Rescued and Redeemed, Audio podcast Ep #125

Hi guys, we're getting ready to start The Cure Radio Show with Amy Cabo and I hope that you can join us. Today is going to be extremely informative and hopefully very helpful because it deals with very serious matter that we unfortunately have today which is violent crimes against children, more specifically child exploitation in the sexual form.

And it's something that we really need to get to the bottom of it and tackle it and let those kids and parents and families know that there is hope. So, hope you can join us. Boris wants to say hi. Boris, he wants to say hi.

That's what you say all the time. I do say hi. I like to say hi. Hi. Anyway, it's going to start soon. Please stay with us.

Back to you. I'd like to say that today is a beautiful sunny day in Florida but instead I'll have to tell you it's raining. But hey, no rain, no flowers. Flowers grow when it rains so the rain is necessary as well especially when it hasn't rained here for a while so we're grateful.

In other places there is snow. Nonetheless, we're grateful when it rains and when it shines. We take the good with the bad such as life. There's good times, there's bad times but we learn to get by with trust in God of course. It's a good thing he's around.

Yep. So, today we're going to have a very special guest as well, a retired detective that is going to help us through this process as well. A detective who understands it very well since she's a survivor herself. So, what better person to deal with these kind of things than somebody else. My family always said I was the bad job. Throwing me away into the bad bow.

All my life been putting on a fake smile. Sitting on my own feel like I'm exiled. Feeling like I always do the wrong things.

Telling all their friends that I'm the bad kid. Now I'm on my own, I lost my magic. Dealing with you, now I'm over it. And you took a part of me, left me with the memories of, we were never a family. Now you're standing in front of my door.

Like none of this happened at all. I guess I'm always gonna be the bad job. I guess I'm always gonna be the bad job. Cause you never understand my weak minds. My weak minds. And to every single person here that doubts me. Telling me that they could live without me. Cause they will never understand my weak minds.

My weak minds. The Cure with Amy Cabo. Life can bring many difficult situations.

Domestic violence, addictions, poverty and even sexual abuse by your loved ones. Welcome Amy Cabo and The Cure. Good afternoon and welcome to The Cure Radio Show. I'm your host Amy Cabo with my partner Boris.

Hello guys. Our show is available live on your radio, also live throughout The Cure with Amy Cabo on any smartphone and our website GodIsTheCure.com because he is. We're broadcasting live today from Miami through satellite in 35 radios in 11 states and on Sirius XM channel 131 and live on social media soon after the show on any podcast player as a podcast. I wanted to thank our social media followers especially since we've reached a million people in January 2021 alone.

Thank you and thank God. This show deals with suffering and the tenacity of the human spirit, the will to survive, the courage to keep moving forward despite any obstacle with the help of God who enables us to help each other. We provide testimonials to let people know that they're not alone and the testimony started with me having been a survivor from child abuse well into young adulthood. We also have experts in several fields and inspirational speakers that are willing to help us with valuable information knowing that education is needed, awareness is crucial and comfort is essential. I do believe we all suffer or have suffered from something and we hope to be a source of healing for each other but despite trying everything, God was my only cure.

Other forms of healing are presented as well to service everyone. Life can be challenging but always know there's someone that cares, always someone that cares, at least God does. The song we played earlier was Bad Child by Tones and I and this is my take guys. Those of us considered the bad child are sometimes at risk most of the time.

It leaves opportunity for the enemy to take advantage and perpetuate crime. We can feel like the wrong ones, confused about good things and learn to slowly fade in submission like puppet on strings. To God there is no bad kid, He replaces what's taken, He gives us new life, we're loved and never forsaken. No longer in exile, our smile becomes real, we gain a new family, thrive and once again feel.

God gives us new meaning, turns our weak minds strong, shows there can be miracles when we know it's God to whom we belong. Wow, you're getting better by the day. Thank you. Today we will talk about overcoming child sexual abuse and we have a very special guest, Amanda DeGenneste. Amanda is a sexual abuse survivor herself but her faith in God, family support, talking, writing and therapy has helped her through the internal pain and suffering.

Amanda's career led her to the path of working the very type of crime she was a victim by becoming a supervising investigative detective. Her poetry and hobby helped her create a book, I Am, hoping to show other survivors that they're not alone and it's okay to speak up. Amanda, welcome to The Cure. You're now live. Thank you, Amy. Thank you so much for having me. Amanda, thank you so much for your service as a law enforcement officer and I just want to take this moment as a special tribute to two fallen FBI agents who were fighting the same monsters, dealing with violent crimes against children.

Special agents Daniel Auffin and Laura Schwarzenegger were shot and killed this Tuesday in Velarde, Florida. May they rest in peace. But thanks to their heroic efforts and sacrifice, it led to 300 arrests and at least 55 children rescued. Amanda, was this similar to your line of work?

Can you share some of your experiences and was it too close to heart? Usually, my line of work was really based on the investigative part of it. We did go out and make arrests when necessary, but we got the cases after the arrest was made most of the time by the police department and we would enhance the case to go to trial for prosecution. So, and yes, my heart, my thoughts, and my prayers go out to the families of all the fallen officers and right now, particularly the ones that lost their lives in trying to get this perpetrated, these two FBI agents. Yes, I mean, it can be a dangerous job, especially when it comes to pornography and things like that.

Sometimes it can be more profitable than drugs and it's heartless. So you're dealing with dangerous criminals, apparently. But from my understanding, you dealt with individual cases, mostly, correct? Yes.

Yes. And with the district attorney's office, after the cases, the perpetrators arrested, the case has to come through the district attorney's office of prosecution. And what I would do was speak with the victims, the witnesses, prepare everything so that the prosecutor can have a strong case at getting justice for the victims. Now, having been a survivor yourself, you were able to decipher, you know, these people, these perpetrators, they can be very manipulative. And you were able to tell what's real from their manipulation, of course, having lived it yourself. And, and you helped these kids in your investigative times speak up, as you did at one point, when did you realize you needed to tell your story? Most of the people I was blessed to have in my life realized before I did actually, it wasn't until after I retired, did I realize that the stories I had written would help other people to learn to process what they had been through. And I find that it rewards me to see that after they read the stories, they understand someone else has been through it, and it gives them a little more comfort in speaking about what actually happened to them. Yes, because, as my understanding, it's not very common that kids that are abused in this way are likely to speak up, they carry with them a lot of guilt and a lot of shame.

And I happen to know that from firsthand experience. A lot of us tell our stories for the first time as adults. And in the meantime, it's, it's, we have to deal with these things.

And I think it's very important that we have to deal with the abuse. And so how were you able to deal with your abuse and misguided interpretation of love? I wrote a lot.

I would take my own quiet time and write, write poetry in regard to all of the experiences I had. Because I was unaware of the after effects of the whole idea. A lot of the decisions I made sexually when it came to when I should have sex, who I should have sex with, when I was very young, or should I even be having sexual intercourse with anyone at a very young age. It, it's confusing. It's confusing, especially if you did not receive the type of help that you should be getting after such an act was committed against you. For me, it misinterpreted the feelings I should have, or what what it should be. You kind of lose, lose the idea of what's appropriate and what's not.

And you tend to self-sabotage as you do a lot of PTSD. But we'll continue talking about this when we return in just a short break. We will be right back with Amy Cabo and The Cure. This show deals with suffering, the tenacity of the human spirit, and the courage to keep moving forward with the help of God. I want people to know that there's hope. I was forced into my abortion because I didn't think I had a choice. I want people to know there's choices. Well, Amy, my heart is breaking.

I just want you to know that I love you and I thank God for you. Amy Cabo and The Cure. The show deals with suffering, the tenacity of the human spirit, and the courage to keep moving forward with the help of God. Every Saturday at 1 Eastern on the Truth Network. we reach neverland peacefully my feet hit the sand and ever since that day i am a lost boy from neverland usually hanging out with peter pan and when we're bored we play in the woods always on the run from captain hook run run lost boy they say to me away from all of reality neverland is home to lost boys like me and lost boys like me are free and now we will continue with amy cabo and the cure welcome back to the cure this is amy cabo thanks for tuning in remember that you can listen to the radio show live through our app the cure with amy cabo or as a podcast just look for god is the cure on any podcast podcast platform the song that just played was lost boys by ruth b lyrics and this is my take we can feel lost in a world full of tales what do we want what do we learn to believe it's easy getting around in a comfort zone we don't want to leave we see what is beautiful it's our nature to hope it's how we get by even lost we still cope there were times we escaped avoiding reality until we found god and found strength in spirituality no captain hook here anymore we learned to stand still we took aim at our goals saw the value in living instead of the thrill well and we're talking about embracing god and survivors with our special guest amanda when surviving from sexual abuse amanda how did you know you could trust someone and to report your abuse to honestly i had no idea uh trust was something i needed to have in order to to talk about it because it wasn't something that was talked about in my family and again i was at such a young age i didn't feel like i was reporting something i was just as a matter of factly uh this is what happened so uh it's not like i knew i needed to trust someone and tell them that story i didn't realize it was a secret because i know that in some cases you tell someone you feel you can trust and that person turns their back on you and either doesn't believe you or blames you did you have any support did you trust the right person and yes in in my case my family members my uh my older sister she did what was supposed to be done immediately and of course as a teenager what she did was tell him not to come back to the home so that was it for me it was such a relieving feeling i could wake up in the morning and walk around the house and not feel like feel like he was going to pull me in a corner or take me to the bathroom and as a family member which he was he was my half brother he he had all the lean way he needed to do what he was doing and no one suspected of course but it was at this point that you realized it was wrong were you able also to realize that it wasn't your fault absolutely it was told to me by by my family that it was not my fault and what he did was wrong so i i felt free and i felt like i can be that child that i needed to be so in that case having experienced what you have what would be your best advice for a young person going through this regardless of whether they have a supportive family like you did or not to any child that is going through sexual abuse the first thing i want them to know is not because someone loves you means they don't have to suffer the consequence of what the wrong that they're doing if someone is doing things to you that that does not feel right speak to your teacher speak to a police officer speak to someone that you know really has your best interest at heart don't stay silent the only way you can free yourself from this abuse is by speaking about it to everyone that would listen and don't necessarily give up because one person doesn't believe you it doesn't mean the next person will not also there will be someone that believes you never never will believe you never never quit trying there's always someone that's willing to help absolutely absolutely let me ask you something amanda so these type of crimes are are difficult to prosecute right compared to like a standard theft or murder murder um each case each type of case uh each individual case has its own difficulties i won't say that these types of cases are hard to prosecute once the evidence is there the case is prosecutable yeah it depends yeah but seems that it's not like a priority maybe my my perception is wrong but seems like certain das just don't care about those type of crimes that is absolutely not true oh if these types of crimes are are very important all crimes are important to the da's office what what i find the issue is it's that it's that not very many people are coming forward okay because the problem is getting the child to feel that they can trust someone already their trust is broken by having this crime committed against them right getting the child to trust someone enough to tell the whole story and again this is why i wrote the book i wrote because i want i wanted other victims to feel comfortable to say exactly what's happening to them when they're able to verbalize this the at the act of prosecuting the case is even stronger but there's such a stigma and a taboo about child sexual abuse that we need to bring awareness of it awareness is a form of prevention prevention if we're making everyone aware of what's happening and how it's happening is who the abusers can be and who the victims are if we're bringing that type of awareness to the public yeah and and also kids don't lie about these things another child kids don't lie about these things and also kids don't lie about these things kids would not want to lie about these things it just doesn't make sense i would get i would assume that most kids are believed i mean in my case it took five years and my mother had a hold of the media and uh manipulated the police and even though i had evidence and he was considered you know guilty um eventually five years later the kids were returned it can fall through loopholes but i hope times have changed anyway we will continue talking about god's saving grace in our lives even after our views we'd love to hear from you call us with your question or comments 1-866-3434 whoever calls us today will receive a free copy of amy's book love is the answer got is the cure we will be right back with amy cavo and the cure loving and fighting accusing and i i can't imagine a world with you gone the joy and the chaos the demons were made up i'd be so lost if you left me alone you locked yourself in the bathroom lying on the floor when i break through i pull you in to feel your heartbeat can you hear me screaming please don't leave me hold on i still want you come back i still need you you let me take your head i'll make you right i swear to love you all my life hold on i still need you and now we will continue with amy cavo and the cure welcome back guys to the cure with amy cavo remember we're live every saturday at 1 p.m eastern on your radio on our app the cure with amy cavo and our website godisacure.com also all shows are available as a video podcast just look for god is the cure with amy cavo or type in god is the cure and the podcast the cure with amy cavo will show up and just subscribe to it to it that song that you just heard was hold on by cord overstreet and this is my take guys the world can be scary we can't imagine our loved ones gone it's god we can't be without we're never alone until he is done we will always need him he loves us and wants us to hold on there is demons and chaos that he'll be the one to whom we can run don't fall for the lies heartache and fighting is hard but god's love is greater open our hearts and we play the right card god never leaves us his truth lives forever lives forever following him we find peace our sight is restored and we're never more clever yep okay so we are discussing the enormous power of god in our lives even when we go through suffering of abuse sexual abuse discussing this with guest amanda the genta janessa and guys still working on that updated version of my book any moment now amanda how can your book i am empower women who have experienced the trauma such as what you've gone through or any other type of trauma as a matter of fact and i am uh i tell of my experiences in almost raw form and i did it that way because i need the victims and survive survivors to feel comfortable speaking the words of what actually happened to them i feel the need to share my awareness and god's presence in my strength as i navigated through the pain and the suffering um so i'm hoping it empowers them to speak up and be able to process all that they've gone through be able to accept the fact that it did happen because the process and acceptance within themselves that this is them now is a very big part of the healing nice and you know you do mention that child sexual abuse does not have the same attention or as much attention as other types of child abuse can you explain that to us it's not that i it doesn't get as much attention i just feel that child sexual abuse shouldn't be lumped into the category of child abuse it is an abuse but it is an ugly it's all ugly but child sexual abuse i feel if it's categorized by its own it it can actually help the victims heal better from my own experiences a child a child sexual abuse victim and being in the presence of other children i know that have suffered from child sexual abuse i know that child abuse where the child has been beaten or unkempt not being fed these are things you can see with the naked eye child sexual abuse you have to take another approach uh you're you have to ask questions you have to dig deeper it's not something easily seen with the eye so i i really me personally i really me personally feel it should be categorized differently yes yeah and i mean either way both both things are are traumatizing to the child but one is just harder to prove there's more of of you know the the abused the victim carries a heavier weight to prove their case i i would i would think yes they all affect all types of abuse affect children especially growth con in in a cognitive sense they carry it for the rest of their lives when it comes to child child sexual abuse the type of evidence you're looking for is usually usually has to do with uh the the private part you know very intimate uh body parts and this the the comfort level of speaking uh child speaking about this is it's very hard unless you've been talking to your child from a very young age on identifying body parts and learn teaching them when that discomfort comes that they need to speak up unless you've been doing that it's hard to get a child to talk about something like sexual abuse and molestation and the questioning and the examination process can be more difficult as well when it deals with situations of private areas because it's something that we're more guarded about um so if you're not a professional investigating child abuse what's the best way to identify a child who's been sexually abused maybe in their behavior age group it yeah it's it for each age group it's different i know for sure when a child is uh secluded and withdrawn uh cries a lot don't want to go to a person's home or be with a person alone they're crying we need to ask questions we need to know why is this child crying uh a lot of times there's nervousness they usually get very quiet you'll find that a child is regressed showing regressive behaviors uh if they were potty trained already now you find that they're they're they regress into doing things like uh not using the potty like they were trained to or wetting the bed when they have already stopped wetting the bed um there are so many different signs that we need to pay attention to i mean it's important that we have conversations with the children i mean there's there's schooling can suffer obviously in their social interactions but also maybe paying attention to what they're writing what's in their diary what they're what they're sharing or what they're drawing is it inappropriate do they know too much about sexual matters at their early age are they are they sexually comfortable yes especially around adults or a particular adult are they spending too much time with one particular adult um do they crave attention right just one particular adult and actually you'd find the abusers showing those type of signs that they're paying attention to one particular child buying that child's special gift there's no reason why an adult would want to be with one kid all day long there's just no reason for one kid all the time usually one kid all the time usually adult likes likes kids equally and there's a difference between adult behavior and too much closeness so yeah you're right you make a very good point um i mean loving someone is not a sign of is is not a sign of being uh a sexual abuser um but we this is where teaching the children the difference between the good touch and the bad touch comes in because we don't want to uh blame someone for child sexual abuse because they care a lot about a child we want to be fair we want to do as much as we can to teach the children about the bad touch the body part so that when something bad is happening they feel comfortable enough to come to us the adults and let us know well and i don't know if this is good advice but ironically our mother warned us about sitting on men's laps that even though it was my stepfather that abused me but we were told never to sit on a man's laps there's no reason to sit on a man's laps i remember somebody says i like it when kids sit on my lap so i don't know about that anyway we would love to hear from you we must pay attention yep call us with your story of survival or with your comments 1-866-3434 we will be right back with amy cabell and the cure i will stay i will stay with you we'll make it to the other side like lovers do i'll reach my hands out in the dark and wait for yours to enter like i'll wait for you i'll wait for you so even when i'm down at my last six feet at all times you know ain't nobody else and now we will continue with amy cabo and the cure hi again and thanks for tuning in to the cure with amy cabo remember we're live every saturday at 1 p.m eastern on your radio on our app the cure with amy cabo and social media just look for god is a cure and she was amy by the way the latest show the show will be available as a podcast just search for the cure with amy cabo now amy is with an i and a double e or type in god is the cure also she has a shirt with her name there you are and the podcast the cure with amy cabo will show up that awesome song that just played was don't give up on me by andy grammar i swear god plays that for me all the time yeah but you know here's my take guys god will fight for us if it's a struggle he will never give in he will love us and guide us so we no longer care about sin he reaches his hand into the darkness and will do anything to help us come true come through he's patiently waiting to him we're everything even when we have lost hope and feel that we've tried it all he's always available not giving up ready to pick up the pieces and catch every fall let's not give up on him in us god always believes he gave his all from his divine love we are his joy for which he still grieves this is nice so you guys are talking to one point poet to another and so we're going to continue talking with our special guest guys amanda janessa showing us the tremendous power of god in our lives and how we can come through and survive sexual abuse amanda you seem very well-rounded and a very happy person very much at peace you must have god in your life or at least have a relationship with him can you share with us some therapeutic methods that can help with the healing process and help with the healing process that can help with the healing process because a lot of us are still struggling i absolutely do have god in my life and i am too still struggling uh but having god in my life has has made it a lot easier um uh i write as a form of therapy uh it i would say to survivors and victims find uh a specialist that that someone that specializes in child sexual abuse or sexual abuse so that you can have an outlet for yourself um i do a lot of research and there are agencies out there that they can reach out to there is the rain which is rape abuse and incest national network and their telephone number is one eight hundred six five six hope one eight hundred six five six four six seven three and just to let the audience know i don't have any personal ties with the agencies that i'm giving i just know from my own research that they work with victims and survivors then there is the darkness to light organization uh via telephone numbers one eight six six four light or you can text light l i g h t to seven four one seven four one so the the praying and the talking the writing the research getting re uh doing your own research it all helps you to process and heal i mean we'd be surprised what having somebody who's willing to listen and have compassion can do for us um also what was helpful to me was was praying and and praying and and reading god's word and believing in him you know having faith you know enough to be like christ and try to try to copy him as much as i can and do the right thing because god only taught us things that would bring about peace and the more that you emulate god the more of a peaceful life you live regardless of what struggles you're constantly going through because that's life one big struggle and but the good thing is is that there's peaceful happy moments too so we take the good with the bad and also there is therapy you can attend to a therapy with a professional support groups yes support groups are very nice because it's people that really understand and especially when it's difficult to be a survivor in a world that there could be so many stigmas and it's something that we all have to go through that we all have to overcome for example i remember speaking to one of the people that i really cared about in my case and i was excited to tell her that i was pregnant again with my husband of over 20 years now but back then i was excited to tell her i was pregnant again with one of my teenagers now and she goes oh no not another kid um so and also i remember reading a psychiatric report when my case first started back when i was 15 where a psychiatrist said there was no hope for me and if only these two people knew that i'm happily married i have a good relationship with god i graduated with a bachelor's and i have been successful in every area of life and according to them there'd be no success for me there was supposed to be no hope and i'm proof there is what kind of stigmas have you had to deal with amanda oh well there was a short stint there was a short stint of promiscuity in my life so being uh called uh a whore or even um you know it's it's hard uh being a high school dropout i was a high school dropout being pregnant at an early age all of these things were the the after effects of the child abuse that had me making these bad decisions and making these bad decisions caused people to label me uh very unpleasant names that caused people to judge me and here i am today uh my kids are grown and successful and what they're they've chosen in life i myself have had a very successful career and god has has a lot to do with that so um i love who i am i appreciate me you know what i'm doing today i went through those things also on society or circumstances give you the script and sometimes we feel we have to play the role and we get cut off and a little bit of self-salvage we're okay with being there for others but never for ourselves and in fact we make it worse for ourselves um just because deep down inside we don't have a lot of love for ourselves and we learn to love ourselves eventually i did when i accepted that and i accepted that i wasn't too bad of a person for god to love me when i realized that god loves us unconditionally that broken or not god will take us in and give us new life and our past will not matter and our past does not have to define us and we don't have to keep doing things that are not healthy we could start new we could start fresh we could rewrite that script for ourselves yes absolutely and there is no no when god is in your life yes and some of us take longer than others that's the truth yes yes absolutely it took me forever that's okay everything in god's time amy everything in god's time little by little anyhow guys we've reached the end of the show and i want to have time for the prayer so thank you so much amanda jenness thank you so much for being with us today you're a beautiful person and you had a lot of great things to share thank you i hope that it's been helpful to many more information on amanda having me oh thank you more information on amanda the genesis can be found on her website i dash am dash a nda.com check her book i am and we can finish with a prayer like we always do dear god your love surrounds me when my thoughts which were when my thoughts which were when night screams terror there your voice will roar come death or shadow god i know your light will meet me there when fear comes knocking there you'll be my guard when day breeds trouble there you'll hold my heart come storm or battle god i know your peace will meet me there again and again oh be still my heart i know that you are god and i want to add and our father in jesus name amen amen amen so thank you to our audio producer beth ann the truth protector amazing being who is always with us it makes it possible for this show to sound awesome by making the music work and thanks to the christian car guy robbie dillmore for answering my calls and his continuing guidance all along check out his shows awesome guy like no other and thanks to kim spears who was today too thank you to the truth network for having us in their network and all the radios that carry our product including series xm channel 131 this is amy cabin you have been listening to the cure and until next saturday be kind give it your best stay safe and know that this too shall pass thank you for listening to the care with amy cabo for more information or to get amy's book love is the answer god is the cure or to listen to the podcast of previous shows visit godisthecure.com