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Yeah Good afternoon, everybody. Welcome Ian to the Winklerverse. It is another mm-hmm mm-mm Tuesday. Gran Phil's alongside. Paul Emmig is here.
The latest in my hat saga. Um I've I've I'm one hat down because I Did you catch that story, Grant? The cars in front of my school weren't slowing down, so I threw a hat and then it got run over. That's right, yeah. If you're on the Dan Shaney YouTube stream, I've got my pink Milwaukee County Zoo hat.
which I'm particularly fond of, but I can't wear it anymore. Because somebody else at school pickup has started wearing the hat. Which one? This one, this pink hat, County Zoo. Two people with the County Zoo pink hat and the pickup line.
Yeah, so I can't. Wear it. No, I don't know if she saw me wear it and then bought it. And is expecting like. Probably.
You know, at some point he's going to come back up to me. But as you guys know, I'm a man of many hats. I just uh I don't want I can't wear, I just can't wear it. And I then have to talk to her and I don't know her and I don't know that fucking shit. Anyway, how are you guys?
Good. I don't have a hat saga.
So, I mean, I guess. It sounds good.
Well I could go stands. Yeah. Sans hat. I just I can't Look at this. Look at me.
It's not great. Yeah. Thanks, by the way. You're like Dave Matthews in that you've always been a little bald, but I don't know that you're getting more bald. You know what I mean?
Yeah. Or maybe you are getting more bald and you just hide it because you always have a hat on. I don't know. But I. Do you know what I'm doing?
You just kind of seem to have the same amount of hair you've always had. Problems back here. Yeah. Grant, you know the other the other thing that Bart has in common with Dave Matthews? WhatsApp.
I wake up in the morning. I was going to go. He eats too much. He drinks too much. Oh, that's a good one, too.
Too much. Mow, meow, meow. Get us rolling Paul. All right. I want to do I want to bring back a A Bart Winkler Show National.
I don't think you did this on the local show. I want to do a worse than five. Oh, okay. I think I did do worse than five at the end. Didn't you do with freemes, or what did you do?
I did five. I, you know, I didn't five for freemes was just. By yourself for freems. And then, um. Worse than five?
No, that's just my power rankings. Didn't you do like a top five and worst best? Like, you yeah, worst than five.
Okay, that's worse. That's what I do. Five best. I want to do worse than five Milwaukee brewers. Oh god.
I only worked on it. You know what I realized about the Brewers? I would also like to do this. I think if we could with like. Maybe other Packers brewers we gotta start with brewers because it's most relevant but go ahead I like what was the last series they just played?
Pittsburgh? Mm-hmm. I didn't catch much of Friday or Saturday. Mm-hmm. And then I'm watching Sunday and like...
They make roster moves so frequently. I didn't realize Tyler Black was up. Oh yeah. Luis Matos, DFA. Yeah, and then there's some other.
Who's the other guy? I didn't know who he was. Greg Jones. Oh, yeah. Where are these?
I mean, I'm a Brewers fan. I follow this team. Where are these guys coming from? And that that's that's what I've so I when I just don't think that I'll ever get back to You know, when I was. doing the show You gotta watch it every day.
Yeah. But then you're just trying to live a normal non-sports host life. Like, okay, I can't watch much of tonight. I have soccer practice. I can't watch much of tomorrow because I'll be getting s fucking ripped.
I don't know. I didn't think of anything different. But I don't, if you miss a couple of days, it's like: who the fuck is this team? There have been some lineups recently. That Are rough.
Like, it's not a surprise that you see like five, what is it, five games, six games in a row with no home runs, grand. But like you look at the line, like, oh, that tracks. Like, that's exactly what probably. I still don't think they've hit a, I don't think they've hit a home run since tax day, I think is the day. Whoa.
Unless I missed one. Tax day is coming up still. Doesn't. Missed my taxes joke. I laughed.
I got what you were. It was okay. I'm still laughing. I'm still in the midst of a laugh. I'm still currently.
In fact, it's accelerating further. Should have let it breathe more. There was still room there to let it grow. I thought myself about making a tax day joke, and then you just picked up the, and I'm still, I'm nearing the end here, but the laugh is continuing almost into a smile. It's almost almost long enough that it might affect my mood.
It might even, this might, I might be happy right now. I'm glad I can provide that. Actually, here's what I know. I want to do worse than five brewers, and then I want to do worse than five NBA playoffs, playoff teams. Ooh, fun.
I've been doing sprinkle some NBA into the show this week. I just, I'm dabbling. I'm getting there.
So, wait, should we start NBA playoffs course? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, let's go. I've been mentally preparing for this for the last two months.
So, here's what I'm gonna ask. At first, I was gonna do it as like a, you know, there's an expansion tomorrow, you get to keep five, and you get a lot of five. That's the classic Bart. And you but but you get to send you get to send one guy to the moon, never to return to the brewers. The moon's not far enough away for I want to send this fucking guy.
I want to send him where no man has gone before. Mm. The movement? Yes. Yes.
Man, you set us up so perfectly, Brad. But so, like, if we do it as worse than five, then like Churio's. Not part of the mix, right? I just want to agree on the ground rules. Yeah, I don't think injured, I think Churio and Vaughn should be disqualified.
I think Yellet should be disqualified right now, too. Are we doing pictures or everyone? Everybody. All right. So I'm going to propose.
Bryce Terang, Gary Sanchez.
Okay. William Contreras Jacob Mizarowski. And Brandon Woodruff. I don't know. Kyle Harrison.
I mean, I think.
Some of this has to be subjective, too. There is going to be.
So I'll put some.
Well, Harrison can't just have one good start, and then it's like. Never trade with Milwaukee again. I mean, he's been excellent. He's been great. It's not just.
I do think Cone Roller pointed this out on my show. Dr. Roller. On Monday. Dr.
Roller. That was, he's not an ace, but that was an ace performance when the team really needed it. All right, I'm going to go Mizarowski, Harrison, Terang. Sanchez and Contreras. Sanchez.
He's I mean Yeah, I kind of forgot about him. He probably needs to be in there. I mean, I'll take that. Let me piggyback off that. I'll sprinkle a little.
I would also go Terang Contreras. Harrison's in there because. I think the season needs him. Like he, we need him to pitch well because that's like a positive development. Like, all right, the bullpen's struggling, we have injured, but hey, look at we got this Kyle Harrison guy.
So I think he's in there.
So, Terrain Contreras. Uh Harrison Bowers.
Okay. Who's been legit awesome? Are you putting Bowers ahead of Garrett Mitchell, who's actually in no particular order. I'm not sending Garrett Mitchell to Mars, but he's certainly not in my top five.
Okay. Ms. is a fair one. He's got it. Don't you think he has to be?
They've lost his last four starts. Miz is in. Miz is in. But I think he's been very, very good. Yeah.
Um I think that would be my five. I would swap Sanchez and Bowers, but I think both have been really crucial. Yeah, to a team that's slightly above 500. Wait, Bart, before I go to you, Grant, best in two, worst in two, your top two. I would have said Terang and Miz would have been my starting point.
Your first two? Yeah. Um terang, yes. Maybe Bowers may have dude. They're porked without him.
He's been so important to them. Yeah. Yeah. I have their, I know it's early, it's just a month, but I have the Brewers leaders by war. I was going to say, when I said this was subjective earlier, I also thought, or you could just look up war, and I guess you could have a way to quantify this.
End the debate. Uh terang's at 1.2. He's the only one. North of one. Yeah, I'm guessing that.
Yeah. Contreras is 0.5. Yelich is 0.4 along with Sanchez. And then point three is Mitchell Lockridge and David Hamilton. Yeah.
For pitchers leading in war. Would be Kyle Harrison.8. Chad Patrick 0.7. Ashby and Ms. point four.
Woodruff, Anderson, and D.L. Hall at point three. Yeah, like Coleman Crow was here for a day, and great start. Carlos Rodriguez. A brilliant, by the way, a fucking brilliant trade for our friend David Stearns.
Sent us Coleman Crow for the corpse of. Adrian Hauser and Who's the other?
Some outfielder. Who was it? Ah. They were shitty, though, whoever it was. Great trade, David Stearns.
Appreciate it. Send us another one. The worst in war is Anheld Zerpa. Yeah. But that was the Isaac Collins deal.
Yep. And Nick Mears. Yeah, Mears. Mearsy. Coach Mears.
I looked at it because I'm looking at Fangraft's War now, and it has Sproat. and Zerpa both at Minus 0.2. On the page. Did you throat go to thing yet or no? Is that pretty good?
But is are people wearing shirts that say sprout goat? Yeah. I think it was Onabaum when he was first acquired, tweeted that picture of Nancy Reagan with that caption. Yeah. I need to start like.
I would like to see if people would buy merch. I would like to do that. But I also want to be one of these guys that, like, has a store that whenever there's like a Three-hour funny joke meme happening. They immediately have a fucking t-shirt in the worst fucking font with the shittiest graphic. Like I could just like Oh, the Brews lost again.
Whisko in three shirts. Bye-weather. Fucking hot for the next 15 minutes. That's funny. That's a good business model to get into.
Obvious shirts, they've pioneered it. Yeah. Bart, your final five? Best in the best in five? Um Ms.
Ms., I guess Harrison, Terang. Contreras. And Come on, mix one in there, sell me on somebody. Yeah. Oh Ashby, come on.
Oh no, it'd be a batter. Not many to choose from. Let's go uh Let's go with uh I'm just gonna do four. This is Pat Murphy putting together the lineup. Let's go with: do we have to?
We need nine? Can we bat Harrison pick up the bat? Woody! You got the stick today, bud. Garrett Mitchell.
So here's the thing. I think up until this point, Garrett Mitchell has been very important for them. I don't think he's good, but what he's given them so far this year has allowed them to not be four or five games underwater. Yeah. Fucking Timu Ryan Braun.
Yeah, oh boy. See, that could be a t-shirt. Another t-shirt. Remember, Ryan Rossillo came up with the phrase print the shirts and has been referencing it for 20 years. Like, that's the most genius.
Like, are you guys familiar with this? You don't listen to Rosillo. No. It's fine. Never mind.
I was going to reference Rasillo in the context. I was thinking about the radio days of ESPN of course. When Bart was talking about starting with, I wasn't prepared to talk any Rasillo just now.
So it took me out there. That's a very meta-rasillo joke. Yes, Paul. Go ahead. No, I was going to say I was going to mention Rosillo in the context when Bart was mentioning his merch store.
I was like, oh, I just picked up my recent RSLO gear.
So. Winkler, just take out the vowels. There you go. That's what the store is called. That's what you do these days.
That that that would be You're getting that sick Winkler merch. There, that's how it looks. Yep, there you go. That's it. No, no, I put an E in there.
No, E, no, E. No, E. I don't even know how to spell my name. Do you ever spell your name wrong? I do.
Winkler. That's the name of. See, you hire four or five people, and you don't just talk about sports, you also talk about pop culture. But here's the thing: you don't take yourself too seriously. You like to have fun too.
Like, that's that type of thing, that's that. That's lacking. Yes. Yeah. And we have a great six months and then lay off 30% of the staff.
And then slowly stop covering the black hawks. Yep. And then look to Turn the company around by Uh escalator lawsuits. Yeah. Typically how that goes.
Worst, Blast One of the Moon. Uh It's got to be Joey Ortiz. It has to be Ortiz, doesn't it? A catcher struck him out. They're actively trying to bench him for David Hamilton.
They're, they're, so the answer, the correct answer is Joey Ortiz. I think a fun answer. None of these are fun. If I never watch any of these guys hit ever again, Sal Freelick, here's the thing. Joey Ortiz sucks and has always mostly sucked as a hitter.
Sal Freelich isn't supposed to suck. And Sal Freelick, for most of the season, basically all this season, has blended in with this lineup of nobodies. Like, if you had never watched the Brewers before this year, you would draw no line between the player Sal Freelich is and Greg Jones or Luis Matos and Blake Perkins. And that's horrifying. Who?
Greg Jones. Yeah. He could be the worst, too. I mean, just a worthless player. Little Mike Jones bit.
If I have to grant, what's the left side of the infield on game one on game 82, halfway point? Alec Fregman. The problem yeah, ooh, that'd be based. I mean Uh it Or T's and Hamilton, probably. Please, I mean, you're supposed to say something optimistic or like something to look forward to.
Is the lineup out today yet? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You guys, well, it's two.
So, do you remember? Maybe Paul would remember this. Grant, you were probably in your diapers. It was like five years ago. Um But do you remember when Hodra Court would have the lineup first?
There was a period where the first place that the lineup was, oh, I was on his Twitter. Brewer's blog. The JSN Brewers blog. Wasn't he because wasn't he using the picture from the locker room from the that was Twitter era, but he used to just You'd have to go to Brewer's blog.
Somebody in the comments, like and subscribe if you remember with me. Um And then I felt like when other people were able to tweet. The lineup? I felt like I felt like A little bit of Tom died. I don't think he was a I think he was a changed man after.
He started at that point planning his second career running a brewery in northern Wisconsin. I've always felt very, I've felt very important at spring training when Murph shows us the lineup. Don't put it out. Don't put it out. It's like as if anyone gave a shit about the spring training lineup, but there is something.
There's something very seeing a lineup before the general public can see it. Like, I could see why Hodge. It's fun to know a secret. It's funny. It is.
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Secure your play and go to ipvanish.com. Yeah. Brent, who's your, who's your don't go looking at my shared Spotify playlist, but it's fun to share a secret. Boy, oh boy. I think it has to be Ortiz.
Mm-hmm. And you and you think he's you think he's And or Hamilton are. It's their job in 2026. This season? Yeah.
Um I think the brewers would the brewers are actively trying to Get Joey Ortiz to third so they can play Hamilton at short and then they can replace Ortiz at third. I just don't know who's. Unless they trade for someone, which I see, here's the thing. David Stearns traded for Adamas. Matt Arnold doesn't make that move.
He doesn't give up Rasmussen. Like, that's just, that's Matt Arnold, is not seeking someone from the outside. And I don't think Pratt or Jet Williams Pratt's not a good hitter anyways. He's not hitting well right now. Chat.
Like both of those players are really struggling at triple A.
So, no, neither one of those guys are the solution currently, I don't think. Boy, Stern sucks ass, huh? With money can't do shit. I was just looking at a picture I had with. Stearns, Mark A.
Council in the Cube House. Yeah. It's a shame those four will never be together again. Yeah. Even in the afterlife.
Oh, I know at least two of them are going to hell. The Mets fans might send Stearns directly there before too long. Who's already firing their manager already?
Well, I was just about to say, I think the only reason they haven't fired Mendoza yet is because the second Stearns does, he's next. You know what I mean? Mm, little shield. Yeah, Mendoza's his shield right now. Little protection.
Like the Red Sox, I think Breslo fired Cora because he thought Cora was gonna stab him in the back and go to the owner because the owner loves Cora, right?
So, like, that kind of made sense. The second that Stearns fires Mendoza, everyone's looking right at him. No one's going to blame the interim. I'm happy Don Mattingly's back on the bench. He's one of my all-time favorite players.
How about that? And his son's the GM, is that right? For who? The Phillies?
Well, Dombrowski is the head guy, but maybe the president of baseball ops. I don't know if they have a GM entitle. I don't know. You see shit online. It's like.
Is this real? Preston Mattingly is an executive. He's the GM of the Phillies. Interesting.
Well That's Don's son. Ortiz is my worst. Yeah. Jack Williams and Cooper Pratt are not ready. Jet Williams, you don't think c comes up this year?
I mean, maybe. I mean, like, comes up for more than like. Is the cup of coffee?
Well, here's the thing. When the brewers replace Joey Ortiz, I think they want it to be permanent. Like, I think once they bring up his replacement. They want to be done with him. Like, as a straight-up DFA, not like a late defensive, I don't know, but like, we're not going back and forth.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. We are playing Ortiz until the guy who is replacing Ortiz is ready, and then we are. That's the move has been made and we're not going back. Yeah. Okay.
Let's make sure we have time for the NBA. Do you want to do best and worst playoff teams or series? Yeah. Can we do teams? Because I don't.
Yeah. Through teams. I just want to make sure I have enough. Worst team. Let's start backwards.
The suns.
Well, yeah, I mean. They're the worst. I mean, and I'm playing fun. They're playing OKC, so it's hard to not look terrible, but they're the worst playoff team. Mm-hmm.
Yeah, for best. Thunder. Spurs Yeah. Lake Show? Yeah, I guess.
Yes. This playoffs, by the way, Sands Bucks. Um A lot of Bart narratives are coming home in these playoffs. Jokic. Jokic being a basketball-loving shithead.
By the way. This is I think this is important. Mm-hmm. In the Bill Simmons, Zach Lowe pod the other day, I just heard them joking with each other about their preposterousness. Is that a word?
Of the idea of saying, Oh, we're going to talk like Jokic trades now. Like, come on. I was like, Guys. Yeah. Okay.
Again, Bart, to your perpetual point that you've had forever. The idea, like, they literally. Joked. that oh what is it time to trade yogurt now lol like What the fuck? Because I don't know why, but maybe I do.
I don't get it. I don't get it. I Jokic. I mean, I always retell the story of when he was in the locker room and I was in there. Mm-hmm.
And I had to wait 45 minutes for him to give us one sentence because he was yucking it up with some. Serbian reporter? And where's Luca from? Same place? No.
Slovenia. Slovenia. They're all the same.
Soviet Union produced basketball star. There was something very convenient about the Soviet Union, wasn't there? Like, If we're being honest. Like yeah. Whatever.
Honestly, you just talk about your time at the fan and Jokic. No, I just remember Radio Joe in like 2017. I was listening to a Bucks post game and he's like, I love this Jokic guy. The Bucks should try to trade for him, but Denver's never given him up. Like, I just, my first memory of Nikola Jokic is Radio Joe saying the Bucks should try to trade for him, which I just think is funny.
Mine was: I was watching the draft, and there was this advertisement for Taco Bell. And I was like, oh boy, whoever got drafted there is probably going to have a lifetime crudge against this company. What's your favorite Nikolai Jokic memory, Paul Imig? When he didn't, I don't know. I was gonna say, like, when he charged at Jaden McDaniels for.
Beating them 3-1. What a turd. But he gets away with it. Pete, yeah. Although Giannis kinda got away with two hands shoving Mike Dunlevy.
Even he was a kid. He was like 20, 19, 20. And he got away with booing the home crowd. I don't know if you got away with that. I don't know if he got away with that.
Now he's all like, now he's all like, Milwaukee, you're my city. I wish if I could go back and do it differently, I would have, you know, blah, blah, blah. Yanis has couple counseling with the Bucks. went even better. Than the Rabel Households counseling, but they lasted the same amount of time.
I was gonna say. Who knew? Relationships could cured in a weekend. Who knew? You just got to get away.
Take one day off of work. Let's take one day off. Come in to work on Monday with a smile like you just. We're done fucking again. Yeah, the could the optics have been worse?
He walked in like that gif of the pigeon in the doctor coat. Like he had a strut. I have much less of a problem with Verabel doing the strut than I do with Schefter championing with his tweet where it's like. The triumphant return of the fucking like. Again, insider culture, it goes much beyond.
Yeah. He walked in like it was. Like it was uh Yeah. He's got something in there, Grant. I want to know what it is.
He walked in like he was just meeting up with the buddies after seeing a matinee and having a fresh new smell on his pointer finger. What? He took a girl to the movies. I know, I'm aware of the implication. I just said, such a specific.
Hey guys. Hey guys. Um Paul, I'd give you my answer here, but I feel like Bart's going to circle back in about 15 seconds. Oh, no, I'm circling back. Try to get there, guys.
I think my worst is a collective. It's the magic and the pistons. I wanted to stab my eyes out watching that game last night. I kind of enjoyed it. I really did.
You like disarray. I did like the rock fight nature of it. What happened to Pat Riley yesterday? What did happen? I thought he was having a press conference.
Another end-of-season presser before the calendar hits May. How about that, Paul? Yeah, no shit. It's not the head coach's fault. Oh, no.
Of course, of course not. No, no, the idea is laughable that it would be. I'd say, well, at least Spolstra's a regular season coach, but he ain't even that anymore. No. So top top top five teams In order.
That you would pick to win the title. Oh, Thunder. Thunder's one. I think across the board, we'd agree. Spurs.
Mm-hmm. Cool. Celtics I think I'm with you so far across the board. Nuggets, Lakers. Nuggets.
You win Nuggets, even though they're down? Yeah, well the Wolves have nobody left. The Wolves like the four best players. Starting Mike Conley, former. All-star, maybe?
Sounds right. He's never been teed up. I can tell you that. He's class ever. He's not going to hurt his team that way.
I mean, maybe not the Nuggets, but. If and was healthy, would you put them top three, top four? Uh yeah, because I feel like if Ant was healthy, they would have won like well, I don't know.
Well, they're no more than five for me. Lakers are in there for me. God, LeBron looks good. He looks so good. He looks so good.
He looks so good. He is good. He fathered a child and then threw him a pass. Yeah. I don't even care.
I forgot until this morning that the Cavs Raptor series was going on. And yes, I've been disconnected from the NBA, but it's also not my fault because I come home and I pop open DirecTV Sports Central and There's games on Amazon. They're going on on P, just off in the ether. And it would be one thing if DirecTV was like, hey, over on Peacock, remember there's this game, but I don't get that.
So there's just games and series that I'm completely missing. The Celtics are the only team in the East that even has a chance to win the title, yes? Mm-hmm. Not the n you don't think the Knicks? I mean, are they gonna I I I genuinely don't think they're getting out of the first round.
I mean I I look I I really like the Hawks. I really, I. When we had to play them, remember it was like...
Okay, if we're going to do anything, we got to beat the hawks and they kick the shit out of us. Just that team, a bunch of like scrappy veterans, got something to prove. Lots of length. They're very, very strong. I was rooting for the Knicks maybe last year.
Yeah, I would I'm rooting for Atlanta. I want to see the Hawks go as far as they can. I forgot. I forgot that Trey Young wasn't on the Hawks anymore. I was watching the first game of that series.
I'm like, man, McCollum's getting a lot of run. Good for, you know. Real mature from Trey. You know, he must be on the bench. And it took me like fucking half a quarter to remember that he wasn't there anymore.
Like, shit. And that same night, one of my buddies were like, long time Bill Simmons. It's a Bill Simmons group chat. My buddy messages the chat and it's like, Hardens on the calves? I'm like, this is such a bad recession indicator for the NBA.
But there have been things that there have been a handful of those for me, too. Like, where you're like, oh, I'm glad it's not just me. No, it's not, admittedly. All right, you guys keep going, I hope. All right.
You got another question for us? I want to know more about this one. I want your top five in the playoffs. For sure. You know, we're talking about the NBA playoffs.
Since I don't really prepare for these shows, I kind of leave it to you. Wing it. All right, good to see you fellas. Good to see you, Paul. That's Paul Emmig.
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You can get treats for your dog. It's been a rough week for the Doggies. with all these all these storms are brewing. Oh boy My back door blew off yesterday. It was already broken, but I call Is this weird?
I called the door place. I won't. reveal who my door guy is. But I said, I need my door fixed. And they go, all right, well, um That'll be 260 bucks.
Mm-hmm. I go, all right, I'll pay when you come out. No, we need the payment now.
So how do you know what if you don't come out?
Well then we gotta order the part. We'll call you back. I said, okay, so I paid them. And now I don't know when I'm getting my door fixed. And they were like overly helpful.
You know, when you call a place, a lot of times when you call a place, they're like, Why the fuck does this guy want our business? You need to like convince them. Like, can you come and check out my heating? Oh, yeah. Hold on.
Let me fucking look at the goddamn calendar. I think I got scammed. Probably. It's been a very busy month for exterior companies. I walk.
Most mornings and most nights, sometimes just in the morning or just at night. And every neighborhood, it's just like a battle of different roofing and exterior signs. In front of every house, because they all got fixed.
So it's like Earl's roofing, and then the next yard is like. Capital city improvement. Like there's just fucking signs. I just, I'm counting. I mean, it's pretty, but pretty diverse business.
I'm glad it's good for the economy. Yeah. Well, anyway.
So we're ranking NBA teams based on who's going to win. I mean, I I guess Do you think it's pretty inevitable that it is the thunder? God, I hope not How much of the NBA have you watched, would you say, the playoffs? It's hard. Their first weekend was WrestleMania.
And I checked out of like everything. My whole weekend was WrestleMania. That was it. And then the second last weekend was the draft. Yeah.
And it is a big problem. I think. I like we talked about this the other day, but with the streaming. It needs to be more Amphibious. You've got some, you've got like your You've got your...
Broadcasting cable nets. They're amphibious with each other. They're still on your cable package. You know, those are like your land creatures. And then the streamers are like your sea animals.
You need your, what's a good, like a lizard? He's amphibious. What's a good little guy that like a tadpole? Like a tadpole. We got to get back to Tadpole Television, Grant.
I'm not going to. Press the button, then the button, then the button, then the button. No. Over and over and over. And when it's a game like Some of these series, you joke, oh, Cavs, Raptors, that's NBA TV.
NBA TV. I'd kill for a game on NBA TV. I would too.
Now, uh And then God forbid. You're not fucking logged in.
Well, it's super easy. Here's the QR code. Do you know this bullshit? Hey, here's a QR code for you, right? Oh, I got one.
I got one. There's going to be a book. Fair at my kids' school. And so I got an email today. I'm surprised I didn't bitch to you guys about this.
I knew I'd talk to you later on. And Paul, I'm sorry, but this is a great story. coming up for you. But I got an email from the school that said. Here's all the information you need to know about the book fair.
And so what do you think would be attached? A link? No, it was a QR code. In an email? Yeah.
How are you supposed to scan the QR code? I scanned it from my phone onto the computer because I'm still a sicko that uses a computer for his primary. I text on my computer, Apple. Um So I was I was just I was just bewildered. That sucks.
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Make Mom's Day at 1-800Flowers.com/slash SXM. That's 1-800Flowers.com/slash SXM. Imagine being an elderly in this day and age. Yeah. I mean, what the fuck are we going to deal with?
I don't know. won't let me drive them if I've had Two sips of beer or whatever. That's a major problem. Of course, it's not that, but like, I don't want someone to be able to turn off my car remotely. Yeah.
So I guess The fuck part is I don't even really care about that. I just know it's going to cost me money. That's going to break. And then I'm going to have to get it fixed. And I'm not going to be able to take it to my neighborhood mechanic because the only people who are going to have the software to fix it are the big-time dealerships who are going to gouge me in the ass.
I just, I hate, I hate. They keep putting more shit in cars, and it just does nothing but break. And it gets more expensive to fix because now to fix a little. Thingamajig, they gotta take the whole touch screen shit off the dashboard to fix it.
So the man hours are like 2, 3 X, what they used to be, not to mention gas is up to like 440 or 420 in Madison today. I saw Jesus Christ. I start riding my bike. I'm good. Would you like to get into business with me?
I have a business idea. What's this? I'm basically going to buy A shitload of old cars.
Okay. For people that Um want to be able to drive off the fucking grid. Yeah. I mean, but still, if you have a license plate. Here's the thing.
They're scanning their light. There's no parking toll at the zoo anymore. License plate, scan. Charge ya? I mean, what happened to being able to drive around town?
With a six pack of fucking beer, man. You're not wrong.
So here's what's I'm turning into my dad because here's it. I don't know what you know about lawn mowers, okay? But it used to be you could get the old green lawn boy, the push mower. And it uses mixed gas. I have a red Toro.
You mix the oil and the gas together, which allows you to mow at an angle. You can mow a side hill or a lake bank because the gas and oil, it's fine. They stop making them like that. My dad has like six of them lined up in his garage for when the one breaks, he's got the next one ready. I want like five 2008 Toyota Camrys.
That's what I want a fleet of them.
So as we move forward into this BS, I'm just ready. And I don't need the Bluetooth. I don't need it. Like, yeah, it's nice to have the navigation screen for Google, but I can easily live without all this shit. Easily, not difficult at all, will not be an issue.
I just want 2006 Toyota Camores. I don't even need leather seats. We were in my wife's car. And we were on Spotify or whatever. And I'm like, can we just get back to the FM radio?
Yeah. Wow. That was solving a fucking Rubik's Cube. Yeah. I mean, there's what the fuck are we doing?
Who's asking for this? Nobody.
So why are we acquiescing? Why are we complying? Yeah. What choice do we have? PlayStation's going to kick you out of your games if you're not logged in the internet for 30 days.
Yeah. Why can't why do we have to rent every fucking thing in this world now? Ownership is gone. Ownership is gone. You're just licensing, you're just renting.
You talk about folks who own John Deere tractors. Good fucking luck. Your comment. No, this is actually something that I follow very closely. Your combine goes out during harvesting season.
You watch all, you probably saw it on More Perfect Union, which is fine. That's a fine place to see such things. But I don't know even what that is. I don't believe you. But like, your combine goes down.
It's like you can't have. Larry next door, who's worked on tractors for 60 years, fixed it because John Deere won't give him the software. Or they will, but they'll lease it to him at half a million dollars a year. Why do you need software for everything? Because we put computers in everything.
Huh. How old's your iPhone, by the way? What kind of iPhone do you have? Yeah. It's already slowing down.
The internet's been real shitty on it too. I have what's a 15 year and a half ago maybe? Jesus, really? How do I look at what it is? He just had a 12.
I have a 12. Oh. What if I told you I had a four and just whipped down a fucking... Remember the 5C, the color? Oh shit.
Remember when MacBooks were giant and like Or not MacBooks, but when they had uh Yeah. Like a big orange back to him. Yeah, mine was wide, a white one. Follow the Mac. The real plasticky ones, yeah.
I still have uh prop comedy. I still have this Samsung shit. There's you and me. Mm-hmm. I got my Blackberry.
Great phone. All we ever needed. I know. You ain't lying. Anyway, sports and stuff.
Oh fuck. Can I ask you a Packers question before we before we get out of here?
Sorry. Do you find it difficult? Can I ever get back on real radio again? I'm just gonna be. People are going to be like, oh man, what's he going to say?
I'm going to be so painted by numbers. I'm going to be like. Welcome into the Talkin' Text Line Studios. Hit us up. I'm the fucking shit nut.
Who do you want to win a championship first? The Brewers or the Packers? Would you give up 10 losing seasons for one of the Brewers? What's the first athlete you ever had their autograph for um All right, before we get to it, you know the What was your question? I was just gonna ask, do you find it difficult to To get too invested or interested in anything the Packers do this offseason because really you just don't believe in the coach and like the heart of the organization, like the DNA of the team.
Because I'm running into this a little bit. Where it's like, what do you think of Jonathan Gannon? I don't know. I think it'll probably be more of the same. Like, oh, the draft picks.
I don't know. It's the same coach quarterback. I feel like it'll probably be much of the same. Like, it just feels like deck chairs to me a little bit. And I like the coach more than you do.
I think that policy coming in and immediately being a cuck to the floor kind of pisses me off. They they haven't made They haven't done anything to make me think they're going to do any better. I can't get over the LaFleur thing of. Three big games in a row. Win'em.
I just cannot see him doing that.
Well, that's the thing. You guys know, in order to win a Super Bowl, you need to win three or four playoff games in a row.
Some of them may be on the road. Like we talk about winning a Super Bowl, like it's this. Like, just this concept: like, no, in practice, what you need to do is win three or four massive games in a row. Like, think about that. And every massive game I see him and he falls flat on his dick.
He can't. I saw John Anderson say that. Um He was inside Wisconsin fame. Yeah, I don't know who he was with.
Somebody. We're all on The internet and everywhere yet. But he was like, Matt LaFleur is a Monday through Saturday coach. But I don't trust them on Sundays. I don't even know if I love him.
I think his issues on Sunday are also related to Monday through Saturday because we got to hear about, well, you know, guys weren't, you know, practicing hard and we weren't working on this.
So, like, I don't even know that I love him as a Monday through Saturday coach, but I get your point. I get what you're saying. I would refer people to my Tyler Dunn conversation. on the in the Winklerverse where he had talked about like Ted Thompson's Packers were soft because he made a soft team. Goody's bringing in guys that are not soft.
And then LaFleur is like neutering the team. You know, go stand up, go protect Jordan Love. The whole Javon Bullard article he did. Was about that. It was excellent.
They need some magnets. And right now, I would put a link to that video, which would make it easier on the consumer, but. I don't know how to do that.
Well, no one's going to watch it. What you need to do is take that Tyler Dunn thing and make it into like 50 shorts. That's how I watch Young Sheldon. Watching Young Sheldon. I didn't know they had another Big Bang Theory universe show.
What is it? Stuart Doesn't Save the World or something like that. Another one. In addition to Georgie and Mandy. Which I didn't realize was the bang of verse.
I didn't realize that that was part of that. I just thought that was its own thing, or whatever we're calling it. I don't know. There should be a name for it. There's like six shows now.
It's like we keep making all these side quests, and then you're never going to have the main character. What is this, Marvel? Did the Daryl Sheets death hit you as hard as it hit many? Was that Okay, never mind. Clearly.
Storage wars. Oh, I didn't watch a lot of Storage Wars.
Okay. That's fine. You know what I would do in college? I'd watch uh General hospital at one or two in the afternoon. Yeah, with a girl.
And then I would go I would go to a different girls' room at three to watch Trading Spaces.
So you traded spaces to watch trading spaces. Yeah, I hooked up with neither of them. I was gonna say. I'm putting it. What the fuck?
You're working two jobs, you're not getting a single paycheck. I just do it for love of the game. This is the passion project. I'm wasting my afternoons. Anyway, you not have afternoon classes?
Clue. I had the UWL schedule. Monday was I had a night class Monday. Yeah. Tuesday, Thursday, I stacked four classes with no break.
Picked up a Picked up a bag lunch at Whitney. The sandwiches in those bag lunches. This is not a compliment. They tasted like nothing I've ever tasted before. There was just a different.
The cookie, even there was a cookie in there. Everything tasted a little wrong. Like it was all prepared in a room that has a weird smell, like an old refrigerator that's stuck to the food. Yeah, like there was some process where this food was delivered through a sewer system. Yeah.
There was something really off. With that. No, so that's what I watched. I was going to get back to the Packer thing. Yes.
I yeah, you're right. I don't believe they can win a Super Bowl and I don't believe they're trying their hardest. I believe they're content. And this goes back to my the Packers are what you think the Brewers are. 'Cause the Brewers, I mean, we can shit on them, but.
I do believe they are making an effort to win. Oh yeah. And you don't think the Packers are doing all they tend to win because they won't fire the coach. That's what it's coming down to for you. He's given you.
More than half a decade of examples that he's not the guy. No, sure. I just, when you say that they're not, they're not doing everything they can to win, it's literally just the coach. Because I don't know, I guess, where else you could look and say they haven't done enough here, there, everywhere. It's just the head coach, right?
What is your reaction? Yes. What is your reaction? Like, what are people... How are you talking about the draft on the one show you've done since?
Are you moving on from it already? Yeah, well, that's the thing tonight. I'm leading with brewers. Like, I don't know. I didn't even get a ton of calls on it last night.
Um Which is weird. I get interested in the draft once the players are picked, but I think I'm the outlier because I think a lot of people get into the draft. leading up to it. Not having a first round killed it. Maybe a little.
I think also the timing. Like, if the first round is on Wednesday and the second round was on Thursday and we didn't have to wait through the weekend to do a show about it.
Now, I could have done an emergency pod. That's on Fox. That's on me. I waited until my designated time at which I broadcast every day to share my opinion. Instead, I didn't even post a reel, a quick react.
That's on me. Um you have a car, don't you? What's up? You have a car? Yeah, should I do it in the car?
Or I know. Um I like the corner. I like the positions they took. I don't know if they're going to be any good. I like the positions they took.
Yeah, I think they had a perfect they had a perfect draft because They still like it, seems like they did good, and Packers fans don't ever want to talk poorly about their team.
So that checks off that box. But then they drafted a kicker.
So, people can bitch about something, even though mana from heaven, maybe like. I mean, think about doing four hours when you're doing four hours a day, like trading up to take a kicker going into the offseason. Like, that's. That's perfect. they're going to have a kickoff in training camp.
Yeah, but it's a good pick. I don't necessarily disagree, but not everyone's going to feel that way. No, but everyone's going to bitch about the kicker. Mm-hmm. And then we draft a kicker, and everyone's like, Where who do you want?
Youngwei Koo? Like, if you don't want McManus, where else are you going to just find a guy undrafted?
Okay, well, what about the guy you liked? He was in the draft. Take him. I don't disagree. I don't mind.
But, but. People don't think that way. Yeah. Well, it strayed from the consensus board. Which was a big thing.
Yeah. We were all debating. Which is fine, but I feel like we do that every year. Like every draft season, we have a big Twitter thing about the consensus board. And then once a football season, there's a big to-do about PFF grades.
And normally JJ Watt gets involved. And I'm like, we just did, we just did this. And all of the former PFF people have got to come out and be like, now I can tell you from my time at PFF that this, and then the athletes are like, but you never played the game. It's like, we just, guys, do you not remember? We just did this.
Like, we just, everyone said all of these same things.
So it's the same with the consensus board, too. And I know that the kicker is the. You know, strays from the consensus board. But it's also weird. Because you know we have ha we have So this came up on my show the other night.
On one hand, people will be like, well. You know, the first round pick didn't work out, but you could always hit a seventh round pick. What's the difference? You know, you hear that. Like, what's the difference where they get the value?
But then the Packers trade away some seventh round picks for a kicker. And those same people will be like, well, it's only a seventh round. I mean, what are they going to get in the seventh round, anyways? It's like, well, wait, like, either the picks. Matter or they don't.
Like, we can't talk about how Donald Driver was a seventh-round pick and then talk about how the two picks they traded to get the kicker who might suck doesn't matter. Like, I I I don't know. It's just all so silly, but it is fun. I know I'm making a little bit of a mess of your podcast right now. I'm rambling, so I apologize.
Okay. One more thing I want to ask you. I just thought of this. Yes. Do you think Like what if we just They wouldn't change it now ever.
But what if college football was played in the spring? Do you think that we would like it more or less? Because college football and the NFL now, their playoffs are gone at the same fucking time. Stupid. Um And then guys could get drafted into the next season.
Right in. People would tailgate. And you'd be like, hey, summer's back. College football, baby. Spring weather kind of sucks balls, though.
Until it doesn't.
So like at the end it would be great, but at the beginning it would suck. But fall weather sucks at the end. Yeah, but they stopped playing games in like Mid-November. It doesn't suck like. Doesn't really suck that bad.
Plus if it does, it's big ten big ten country. You know, that type of thing. I don't watch as much college football as most people because I just can't sit on my couch on a Saturday when the weather's nice in the fall, when I'm already doing it for the NFL.
So, maybe in the spring I'd sit inside, but I think if it's nice in the spring that it's like winter's over, I want to go outside. I'm not going to sit here and watch TV. Yeah, I don't like how basketball and hockey dip into like June 15th. It's pretty gratuitous. They take their time.
We got the World Cup coming up. But it is pretty great. Like, I come home from work. every night this time of year, and there's just meaningful sports games on my television. Whether it's hockey or basketball or baseball, like there's just something.
If you can find it, my brother. Yes, you're telling me. Grant? Have a good show. I don't know how long you wanted to keep going, so sorry if you've been wanting to wrap this up for like 10 minutes, but thank you.
I will. Nice to see you. I wanted to wrap up exactly at the time I started to wrap up. Perfect.
Well, let's get out of here. Why don't we? Yeah, uh we got a lot we got uh we're up against it. Dude, does that kind of shit even like register to real people listening? No, it's funny is like I'll take calls.
And a caller will begin, like, I'll be quick. I know you're up against it. It's like, dude.
So what? A break, or like we got, you know, I got a lot of people. Like, if I'll go to calls, this start a segment, like, we got loaded phone lines, just try to be a little faster. You know, one more call here, then we'll go to break. I'll be quick, Grant.
I know we're up against it. It's like, thank you for being conscientious of the thing we're doing as a group here. I appreciate that.
So that one specifically does, but a lot of the other ones like. Anyways, this is fun. Thanks to Paul. Thanks to Grant. Thanks to you for stopping into No Inkler Ver.
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