EXTRA! Jennifer Lopez

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Life is for living. Let's partner for all of it. Learn more at edwardjones.com. Hi, I'm Jane Pauley, and this is our Sunday morning extra. Our podcast featuring a memorable story from our most recent show. It's a conversation that offers insights beyond the broadcast. On this episode, Jennifer Lopez, J-Lo. A superstar, dancer, singer, actor, and producer, she's engaged to marry baseball legend Alex Rodriguez.

She talks about life and love with our Tony DeCopel. So this is 50. Yes, it is. Are you the kind of person who thinks it's only a number? I am. I mean, honestly, I don't feel any different than I did when I was 25, 26, 27, eight years old. But you've got a much bigger life and having a bigger year than you were when you were 25 years old. Listen, I had an amazing year when I was 26. I played Selena. You were in Selena. That was life-changing.

Sure. Everything, every moment in my life has been an amazing moment for me. Even some of the hard stuff that I went through, that kind of stat sticks out in my mind, even when I think about the good stuff. It's just all part of the journey. I just think now what's different is I have all this experience, but I still feel very kind of youthful, alive, and at the beginning of great adventures.

That's how it feels. That's an amazing thing to feel at age 15. Thank you.

Thank you. You act like it's really, really, really up there. How old are you? I'm 38, and I'm nervous about becoming 40.

Don't be. It's awesome. 40 is amazing. Yeah?

Oh, yeah. Well, maybe- Don't you actually realize, like 30s, you just don't know anything. You realize that you don't. 20s, you think you know everything. 30s, you realize that you don't know anything, and so that's kind of like a crazy time.

And at 40, you go, it's okay. I don't know everything, and I'm okay. In Marry Me, you are an actor playing a singer on stage. It's coming together for you. It is.

That was a special movie for me because of that. Yeah. So because the movie's called Marry Me, and because you wore a wedding dress in the movie, and because of everything else going on in your life, I got to ask right now, when? When are you getting married? Well, I'm not going to tell you right now. Come on. No, I mean, that's obviously- Do you have a date for you, though? I wouldn't even tell you that yet.

What I will say- Protective. Yeah. I mean, I think- You learn. Of course. I mean, I've made many mistakes about oversharing, and it's not that I don't share now.

I like to share. I just think certain things have to be sacred and be protective, and you have to be careful and delicate. It's just not me. It's another person. It's our kids. It's our family, and I learned that along the way. I will say, you seem to be doing a very good job of blending families. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

It's not easy to do. Well, we're very lucky. We have four amazing children, and somebody said that to me the other day, and they were like, they really get along, huh? Because they saw two of them kind of hugging each other, kissing each other, helping each other do something, and I was like, oh, no, no, no. They love each other. They just became fast friends and kind of felt that there was love and acceptance on both sides. This wasn't about anything except a place that was going to provide more love for them, and I think they felt that immediately and felt safe and just got to know each other. It's like kids get to know each other, and when that's a free thing, there's no weird thing on it or no weird energy around it.

They just embraced it, and again, we have four very loving, well-adjusted, talented, beautiful kids. Yeah. I don't want to linger on the marriage thing, but I do want to bring up... I mean, I would love to linger on the marriage thing, but I will not linger on the marriage thing, but I do want to bring up Justice Ginsburg. Yes. You apparently sat down with Ruth Bader Ginsburg. I did.

With Alex. Yes. You asked her for marriage advice? I did. I did.

It was funny. On the day that Alex proposed that night, we were in bed, and we were watching a documentary, and my sister had told me about the RBG documentary, and I was like, you know what? I heard this was really good, and we both kind of were into it.

We love documentaries. We're watching this, and besides all of the amazing things she's done for this country and as a Supreme Court Justice, the thing that hit both me and Alex was her marriage, her marriage to Marty and that partnership that they had. When I went to go on tour, we knew we'd be going through Washington, D.C., and we reached out and asked if she wanted to come to the show. She was like, it's a little late for me, but I'd love to meet you and Alex, and please come by to my chambers. We went to our chambers, and we sat with her, and we talked about a lot of different things, but one of the things was you had this amazing marriage with Marty.

What's your piece of advice? She said, it's good to be a little deaf sometimes. I was like, oh, okay. She's like an unkind word. People are not perfect sometimes. You just have to let it go, and staying calm and being in that, to me, is a superpower of hers. Often, Alex and I will now reference RBG, like stay calm, stay calm.

That's the superpower. When everything gets crazy, when people get out of control, when there's heightened emotions, don't go there with people. Just stay calm.

Calmness is strength. Yes. That's what we walked away with from her. It was awesome.

It was awesome to meet her. Hustlers. Yes. Are you tired of talking about it yet? No.

Are you excited? It's a good movie. No, I love hustlers. Yeah. Is it true that when you first got the script, there was not the scene, and you know the scene I'm talking about. Yeah. You know the scene. Whatever anyone talks about hustlers, and they just talk about, have you seen Hustlers?

They just need to raise their eyebrows a little bit. You know the scene I'm talking about. Yeah. That wasn't originally in the script. No.

No, no, no. It was written as Ramona's entrance was basically, she does a final flourish on stage. It would have been the end of her music, and she walks down and meets Destiny. It's just asserting that she's the queen of this place. You don't have to see it, but we're telling you. Well, you're supposed to see it.

There was voiceover, because there is voiceover. I had my eyes on Ramona. I had my sights set on Ramona, blah, blah, blah. She was the moneymaker. I was like, why don't we not say that? How about we just show who she is?

Show don't tell. Yeah, and I just thought the best way to show it was to show her on stage, being the star of the club, understanding the game, having that on lock, knowing how to get their money, her being different from the performer that was on stage right before her who collected a few dollars off the stage. Then at the end of hers, it's like everybody's come up to the stage when they hear her name.

They're throwing the money. That's an amazing scene. We talked about, she has to do some amazing thing on stage, some dance that is very indicative of who she is. When she does it, that means you have to do it.

Right. Well, we talk about it like a character first with the director. Like, I think Ramona needs to have this. And Loreen was like, yeah, she goes, you don't have to. She was like, very much like, you don't have to strip.

You don't have to do this. And I was like, I think it's really important that in a movie about exotic dancers, that there be some exotic dancing. There'll be some stripping.

There'll be some of that. Was there a moment of hesitation? Did you have the idea narratively? You said we have to show, don't tell. And then you were like, but maybe I don't want to say anything because that means I have to show. Right.

Yes. There's always that kind of human fear of not wanting to, you know, expose yourself in a way that you haven't done before. And that meant in this case, not just emotionally, but physically, you know?

And so that was a little bit scary for me. It's something I had never done, you know, just even, even just as a woman being insecure with your body and thinking. It's hard to imagine you feeling that way. Well, I worked really hard so I wouldn't feel insecure.

Working out and learning to pull and becoming that type of body for that role. It's hard work. Still in your mind, you know, nobody thinks of themselves as perfect or I look awesome and, you know, I'm here.

I go. I was like, okay, I'm ready, but I still felt very vulnerable. And when you go out on a set and there's 300 men there and whether they're background actors or not, they're still men. And you're thinking, oh my God, I got to get up there in this outfit right now.

So then here's the hard question. I look at your film record, 45 years ago, and I'm like, your film record, 40 films nearly. You've been in a lot of good ones. You've been in a lot of big box office films, a lot of bad ones. We can get into that later.

I hope, I hope we can talk a bit about the bad one. This was a good one. And your role was great.

Your performance was amazing. And people have noticed no Oscar so far, no Oscar nomination so far. No, not yet. Do you think this may change things?

Is this the one? I mean, I hope so. I hope so. I'm proud of the performance. I'm proud of what it is and I'm proud of the movie. Honestly, I can't think of anyone else who's combined these different strands of the entertainment industry into one braid, quite like you have.

Thank you. I mean, I looked up to people like, you know, Barbara Streisand and Diana Ross and, you know, Bette Midler and, you know, who were singer performers. Like, I love Barbara because she directed as well. You know, she was a singer and an actor and a performer, but also she directed.

And I love Tina Turner for her performance quality. There was different people that I looked at and was like, yeah, I want to do all that. That's, that's, that's what I want to do. That's who I want to be like. So you knew who you were. Very clearly, you knew who you were and what you wanted to be.

And then there's this moment, 2001, 2002, where the tabloids are telling you who you are. Yeah. What, what, what, what era was that?

Tell me which era you're talking about. Cause I feel like that happened a couple of times. Yeah. There were a couple moments, more than a few. Okay. So what happened in 2002? Just refresh my memory. So, well, first there's like... Oh, tell me what you're talking about. Well, there's the, there's the P. Diddy era. Okay.

Where you're definitely in the tablets. But then really, really seriously, I mean, this is kind of like, this was like the inauguration of the like celebrity couple era. You and Ben Affleck. Okay.

Bennifer. Right. People weren't combining names like that before. No, that was new.

That was new. Yeah. You did that somehow.

We kind of did that. Yes. Yes. So what do you want to know about that? I want to know what that was like. It was crazy.

Because. It was crazy. I mean, even like what you call the Puffy, I call it the Puffy era, you call it the P. Diddy era, because that's what goes with that era. The Puffy era was just kind of like a crazy height in time in my life. You know, Puffy and I were like, both grew up in the Bronx.

He had been in the music business and had all the success. I was just starting and making my first album when I met him. He became kind of a mentor to me in that moment. We had this kind of crazy, tumultuous relationship that ended in like a bang, let's say.

Almost literally. Yeah. And it was definitely a moment, but I felt like it was necessary.

Like he was meant to be in my life at that moment to teach me what I needed to know about the music business, about being kind of a, what kind of artist I wanted to be in the music industry. And when you talk about the Bennifer era, this is so weird I'm talking about this, like to talk about it in that way. So I'm just using those words because you used them. Totally.

Look. You know, I was just, I don't look at them as eras in that way. I look at them as like, these were people in my life who I really cared about and fell in love with. And who we had very special, very unique relationships with both those people. And I think maybe that's what captured the public's attention in a sense, because there was realness to them. There was an authenticity to those relationships and people felt it. And they were very different.

Like Ben wanted to be, believe it or not, quiet and not be in the tabloids. And it was the beginning of the tabloid era and we were kind of out there. More than kind of. Yeah. It was like, I remember stacks of magazines and we were on it like every week and it was scary. It was overwhelming for both of us. It was too much for both of us to handle.

Were you reading it and thinking, I know who I am and this is not who I am. Yeah. Absolutely.

And let me get their phone number. Surely they'll correct it. Yeah. I did feel like that sometimes, but you also feel a little bit helpless.

Yeah. Like, God, how do I, how do I counter all of the stuff that's being said? But you can't. You just have to live your life. And this is what I've learned over the years. This is why it's great to be where I am now. And at the age I am now, because that stuff doesn't bother me anymore because I know so much who I am. And you have to learn, like, I just have to live my life in a way that I'm proud of and everything's going to be okay. Everything's going to be okay.

People can say what they want to say. But at the end of the day, I go to bed, I put my head on the pillow. I'm like, I was a great mom today. I was a great person. I was a great partner. I was loyal. I was faithful. I was kind. I was giving. I tried my hardest.

And that's all I can do every day. And that's wise and good and exactly how you should see it at 50. But it's really, that's hard-won wisdom, is it not?

But at 30 or 20? Yeah. No, I mean... It was a little harder, but I had to go through that. You've talked about it, about trying not to let it affect your own self-esteem, your own self-value. Oh, but it did. It did for a long time. It did because I was, you know, talked about in a way that discredited any sort of talent I had, you know? And it was hard because I started thinking, well, maybe I am a fraud.

And I think most artists go through that anyway. But here I was, it was being magnified on such a big level. And the tabloid era was such a time where it was all about like, how do we find the seedy story? How do we bring people down?

How do we make fun of people? That's what's selling. All of this negative stuff. And then it changed. It changed with American Idol on the internet and being able to kind of talk to my fans directly or being on American Idol, which was a reality show where people got to see the real me and realize that this person that they were creating in the media wasn't really who I was inside and in my heart. And I think that changed things, which was nice. Social media has been a force for good in your life. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. Because you control more of what you let people see.

Yeah. And also, I don't take it as seriously as some of the kids who were born into social media who are like, oh, my God, it's the be all and end all. I'm able to have a balance with it where I go, I can have fun with it and share things about my life and let you know what's going on and put up the things I'm proud of about my kids or my family and the things that I'm doing in my work. But I also don't take every single comment so seriously and get caught up in that part of it. When you're in the public eye, there's a party you have to give up. You have to give up a little bit of it and go, it doesn't matter what anybody says. I know who I am. And that's what I have to be. And I work on being the best person I can be every day. The good fight, the final season, now streaming exclusively on Paramount Plus.