Fidelity Crypto is built on 80 years of investing experience with the same discipline we apply to everything we do.
So you can trade crypto and stocks together at Fidelity while getting industry-leading security for all your investments. That's crypto without compromise. Visit fidelity. dot com slash crypto to get started. That's fidelity.
dot com slash crypto. Crypto is offered by Fidelity Digital Assets NA is not insured by FDIC or SIPC and includes risk of significant loss. Securities are offered by Fidelity Brokerage Services LLC member. Three o'clock. Kids are home.
Your to-do list isn't done. New Kraft Mac and Cheese Power Mac was made for days like this. Kraft Mac and Cheese Power Mac packs the same irresistible creamy cheesy flavor you love, now with 17 grams of protein and six grams of fiber. Fuels you up, keeps you going, because your day doesn't stop. Kraft Mac and Cheese Power Mac.
Find it at your favorite retailer. The best thing ever keeps getting better. The deadlines, the pressure, the tension—you may just brush it off as stress, but is your hair? I got to tell you, it's eating us alive, weakening our very roots, breaking us apart. And the more you stress, the more we slip away.
Now please take a deep breath. There's something you can do. Pantene Abundant and Strong System strengthens your hair against stress, reducing hair loss by 85. Only the strongest will survive this shedding. Pantene Abundant and Strong.
Good afternoon, everybody. Welcome into the Winklerverse. I'm Bart Winkler. It is Monday, October 5th. Happy birthday to my buddy Tony Zare.
Carlos Ortiz joins us. What's with the et finger point there on the Dan Shayne YouTube stream? I just wanted to come in usually different.
Sometimes I'll be doing all zany stuff and jazz hands. I just wanted to like point and be like, "You, you are here." I like that. A couple of things to mention off the top. This is episode number seven hundred and sixty. That means we are getting closer to seven, seven, seven, and we are counting up to those.
That number with Potawatomi. I'm going to map it out here today or tomorrow, and figure. I want the episode to be like a preview of a championship game. I'm not saying the two words. The Brewers are.
I'll get into that, but I'm not saying number seven. I'm not saying the two words. Of of what they could achieve here. But we'll get into that in a minute. But it's episode seven seven seven, so I'm trying to tie in something with that.
Does it rhyme with moral miries? Yes.
Okay. Yes, it does. In fact, yes. I also want to thank Carl's Place. Carl's Place is the title sponsor of Carlos Ortiz.
So the rare times I give you any cash for doing this, thank Carl. And also, he'll bring you. That'll be tomorrow. And then some sad news. After what I believe was about 1,200 straight days.
Of happy place hemp being gummy of the day, they're still part of the Winkler verse. You can still get twenty five percent off each and every order. Use the promo code Bart at checkout. But in that time, they've also been gummy of the day. I take no other gummies today.
That is changing, for I have to ingest a couple of these. This is Miralax. No. Gentle constipation relief. Oh, your pooper's a little tight.
I have not had a normal BM in now a week. Oh wow, these gummies come wrapped individually. I guess so you don't, your kid doesn't just start popping them. Yeah, but yeah, I haven't been regular in a week, buddy. I should have came to my tailgate yesterday because there were BMs to be had.
Very good. Tell me about.
So we all we've all had good weekends. Yeah, we're Giants fan. Sure. Packers and Brewers. Hmm.
Well, not the Brewers, but sure. Tell me about your day yesterday. Did you into the game? I did. I I did.
And I could not. Ah, they beat the Cardinals. Oh yeah. Yeah, it was. It was actually a pretty competitive game.
Once again, the defense seals the deal. This time, albeit with a with a pick six, Deontay Banks of all people. Oh yeah, because like every game was a one score game except for there was one game and then your game because he had a pick six and good for him for running all the way and scoring and not yeah and not not taking a knee at the one like Trevor Lawrence to give more fuel to the fire. It's a conspiracy theory and gambling and all that. But yeah, no, great game.
Um, I had no business driving home yesterday.
Somehow I did, and PSA: don't drink and drive. Drink and or drive. Dude, you didn't hit any bikers, I hope. Everybody was three feet away because it's the law. The bikers very well could have hit me, and I had no idea.
There is a hole in my don't admit that on here. Uh, well, I mean, what is you know, am I gonna hurt my prospect of employment? Because there's a flock camera right up in this corner of my basement. There might be one two blocks away from me as well that I think was just built. But yeah, no, great day, exhausting day.
I I ran a half marathon on Saturday, so I still haven't even recovered from that. And I I blitzed my liver on Sunday, so I am I am hurting right now. I actually. Was two seconds away from saying I can't do this today, but man up, sack up. The Giants won.
It's Victory Monday, so now I must rub it in everybody else's faces. I would have let you not do this.
Well, no, the little cash that you do send me every four a four months, I I would I I like to earn it.
So we don't get free money here anymore. I just finally finished those gummies, dude. Those were not good.
Well, I don't think it's supposed to be good because your body doesn't want to keep it.
Now wants to flush it out with the rest of your crap that you can't crap. Oh, that's how that works. I think so because it does. Anybody enjoy the taste of Xlax? I don't think so.
Well, no, but the gummy like I'm used. I'm so used to THC gummies, and they're very chewable and they're very easy, and they taste good. Yeah, no, these were like tasting. This was like chewing dirt. These gummies are like dirt.
Yeah.
So your body can go ahead and flush it out.
So I'm gonna get gentle relief in 30 minutes to six hours. Oh, I have to drink water with this too.
Well, it might be 30 minutes the way that you're backed up, dude. It's been a week. That's awful. I don't, and that's also not healthy. The way that I've been describing it, you don't have you don't have Mexican food around you, like.
I've had everything. I've had, I had a, I've had brats. I've had coffee. I've had more coffee than like. You need, you need chicken tikka masala.
Those Indian spices like flush it right out of you. Last night I had pasta. No, that's not gonna do it. Oh yeah, I eat just big bricks of cheese. Is that bad?
That's disgusting. But no, I don't think it's gonna help you crap.
So the way I've been describing it, and thank you for everybody for coming on this journey with me, is I have an army, okay, and the army is vast and large, and the front lines will get through, and we'll we'll sacrifice those soldiers, but the rest of the army is just like sitting there stuck. Yeah, it's it's uh, was it George Patton just hanging on the ridge with the artillery and all the older officers away from the fray? We can't. We're navigating. We're not navigating.
You know the sandy deserts that you're familiar with as a veteran. We are. We are navigating the Viet Cong. We don't know we're in the jungles. Yeah, yeah, oh yeah.
That they're popping out of the holes. Why do we ever go down there? What were we thinking? We're gonna we're gonna go to this terrain that we cannot navigate and know nothing about. Yeah, on the road.
You know, typically we thrive in road games, but um. No man, not that one.
Well, and then we had to cheat. We had to bring. We had to bring. We had to manufacture the weather to make monsoons over there. Yeah, and napalm.
That was. This is all real. That was. That was fun.
So anyway, the Giants one. You're three and one, dude, on top of the division for the first time in like, I don't know, sixteen years. It's it's actually ridiculous since 2015. Yeah, so if my math is right, which is not, it's 11 years. But yeah, no, the Eagles took a bath yesterday.
Saquon Barkley really killed me in fantasy going out that first offensive series. The Cowboys are are legitimately in trouble. I I had them going to the NFC Championship game. The Cowboys are going to be like the third best team in the NFC based on. The skill of the team, but they have right now they have seventh best record.
They're gonna right right now they have just into the postseason. Yeah, yeah, they they're they're absolutely in shambles to the point where I think Christian Parker legitimately has a chance to get fired and not make it through the whole season as a DC. Like they are in trouble. At least offensively, and their record reflects it. They're two and two, and then the Commanders are who we thought they were.
You know, you know, every any given Sunday, you know, congrats to them. They beat the the Seahawks the week before, and a game that really nobody saw coming, but they came back down earth. And the Giants right now sitting pretty.
Now I don't know if this is sustainable. Probably not. Jameis Winston still your starting quarterback. But the longer that you you can keep JJ McCarthy on the sidelines and on a clipboard, I think the better off the franchise is. Oh, you know, you got the Commanders.
Whether or not Jaden Daniels plays next week remains to be seen, but that's still another winnable game. You know, the you know who who would have thought the Giants would be three and one after four games, losing Jackson Dart in that second one. It looks like in my home fantasy league, the one I care about the most. I'm going to go down to 0 and 4. Yikes!
Oof! I'm I'm I'm I'm on the precipice of going uh 3 and 1. As as long as or rather, if Drake London gets 18 points, I remain undefeated. But um, I actually have something to play for today in this Falcons game. Think I'm down 10.
Vealay versus Jawan Johnson. You have Vealay. Yeah.
And you're down ten, so you got to match whatever John Johnson does and get a talk. All right, so you listen. A thirty-yard bomb. I'm rooting for you. And Jawan Johnson just lays a goose egg.
The reason Drake London goes crazy. I the reason I brought up my fantasy team to begin with is I wanted Jordan Love. I wanted Josh Allen, and I was going to take him at pick number thirteen, and I didn't, and that was a mistake. I should have done that. I.
Took Jaden Daniels, who I don't believe in. No, I never have. Even the first year that he got crowned, because I thought it was the same thing with C.J. Stroud. It's right now.
Right now, it's looking more like R.G. Three. Like this kid cannot stay on the field. Yeah.
So Stroud had his first year of great and hasn't get back to that. And Daniels is his first year of great and hasn't got back to that. But then I took Jordan Love later. And Jordan Love, Jordan Love, his fantasy numbers are good. They're two and two.
He had a couple balls yesterday that just got dropped. He did throw an interception.
So if Jordan Love ever throws an interception in a game, then he needs to be kicked off the Packers. That's the rule. Yeah, that's the goal.
Now that well, that's how people. That's how people are. We're still we're still dissecting every throw Jordan Love makes. As if you should. I don't.
I don't think so.
We have the tech to get food delivered in 15 minutes, but we all have horror stories about buying tickets. The Game Time app gives fans the advantage. Get amazing tickets in just a few taps. Fees are included, so what you see is what you pay. And the Game Time guarantee means authentic tickets at the best price every time.
Take the guesswork out of buying tickets to concerts, sports, comedy, and more with Game Time. Download the Game Time app and create an account for $20. Off your first purchase. Terms apply. Um, Robert.
Oh, Robert! In the comments here has a hundo on Kelshie. No, no, no. We go to Paddle Sportsbook. That I have a good BM tomorrow afternoon.
I'm already feeling some movement. This stream might be cut short, so another stream could start. Oh yeah, oh yeah. Oh yes, no, Pete. Don't like it.
You're looking at fireworks. You're looking, you're looking, you're looking at explosions in the sky. What's the dog mad about?
Somebody rang the bell, and I'm not expecting anything, so I don't know what the hell it is. Hmm.
Hopefully, it's not a problem next month. I might be moving to a new apartment, and you know, it wouldn't be a building, so that'd be great. Oh yeah, I thought you were gonna move. Yeah, there was a whole, there was a holdup in regards to all that. But we ran into the landlord yesterday after coming home, blitz completely blitzed from the tailgate and the game.
And the guy was like, "Hey, you still interested? I'll let you know in two weeks." And we're like, "Sure." We just need to go upstairs and sleep now. Oh yeah, it was six o'clock in the afternoon, and we needed. Yeah, I wanted to know about your day. I just told you what it was.
So you had a tailgate. Yes.
At. Giants Stadium. Yes, at at crap life. Um, life. Yep, which is an absolute, still a terrible stadium.
But and you got there at what time? E T. Ah, so got there. The so we had a one o'clock Eastern kickoff.
So we got there about nine forty-five, which is a little later than I like. But um, I had problems getting my parking pass up, so that killed about half an hour right there. Ah, but then you know, quick turnaround. You know, nothing too much crazy on the spread. Had a couple of glizzies.
You know, um, charred those up nice, and then went right for the entrees. We had some rice and beans that were already warmed up in the pot, so I kept them in storage there. They were nice and warm by the time we pull it out with uh some steak. You know, a couple of medium rare pieces, a couple of medium, yeah. Oh yeah, the steak, steak, steak comes out great, and everybody had a good time and an extremely a large amount of alcohol.
In fact, I never sent you the video of me shotgunning in a circle with complete strangers, but um, that was good. I got bad news for you, by the way, in regards to your team. Linebacker Edring Cooper torn Achilles. Oh yeah, we all knew that right away. Yeah, that's um, that's uh, pretty unfortunate, but confirmed as as of Adam Schefter or whoever leaked the information to him.
Cooper with a torn Achilles. He's just posting that now. As of five three minutes ago, we already knew that.
Well, test confirmed it. Shepter's such a grifter, and that that one little tweet will get eight million views and net him another couple of grand, just for passing information along. I'll get to the pack in a second.
So when you got into the stadium, you were shit faced. No, no, no, no, no. I got I got shit faced at the stadium. On twenty five dollar drinks. No, dude, my tailgate was ninety percent alcohol.
Yes, I grilled and I had food, but I brought enough alcohol to feed a small army. What did you drink in the stadium? In the stadium, I had what the hell did this guy order me? I think we just had a Stella, just to keep the buzz going, but it was like one Stella. That was it.
I had numerous amounts of alcohol prior to going in there.
So you were drunk getting into the stadium. Getting go, getting in, I was completely fucking bliss. Oh yeah. They were giving away Mark Bavaro bobbleheads. I did not get one.
Like it was complete because at number eighty nine, Mark Bavaro. Yeah.
Yeah.
Number eighty nine for the first twenty five thousand fans. But because I was so drunk, you know, I had to break down the grill, put everything back into the car. You know, we we got in slightly after kickoff, so all the bobbleheads are gone. But four quarters later, I got a bobblehead standing right in my shelf because some lady was not paying attention. Yoink!
As soon as they as soon as they won the game, she looked she looked left, I went right. But it was right by her. You can't do that. You have to wait. You can't.
It was at her feet.
So she started to walk away with her mate. Um, and I say mate because she might be British or Australian. She was some kind of European, and she was with a guy. And everybody was all celebrating, and they were happy. And he had his bobblehead in his hand, and she went to follow him.
Took a few steps, but because I was, if I was sober, I don't think I'm snatching it. But because I was completely fucking drunk, I went. That's mine now. Grab. Turned around, hit the right, and I hit the fucking fumble, Ruski to my wife.
So she grabbed the bobblehead from me and was able to take it down the stairs. In case the lady might have turned around and saw me, kind of scurrying away, I got nothing in my hands. I mean, I'd get if it was like Jeremy Shockey, but Mark Bavaro, he's in the Ring of Honor, man. You gotta gotta get one of the bobbleheads. Aren't you somewhat impressed?
That I know who Mark Bavaro is, a and then knew his number. No, because you are a sports guy. I'd actually be disappointed if you didn't know. I know the Giants' tight end from the early nineties. Yeah, he's a two-time Super Bowl champion, or yeah, champion.
So why would you know it? You have to. That is, yeah, that is how I know, and and I have a bunch of Mark Bavaro cards. Um. And I buy a bunch of like Giants Super.
Yeah, yeah, that's all right. It's your second team. It's cool. The Giants. Yeah, Packers is not my second team, but um, I I don't hate them.
I think my second team is.
Well, I I don't know. I don't. If I'm trying to think, if the Packers win away today, the team that I would root for. It's not Buffalo, although maybe because I already like the Sabers and I love Josh Allen, and Buffalo hasn't won. And I identify there.
Um, you strike me as a Miami Dolphins guy. Close, Jacksonville. Mmm, I am putting a waiver claim for their defense this week. Yeah, I think I think Jacksonville would be my second team. If it all went to shit, the other team that I like too, which I don't, I don't like.
Like, I still look at them both as expansion teams. But Carolina, and they won last night. Did they ever?
Well, that was close. Detroit had a bit of a comeback. That last possession that they had was probably one of the worst possessions I've seen in quite some time. I mean, that was what play calls were that awful. But as much as I'm not a Jaden or CJ guy, I am a Bryce Young truth.
Yeah, you never got off of that train, and you know what? Good for you. I mean, if you're if you're uninitiated and you don't know, Bryce Young is having arguably his best season so far. It's right now; he's the leader for comeback player of the year. He's got close to 1,300 yards, I think, nine scores, and and two picks.
Like. This guy's putting up numbers, man. When they play well, the the Panthers are humming. Yeah, they look good, and that's who killed me last night was Bryce and Tederaola. Yeah, I had Jared Goff, so him throwing 400 yards and and barely getting that score, it was nice.
But yeah, I really need Drake London to hook me up today. If you faced McMillan, you lost, and I'm sorry. There's nothing you can do. Or Ceedee Lamb. That was another guy.
So your day, you went to the game. You walked home. You told me. Ah, yes, I definitely did not get behind the wheel of of a motor, a vehicle, because that would be ah negligent and illegal. I I obeyed.
Not listen to me for anything I say in all of my PSAs, friend. I I definitely stay three feet away from bicycle bicyclists.
Well, that's good. Um, and then you came home and you just passed out at. I I passed. Yeah, I passed out, but basically like seven in the evening. Uh, but I woke up four hours later because I forgot I have a dog.
So you know, we had to walk them, and then I emptied out the car for the wife and like, you know, cleaned it up and shit.
So I still got the grill downstairs that I refused to touch, but I was like, I'll clean it today. Yeah.
Um, I remember a year ago. Yesterday it was a Brewers playoff game I went to, and it was in the day, and I came home about six o'clock, and my wife and kid were out at some event, so I went to bed. That's great. I think the next morning I got up at about five a.m. on Sunday, and I I was like, I'll get my steps in now, so I went for a walk.
And I was like stunned. How many people were out and about on a Sunday at 5 a.m. Yeah, just up and down Shorewood, Wisconsin. It was nuts. And I said, I'll make a habit of this.
I like being up. Nope. And and now I no I haven't. I'm also thinking a lot of like this week. The Brewers have these late games that would start right when our show started.
Oh, somebody played our the open. Oh, what the hell's the song? Crazy Town, Butterfly.
So it's Butterfly. Yeah, somebody played it at the tailgate yesterday. I'm like, oh man, that takes me back to when I was employed. For as much of a stink we've put up about not having jobs, boy, am I happy I don't work those hours. I'm happy I don't work those hours, but I'm severely crushed I don't work any hours.
Wow, I mean, yeah, brutal. That's true. I'm coming down in the basement, and I'm still doing stuff at night, but it's it's way different. Yeah, I like your hat, by the way, even though I hate your team. That is a very sharp hat.
I get a lot of kudos on this hat. It's not a flat brim. It's ah, I do wear it kind of flat. It could be more curved, but I like these boat hats with the stripe, and it's a color of brewer hat. That you never see.
It's aqua. That's exactly why I like it. Aqua is a good color. I was going to say it's like teal, but yeah, it's oh teal. Yeah, that's fine.
Gorgeous hat. Um, and it would probably work with almost any team. I got this at the pro shop. I was stunned. I got it at the pro shop.
I like to buy one new brewer hat a year at the pro shop. I like to buy a pro shop hat. Every year, I did not get one this year, though. You call it the Pro Shop, man. I call it the Team Store.
Yeah, I do call it the Pro Shop. That's a that's an odd thing. It really sounds like a golf type of.
Well, I'm thinking Packers Pro Shop because it's where the pros shop. That's what.
So yeah, I always call I always call it the Pro Shop, and I go for Team Store. It says Team Store.
Okay, it says Team Store. I'm probably. One of very few that call it the Pro Shop. Got it. Semantics, because you know you're still uh you're still buying merch.
Still buying merch. Maybe I'll go get some playoff merch if they go a little further. Also, it is the best place in town to buy trading cards. They have tops cards for three ninety nine a pack. How about that?
Yeah, cheapest in town. It's almost like uh they should be giving you a discount code or um some type of commission. For doing that impromptu read, no, I you know I like to promote for business. I like to promote the people that are into the Winkler verse, and I also like to give people tips on where they can get the most bang for their buck. Yeah, speaking of box, there's a new article out about Giannis, how he believes in Heat culture now, and that's fuck him.
Honestly, I can't wait for the Heat to you know be a ninth ninth seat again. Maybe maybe they'll finish seventh. Eric Name writing the article, who's from Milwaukee and has lived here his whole life and has covered the Bucks. And then Giannis moved, and the Athletics said, "You need to move too." You are going to Miami, and I don't, I don't think, I don't think he, I don't think he would put up much of a fight. No, no, I think, I think he, he's a Milwaukee guy.
Everyone just assumes. No, Miami's a better place to live than Milwaukee. It is, it is. If I could live in Miami right now, I would. I call it the bro shop because it's the last place where I spoke to my brother ten years ago.
Well, that just got dark. I saw, I saw the up in a window, man. That reminds me of the funniest fight I ever. The funniest fight I ever saw was two guys, like just they, they were like. Cooked out of their brain in like a subway or a Taco Bell or a Taco John somewhere late at night, and they were fighting, fist fighting, and people had to remove them.
And then they're both sitting there, like after the fight, and then they and then they look, and they go, "I love you, brother." I'm sorry.
Sometimes you just got to get it out, man. And then the other guy goes, he goes, "Yeah, I love you too. Happy birthday." That's a lot of pen up, pen up aggression. You know, definitely shit that built up over the years. And you just got to, you know, sometimes you just got to get an outlet and get it out.
It was like wrestlers. It was like two wrestlers that respect each other, and then after. They did the handshake. It was the Shawn Michaels Ric Flair retirement match. Yeah.
Speaking of Shawn, Deshaun Watson. Wow, what a they're three and one. Didn't we talk contenders pretenders last week? Yeah, I'm still not putting the Browns as a contender. I thought the Raiders were going to beat the Chiefs.
They were close. But who's three and one? The Browns. You? Yes, the Browns.
The Giants. The Raiders, yep. The Bills, yeah. Ravens. How about losing to the Patriots?
Drake May is he's he's back. He's no longer the schedule. He's now Drake Drake Maymay. Yeah.
Seahawks, Bears, who are starting Tyson Bajent against the Packers. Caleb will not be back. It will still be Tyson Bajent against the Packers.
So, I'll tell you about my day on Sunday. Sunday, we got up. My kid's been trying out lacrosse.
Okay, yeah, he's never done it before. I don't know that he likes it, but I just wanted to sign him up for a bunch of stuff and see see what sticks. He kind of looks sort of natural holding a stick. He's going to need to be more physical if this is going to be a sport for him. I don't think it is.
I just wanted to try it. But it's Sunday morning, so it's a beautiful day, beautiful fall day on the high school field. The high school where we no longer have high school varsity football. They tried the last two years, couldn't get a program, and now they're disbanding it completely. Wow.
Yeah, so no JV in the future either. No, sorry, kids.
So if I want my kid to fulfill his destiny of being a starting quarterback in high school, yeah, going to have to move. Um, so then we did that.
So then I came home and we watched the the Packers, and my brother came over, and we were bored. This game was boring. This game was boring. I flipped over to Red Zone during the commercials. We followed our teams.
How many times did you see Jason and Kylie Kelsey on the TV again? No, not a lot because we were skipping commercials. We did pretty good. I'm wondering if Directv is still beating that commercial. Oh, they are, they are.
We had Chris Myers on the call and Jonathan Vilma, who once referred to I don't know which team as the Packers. They also the guy that was calling the Badger game was like, "Oh man, this is such this is such great atmosphere. Everyone in Wisconsin and Madison, man, they're really proving it. They're really showing out here at Beaver Stadium, which is, of course, where Penn State plays. Not having a great season, Penn State, by the way." No, Badgers beat them, and we thought it was awesome.
And then they got their ass handed to them by Northwestern. Yeah, who's kind of good. And I kind of want to go down there to a game because that stadium looks cool. Yeah, it's it's pretty close to where my cousin lives. I think I don't think he's not a Northwestern alum.
I forgot where he went. I know he went to UIC, but yeah, Northwestern's not that far. And those librarians didn't they just kick the shit out of like Colorado State a couple weeks ago? Colorado, oh Colorado, Colorado was just like, oh yeah, this place is a dump. It sounds like a library, and then they got skull fucked.
So good for the Huskies. Door to door, my house to Ryan Field is eighty three miles. All right, hour and a half. And my house to Camp Randall is eighty eight miles. God, my dog's farts to my nose is like.
A couple of inches. Jeez, that fucking stinks. I'm closer to Northwestern than I am Madison. Lambo is 113 miles from my house, and Miller Park's nine. Are you okay?
You don't. No, my dog literally just shit in the air. Like it's playing on Google Maps here. You don't seem to care. No, I'm I'm I'm taking the count to the distance of where.
How bad? How bad is this fart? And why can't I do it? It's bad. It's bad.
I I don't know why he's backed up like that, or like it smells like that, because it stinks. And I walked him. He pooped. Don't you ever get tired of doing that? I.
You know what? I I love this dog, and I want him to live forever. But when he dies, I think I'm gonna take a break from having a dog. Because I don't want to get up in the morning, I don't want to do it before bed. I drag myself to do it in the middle of the afternoon.
But he brings endless love and joy as I stare at him. He just looks back at me, even though he just crap the air. I still love him. Good dog. Out of every ten walks where he poops, how many times do you leave the poop there?
Not all, not often. I think I'd almost guess you're a ten of ten or picker upper. I I think that you have. I'm close to a clip, close to a clip. The only time I don't pick it up is when I completely forgot to refill the bags, and then I'm like, "Fuck!" There's just like nothing I can do.
I look around so I just don't look like such a piece of shit. And someone sees me, if there's no one in the area and I got no bags, I just say sorry to the sky and I walk away. If there's someone around, I will make a concerted effort to look around for an alternative method to pick this thing up. I've taken the sleeve from like newspapers and take that plastic sleeve, and I'll wrap that and I'll use that as a baggy.
So, like, I'll go through measures, but I'm not going to kill myself. At the end of the day, if I can't pick that up with some type of buffer between me and my hand and and and the dog shit, it's staying there. Once I finally get this out of my system, I'm just going to detach the toilet from my wall and take it to the to the community dump. I actually got to replace my toilet seat. It's very funny about that.
Here's a bowl full of shit that's been in my intestines for a week. Here's the Chargers, zero and four. Texans are zero and four. They're they're fucking done. Who else is that bad?
Well, the Titans. But no one cares about the Titans. The Dolphins. Oh, in Tampa, Tampa, who would have beat us with Baker? Tampa, who should have probably beat us with Jalen Daniels.
The Packers are very bad. And when I'm telling about my day, those first three hours were very boring. Yeah, thanks for the two interceptions and nothing else. Packers defense. It is very bad.
I think the NFL is a little more bad than last year. Yeah, I don't. I think other than the Chiefs, who's the great team? The product's just not as good. I don't.
This is a down. It seems to be a down season so far.
So far, the penalties are a problem. The games just—I don't know—they feel like they take longer to me. But also, the Packers are playing like the worst brand of football possible. And Tyler Dunn's article about Matt Lafleur over the weekend. Basically, just reaffirmed everything that I just insinuated about Lafleur.
Like, I bet Lafleur is the kind of guy that blank, blank, blank. And then this article is like, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep. He does this. Yep. Here's an example.
Here's five of them.
Somebody had a tweet where they went to the game yesterday just to watch Lafleur, and they were like, he doesn't talk to anyone on the sidelines. Like at times, it's like he's there, independent of the team.
So, miss me with all this. He's so smart. He's so smart. Sure, he might be knowledgeable about things, but then how do you put that into practice? He cannot do it.
He cannot do it. He was given a job that he cannot do. And I'm going to keep saying it until they fire him. And I can't believe people are still pushing back on me against this. But either way, we're going to hire Bart.
Yeah, I know. But the team itself, Lafleur is not the only problem. I think when people, when people, I don't know, people get mad that you can't you can't complain about one thing without complaining about everything. But the team's terrible, and everybody's hurt. The running backs are atrocious.
Yeah, they're really bad. I finally traded away Josh Jacobs. You did for what?
Well, at the time, I thought it was a fleece of a century. I traded Josh Jacobs and Quinshon Jenkins for Saquon Barkley. And then Saquon Barkley gets hurt, and I'm like, "Fuck!" Oh, didn't your league veto that at first? Then they, the commissioner got pummeled into the ground. And allowed all the trades.
Oh, dude! We have a hilarious fantasy football punishment for the guy who finishes last. Please, I need to know. Yeah, my league is so soft; doesn't do shit. The guy who finishes last in our league, he gets to pick first the following year.
That's fucking crazy. I mean, it's almost as crazy as Pat McAfee taking off his shirt. And doing a switcheroo of his picks in front of Caitlin Clark. Wow, so crazy, man! This guy is reinventing how TV works.
Oh my god, it worked every single penny. It's so good. All right, so then the Packer game mercifully came to an end, and came to an end before the Brewers game was to start, which was great. The Brewers game's on. The Padres.
Are up to nothing again as they were the other night. Seen that movie twice, and the Brewers do a good job of not letting these one-run innings turn into two or three. I mean, they had three errors yesterday. They had an error from the shortstop, second baseman, and third baseman for the first time since COVID, I think, or since that season, which actually doesn't like that. That's not that long ago.
That's a They they an error by the shortstop, third baseman, and second baseman in the game for the first time in six years. That feels like it shouldn't happen every six years. Yeah, but whatever. But then this last moment, Gary Sanchez's at bat was great. I don't know how these guys weren't swinging on Miller, but Jackson Churio comes up, fights him off, and then delivers.
And Jackson had a quote that I want to read from after the game. One of the reporters said, "You've told us before. You feel like you were born for these moments. When did you first feel that way? How old were you?
Or were you? Do you actually even remember a moment where you're like, 'This is what I was born to do'? Great question." And he said, "I've been thinking a lot about this lately, and I think back to my first year, my rookie year. It was a game against Seattle." And I was punched out against Munoz, who was pitching. He was on the mound, and I was the last out.
And he said, at that point, everything turned for me. I told myself, I am never going to make the last out again. I dedicated myself to fighting and doing whatever I could for the team, and never having that specific feeling from that specific game. And when you watch Churio, he's done this a couple of times this season now. He knows the game's not end, or it's ending with him, but in a good way.
Like, he's up there, and he know he's he basically knows he's going to win the game. It's just a matter of, on what pitches are going to happen. Again, I don't want to say the word that rhymes with Schmirl Meeres. They're up two zero on the Padres. We were up two on the Cubs last year.
They did win that series. It did go five. I don't think it comes back to Milwaukee. I don't think this one's going five. I think so.
You know, I feel good about tomorrow. Even it's over. It's over for Padres. All I'm going to say is that it feels different. Yes, in a way, it's never.
This doesn't feel like 2008. This doesn't feel like 2011. This doesn't even feel like 2018 when they got the game seven of the NLCS. It doesn't feel like 19 or 20 or 21 or any of these other years. It feels completely different.
Maybe it's a buy again. Maybe it's 103. But I'll tell you what's very important for me, and I think the Brewers is they didn't have to play the Cubs. Yeah, San Diego took care of that. Cubs didn't make it last year.
Carlos didn't get into playoffs. Last year, that was the Brewers World Series. Absolutely, it was. From council to the Wrigley North to the L flag to the L flag was the first time they paired up in the postseason. This was absolutely their World Series, and they put a lot of emotion into it.
Not that they're not putting it into this series, but then they came down pretty hard against the Dodgers, where they didn't score a run. If nothing else, if the Brewers play the Dodgers as that series is split, right. If the Brewers play the Dodgers, they'll do much better than getting swept. They'll at least win a game, I will say. Yeah, I don't, I don't.
To be honest, I haven't. I've taken a little step back from this playoffs because obviously my team shit the bed, as I predicted that they would. Right, told you that this was gonna be a fucking sweep, not because I was trying to do a reverse Jinx, but because I did not believe in the offense when it goes cold, it goes freezing, ice age cold. And decided the rotation just decided to say, "Oh no, we're gonna make sure that these games are no doubt early." And you know, Kevin Gausman was throwing meatballs. Matt Boyd was throwing meatballs.
You know, the rotation never gave the team a chance. But the offense was gonna get a chance anyway. Fuck the Cubs. I'm done with them until February.
So I took a little step back, but I am watching these playoffs intently. And as someone who actively roots against the Brewers and everybody else in the NL Central, not name the Cubs. This seems like this is going to be a black, dark cloud of a postseason for me, because I am right now watching a collision course of the the inevitable meetup of the Yankees from the American League and the Brewers from National League. I don't think the Braves nor the Dodgers this year are going to make it past Milwaukee. the The World Deereys.
Is going to run through Milwaukee this year, but it's not a reverse jinx. That's impossible because it never has, and I'm not counting 1957. Yeah, it's not. This is not me trying to throw a hex on you. I'm not trying to do a curse or you know you know jinx or any of that shit.
This year is different, man. I i i i i live I live in a world where the Philadelphia Eagles have won Super Bowl championships.
So the most hated teams I that I root against. Have gone to the mountaintop. Why not the Brewers? It really feels like you guys. This is your year.
But like I said for Buffalo last year, the Buffalo Bills, rather. If it, if you don't do it last year, you're never doing it. Brewers, if you're not doing it this year, you're never doing it. This is the Dodgers are there for the taking, and that's if they get past the Braves. I think you guys take either one of those teams out.
I agree with you on that. If not now, then never. Then never, because they've had their chances, and it's not the perfect team. They're still—we don't know what we're going to get out of Dustin May in Game Three. We don't know if Kyle Harrison's worthy of starting in the postseason.
You know, we don't—we don't know. We don't know what's going to happen. The Dodgers are stacked. The Braves are very good. Even this Padres team is loaded.
Like they should probably lost. They should probably be down to nothing.
Well, I think at the you really should have been one one because I don't know how I don't know how that two run shot from France wasn't a home run. I think it's a home run anywhere else in Tampa. I think it's like a home run, but not in in New York Stadium. It's very weird. I've never seen a ball do that.
That how that that's ruled an out, but um, it is. I think you guys should have lost game one. You won game two. Is your series a split right now? One one.
Well, game two, even the things that they had, like the pitches that they had to either take or foul off in that ninth inning, where the bases were loaded via walks, and then Sanchez's at bat was insane. I thought for sure he was going to swing. Inside on a slider or something, and then Churio was tremendous. But even when Churio hit the ball, like Jake Cronenworth on Saturday had an amazing catch, yeah. And Taurang had a great one.
I didn't mention that yesterday. Taurang had a good one too in Sunday's game. But they always say on the Padres broadcast, you don't hit it into the Kroen zone because Cronenworth is such a good defender. And he's catching balls that you would never even think had a chance of being caught. And the way that Churio hit it, if you look at the umpire view, I don't.
I think Miller, like it was right by the pitcher. Cronenworth didn't get a jump on it until too late, because that ball wasn't like right up the middle. It was like past, just past Cronenworth. The fact that that got through the infield to begin with. Was a miracle in and of itself.
Yelich scores. Freyla comes around.
So they could have easily lost both these games. But that's you look at this Brewer season. There's a lot of these games they could have easily lost. They just don't. It's it's almost akin to that Chiefs year where we were saying, yeah, they shouldn't be this good, but at some point.
You have to factor in that they know how to win these kind of games. Yeah, they. What I said about the Chiefs was they've figured out how to be lucky. Like they figured out the situation in which luck will benefit them. Better to be lucky than good, but you don't get good luck without like.
Good luck comes to those that have earned. That are good. That are also good. Yeah.
Right. We have the tech to get food delivered in 15 minutes, but we all have horror stories about buying tickets. The Game Time app gives fans the advantage. Get amazing tickets in just a few taps. Fees are included, so what you see is what you pay.
And the Game Time guarantee means authentic tickets at the best price every time. Take the guesswork out of buying tickets to concerts, sports, comedy. And more with Game Time. Download the Game Time app and create an account for twenty dollars off your first purchase. Terms apply.
So I do think there's some of that with this Brewers team, but that's just the thing that the biggest thing is this postseason run doesn't feel like it's anywhere close to over, and it doesn't feel like any that I've been a part of before. Whatever that ends up being, I don't know, but it does feel different. It does not feel like same old Brewers. Yeah, it feels different, and I'm so excited. This was—I know you're a Cubs guy.
This was the best Brewers weekend of my lifetime. I don't—I don't know. Like, there's been playoff wins on a Saturday, maybe a loss on a Sunday. Um, this is—I don't know. Even the Cubs won last year.
This is just different. It's just different. I think because that thing on Saturday night. Normally, we, as in Wisconsin sports, invent ways to lose games. Yeah, and the broadcast is screaming, "It's a—it's gotta be a home run!" And we're like, "Oh, that's gonna be the weird way we lose this time," but we didn't.
We won because of it, so it just feels different. Yeah, it feels totally different. And congratulations, good luck with the Yankees and the World Beers. What about the Rays? What about two small market teams before the strike?
You know what? The Rays are the Rays are currently up right now, right? I completely forgot about that. Ah, I don't think baseball wants the Brewers and Rays. I'm not saying that a call will be placed.
But I don't think we're getting two small market teams. Plus, Cam Slatter is still that dude. What are they going to do about it? Ah, make sure that the Rays lose somehow. How are you going to do that?
You can't do that in baseball. I don't know. Maybe Junior Caminero trips over a sprinkler that was raised, like that Buffalo Wild Wings commercial, and like sprains his ankle or something. Oh. Or maybe baseball is just like Yandy Diaz just gets a mysterious bout of you know coronavirus.
Oh, I am worried about. Drews Rasmussen is. I don't know what's going on in Russia. Yeah, some biological agent has escaped their lab. That's like twenty times deadlier than COVID.
Listen, just fucking kill me already, because the the the debt collectors are not calling. Are are are haven't stopped calling.
So, give me another coronavirus. I talk about this a lot. Let's wipe them out with Mike Wicket. Wicket, I was on one of his shows in February of 2020, or I had him on mine. And congrats to Wicket, by the way.
Right? Didn't he get like a you know a new show back in Des Moines or Daily Show? He's on every day of the week now. He's he's employed. It's great.
Yeah, he's he's got the career that I thought I was going to have. He though we talked in February of 2020, like February 25th, and he said, "What do you think is going to stop the Bucks from winning a title?" And I said, "I'm kind of worried about whatever this coronavirus is." I saw some video in China and Italy. Yeah, and he's like, "Ah, yeah, yeah." Um. And then it shut down the league. Yes, they had to play in a bubble, where it did not apply to Rachel, Rachel Nichols, and Jimmy Butler.
It did not. Um, but now this time, I'm not losing the Brewers going to the Flurled Fleeries because of. Whatever is happening in Russia, you might better better hope that it doesn't come for another month. But it's coming. But COVID.
See, here's what here's what they did to us. Ready? And do I say this facetiously or do I mean it? What that they canceled the biggest championship because. And this is something I would have said on our St.
John's on the court, like, "What the hell are we doing here?" This is something I would have said on our radio show. Very curious that COVID happened at all, and the lockdown procedures were maybe more aggressive than they needed to be. And I've always said, look, it's a fear of the unknown. We don't know what this is, so we err on the side of caution. But then, they were so tight on people that we'll never listen to them again.
So it's very, it's very clear. If another COVID ever happens, we're just saying. Caseira, yeah, yeah. If if I die, I die. Then, they're like, "Oh boy, we've developed AI super fast.
We don't need humans." So we have to kill them. We have our replacement.
So we need to kill. All these humans, we can have the top richest people enjoy all the fruits of the world, and we don't have to worry about. Oh, I need a raise. Oh, I need time off. Oh, my dad's sick; I can't come into work.
No, here, here is your family leave. Bam, death.
So then, they're like, "Well, how do we kill these people?" Oh, let's do another pandemic. And we can make it twenty times worse, because they're going to be twenty times less likely to do anything about it. I don't need no mask. Long story short, you guys bitching at me about masks six years ago is the reason the Brewers aren't going to win the World Series, because we'll all be dead. I don't want to live in a world where the Brewers win the World Series.
So you know what? Would that really affect you that much? I live in a world where the Cubs win it. Yeah, but the Cubs are nice.
Well, why can't we be nice? No. Why can't we win? I don't want you to. Why?
Cause we have nothing. I want you to continue to have nothing because right now you have everything that I don't have. Fucking division titles. Eric Name has to move from Milwaukee to Miami. Everyone thinks that's an immediate upgrade.
No one wonders could this person actually like Milwaukee more. There are people on this planet that want to live in Milwaukee by choice. I'm one of them. But we still get overlooked all the time.
So if WQTM comes through and like, hey, we need somebody for Morning Drive. What's up? I could never do it. That's you have to be a fan. You have to be a diehard fan.
You have to know. You have to know. I have to know their version of Hank the dog. I have to know their version of Brandon Bostick. I have to know their version of Todd Day.
I have to know all their versions of these things. I have to know everything, and you can't know that without growing up and living it. I can't be like, "Hey, Miami won a title. Good for you guys. Good for us." Convert, and I'm saying that a hurled Herees is the missing piece to get Milwaukee the respect as a city it finally deserves.
Because we thought the RNC was going to do that two years ago, and they made downtown a prison and didn't let anybody go anywhere. And then half of this town, you got people walking around with giant fucking tampons on their ear. If I offered you a Milwaukee girl series, but you have to move to Miami after afterwards, you doing it? Forget Miami aside. You guys win this World Series, but you have to move to where?
Anywhere, not Milwaukee. You gotta get out.
Well, I don't want to move. You, you gotta move. You gotta got a job offer from insert place here. Your team just won a championship. Doesn't that a fair question?
Sure is. I listen because I know. I have to uproot my kids' life. He's. But you know what?
I know he's only seven, but he's he's a hot shot in this little community. You get a twirl, Tyrese, out of it. You gotta go. There is no, there is no other war. If you stay in Milwaukee, the Yankees, the Rays, the Braves, the Dodgers, they win the Krogeries.
I would do it for the Brewers and not for the Packers or Bucks. They've already won. All right, now we got that in wax. I would do it. I'll do whatever you need.
I'll spend a night with you. You guys will be losing because I'm not doing that. I don't sacrifice myself. If if it guaranteed the Brewers won the World Series, he said it. Ah, he said it.
I would do just about anything. Short of murder or direct harm to my family, you're not a you're not a real fan. I'm clapping ops. I'm letting it out the window for another championship. No, life's too precious.
Pack them up. Life's too precious. Not my off's lives. I wouldn't do that if you could press a button and someone died, and you don't know who that person was, but you got a billion dollars. I would not do that.
I'm I'm hitting the button more than once. No, some kid in Cambodia just got murdered. What if? What if? Sorry, my life is.
What if someone I love just plops dead because some guy in Cambodia won a billion dollars? I go. Why are we offering this to everybody? I need to know who else is is getting the offer, but I'm taking it.
Someone in Lithuania gone off the earth. I hit the button. The button forms right here. I'm head butting it.
Someone in Denmark gone. Oh, Robert says Bart, would you only give two feet to bikers on the road for a World Series? Oh. Now that would be breaking the law. I would not murder anyone.
I would not do anything to cars cause harm to my family, and I would not break any laws of safety on the road. Other than that, I'd do anything for a World Series. You have to get a golf simulator from somewhere else other than Carl's place. Oh, I okay.
So four things I would never do. You have to get your insurance from somebody other than Dan Shaney. Five things I would never do. Don't ask about the gummies because I already had different gummies today. This episode is brought to you by Miralax MiraFast Soft Chews, gentle relief in thirty minutes to six hours.
Bort. Hasn't kicked in quite yet because you're still here. I better take a shit so bad it hurts. I want to be able to come off that toilet seat going, oh yeah. I want to have to limp to school to pick up my kid.
If you want to, if you want your knees to hurt and you want to guarantee limp, run a half marathon. I still can't walk. Yeah, what'd you do that for? Because I'm a fucking idiot. I was like, I was training.
My first half marathon was supposed to be in November. That's what I've been training for. Uh, yeah, I have my my my training regimen and all that stuff. I'm following my plan. Uh, Friday nights or afternoon, rather.
I got a text like, "Hey, I can't make it to my half marathon. Um, do you want it? It's free." I said, "Fuck it, I'll do it." Friday night, yeah.
So I thought the day before is when I found out.
So you already training for one? I'm always already training for one, but it's not for another six weeks. I was supposed to go according to my training plan. I was supposed to go on a nine mile easy run on Saturday.
So I said, "Why not just add another four point one miles to it?" How was it? And get a medal? It was actually brutal because this course was not an easy course. This course was Palisades, New Jersey, and I know a lot of people are not from the area. Let's just say there's a lot of hills, so the elevation of this course was was double the double the elevation elevation you would get in New York City.
So I there are certain points of this course I am running up, including the very first mile, where I'm running a vertical mile up.
So my legs are fucking destroyed. Two miles into this thing.
Well, thank God. I mean, wow! For you being here, you had a half marathon on Saturday, and then you destroyed your liver on Sunday to be able to sit up functioning the next day is the healthiest version of Carlos on Saturday, and the unhealthiest version of Carlos on Sunday, combined to make a whole Carlos somehow being here right now. We're not ready to. Go the distance, but I am.
There is some movement downstairs, so I'm going to go see what that's about. Thank you for joining me. You're very welcome. I hope you enjoy your poo. If anyone has any questions, when was my last marathon?
Off. Come on, I did a half triathlon once. A half a lon? That's cool. Yeah.
Yeah, Carlos. Thank you. You're very welcome. I guess I'll see you all same time, same Bart place, same Bart channel. Yeah, we'll have tomorrow and also post game after Brewers Padres game three.
Enjoy your sleep. Until then, I think so too. Thanks for stopping into the Winkler verse. We have the tech to get food delivered in 15 minutes, but we all have horror stories about buying tickets. The Game Time app gives fans the advantage.
Get amazing tickets in just a few taps. Fees are included, so what you see is what you pay. And the Game Time guarantee means authentic tickets at the best price every time. Take the guesswork out of buying tickets to concerts, sports, comedy, and more with Game Time. Download the Game Time app and create an account.
For twenty dollars off your first purchase. Terms apply.
