Today on Summit Life with J.D. Greer. Men and women were created differently to reveal complementary aspects of the image of God. It's not that men are superior, neither is superior. It's just the roles that are given are different so that when the two are doing the different roles, we can more accurately see and learn about God. Welcome back to Summit Life with Pastor J.D. Greer.
As always, I'm your host Molly Vidovitch. You know, for a lot of us, our views on love and relationships were shaped in part by the songs we listened to growing up or the movies we watched as a teen. I mean, think about it. That's kind of true, right?
We've got all those lyrics stuck in our head or that scene we want to recreate in real life. But the reality is there's only one relationship model we should care about, and thankfully it doesn't come from Hollywood. Today we're discovering the biblical design for marriage and family as Pastor J.D. continues our study in the book of Ephesians, chapter 5. Let's join him now for part two of a message he titled God's Laboratories. The end of Ephesians 5. Paul is going to give you another very important principle for spiritual growth, and that is, what is that thing that he is going to use to teach us about God? That is our relationships. And he explains that these relationships are like laboratories that God has set up to make you like himself. He's going to go through three examples.
We're going to spend most of our time on the first one. Mowage. Mowage, all right? Verse 22. Wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Verse 25. Husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, in the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies, because he who loves his wife is really loving himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes it and cherishes it just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. Therefore, verse 31, a man shall leave his father and mother, this is a quote from Genesis 2 verse 25, leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. This mystery is profound, Paul says, because I am saying that this actually refers to Christ and the church. In other words, God gave marriage, get this, get this, God gave marriage to teach us about his love for us. You say how?
At least three ways. Number one, number one, in the delights of marriage we get a taste of the beauty of God. It is the love of God that is pictured in marriage that makes marriage so beautiful. It's why so many people cry in weddings. And I know we got people here that you're like, I'm not really interested in God, but yeah there's something about marriage that moves you, that's why.
It is whispering in your heart and calling out to you for a love that you were created for. Here's number two. Number two, in the roles of marriage we get a picture of the image of God. What we learn from Genesis is that man and woman are both created in the image of God, but differently, and this is what Paul is reminding them of in this passage, that they are different on purpose to reveal different aspects of the image of God. Verse 23, look at that, it says, the husband plays the role of the head of the wife like Christ is the head of the church and is himself its savior, which means he is to lead her like God leads his people. And in leading her she gets to experience what God's leadership is like, like a ray of the sun. She gets to experience something of God in his leadership and you, the man, get to experience what it's like to love and to lead like God. When you study Genesis you find that there are at least four ways that man was clearly designated to be the leader in that relationship.
I go back to, you don't have to go back, turn back to Genesis 2, let me just walk you back through it. Genesis 2, the first thing you see is that he was to be a leader in provision. That before woman was ever created man has a job in the garden. Number two, he leads spiritually. He leads spiritually.
When the woman is created the man already has a relationship to God and she is brought into it. Number three, we see that he led in romance. He led in romance.
The first human words recorded in the Bible were that of the man composing a love poem about his wife, Genesis 2 26. Number four, in sacrifice. In sacrifice. Here in Ephesians you see that he is to love her like Christ loves the church.
The kind of leadership that comes not to be served but to serve. The point is in these four ways, husband, this is what you should hear. Your wife learns about God from you and you are supposed to learn to be like God as you love her and lead her. Wife. Wife, what is your role? You are to play the role of the church. How is the woman like the church? The wife is like the church in that she submits. You're like uh-uh, no he didn't. Yes he did.
Okay and I checked them to make sure this podium is bulletproof. She submits which means a she surrenders her ambitions to his. That means she ceases to build her own kingdom and yields herself to building her husband's and her family's kingdom. Let me make this clear because I don't want to over speak.
The Bible is not against women in careers but it is against those who do so at the expense of their families. This submission B means that she surrenders her will to his. Many of you are like well I'd submit if he'd grow up. My husband is such an idiot.
I mean last time I went to my sister's house he almost sold our house for some magic beans. I can't submit to that he'd drive us into the ground. Two thoughts, I only have time for two thoughts. Number one, if you only submit to your husband when you agree with him, that's not submission, that's agreement.
All right? Submission implies that you don't agree, otherwise it's not submission. And don't agree means that you think he's making a wrong decision. That's the only time you get to apply this verse. Number two, the reason that some of you don't have a husband who will take leadership is because you've always done it. You're like a pastor if I don't somebody, nobody will. My challenge to some of you is yeah let that create a leadership vacuum and watch what that does to your husband because when that mantle of leadership falls on his shoulders sometimes the weight of that changes him. Many of you have passive husbands because you've always stepped in and taken leadership.
Now man I just remind you for us that leadership is never to dominate. I'm to lead like Christ. I want to lead her in such a sacrificial way that submitting to me is a delight for her and not a burden. I tell my wife I want her submission to me to be like her submission to the temptation to chocolate. Give in, let go.
Right? This is the most enjoyable submission that you'll ever encounter. I want to lead my wife in a way that independence for me would be a burden. Here is the point, men and women were created differently to reveal complementary aspects of the image of God. No it's not that men are superior, it's just that the roles we play are different.
It's not that women are superior, neither is superior. It's just the roles that are given are different so that when the two are doing the different roles we can more accurately see and learn about God. Y'all and when you tear down that distinction as our culture is done you remove something so very important that God intended to use to teach us about himself. Which is why as our society has thrown this off it has produced unparalleled harm in our homes and in our children. You can trace, you can trace the increase of crime and by the way I'm not even using preacher statistics here okay.
These are real ones. You can trace, you can trace the increase of crime, dropout rates, teen pregnancy, suicide rates, homosexuality and a number of other things to when our society formally rejected the biblical understanding of family. I'm not speaking politically here okay. I'm just saying that when this idea of what the Bible had called the man and the woman to when we lost that when the radical feminist revolution really began to take over. Let me also make this clear part of that revolution was awesome and needed all right. A lot of it tore down some of these these these prejudices and stereotypes and that was good. Women recognizing the equality of women that was good but it went too far in that it tore down any distinctions and said the only differences between men and women were the plumbing and that is not true. Lots of parts of you are different to reveal different dimensions of the image of God and we ignore that and we dismiss that at our peril and I would say the stats prove that pretty abundantly. Here's number three and the forgiveness required in marriage and the forgiveness required in marriage we get a taste of the grace of God and the forgiveness required in marriage we get a taste of the grace of God. You know the biggest learning curve in marriage I have found is how much you disappoint each other in that first year of marriage. Here's what the problem is you think you're marrying somebody perfect and then you get married you're like wow how did they keep that hidden while we were dating how did I not see that and a lot of people get really disappointed and then they divorce and they even feel justified because they're like hey you were supposed to make me happy you didn't keep up your end of the contract so I don't need to keep up my end either you didn't make me happy and so I'm leaving but here's the question what if God's main intention in marriage was not to make you happy by giving you a perfect mate y'all if that had been God's intention he would have had us marry angels some newlywed guy says I did marry an angel shut up okay no you didn't you married a sinner and unless they are virgin born chances are they got some deep dysfunction and if you don't know that yet have a good next year okay enjoy enjoy what if God's intention in marriage is what Paul says it is and that is to make you like Jesus and what if in marriage he gives you a chance to be up close to a sinner to see all their faults so you can learn how Jesus loves you and learn to love others that way you're listening to Summit Life with JD Greer and we are so glad that you've joined us before we jump back into today's teaching I want to let you know about a resource that we've created to help you dive deeper into God's word it's our second installment in the popular gospel flip book series we began last year it's a spiral bound collection of flashcards that will guide you through reading four of the most influential of Paul's epistles Galatians Ephesians Philippians and Colossians we believe that time spent in God's word is the most important part of any believer's journey and we've designed this resource to help make that time both engaging and fruitful the gospel flip book includes a reading plan that takes you through each of these four books as well as historical information about the churches key passages and plus we've included guided prayers and reflections to help you really apply what you're learning personally we'd love to send you a copy of this second gospel flip book as our way of saying thank you for supporting this ministry to get yours simply call us with your gift at 866-335-5220 or visit jdgrier.com now let's get back to today's teaching here on summit life once again here's pastor jd men this is the primary place that you are supposed to leave you want to know what your crown is that you're wearing this is the one verse 25 love your wives like Christ loved the church guys you ever stop to think about what that really means to love your wife like Christ loves the church usually we just think that that means we're sensitive and thoughtful and bring home flowers from time to time that really that's how Christ loved the church he was thoughtful to quote c.s lewis quote the husband who embodies this verse is the one whose marriage most feels like a crucifixion it is the husband whose wife receives most and gives the least it is the one whose wife is most unworthy of him who is in her own mere nature the least lovable for the church has no beauty but what the bridegroom gives to her jesus does not find but makes the church lovely y'all there's that moment in every wedding when the wife almost said storms in but that's not what i'm trying to say she enters into the place it's like a storm it's like everybody turns and looks you know and it's and in that moment in that wedding i get a lump in my throat and it's usually not because of how beautiful the woman is if i've done your wedding no offense the corner of my eye right here i'm seeing some i did their wedding recently um but my eye right here i'm seeing some i did their wedding recently um it's usually not because of how beautiful she is though she is indeed beautiful as they come through the that door it's because suddenly i remember usually in that moment that here is a woman that is beautifully dressed purity just what an incredible what an incredible beauty that she's coming through and i remember that in the wedding that this one is supposed to picture when i came into that ceremony i was not perfect and spotless and beautiful i was deformed and scarred and used and had sold and given myself to sin so many times that i came through as if i were the worst possible woman alive and jesus stood there as the perfect bridegroom he did not find me lovely he made me lovely you picture that in marriage you help your spouse become lovely how did jesus do that how did jesus make me lovely how did he look at look at verse 25 shows you christ loved the church gave himself up for her that he might sanctify her that he might present the church to himself holy and without blemish how did he sanctify her by absorbing her sin when we wronged him you help your spouse become holy not by punishing them for their sin or paying them back but by giving them radical grace right i mean when our spouses have a problem when my wife has a blemish in marriage our way to correct that is usually to try and fix them i'm gonna pay him back this was like my entire first year of marriage i'm going to confront my wife and argue her back into godliness this is clearly what you're doing wrong and i'm here to be god's tool sanctification and i'm gonna pay you back and teach you to love god they wronged you so you will yell at them and you'll correct them but that's not how jesus changed you is it jesus didn't change you by paying you back for your sin he changed you by absorbing the effects of your sin into himself and seeing his grace awoke in me a love for him that completely changed my heart god uses marriage to a sinner to put me in a relationship where i can give that kind of grace to my spouse and i can experience that kind of grace from her that means whenever my wife disappoints me or hurts me i can lash out i can pay her back or i can experience god's greater purposes in my life even in her unfairness her rudeness was sovereignly appointed by god part of the all things of ephesians 1 11 it was sovereignly appointed by god to teach me what i am like to god to teach me how much he's forgiven me of and to give me a chance to learn to love him and to give me a chance to love like him that doesn't excuse them for what they're doing i mean it's not like you know they they're going to answer to god for their actions they can't be like yep i'm only being rude because god wants me to be a tool of your sanctification no they're going to answer to god for that but i'm saying i can understand that even in that god has a purpose for me i'm also not saying that when you're being wronged you just stand there and you take it i mean you correct them but when you correct them it's not to pay them back it's because you love them and you know what their behavior is doing to them and what it's doing your relationship and so in love without trying to pay them back you correct them one of the best pictures ever given to us of this was jesus in the sermon on the mountain he talked about turning the other cheek i've explained this to you before but just in case you missed it here here it is when jesus talked about turning the other cheek a lot of times we miss what he was saying because we think it means you just stand there you keep taking it you know you know here i got another one you know i mean it's no if he had meant that he would have said turn the same cheek to them the person who is attacking you in jesus's little you turn the other cheek thing is not trying to actually kill you because if so you don't go for somebody's cheek like martial arts people never tell you hey you want to bring some real damage the cheek no the per the cheek in the jewish understanding was the symbol of relationship the face so when somebody smacked your cheek they'd insulted the relationship that's what they've done he says you turn the relationship back to them and you offer to restore the relationship you may have to confront they're wrong but you do so without going after their cheek you do so by re-establishing re-offering this relationship what that means is that when i'm wronged in marriage or wherever yes sometimes i confront i say this is destructive it's hurting you but i don't do it in a way getting their cheek back i'm not giving them the silent treatment i'm not yelling at them i'm saying yes this is destructive for you but i'm gonna re-offer you grace this is exactly what jesus did when he died on the cross he confronted the sin he called for repentance but he offered us not judgment he offered us grace he says you love like that you look i can hear your thought you should be like wow do you live this jd sometimes especially during those weeks that i'm preaching on marriage i've done some really great things for my wife this week and she was like you're preaching on marriage again aren't you yep yep so you see in these three ways marriage is given to us to be god's laboratory for teaching us about himself where do i end this okay all your relationships are given to you to teach you about god christian growth takes place when the beauty and glory of this one god that you have come to know so captures your heart that it transforms all your relationships everything you do so that even the most mundane becomes a way to serve him and to be like him and to know him and it gives you purpose in everything christians are used to what we call the sacred and secular split sacred is what happens in here secular is what happens out there this is where god lives that's where you know we live what paul shows you is there is no sacred and secular split everything is spiritual how you act and respond to an unjust boss at work how you respond to your parents how you respond to your children how you respond to your spouse how you respond everywhere ultimately is a response first and foremost to god so even jesus christ when he stands before pilot the most unjust judge of all doesn't respond to him he responds to god because god is sovereign and in every situation i'm not responding to my spouse i'm not responding to my boss i'm not responding to my parents i am responding to god that's what you got to hear from this always respond to god when my boss treats me unfairly i'm like hey i'm not working for you i'm working for god so i'm gonna do a good job whether you deserve it or not when my parents when i was a kid i obey my parents because i'm submitting to god it's all a response to god and when you get that when you get that it gives you purpose to every part of your life the pressing question is do you know this god that is created in you such a passion for change a god that is better than any other earthly reality you've ever found a god that gives purpose to every part of your life a god that has always been there in your life and is the real answer to all the questions that you've been asking if not you can know him today by receiving jesus christ his son as lord and savior christianity is simply believing that god has paid for all your sins in jesus and receiving that and surrendering to him as god and the lord of your life if you've never done that you can do it today if you've never received the free gift of salvation let me encourage you to give us a call or visit us online at jdgrier.com where you can learn more about a relationship with jesus and find lots of free resources to help you get started in your faith so jd we have a pretty cool and unique resource for the month of july i told folks about it a little earlier in the program but can you tell us just a little bit more yeah so in this series mystery and clarity we are just looking at the book of ephesians one of the most powerful books in the new testament um you know ephesians paul just goes to extra links to say hey if you're an employee and you're dealing with a boss and the boss is bad this is how you should work that out if you're dealing with kids that are rebellious this is how this looks like one of the things that we wanted to do to help you go more more deeper uh let's just say deeper into the book of ephesians is one of these little gospel flip books think of it like a book of flashcards it'll help you identify key themes highlight passages good verse memorization suggestions a reading plan to take you through not just ephesians by the way but ephesians philippians galatians and colossians so anyway we would love to give this resource to you as a reference for any time you are reading through the new testament just go as always to jdgrier.com it's our gift to you for becoming a supporter of our ministry and remember every donation we receive helps us proclaim the gospel message each and every day all across the country and around the world call us right now at 866-335-5220 that's 866-335-5220 or as always you can visit us online at jdgrier.com i'm molly vidovich inviting you to join us friday as pastor jd shows us that the unseen spirit world is very real around us and it affects our lives a lot more than we probably think join us friday right here on summit life with jd greer today's program was produced and sponsored by jd greer ministries
