Sexual Sin, Broken Trust, and Disappointed Hopes

Today on Summit Life with J.D.

Greer. I was tempted. I got carried away. I got caught in a bad place at the wrong time.

But here's the thing. You put yourself in those positions. You wanted to be tempted.

So don't use passive tense verbs to excuse your active tense choices. It's not usually I was tempted, but I chose to be tempted and I liked it. Thanks for joining us today for Summit Life with pastor, author, and apologist, J.D. Greer.

I'm your host, Molly Vitovich. Today, Pastor J.D. helps us process a very difficult passage in 2 Samuel and a turning point in the life of David, the story of David and Bathsheba. Could this be the same David who we now know was called a man after God's own heart? Thankfully, David was indeed repentant and forgiven, but his sin would affect everyone around him and serve as a stern warning to us even today. You see, what we learn as we continue on in this new teaching series is that there has always been a deep longing for another king, a better king, Jesus.

And thankfully, we can know him today. Just a heads up for the little ears who might be listening. This sermon does contain some details about David's sin with Bathsheba. And you know what that might mean. So you might consider some earbuds or maybe you can catch up online anytime at J.D.

Greer dot com. So let's join Pastor J.D. in 2 Samuel 11 now. 2 Samuel chapter 11, verse one. In the spring at the time, when kings go off to war, David sent Joab out with the king's mighty men and the whole Israelite army. But David remained in Jerusalem.

Why was Israel's king not out leading the nation in battle? Verse two. One evening David got up from his bed and walked around the roof of the palace. From the roof he saw a woman bathing.

The woman was very beautiful. David sent somebody to find out about her. The man said, She is Bathsheba, the daughter of Eliam and the wife of Uriah the Hittite. Then David sent messengers to get her. The Hebrew there literally says to take her. He sent messengers to take her. She came to him and he slept with her.

Then she went back home. The woman conceived and sent word to David saying, I'm pregnant. Verse six. So David sent this word to Joab, his army commander. Send me Uriah the Hittite.

That was her husband. And Joab sent Uriah to David. David asked him how Joab was, how the soldiers were, and how the war was going. Then David said to Uriah, You know, I know you're tired.

Go down to your house and wash your feet. David is super friendly, very casual. Uriah probably felt flattered that the king would want to talk directly with him. After some small talk David says to Uriah, Listen man, I know it's been a long journey. I know you've been away from your wife for quite a while.

So why don't you go home and wash your feet? That's a Hebrew euphemism, by the way, for go home and kick back and sleep with your wife. That way David figures everybody, including Uriah, will assume that the baby is Uriah. So Uriah left the palace and a gift from the king was sent to his home after him. Undoubtedly, it's a reference to wine and raisin cakes, which we learned a couple of weeks ago.

We're like Hebrew aphrodisiacs. Verse nine. But Uriah slept at the entrance to the palace with all of his master's servants and did not even go down to his house. David was told later Uriah didn't even go home last night. So he asked Uriah, Haven't you come home from a military campaign?

Haven't you been out on the road for quite a while? Why didn't you go home, sailor? Verse 11. Uriah said to David, Well, the ark of Israel and Judah are staying in tents and my commander Joab and the king's men are camped in the open country.

How can I possibly go to my house and eat and drink and make love to my wife? As surely as you live, old king, I will not do such a thing. Uriah turns out to be quite noble and quite loyal. Verse 12. Then David said to him, Well, then stay here one more day and tomorrow I'll send you back.

So Uriah remained in Jerusalem that day and the next. At David's invitation he ate and drank with him and David made him drunk. Because drunk men tend to lose their nobility, of course, but in the evening Uriah went out to sleep on his mat among his master-servants. Again, he did not go home, whether that was an intentional choice on his part or if he was just so drunk that he collapsed before getting home.

Either way, he never made it home. So verse 14. Verse 14. In the morning David wrote a letter to Joab and sent it with Uriah. It was already sealed so Uriah would not have read it. David probably figured that if he tried a third time to get Uriah to go into Bathsheba that people might get suspicious. So in the letter that he handed to Uriah he says to Joab, Put Uriah out in front where the fighting is the fiercest. Then withdraw from him so that he will be struck down and die. In other words, send out Uriah into the hottest part of the battle and then have the rest of the army pull back from his company and let my enemy armies take care of my problem. Uriah literally carries in his hand unwittingly his own death sentence. So Joab did what the king commanded.

Verse 18. Then Joab and David sent, then Joab sent David a full account of the battle. He instructed the messenger, When you have finished giving the king this account of the battle, the king's anger may flare up and he may ask you, Why did you get so close to the city to fight? Didn't you know they would shoot arrows from the wall? If he asks you this, then say to him, No, no, your servant Uriah the Hittite is dead.

Let me translate that for you. Joab knew that what he commanded would have been considered a boneheaded military mistake that no experienced general would ever make. And he's afraid that when David hears about this, David is going to forget that David is the one who ordered it and he's going to blame Joab for being careless. So Joab says, When David hears what happened, just emphasize Uriah, wink, wink, Uriah died too.

And then he'll remember. And so the messenger, verse 22, told David everything Joab had sent him to say. He said, And some of the king's men died. Moreover, your servant Uriah the Hittite is dead also. David told the messenger, Say this back to Joab, Joab, don't let this upset you. You know, the sword devours one as well as another.

Press the attack against the city and destroy it. Say this to encourage Joab. By the way, this is the kind of good old boy network that far too many sex abuse victims have encountered, where powerful men watch out for each other's backs. Verse 26, When Uriah's wife heard that her husband was dead, she mourned for him. After the time of mourning was over, David had her brought to his house and she became his wife and bore him that son. And everybody just assumed that she just got pregnant on their honeymoon. And David, by the way, even got some good PR out of it because now he's taking care of the family of a fallen soldier and they all live happily ever after.

Right? 2 Samuel 11 ends with these chilling words, But the thing that David had done displeased the Lord. And when everybody in here who's ever been any kind of victim or any kind of survivor of sex abuse, I need you to see that last phrase because what it means is that God sees. He saw and it displeased him and he will bring justice.

I want you to let this sink in, church. This is David, the man after God's own heart, the hope for and long anticipated King of Israel. David, the giant slayer. David, the sweet shepherd of God's people and author of so many beautiful Psalms. David, who had refused so many times to take matters into his own hands. David, to whom God made all those incredible promises in 2 Samuel 7. David, who spoke so beautifully about integrity and worship. This David, same guy, has taken one of his younger captain's wives and slept with her and then had that loyal colleague and his company of soldiers murdered to cover it all up. By the way, in 2 Samuel 23, later in this book, we're going to find out that Uriah had been one of David's mighty men. Mighty men was an elite group of 37 fighters that were like David's Praetorian Guard, his Navy SEAL Team 6, brothers in arms who had been with David from the beginning. Uriah had joined up with David when David was an outcast in the wilderness, running for his life. Uriah had believed in David and stood by David when nobody else would. He had fought with David and bled with David. Now David not only steals his wife, he has him murdered. Not just him, by the way.

When Joab ordered the army to pull back, he left the whole squadron exposed, which means that a bunch of soldiers died, all as a cover-up for David's pleasure. There are some very important things in here that we can learn about sexual sin and abuses of power. I'm going to point those out. More importantly, this passage is going to answer an even deeper question for us. That question is, why does every human leader end up disappointing us? Fathers and mothers, pastors and coaches, mentors, bosses, best friends, they all disappoint.

Maybe not this badly, but they all do to some degree. Why is that? I'm going to show you today what to do with that when it happens to you. Then, ironically, I'm going to show you how understanding that can help you avoid doing to somebody else what David does to Uriah and Bathsheba. Two things we're going to see today. Number one, we're going to see the nature of David's sin.

Number two, we're going to see our longing for a righteous king and how God fulfills that. Number one, the nature of David's sin. How did David get into this situation?

Let me make several observations. The first observation is that David was disengaged from the battle. Did you see that in verse one? Verse one says, in the times when kings go off to war, David stayed in Jerusalem. For maybe the first time in his adult life, David is not leading God's people into battle.

He sends out a proxy, and he stays at home. David, the mighty warrior, the one who rushed out into battle against Goliath all by himself, when everybody else in the army stood like cowards on the sideline. Now he is not even with the armies. David, the warrior, has become David, the relaxer.

That sets him up for this encounter. You see, friend, when you are disengaged from the battle that God has for you, that is when you are most susceptible to the temptations of the flesh. Listen, everything I'm going to say today applies to both genders, but let me talk for a moment specifically to you men. Men, it is when you have disengaged from your role as spiritual leader in your family or your community or whatever sphere God has given you to lead in. It is when you've disengaged from that leadership role that the allure and the excitement of sex promises a fulfillment, a distraction, an adventure that you desperately crave. I mean, listen, you were created to lead.

I don't care if you're type A. I don't care if you're outgoing or not. You were created to lead. You were created to fight. You were created to serve.

You were created to protect. When you are not doing that, that's when those God-given energies look for a different outlet. Quite often, that outlet is the intoxication of illicit sex. I can tell you from personal experience that the attractions of illicit sex lose a lot of their power, not all of their power, but a lot of it, when you are actively engaged as the spiritual leader in your family or in whatever form God has given you to lead in. You are to be actively engaged in the battle, and when you are, you won't be as susceptible to these cravings.

Don't believe me? Try pulling down your pants in a rugby match. You don't have time to think about that in a rugby match.

You've got people coming at you from every direction. You've got too much to focus on to think about that. For many of you men, see, your problem is not a lustful body. Your problem is a bored soul, an empty soul. It's not that you have uncontrollable lust. It's that you've not yet stepped into the leadership calling that God has for you. For many of you, your sexual sin, it doesn't start as a sin of commission.

It starts as a sin of omission. It's because of what you have omitted from your life in being a spiritual leader that you then become susceptible to the commission of the sexual sins of whatever variety. Thanks for joining us today here on Summit Life with Pastor JD Greer. We'll get back to today's teaching soon, but first I wanted to tell you about our brand new featured resource that starts today. Since we're continuing in our study of David for a few more days, we wanted to equip you with more wisdom and understanding about this portion of scripture. We are offering a commentary that Pastor JD co-wrote with Heath Thomas called Exalting Jesus in 1 and 2 Samuel. In this book, we take a closer look at the strongly contrasting stories of Israel's first two kings, Saul and David. And like the title suggests, it's designed to help you see the message of the gospel and Jesus through the lens of the Old Testament.

Here at Summit Life, we believe that all of the Bible is ultimately about Jesus, including the stories of the kings of Israel. And this practical commentary in the form of a series of sermons features illustrations, applications, and end of chapter discussion questions. It would be ideal for a small group study or for your own personal devotional time. We'd love to send you a copy with your gift of $35 or more to this ministry.

Call us now at 866-335-5220 or give your gift online at jdgreer.com. Now let's get back to today's teaching. Once again, here's Pastor JD. Second thing for you to notice is that David put himself into a place where he could be tempted. He put himself in a place where he could be tempted. He's not walking on the roof.

At night, this is like the Old Testament version of browsing the internet alone late at night. He points, he clicks, and he clicks again. And then he dwells. And then the feelings start to overpower him. Sexual sins usually don't overtake you all at once.

The temptation grows gradually and you become complicit with the temptation. Maybe it's going for drinks with that person after work, or maybe it's meeting them in the bar late at night when you're on a business trip together. Maybe it's engaging in extensive private text conversations. Maybe it's just ensuring that you show up at the same place at the same time in your neighborhood so that you happen to run into them.

In those moments, you can almost always rationalize whatever it is you're doing. Oh, we're just hanging out. Oh, we're just getting drinks. Oh, we just really understand each other. There's some things we've really connected on.

We can really help each other out. But you have put yourself in a place to be tempted and you know it. Long before you commit the sin, long before you commit the sin, you know that it's coming. You just won't be honest with yourself about what is happening because you enjoy the temptation.

A lot of times we use passive tense verbs to explain our active sinful choices. I was tempted. I got carried away. I got caught in a bad place at the wrong time.

But here's the thing. You put yourself in those positions. You wanted to be tempted. So don't use passive tense verbs to excuse your active tense choices. It's not usually, I was tempted, but I chose to be tempted and I liked it.

Write this down. It's easier to avoid temptation than it is to resist it. It is easier to avoid temptation than it is to resist it. Y'all listen, as a child of the 80s, I learned many of my most important life lessons from Mr. Miyagi on Karate Kid. And one that always stuck with me was from Karate Kid II, where Mr. Miyagi said, the best way to avoid a punch, Daniel said, is to stay out of places where you're likely to get into a fight.

Before you work on all the moves of how to avoid the punch, just don't go in a place you're going to get in a fight. It is easier to avoid temptation than it is to resist it. Or like Martin Luther, the 16th century reformer, used to say, if your head is made out of butter, stay away from the fire. If your head is made out of butter, don't go near the fire. Don't take a chance of having your head melted off. Your head's too important for you to take chances with. See, that means you're going to have to make decisions that others are not going to understand.

They might even ridicule them, but for you the stakes are just too high. Years ago I read this thing by Dietrich Bonhoeffer, and if you don't remember, Dietrich Bonhoeffer was a German pastor who stood up against the Nazi regime. He even participated in this sabotage attempt to assassinate Adolf Hitler and ultimately was hung for it. Bonhoeffer said something in his book Temptation that I thought perfectly described my own path. Listen to this. In our members there's a slumbering inclination toward desire that is awakened with sudden ferocity. With irresistible power all at once, desire sees as mastery of the flesh.

The flesh burns and is in flames. In this moment God becomes quite unreal to us. Desire envelops us in darkness and makes us utterly forget God. Therefore the Bible teaches us that in times of temptation to our flesh there is one command. Quote scripture. Is that what it says?

No, there's one command. What's the Bible say? Flee. Flee you for lust. Flee worldly temptation.

Run. No human being, he says, no human being has within them the strength to resist such overpowering emotions. Again, can I remind you this from a man who stared down the Nazi regime and was ultimately executed for it. This is not a guy who lacks willpower. This is not a guy who lacks stamina. It's not a guy who lacks courage. But even he says no human being has within them the strength to resist such overpowering emotions. So I will say it to you again. It is easier for you to avoid temptation than it is for you to resist it.

Many today mock the idea of a married man or married woman who refuses to be alone with somebody of the opposite sex. And listen y'all, I get it. I get it. We live in a world where men and women have to do business together and they should be able to relate to each other like equals and colleagues and not just potential sex objects. So I understand. But before you tear down a wall, you should at least ask why it's there. I believe that we men and women can treat each other with respect and dignity and have legitimate friendships and still recognize that it is not wise to put ourselves in situations where we can be tempted.

Stay off the balcony. For some of you that means getting accountability around your internet. Covenant software or something like that would work. For others of you that means rethinking who you text with or how often you text or what you text about or being honest with yourself about how much you're enjoying certain interactions. I will tell you my wife has all my passwords and open access to every form of communication in my life. We have two apps that show exactly where each other is at all times. That is not because we don't trust each other. We do. I just don't want anything to grow in my life in secret.

I don't want to play Russian roulette with my family or the lives of my kids or the lives of others or my own soul. David put himself in a place to be tempted. The third thing to notice is that David objectified this woman. He didn't think of her as a person. He thought of her as an object for his pleasure. The author points this out to us in a very subtle way.

Did you notice it? Verse 3, when David sent somebody to find out about who this woman was, the response came back. Oh, this is Bathsheba.

She's got a name. The daughter of Eliam. That's her dad. And the wife of Uriah the Hittite. That's her husband.

Why does the author record it that way? It's because he is reminding us that Bathsheba was not just a beautiful woman. She was somebody's daughter. She was somebody's wife. She might have been somebody's mother. This is a person who loves and was loved for things far beyond the beauty of her body. But see, David doesn't think about any of that, does he?

She's just an object to satisfy his lusts. Many of our worst sins begin with dehumanizing somebody. We hear about Nazi crimes or even about the slave trade in our own country, and we think, how could actual civilized religious moral people do things like that? I took a tour of the Rosa Parks Museum this week when I was in Montgomery, Alabama, and one of the exhibits explained how that could happen in our country.

Many white slave owners, this exhibit explained, some of whom otherwise might have been decent moral people, objectified African Americans, and that kept them from thinking about what horrible things they were inflicting on an actual person. See, that happens with sexual sin, too. You forget that you're dealing with somebody's life, usually multiple people's lives. This person is somebody's daughter, somebody's mother, somebody's wife or future wife. That man that you're messing around with is some little girl's daddy. One of the books that we use here in our G4 groups at the Summit, those are groups that help people who struggle to overcome temptation, gives this really practical counsel to men.

Listen to this. It says, men, when you're at the mall and you notice an attractive woman, look at her face and notice if she looks tired. If she's carrying packages, consider who she might be carrying them for and think, I bet she's a great mom. Make her a person and give her a life and ask yourself, I wonder if she knows Jesus, then pray for her. You see, giving her a spirit will often dispel the temptation.

You get what I'm saying there? Well, I'd say one of the things that has always kept me away from pornography is realizing that the person on the other side of that camera is a real person. She was once a little girl with all kinds of dreams that did not include being looked at like this. The story of David and Bathsheba is a difficult one and provides us with a powerful warning never to let our guard down when it comes to any sin, especially sexual sin. If you missed any part of today's important message, you can always catch up at jdgrier.com. Pastor JD, we have a brand new featured resource starting today, and some books are designed to be read in an evening or cover to cover over a few settings. This one we're offering to our listeners this month, however, is not quite like that, right?

Yeah, yeah, that's right. I mean, it's technically a commentary. It's a thing of it as a reference book. Now, I will say, I'm the author and editor. I mean, a friend co-wrote it.

I think it's readable. You know, the same kind of way that you hear us teaching some of life is the way this book is written. I've used commentaries like this one as a part of my quiet time.

Sometimes I really want to press into a book. So I think you could find it that way, but if you're teaching in any way, whether it's just teaching your kids or doing Bible study or something, it's a great resource to have to say, how can I make sure I get this passage right and tie it into the larger theme? Earlier, you and I were talking, Molly, about how much you like to use resources, whether it's the Bible project or Bible recap that would help you kind of set the story in the whole. That's what this commentary does. So anyway, we'd love to be able to give you a copy of this. It goes along with the life of David. It'll show you some of the stuff you can't cover in a message.

It'll help you go deeper. You can reserve your copy today at jdgreer.com. Thanks, JD. We'd love to send you a copy with your gift card. If you'd like to send you a copy with your gift of $35 or more to this ministry to give, call us at 866-335-5220. That's 866-335-5220.

Or you can give them online at jdgreer.com. I'm Molly Vitovich, inviting you to join us tomorrow for the conclusion of our teaching Bathsheba. We'll see you Wednesday right here for Summit Life with J.D. Greer. Today's program was produced and sponsored by J.D. Greer Ministries.