Just Sex?, Part 2

Today on Summit Life with J.D. Greer.

If sex is never a part of your earthly life that's okay because you realize that every time you pray you pray to the most joy-filled happy fulfilled man ever to walk the face of the earth and he never had sex and that means that your life can have satisfaction and meaning and fulfillment because that's only temporary and it's only partial but what is eternal and what is blessed is the forever family. Welcome to Summit Life with Pastor J.D. Greer. I'm your host, Molly Vitovich. Remember having the talk with mom and dad about birds and the bees?

Some of you are shuddering as I remind you of that awkwardness, aren't you? Well, today on Summit Life, Pastor J.D. will be sharing biblical truth as it relates to our sexuality. Like yesterday, I'd like to begin by advising that today's program perhaps isn't suitable for young children so if you need to change the channel we understand but remember you can listen to the full message free of charge anytime at jdgreer.com. Let's rejoin Pastor J.D. now as he continues our forever family teaching series and shows us how to dispel the myths about sex with biblical truth all so that we can see it as a beautiful picture of what God has planned for us as a part of his eternal family.

Open your Bibles to 1 Corinthians chapter 6 and let's jump back in. Porn rewires your brain to think of sex as just the selfish satisfaction of an urge and when you train your mind that way later when you get married your ability to gauge in sex like God designed it as a fusion of souls where two people offer themselves to each other in self-giving love that capacity is significantly diminished and by the way if you are married and you're nurturing on the side it is killing your capacity to have fulfilling sex between you and your partner in your marriage. Andy Stanley says that every time you look at pornography you rewire your soul to believe three things number one you're telling your soul a real body is not good enough number two only one body is not good enough and number three your wife's body is not good enough because no woman no matter how beautiful she is can live up to what you see in porn. Naomi Wolf who is a pretty radical feminist he was advisor to both president Clinton and presidential candidate Gore she said she said for most men real naked women are just bad porn anymore no man she says has ever gorged himself on porn and then put it behind him after marriage because his wife met all his porn fantasies instead the opposite happens it retrains your appetite so that you can't be happy with sex in marriage. Pornography before marriage destroys sex in marriage. I'm trying to tell you porn is not a pastime it is a pathway it is a pathway to change fundamentally who you are and it's not over here in one little corner of your life it rewires you it leads to higher rates of depression lower rates of sexual satisfaction it has destroyed no telling how many marriages do not think that you can keep it over in one little corner and just put it away when you get married that's not how your brain that's not how Paul would say your soul works I got a fire in my house but it's no big deal because it's only in the closet and it's only in the guest room hey it's coming for the whole building.

Men if you have pornography I'm telling you for the sake of your relationship with all future women you need to get rid of it today and if you are not willing to address this in your life then I challenge you I challenge you to at least have the decency to tell your girlfriend or your fiance that this is not something you're able to deal with or want to deal with so that she knows what you're bringing into their relationship because she has a right to know that way she can go ahead and get out now if she wants to rather than have you destroy her heart later this is nothing to play around with one psychiatrist said porn is more enslaving to people than heroin and what's scary is that the porn industry markets itself to 12 to 13 year olds and they know that it only takes three days to become an addict so can I just say by the way right here parents if you let your kids have phones in their rooms by themselves at night in a home without a filter on the internet I'm not trying to judge you I'm not trying to tell you you don't know how to parent your kid and I know so much better but I just have to think you're being incredibly naive incredibly naive as to what is actually happening you might as well give them a loaded gun that they can put under their pillow at night wake up to what's happening and wake up to what's going on out there and to the power of these things and the way that they are being marketed to your 12 and 13 year olds now again I directed a lot of this issue toward men but in our society it's become just as much one for women in every way let me just go ahead and say it okay romance novels function like pornography for women these romance novels are soft porn for women made mainstream they are not romantic they are not harmless fantasy they're destroying you the 50 shades of gray erotica series which is the best-selling fiction book of the last decade sold more than a hundred million copies worldwide there's nothing but pornography that paul would say is sinning against soul and destroying you and destroying your marriage and your future marriage every other sin a person commits is outside the body but the sexually immoral person says he gets his own body now I realize that at this point some of you you're probably feeling pretty overwhelmed because you're sitting here and you're like this has been my life you see I'm a little bit of a tough spot here I'll be honest because there's a part of me that wants to tell you the dangers of sin will tell you the reason God has these restrictions is because it's not because he wants to keep you from something because he has something for you but the same time the main message of this church is not that this is the way you're supposed to live and this is the life you're supposed to live and if not well you totally messed yourself up the main message of this church is that we have a savior who came to live the life we were supposed to live and didn't and then he died to death that we were condemned to die in our place see Jesus was called the man of sorrow some of you your sexual mistakes have brought all kinds of sorrow into your life man of sorrows means that Jesus took those sorrows into himself so that he could make you new in him so he could say though your sins are like scarlet I can make him as white as snow and after he died on the cross he rose from the dead and what that resurrection was showing you is that there is no deadness that sin has put into your life that he cannot resurrect there is nothing that sin is broken that he cannot repair there's nothing that sin is stolen that he cannot restore and so he says come to me because I can make all things new one of my favorite verses related to this is what the prophet Joel says in the book of Joel he says I can restore God says I can restore what the locusts have eaten the locusts were a sign of God's judgment they were a sign of God's judgment that came in because of Israel sin and God said that when Israel repented not only did he tell the locusts to stop he actually said I can restore all that stuff that they ate what kind of God of grace are we talking about what kind of God of grace says not only will I stop the curse actually go back to all the places your sin brought the curse and I'll repair it that means that those of you that sexual sin has destroyed your soul it has destroyed your marriage well see there is a fountain filled with blood drawn from Emmanuel's veins and sinners plunged beneath that flood lose all their guilty stain man of sorrows what a name for the son of God who came why ruined sinners to reclaim hallelujah what a savior and I feel like sometimes up here trying to show you that the real dangers of sin I don't want you to lose the fact that what this message is about is about a savior I don't stand up here and preach the law as important as the law is I want to tell you about redemption I want to tell you about hope I want to tell you about a savior who took sin into his own body and overcame it so that he could restore you my friend Matt Chandler he and I are about the same age he's a pastor out in Dallas he says that when when he and I were both yeah I didn't know him when we were young but back then the the the thing was the true love weights rally remember that true love weight every youth group every year went to true love weights it was it was a good thing but it was like you know it's kind of like getting teenagers to commit take a vow to remain you know pure until they get married and the motives were you know I'd say vastly good but a lot of times in the effort to kind of teach this the actual Christian message itself got either deluded or lost Matt tells a story one time of being in a audience probably about the size of the one in front of me right now you know a thousand or so people and and uh Matt um said that he says I was sitting there and the guy when he got up to give the talk he took out a rose beautiful rose said any girl in here would love this rose right yeah he said all right he hands it to person on the one side of the auditorium and says I want while I talk up here I want everybody to smell this rose I want you to touch the petals and feel how soft it is and make sure everybody in here in the whole audience gets a touch so about 30 minutes a guy gives this talk when those 30 minutes are done he says okay where's that rose and he gets it from the last person and now it's all wilted and petals have fallen off and it's drooping and this looks terrible and he holds this up and he says who wants this rose nobody wants this rose and he throws it kind of in a sort of a dramatic illustration he said that's what some of you are doing to yourselves by giving yourself sexually away before you got married and Matt said I just sat there and I felt like he said I was a brand new Christian and I want to stand up and I wanted to say Jesus wants the rose Jesus came for the rose he came to die for the rose so that he could restore the rose so yes sin causes damage sin leaves consequences but you have a savior that died for those things and overcame those to the grave so that he could restore you he breaks the power of canceled sin and he sets the prisoner free so please understand that when I am up here I'm not just yes I'm trying to tell you about these dangers of sin but I also want you to understand that you have a savior that came from ruined sinners give you one more illustration on this in Matthew the gospel of Matthew's genealogy of Jesus if you go through there you'll notice that there's a couple of names he puts in there and if you're reading them you're like these don't really belong it doesn't seem because in Jesus's bloodline God arranged it so that there was a former prostitute listen to this and that Jesus himself came through the offspring of David and Bathsheba's adultery what is that trying to tell you other than the fact that God can bring Christ out of even the worst kinds of sexual sin and friend if God can bring Jesus into the world through a former prostitute and an adulterous relationship he can bring Christ into your life and he can bring beauty out of your ashes that's what the whole thing is about God's power to restore so again in standing up here I've got a dual purpose I want to show you what's at stake in sexual sin but I also want to proclaim that Jesus heals and restores sinners but I need you to put away the myth that sex is just casual the limitations that God puts on sex he does so for your good many young singles don't want to wait to have sex because they're afraid they're going to miss out on something oh my friends are talking about it oh man I just want to be able to have a story to share back with them and I feel like I've just been deprived all these rules are keeping me from things friend God tells us the way to have sex precisely so we won't miss out on something yeah you can get forgiveness for sexual sin but forgiveness is painful and the consequences can leave deep scars plus I'll just tell you if you're sitting here right now thinking well I don't know I'll just have a little fun right now and I'm serious teenager college student then I'll get forgiveness later if that's your attitude I get a question whether you actually belong to Jesus how could you love Jesus and still openly pursue the things that you know put him on the cross how could you know that Jesus is a part of your life and subject him to that kind of willful sin in your life 1st Corinthians 6 here's what Paul says he says do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit within you God put that spirit in you you're not your own now you're on your way to destruction and Jesus bought you with a price so obviously somebody who understands that would want to glorify God with their body right how could you know that God after perching you with his blood puts his spirit in you and now that his spirit is in you it means that everything that you do now he's got to be present for and how could you say that you love him and then resubject him to the things that put him on the cross if you know and love Jesus you won't do that why would a person overwhelmed by God's goodness want to spit on it you were listening to summit life with J.D. Greer we hope you're enjoying today's teaching from our forever family series and that you'll stick around for the whole thing it's meant to be an encouragement in your daily walk with God before we head to the finish line today I wanted to remind you about a resource that can also help you stay connected to God's word throughout the week our daily email devotionals written by Pastor J.D. offer insightful reflections on the Bible and practical applications for your life each day's devotional corresponds to our current teaching series here on the program as well so you can stay plugged into the themes and ideas that we explore here even if you miss a day of listening and best of all it is completely free so to sign up simply visit J.D. Greer dot com slash resources and enter your email address to begin receiving them right away thank you for your financial support that makes this resource and the rest of summit life possible now let's get back to our teaching once again here's pastor J.D. first green the sixth nine do you not know the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God that's why Jesus had to die don't be deceived you sitting here like well we're living together it's not that big of a deal it's a big deal well it's just a little harmless fun nope it's a big deal they will not inherit the kingdom of God don't be deceived the sexually immoral those who openly practice it will not because you can't say I love and serve Jesus and then just pursue what put him on the cross and act like it's not anything nor idolaters nor adulterers these will not inherit the kingdom of God unless they repent marriage is honorable to all the pet is undefiled it's beautiful it's blessed but the sexually immoral and adulterous God will judge friend God is very serious about sexual sin do not play games but he does so because of his love he does so because he recognizes it has such great power for good and therefore it has great powerful harm as well that's why in first corinthian six he tells you to flee sexual immorality you understand that a lie usually when the bible talks about temptation it talks about temptation it talks about enduring or withstanding or a way of escape God will make but he says when it comes to sexual immorality run from it it's that destructive first peter two apostle peter agrees abstain from these fleshly lusts because they actually go to war against your soul they go to war against your soul and they destroy your capacity for loving relationships and they destroy your capacity to know and love God our culture says it's no big deal the apostle paul under the inspiration of the holy spirit says it's a huge deal listen friend maybe you're sitting here and you're like i still don't quite i said i just don't get it i just don't still don't see how it's that big of a deal here's my question if that's you do you trust God enough to do it his way do you actually believe God you see this is an area where God tests you to see if you're actually willing to wait on him this is one of those areas especially when you're single God's like i just want to see are you going to do this my way you can do it your way i sometimes talk to college students and the college students be like yeah i just i'll get saved later i'll become a christian later right now i'm enjoying my sexual freedom too much and i'm like do you realize what you're giving up you're talking about a little sexual pleasure that's not going to be that fulfilling anyway as we see from these different studies and that's going to mess you up and you're what you're trading for that is a relationship with God if you wait not only will you get God i'm telling you God gives his best to those who wait and trust him and do it his way you'll find that it's true in every area especially this one if you wait you'll be glad i feel like i have to quote here from our friend Dr Danny Aiken who's the president of Southeastern Seminary over here in Wake Forest not far from where i am right now i wrote a book years ago called God on Sex i'm going to quote him because i could never get away with saying what he said here so i'm just going to quote it it's not surprising that a University of Chicago study reports that those doing it God's way report the most satisfaction with their sex lives when University of Chicago researchers set out to discover which religious denominations have the best sex they learned that the faithful don't do all their shouting in church sorry i told you i couldn't say it conservative protestant women reported by far the highest satisfaction in sex mainline protestants and catholics lag five points behind those with no religious affiliation were more than 33 points behind and unitarians may not wish to read any further sexually active singles have the most sexual problems and get the least pleasure out of sex men with the most quote liberal attitudes about sex are 75 more likely to fail to satisfy their partners the most sexually satisfied demographic group of them is that of protestant married couples between the ages of 50 and 59 cosmopolitan touts cosmo's 20 favorite sex tips ever we have the wall shaking earth quaking moves that will make your bed end up clear across the room however the statistics suggest that if you're really interested in the best sex possible find you a born-again babe and keep her around until she's 50 because that's when the best will come told you i couldn't say it i just got danny to say it the point is do it God's way God doesn't tell you to avoid sexual immorality because he wants to keep you from something he tells you to avoid it because he wants to bless you with something all the ways of God are good as i close i want to hit one more myth really quickly we've touched on it each week but this myth is at the heart of jesus's teaching in matthew 19 and jesus's answer to this myth is an important component of his teaching on marriage and sex so really quickly myth number three sex is the best part of life our culture says sex it is is an essential part of life you can't be happy without it you see that's why i showed you jesus includes the part about the eunuchs and his teaching on marriage in matthew 19 eunuchs again represent single people and jesus said these eunuchs single are still full participants in the blessing of God full participants in the family of God and all the blessings of the kingdom are theirs even though they're not married and what jesus is saying is marriage and sex are not really what life's ultimate blessings are and they're not the essential parts of life because soon enough in eternity none of us will be married that which is partial and temporary marriage and sex will have given way to that which is permanent and eternal Christ and the church so that means if i've got a chapter in my life without sex whether that's because i'm single or maybe it's because i'm not in a good marriage and sex is just really no longer a part of my our marriage and and my spouse just won't cooperate for whatever reason sex is not a part of my my life yes that is difficult now i don't want to downplay that if that's you and that's not a part of your life i understand that that could be something you have to endure but what you need to hear is that you can still find real joy in life and real meaning and real satisfaction if sex is never a part of your earthly life that's okay because you realize that every time you pray you pray to the most joy-filled happy fulfilled man ever to walk the face of the earth and he never had sex and that means that your life can have satisfaction and meaning and fulfillment because that's only temporary and it's only partial but what is eternal and what is blessed is the forever family so eunuchs who represent single people they can find full satisfaction in the family of god you see ironically our culture both under value sex but not recognizing its power and it over values sex by thinking that it is essential for a happy life but neither of those things are true neither of those things are true and that's what the bible's teaching on this liberates you to my friend christopher yuan tells a story of growing up same-sex attracted he said when i was a teenager i asked god i begged god to give me different desires to give me heterosexual desires because i knew his word taught me that homosexuality was wrong he said but god did not answer that prayer at least the way that i wanted him to because i never developed heterosexual desires and so for a while i pursued an openly gay lifestyle thinking that that's where i would find satisfaction he says but through a series of bad decisions not only did i not find satisfaction i hit rock bottom and even ended up in prison he says it was there in that prison cell that i met god and god in that prison cell didn't give me a change of sexual orientation but what he met me with was the offer of a forever family with his son this is how he puts it my identity now is not gay it's not ex-gay or even head of or even heterosexual for that matter my sole identity is as a child of the living god made in the image of jesus christ in that prison cell i realized that a decision had to be made i could either abandon god and pursue sexual freedom as i had been or i could surrender sexual freedom and live as a follower of jesus christ my decision was obvious i chose to be a child of god i used to think he said that to please this christian god i had to make myself straight i had to make myself feel heterosexual feelings but then i realized even those with heterosexual urges still struggle with sin and they still need to be redeemed so that couldn't be the ultimate goal no our goal as christians no matter what feelings we have must be holiness and holiness is only found in the righteousness of christ our identity must be solely in his righteousness not in how sexually pure we feel as i began to embrace this life of surrender and obedience god even called me in the full-time ministry and he did that while while i was in a prison of all places in other words here's a guy who to this day will tell you that sexually his urges his attractions are same-sex attractions he says because he realizes the bible says that that is not in the will of god he says if i don't ever get heterosexual desires then i've had to surrender that and say that sexual this is not going to be a part of my life he said but that doesn't mean that i have a second-class life he says because i'm a child of god and that's actually what's really important and god's got a plan for me and i've got the ultimate thing which is god's forever family and that's okay sex is not ultimate it's just an echo it's a pointer of what god has for you in his forever family so if it's something that's not a part of your life you can still have a happy joy-filled meaningful life because the forever a family your identity is a child of god and the family of god that's where real life and satisfaction comes from it's never too late for a new start filled with forgiveness and restoration god invites us to find hope in his forever family you're listening to summit life with pastor jd greer as a reminder if you've missed any of the previous messages in this series you can listen again online free of charge or you can download the unedited message transcripts at jdgrier.com if you haven't heard we are offering a new featured resource to our summit life family this month it's a 60-day devotional written by pastor kyle idelman of southeast christian church in louisville kentucky called one day at a time a 60-day challenge to see serve and celebrate the celebrate the people around you one day at a time is written to help you view all of the relationships god has given you in light of jesus's command to both love god and love others we'd love to send you a copy when you support this ministry with a gift of 35 or more just give us a call at 866-335-5220 that's 866-335-5220 or you can donate online right now at jdgrier.com i'm molly vinovich be sure to tune in wednesday when pastor jd teaches an important concept about conflict we'll see you wednesday on summit life with jd greer today's program was produced and sponsored by jd greer ministries