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11- Challenges and Triumphs of Surviving Abuse.

The Cure / Aimee Cabo
The Truth Network Radio
January 28, 2019 7:53 am

11- Challenges and Triumphs of Surviving Abuse.

The Cure / Aimee Cabo

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January 28, 2019 7:53 am

In today's episode Aimee and co-host Dr. Nikolov talk with Mickie Zada an abuse survivor and coach about the challenges and triumphs of surviving abuse.

THE CURE Live streamed podcast is hosted by Aimee Cabo and offers a platform of hope to anyone who has experienced domestic violence, abuse, mental illness, any trauma or is experiencing problems now in their lives. It's a place to find comfort, knowledge, strategies, answers, hope and love while healing the wounds and 'affirming' that you are not alone.  

Join Aimee and her professional guests on  The Cure with Aimee Cabo podcast    every Saturday at 1 PM EST  as it is recorded during the live radio show.

You can find information about the show and past guests by visiting the  RADIO SHOW PAGE.

You can also view the weekly  Video podcasts  on Apple Podcasts.  

Aimee hopes that anyone who has suffered abuse of any kind, or walked a moment in similar shoes, will find inspiration in these pages, and hope that love and truth will ultimately prevail. Please subscribe and share this podcast.
 
HOSTS:

Aimee Cabo Nikolov is a Cuban American who has lived most of her life in Miami. After many years of healing, finding love, raising a family and evolving her relationship with God, Aimee's true grit and courage led her to pen an honest, thought-provoking memoir. Years of abuse became overshadowed with years of happiness and unconditional love. Now Aimee is the president of IMIC Research, a medical research company, a speaker, radio host and focused on helping others. You can read more about Aimee by  visiting her website.
 
Dr. Boris Nikolov is the CEO of Neuroscience Clinic. You can read more about Dr. Nikolov and the work he is doing by  visiting his website.

GUESTS:

You can read more about coach, author and abuse survivor Mickie Zada @  https://survivingabusenetwork.com/

 

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Brought to you by volume ICU research life can bring many difficult situations, domestic violence, poverty and even sexual by your loved ones welcome Amy Cobb and the Q again next year hosting 888 you can listen online@ww888.com 888 and is you could also ask Lexmark to iHeartRadio to play bass this show covers topics that deal with trauma abuse, mental illness, common misconceptions, treatment and healing options. Basically I started this shell because I found the need for people. I saw a lot of people suffering around me and I for one thought that because I had difficult challenges in my life, abused, and I have got the domestic violence and many different challenges scenarios like custody battles and rape and learn to overcome and my way of trying to help others is by sharing my ways. I was a head of the compass but also what I do is I look for other people that have something that they can help and bring to the table.

Other opinions, other medical professionals or podcast chairs or testimonials or inspirational speakers and that's what I like to do today. I am joined by my husband, Dr. Nicola Dr. Boyson Hardy and I have a very special guest today is a podcast or she her podcast is called surviving abuse. She's also an author of the book looking behind closed doors. Domestic abuse if we don't change nothing changes. Welcome Mideast data hello Mickey how are you all thank you for having me on your thank you for being here so Mickey thought a little bit about yourself and how you came into this lineup for what and what got you to this end, what you can share with us because I think to help everyone as part as much as possible. Let me have worked for me may not work for someone else. So the more of us that bring ideas, then the more people that we can help sell the what what are your methods Mickey why you know God would I live in the computer for 34 years. Paid way too long at the dance. And what about that is that I could come of that feeling like a victim that I waited 34 years, or that I had allowed myself to be abuse liberty.

But I think a different hack.

I chose that once I left my abuser to put myself in a repair shop for four or five years I hired coaches I hired helpers I took classes I was on webinar I did whatever I could to change me because I knew exactly what you said Amy if I don't change nothing changes because your friends will think about yourself.

Think about a family member.

Often we women, but women are minor women go from well imagine abuser portion is an alcoholic and drug addict and she there for a few years and then she read and guess what in a couple years.

She married no one to point out another abuser and another alcoholic, another drug abuser. Another personal physical abuse or whatever and then she made another one will you there. I realized that if I were to make better choices.

I had to be a different person, and that's what I did. I went to work changing me. I pray that many women who leave a domestic abuse which is my my area of expertise will lead to nothing abuse to well let me say this not not everybody but a lot of people I think they build condos in victimhood and all the time drinking and feeling bad and blaming other people and any responsibility not working on them so they did live there in that little condo in victimhood and a builder library and I think that's sad so I'm part of my mission to help women identify that mentality and so I can't do the work for them as you know any. We have to do homework. I can provide the evidence I can provide inspiration like in my podcast interview with the domestic abuse I I bring on women just like you who use but who end up in a strong, being strong and focus. So I say living in their authentic lives and that pretty much me. That's what I do know yes come to realize that nobody's accent from suffering is anything in life I believe is guaranteed that people suffer anything else I can begin indeed and as such we need to know how to survive and go past a list for doing it and I know that I wasn't always in a place where he thought I need to do the right thing or that I felt that I love myself enough to even do the right thing for me. What worked was faith in God believing that he would always provide that even when things went wrong. Something was bound to give and I always initiated Prager in my life because there was a point in my life just had no money didn't have a friend to give me advice. I didn't have sisters.

I didn't have no one. I was alone in the world and had a little girl to take care of battles to fight and classes that I can fail and it was just me. I had no other choice but to turn to God because they turned to God. I found strength because I learned that I had to live my life according to how Jesus taught us that we that we were supposed to behave. Union philosophy size where there is light darkness, my success and some of us have strayed from our values, our police, even God. I know I've been there in my life. I know life straightaway. I haven't always done the right thing.

You know it's been a constant know what been my constant relationship. My longest relationship has been God and I know that someone that I can turn to you, even when I don't feel it enough.

Even when I don't feel like I love myself enough, even when I feel like it's hopeless that there's no point in making my situation better because sometimes people in a bad situation just get up.

They don't think they deserve any better and wants you realize that there is a higher being. That's always there. That lesson unconditionally. Somebody it gives them a purpose saying somebody cares somebody's there, and that's making what worked for me.

I don't know about you body. I mean when I met Bobby tell you he didn't even go to church right body were right direction to go without even you have any problems in his life. Yeah I'm just sitting here but anyway something to make use of the really impressed me about the victim and then you know some people just go with the victim being demoted wanted to talk about the because the really good point that we are actually looking for a yet we should label people to cut so for those victims because the full exec. There are victims but maybe the better way to put it is that they suffered something instead of red Mickey. I think I think the victim part comes in because I believe we have a choice. We have a choice that we can make our lives better. My joy and became to anyone earlier I you know, while I was married any talk of God, or any kind of beliefs or overreliance on a higher power was not tolerated, not tolerated though for me to change my life. Part of that was starting to go to church starting to turn back to God, knowing I don't have to do that myself and wanted it and I think that a lot of the victim. If you feel like you're by yourself that you don't it is not the right word but it's more common. I think for people women to remain unknown more unhealthy provision in their lives when they think they're alone and we open our hearts and open our minds and say you know I need help here and amazingly, there is a lot of support groups to go to and that's not only deal. The only thing that maybe they don't feel like 5070 better than a loving each other they not also what it is going to going to use it to sexual abuse is doing it or maybe they may feel ashamed of what's what they're going to do about the times they feel like they may be victimized, that they may be charged that it there's that they may not be believed that we don't we don't we don't bring order to be believed, and we know that he is again used only to have to tell you, when he started really seriously praying every day and I'm telling you takes pain every day. Sometimes the battle that started seeing things more clearly. And I mean I can going to the behaviors that he started realizing were better. And even though I don't read the Bible. I saw a passage that I found I came across that no eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind, but God has prepared for those who love and there is a preacher called the name of Priscilla Shriver and she talks a little bit about the Konstantin struggle a constant fight against evil forces and the importance of prayer.

It's called be strong no just the apostle Paul. This whole situation is because he says it needs to be used to describe the enemy. He said that he against you. Somebody 15 and we are on green guys the going to let a day after intermission.

There's a commercial that this is I tell you the important thing to listen to because we do all suffer.

Nobody's accent from suffering, whether it be abuse or condition or ailment that you going to prayers one of the ways that we can have a compass girl.

The word out to do me wrong the whole what you have been to figure out my tendencies when I common when I go out you can figure out what my weaknesses are and what the tendencies of my flesh you've been looking like today will find out to be married to her home.

You so that you can take what you you you you you you know you working you and he says I will give you some weapons that work there are so many of them.

We don't have time to go over to you know true righteousness will be called 17 salvation is really the spirit and the spirit is the word of God with those six comes along and says pray weapon prayer does not like God. What prayer does it unlock all of the resources he had planned for you anyway. Prayer finally given to us by God so that we don't wait to get to experience heaven, we can experience heaven will my heart right now you want to see you in the mind of God's people the power of the most want them to date downplay the significance of the one who could wipe me out one no matter what you claim you no matter what you suffering for you keeps you afloat you need violence already. The issue is not overcome all obstacles filled with the love of God, your husband and your family. You can succeed.

Love is the answer. God is the key word reveals from a very sincere and honest position in Cabo's wife, a warrior who didn't give up and achieve the dream of her life. You can get to know more about her at her story on www.godisthekeyword.com buying her book on Amazon.com.

Now we continue with daily gobble in the 218 80 so here you hosting and today and join us use the podcast and Dr. poison, and we have been talking about trauma recovery and Mickey I was just speaking to you about circumstances that happen, and how we have negative thoughts in her mind thinking you know nobody's accent suffering is very well known person by the name of Ron Ono who writes appointments because my sadness. This is how some people deal with sadness is a part of life. Some people never see they look at me and I smiled back back Helen supposed to be. I hide my tears to sunshine and heighten the rain, hoping that these people never see the pain these endless thoughts of sadness lay heavy on my mind.

I look upon my faith. Dear God to help me out the part of me that's an filled with so much love, my faith has brought me peace. Dear God sent from above. So basically nobody's extent suffering, but it's important to know that there's God and he'll always be there for us is always there for us and how do we now are negatively thinking the times that we feel that when you get the stunning mind not getting the thing you can think that's okay God will provide. Wherever I fall short. God will pick up you can't fight it because it doesn't necessarily something that has to be wrong with the person it doesn't have to be a symptom. I believe just like there is good spot and everything good in my life. I credited to God that everything that has gone wrong. I credit the devil and all the bath and all the negative thoughts for the bad feelings that I need to realize that their only momentarily that yes life is a constant struggle and it's okay because there's something good things being difficult. There's no mandate, and anything that comes easy everything that comes difficult. Nothing worth doing.

Comes easy and I learned to behave better ways and Tommy making podcasts.

What are the things that you have run into what are the things that have kept people from maybe moving forward and continuing with life and what advice could you give us to know how we can better deal with suffering the situations that are not going to write one guaranteed in life is always there's always something there.

I don't like in my house I talk about it often in my pocket with my cooking client might let plaque read faith in God include faith in his timing so other human being. I I look for immediate gratification. I think I got my problem, will you fix it right now is way is now doing. We own and I did the young woman, contact me and she said no I'm so weary and tired of waiting for God to tell me what's going on in my response was, you know what I covered in my life is often I have for help, but I have forgotten always come every time it always does, but not in my early that I'm to take a while for God to accomplish things that are happening and I always pray this or something better because I might think I know how I want the outcome to be, but will often God got a much better plan than I do know I don't always see the things that he's working in my life because it from what I think a little longer.

Part of that we learned we go long years of different problems that I'll see why I think I have it covered with God.

Media will be done. Everything a deal in my life and my family and everything because ultimately it's his well that's perfect I know we make our mistakes and were given that option though if you allow God to guide you then things change for you realize for example I used you the person that I would get confused. You know I would just because if I need someone and they don't react to something in the same way why they don't think in the same way that I do. I was quick to judge and I realized due time.

The life experiences that just because somebody doesn't think the same way somebody doesn't act in the same way to situation doesn't mean it right wrong or indifferent. I believe I really don't know if my way is the right way and I know when to touch and have learned to live my life like that and always put myself in the other person's shoes to try to understand where they're coming from. I have always tried to be a kind person to do the right thing and this rosy figure that I pray and it gives you songs in between the prayers and gives your storyline and it says bless those who listen to God you know who keep God's laws and keep God's no teachings. So basically all of us just lift our life the way that Jesus Christ asked us to read Mickey I think things would be so much better. No doubt there if you believe everything that's been said that God will provide that he doesn't give us anything that we cannot handle everything passes then there's nothing that we cannot overcome and anything's possible cutting life. I agree wholeheartedly.

I wouldn't be where I am. If I had not come back around to God. I think it is hard to think that you're doing all by yourself.

Nobody has to feel that way. Took me a while to come back around. Okay God, you're in charge now is one of the little panic about, things are going on in the world today because I know God in charge, it might look weird, it might look like things are crazy and they are but I know that so I don't I don't panic too much. Yes, that's very important guide I found God to be extremely helpful and an important in my life and everything that I do have to sell you because there's no way that I would have needed to anything, especially when you have about bottom.

I think you really have to hit rock bottom several times and get nothing.

Say okay I have no other choice but to believe that you will help me God has you will say when you eat that you always be there for me and that you will help me if I asked for it and if I need you. And if I turned to ICQ and if you keep praying eventually got a listen something and give great source to pay. I've never learned of anybody who lays in bed all day long and gives guidance hillside to all of a sudden feel like they've become something you got to get to a point where you say I don't want this. I don't want to suffer anymore.

I want to beat this. Can a person want to be a blessing to others. I want to set a good example. I want to leave an impression do something in nature. I do it right because one good thing my mother always said always take the good things and the bad things I leave behind and I think that the things in my mother always said everything in this world is discovered and Mickey that is so true you do it right right that we have to do the work. We can want something we can pray for we can move forward but might well my favorite parable of God, the bird, but he doesn't drop the food in the know we have to go out and take action move forward and died in all my personal life mission is in and Dave incompetent to align with divine imprint and serve as a beacon for others will for me to align with divine intent and that means I have to keep moving forward because of the light on my feet and a light on my feet that shine forward and not go through the direction that I'm in a go with him. Life is amazing, amazing wow that is great that we can hope good people in life and it's a funny thing, once you start praying seemed to see things here and you start to do the right thing and once he did the right thing. Then you start to become proud of yourself. You start to feel better about yourself you get a better self-esteem and everything just comes into place like for example I learned to appreciate everything in life you know that we are every day. Underneath this beautiful blue sky. That's all we know, so I only know is a beautiful blue sky.

That's a given correct that this guy could have been green or purple or orange or yellow and dirty clouds all the time and there's so much beauty in this world and we don't realize each and every one of us are so very blessed and we have so much potential Ingersoll special and we just have to type I anyhow Mickey. All we can do is try to be there for one another, because I think that's the whole idea that God calls us to do some things and into something of an impression, Mickey is out sick so website the you have the suggestion to all you tried discover yourself you tried to new think a week. One thing every week for year does a good idea right just what you do it like can you explain a sure thing one Michael suggested one night when I was divorcing my abuser. I lived there for 34 years I married you 80 in the eye. I allowed myself to be totally washed away. I played like a rock in a stream of water runs over and over and over and over the years the rocks worn away will I allow that to happen myself so at 53 I try to fill one of my suggested that I do something new every week to cover what what do I like what do I not like where my strong where my not so I did some things that were a giant like I went on the world-I'm afraid I think the floor there is likely an egg take you up. The height of a length of a football field and then you pull a lever and you fall fall fall and then you swing and it was amazing for those one of things I did and things like I never wanted coloring so I got a got a couple coloring than for a week I were towing's actually I kinda like that, like, but the new think I took flyfishing lessons I'd never like this Will that looks interesting on a golfer and I thought flyfishing similar single board in an individual sport, so I did that reading new new authors while me what was Jack's turning point was that all in your head after suffering for so many years that you see he is six something better need to be different, but was brought there will was for years and years. I told myself that the next time I'm like my emotional, financial, and physical. So I said the neck and I drew them leaving the next member is Emily progress over the years that I told myself that although my confidence grew because I began to embrace personal growth.

Also, I began reading the Bible and kinda building my life tried to kill one day and all gosh thinking years ago in November. I was getting my favorite chair my husband came home he was. You know what he was mad about but he grabbed me by the arms in my chair and he started climbing me against the back of the chair and I was getting my arms and that was the point I would like it was like a light bulb went off in my head and said you don't you put up with not supposed to be.

I was in that relationship because God wanted me to help my husband that I was the strong one that I could keep in between the lines that I could that I was the only one who understood and at that moment I knew that was not true.

There were bigger things in my life for me to do and for month, month after that lightbulb went off after that inspiration, that intuitive none. And I believe it was God saying okay long enough time to go with me for month but then I did it I allowed myself to be locked so I started doing that I found a church in 500 churches that kind of thing every week something new that I had never done before the change that helped me become me and so I got involved in mastermind lay familiar with Mr. mind lines are groups of people to become biblical two or more people together third mind informed and so it's brilliant in the group agrees spiritually to be connected and help each other and I was in a mastermind group and one of one of the people part of what would God was where we want to live what what what our mission is part of living. Where would we like to be at the time.

I live in central Illinois. I want to live. I live in Florida and I want to be. I pray for. That's what I held onto and the time I was single of 14 years had no intention of ever getting married, and behold God brought me brought me in connection with a gentleman I met thing in 50 years. We dated in high school and I believe God had a together and as a teenager, so that we be ready when we got back together for real but here is a yeah no I did not. By Holding onto. I want to live on the beach alone on the beach. I know it can happen.

I don't know how happen it doesn't matter run and be like then I hooked up with my light, my current husband, Alan, wonderful, wonderful man recontacted me online. We started talking and we just talk on the phone for about six months before we ever even met face-to-face health on the day something better because I want to help people.

I got that in Connecticut is not like I thought was in Connecticut again this morning with Marlon loving caring so very easy to turn to God, how your life images that are challenges stop happening. You just handle it better year actions you learn to appreciate life more office and you feel more blessed and thinks do you get better for you even if you do, and just hanging in the cystic here. Are you listening to the chair. I'm your host capital and a call in number is 305-541-2350. If you'd like to call and share your story or speak to us the way I will say in an already sexual issues not stay there to overcome all obstacles show the love of God, your husband and your family. You can succeed. Love is the answer. God is the key word reveals from a very sincere and honest position in Cabo's wife, a warrior who didn't give up and achieve the dream of her life. You can get to know more about her at her story on www.godisthekeyword.com buying her book on Amazon.com.

Now we continue with daily gobble in the 218 80 welcome cell Cabo hello joined by Dr. poisoning on surviving abuse and basically discussing trauma and suffering waste, not only ways that you can believe in yourself and you just have better luck better than this. Importantly, given all hope in yourself. Got somebody that cares and there's somebody worth doing the right thing for why because somebody's taking notice even when nobody else notice.

God says and you peonies the way that you your blast if you are faithful and loyal to God's teachings, so making wanted to tell you think you so very very much for joining us today.

How can people reach you or look into your podcast or email you or your book all available on my website which is surviving abuse network.com surviving abuse network.com go there. I have a free actually have a free form their home. What I really abuse and download that also with my plan Watch my videos and read articles on things in my book is available on Amazon called looking behind closed doors it on Amazon and Kindle and in the back you wanted to share something with us lies about you wanted to share a couple of phone numbers for everybody that I needed so if you think of your abuse to can always call the number. There is many of them are for example 877-855-1246 or you can call the national domestic violence hotline, which is 1-800-799-7233 and up can be completely anonymous and I can help you and guide you to make a decision or get out of the abuser situation soon as possible so there's help. If you are worried that something is happening to you. Just cold. One of these numbers and there's going to be somebody to help close the emergency call 911 and that we come to another shell and thank you everyone for attending and that I wanted to leave you with something that I found this very interesting. I am very fond of this feature process driver, and she makes an analogy because we cannot lead suffering in life that this is not it's not so bad. She puts it this way. It's called put on the armor of God, and you can defeat any dark forces actually storm somehow they are able to determine that a storm is on the way well before it gets there and so the storm actually coming. The Eagle will lock its wings steadily in place in preparation for the storm. They will go to up to a high point. Get secure and settle their and then they will at the right time lock their wings in place when the storm had already set there locked and secure. When that turbulent wind begins to pick up speed. Actually, you will win the Eagle actually using the wind of the storm above it so that while storm is raging and raging below when the storm actually benefiting the Eagle and causing it to fly higher than ever before the storm. The storm is still raging at The storm go away if you of the storm to help it strange to say, you situation, violence, addictions, poverty and even sexual abuse by your loved ones. The issue is not stay there, but to overcome all obstacles show that with the love of God, your husband and your family.

You can succeed. Love is the answer. God is the key word reveals from a very sincere and honest position in Cabo's wife, a warrior who didn't give up and achieve the dream of her life.

You can get to know more about her at her story on www.godisthekeyword.com buying her book on Amazon.com with Amy Kabul was brought to you by IM IC research 786-310-7477 or www.God's word.com. Tune in every Friday at 2 PM with baby Cabo right here on 880


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