Fathers After Hours

This is the Truth Network. Coming to you from an entrenched barricade deep in the heart of central North Carolina, Masculine Journey After Hours, a time to go deeper and be more transparent on the topic covered on this week's broadcast.

So sit back and join us on this adventure. The Masculine Journey After Hours starts here now. Welcome to Masculine Journey After Hours, and I'm excited about the topic today. What about you, Andy? Absolutely.

Yeah, you can pull the microphone closer to you if you want. I'm a bit ready to smack it here. Yeah, it looks like it has a mind of its own. Andy's got a mind of his own.

Well, I do.

Well, he's got half a mind of his own. I'm in an argument with the microphone. He was yawning like he would. I thought he was going to swallow the microphone right by the way. Yeah.

He was so excited. Yeah, yeah. It's tasty. We're talking about fish outline. You're going to step out and get a cup of coffee here.

Yeah, you might get a big cup of coffee based on the way you just yawned. Yeah. What are we talking about today? Andy, tell the listeners out there what we're talking about. The importance of father in our lives, or who's your daddy.

Robby likes to say who's your daddy. Who's your daddy 2025? That's right. But really, just the importance of fathers in our lives. Um you know Fathers that are not our fathers, and how they fathers, you know, people that step in, God brings into our lives.

And then, obviously, everybody knows my favorite is God as a father to us all, and He's the Father of Fathers.

So, yep, that's what we're talking about. That's the importance of it. That was almost a present comment. I mean, Father, Father, Father, Father, Father, Father, Father. It was almost back in the day when you did the present.

It's hard to mess up what you're talking about if you keep repeating it, you know?

Well, that's true. Yeah, but you did well. I made the point. Yeah, you did relatively well. What are we talking about, Sam?

Fathers. I think we're working on fathers. Yeah, we are talking about fathers. It is Father's Day weekend. It's Father's Day Eve, unless you're listening to this at a later date.

It was Father's Day Eve a little while ago. But yeah, anyway, it's still valid. But no, we're talking about it and just opening our eyes up to the things that fathers have done for us. As we talked about in the last show, maybe you didn't have a great father, maybe you had some challenges, but at least he probably taught you what you didn't want to do as a father. You know, my dad had some really good points to him, but probably I made more agreements.

Of things I didn't want to do that my dad did. You know, and it wasn't necessarily always healthy, but you know, it did at least start me out in a good direction in some ways. But, Andy, you have the first clip of this show. If you'd like to tell us a little bit about it.

Well, the first thing about it is, you know, Danny has just quit submitting Andy Griffiths clips, so I'm going to take this. That is not. I'm going to take this back from in the title of the. Yeah, this is some Andy on Andy stuff, so let's get that going. But it's actually.

From the episode where um It it it's not in the clip, but They've got a Cannon within the town that Andy and Barney are trying to sell. And it's got, you know, it's older, so it looks historic, but it really they don't know the history behind it.

Well, Andy's been kind of embellishing what this cannon will do.

Well, I think just I didn't watch the whole episode. But OP. It's 28 minutes, man. It's hard to watch. You know, we deal with eclipse.

Man, if I'd watched every show that it's been a clip for, but anyway, it's been a while since I've seen an episode. But essentially, Opie's picking up on what his dad's doing.

Well, you're saying this compelling. Get off my pad. I need some coffee. Get a dictionary. You have to go way back in our episodes to hear about that.

But anyway. Five viewers.

Now we're down to two. But Opie is picking up on dad's habits or whatever. And Dad, and. Andy comes in here to kind of counsel him because you'll hear Opie's been embellishing some of his products that he's got out there. It's just a funny interchange, and I'll just talk about it when we get back.

We're going to be back. Let's go. Here we go. Wait now. How are you gonna be skating back when you don't have any skates?

Well, I'm gonna get them. Jerry and me are making a trade. His roll of skates for my liquor seeds. Your what? His liquor seeds.

What are licorice seeds? Where'd you get them? On another trade with Tommy Farrell. I gave him my cat pistol. You knew what?

It would have been worth it to grow my own liquor sticks. You were gonna grow licorice sticks? Yeah, but it was a fake. I planted them and nothing came up. You know, Paul, I think Tommy cheated me.

Yeah, I'd say that sums it up pretty good. And so now you're going to pound him off on the next fella? And on a better trade, too. Roller skates are twice as good as a cat pistol. Uh let me let me let me tell you something here.

You know that you've been taught the golden rule: do unto others as you'd have them do unto you? Yes, Paul. You think you've been following that rule? Sure. Sure, Tommy did it unto me, and now I'm doing it unto Jared.

Now, I believe you're bending that rule just a little bit.

Now, the golden rule says that you're supposed to be honest and square dealing with other folks.

Now, telling your friend that them seeds is going to grow licorice sticks, well, that's kind of far away from what you'd call square dealing, and it's awful close to what you'd call cheating. I didn't tell them that they grow licorice sticks, Paul. I just didn't tell them they wouldn't.

Well, I got cheated.

Well, now that still doesn't make it right. And I know that you wouldn't feel good at cheating your friend.

Now, I tell you what, do.

Now you just keep them licker seats and forget this whole trade until you got something worthwhile to dicker with, all right? All right.

Now just always remember, honesty is the best policy. You just listen to your paul, son. You'll never go wrong on that.

So it's funny Barney says that, listen to your paw and you'll never go wrong.

Well, shortly thereafter, it's really when Andy gets in and starts kind of basically telling stories about the cannon.

So after that exchange, Opie continues on because his dad's doing something different than what he said. And he goes, Opie ends up finding some cufflinks or whatever and said it was George Washington's buttons or whatever. And Andy's giving him a hard time. And it comes back to Andy that, you know, that Opie is right. And he changes and they, you know, they work it out as they always do in Andy Griffiths, right?

But, you know, a lot of times you can learn from your kids. You know, you feel like you're teaching them something. And there's things that I think probably I taught my dad in some ways, especially when I got serious about God in my 20s or whatever. I know that he saw the growth in me, and there's things that I believe that I probably helped him with. But just dad did a lot.

And I wouldn't say In early My early age I knew he loved me and all, but I never saw him really as a spiritual man. But I began to see that later in life. And and God's got me in this season of really appreciating going back in my memory and thinking about the positive. Sure, there's a negative, I could focus on that, but I much more uh would rather uh Think about the positive. I'll just give you an example.

You know, I'm not always good. I speak in generalities and don't give stories, but I thought this story was. In general, you do. In general. Generally.

General. But I was a pitcher. I'm going to say George Washington. His buttons, you know. I mean, I had a.

Sorry. Go ahead. Starred in sports. I wasn't very good at baseball. The first time they asked me what I wanted to play, I was like five years old.

I said batter. That was my position. You got to pick one. That's a good one. But shortly after that, I threw everything into sports and really began to improve.

Went to a different town to play. And we were a sorry team, but I was probably one of the better ones on it because I just really focused on it. But I was a pitcher and not very consistent. I remember a lot of times I would throw balls that would go up halfway up the backstop. And I.

Dad one time, he noticed that my control was my problem and he made me this like I mean, we were in the country. I didn't my brother wasn't interested in playing sports, so he dad made me this thing to pitch to. He took a basketball goal or hoop And and lined it put a Mm uh um some type of bag behind it to catch it. And he said, Go out there and s and practice every day and throw into it and I did, and I was getting pretty good. And that next week I was really a much better pitcher.

But also I still had a tendency I threw hard and I also had a tendency to throw it up in the back stop. And I think a lot of people got up there and struck out 'cause they were scared I would hit 'em. But I I remember that time I was having such a good game that I got a bit cocky and started strutting around. and I heard about it on the way home. And, you know, I think it brought me to tears.

I was still young and stuff.

So here we have a dad who's. Helps his son out. And there was a lesson to learn from that: of diligence and hard work and all that, and doing you know, practicing. And then there's this, you know, I got out, I got cocky, I was humble to your point. And so.

It was just a way to learn. It was just a combination of things that he taught me in a couple different ways. And, you know, dad was really good. I mean, his dad was not in his life at all when he grew up. I think I've mentioned on here, he actually later in his life committed suicide.

And so, my dad, you know, he had his problems with his relationships. With his wives and stuff, but he always stayed consistent in our lives. And he was hard at times and stuff. But I still just remember a lot of good things and the importance. of his involvement in my life.

Yeah, one of the things you talked about there, Andy, that I think is important to realize, maybe your memories of your dad are pretty painful, right? And you can't really focus on good things. You're just not, they're not there for you. You know, but that's where you can invite God in to say, God, okay, work on this hurt, work on this woundedness. And when the sting of that goes away, when God helps you take that away, then you're left with times where you can think of better things.

That's right. That's right. You know, because I see my dad so much differently now that when, one, I'm a lot older, and so I'm looking at life differently. But also, you know, God's worked on those wounds that I had, and I can look at him for who he was and not who he wasn't, because I want him to be something different than what he was. Yeah, and to have grace.

You know, the thing is, that perspective that God gives you, when he heals you, you can have grace for people a lot easier than you could before.

Now, dad was gone, and I've talked about this many times. Dad was gone an important time of my life, and I still suffer from it. I still, as much as God, I've stepped into it and he's initiated me. And he's done a lot of things. I still feel weak in areas and things that I feel like it wouldn't be the same if my dad would have stayed in my life.

But with that being said, what are you going to do? You can lean into God and allow him to put other men in my life and father me in those ways and continue to just allow him in. A lot of pla times men get into place where Dad wasn't there. I can't go to God.

So, this is all my own. You know, the whole different spirit says I have to do it myself. And I tell you, the more you lean into that, you got to have a spirit of humility to do that. Because it was pride that kept me ever from allowing anybody else to speak into my life because all it was going to do was expose me, or so I thought. There's a certain amount of exposure that happens, but are you going to stay there?

Are you going to move on? Absolutely. Well, thank you, Andy. Danny, you have the next clip.

Okay. I have to straighten up a fallacy that has been said. Oh, yeah? If somebody would have been here two weeks ago, they would have heard an Andy Griffith clip that I submitted two weeks ago.

So just saying. kinda defensive there then. Yeah. My honor was besmirched. Besmirched.

Yeah. That's right. He got the dictionary. That's right. I used the dictionary.

That's the only word I got out of it. Yeah, it was in the B's. I did get any further. Yeah, I couldn't go much further than that. I got bored.

That's the next word. Yeah. Yeah, d you know, I learned a lot from dad growing up that, you know, dad was pretty much a borderline mechanical genius. I mean, a man can fix anything. I mean, literally can.

And I inherited a lot of that. I mean, I think it's just some of it's genetics. And but uh you know the but you know some of his words of wisdom I I recall growing up and you know my clip comes from Bluebuds and it's grandfather Henry talking to um Jamie about some advice between his him and his dad. And it reminded me of some of the things Dad had had said along the way. And, um, But that we can play that clip and then we'll talk about it on the other side.

Busted. What? I I just got my second win. You want in? But I do have a question.

Sure. How'd you feel when dad stopped reaching out to you for help? When did that ever stop? No, I mean back in the day when he was coming up, he used to say that he had Joan's speed dial for like a decade. And along came that fateful day.

June 6, 1982. You remember the date? Francis was excited because he had managed to defuse a war between two Chinatown crime bosses. Everybody else was excited for him. I realized He never so much as mentioned it to me.

So it's done a little bit. Maybe more. But I was proud too. knowing he was able to strike someone up because I taught him how to throw the forkball.

So what didn't you go to them for? Bust the Just this thing with this retired cop, but I I handled it. Handled it or handled it well? Uh both but Eddie thought differently. I keep wondering if...

She was right, and I was just being defensive. Here's the dirty little secret about climbing the ladder. The higher you go, The more you second guess yourself. Yeah. and with marriage its third and fourth cousin.

So I'd say you're on the right track. Thanks, Bob. I'll get out of here.

So I can finish the pie.

Okay. The um Yeah, I remember growing up, you know, watching dad just repair things and, you know, just watching him and Usually aggravating him probably because I was right in there wanting to see what he was doing. But you know, the other thing in that was dad always treated people well. And he's always a friendly face. Dad never meets a stranger ever, and I'm that way.

Just I can remember riding to the auto parts store with him and always wanted to go somewhere with him, but would get tired before he was ready to go 'cause he would talk and talk and talk. And now people my son goes, Dad, we gotta go 'cause I'm gonna talk and talk and talk. But you know, those are just kind of the things that I picked up from Dad. But he always treated people well. Didn't no matter who you were.

or you know where you come from, but dad just treated people well. And I can remember as I got older and started to work in plumbing and eating business and stuff, he said, son. He said, Get paid for what you know, not what you do. He said, if they want to send you to a class or to a school or something like that, he said, go. Learn everything you can.

And that has served me well over the years. And because I mean, basically, I'm in a job now, I get paid more for what I know than what I do. I don't fix anything anymore, but I help guys on the phone fix things. And that's, you know.

solely due to advice my dad gave me thirty, forty years ago.

So, you know, and just watching him treat people the way the way he wanted to be treated. And, you know, that kind of thing. And I remember. It was nineteen ninety five um I had gotten sober in 1994 and was trying to do the right thing and everything and and it was on a Sunday, um I was supposed to go to an AA meeting and I was supposed to be the speaker. the first time and that kind of thing and, you know, it was important to me and And we got up and the whale was on the Fritz.

If you've ever grew up in a house with a whale, when the whale quits, you don't have any water. And so dad said, we're going to have to pull that well out of that thing. I said, well, I'll call and cancel everything. And he looked at me and he said, no, son, you go and do what you need to do. He said, I don't understand what y'all do at those meetings, and I don't understand a lot of stuff that you talk about.

He said, But I see the difference in you, so you go, we'll take care of the well.

So, you know, it was those things that, you know, knowing that dad loved me. Yeah, absolutely.

Well, thank you, Danny. I appreciate that. Rodney, is there something you'd like to add to this topic? Yeah, I want to get your topic. I want you to talk and get your show.

My clip? Your clip.

Well, I will.

Okay. Well, I can do that. If you don't want to share, if you're you're just saying, hey, I'm just going to hold it to myself, that's fine. Yep.

Okay, well we got it. All right, so I have the next clip. And so my clip is from the movie Man of Steel. And you have, it's not Superman's natural father. It's his stepdad, if you want to be technical.

It's his adoptive dad. It's one that's been raising him ever since he landed here at Earth. And so it's Clark Kent's dad, you know, Mr. Kent, whatever his name was. Mr.

Kent, I think. But anyway, he has some great advice for him here. And I want to talk a little bit about that when we come back. But just listen to what he has to say. And what's happening here is Clark is sitting in the truck, the cab of the truck, and three of the boys from school come up and pound on the window and try to get him to fight.

Now keep in mind he's Superman. He knows he can win this fight. But he doesn't. And his dad is watching, and at one point they kind of look over at the dad and they see the dad's there, and then they take off, and the dad comes up and they have this conversation.

So you'll hear all that play out. Mm. Come on, Kent. Come on, fight back. Get up, Kent.

I'm not sure if I can do it. Is that all you've got? Come on, Ken. Come on. Did it hurt you?

You know they can't. That's not what I meant. all right. I wanted to hit that kid. I wanted him so bad.

I know you did. I mean. Part of me even wanted you to, but then one. Make you feel any better. 'Kay.

You just have to decide what kind of man you want to grow up to be, Clark, because. Whoever that man is, good character or bad, he's... It's going to change the world. Yeah, I love that clip. It's not just Superman.

We have to decide what man we want to be, right? Because whatever man we decide to be, we're going to change the world. And so I had a couple stories that I wanted to share. One was about my dad growing up. And dad would give me things like, you know, good advice.

You know, never hit a woman. And so I took that to heart, you know, because I knew dad would kill me if I ever hit a girl. You know, and dad's been gone lots of years, but that's just, that was wired in me. You know, you never do that. And he would say, never start a fight.

Right, finish it, but never start it. And so I did a lot, you know, because I didn't want to come home because the first thing he was going to ask. Did you hit a woman? And I'd say, no, Dad. Did you start a fight?

Because I fought a lot as a kid. I had a lot of anger, and there's a lot to my story that causes that anger. And I think I fought almost every day in elementary school, usually with the same kid. But you can do a whole lot to not start a fight and start one. You know, I wouldn't throw the first punch, but I would be the instigator.

I know you guys are shocked. No. Yeah, I know. It's okay. Yeah, I know.

It's surprising, right? And then my dad gave me great advice, like trying to say five times really quickly, smart fella, I fella smart. Right? Don't try that in a little bit, and you'll understand why. And then he would just laugh and laugh and laugh at me because my dad had a great sense of humor and he had a quick wit.

And so I grew up around that. And that's something that I tended to inherit from my dad: you just see life a little more warped than everybody else, and you think of things, and it just makes you laugh. You know, and it's gotten me through a lot of tough situations because sometimes things hurt so much. That you just gotta find a way to laugh at them because that's the only thing you can do because you can only cry so much. You know, and it's been a great thing for me.

And it's something that you can hide behind if you're not careful. Right? You can hide behind humor, you can hide behind those things. And so my dad did impart a lot of things on me positively. You know, initially, a lot of the things for me was I made agreements that I wouldn't, I'd never miss one of my kids' practices or games.

And other than when I was out of state for one little short period of time in my career when I was traveling, I never missed a kid's game. I never missed a play. You know, I made as many practices as I could. And that was important to me because my dad never came to mine and I knew how much that hurt. Right now, I did hurt my kids in lots of other ways, you know, because I'm a broken man, you know, and hurt people hurt people.

Right? But the other thing I wanted to share is how my kids have really, now that they're all adults, have really each taken turns fathering me. In different ways, and because we have a really open and good relationship. that you know, I'm going through some medical stuff right now and Eli's been getting medical training. That's going to be his career.

He's in grad school now and you know, he's going to be an athletic trainer and he's helping me understand some of that stuff that I wouldn't have because I don't have that much time with the doctor. Caleb helps me in ways and Sydney helps me in ways. And it's just great to even have your kids step in and help father you in ways that you've never seen. And so that's kind of my story, Rodney.

So we switch over to you for the last little bit of the show. Yeah, it it's like you just said, you get advice from your kids every once in a while and it really, really is nice. I know like for me, just trying to reach out to them as it just seems like it gets harder and harder and harder right now for me. you know, well, what do I say to them when they don't want to talk about God, or talk about whatever they want to talk about. And I've had, you know, times where you just get told, Well, I'm working on X and I don't need to talk about this or that.

You know, ju there's just things that come up that's like, oh. If you don't want to talk, I won't talk then. But really like like you talk about back to your your own father. You know, he's never a Christian. He died, gosh, what was I?

I was in my twenties. you know, late later twenties when he passed away. And didn't know how good that was really going to be for me until I got Older and like, okay, I don't have that influence of all of that. And I finally came to Christ. But just, I mean, he won.

Outside of just not being a Christian, he was he was a Pretty decent guy. You know, he did some things absolutely wrong that he should never have done and things of that nature. But growing up with him and being able to communicate and talk with him and do some things with him, we gardened and did those kinds of things together. I mowed yards and he, you know, he would help. You know, fix the lawnmower, do those kinds of things.

He would give some advice once in a while on those kinds of things, but he was still. drawn away to something else that I was trying to figure out. Where is he going? But usually it was uptown to the bar. That's just what he did.

After work, it was up, go up there for a couple of hours or so, and then he'd finally come home. It just kind of. you don't think about it until You get older and you know more about life, and you know what you're just making decisions on, and then you're thinking. Oh, what was he making his decisions on, and what was going through his mind? And you kind of learn a lot.

You know, like you were just saying earlier, it's pretty amazing how much you can learn when you're older and you can see things differently. And that's just where I'm at. It's a lot to sit through. And now that I have my kids, you know, either learning positive or negative for me, I'm trying to live in a way that I can influence them well. And if they don't want to be influenced by me, that's fine.

But I'm just trying to live Through and in all that. Oh, thank you. Go to masculinejourney.org to register for the upcoming boot camp. If you are in Greenville or Spartanburg, about said those backwards, if you're in those areas, we're right across the border in Georgia and Royston, Georgia. Beautiful camp, Camp Littleite.

An amazing, amazing location. It's so much fun. Lots of things to do there. Go to mascuinejourney.org to register. Thank you for listening and let God love on you this week and love on others well.

We'll talk to you next week. you This is the Truth Network. Yeah.