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Marriage and the Gospel, Part 2

Summit Life / J.D. Greear
The Truth Network Radio
May 12, 2020 9:00 am

Marriage and the Gospel, Part 2

Summit Life / J.D. Greear

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May 12, 2020 9:00 am

A quick look at the divorce statistics in the U.S. will make it abundantly clear that, as a culture, we’re bad at marriage. Even couples that manage to stay together often end up living parallel lives rather than the “happily ever after” they dreamed of. So what are we missing? Pastor J.D. answers that question as we look at First Peter 3:1-7. It’s part of our series called, I Am an Alien.

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Katie Greer spiritual leadership is not licensed to do what you want to do is empowerment to do what you want to do, which is the love served on her protector family guys listen, I should leave my wife in a way that her submission to me as I blessing not a burden.

I'm only a quick look at the divorce stats in the US make immediately clear.

As a culture we are really bad marriage. Even couples that managed to keep it together often end up living parallel lives not that happily ever after. They dreamed of. So what is it that were missing.

How can we thrive in our marriage and not just survive. Pastor Janie answers that question today. As we look at first Peter chapter 3 verses 1 to 7 when wives are commanded to submit to their husbands less listening to what they think this is crazy. It is outdated. It is backwards. We have moved way beyond this is a culture, why would encourage you first start by thinking about what it means for Jesus to be Lord, to you for Jesus to be Lord means that we don't follow him because on each issue he makes the most sense to us because we immediately agree with what he says about a lot of what he says rubs us the wrong way.

A lot of people will hear this, or maybe run out immediately and find somebody some commentary will explain away what Peter says here what Peter doesn't really mean what he says, Romans one calls that the suppression of truth. Peter will call back, twisting the Scriptures to your own destruction and by the way, as far as our culture have moved beyond this, I would just encourage you, just very soberly to think about the condition of marriages in our culture right now and then ask yourself overruling a place to say we move beyond all this stuff yeah but this passage is going backwards is going back to the old chauvinistic patriarchy, no most of you have never really seen this lived out the way I'm going to explain it to you, which is how I think Peter met it, so I would just save you at least hear me out. Hear me out with an open heart and think about the fact that something so sacrilegious to say but about the fact that maybe your big skeptic. Maybe, just maybe, God's ways are better than your ways.

After all okay.

First Peter chapter 3 verse one Peter chapter 3, verse one. Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands right so start with that word.

Likewise, what does the word likewise me likewise means in the same way if you remember Peter's been talking about various relationships and earthly institutions that God has set up on things like member government. Things like authority structures and what Peter explained to us in chapter 2 was a God has a couple of purposes for those one of his purposes is to reveal himself. He reveals himself in the created order shows us dimensions of him or earthly relationships become tangible demonstrations, a part of his character is other purpose was to keep order on the earth.

Likewise, in the same way. Marriage is an earthly institution that God has set up to reveal himself and to provide stability for both of those reasons, Peter says, God gave the man a leadership role to play in the whole. This has less than nothing to do with women being inferior.

There is no hint of that in this passage is downright denied. Peter says of the husbands were seven wives are heirs with you of the grace of life.

The promises and the privileges of salvation are equal. Which means that men and women are essentially equal.

What about that line about them being the weaker vessel doesn't that imply inferiority. No, that's not what that means. So you got your limit, you say well yeah but but if the husband is given the leadership role that implies that he is superior.

No, as I pointed out to you before, even in the Trinity bear is submission to what you got if you got Jesus was fully God, right, he's equal with God, but he has submitted himself to the father and the role that he plays in the Trinity equal in essence different role. Same thing in marriage, but doesn't mean by the way that women are not to leave in the workplace or the government or society.

That's not what this passage is talking about is only arena that he's talking about here is the whole you say will the guy that I married to doesn't deserve my submission. That's not the Jesus diets. It's not about what your husband deserves. It's about what Jesus commands your husband might not deserve your submission. But Jesus does. First Peter chapter 3 verse seven job number 37. Give honor to the wife as to the weaker vessel. I first there's that difficult phrase weaker scapegoat. You come back to what you thought was lie but here I am okay this is not weaker in terms of intelligence or even capacity for leadership or wisdom. Commentator said it means three different things okay number one. First of all, women are wives are usually literally physically weak men are physically more powerful than their wives so that would be the first thing that he give me their number two, they are weaker in position of authority. Thirdly, it could mean could weaker in terms of the way that women are wired emotionally so he says to the husband as the weaker vessel, you must honor her honor here, by the way, means prefer to use husbands listen the usual position of strength.

Any position of authority that you do have two server not yourself what Christ did for you when we can't come to an agreement she had not.

I have to decide is this a situation where I really have to think of the best interest of the family and make a decision that she disagrees with. If it's not in the best interest of the family. I am to honor her and serve her and prefer her to prioritize her every single I give you examples okay because I want you to think about old heroes get it down into the nitty-gritty, it's date night and we can't decide where to go to eat. She wants to go Italian and I want red meat I would stay. Okay, it's easy to see wins honor her performer means that she went okay, you got an extra three dollars in your budget one month and she wants a new dress and you want golf clubs and you can't get both what you do.

Men is easy when you heard you prefer, you serve her. That's right.

I want to go out with the guys she needs me to stay home and do something with the kids. She's not being unreasonable is the guys easy. She went by the way, who's got the harder role here the harder role. When I asked her to submit to me it's what I'm thinking of the best interest of our family, not my own best interest, which again I could count on one hand the number of times that it actually happened. A few examples on how to frame when this happened then from that's afraid to have five children church. The church can like this one and his wife had all kinds of demands on her since the pastor's wife as they often do, and she really is her to forget buildup to go to school she started to feel like you need to homeschool my kids because you can't really afford private school and I just got to do this in an and all that and he could to see that it was headed for a train wreck because she was not a position to homeschool. It was good destroyer so he goes and says I just don't think it's healthy for you or for family to this guy goes out the interviews all the schools, both private and public, you come to her and said I know you want to homeschool. I know you're driven by guilt in this, but this is what I think we need to do and will figure out how in our budget or their scholarship.

We can get these kids into a school feel good about that is a time where he exercise spiritual leadership, but it wasn't serve himself. It was the server okay I you know and hear him my wife with four kids. She is also passage why there's a whippy water house over all the time and I nurse my wife is just unbelievably stressed out trying to keep the house up in a certain condition in order that people over so my case that we were thought about. Did you like to come in once a month just got to do a deep cleaning just to help you sort about you. Just occasionally we can afford that she's right.

We can't really afford that. But that's come back everyone is like nobody to figure out how to afford it because you need to have this help in order to be able to do what you what you do.

That's the time to exercise spiritual leadership in a situation like that is not for myself.

Server guys listen listen I lose thousand arguments.

I will honor her thousand decisions so that I can speak with authority to the right wants some of you guys assert yourself in all the wrong ones you assert yourself with all these wrong ones were you serve yourself and then you're totally absent from the right wants you should be protecting your family and serving them. I love the statement guys you write this down.

Promise you get your point, your wife will appear right now to write this down. Spiritual leadership is not licensed to do what you want to do is empowerment to do what you ought to do spiritual leadership is essentially not a license to do what you want to do is empowerment to be what you want to do, which is the love served on her protector family guys listen, I should leave my wife in a way that her submission to me is a blessing not bird is one guys a guy believe that the call to the mission field. The girl doesn't what you do.

First you talk about it extensively. Maybe she's got valid reasons why maybe autumns guys get your bill be flighty and spiritual monopoly thinking through all the things. Maybe she's got some ballot points you give it time to come to consensus. But the wife listen after you make your reasons, no at the end of the day. That's when there's arenas that you got to make your reasons number, then you have to be subject to him, but I disagree submission implies, this agreement right if that submission was not agreement. If you only submit when you agree that's not submissive's agreement right submission implies disagree about this.

You need a new car. The guy wants to buy big truck the girl with the Bible gas saver golf cart ligament.

We can afford it. It's not usual plus I was like little golf cart with regard to girls. I would snap radically just yards will lose money on gas what you do in a situation where you talk it out thoroughly. Guide me to listen.

Maybe you're being an idiot. You're not thinking about money girl, maybe your security is in money. Maybe you have too much of an idolatry of money and maybe you need to recognize that your husband feels like a pansy whipping around town and your address with regard itself was a viewing sissy driveway It is, you can't reach agreement what you do girl you met your reasons know guys you listen to her as a gift from God, honor her prefer the end of the day like you have to trust him with the judgment on that none are some of you, cannot my husband is so irresponsible he would wreck us.

You have to let him answer to God Elavil Tony Evans were my favorite preacher says is a spiritual leadership is God telling the woman to dock so we could punch the man got to listen a lot of men listen. A lot of men don't leave because they've never been in the put in a position truly their overprotective mothers always make decisions for them. They live in the basement of the 34 years old almost protecting them from all the consequences of their decision never forced to act like men get married to a girl basically takes over missing girl. I'm not telling you what was your fault.

I'm just saying if you gotta create a vacuum of leadership forced them to grow up. When my wife does this not that I was 34 billion videogames. Mama's basement. But my wife does this to me so much pressure on me sufficient like you are well. This is what I think you know at the end of the day you gotta make this decision and you got answer to God for that forces me to start thinking like a man. I can hide in that group thinking overawed nobody really George rolled out in this together tight notes on my head on my head that forces me to grow up and be the leader that God has told me to be one of our pastor says it this way. Submission is not about what women can or can't do. It's about what men are called to do and don't write my given me real quick what you look at two more verses in here will bring my varsity squad appear let her some perspective on these right to require good good verse three good verse three. Slight change of topic, but you'll see all ties together. You know what you're going to be external the writing of hair and put on a gold jewelry.

The closing that you where bullets are going to be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. Isolate Peter now is doing is talking to wives about two different kinds of beauty there's a kind of beauty that the world that we live in, always prioritizes and tells you to go after its external deals with close being in and shape your body is in the money value of your jewelry, but then Peter talked about another kind of beauty. The beauty that comes from Christ likeness that were gentle by the way, there were gentle is a word that you throughout the Gospels repeatedly to describe Jesus so he saying there is a greater beauty that is at work inside you is Jesus's beauty and that is a beauty that never perishes is that you want to prioritize that kind of media because God sighed it's very precious and see the implication in your husband's eyes it will become more precious as well.

My wife is still I believe very physically beautiful, but she said for children.

Sometimes I look at her. And here is a girl who is given her life. Sacrificially antibody to serve our family and me. There is a Christlike beauty that exudes out of her even as she ages. She is more beautiful now than the day that I married her and that's not sentimental like garbage that you throw out when you know you really need. She is more beautiful to me now than the day I married her because there is a Christ likeness and imperishable beauty that is growing in her and exuding out of her some of the most beautiful women I know are older they had this inner beauty that exudes from them.

On the other hand, there are some of you that have been so dependent on external beauty when you were young you were tight close a lot of makeup when you start to get older, but because that was all you had. You got desperate start to dress inappropriately for somebody your rage and submit to start a new weird things to your face, trying to hold onto a beauty that ultimately is perishable. This is a greater beauty, sweeter beauty that you need to focus on the beauty that is imperishable and exuding from units precious in God's sight as you seem to say little change your husband to become precious in his this is great leaders done is apply the doctrine of the resurrection. Even the physical beauty for only office about Rupert I told you that evangelical Christians like us have trouble understanding where the resurrection fits into how we see the world so we know we honor the resurrection. One time at Easter U resurrection sermon basically just exist to prove that Christianity is right, but otherwise we will talk about the gospel. We always talk about the cross, Jesus Godfrey when you're explaining the gospel your Jesus died for your sins and your place and resurrected going know that means but you know I'm writing it. What Peter is done is take when Luke summarize the message of the apostles in one word in the book of acts use the word resurrection here you're seeing the example what that looks like literally the entire book of first Peter every single treaty teach goes back to the resurrection he saying even your physical beauty you want to see in the lives of the resurrection, because you are seeing that while the outward body can fade. There is an inner beauty that you hold onto because that exudes out of you and it goes on forever and it is sweeter and more beautiful and it is imperishable to just focus on that resurrection. It's a work within you.

Okay, it's universal.

Now again I told you that I thought the varsity squad would help give you for some perspective.

Someone asked my wife if she will come up here and join me and him and ask her a few questions. Would you mind welcoming and all of our campuses walk my wife to say I don't. Great submit request for you maybe for there's only three nightly talk to the lightning round Sears questionable one in first Peter three talks about a quiet spirit, and there are some women who hear that what they think is dormant they wildly have naturally like you really can't quiet personality and some of them know this, but you're not exactly the quietest person you are more robust personality will say that way to the question is, can a woman with a strong personality still have a quiet spirit, like I this is this is a question that is close to my heart because it's 80 said I knew really early on in my life that I fell into the loud personality category and so I would read this passage in it was sort of distressing to me because I sort of thought into what is when my sister doing that on Sesame Street. You learn that opposites are loud and client and is the way my left with to do and he was saying even if I were to try and beam more quiet. I would be still on this entirely unsuccessful because most of the time and loud and don't even realize it said not really any successful attempt on my part. When she talked on the phone about Martin wiping up with all your friends can hear you where you just let my mom and my sister no, I've come to understand his passage on the latest men I think of the years and I have made my peace with it and Sam. It doesn't matter about which your outer personality as I really think I is made each of us a certain way. He's made me a certain way and that's not to say that every inclination that I never had his right that he has made me a certain way because it brings him joy and I don't need to make remake myself and the son other model that I think is somehow better because that's just not the case. The passage is talking about your spirits and it's actually possible with impossible and to be outwardly quiet and reserved, and it had anything but a quiet and gentle spirit that this passage is talking about. The question is are you surrendered to God.

And then if you're married, this passage is connected directly to how you treat and relate to your husband so you surrendered to God submitted to God and submitting to your husband that has nothing to do with the outward expression.

Give an example of that, you know, I think sometimes Jeannie has told me before he is only the four likely left essential situation. I would be thinking. You know what what bothered him trying to family.

It bothered him at night or something.

If we were out or something and when you tell me when it bothered him I would be denied. It bothered him and already felt inspected in town. How done it was that he felt that way and how clearly sin is unisex and that Wayne yet he were to tell me when I tell him I feel sad or lonely. This went down. I feel that way and explain how logically I shouldn't feel that way I would be really offended inside to learn after like this happens repeatedly if I went to live in peace and harmony with him. I need to hear what he was saying to me and act accordingly.

Whether I sort of felt that way or not mean you this is it's it's it it is what is so yeah I guess that's a good example question number two is about submission that talked about a lot. What is it what is it mean to you what it means to you to submit and then do you feel inferior.

When you do that's that's a given sale.

I think an example of land had to submit it. Like Katie said earlier doesn't it doesn't happen often.

Example is about a year ago when we lived, and JD felt very strongly where we lived. Before that, we need to needs to be closer to the church only had a 9-to-5 job so he went to be able to be home as much as was like physically possible, and Satan like me to needs to make that more possible. I only had a hint did not feel like need to knew that I felt like we lived close enough I loves our cul-de-sac lot. We had a great sense and we had neighbors kids are kids ages. I mean I just seen. I just think that weight class. We had a super target 2 miles away who needs got home and he got a supergiant team as a liaison fan say no anyway, after several years of me just trying to way and out and I guess thinking he would forget about it or something. Pretty sure he's doing the same thing that time. I finally realized it wasn't happening.

We are feeling the exact same way since I was getting have to submit.

He didn't say that he didn't demand that I just the learning it clear to me and I just knew it was when I asked you, so we moved now look alike to you. I still have to go visit my super target. I miss it so much I still miss my super target that's really that he is home, far more than he ever was before, and extends so much happier. My kids see him so much more in day or so much happier. It's a pretty good trade for the second part of question do you feel inferior. Definitely not. In the 19 mentioned earlier, when I can manage it in the few times I've had to do it. I feel like an Inca company. Because you see the best example of it in the Trinity and so when I can manage to do it there in the right way I see it is a Christlike attribute now seated as a victory send out. I think that would be the best advice I can get to single women in here young single women and that is Jeannie makes it easy onset on top of that.

Jeannie's it easy for me to to follow him. So I would tell you a single woman Mary some minutes you will find it easy to follow and you will end up in a situation we are like really fighting. It's really difficult battle to submit because you married someone that you respect and trust, and you can get to one another by showing honor and inspect grace and generosity. Solid biblical teaching right here on Summit life in a special message about marriage in the gospel from JD and Veronica Greer. If there's one thing that will transform our walk with the Lord spending one-on-one time in God's word. We have created a set three Bible studies that walk us through the book of Romans this year and in January we spent a month beginning that journey while releasing volume 1 of the state. Now is the time to get volume 2, we'd like for you to continue this Bible study as our way of saying thanks when you donate to support this ministry.

Summit life is funded by listeners like you. So when you get your actually getting to another listener helping them into the gospel join that mission by giving today and remember to ask for volume to the Romans Bible study, 335-5220 866-335-5224. Give online JD If you miss volume 1 is also still available, along with the entire box call today with your get send it right out.

I'm only the events you for being here with us today and tomorrow when we hear more from JD and Veronica about marriage is on display. Listener Wednesday to summit life. Katie sponsored by Katie

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