, which usually you would think of as man like mankind. This is Ish. And and that word in Hebrew is It starts off with an aleph, which is like the alpha. Like you get the picture, this needs to be a man, right? And this needs to be the person in charge.

This needs to be the head of the house. And that picture of that, the second letter is a yud, which is this idea of. This God spark, like something that's going to be the head of the house that illuminates things, in other words, which brings great wisdom. Father knows best. You know, think of the things that Solomon was taught by his father because of his wisdom.

And if you think about great fathers, you can't help but think that David must have been one of the greatest because who was credited as Jesus' father besides? Joseph, it was son of David, right? That that was pretty cool. The last letter is a shin, which is the first letter in the word peace. Shalom or in Shabbat, which is the The day that you rest, or you know, the Sabbath, the idea of that.

And so when you think of this. Alpha figure, this this this father head of the house, but underneath it is this peace, this sense of security that really makes a beautiful statement of what King David is telling the next king of Israel. Be a man. Be a man. And not a partial one or not an unbalanced one.

I mean, there's three letters that make that up, and all of them I can see as the attributes that we strive to talk. I mean, we talk about a lot in the boot camps.

Well, I'm glad you brought Shim to Clarity. I thought he was one of the three stooges. See, that's the whole problem. Yeah.

That's the way they've been done since Hollywood, you know? Yeah, exactly, yeah. It has. But, yeah, we're going to be going to break here in a couple of minutes. Anything you guys would like to add before we go to break?

Anything that's on your mind? I just think that when you start talking about God and following Him. Yeah.

There's only so far you can go and maneuver. You're not going to be perfect. You know, you have to be able to take things and stride a little bit of your own way. will. It's like I want to strive for something.

I'm not going to be perfect all the time. As long as you understand these things and you can take your own personal losses and go, okay, like for me now, I understand when I do things that are stupid. Right. I'm stupid. I admit it.

I go on. I thank God that He's going to save me and he's got other things for me, and I just apologize, and I just go on. I don't live in this, oh my gosh, where am I? How are things going to be? What's going to happen to me?

I just, I just move on. I don't. live in the failure of myself. Yeah, and if you want to, as good as David was, you know, David's called a man after God's own heart, right? But he was a horrible father at times.

Just go look up his story about Absalom and his son and what happened to his daughter and how he handled that whole scenario. He made some real mistakes. And so maybe you're a father out there going, man, I've just blown it with my kids. As long as God's involved, it's never too late. Lean into him and ask him, how can I in this season love on my kids?

Maybe it's a small step, but in either way, or maybe you have issues towards your father. Ask him, how can I love on my dad that is very unlovable? And kind of go from there. Go to masculinejourney.org to register for the upcoming boot camp November 20th through 23rd, masculinejourney.org. We'll talk with you after the break.

What we have at our boot camp is something that makes you stronger and gives you the strength to go on your journey. Regular walk with God. It's something that will make you be bigger than you were when you got there. The first one, I had no clue what I was walking into, and then realizing that other people are in the same boat and you know how open everybody was to share their struggle is a great group, and a lot of packing was actually done. It is a tight bond of men, everybody's the same.

And each and every time that I've come to food camp, I've learned something different. And not one man that's ever been there neglects not to take time out to talk or to share. It's serious business, and you need to come one time to break bread with the men and fellowship, feel the atmosphere, hear the people pray, and get down to earth about what's going on in life and get real. Register today at masculinejourney.org. Father's love, it doesn't shout.

It's felt in ways you don't talk about It's in the Right to school each day the look That says it'll be oh.

Okay.

Unseen but steady as the sky above That's a father's love. Welcome back to Masco and Journey. I would love to give credit to whoever that singer is, but two things happened. Once again, it was a YouTube clip where it didn't really say who it was, and then I accidentally deleted the email where I tried to find out who it was. And so, if you know who that is, please let us know.

But it's such a pretty song and sings obviously about the positive side of a father's love. And that's what we're focusing on: how God the Father has loved us, how earthly men have loved us and fathered us along the way, or our birth father may have done that. And so, we're talking more about that. Robby, you have the first clip.

Well, the first clip of this part of the show.

So, yeah. Very cool. Yeah.

This is from a movie called Men the Line, which is a neat setup that there's this war veteran who's got PTSD, and he's having all sorts of. You know, violent episodes involving hurting family and all this stuff, and he ends up going to a counselor, and this counselor wisely. wisely suggests fly fishing therapy. The wisdom of that is remarkable as I see it personally. Nonetheless, um.

Fascinatingly, the same counselor has been working with this other man that had PTSD for over 20 years. And he apparently at one point showed up in the kind of same condition and was taught to fish by other men. And so what we pick up this clip, he has been told that he's supposed to work with this new kid, and his friend is asking him who this kid is, and he goes on to explain. And interestingly, that friend kind of humbles him. if you think about the clip later on, that you'll oh, look, he first he got humbled to some extent, uh and then when he sees humility i in the young man, it's time to go fishing, I'll explain in a minute.

Now who's the kid? Ah, some V A sob story. Ah, then you two should get along great then. Dark wants me to teach him to fish.

Well, you should. Pay it forward.

Okay.

You sound like a greeting card. You know, 25 years ago from Iowa. Ohio. You couldn't cast worth a dick. And it wasn't for me and Bobby D., you'd still be fishing the Sagajawea Lagoon with the first graders.

for stockies. Listen, man, I'm really. Do you really want to fish? Yeah.

I do. What's this? Prince Nymph? What's it for? Imitating a mayfly larva underwater.

And this? Mayfly a merger. When bugs are shocking, their skins are coming to the surface. And Rusty Spinner. It looks like a fly after it's mated and falls to the water to die.

When do you fisher? Late night, right after dark. You know, Mayflies only live for one day. No, I didn't. Life short.

Okay.

Let's go. Wait, what? Why now? I've just learned the most important part of fly fishing. Humility.

Yeah, it's a amazing thing when you think about it is Um The fathering that's going on right there, right? You hear the father of the other man, essentially. And by the way, fishing for stockies, if you're a true trout fisherman versus native trout, it's a whole different world because the stockies come out hungry and they don't know a fly from anything else. But if you're going to really catch a native trout, you know, you've got to present the stuff right. And the beautiful thing about the clip for me is you can tell that the man has studied those flies, right?

As he's asking him what those are. And I can assure you, I've flied fish in Colorado for over 20 years, I mean, almost my life. Probably 40 years. I was going to say 20 years is not most of your life. Statistically, 50 years.

Maybe 60 years. Probably 60. Nonetheless, I don't know what those flies are that he described or how to fish them.

So I thought it fascinating. But then you hear him ask him about, and the only answer I knew was I knew that a mayfly only lasts a day. I did know that. It would have been the only thing that I knew. But what he says to him.

Is You know, this idea of now that you've understood the very first important principle of humility, you're ready to go fishing because. As he was humbled by his friend, then he was ready to begin to truly go fishing with this new. Man, in its own way. And it works out very much. When you think about it, if you're fishing for disciples, it really.

requires a great big humility. I fish most days of my life. That's true. Because I live on a lake and I love to fish and my wife likes to go with me fishing and so what a wonderful thing. And I will tell you, you never come to the water and it's the same deal.

The weather's changed. I'm convinced, as I've explained many times, fish go to school. I can use this lure that just, or a fly or whatever else that works and works and works and works, and then all of a sudden it'll quit work and something else will be, and it makes no sense. But if you come to the water, and by the way, if you come to the Word of God, thinking do you know anything? You don't I don't even know What one letter means, better yet, one piece of scripture.

We will plumb the depths of this amazing word of God for eternity. It's unbelievable. But the more humble you are, like Moses was the humblest man that ever worked, when you get down lower, then the water can flow down to you, which is what. Moses being so humble when he approached God, it was all a learning experience. Hmm.

Well, the idea of this is Both my heavenly Father, he's been teaching me humility. And that lesson seems to continue and continue and continue. But what my earthly father taught me as far as fishing. Um And And what he You know, I caught more from him than he taught. He was always learning.

How to fish. He was always learning his craft. He was always learning these kinds of things. And he loved it. Right.

And and and if you love to learn. You know, then you can have an absolute blast every single day of your life. Amen. Thank you. Harold, is there something you'd like to share on on this topic?

Well, I think it's important to recognize that, as you said earlier. that we can learn what we don't want as well as with things that we do want. And my dad taught me both. He had a problem with alcohol. which caused me to go a hundred and eighty degrees away.

So, you know, that's just Alcohol's not an issue for me, 'cause I'll never do it. It, uh it was too painful. But he also taught me uh to have a good work ethic. to show up and to do my job. the man that's paying me I owe So my dad taught me a lot of things, good and bad.

And uh One of the one of the other things he taught me is he he worked putting in a pipeline for the gas company. And it didn't matter how hot it was or how cold it was. He was out there. and he told me, Son, Get yourself an education so you don't have to work like I do. and he didn't tell me, you know, I'm going to send you to school or whatever.

His word was, Get yourself. And so I did. And um I've appreciated that part of What my father gave me. Yeah, I mean sometimes um not giving your kids things and making them do for themselves is a great teacher. You know, I I I know that I don't think I appreciated things that were given to me anywhere close to appreciating things that I had paid for myself and earned.

And you just have a different appreciation for it. Terry, is there anything you'd like to add on the topic? Real quick, I think. One of the lessons I learned from my dad was on his dying bed. I sat beside him.

He was in real, big, real pain. I was a new Christian. I just got saved not very long before that. I sat in the room, it was just me and him. and all he could do was just moan and grunt.

So I asked him, I said, Dad, I said You want me to give you something? And he goes, he nodded his head. Yeah, and I went down and asked the nurses if they could. And they told me, they said, well, we just gave him something. and we can't give them anything else.

young Christian, never really prayed with my dad at all.

Okay, he just never did. My dad was You know, he was a he was a fleet boxer when he was in the Navy, big guy. And I went back down and I said, Dad, they can't give you anything. And I looked at him and I said, Dad, I said, You want to pray? And he nodded his head.

This crazy kid reached down and grabbed that guy's hand, and I just said a few words that I knew how to say. You know, just really wanting God to do something for my dad. And when I got to the end of the short prayer and I opened my eyes, but dad was asleep, right? Not dead. He was asleep, and I sat and I watched him, and I watched him.

and within 30 minutes. My dad was gone. But you know what I learnt? I learned how to pray. I took it to another level.

And it's because of my dad and I you know, I never got to say thank you. But I did. Yeah, and your actions did thank him. Amen. Because you helped him pass.

He helped me grew up when I became a man I am to know Christ today. And I don't mind praying with any man today. Yeah, well, thank you, Terry. I appreciate that. Yeah, it never gets uh It's a joy to talk about, but it still is emotional to talk about when you go through that.

And that's how you know when it really touches your heart and made a lifetime impact. We do have a boot camp coming up. It's November 20th through 23rd. It's in Royston, Georgia, and that's right across the way. If you live in Spartanburg or Greenville and you don't know where Royston is, wow.

No, I'm just kidding. But just go look. It's really, really close to you, and we'd love to have you there. If you'd like to go to the boot camp, no problem. If finances are an issue, reach out to one of us.

You know, as a matter of fact, just reach out to Rodney at masculinejourney.org, and he'll be glad to get back to you and help you out a way to do that. Rodney's, that's what I'm saying. Yeah, I would have to actually look at my email. Oh, okay, okay.

So maybe not Rodney. Remind me. Yeah, well, anyone but Rodney and Jim, probably. I wouldn't reach out to Jim because he's probably not going to look at his email either. Andy, were you going to say something?

Oh, I thought you were saying Rodney was going to provide a scholarship, and that's why you needed to email Rodney.

Well, he could. Yeah.

Oh, yeah, that I can provide. Email, no. Oh, okay.

Okay.

No, but a boot camp is a great place for God to step in and father you, right? He can do it anywhere and he does it all the time. We just don't always have eyes to see it. And what I find special about a boot camp is it takes time for you to be quiet and listen to God and to really let him work on your heart in a way that I promise you you don't often take time to do. Yeah, and, you know, I guess many people out there are fathers.

Your fathering will never be the same after you go to a boot camp or your grandfathering, right? Because you're going to find, we're going to talk about father wounds and stuff like that, and you'll go, man, I wish I knew this 10 years ago, 20 years ago.

Well, you need to know it now, and you can do that by coming to Royston. Oh, yeah. Even though I'd been in the massage, I had wounded my kids a lot along the way. Leaning into God and having them come to boot camps, those wounds have been dealt with and they've been prayed over and they've been forgiven. And you know, I'm in a much better place with my kids than I would ever be.

And I want that for you if that's been your story. But go to masconjourney.org. We'll talk with you next week. Love somebody well, and thank God for sending fathers in your life. Uh This is the Truth Network.

Yeah.