Three Decisions of a God-Glorifying Marriage

The Christian Worldview with host David Wheaton will begin in less than 60 seconds.

The Christian Worldview is a weekly, one-hour, listener-supported radio program that aims to sharpen the biblical worldview of Christians and share the good news of Jesus Christ with those who don't know Him. You can receive our free weekly email, annual print letter, and current resources by visiting our website, thechristianworldview.org. Or you can call us toll-free at 1-888-646-2233. Or write to us at Box 401, Excelsior, Minnesota, 55331. That's Box 401, Excelsior, Minnesota, 55331.

Or toll-free, 1-888-646-2233. Want to be a stronger and more effective follower of Jesus Christ? The Christian Worldview starts right now.

Three decisions for a God-glorifying marriage. That is the topic we'll discuss today right here on the Christian Worldview radio program, where the mission is to sharpen the biblical worldview of Christians and to share the good news that all people can be reconciled to God through faith in Jesus Christ. I'm David Wheaton, the host of the program, and our website is thechristianworldview.org. I'm so glad you joined us today in the program for another edition of the Christian Worldview, and just returned from the Shepherd's Conference. I guess it was late Sunday night of this week, and just had another wonderful time of growth and fellowship at that conference.

Nearly, I think, 4,500 men from all over the world came to that conference, and the preaching was great. We're going to get into some of those messages, not today, but probably next week and in the coming week, coming weeks on the program. We have been preparing for a marriage event that I'm going to be speaking at today and tomorrow, and so there's a lot of prep for that going on this week. So I thought it might be best to actually focus on that topic this week, since it's so fresh in the mind. And as we go in the coming weeks, we'll get to the Shepherd's Conference, and there's a lot to talk about there as well. Probably some of you heard about a little bit of controversy that took on there in the Q&A session out there, where the topic of social justice came up. And we'll play some of the audio of that in the coming weeks, and it was an interesting moment at that conference to hear where some of the different pastors, preachers stood on that issue.

But that's in future weeks. This week, we're going to talk about three decisions for a God-glorifying marriage. Now, the one-man, one-woman, lifelong covenant of marriage is the first human institution that God established, right there in Genesis 1 and 2. And not only that, but the relational aspect of marriage, that actually reflects the relationship that exists within the Trinity, Father, Son, and Spirit. There's relationship there, and the marriage reflects that.

It's not good for man to be alone, the Bible says. The Bible also says that marriage is a model of Christ and His bride, which is the church. I mean, these are mega-truths of Scripture, ones that can be just almost beyond understanding, and they have just such far-reaching ramifications, and they highlight just how important marriage is to God and should be to us. But the reality is, not only does the design of marriage, the way God designed it, go back to Adam and Eve, but also the core struggle within every marriage. And that core struggle is our sin nature that wants what we want and resists what God says. And this is why there is so much conflict in marriage and divorce today.

But it doesn't have to be that way. The God who designed marriage gives principles, but not only that, He also gives the power to have a marriage for His glory and our good. So that's what we're going to discuss today, and the program is three decisions that set the course for a God-glorifying marriage. And I mentioned that early passage in Genesis, where the only perfect marriage, who knows how long it lasted, but it wasn't very long before they sinned, where the consequences of their sin was meted out by God when He said to Eve in Genesis 3 16, He said, I will greatly multiply your pain in childbirth, in pain you will bring forth children, yet your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you. This is really the core struggle here, that the design of husband-headship and wife-submission is going to be easily inverted. That's going to be the tendency. And so the wife's going to resist God's establishing this headship, or at the same rate, the husband's going to take one of two roads.

The natural tendency is to be domineering or demeuring, letting the wife lead. So this is going to be the conflict that's going to take place, the temptation in marriage going forward. And then the Adam said, because you've listened to the voice of your wife, you have eaten from the tree, by which I commend you, saying you shall not eat from it. Cursed is the ground because of you. In toil you will eat of it all the days of your life. So everyone who has a garden or a yard knows this is the case. There's always weeds and thistles growing up in those kinds of situations. But not only would work become harder, but so would marriage as well become so much harder.

So what are the foundations? As we talk about the foundation of a God-glorifying marriage, I think that the term great marriage is not necessarily the best term, because great marriage, when you say great marriage, that's really a perception of the two people, or at least one person, involved in the marriage. And that's just a personal perception. But when you talk about marriage, that's subjective.

I think we want to look at, when we look at marriage, we want to look at a more objective perception. That's what God says. It's more, is the marriage glorifying to God? Is it one that follows his purpose and his plan? Because following his plan, he's going to follow his purpose and his plan. Because following his purpose and his plan always turns out for his glory, but it always turns out for our good as well. Even if we don't think it's going to turn out for our good, it does, because God has our good in his sights.

So the foundation of a God-glorifying marriage, I think, comes down to three decisions that everyone within a marriage can make. The first decision is, will I believe in Christ? That has to do with salvation, justification. Will I believe in Christ? Will I put my faith in Christ?

Am I going to be saved? Question number two is, will I become like Christ? Will I pursue Christ? Will I pursue Christ's likeness? In other words, will I be sanctified? And question number three is, will I obey Christ?

Will I trust him at his word? I think those three questions, if you answer those questions within your marriage and your life, will I believe in Christ? Will I be saved? Will I become like Christ? Will I be sanctified? And will I obey Christ?

Will I pursue him and trust him at his word? Those three things are decided in the correct way. And that sets you up to have a God-glorifying marriage.

I think it's very interesting. There is a plethora of books on marriage. I mean, you go to a Christian bookstore and they're just everywhere, you know, seven tips to, you know, better marriage and so forth and so on. There's so many books on marriage. But interestingly, the Bible, which is the one book that perfectly addresses marriage, doesn't contain actually that much explicit, let's say, how-tos on marriage. I mean, for sure, the early chapters of Genesis, as we just read earlier, define marriage and show the design for it. And Proverbs talks about the character of a godly man and an excellent wife in Proverbs 31. And of course, there are examples of good and bad marriages all throughout Scripture. You know, there's all kinds of those. But as you get to the New Testament, you would think for such an important issue that there would be maybe a whole book of the Bible devoted to it, you know, how to have a God-glorifying marriage.

But really, it's not that way. There's about three passages, maybe four in the New Testament, 1 Corinthians 7, Ephesians 5, and 1 Peter 3, that really directly address it. Not in long passages, but you know, 10-15 verses here and there, with very few principles given. So one of them, as I mentioned, is 1 Corinthians 7. It's a whole chapter. I'm not going to read the whole thing.

I'm just going to read the first paragraph or so, and then the last couple of sentences of it, because it gives some of these foundations. So it says in 1 Corinthians 7, it starts out by saying, it is good for a man not to touch a woman. In other words, Paul's saying to the Corinthian church, it's good to be single. Keep in mind, he's writing to the Corinthian church, which is in disarray.

It has a worldly congregation. They're overlooking grievous sin in their midst. There's immorality and divorce. Marriage, the idea of marriage, is totally misunderstood. I mean, does this sound familiar with what marriage is like today?

So Paul spells out some basics in this chapter, 1 Corinthians 7. He says it's good for a man not to touch a woman, in other words, to be single. But because of immorality, each man is to have his own wife, and each woman is to have her own husband. The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.

Stop depriving one another. This has to do with a sexual union within marriage, except by agreement for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer and come together again, so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. So he starts out this chapter talking about the question of, well, is it better to be single or married?

And the answer is both. Yeah, singleness is preferred, because you can devote yourself totally to the Lord, but if you don't have the gift, the calling of singleness, it's great to be married as well. And he says if you are married, don't deprive one another. Just have a regular, give yourself to each other within marriage, so you're not tempted from the outside.

So that's how he starts out the chapter. And then he gets into divorce, and he raises the the sticky issues of what should I do if I'm married to a non-believer? And I won't get into that today, but basically he says, you know, don't get divorced because of that. Stay in the marriage. There's a sanctifying dynamic within a marriage where there's a non-believer and there's a believer, and it impacts your children as well.

So I won't get into that. But then he closes this chapter in 1 Corinthians 7 by saying, A wife is bound as long as her husband lives, but if her husband is dead, she is free to be married, or remarried, to whom she wishes. And then there's these four words, only in the Lord. This is a very key little phrase in Scripture when it comes to marriage. In the Lord.

That is the foundation of a God-glorifying marriage. To be in the Lord means to be saved, or born again, or a believer, or regenerated. That's what being in the Lord means.

It means adopted into God's family. We all come into the world dead in our trespasses and sins, but when we repent of our sins and put our faith in what Jesus did for us on the cross, on the cross dying for our sin, paying the penalty for our sin, the penal substitutionary atonement of Christ, then God promises to forgive us and to regenerate us, make us new, create a new creation, to make us reconcile us to Him. And that's what it means to be in the Lord. And this was Christ's first command as He started ministry in Mark 1-15. He said, Repent and believe in the Lord. In other words, you're not in the Lord when you're born.

You need to get into the Lord through repentance and faith. And so this command by Paul in 1 Corinthians 7 is really the same thing. It's saying, yeah, if your husband dies, you're free to remarry, but only marry another believer. So why is this? Because so often you see today that, and it's so easy, I think, to get into a marriage with someone who is not a fellow believer. So why is this so important?

Well, first of all, the first one is sort of obvious. It dishonors God. It disobeys what He just said in His word. And it expands upon this concept of marrying only someone in the Lord in 2 Corinthians 6-14, where it says, Don't be bound together, or the King James puts it, don't be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness, or what harmony has Christ with Belial, or what has a believer in common with an unbeliever? Now, this sounds harsh to non-believing ears for people to think of, wait now, I'm not a son of Belial.

I'm not in darkness. Well, in God's estimation, there are two kinds of people in the world. There are those who are His own children who have come to saving faith, and there are those who have not. They're dead in their trespasses and sins, and it makes all the difference in marriage.

We'll come back and talk more after this on the Christian worldview. I think the greatest sin in the world is bringing children into the world that have disease from their parents, that have no chance in the world to be a human being practically, delinquents, prisoners, all sorts of things, just mark when they're born. That's Margaret Sanger, founder of Planned Parenthood.

We ought to never become indifferent to the slaughter of the innocents taking place in our country. This is why we are offering a DVD series entitled, Life is Best, that will equip you to stand for life and against this injustice. In this two DVD set are 13 episodes that address all the facets of abortion, from the worldview battle to what you can do. For a limited time, you can order the Life is Best DVD series for a donation of any amount to the Christian worldview.

Normal retail is $49 plus shipping. Go to thechristianworldview.org or call 1-888-646-2233 or write to box 401, Excelsior, Minnesota 55331. The mission of the Christian worldview is to sharpen the biblical worldview of Christians and to share the good news that all people can be reconciled to God through Jesus Christ.

For when Christians have a stronger faith and when unbelievers come to saving faith, lives and families and churches, even communities, are changed for the glory of God. The Christian worldview is a listener supported ministry. You can help us in our mission to impact hearts and minds by making a donation of any amount or becoming a monthly partner.

All donations are tax deductible. You can give online at thechristianworldview.org or by calling us toll free 1-888-646-2233. When you give, we'd like to thank you by sending you a current resource.

Monthly partners can choose to receive resources throughout the year. Call 1-888-646-2233 or go to thechristianworldview.org. Thank you for your support. The Christian worldview is a one-hour listener supported radio program that aims to sharpen the biblical worldview of believers and proclaim the good news of Jesus Christ to those who don't know him. We strive with you to think biblically and live accordingly. You can hear past programs, sign up for our weekly email and annual print letter and receive our current offers by visiting our website thechristianworldview.org. You can also call us toll free at 1-888-646-2233 or write to us at Box 401 Excelsior, Minnesota 55331.

That's Box 401 Excelsior, Minnesota 55331 or toll free 1-888-646-2233. And welcome back to the Christian worldview radio program. I'm David Wheaton, the host. Our website is thechristianworldview.org.

Just an encouragement to go there. We have a lot going on right now, a lot of resources available that we've been covering recently on the program from the Life is Best DVD series. That's 13 episodes for a donation of any amount.

That retails actually for $49 and so this is something to take advantage of. That's on abortion and making a great biblical apologetic for the pro-life cause. Also a couple other ones on environmentalism, the climate change and the Christian DVD is there and the Consequences of Christ Crosswork booklet is available as well.

And you can sign up for our free weekly email which I would encourage you to do because when you do that you will receive the audio every week from the program and our new element to the Christian worldview, the short takes which are highlights, little snippets every week of the highlights of the program so to speak. And also we're excited about something in the planning stages right now. We don't have exact dates for it but as you probably know we've done conferences in the past. We're not going to do a conference this year. We do have our golf and dinner event still on in September 16th that you're invited to.

We'll get more into that as we get into the spring but we are planning a new element this year and we're working on it right now so I want to tell you about it just so you have a chance to think about it and so when we officially announce it, Lord willing, you'll already know about it. We're calling it the Christian worldview speaker series and these are going to be not conferences but just a short one-night session on a topic that a recent guest in the program has done. So we'll take some of our best guests like one at a time and we'll have a one-night session maybe like seven to eight thirty or something on an evening and then have this recent guest in the program speak on a topic let's say on social justice or something like that followed by a Q&A and they're just going to be open to listeners and these will be just a way to sharpen the biblical worldview of folks.

We're going to hold them of course in our home area here in the Twin Cities but of course anyone's welcome to come and so we'll be announcing hopefully these coming up as we work on dates and locations for these in the Twin Cities area. The Christian worldview speaker series we're calling it but today in the program we're talking about three decisions for a God-glorifying marriage and the first decision is will I believe in Christ? In other words will I become a follower of Jesus? Will I be saved? And 1st Corinthians 7 says that you can marry but make sure you marry in the Lord. In other words marry a fellow believer.

And why? We're talking about why is this important before the break? Well the first thing is it's if you don't it dishonors God and that that we looked at that passage in 2nd Corinthians 6 the unequal yoke that was the idea of two different kinds of animals trying to plow a field. It doesn't work to put an ox and a donkey together on a yoke there is an unequal yoke they're not the same size though they won't pull a straight furrow in the field but when you put two ox and two of the same kind together now you have union and you that you're going to be able to have peace and harmony in in the home and I was mentioning that God divides the whole world into his children and children of Satan and that sounds harsh but look what it says in Ephesians chapter 2 it says and you were dead this is before someone comes to saving faith and you were dead in your trespasses and sins in which you formally walked according to the course of this world notice into this according to the prince of the power of the air that's Satan of the spirit that is now working in the sons of disobedience among them we too all formerly lived in the lusts of our flesh indulging the desires of the flesh of the mind and we're by nature children of wrath even as the rest that really speaks so clearly to the fact that everyone is either one a person is either a child of God or they're a child of Satan even if they don't realize it if you're not a child of God you're really under Satan's control maybe not even realizing but the name the next verse is the good news but God being rich in mercy because of his great love with which he loved us even when we were dead in our transgressions made us alive together with Christ so that's the first reason why it's important to marry in the Lord because if you don't it dishonors God and if you do it honors God it obeys God to be equally yoked with someone else the second reason it's important to do this is I kind of stated it implicitly in the first answer they're talking about the unequal yoke is that it just makes marriage so much harder and think of all the the time that Paul was spending in first Corinthians 7 we didn't read it but talking about if you're married to a non-believer don't get divorced in other words inherent in those kinds of relationships are going to be much more relational problems because you're unequal yoked you don't have the same mind you don't have the same worldview you may you may share you may share some common interests I mean believers marry non-believers all the time but it's not God's design marry in the Lord you've probably heard it been said that the most important decision in life is to follow Christ and that that's absolutely the case but the second is marry the right person and the right person for the Christian is another person who is quote in in the Lord you know compatibility is important in marriage whether having shared interests and values and or similar backgrounds or whatever but the spiritual compatibility this this equal yoke of marrying in the Lord together this is by far number one when it comes down to the foundation of a of a God glorifying marriage this is of utmost importance I would just say for parents out there who are listening who have kids in the home teach this to your kids preach it to yourself and teach it to your kids because as James says we have an adversary out there your adversary the devil prowls about like a roaring lion seeking someone to devour and the primary way Satan devours someone is through diverting them in one of these two ways from from salvation by trying to steal the seed that's sown by the sower for someone to be saved trying to divert and distract you away from coming to saving faith and or keeping them from marrying someone else in the Lord those are the those are the two big decisions in life and Satan works hard to try to devour us in those in those case that that as I look back my own life that has been absolutely the case with me even though growing up in a Christian home and making a profession of faith early and Satan tried to destroy me in my teens in my early 20s and there he made some headway I will say that and then when it came to marriage same thing there were several other you know girls that came into my life you know and they there were attractive qualities about them they weren't necessarily bad people so to speak you know they didn't have horns coming out of their head and you know children of Satan and so forth they were attractive or intelligent and similar values and sense of humor some of them even religious but they weren't regenerated at least most of them weren't regenerated and I really believe that that Satan because he knows how important marriage is that he works overtime to destroy a believer by having that believer marry an unbeliever not marry in the Lord so that that's the first point and the foundation of a God-honoring marriage the decision to believe in Christ now the second decision of a God-glorifying marriage is will I become like Christ will I pursue Christ in other words will I be sanctified once saved will I pursue sanctification and there's sort of an irony here because the key to building a great marriage or a God-glorifying marriage is not focusing on building a great marriage you know it's not having you know regular date nights or taking vacations or writing love letters or bringing home flowers or renewing your vows or watching your wedding video every year on your anniversary or it's not even attending a marriage retreat I mean those are all good things nothing wrong with any of them but far more foundational than any of those external things is what's taking place inside your heart on a daily basis you know are you as a individual and as a couple pursuing Christ-likeness in other words are you pursuing holiness in your own life this is that's the purpose of the Christian life and purpose of marriage Romans 8 29 for whom God foreknew he also predestined to become conformed to the image of his son conformity to Christ is the point of the Christian life I remember Brody and I went to marriage counseling at the church where we were married they required it and so we went to that and I'll never forget what the the pastor Fred told us and unfortunately he's gone home to be with the Lord but he really gave us a wonderful piece of advice there that I had never thought of before and many of you probably heard this but it's the analogy of the triangle if if God or Christ is at the top of the triangle and and the man is at the bottom left the woman's in the bottom right the the way to have a God glorifying marriage is not to focus on your focus on your marriage so to speak don't be looking at each other but look be looking up the legs of that triangle to the the tip at the top where Christ is in other words set your minds on things above and as you're growing closer to Christ and going up there's also a a side benefit going on you're also growing closer to your spouse and that is that that analogy stuck with me and I think it's a very good one I mean just imagine if you were just like Christ with his degree of holiness and character and then you married in the Lord I mean do you think you'd have a God glorifying marriage absolutely it's the character of each member of a marriage this the the level of sanctification that allows to have a a God glorifying marriage so this is a lifelong pursuit this is not something that you know you go to a marriage event or you know you read the Bible once in a while this is a lifelong pursuit of sanctification it's the most important pursuit for the Christian it's being in the word alone and together with your spouse it's praying alone and together it's hearing the word preached sound preaching of the word alone and together it's it's sharing your faith alone and together it's being engaged in a body of believers in that case probably together you know sanctify Christians are as you become more sanctified set apart for God's use you're filled and controlled and empowered by the Holy Spirit and people who are like that they they rarely create conflict they they forgive when wrong they're faithful to their spouses I'm not saying they're perfect but there's just a much higher probability that those kinds of people think of others over themselves and if their spouse is doing the same thing well they're going to have a great marriage all right we'll come back we'll open up the phone lines we have a one more decision to get to so stay tuned much more coming up on the Christian worldview today as we talk about three decisions for a God glorifying marriage back after this I'm David Wheaton environmental scare mongering is the favored tactic of the left to gain massive government control after all if you can convince people that we are imperiling our very existence by human caused climate change there is no tax law or reordering of society that goes too far Christians need to be fully informed of this nefarious climate change scheme and that's why we're here today to talk about environmental scare mongering and how we can be fully informed of this nefarious climate change scheme that is why we are offering two resources by Cal Beisner founder of the Cornwall Alliance for the Stewardship of Creation who brings a truthful biblical worldview to this issue climate change in the Christian is an 80 minute DVD message and the cosmic consequences of Christ's crosswork is a 15 page booklet one or both are available for a donation of any amount to the Christian worldview to order go to the org or call one triple eight six four six twenty two thirty three or write to box four zero one excelsior minnesota five five three three one be sure to take advantage of two free resources that will keep you informed and sharpen your world view the first is the Christian worldview weekly email which comes to your inbox each Friday it contains a preview of the upcoming radio program along with need to read articles featured resources special events and audio of the previous program the second is the Christian worldview annual print letter which is delivered to your mailbox in November it contains a year-end letter from host David Wheaton and a listing of our store items including DVDs books children's materials and more you can sign up for the weekly email and annual print letter by visiting the Christian worldview.org or calling one triple eight six four six twenty two thirty three your email and mailing address will never be shared and you can unsubscribe at any time call one triple eight six four six twenty two thirty three or visit the Christian worldview.org the Christian worldview is a one-hour listener supported radio program that aims to sharpen the biblical worldview of believers and proclaim the good news of Jesus Christ to those who don't know him we strive with you to think biblically and live accordingly you can hear past programs sign up for our weekly email and annual print letter and receive our current offers by visiting our website the Christian worldview.org you can also call us toll-free at one triple eight six four six twenty two thirty three or write to us at box four zero one excelsior minnesota five five three three one that's box four zero one excelsior minnesota five five three three one or toll-free one triple eight six four six twenty two thirty three three decisions for a god-glorifying marriage that's the topic we're discussing today here on the Christian Real View radio program I'm David Wheaton the host our website is the Christian worldview.org we've gone over two of them we have one more to get to we're going to open the phone lines as well so the first two decisions that lead to a god-glorifying marriage is number one will I believe in Christ will I will I become saved and that that's so important because when you're saved God gives you the Holy Spirit to be able to live out his word you just can't do it without him to live out his word you just can't do it on your own you need a supernatural power inside of you to do what you can't do on your own and overcome temptation everything else to be Christ-centered instead of self-centered that's so key in marriage so will I believe in Christ that's the first one will I be saved second decision is will I pursue Christ will I become like him will I strive to become be conformed to him Romans 8 and that's so critical because that that's the point of increasing holiness in your life and in character development and then when you have those that character development well that's going to manifest itself in the way you relate to your husband or wife and so I'll open up the phone lines now and with a couple questions for today and then I'm going to get to the third decision just a second here so the questions to consider and if you have a have a comment on this you can call us at our toll-free studio line I wrote down three questions how is a or how about this one contrast God's purpose for marriage as we've been discussing with our society purpose our society's purpose for marriage or how is a great marriage portrayed in our society today contrast to what how our society produced displays or or portrays a great marriage as to how what God says a great marriage should be um is there more conflict in marriage and divorce now and if so why now I know the obvious answer that well of course there is so there's never been more divorce in America but you look in scripture and there was all kinds of divorce going on in in the old testament they would divorce their wives for any reason burn a meal and divorce them it goes back to the time of Moses and so forth so this is nothing new where there's marital conflict is there more conflict in marriage and divorce now let's say in America and if so why do you think that is and what advice would you give couples to have a a God glorifying marriage so those are the three questions I contrast God's purpose for marriage with how society portrays a great marriage is there more conflict in marriage and divorce now uh in divorce now and so why and what advice would you give couples to have a God glorifying marriage the studio number is one eight seven seven six five five sixty seven fifty five that's one eight seven seven six five five sixty seven fifty five if you're not a caller you can always email us your feedback feedback is the email address feedback at thechristianworldview.org now while Bobby's going to get some of you up on the call screening board I want to take just five more minutes to get to this last point of a three decisions for a a God glorifying marriage now we talk about the foundation being saved and sanctified well the third decision has to do with some fundamentals and fundamentals are so important in everything in life if you can't execute the fundamentals you're not going to be able to uh you know do what you need to do whether in sports or in business or anything so the fundamentals of marriage are are given in the first 11 and actually not the first 11 in 11 verses in Ephesians chapter 5 and he's he's writing to Christians in the town of Ephesus uh in these the first three chapters of that book he grounds them in sound doctrine and then in the next three chapters the last three chapters he explains how that doctrine applies to practical living and one of those practical ways of living is marriage and so he gives the the fundamentals of a a God glorifying marriage in Ephesians 5 starting in verse 22 where he says wives is a message to a wife and a message to a husband here first one comes to the wife be subject to your own husbands as to the Lord for the husband is the head of the wife as Christ also is the head of the church he himself being the savior of the body but as the church is subject to Christ so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything then he goes on to say in verse 25 husbands here's the fundamental for the for the husband love your wives just as Christ also loved the church and gave himself up for her so that he might sanctify her having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word that he might present to himself the church in all her glory having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing but that she would be holy and blameless so husbands ought all able ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies he who loves his own wife loves himself for no one ever hated his own flesh but he nourishes it and cherishes it just as Christ also does the church because we are members of his body and he goes on to finish this portion by saying for this reason a man shall leave his father and she'll be joined to his wife and the two shall become one flesh that goes all the way back quoting genesis chapter 2 this mystery is great i'm speaking with reference to Christ in the church nevertheless each of an individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband it's pretty amazing here if you think about it there's just one imperative for wife and one imperative for husband why is there to be subject or be in submission to their husbands and husbands are to love their wives as Christ loves love the church now just as an aside there is one other passage on this in first peter three he basically says the same thing wives be in submission to your subjection to your husband's and husband's love and lead and honor your wife now just as an aside here most of society and i would say an increasingly number of christians would say this this these fundamentals are outdated or or simply a a cultural preference back in biblical times or or in today's world to even utter that a wife should submit to her husband i mean you will be quickly labeled a patriarchal oppressor if you say that i mean try saying that in a college campus or at your place of work sometime but the context makes clear this is not cultural to that day it goes all the way back to creation where it quotes genesis chapter two that's the way god designed it so as for the call for wives to submit or be subject to or respect their husbands this has nothing to do with the value of a woman the capability of a wife the gifting of a wife or her personality has nothing to do with those things it has everything to do with trusting god's perfect design of marriage from the very beginning in the two genders he created so to recoil and horror at this would be to recoil at the way christ submitted himself to his father and all things do you recoil at that when christ said he's in submission to his father well you don't so we shouldn't recoil in horror at this as well in other words is jesus just as valuable is jesus not as valuable or capable or gifted as god well of course he is it's about roles he had a different role than his than his uh than his father so this is also not about rote obedience to an ungodly authority where the husband tells his wife to do something sinful he never should obey that and it's certainly not an excuse for a husband to be domineering so that's the first just not going to go too much more into that today for sake of time but that's the first fundamental for wives to respect revere be in submission to their husbands the second fundamental here is for the husband is to love their wives now you would think that why does it even need to be stated to love your wife isn't that natural to love your wife and you're married to this person after after all well the answer is no it's not natural to to to love your wife it's natural to love yourself to love your own pursuits and to making yourself money and increasing your own position and buying things for yourself and your time your sports your shows on tv that's what's natural in your in your flesh but the command uh for husbands to love their wives is is not followed by a period here it's not just love your wives did you notice what follows it says husbands love your wives it's not just period it's just as christ also loved the church and gave himself up for her so now we're supposed to love our wives as christ loved the church and that's like being told by your parents um okay go get straight a's and uh ace the sa uh sat test uh like your genius older brother did you know it's it's an impossible unattainable standard you were to be told we were being told to love like christ nevertheless this is what husbands need to strive for even if it's unattainable and so this love is manifested in words both expressing love and also an action doing things that show you love your wife it's basically saying as christ gave himself up the church it's basically saying i would even die for you and this takes a kind of decision of the will and an empowerment of the holy spirit uh to love your wife not based on emotions or circumstances the time or whether you find you're attractive anymore or whether the love is even reciprocated it's really the kind of love what god does to save the lost god demonstrates his own love toward us in that while we were yet sinners christ died for us that's the kind of love that we're called husbands are called to love our wives but there's also a so that not only were to love our wives and to be loved like christ but there's a so that like there's a why you ought to do this it says so that he might sanctify her having cleansed her by the washing of the water with the word that he might present to himself the church in all her glory having no spot or wrinkle in any such thing in other words the goal that christ is trying to do with the church is to lead the church to holiness and sanctification that's exactly what why the husband is to love the wife and to lead her in holiness and sanctification to present her to god as christ is going to present his church to god and holiness and sanctification so this means that the husband must take on spiritual leadership in the home as part of this loving his wife it means making time to read and pray and hear and learn and teach the word to his wife and his family it's protecting his wife from anything that would compromise her sanctification and this is a tough one this is a big big calling and it is possible though when we're empowered by the spirit okay there are the three decisions will i believe in christ will i pursue christ and will i obey christ in other words will wives respect their husbands and will husbands love their wives after this break we'll come back take your phone calls at one eight seven seven six five five sixty seven fifty five there's an abundance of resources available in christian bookstores and online but the sad reality is that many of them even some of the most popular do not lead to a sound and strong faith a key aim of the christian worldview is to identify and offer resources that are biblically faithful and deepen your walk with god in our online store we have a wide range of resources for all ages adult and children's books and dvds bibles and devotionals unique gifts and more so browse our store at thechristianworldview.org and find enriching resources for yourself family friends small group or church you can also order by calling our office toll free at one triple eight six four six twenty two thirty three that's one triple eight six four six twenty two thirty three or visit thechristianworldview.org i think the greatest sin in the world is bringing children into the world that have disease from their parents that have no chance in the world to be a human being practically delinquents prisoners all sorts of things just marked when they're born that's margaret sanger founder of planned parenthood we ought to never become indifferent to the slaughter of the innocents taking place in our country this is why we are offering a dvd series entitled life is best that will equip you to stand for life and against this injustice in this two dvd set are 13 episodes that address all the facets of abortion from the world view battle to what you can do for a limited time you can order the life is best dvd series for a donation of any amount to the christian world view normal retail is 49 plus shipping go to thechristianworldview.org or call one triple eight six four six twenty two thirty three or write to box four zero one excelsior minnesota five five three three one the christian world view is a one hour listener supported radio program that aims to sharpen the biblical world view of believers and proclaim the good news of jesus christ to those who don't know him we strive with you to think biblically and live accordingly you can hear past programs sign up for our weekly email and annual print letter and receive our current offers by visiting our website thechristianworldview.org you can also call us toll free at one triple eight six four six twenty two thirty three or write to us at box four zero one excelsior minnesota five five three three one that's box four zero one excelsior minnesota five five three three one or toll free one triple eight six four six twenty two thirty three final segment of the day here on the christian world view radio program as we discuss three decisions for a god-glorifying marriage and you think of the comparisons that scripture uses how it's the first human institution that that god designed it's the relational aspect of marriage reflects the relationship within the trinity and how marriage is designed by god to be the the building block of a of a stable and sound society and you begin to realize just how important marriage is and how serious it is how we need to pursue it in a god-glorifying way we're talking about three decisions today to have a god-glorifying marriage and the three decisions are will i believe in christ in other words will i become a follower of christ that changes everything and then once i once i'm that will i pursue christ will i pursue sanctification that's how we grow closer to him and when we do that and when both spouses are doing that in a marriage they grow closer to each other because they have the character in them to follow the next decision will i obey christ now will i obey his commands for wives will i respect revere and submit to my husband and for husbands will i love my wife as christ loved the church and so those three decisions if you decide those in the right way it's very likely you're going to have a god glorifying marriage now it doesn't mean it's going to be perfect no one had a perfect marriage except adam and eve that didn't last long secondly there's still temptation we still have our sin nature involved there but this gives you the least the chance the opportunity of having a god-glorifying marriage okay let's go to the phone lines let's go first to bob in minneapolis welcome to the christian real view bob what is your question or comment on the subject of marriage hi david i want to know how can you tell if the girl you're interested in is truly saved like i grew up in a godless background asked christ into my life when i was 18 and met a girl at bible school who came from a christian family so to somebody like me she seems like a true christian but when conflict arose in our marriage she got a divorce and of course you know the bible says we shouldn't divorce another fellow christian uh the only grounds for divorce between two christians is for one to have committed an act of sexual immorality so how can you tell if they're truly saved yeah that's a great question bob i'll hang up here and just give you a quick answer on this one this is a great question because this goes back to the first point of how important it is to marry in the lord and i just i'll reiterate it for parents teach your kids the kind of person they should be looking for if they're if they're professing believers teach them the importance of marrying in the lord because again the most important decision you make in life is to follow christ the second is who you marry and who you marry needs to be in the lord so how do you discern whether someone is truly saved is a professing christian versus someone who actually possesses genuine saving faith because lots of people go to church go to christian college profess to be christians um you know many will say to me that as jesus said in matthew chapter seven many will say to me in that day lord lord did we not prophesy in your name and in your name cast out demons and in your name perform many miracles and then i will say to them depart from me you who practice lawlessness i never knew you that is the scariest passage in scripture to to be thinking you're a believer to be talking like it but not be genuinely saved so to answer bob's question i really like the the the single page in in the back of the macarthur study about the answer is this question the character of genuine saving faith and there's two columns here the first column is these are evidences that neither prove nor disprove one's faith so someone can have and he's got verses i won't list the whole thing you don't have time but someone can have visible morality they can be a moral person they can have intellectual knowledge about the bible or about god they can be religiously involved they can go to church and bible studies they can have an active ministry of their own they may be working for a christian ministry they may go on missions trips they can have actually conviction of sin in their own life they may feel badly for the sin in their life they may have assurance of salvation they may totally believe they're saved they may even look back to a time of decision where they went to an event and raised their hand and walked the aisle but those things neither prove nor disprove saving faith now here's the second list these things actually are the fruit or proofs of authentic true believers they have a love for god now these things are harder to put your hands on they're not things you do they're things you are does that person have a love for god uh does that person repent from sin in other words these things are you can find out by what they talk about uh you get some hints as to what they talk about what their heart is as you hear them speaking what they do they'll have genuine humility in their life they'll have a devotion to god's glory rather than their own they'll be a person of regular or continual prayer they'll exhibit selfless love toward others there'll be a separation from the world they won't want to be in the world they won't want to take in what's sinful in the world they'd rather take in what's righteous from the word there will be spiritual growth in their life there will be obedient living this is this is a key one if there's no obedience to god's command or very little obedience if there's more practicing sin than practicing righteousness that's a real concern for someone who professes to follow christ there'll be a hunger for god's word do they want to even read god's word do they want to be in it because that's how we get washed every day when we read his word is there is there a transformed life there are they living their life differently than when they say they had that point of conversion so bob i hope that that answers the question a little bit for you it does come down to the fruit of one life of course god only knows the hearts but i will say that we need to be especially when it comes to marriage extremely discerning as to someone we might be marrying it's not just good enough for someone who goes to church once in a while it's has that person's heart been converted okay let's get to one more call in eric in wichita kansas thanks for calling the christian review your thoughts or questions on this subject of marriage today well my question is this i was married on two different occasions and i've always proclaimed to be a christian and a follower of christ but when i really sit back and evaluated i truly never was so the marriage was never actually formed in the bond of christ i don't think and my main concern is this if i today being that i have turned my life around that i truly feel i am a christian now if i decide to get married again through christ and to have it blessed by christ will i be committing a sin or will i still be allowed into the kingdom of heaven thanks for your call eric that's a really really good question and i think that's tough difficult one for me without knowing you well enough on hearing more on hearing more of your story and hearing uh you know more of your uh situation with the the wives you've been married to to be able to answer that question clearly i'll just say this that when we get married i do believe i do understand the bible to teach that there are some exceptions for divorce which implies remarriage and those exception exceptions are the death of a spouse of course the person can be remarried secondly if there's unrepentant adultery i believe that's a another exception for the bible talks about and the third is the departure of of a spouse uh in other words when one spouse departs and won't return i think there is an exception for that as well so i can't answer your question directly it's a good one maybe write me an email and i can think more about it because we're running out of time here in the program feedback at thechristianworldview.org thank you all for joining us today here on the christian worldview radio program we do live in a changing and challenging world where marriage is under assault but there is one thing and one person we can count on and trust in jesus christ and his word they're the guidebook for marriage they're the guiding light and they're the same yesterday today and forever until next weekend think biblically and live accordingly we hope today's broadcast turned your heart toward god his word and his son to order a cd copy of today's program or sign up for our free weekly email or to find out how you can be reconciled to god through jesus christ go to our website thechristianworldview.org or call us toll free at 1-888-646-2233 the christian worldview is a weekly one-hour radio program that is furnished by the overcomer foundation and is supported by listeners and sponsors request one of our current resources with your donation of any amount go to thechristianworldview.org or call us toll free at 1-888-646-2233 or write to us at box 401 excelsior minnesota 55331 that's box 401 excelsior minnesota 55331 thanks for listening to the christian world view until next time think biblically and live accordingly the best way to stay connected to the christian world view is to sign up for our free weekly email and annual print letter the weekly email is delivered to your inbox each friday and contains the preview for the weekend radio program along with links and resources associated with it upcoming events and the previous week's program are also included the annual print letter is delivered to your mailbox in november and contains a column on a current topic and our catalog of resources both of these free resources will keep you up to date and sharpen your world view to receive the weekly email or the annual print letter go to thechristian world view.org or call us toll free 1-888-646-2233 your email and mailing addresses will never be shared and you can unsubscribe at any time again the number is 1-888-646-2233 or go to thechristian world view.org the christian world view radio program airs live every saturday morning from 8 to 9 a.m central time while some stations tape delay the broadcast at other times throughout the weekend if you missed a segment or an entire program or heard a show that you would like to share with a friend there are plenty of convenient ways to get past programs one simple way is to go to our website thechristianworldview.org and select a show to click and play or download another way is to order an individual cd or become a monthly CD or a podcast on thechristian world view or become a monthly CD subscriber if you're a podcaster search for the christian world view with david wheaton in itunes or your podcasting software if you have any questions just call us toll free at 1-888-646-2233 and we will walk you through all the options and find the one that is best for you that toll-free number again is 1-888-646-2233