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Lessons Learned from Long Marriages

The Christian Perspective / Chris Hughes
The Truth Network Radio
August 19, 2022 8:30 am

Lessons Learned from Long Marriages

The Christian Perspective / Chris Hughes

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August 19, 2022 8:30 am

It is "Family Friday" and Connie Albers and Chris Hughes share stories from their marriages of over 35 years each. Their hope is that the lessons they learned the hard way can help younger couples.


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At the risk fund euros on the hospital Vanguard services are provided by Vanguard advisors, Inc., registered investment hello this is Matt slick from the match looked like podcast right defendant Christian faith and lay out our foundation of the truth of God's word for chosen Truth Network podcasts are starting in just a few seconds. Enjoy it, share it, but most of all, thank you for listening and for choosing The Truth Podcast Network. This is the Truth Network get ready. It's one of America's most important, influential and respected voices on cultural and political issues and apologist Christian political and author. Here is the founder and chairman of the citizen for America foundation, Dr. Chris knew what I know now to make life a marriage but just about everything I like. We were left along the way and today Connie Albert are going to talk about. Lesson learned. In marriage we been both been married for a little while and and I know Connie probably had the perfect marriage but is not always imperfect because I have been involved in it.

I get involved observed about things, but you do it and you prevail welcome to Christian perspective on Friday and today Connie Albert talk about lessons learned and Mary, you and the recently celebrated wedding anniversary so I thought would be fun for us to talk about some of things we learn over the years of being married and having kids in movement and all the things you have done in our lives we talk about parenting her kids in that year. The family expert and I can always learn more about marriage in LA about reading something a week or so ago I thought you know that interesting. There probably people listening to the show might be new to be married 50 years. We can all learn different things in marriage was so much going on our culture today. Connie, one of the things that I think it important for us to realize your good marriage is been redefined.

Don't worry about a get out planet WITH you too much. Got it.

But your marriage has been redefined and that is what marriage is in and what we have to remember is marriage is not an institution of the government marriage was created by God. And when God designed marriage. He intended to be a union for life and and that means God's perfect plan does not include divorce even though that may happen from time to time without giving God's plan for us is blood covenant is intended for marriage to be polite and to be one of the union between one man and one woman, and really Connie really boils down till you get look at the purpose of marriage out of thought about this but is really to glorify God as a couple.

Now I think the longing that we been following my right marriage. You don't always think of it is is a spiritual or a biblical uniting together. But marriage is really also very spiritual and Anda in my marriage. I found it.

Marriage can be a spiritual battle and if if Satan wants to attack us families. I think an area where he can have some of his greatest victories sometime and particularly if he could destroy a marriage between a man and a woman that he's going to affect the children of friends there involved in that marriage and the relationships around as though it really is a spiritual situation. Bob got a whole list Connie but you always have been that me when it comes to marriage.what the rest of my life about that. It opening I have been perfect with it now share some of our stories today, but what are some of the things you think some of the lessons we have learned and what will you learn you and Tom Vallarta marriage might want to share with others angry over something again that we might talk about that marriage is under way. Linda by being another being. Now I need now what we need, like a robot telling him what ever talking real conflict with any little thing that you trail or I think will happen when we get dialed in our marriage been married for 38 years and looking to get married in 11 dating around and get married because I didn't like it.

Mary R. Mike, I'll take going back to let you very Derringer. Therefore, my letter rate Mary Mike okay that I think are nearing long ideas only around and waiting for got me thinking a little humility that keeping a marriage going online and connecting what I'm saying. I'm sorry I hurt you I love you and every car right every now calling all my heart and my blue something that people can live his body that we been alive been jiggling. We come from different backgrounds and we bring that baggage you both of us both.

Both when a book about both the husband and the wife are bringing baggage and your good things and bad things from a life prior to meeting their spouse there bringing into alive together and and you were talking about forgiveness and grace and yet they got the important thing for us to have is we got learn to be very forgiving and to share grace and an inner Connie I know you you Osama Robinette like this before making our first married Jake live as a young married person. I was not always as forgiving as I learned over the years. I was very this show is brought to you by generous Joe's coffee company with the Christian perspective, this is the answer that Christians and conservatives have been looking for a coffee company that gives back causes you care about.

Order your copy today at shop generous Joe' and even subscribe to a subscription coffee plan and never forget the coffee you love for causes you care about in a world crowded with viewpoints of voice recognition after a set I believe this financial problem. Only one voice matters God's at the college of Mid-America and Mid-America seminary. We equip leaders to think for me biblical worldview online for on our Memphis campus. Check out the College of Mid-America and Mid-America Baptist theological and be equipped to like the way walk in the footsteps of Jesus and see the Bible come to life this December into a nationally radio host confounded citizens for America foundation To create a life-changing ship is now. It's one of the world's oldest and most fascinating travel during the faithful from all over the world for thousands of years. Jerusalem's religious clutter explores Christianity's most tragic, the richest fight like a wailing rock dome of the flock with Chris through the winding alleyways of Nasser's own hand to place that I think is very Jewish porches, see firsthand that the events of the Bible took place touring Israel with Dr. Chris Hughes is a travel honesty like new citizens for America and get ready for an unforgettable trip last a lifetime. History was made on one American minute with Bill so he was a Rhodes scholar, before becoming the governor of Arkansas, and that America's 42nd president 1998 he became the second president ever to be impeached. His original name was William Jefferson Blythe the third for this day August 19, 1946 at age 15 he took his stepfather's name. Clinton also on this day August 19, 1785 Thomas Jefferson wrote to a friend he who permits himself to tell lies was much easier to do a second and 1/3 time to LeBlanc becomes individual. This falsehood of the tongue to that of the heart of America for free transfer of 1888 USA. Today we world and are married life in unison and maybe bringing things into our laws from the world. Got a laugh but not really a lot better you make in lifting your a lot of marriages today that becomes a big issue duly because the upper down the one about which way the toilet tissue is rolled on or off of the roller you got, you hundreds of people will get comfortable. Did you put a little more about the roller. I don't really care for the week based on the dear, I bet everything now I think I thought it would've been the other way here and I thought he would've been the wind of all the rules about their mirrored what I want him there was maybe always get the popcorn picking a good argument about your one and get you like this good.

I don't think I'm a really good, but we're going. I don't think Vicki was a Bob Gort I think you just want a bucket of buttered brought all the greater the myth about the guy coupled all of them like always about about that years ago that couple get the luck in different ways and we have to learn to appreciate the different doesn't take to learn the different busy marriage. You know with that and I know you said it probably can guess, but there are people out there that really do fight over the and and over all that is learn to just but otherwise you won't be glad to live within the guideline you want your word.

The fight but you damn it up to me when we were younger. I'm in I wanted to win you any disagreement was, I will give the impression of spotting all the garbage and they're going to be young couple this thing you're you're going to have this agreement over Stefan and you can either take them in stride and I want to tell you I was not a good Bible that God giving him five minutes Very very bad over things. It really may not find a more important to you or me or to Vicki but I mean really do you want to get divorced over how you squeezed toothpaste tube yes sometimes you're just not worth the fight. You got to learn that you love each other and you got to know be forgiving and be willing to bed. So here's one of my rules really from the beginning. So it's really a lesson but maybe it will be the some people listening out there is divorce was never going to be an option for me now. I know some people listening, they will are you not go through what I want brought out think, but you know, I know there are sometimes when they can't be avoided, and certainly now we live in the day and age where there's a no-fault state, but at least in my mind, I made a decision from the beginning of so big you never got married and when her parents, a measure of your parents were divorced when you're at your situation got a bit big because parents were and I just told us not going to be option. I don't want to ever discuss the DWORD will not come out all your it.

We got to find a way around it. No matter what and I think the bugs. I know got a dark know it can't be aborted baby physically if you have you maybe one member of the marriage Christian and once not that's what's so important. The Bible tells were not to be unequally hugged is very important for Christian that all Christians are perfect, but a Christian to find a Christian might be at least committed you're trying to work things out and not given to divorce. I think today is just so easy for people to want to take the divorce option is still fighting through but were not fighting through working through the issues that I have America all Wellington, change happening behind her. Interestingly what I'm talking about all the talking about marriage. There are things I have usually want to win an argument you in my mind. I believe I'm right.

I think I know I 99 out. I learned, one can make everything you can become like running around my chair, and it can be like the learning really can't damage different than you are going to think.

My conclusion about when you click on that folded down going. Anything that can make it stronger. Me quite a long time because I'm I think he had broken out. I wanted to be going to be at her lying I want to do it all right very different for me. Take a long time to clean everything.

Their main any time an argument is not our job training are not our job. Everything I can't figure out how I thought their feelings are concerned, there are very newly married hold that there there working through more carefree and shuddering time tracking, pressure, timeframe deprivation and concern here how you would address parenting will never allow me near the different triplicate where you guys are and where we are learning conventional hearing fluid and I was looking at purchasing has been really wanting me to like get rid of Violet trying to be purging.

I came across work that has been like eight euros a gallon. I looked at it and I thought wow, that person anymore. I'm thinking why I changed and so we go in order for us to stay together. We've got to grow and change together and that's really is true. Growing and changing. One of the big differences okay. I'm not complaining. I am happy you have a lot different was anybody got a lot of what I mean you used to be an event got a got all I can work the Raymond talk to people. I try to get energy off visiting and talking with people think is very much the and that wasn't really a big issue for us first got married, operate the political world you know and and or allotment to go to Vicki doesn't really want to go to that it understand you don't want to go to be president or the governor will go shooting. There done larger display in the UK. His dog noticed the talking about how mom is J there we go somewhere and we can't believe that she will get talking people were like. I would ask are you work, where did my wife go like where you can blame is 30 years. You want to look but we do change you imaging a while ago, communication, body, and I think that is so important and I think a lot of young couples don't communicate and communicate doesn't mean yelling and screaming and I think I went back and in our marriage. So many urologist using an argument you just bring whatever could've been prevented. I just communicated my desire to want your knee you I have a mama what I expect or what I think should or will happen and when it doesn't know I'm just in time to got mad about things in me that I euros.

McGill usually I just go. I got a call in the whole and she doesn't know what she did or did she doesn't know what I expected her to, and ethically get better.

That is, couples. But in the beginning and intricately newly married couples.

You really need to communicate with each other so you know what the expectations of other people are and you know I don't I don't know if they communicate your I was bigger right to get mad about if you knew what they expected.

Know what you don't know is, hard to know that you wonder whether mad are you know what the other person as we love ourselves.

Wiley Carly Clark everyone around way and at the same in marriage. We want what we want we want it or because we believe are mediating it the best way they cannot bring any other person along and whatever decision it is that you're making. Then you're not wrong. As you can be more than Like it could be when we talk about you, but to glorify the Lord have other people be the Lord in your marriage is all a kind and great and email letter where we even are communicating, are you there. I don't how you and Vicki are but I there there that you bear on me. I mean, you can't go back to when you first got married and bring all never get wrong now. You can't do that if you want to have a healthy marriage or near Atlanta, when, when, in fact, near the disagreement when there's an argument feeling like that and you and and you guys can work it out, and the end result with Hansberry. I'll work on changing matter.

I was wrong or I need to do that you forward all good ticket. I'll get the argument you have. Get back to before that date and bring back covering a greater I don't like leftover. And if you bring all that taking the path and shouting in a way the track and the fact that you have for each other so we do have an argument stay on point.

Don't go grasping at straws and bring every other infraction that you can think of to make a point honoring the other person really hurting the relationship more than helping out in your communicating think Dana point and deal with the point if an agreement, a compromise agreement.

He is decided upon and you move forward in the next time you have an argument over the exact thing with the matter. I don't how you and Vicki do the no important especially note the longevity because 38 years of marriage thing.

If we conducted a 10 my word, we never get past. They want to argue all over everything and believe in people often be surprised when they say that because they look it up really really hard at it. The conflict to different people. We have Jesus in common. Together until now. No matter what it is a little differently and I have to back and appreciate that and I have to love that person is not the person I wish he would be another time. I thought you told me. I got married and I felt great and are you sure enough we had argument and were working. Back in my okay great like you just gave me new material today. I would think it does like I don't need new material, but it is life and we have to have we have to be honest, take the longer where Mary doesn't mean I get monthly bowling people we never disagree no. We are always going to okay there are couple Duncan. I am Beta, people might not have argument by agreeing to be like letter and call you just go together on that maybe your American blessing. Take don't take that for granted. If you like the majority of that friction and attention and you have to show the back.

Unconditional love for you is your work is the language of the word.

Eight. We don't recognize our we use the word to try to get a resolve that DWORD doesn't, but when you need anything about not being at the DWORD to people to be out of the take two people that are committed that are determined that are willing to down there willing to be out of the other for not because they're a doormat not being used in it. Because both are doing and I think both my social design name will feature the organization or individual upon Fran's life difficult for the energizer current situation is social media, graphics cards give us a call today at 704984242 connect with the design of social relationship is, when hearing is in line enjoy the conservative Baptist network is a dynamic movement of Southern Baptist pastors, churches and Christians committed to standing for the sufficiency of God's word in the face of a culture of compromise. The passion and prayer of the conservative Baptist network is that God would help Southern Baptist a bowl for the gospel so that we might see revival in America and the reached for Christ. Visit our website today, a conservative Baptist to learn how you and your church can join and support this exciting movement. The United States of America has a strong Christian heritage, most Americans don't know the truly important role God in the Bible is nationally indicated radio host and founder of American foundation Dr. Chris performing days in our nation's capital with Crystal embark on a journey of discovering the hidden Washington DC and we discover much of America's forgotten Christian heritage tore up close and personal look at the knees and how it evolved over the centuries learn about the government and the mental health new kind of Republic wanted to acknowledge the creator from the very inception the truth about the creation of the about the fate of the mounting father Christian principles were used this form of government for America secure your spot to join by bike. Joe is one of the one of the list will of the Lord that you need figure out maybe we get married.

How you like. Now that I'm hurting people quiet but development despite using a great AMI over simple thing like toilet lid up your resume is about how Tom raised her up your big one. Connie is Bonnie and I am not a nice boater, medically. I went and you cannot have that attitude in marriage is to be aware if you parked your going not only to yeah because the bottom line is you guys.

You will and so you know if you're meeting your words were too bad Connie. You know what they been spoken really can never come to think of the spouse not forgive you the truth is there never forget those languages so I think the rules regarding the Padilla I think you need to make vision achievable as those of the main plumbing you can disagree on things without being me and even an argument or disagreement you can still honor each other, me, Vicki don't agree on everything you mean we have to knock down drag out about funny funny you're outside of the village are probably the number one cause a reason given for divorce in America. It took me years to realize this you wish to have the WYSIWYG editor B. Vicki grew up you being mean or situation know the fear of being poor something that's real to her ranch. You don't always understand that caveat I didn't honor all fear.

And I think I need to recognize where she came from work. Fear is intermediate never been a pyramid A blonde beauty at work that to me. I trust God every 90. What is blessed with what would God and other countries on Colorado have that beer. There's one that she had Joe here when we disagree on things and times you got always be about no just for Mammon like the toilet lid thing ever major issue, but most women don't want lift up so I just I will live because local joke. You are just going about the state of the lid book and what you want to do with it that you "do the little things can be avoided if we just have simple rules. Another war think we need to have in our marriage Bonnie as we need to be truly pretrip, you know, we need to always be positive and encouraging the proud of our spouses when they accomplish things I think of you when I've talked a lot a couple other you got what you don't know that women always realize Bonnie because men try to play at all, but I want to tell you there's nothing like having your wife proud of you and you know that she brought on the Boston Fed. We need to be acted.

That really is important to a man. AMI truly want to make money and all that they want to feel like they're providing for her family way knowing other ways to what really is important for man to be respected like I think is important for woman to feel like she's love you may want to be love to be up at unit one certain guys that are just inmate. I think that investors creation preachers and creation and one is a man really wants to know that his wife respects him on love you. I don't know that women always feel that way is an optical woman, drove across larger but the optical woman wants to feel love and you want to build a know that she stays in her home with her marriage and in with her husband about fighting fairly like that.

I love what you said about the foreign chatter here for each other going to be that will allow you to put a filter over that thing on your Kong that letters out words and it needed a moment that you don't take back that always communicating argument that I'm 4II want to get to the place of understanding. I don't like when we are, you and II want to come to a resolve to agree to come to a compromise dog and going. And when the going got I think that's what I'm things happening in our culture. All the lines are blurred when man who want to provide for their family are are being on label and controlling or donning and tying the wife down when they're trying to provide data Friday evening. Then for her wanting to be provider Dr. NAFTA what's happening in our culture getting marginalized really displaying methods to nine and I think I finally have been many men not getting up and being there and dare I say and when with when I'm not understanding what the dynamics and the role violent than global role in our marriage didn't go through life and how it how things work in written Allah (reconstructed transition to something else related or have women that I know how to rely on a man because they feel like it got a do it all in all. Anything either.

All the lines are blurred and when that happened and make it very difficult for your marriage survive on and and for you to become one powerful union, which is what we should be shooting for the sacred women can't work and make it out at the time I got to be very deaf people are getting to be very gifted at making money and gain and how will they make.

Fernanda data for this particular time or every couple make the plan that many back and when I need love and security, and I know that sounds so clich or simply not think pretty much a plant needs water three simple water battleground fellow fertilizer on their boards after Nathan speaking to them in a way that built the map doesn't tear them down at a flower effect but that it did bagel for at the theater just turned 18. A basic and simple that we build on from the bars and got a ring out of the, I was originally doing illusion will be working on it won't all get maybe 1/3 available. I've got a thank you decision to have your writing will probably think you sure you visit more books on your marriage that soliciting the Christian perspective more about impacting culture for Jesus Christian perspective US. This is the Truth Network

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