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February 28, 2020 9:00 am
Life with Jamie Greer is fear that keeps you from experiencing what God wants you to experience so that you know what the most often given command in the Bible is not 366.the Bible says that you're not one for every baby and leave your God, we would admit with your points of whatever that would and Molly that events were asked to list some common sense that most people struggle with. You probably mentioned things like lying last maybe inappropriate anger but without fear in this special edition of Summit life pastor Jamie Greer invites his wife Veronica to join him as they address one of the most common and damaging struggles we all face where he doesn't just harm you emotionally and physically.
It destroys your ability to experience God's blessing, but we don't have to be slaves to it any longer. Grab your Bible and let's get started. You have a Bible you're going to be in the book of first John this weekend so you can begin to find out first. John is one of the later books in the New Testament. England open their ideal home wreckers is looking at some of the things that corrode our relationships destroy our homes as outlined by the Bible and the first two weeks we the unusual thing about as we look at what God's word and say about the workplace and how we all think about the workplace because a lot of the stress we brings into our homes comes from workplace. But now were going to turn our attention to focus on what's I believe might be this week to discuss what may be the top homewrecker in American homes.
Yes, it might be a little surprising for you because you probably wouldn't pick this one out, but I've read enough recently that convinces me of this ready fear.
Fear is the homewrecker that we are going to discuss this with you throughout the Bible. Fear is often what keeps people from being able to enter into some say the blessing to God intends for them.
Number chapter 13 for example, God put the promise land out there before the children of Israel, and it says that the reason they won't go into it is because they are afraid that the spies come back and say all you will believe this to be the people there like giant said in their eyes were like grasshoppers in a never works out well for the grasshopper you crotch get stepped on aggressor was used as bait by do that when they were 10 to get the grass of anybody going out the grasshopper you put all got a message that your baby just doesn't work out well for the grasshopper they were afraid because they were afraid they missed out that generation missed out on that promise land blessing that God had for Matthew chapter 14 Peter will walk on the water because he looks around the store that he is afraid he's afraid it's not like God have the power to hold them up.
He doesn't experience that in its fullness, because he's afraid. Looking at the storm many ways the original sin of Adam and Eve grew out of out of fear plate Satan play on this idea in their hearts that they were missing out on what what what really was good and in any made them afraid that they were missing out on the best of that's how he tempted them you think about it you'll find example after example of the Bible is fear that keeps you from experiencing what God wants you to experience so that you know what the most often given command in the Bible is you probably should. If you don't do now for med introduction that I don't know what what what what help I can give you but if I asked you that question was the most often repeated command. The Bible and I had to be you. Introduction. You probably will come of the different answer right is almost often given command to be holier or Abdul have sex give money to the church or read God's word and those are all united in their place. Even the five different commands for the most often repeated commanders, fear not.
366 times in the Bible it says that command, fear not, that's one for every day of the year and leave your God knew we would immediately appear at some point so we went and threw them in their tip every day of the year you got a new fear not command that you can can apply so reliable that it probably shouldn't surprise me that Christian counselors identify fear as were the top homewrecker's in our relationship to shouldn't surprise you but it did.
What keeps you out of God's promise land.
Whatever the promised land is that were talking about. It is usually fear. Fear keeps you out of the promised land of a good marriage. If you're single, then fear keeps you out of the land of contented singleness if you're not is is is is the commandments given to you to be able to add stability like not fear not just is not command that you can break this thing you can just command you if you're terrified not as talking on my right. I can assure you why you shouldn't be afraid but you just can't command that. It's got a come with some kind of assurance. When God tells us not to fear when he says fear not, it's because he is giving that with an implicit promise.
It. And that promise is made explicit in first John chapter 4 verse 18. First John 418, listen, there is no fear in love but perfect love casts out fear.
For fear has to do with punishment.
Whoever fears has not been perfected in love. God's perfect love and only God's perfect love to drive out fear to show you this week and why God's love is perfect, and why. That alone drives out fear.
What's the only drive out fear.
There's two things are to make this talk tonight or this weekend unusual. The first is that I'm a teacher a few truths from this verse and I must spend the majority of our time applying it specifically to marriage and singleness. The second reason this is a very unusual time this weekend is because I'm going to have my wife help me do this when I was sharing with her guy what was going on in the series and I told her about the subject of fear that I really felt led of God to talk about.
She said all you gotta make sure that you say this and this and this and this and this. The women, she said, because women deal with these kind of fears like all their lives. And finally, after hearing her talk long enough, like why don't you say there's thanks to the women and she said what I said why not associate because I'm afraid to get out and talk in front of you so that I went over all the different verses that I was good to hear about fear, but that totally convince her that I had without Ephesians 5 about maybe aborting the hole in her need to submit and I so whatever it took. She could be doing this weekend and so shall we come in appearance little bit to help me get through this because she said that from the time the girls in high school. She starts asking a lot of these troubling questions.
Go start asking Vincent what if I never get married. Of course guidance you asked that soon, but usually ask it differently. For whatever reason, whether it's just a myth or not. Guys usually don't feel as powerless as most girls do about that question. You may just be something we make up a week like I cannot change the outcome.
There are girls and for like that. What if I don't get married and I can't find a real job that that's a question that the fear that a lot of a lot of them have some girl she said fear that they do get married they'll lose their identity get married and then all of a sudden I just become a housewife. All my skills get like swallowed up in order to change diapers all day. Married women fear married women fear their husband losing their job not being able to provide for the family that Wolfie doesn't take care of us.
What if he is not a good worker.
What if he's what he's not a spiritual leader.
What if he leaves me. She said they asked questions like what if I get unattractive as I get older on my game. Wait what if I have wrinkles. Many women fear. What if I don't have kids, what if I do have kids, what about drive a minivan. What if I can't find friends after I get married one of my kids don't have friends let my kids turn out to be socially and after socially awkward. What about lose a child, either literally or figuratively.
Believe it or not.
First John 418, was was for you. First John 418 there is no fear in love but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment. Whoever fears has not been perfected in love to try to help you define fear for a few minutes will do for you two ways that we fear in marriage and on the second of his ways. When my wife is going to help me out okay. If you take no cheers. Good thing right down we fear something we think it can really damage us. So when you try to do as you try to control your environment so that you avoid these things. Which leads me to the second thing I was point out here and that is the fear is usually a type of worship. Fear is usually a type of worship explained that that worship comes from a Hebrew word that literally means weight you worship something whenever you give something waits when you worship something you give it such weight that you couldn't imagine life without that thing and in your thinking, like I gotta have this for happiness.
I got had this for security and so you fear the loss of that thing. That's why by the way the Bible so repeatedly tells you to fear God because God really is the one the only one Scripture says that holds the key to our joy. Our security and our well-being. Proverbs 14 26 will go there just wasn't enough aridity first 1426 in the fear of the Lord would have strong confidence. The fear of the Lord is a fountain of life that when they turn away from the snares of death. You see there's a kind of fear that actually gives you life. It's when you realize that God alone is all you really need to depend on for life and happiness and see if that's what you believe that God alone is what you need to depend on for life and happiness, and you are are are assured in the gospel. That's he is nothing but perfect love for you that gives you a sense of confidence to face the rest of life is a fountain of life in your marriage in your job because it gives you confidence you are confident in his perfect love is everlasting strength and that drives out all the other fears for the fear of God fear God for everything else.
But if your guy don't hear anything else because what happens is you are assured of his love for you. You know how important now controlling how weighty that it is perfect which were to get to again let me be clear. The goal of the sermon is not that you don't fear at all. The goal the sermon is that you fear God, because God is in the right place. You will be dominated by other fears. You'll find they just disappear. Three birthday will point out about fear this verse here that is fear comes from a sense of punishment. Fear comes from a sense of punishment she fear is a very natural emotion. Fear is when you feel like something can damage you that you're in danger you feel exposed and that comes from a sense of punishment get this July.
Since the Garden of the very first parents are very first parents, Adam and Eve had fear after they had sinned, because they don't make them when they were felt naked they felt exposed because that's how normal people feel when they are naked publicly.
That's what's a very frightening thing you had that recurring dream anybody had this regionalism are naked. Anybody admitted put your hands up everywhere testify.
Okay, I have the dream I shall be UNC Chapel Hill speak like 20,000 students and I have a my tardy wise.
I kid you not, as a recurring.
I don't know what, it's not a pleasant dream.
I don't like about the dream I was.
I was also very polite. All it does appear that that's fear right.
That's what they felt as they felt fear they felt exposed when you are afraid you know you want to run from something missing.
The issue now is we don't really know what to run to week. We are in the punishment of God before Adam and Eve sinned, they were naked, but it didn't bother sweetness to you because they were closed. The love and the acceptance of God and because they were clothed in the love and the acceptance of God.
They had no fear about their nakedness. But having been stripped of the love and the presence of God. Now they felt exposed so they know we know that we need to run from something, but we don't know exactly what to run to 333 important things about fear that we give you two ways that fear affects our marriage was the narrator for not that affects our store life romantically or when were single rather were we plan every good relationship number one we did our spouse holds the key to our joy. Our security and our significance.
So we fear them letting us down for Senate were single and that future spouse holds the key for joy security to give the gift we fear never getting married are spouse holds something we think is essential for life respect, love, security, and so your life starts to be filled with worry and anxiety about whether or not they're actually going to deliver for you what if I my husband lets me down you if you're everything because they love you, then they disappoint your love is like nothing if you're single.
You're Glenn's little Mary.
How can I be happy or feel anymore. I'm not loved by that somebody you find by the way through marriages, or to get angry a lot at your spouse get angry because they're disappointing and you say things in arguments to them like this will save.
Why don't you respect me more.
Why don't your farming more.
Why don't you love and take care of me the way that my girlfriends husband takes care of her and then you start to resort to manipulative behaviors. Behaviors blow up a bit. You get angry you make statements like I hate you to never, this statement comes out. I hate you. That is a sign of deep disappointments. Yes, they might be wrong and what they are doing, but the feeling of hate has as much to do with your idolatry as it does their failure for that he comes from this appointment is one thing hatred is because they have deeply wounded you on the soul level because they were you're everything you turn them into a God so you are more passive aggressive so you'll do this by withholding affection. Withholding sex crime stonewalling brought the constant nitpicking, but it's never good enough. Just all why because you need to be perfect you need them to be perfect about what they're doing. It's never enough you ever heard about five love languages, double languages, which basically the ideal of you were married read this book. It's the idea that that married people yet to learn how to speak the language.
Love language of the person that you're married to some people feel love through Pietsch the beautiful love the words of affirmation, people feel the quality time/friend of Allah, that what your wife love language. She said whichever one I'm not doing at the moment that is her love life. This is constant nitpicking I get you the 80 I need you to be perfect. What you need your spouse to be perfect with the reason you're always not satisfied is because you were looking for them to do on a soul level, something that is not designed to do number one reason marriages go wrong number one reason is you look for security on loving your spouse but you really are finding God. By the way guys is not just a female issue did you think of this is that when our passion is an article this week secular article talking about the fact that Western culture men Western culture. It's unlike any other culture in the world and the other culture and history in that in Western culture, men are men. Their wives are everything for them in other cultures. There's a natural kind of network for men have friends but culture.
Most men don't have friends, is what that means is that your wife is your only companion wife is your only source of human affirmation was the answer for that answer that's perfect love of God were to come back to that but but that's the first kind of seriously saying how to fear that ends up coming into our marriage is the sense that that we are unable to maintain control of something that matters to us a register number two with the powerless to control the future. Powerless to control the future. For many, especially women, not only women, but especially many women. What you most love and what you most depend on is in your hopes that your security it's your identity because many of you your your greatest identity and properly so was the mother kids and you start to realize at some point that the things that you love the most. You actually have very little control over that list of questions I gave you what if I never get married.
What if my husband loses his job, but he's a bad dad.
What if you leave me. What if I get unattractive as I get older.
What if I was a child that lead you to is worry sometimes that go into depression like this constant source of sadness, panic attacks, overprotectiveness your kids jealousy over what's going on. Your husband is the sense of constant dissatisfaction. This is the point where filling a priority said too much and so I'm going to ask my anointed eloquent life to come up here on our stage, and asked her to just let you women have okay so Veronica if you come up and lower the boom is really ironic the mentor to talking about being afraid because I'm terrified that that's not the rich irony.
I don't know what is.
And I spent many many hours last couple weeks thinking on this in time been scared of this moment scare you when like me scared to be bored, scared even think I was intelligent statement like my outfit here on and on and on. I don't know as afraid of them because have you seen how JD dresses family does not know he's getting close to 40 and if you see him sobbing unsupervised in the mall. Please call me immediately anyway. Like he said fear really is something that can take over every aspect of your life and dominate a few minutes that the fear of things you can't control and the fear of people laying a sound Simon talk about on that person first and second first island and I have to start with the truth that I've recently been very connected about red last couple nights about Colin overcoming fear, worry and anxiety by Lisa Fitzpatrick and Linda point she made on this simple, so get ready not set wearing is a sin. Every time you do it over whatever it is they are small your stand against God. And when God says in the Bible message. If I hurriedly says I don't read it in Philippians not be anxious in Matthew. Do not worry, and I say at Gabby afraid it wasn't just something that was a rhetorical flash that he said getting a message saying that awkward minutes. He said it because he knows are witnessing is hibernate and he has that not just women men's you can operate in our lives as if we have the responsibility and the power to control our lives and we don't. And that is the source of true deep anxiety. Do you know in the meantime with it is and trying trying to finalize and not because God's power, which is available to is not available to us we start training at these imaginary settings need imaginary difficulties and situations that have not ever actually come to be women deftly have a tendency on more than men, for sure. Let our imaginations run away with us in Matthew 634. When God says Yahweh, not tomorrow because basically he says tomorrow has enough trouble of its own. Only thing really distressing to me, like what is coming.
He is comforting. I'm confused what are you trying to say limitations that it says that the Lord's mercies are new every morning when he saying is that when you come to that trial when you come to that difficulty, he will provide for you then not before he will provide for you, then what you need to withstand anything and strictly because of our imaginations and how we are. We never knew that Grace Corrie 10 Dan tells a story to the greatness tank tell the story when she was 10 years old and because of that tragedy outside of her family began to realize that the people she knew and loved could also die and it really even her father. Her blended father died. She was crying about an talking to her father got very upset and he said Cory looming in Amsterdam went I give you your take the train and she thought that she said when just before we get on the on the train and he said that's right, in our wise father in heaven knows we are going to need the things to do not run ahead of him. Cory when the time comes it's unless will have to die you will look into your heart and find the strength that you need, just in time. I want to dance in my city with the Lewis inspection quotes and I did look for quotes that applied by their wives. That, to no avail, say here's a great one from Spurgeon on this.
Many of God's people are constantly under apprehensions and calamities. Social never cards and any suffer far more a merely training and have to endure anything actually came on in their imagination their vapors in their way and they are anxious to know how they so late when there are no such rivers in existing when they are agitated and distressed about them all the same thousand imaginary daggers start themselves and even bury themselves in imaginary green mean you have got surveying imaginations and was Veronica Greer joining Janie bring this message again or to catch up on premium visit JD Greer.com JD you been pastor of the Summit church for most of the 2000 they can you share with this church looked like before you where the pastor yeah I became pastor in December 2001 churches planted by man named Sam James in 1962 Sam would only preach one official sermon at the church and it was on Isaiah 54, two and three, which was William Carey's famous missionary Dexter that God was telling Israel to expand the borders of the taxes he wanted to use them to bring salvation to a lot more than just their household and also Sam challenged her to do.
He said God founded this church with the mission in mind right and then he left that afternoon to go to Richmond Virginia where he was appointed by the international mission board to be a missionary in Vietnam where he would serve for 40 years, God used that vision. Even though it's really dormant in the church for several decades to use that vision to help revitalize the church and that's one of the stories +7 others that we tell in this in this book hidden graces just talk about how God transformed sleepy, plateaued, declining dying church and how God used faith and faithfulness on behalf of the members vision to revitalize the churches that story was much others. I think what she would encourage you to inspire you place them in the church that you're going in my be something you end up even pass on your pastor. So if you reach out to JD Greer.com to put this this resourcing grants you welcome to request it. When you support this ministry with the donation of $25 or more.
Call 866 528-665-5220 easier you can get online. JD Greer.com hi Molly, so glad you joined with breaking chains that have hurt our relationship just getting started in next JD and Veronica talking about free from slavery to fear Monday on Senate life