Hey, this is Jim Graham from the Masculine Journey Podcast, where we explore relationship, instead of religion, every week. Your chosen Truth Network Podcast is starting in just a few seconds.
Enjoy it, share it, but most of all, thank you for listening and for choosing the Truth Podcast Network. Welcome to The Christian Perspective, where we look in God's Word, and we're talking about family issues with Connie Alberts. I'm Chris Hughes. Welcome to The Christian Perspective, where we look in God's Word, and we're talking about family issues with Connie Alberts. And we're talking about family issues with Connie Alberts.
I'm Chris Hughes. Welcome to The Christian Perspective, where we look in God's Word, in order to develop a Christian worldview and modern culture. And folks, there's no greater area of our lives where we need to have a Christian perspective, and to develop a biblical worldview, and really within our families. Parenting's hard. Vicki and I have two kids, and just like you, we face challenges every day where we don't always know what to do. As a matter of fact, we hardly ever know what to do. And I thought that those challenges would end when the kids went to college, but they don't.
And certainly not in this COVID area where kids are sent home from college, and they're really our kids our whole lives. So we're starting something new today, and I hope that you'll listen to The Christian Perspective every day. But I want you to mark your calendar to make sure that you listen to us every Friday, because starting today, we're going to talk about family issues on Fridays with my co-host, Connie Alberts. Connie Alberts is an author, she's a speaker, and she helps parents and families discover who they were created to be, and how to cultivate lasting relationships within their family. And Connie also knows a lot, a lot, a lot about being a mommy, because she and her husband Tom have five kids, and she homeschooled her kids.
So she deserves a crown for being kind of supermom to me. Connie's an author. Her most recent book, Parenting Beyond the Rules, is ranked number one on Amazon in its category, and her podcast, Equipped to Be, is one that you should listen to every single week. Connie's the director of Family and Parents at Citizens for America Foundation, and she's the one to call when you have a parenting question. Connie, I am so excited to introduce you to our audience and to have you join me as a co-host on The Christian Perspective.
Chris, I'm delighted to be with you and your listeners. My goodness, this is very exciting how you're filling a need within our community, our culture, and politics, and just to be able to be together every Friday and talk about matters that pertain to family is going to be such a need in our society right now. It seems to be even more, I mean, family issues have always been important and, you know, their spouse relationships and relationships with children and grandparents and in-laws and out-laws, but it seems like families are really coming under attack now at a time like never before.
Yeah, absolutely, and it used to be subtle. It's like you always kind of knew, especially me as a mother of five, you know, people would say, do you know how that happened? Or how many are you going to have? And people, society in general, didn't always view children as a gift and a treasure and something that was to be celebrated and delighted. It was something we were to count, like how many do you have?
And if you reach a certain limit, which was nebulous because it depended on who was asking the question, then they would raise their eyebrows or they would celebrate with you. And so you knew families and family values were always under attack, especially if you have a Christian mindset and a biblical worldview. Now, we don't have to wonder. It's just straight in our faith. Everything we do, our family values, our character training, our teaching of God's word, all of that is now under attack and in plain view for all parents. So in some ways, Chris, that's a good thing. We actually know what we're fighting.
We don't have to guess and wonder. That's right out there for us to combat and confront and teach our children, like, how do we navigate this? So there's a lot of negatives, but there's also some positives. Yeah, and I think it's kind of different for families the last couple of years. You know, husbands and wives are spending more time together as many companies are sending people home.
You know, not that you want to get away from your spouse, but sometimes you need a break. But when you're locked in for two years with them and kids are sent home from school and home from college, it just created a whole new set of issues for families. So, Connie, with families, even though they've always been under attack, it really is a different time. So have you seen a change in the way families are being attacked today?
Oh, absolutely. I think we see it every day on the news cycle. We see, you know, parents that are concerned, their children. I know you mentioned that I homeschool.
Yes, people thought I was crazy then, and sometimes they still think I am. But, you know, what we're seeing is parents in the that are sending their kids to private or public school or charter school, and they want to have a say in what their children are learning. They want to make sure that it lines up, or at least they know what's being taught so they can discuss it at home. You know, they're being labeled domestic terrorists. They're being marginalized and sidelined. And as you know, because the show also deals with some politics, I mean, we know that people that are elected in positions of authority and power, I mean, they will blatantly say, Chris, parents, you know, you just sit down, shut up. We know best. We're the educators.
We're the ones with the degrees. And we will take your children and we will teach them what we think is right, whether it's equity or whatever the flavor of the day is. And so as a parent, we now know that those attacks and what we can do to combat that in our school systems and in our communities since COVID is awareness, not being afraid.
So we have to start that fear. There are children. They were given to us and we will answer for how we teach and train them.
Not a teacher, not the Department of Education, the DOE, not the union. They aren't responsible for our children. You and I are, you know, as you have your children that are both in college, they're learning ideas and maybe philosophies and theories about issues that you and your wife may not agree with. But you can talk about them.
And they also have greater reasoning ability as they get older. But still, we're sending them out into a world that is not really parent friendly or family centric like it once was. It's pretty much anything else. Whatever you want. You want to call a family this or that or label this and hey, that's great.
You do you. And you know, as a Christian perspective, so much of what you focus on in the show is throughout the week, you know, Monday through Friday is what does God's Word say about that? There are there are truths, there are standards, there are values, there are order and decency and creating rhythms and routines within our family that go in all parts of our life, not just the family, but that's our segment today, but it really crosses over to all areas.
Yes, it's really crazy. Connie, I think, you know, parents, they hear, you know, people like you and me speaking at conferences and telling them things are going on in the school system or in colleges, but it was distant from them. And they didn't really know when when kids came home, both in high school and in college, parents were seeing things that their kids were being taught that they had no idea what's going on before and then realized that the family truly is under attack. I mean, my kids aren't in high school anymore, but I know a lot of people who've just been shocked to see the things the curriculum in high school and and as you mentioned, my kids are both in college now. And so sometimes I'll stick around if they hear the show today, I will get trouble for this.
But I'll kind of listen in to see what what their teachers are saying, you know, because they're they're online. And it's just shocking the stuff that's being taught and the mindset is a very liberal, very anti-family mindset. The attack coming across the family is, you know, like abortion is an issue that colleges are teaching kids that it's crazy to think that that baby in a mother's womb is a living creature.
It's just a blob of cells. And and that's like a brainwashing that's going on with our kids and not just with abortion, with sexual identity and teaching kids that it's OK to have sex outside of marriage and and to think that your you know, your transgender or I think Facebook now has over 150 choices, which I don't know how you can have that many choices of what your gender identity will be. And Connie, all of these are attacks on the family that have never existed before because God created man and woman in his image and a man and woman are not complete. As an individual, God made a husband and wife to be one. And when the society and the school system and those around us in the culture attack what God designed is destroying the traditional family. Absolutely. And I think in America, because I know we have to be mindful of why, why, why is the family under such attack and why are we seeing it more dramatically play out since Covid hit?
You know, we can talk about that later on in the show. But what we have to realize is there is a purpose behind all of this. If you if a society can break down the nuclear, the nucleus of a family, if they can normalize absolutely anything and everything, then the family, the family unit gets marginalized. And once that happens, then the children are fair game. You know, they they're they're free to teach and train whatever ideology, philosophy, religion that is possible out there. I mean, they're they're now in some schools.
At least one I know for sure. You know, now they allow Satan groups. Kids can go to these they can it groups and learn about Satan and their statues. And and when we if a child is left to themselves, they bring destruction on themselves.
Why? Because they don't have the reasoning ability. The brain isn't fully developed till now. They're learning 25 years old. That is a long time for your children to be indoctrinated, to be persuaded in a way that may not be actually accurate. And then unfortunately, Chris, you and I both know that when these children are taught untrue or there's no there's no absolutes.
There is no standard. There's no nucleus of the family. Guess what ends up happening when they hit adulthood? I mean, when they really hit that adult years, they're so confused. They don't know up or down, right or wrong. They don't have a mooring. They don't have that anchor. And children need that. They need that to be able to become contributing citizens in a society.
They do, Connie. And I don't think people understand it's a spiritual tack that's coming across our families today. And we need to really get rooted in God's word. We're going to have to take a commercial break here. You're listening to Connie Albers and Chris Hughes on The Christian Perspective. It's family Friday. So we're going to take a quick break and thank our sponsors. When we come back, we're going to talk more about the attacks on the family today. Specifically, we're going to jump in right away and what's happening in the churches and are the churches part of the problem in today's society. Stick around. We'll be right back. This show is brought to you by Generous Joes, the coffee company with The Christian Perspective.
This is the answer that Christians and conservatives have been looking for. A coffee company that gives back to causes you care about. Order your coffee today at ShopGenerousJoes.org and even subscribe to a subscription coffee plan and never forget the coffee you love or the causes you care about. Walk in the footsteps of Jesus and see the Bible come to life. This December, join nationally syndicated radio host and founder of the Citizens for America Foundation, Dr. Chris Hughes, on a life-changing trip to Israel. It's one of the world's oldest and most fascinating travel destinations. Learn the faithful from all over the world for thousands of years. Visit Jerusalem's religious quarters and explore Christianity's most treasured religious sites, like the Wailing Wall, the Dome of the Rock, and the Via Dolorosa. Walk with Chris through the winding alleyways of Nazareth's old city and visit ancient Bethlehem, the place of our Savior's birth. Float in the Dead Sea, visit the Sea of Galilee and the Jewish fortress of Masada. See firsthand where the events of the Bible took place. Touring Israel with Dr. Chris Hughes is a travel odyssey like no other.
Visit CitizensForAmericaFoundation.com and get ready for an unforgettable trip and memories that will last a lifetime. Do you desire to build family relationships that stand the test of time? Does creating a Godly family seem like a daunting challenge?
You're not alone. I'm Connie Albers, author of Parenting Beyond the Rules and host of Equipped to Be. As a mother of five, I understand your struggles. For 35 years, I have been helping families just like yours build lasting relationships. I'd like to invite you to tune in to Equipped to Be and visit ConnieAlbers.com where I share useful tips and proven strategies to help you navigate the seasons of motherhood, faith, and life with confidence and joy. History was made on today's date.
Stay tuned for an American Minute with Bill Federer. Pilgrim's Progress was published this day, February 18, 1678. It was written by John Bunyan, who was born in Bedford, England, and at the age of 29 became a Baptist minister. Bunyan was imprisoned for over 12 years for preaching without a license. While in jail, he supported his family by making shoelaces.
Pilgrim's Progress, which is an allegory of a Christian's journey to the celestial city, has been translated into over 100 languages and, after the Bible, held the position as the world's best seller for hundreds of years. It could be found in nearly every colonial New England home. This has been an American Minute with Bill Federer. For a free transcript, call American Minute at 1-888-USA-WORD.
Thank you. We were talking about family issues and how the families are being attacked, and we talked a lot about COVID and the school system. Connie was talking about how in public schools right now and in colleges there is no truth anymore, and that really is the truth. When our parents, you know, when we as parents teach our kids certain rules growing up and when we teach them the truth and hopefully as Christian parents we're teaching them that God's Word is true and that there is an absolute truth in this world and that truth is Jesus Christ, and then they go to public school or they go to college and they're being taught there is no truth, it really confuses our children as to who's right. Are my parents right? Are these professors right? You know, sometimes we think that the professors, because they have these many degrees and a great education, they know more than our parents, and it's causing a problem and a risk within families.
But Connie, I wanted to kind of delve a little deeper there. As Christians, you know, we're part of the body of Christ and we're going to church, but churches have really changed in the last few years too. Do you think churches are part of the problem with the attacks on our families today? I think I have a two-fold answer on that.
Yes and no. How do you like that? That's the political way of thinking this. That's good.
You should run for office. I think, yes, for this reason. Churches are often, parents often would send their kids, now this is pre-COVID, parents would send their kids to youth groups and Sunday school and life groups and camps and all those are fine, but parents would send them to churches and expect the youth leaders and teachers to teach them what they needed to know, to have that biblical worldview, to understand who God is and that there's a difference between knowing about God and knowing there is a God and the difference is having a relationship with a living God. So it's not about a religion, it's about a relationship. So if parents were sending their children to church and the church was supposed to be equipping these children with the truth found in God's words, which is really the parents' responsibility, in Deuteronomy it talks about teach a child in the way they should go.
When you wake up, when you lie down, when you go by the way, here a little, there a little, as you go. That's the nature of parenting. And so where the churches have failed is the churches are being forced to comply with standards and mandates and meeting budgets and budget programs and growth expansions and the political pressure from the outside is now seeping inside the church. Where do they stand?
Do they stand? And so many times, Chris, there's a lot of churches that don't have the strength and the fortitude to stand up and say, no, this is the truth. And you can believe what you want, but we're going to teach what is true and right according to scripture, not according to the whims of the day. So there is partly the church maybe not having the strength of conviction of what they're teaching and also of parents pushing off their responsibility to a church. So that's why I say, you know, it's yes and no. Does that make sense?
Yeah, it does. And I think that parents need to make sure that they don't just drop their kids off to church, that they need to go with them. I think that they need to know what's being taught. Go to Sunday school class and sit in, even though that might embarrass your kids sometimes or go to youth group. I know my kids didn't always like it, but I tried to volunteer.
You know, they always need parents to go to events or to chaperone stuff and I tried to do that as much as I could so I could hear what was being taught and what was going on. Connie, I don't know if you've met George Barna, but George is a Christian pollster. He does a lot of research on what happens in churches and is happening in the Christian community and the culture today. And George found that pastors who claim, now I'm not saying all past people that claim to be pastors, but of pastors who claim to be evangelical pastors, only 10% of the pastors who claim to be evangelical pastors ever address issues in the culture today.
Issues that our children are facing. You know, if you think about it, listener, going to your church, when's the last time you heard your pastor preach a message on abortion? Or does he ever address homosexuality or the transgender issues that are going on in society today? A lot of pastors avoid those issues, Connie, and they do it whether they don't want to offend people or maybe they're afraid that their tithes and offerings are going down. I would hate to think that, but that is the case with some pastors from the research I've read. But what's happening is a lot of parents don't read the Bible every day. A lot of students don't read the Bible every day. So the only Bible that people are getting is when they go into God's house. And when a pastor or a youth pastor or a Sunday school teacher doesn't address these issues, then our kids don't know what the Bible says or what a Christian stance should be. And that's really affecting the families, Connie, because the church is avoiding those issues, but they're hearing it every day in public school and in public universities and colleges across the country. And on all the social media platforms. They're constantly indoctrinated with, it's like the news has taken the place of what we should be feasting on, right?
We feast on the headlines. This is what's happening now and this is what's happening in schools. And really, we want to have our kids focused on being able to rightly devise the truth.
And that only happens when you do what you have said. Spend time in the Word. If you're in the Word, you'll know what the Word says. I was writing an article for a magazine and I had mentioned about how for years we would open our home up to kids, to teens and college kids, and we would just teach the Bible.
I mean, it was just nothing. It wasn't a book that somebody wrote. It was the book. And we would just go through it and these kids were starving for truth. They needed to know what the Word said and not what somebody else said that they said about the Word.
Do you know what I mean? And what we have found is 10 years, 15 years later, maybe not that many years, but these kids are still talking about, oh, those were some of the best years of my life. Because we equipped them, like in, you know, if you just want to put them in the full armor of God. We are able to know what is true and right and lovely. We're able to speak intelligently and not just spouting off cliches and phrases. We're able to say what the truth is and that is what makes the difference. And that is where the churches have failed in some ways.
It's all topical instead of, can we get to some meat? Can we get deeper to find out the heart of God? And not just what all the rules and regulations or denominational practices are, but what do the words mean? What is there for, therefore? Why does God use but? You know, God never tells us to take something off without telling us what to put on. He doesn't just say, don't steal. What does he tell us? It's not just, okay, well, don't steal, don't lie, don't cheat, don't commit adultery, don't do all those things.
Okay, that's the end of that. When we know that, when our children know that, especially when our kids are in college, they're able to defend what they believe and why they believe it. Now, how does this relate to families? Because as mom and dad, like you were saying, you were very involved in the church.
You would go on the camps and you would show up in the youth groups, as did we. See, parenting is an active, nonstop activity. I mean, we are always engaging with our kids. And I write about the parenting styles.
You know, we talk about the hovering and the helicopter. And parents that are engaged in their lives with their children, parents that know if their kids are flipping through porn, if they know what their kids are listening to or what, you know, TikTok channels they're tuned in, if parents are engaged with their kids and having a real relationship, not just a bunch of rules, okay, you can't do this, you can't do this, you can't do this, but the kids know why we're doing this, they're less likely to push back, and it doesn't come across as we're being hovering or helicoptering or sweeping or lawnmowing or what all the new terms are now for parents. Parents are very concerned for their kids. They're concerned not only about what they're learning, Chris, they're concerned about their character. They're concerned about do they know how to stand up for right and wrong. Do the kids know that there can be consequences for standing up for truth?
Yes, there can. We see cancel culture. Our kids are very in tune with that. We see it with what's happening with athletes, with what's happening with celebrities, with politicians. They see the double standard. Our kids are smart, but they need engaged parents that are coming at it from a perspective of I love you, God loves you. God wants us to do life together, not just to do let's turn the tassel on, okay, see, my job's done.
No, this is like a lifetime gig. Well, Connie, I think you hit the nail on the head where you said the kids are smart today. I think we underestimate them, and I know that the church has underestimated them. Kids really are very intelligent today. They have access to more information than ever in the history of the world.
Daniel talks about it in the Bible where Daniel says in the end times that there will be a knowledge explosion on the earth today, on that day, and that's where we are right now. I mean, literally, kids can jump on their phone and learn about any topic. It amazes me the things that my kids know about that I never had a clue about as a kid.
The kids today are smart, and they don't want to just scratch the surface. They want to do what you were saying, like you and Tom did in the Bible studies in your home, where they're getting deep into the Word of God, but churches today are just giving like a happy meal almost instead of delving into the Word of God and helping these kids. So how do you think that churches can show more support for parents and help parents? Don't undermine them. Don't think that they are replacing the role of the parents.
If the parent is not engaged, encourage them, come alongside them, ask how they can help support. So often if we get a family that is in crisis or struggle, especially as the kids get older and they start pushing back or resisting, and they realize this is a family unit. It's the first unit God established.
He created all that there is, and then there was Adam and Eve, and he gave them a command. And so what the churches need to do is realize this is a unit that is to do, we're to build up and teach and equip and encourage and support because life is hard. Parenting is hard. Children, they want to have a voice. They want to have a say. And leaders, whether it's church leaders or civic leaders or educators, we have to remember that it's a family unit, not a group of individuals that just happen to live under one roof.
That's not going to work. But parents, you have to also be very active in that. You have to insist, oh, no, no, no. We go together. It's all of us. And I have different temperaments. Not everybody is the same. We're not all of the same cut, and we don't all have the same gifts, strengths, and talents. That's not required, but we share a last name. And whether it's a blended family or it's just one unit that isn't blended and there's not divorce and stuff, but we know that's an important part.
But we're still doing life together. And when those children grow up, we want them to come back. We don't want them to leave the church. We don't want them to say, well, thanks for all that, but, yeah, I'm not buying any of it. And I think that's a big part of the parent's responsibility, not turning over the reins of authority to somebody else when it's clearly mandated that we are to teach and train our children.
That's the command. We are to teach and train our children. That doesn't necessarily mean homeschooling. It just means that we are the primary influence in our children's lives, and don't let anybody need you to believe how they're like. And, folks, we'll be right back. We're talking about family issues and our responsibilities as parents. And when we're going to come back, we're going to talk about COVID and how it's affecting the family.
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Welcome back to The Christian Perspective. Connie Albers is giving us a lot of great information on families today. We've been talking about the attacks that are coming on families and even how the church has become part of the problem for families today.
Connie just gave us a lot of great advice on how if you're a pastor or a youth leader or Sunday school teacher how you can support parents and support families in this difficult time. Well, Connie, we talked about COVID a little bit in the beginning of the show but let's kind of dig deeper. COVID's exposed a lot of issues in our government and in our society today and it doesn't seem, I keep thinking it's going to go away but it really doesn't seem like it's going away anytime soon.
So what is COVID exposed as it relates to the family? You know, we were so busy as a society, weren't we? We were running here, running there. The kids were in three different sports and music and art classes and extracurricular activities and frankly everybody was doing their thing and they would see each other in the morning as they were grabbing the lunch bag and heading out the door and they'd have a few conversations or the kids would be on their phones and then they'd come back together in the evening whether it was drive-through or dinner at home and there was very little interaction. You know, hey, did you do your homework yet?
Okay, great. But COVID hit and the family stopped. You know, the kids' peer groups, Chris, they were pulled away, they were stripped away from their church groups, from their friend groups, from their school friends and mom and dad were sent home and the world shut down and here's what happened. Parents learned what their kids were learning.
Now, some people talk about all the negatives with COVID is that, Chris, there's some really good things that have happened with COVID. Parents know what their kids are learning and I believe that's why there's so much pushback now from parents of hey, oh no, we're not talking about this. This is our job to have those conversations within our family. You can add to them, you can give us food for thought, but it's our job. Well, parents realize they are teaching our children things that I don't necessarily agree with.
It's not their job. You know, they're to teach math, English, writing, I mean, competency skills that will prepare our kids for adult life, you know, for vocations that will contribute to society. The other thing that parents have happened as a result of COVID is they're spending more time together. Now, we're several years into it and parents are weary, so we have to be mindful of that, but they're playing more board games together.
They're going on bike rides, they're going on outdoor camping adventures or stays at the beach. They're just interfacing more as a family unit as opposed to this child's gone this way, this child's going that way, mom and dad's over here, dad's gone, mom's gone. The beauty is we're seeing our children's heart, we're seeing our children's character or lack thereof because sometimes, you know, the teacher would be saying, hey, you know, your kids are all disruption in class and, like, well, it just is you. It's because of every other thing, and all of a sudden now the kids are home and parents are going, well, maybe the teacher was right.
Maybe you do need to learn to behave better or maybe you do need to learn to not interrupt so much. But that's a good thing. Parents are spending more time, which is quality time, with their kids. And the third thing is we've learned that suburban life isn't so bad after all. There's a beauty to being able to go out and play with the neighbor kids or ride bikes or just have community with our neighbors that usually we would just wave at or we would see them drive in.
You know, we would see them as we drove in and out of the driveway in the morning and in the evening. So those are some good things, Chris, that have come as a result of COVID. It's brought knowledge and insight for parents to be able to know how to better teach and train their children with character qualities and life skills and coping mechanisms and how to deal with crisis. So, you know, for all the bad that's happened and all the confusion and all the chaos and the in-school, out-of-school, at-home virtual learning, getting lost, not understanding principles, we also want to focus on what has helped strengthen our families.
And as a Christian, that's invaluable because when we get ready to launch these children, whether you have elementary-age kids or Chris, you've got older kids that are in college, you have had some wonderful time to shape, mold, and form your kids to be more resilient, to understand that their identity is first found in the Lord and then within their family, not their peer group. Those peers are great. Friends are wonderful.
We love them. They help us do life together. But it's our family that's going to be there in the long run. The family's going to be there at the bedside. The family's going to be the ones that pick them up when they're down, and that's something that is beautiful that has actually happened to the family.
It has, and I'm going to be negative and play devil's advocate for a minute with you, Connie. It has, and I love having my kids home. As a matter of fact, later today, I'm taking my daughter back to start her second semester of school, and she said yesterday, she said, Daddy, please, I know you want me here.
Do not pray to God that school will cancel when we step back home this semester, because she does. I've enjoyed having the kids home. My son goes to school in Florida where you live, and it's not a strict down there, and he's been able to go to school a lot more in person, but my daughter went to Emory undergrad, and they sent her home in March of 2020 and shut down the school and basically went with everything online, but it has been an adjustment for families as well, so it's been wonderful to have time with my kids, and I'd love to keep them forever, you know, if I could, but there are unique challenges for parents and families also, Connie, I think, because you have parents who, you know, some parents find their identity. Some adults find their identity in their jobs, and so when they were sent home, it left an emptiness, I think, you know, in some people, and maybe they weren't used to being around their spouse or kids as much, and now they're home together all the time, and then for a case like my family, and again, I'm not complaining, because I love having my kids here, but Vicki and I went through this time, which all parents face at some point, and you faced it already, Connie, kind of the empty nest. You know, I went through this huge emotion, and again, I mean, I know every parent loves their kids, but it was very emotional for me when my kids went away to college, you know.
They had been here for, you know, 18 years, and now they're gone, and the house was empty, you know, and so it was an emotional time. I went through all that emotion, and they'd be gone, and then a few months later, they're both back, you know, so it was like a roller coaster ride, not just for my family, but for other families too, and so things got a little normal, you know, Connie, for the last six or seven months, and now with Omicron and other variants possibly popping up, it's kind of a roller coaster again, and an issue, and I'm kind of going down a rabbit trail here, but an issue that our families face, and I know a lot of families are facing, and I'm not being negative about vaccinations. You know, I think that's a person's individual choice as to what they do or don't need to do, but a lot of college students right now are being faced with, you know, do I get the vaccination or not, because a lot of colleges, Connie, and I don't know if it's happened in high school since my kids are in college, but a lot of colleges are requiring kids to get vaccinated before they come back, and I know that's an issue with a lot of, particularly in the Christian community, you know, for various reasons, and I'm not saying whether it's right or wrong, so don't come sending me a bunch of e-mails, but I'm just saying it is an issue for some parents, because initially it was an issue not so much of whether they got the vaccine but being told that they had to get the vaccine, but there are different types of vaccines, and I'm not a doctor, and I'm probably butchering this, but there are some vaccines that are being made, for example, the Johnson & Johnson vaccine that, I know this is probably not where you wanted to go in our conversation today, Connie, but it's an issue that my family's facing right now. You know, there's a Johnson & Johnson vaccine that is made the traditional way, and then the other vaccines are made with mRNA or whatever it's called that may or may not affect DNA, so when kids are being told you can't come back to college unless you take a vaccine, and now let's not take a vaccine but to take a specific one that, like, the Johnson & Johnson's not being honored by a lot of colleges, universities, and hospitals today, so that's a different issue that families are facing, and I guess what I'm really saying is that's a challenge, and, again, I don't want to... My argument is not about vaccines or not vaccines, but it's an issue that some parents and particularly Christian parents, I think, are facing of how do you guide your children, because I don't think this is going away, and, you know, I watched on the news just this morning where different cities around the country, you know, like D.C. and New York and others, you're going to have to show a passport to eat or do anything. If you're not vaccinated, you can't go anywhere, and as parents, that's something that we're going to be faced because if your children haven't been vaccinated, they're going to have to be now, and that's just one of the challenges, I think, that we have out there.
Oh, everything you just said is just so full of conversation, to be honest with you. This is the opportunity for parents. Well, can I just go back for a second? I hear you with the whole they're in, they're out, like the boomerang, that is also equally maddening for kids, you know, that they're gone, they're stepping out into the big, beautiful, wide world with full of opportunities, and Mom and Dad are adjusting to this new life, and then, okay, oh, man, now we're all back together again with our idiosyncrasies and our ways, and, you know, they were our kids, but they're adults.
And what do I have to ask permission for? They were away, they didn't have to ask permission, and now, you know, can I take the car, can I do this or that? And that wasn't an issue before. Yeah, I want to go to In-N-Out Burger at one in the morning, you know, when I'm back home with my mom and dad, and they're going to be like, you know, it's really not safe for you to go out at one in the morning, that's where all the crying... I mean, it's a tension for both sets, so just know that that's normal, it is normal, and that's also part of the growing up of releasing our kids and launching them, but going to your point about this whole what do our kids do, you know, when this... That is part of the biggest frustration is where you live is very different. The rules are very different, and that can be from, you know, ten miles away.
One mayor or one governor may have these tight lockdown mandates or one governor may be more open, but like I live in Florida, we have a governor that's been very economic friendly, been very responsibility, be responsible yourself as an adult, but yet we have other elected officials, local and county level that, nope, they want control, and I really think so much of what... Let me interrupt you there. That's a good place for us to take a break. When we come back, let's delve into that. We'll be right back. Take a commercial break, and we're talking about family issues. We'll be right back. or connect with Diggs Design on social media. In a world crowded with viewpoints and voices.
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Welcome back to The Christian Perspective. Connie Arbors is with us today like she is every Friday where we're going to talk about family issues. We've been talking about really a lot of different things, but challenges that families are facing.
And right before the commercial break, we were talking about COVID and how it has affected us. And Connie brought up a great point where we're talking about our kids being home from college or school and parents being home from work. And Connie pointed out that it's really confusing because in different geographical areas, you know, not just from state to state, but county to county and city to city. I live in the mountains of North Carolina, for example, and we have two small towns in our county. One town is like on complete lockdown. You have to wear a mask everywhere.
The other town is not requiring that, and it's just three miles away. So it's a really confusing time for families. And Connie, you were starting to talk about, before I had to take the commercial break, about elected officials. And so do you think it's a power thing, a control thing?
Why is it different everywhere? It's really affecting families. I would love to be a fly on the wall in some of these decision-makers' offices when they, you know, we kind of view them in the back room and they're conniving and scheming. How can we just control all these people? I really can't say. I just do know, God says, in the heart of a person, the heart of a man, man or woman, you know, evil is in there. And I do believe what we're seeing, it doesn't make sense for most people. Here's what, as we are kind of wrapping all of this up in this last segment, I want families to understand that you're doing life together.
That's the goal, is to build rich, strong relationships because you will have a say in your child's life. They'll listen to you. They will trust you. They will come to you when they're like, hey, I don't even know what to do. I'm going to get fired if I don't get this vaccine or if I don't get this booster or I'm going to not be able to go on this trip because I don't have, you know, whatever it is, today is one thing, tomorrow will be something different. Masks are on, masks are off. One shot, two shot, booster, four every year.
Is there going to be a coronavirus and a flu vaccine that's going to be required? We all know what the future holds, Chris, but this is what we know. As a family, you want to have the relationship where you accept each other's decision, especially as your kids get older. Like your college kids, if they opt in for something, let's say, you know, they make a decision that maybe you're not necessarily in agreement with or you've got a difference of opinion.
Be able to have the conversation without fear of rejection and this is key, without breaking the relationship. None of these decisions are worth... That's been a real issue, Connie, if I can interrupt you. Yeah, I mean, look back at Christmas and Thanksgiving. I know many people who families wouldn't even get together because this person would or wouldn't wear a mask or they wanted to argue about whether or not we had a vaccine and we just got to come together as families and not argue about this. Mm-hmm, and that is possible.
That is possible. It requires mutual respect, especially as your kids are older. It requires knowing what you believe and why and being willing to give an answer for somebody who does ask you. And then it also requires an enormous amount of grace because people, Chris, this is what we're seeing around the world. It's not even just in our little cities and towns.
This is around the world. Fear is governing decision-making. Fear, so we want to teach our children don't live your life based on fear. Don't make a decision based on fear. Have sound reasoning like you brought up the Johnson & Johnson vaccine.
Do your research. Teach your children to be researchers, to know why they're deciding what they're deciding, and this is going to be with us for a long time, but your relationship is going to be around longer. Your relationship and your family unit will outlive whatever this is going to be with coronavirus and all of its different manifestations, but mom and dad, all of you that are listening, protect the relationship, protect the family unit. Respect each other for your decisions.
Don't use this as a time to marginalize, mock, sideline. I have told all of our kids that now are adults because there's five children and three are married. They have to make really hard decisions. You and I had to make hard decisions when we were their age, not like this, but they were hard decisions. Let them know that you're there to support them.
Whatever it is, you'll be supporting them, but we're going to protect the nature of our relationship because, and listeners write this down, you're doing life together. It doesn't stop at 18. Teach them to be of sound mind and make wise decisions, to know when to speak up and when just to be about your business. Everything doesn't need to be shouted from a megaphone. You can make private decisions as a family and be about your business. Yeah, and that's something we need to learn in this day of social media. We want to put too much on, I guess with kids at Snapchat and Instagram and TikTok and for adults, it's Facebook. Like you said, the world doesn't need to know everything that we're doing.
Yeah. I mean, I've had a lot of young people tell me when they're asked certain questions, they'll just say, mm-hmm, yeah, mm-hmm, yeah. I mean, if you're talking to, you and I both know this. I mean, you can try to explain something, but if a hearer doesn't want to hear because they're afraid or because they've done their own research and they've come to their own conclusion and it's different from yours, it's okay. We have to, as a society, find that place again.
We used to have it where we can agree to disagree. I don't understand the forces that be. I don't know if it's a power grab. I don't know if it's for control.
I personally don't believe they, I don't believe anybody could truly understand how powerful fear is in governing people. You know, we, when you think about this, we were told to stand 12 feet away, then six feet away, then masks on, then two masks, three masks, five masks, no masks, stay in your house, only see somebody through a window. You know, if you're married and you stay in separate rooms, I mean, there's just, it doesn't make sense when you actually stop to think about it. But what does make sense is we serve a God who cares, a God who loves us and a God who cares more about our relationship with him and with our family and with others, about loving others than he does about which vaccine you got or didn't get, how many masks you wear or don't wear.
If your child goes to this school or that school, he cares about the heart and the relationships within the family unit. So, Connie, as we, and we've got about three minutes left, as we kind of wrap this up, it's a great conversation today, and we were talking about attacks on families. What can a parent do to push back and protect their families against the chaos in our society and our culture today? First thing is pray. You know, the first thing is to pray and ask the Lord. Like you, Chris, you've been doing all this magnificent work and spreading the word and truth and teaching about Jesus. And then all of a sudden you're like, I need to do this.
There was just this move inside of you. It's like, I need to have this radio show, and it needs to be five days a week. So first thing is praying. What does God want you to do? Does God want you to be behind a microphone or behind a camera? Does God want you to be quietly in your home or in your community? Know where God has called you and run your race and fulfill the assignment before you.
Don't look around. If God said to speak up at a school board and you speak up at a school board, then make sure your kids know why you're doing it. Make sure your children have a conversation. That's an important point, is making sure your kids know.
And that's something I haven't thought about, because I'm kind of, you and I are both out there. We're on the front lines, and I don't know about you. I don't always prepare my kids for something that they might read in the newspaper or see on the news that I said or did.
And I think you just brought a great point. We need to let our families know what we're doing, but we do need to be on the front line as parents. Yeah, and sometimes we need to be quiet. And there are times I want to just jump out there and just say something or do something, go into action.
I want to go into action. And my kids will actually say, please don't. And I'll be like, okay, Lord, you're going to pull somebody else up to go fight that particular battle, because I'm doing life with my family, and I need to be mindful and considerate, because my kids are adults.
I want to be mindful and considerate that I am honoring them. There's mutual honor and respect as your kids get older. And even when they're younger, and we need to be, we always have to keep that in the back of our mind.
We don't just drop off. That's something I learn every day, Connie, is you're saying as adults, when they get to be adults, we don't stop to think sometimes about how our actions affect them, even though they're not living in our house anymore. That's something I've actually learned from you and talking to you over the past few months, is I need to react differently with my adult children. And I wasn't really prepared to do that, but that's something you've shown me that I need to do.
Oh, that's awesome. Yeah, I turned in a book proposal today, and last night I told the kids, hey, you're going to have to sign waivers. And my daughter goes, I don't want to be in your book.
Too late. I wrote it. And so I texted her, Chris, and this is like a practical example to end our segment on.
I literally texted her and I said, were you serious or just messing around? Because I want to honor you. And that's how we need to live our lives. We need to honor one another. We need to honor our spouses and our kids, especially if they grow up. They gain so much trust and respect. It shows them their worth, their value, and their identity is within the family unit, not in their job, not in their position, their power, prestige, or how many zeros they have in their checkbook, but they matter and their worth is within our family. I mean, obviously the Lord first, but on earth, God established the family. That's a great way to end our show today, Connie.
We need to honor God, but also we need to honor each other and our families. Folks, if you want to learn how we can honor each other, mark your calendar, because every Friday Connie Hours is going to be here giving us great parenting and family advice. And I'm just looking forward to working with Connie. Thank you so much for being with me here today, Connie.
I learn something new every time I talk to you. It's good to be with you. It's always my honor. Y'all, thanks for joining us today.
I'm Chris Hughes, and this is A Christian Perspective. Please subscribe and like our podcast, and Connie has a podcast also called QSD. You want to check it out and be sure to listen to it every week. Please share our podcast with your friends on social media and be sure to tune here each weekday to learn how you can develop a Christian perspective. Now let's go change the culture for Jesus. Thank you for listening. The Christian Perspective with Chris Hughes. Learn more about impacting the culture for Jesus. Visit citizensforamericafoundation.com
Whisper: medium.en / 2023-06-03 11:09:04 / 2023-06-03 11:32:49 / 24