Self Destruction

Today on Summit Life JD Greer talks about a relevant issue. I think this gives you a great picture of the differences between men and women and how both of them get into trouble with sex in different ways. David gets caught up in sin because he doesn't keep himself away from temptation. Bathsheba gets caught up in sin because she wants to be noticed. So the application for guys stay away from temptation. It is easier to avoid temptation than it is to resist sin. Welcome to Summit Life with pastor, author and theologian JD Greer.

As always, I'm your host Molly Vidovich. You're joining us during a teaching series called Search for a King where we're learning from the life of one of the most famous Old Testament heroes. David is known as a man after God's own heart, the one who defeated Goliath and saved Israel because of his great faith. But as we'll see today, even the powerful King David wasn't perfect. In fact, he messed up big time. And as we learn about his greatest failure, we'll find wisdom for our own lives about avoiding the trap of sexual sin.

If you'd like to follow along with the transcript of each message, you can always find them free of charge at jdgreer.com. Now, let's get started with today's message titled Self-Destruction. Second Samuel 11 specifically is where we're going to be so you can begin to make your way there. We're going to come to something today in the life of David that is relevant, I believe, for all of you, and that is sexual sin. You're going to see David in this chapter make a devastatingly bad decision that just about ruins his family and just about dismantles his kingdom.

Sexual sin, as you probably know, has brought down some of the strongest and the very best of people. I mean, would you just think about who David was for a minute? David was the shepherd boy that God chose out of the pasture and made him king.

He was the one that God said as a man after my own heart. David was the one whose courage and character was forged in those pastures when he fought a lion and a bear and killed them with his bare hands by the power of God. David was the one of such courage that he charged onto the battlefield to face Goliath all by himself when everybody else was terrified to do that. David was the one whose confidence in God was so strong and trust in God was so strong that David refused to take vengeance on Saul even when all of us would have said he had every right to. David resisted every opportunity that was given to him to make himself larger in the eyes of the people than God.

David resisted every opportunity to draw attention to himself. He was generous. He wrote the most beautiful Christian worship song, songs that we still sing in the church today.

He was in every way one of the greatest men of all of history. Yet here he is about to do something so bad, so deceptive, and so twisted that before it's all over he will have conceived a child with a woman who is not his wife, killed her husband, and then covered it all up. Sexual sin is so powerful and it is so destructive and yet it is so easy to access. Sometimes it feels like an overpowering urge that you just can't say no to and there's usually more involved in it by the way than just physical urges. They're usually psychological and emotional and deep soul elements involved. And by the way when I say that I'm not just talking about women either. There are psychological and emotional elements in sexual temptation for guys too. For a lot of guys sex is it's like a way of power. It's a way of establishing their self-worth. They say that there are three major stages that a guy goes through in his life and how he gauges his manhood compared to other guys. How he kind of you know sets himself on the on the scale. The first one's in high school and you do it by your athletic ability and so you measure your you measure yourself as a man by how athletic you are.

In college it becomes your sexual prowess and so you measure your manhood by by how well you do sexually compared to other guys and then when you get out of college it turns into earning potential how much money you make and that's how you measure your manhood. Now one quick rejoinder. I realize that there are many people who think that the idea of talking about sex in church is inappropriate and honestly I respect your opinion. I really do and I especially respect your responsibility to know when your kids can handle certain ones of these truths and so I respect your opinion but to be totally truthful with you I think that is crazy.

I realize that makes it sound like I don't really respect your opinion but do with that what you will. The average age y'all when a kid looks at pornography now is 11. Sex the average age when they look at pornography is 11.

Sex dominates the airwaves and the television screens. Second Samuel chapter 11 we're going to walk through the story we're going to begin in verse 1. Second Samuel 11 verse 1. In the spring of the year the time when kings go out to battle David sent Joab and his servants with him and all Israel out to battle but David remained at Jerusalem. Now stop there for a second because there are two things that happened in those two verses that on the surface look like they have nothing to do with sex at all but they are integral to the plot of this storyline and I would encourage you to write them down because they're how the author is setting up this whole account.

Write these down. Number one David was blessed and number two David was disengaged. Number one David was blessed. Number two David was disengaged. Let me break those apart one at a time and talk about them. Number one David was blessed.

Things are going really well for David. Did you know there are two major times when sexual sin is really appealing to you? The first is in a time of great stress and in a time of great stress sex is like a savior. It's an escape.

It's a place that you feel like you can retreat to as a guaranteed place of pleasure that overcomes the stress and the pressure you feel in other areas of your life. But the second time that you're really tempted is in a time of great blessing because when things are going well for you, you tend to forget how dependent you are on God and when you forget how dependent you are on God you tend to think even subconsciously that you can go out on your own and you're not as worried about breaking the rules. You see what happens is when you're blessed you begin to get a false sense of confidence that you really are on top of everything. You're in charge of everything.

You and I when we are blessed that's when we're right in the place where Satan can most take us out. Number two David was disengaged. David was disengaged. You see in verse one he sent Joab out to fight the battle. He didn't go he didn't go himself. That is the first time that it ever happened in the life of David. David the warrior has become David the vacationer and his lack of engagement makes him susceptible to cheap thrills.

Y'all write this down. The way to successfully resist the enticements of this world is to be busy with a higher purpose. The way to successfully resist the enticements of this world is to be busy with a higher purpose. For a lot of people their lives are so empty, so pointless that the excitement of sex promises a fulfillment that they desperately crave. That's why you're so driven by it. It's not just a physical lust thing it's a miserable soul thing. That means the only way that you can break the power of sex over you is to be involved in something higher. To be more excited about God and his plan for you than you are enticed by the lust of the flesh. Men you won't be controlled by sex when you are actively engaged as the spiritual leader in your family.

That is why some of you are so susceptible to this. You're just bored. You're not living the life of courage and ministry that God has designed you to live.

You're not the spiritual leader in your family. You're sitting on the sidelines disengaged from the battle. It's a lot more difficult to take your pants off when you're in a battle than it is when you're lounging around on the couch. Can we all agree on that?

Ever try to take off your pants in the middle of a rugby match? Let that be a metaphor unto you. Verse two, it happened, so it happened that late one afternoon when David arose from the couch and was walking on the roof of the king's house that he saw from the roof a woman who was bathing and the woman was very beautiful. The Hebrew word therefore beautiful is the word tobe which literally means fine. That is the exact translation of it.

Isn't that awesome? The Bible doesn't usually rate people by the way. So the fact that it notes that Bathsheba was fine and not just fine but very fine means that she was smack your mama hot, okay? That's how we would say that.

Write this down. Number three, David was in a place where he could be tempted. David was in a place where he could be tempted. He's walking on the roof. He's doing the Old Testament version of browsing the internet alone late at night. He points, he clicks, he clicks again, then he dwells and his feelings start to overpower him and so he invites her up for drinks.

One thing leads to another and then he sleeps with her. Write this down too. It's easier to avoid temptation than it is to resist sin. It is easier to avoid temptation than it is to resist sin.

Write that down because we're going to come back to it about 15 times before we're done today. We're going to develop that but first before I get into that let me show you Bathsheba's role in all this because Bathsheba I believe is not entirely innocent in this matter by any means. All right, first she offers no protest to David when he sends for her and elsewhere in the book of Samuel whenever a woman makes a protest against an inappropriate sexual advance the author always records it so the fact that he doesn't record it here means that Bathsheba's coming to him was fully consensual. She is a little starstruck with David. In fact, I want to go out on a limb here and say that I think she intended for David to see her naked.

David's balcony is with an eye shot of where she's taking a bath. Ladies, if the President of the United States lived right behind you don't you think you would know? Yes, you would. There's no way she doesn't realize this. Now was she trying to seduce him?

Probably not. Maybe she just enjoyed the attention. At the very least she was not being careful about what David could see. I think this gives you a great picture of the differences between men and women and how both of them get into trouble with sex in different ways. David gets caught up in sin because he doesn't keep himself away from temptation. Bathsheba gets caught up in sin because she wants to be noticed. So the application for guys, stay away from temptation. It is easier to avoid temptation than it is to resist sin. It's like I've told you before in that quote by Martin Luther, if your head is made of butter, stay away from the fire.

Just makes sense. If your head's made out of butter, go hang out around the fire. It's not going to turn out well. If you can't not look at pornography when you're on a business trip, call the hotel before you get there and have them turn the TV off. They will do that. If you can't control yourself after your wife goes to bed and you're on the internet, then have one of those things that puts a filter on it that shows your your wife what sites you've been looking at.

Don't play Russian roulette with your family. This is Summit Life with J.D. Greer. Find resources and all of our teaching right now by visiting jdgreer.com. We'll get right back to our teaching in just a moment, but I wanted to remind you about a special resource available for free on our website. You know, one way that you can be sure to continually see God's word saturating your life is to participate in our daily email devotional from Pastor J.D.

Couldn't we all use encouragement first thing in the morning to remind us of God's love? The best part is that it follows along with our teaching here on the program so you can dive deeper into all we're learning and share it with others. Sign up for this free resource at jdgreer.com slash resources.

That's jdgreer.com slash resources. Now let's return for the conclusion of today's message on Summit Life. Once again here's Pastor J.D. All right, so for guys the implication what you walk away with here is avoid temptation because it's easier to avoid temptation than to resist sin. For girls, and now comes the most unpopular part of the message, I will acknowledge that up front, the application is quit wanting your body to be noticed or at least be careful about how easy you are making it for your body to be noticed.

All right, here's where the hate mail starts. I wish that I could convince some of you girls to just think a little bit when you're putting your clothes on. I know it's not like you're you're directly trying to seduce a guy because you get all offended when he speaks sexually to you but it's clear you want your body to be noticed. I mean why else would you have a plunging neckline or write notes for me to read on your rear end that say cheer or spandex fitting skinny jeans which I've already established are just ankle length panties, right? Here's my new theory, tights are not pants.

Those are two different classifications of clothing, right? I know, I know it's partially our fault when we lust but maybe you could think about dressing in a way that directs our attention toward God and not towards your body. Now you're like well what do you want me to do, wear denim jumpers and mom jeans with bible verses on them?

No, okay, I think my wife dresses stylishly and modestly. I just want you to take some precaution in how you dress knowing what we're like and knowing that when a guy is consumed with lust for you he cannot simultaneously be filled with the Holy Spirit of God, all right? Girls listen, I have love for your brothers who are so fragile in this area. You can help them in their relationship with God just by how you dress. It's just compassion for us.

Yes girls, I know it's our fault if we strike the match to light the fire of our lust but for God's sake you don't have to pile twigs at our feet and douse them in gasoline, okay? You can help us. We still friends? We all still friends here? We good?

We good? It is easier to avoid temptation than it is to resist sin, that's my point. One more thing by the way on this before I move on, this is about more than just porn and dress. You got to guard yourself emotionally. There is a right and a wrong way for married men and women to interact with each other who are not their spouse. There are emotional needs that ought to be fulfilled by your spouse that should not be filled by any other person. Married women, if you are pouring out your soul to some old friend on Facebook you are setting both him and you up for disaster.

It is easier to avoid temptation than to resist sin. Verse three, and David sent and inquired about the woman and once said, is this not Bathsheba, the daughter of Eliam, the wife of Uriah the Hittite? Why are there phrases in there? Why are there random kind of like, oh here's a genealogy? Because the author is trying to point out to you this is somebody's daughter, somebody's wife, somebody's mother.

Why is he doing that? Because you see sexual sin almost always objectifies someone. They become an object of your pleasure and you forget that you're dealing with somebody's life, usually multiple people's lives. This is somebody's mother, somebody's daughter, somebody's wife or future wife. You're not just enjoying somebody's body, you are tampering with their soul.

You are sabotaging the life of multiple layers of people. Same was true for Bathsheba. She wasn't just having a night of pleasure with the king, she was destroying a man, his family, and doing great damage to God's kingdom. Listen y'all, God's rules for sex are not arbitrary. People sometimes act like God invented sex and then was like, whoa, man they really enjoy that.

I need to fence that in a little bit. That's not how it went down. God created sex, which is the unity of bodies, to be accompanied by a unity in every other dimension of life. So that when two people's bodies come together in sex, that is accompanied by a union of souls, a union of emotions, a union of futures and a lifelong commitment, a union of bank accounts. Oneness of the body should be accompanied by oneness in every other area. And when sex happens like that, it is a great blessing to a relationship and something that furthers the relationship.

But when you have oneness of body apart from oneness in the other areas, rather than being a blessing to the relationship, it becomes a curse. David is not just having a night of pleasure. He's about to ruin her life and his as well. Verse four, so David sent messengers and took her and she came to him and he lay with her. Now she'd been purifying herself from her uncleanness.

That's kind of an odd phrase isn't it? What's she trying to show you? She's trying to show you something that's true of human nature but damn true now. She's taking time to make sure she's religiously pure. Yeah, because adultery is not impure at all to God. But just understand that if you think somehow God is more impressed with ritual religious observance like coming to church or tithing when you're living in outright rebellion to him, you understand that God will not be mocked. That's what she was doing and that's what I wonder sometimes how many people are sitting here thinking this is what God wants when they live in rebellion to him all week.

God says these people honor me with their lips but their hearts are far from me and their show of religion seconds me. Let me keep reading here. Then she returned to her house and the woman conceived and she sent and told David I'm pregnant. And now starts a pretty complicated, somewhat ingenious cover-up and David sends word to Joab and says, the general says, hey have Uriah come home.

That's her husband obviously. I'd like for him to brief me on the war. And so you know Uriah gets back, Uriah starts explaining what's happening in the war. David's like yeah, whatever, whatever.

That's great. Why don't you go home Uriah and get a good night's sleep? You married Uriah?

Oh you are, really? Okay well I'm sure your wife misses you so why don't you go on down to your house? David is of course thinking that Uriah hasn't seen his wife in a while and well we've already established that she's pretty hot so David gives him a Hebrew version of an aphrodisiac which was a raisin cake which I know seems weird to us but it worked back then and sends him to his house thinking that he and Bathsheba will get it on and then everyone will assume the baby is Uriah's. But here's where the real drama starts. Uriah refuses to go home. Verse 11, look at it, Uriah's like hey all my brother soldiers are out sleeping in the cold in danger and the ark of God's out there too.

I'm not going to go home and have a great night with my wife while my brothers and God's ark are out there in the cold and in danger. Imagine how convicting that was for David by the way. Well so then David hatches plan B. He invites Uriah up for dinner the next night to just get him hammered because he's thinking drunk guys almost always lose their nobility. So Uriah who is noble yes but also loves a good corona gets hammered. But as he's going home back to his house he passes out in his front yard and he spends the night there and everybody sees that.

So David is like well plan C. By this time he's desperate. So he writes a note to Joab the general that says put Uriah in the very front of the battle and when you charge the line everybody pull back and start to tie their shoe and leave them out there all by himself and then he'll get killed. And then he writes that on a note seals it up puts it in Uriah's hand and has Uriah carry it back to the battle. Uriah carries his own death warrant back to Joab with no idea what it says. Joab opens it follows the instructions and Uriah is killed. Well after Uriah dies David takes Bathsheba for his wife and takes her into his house.

She bears a son and everybody assumes that she got pregnant on her honeymoon. They start making jokes about it you didn't wait long blah blah blah you know and David rushes this whole thing under the rug. And that's almost how chapter 11 ends as if he got away with it.

He brushes it under the rug and it's done. But the chapter the last verse in the chapter are these chilling words verse 27. But the thing that David had done displeased the Lord. That's a bad way to end the chapter.

Chapter 11 marks a turning point in David's life. His family starts to fall apart. His newborn son dies. Later his firstborn son will die after having slept with one of his daughters.

Another one of his sons leads a rebellion against him and he dies. Five things I want you to have gleaned from this story. Five things we've already been over some of them so I'm just going to hit some of them briefly but I would encourage you to write these down. Number one sin can destroy your life. I want you to understand because I realize that there are some of you that are here this weekend I don't know many of your stories but I know that in a room this size there are some of you here this weekend that are on the brink of disaster and maybe just maybe God sent you here because I am supposed to give you a message that sin will destroy your life.

You have an enemy that wants to take everything good that God wants to give you. I read a book several years ago called The Purity Principle by a guy named Randy Alcorn in which he talks about reflecting before he got into ministry on the 25 or so things that would happen had he if he committed adultery. It inspired me to make my own list. I don't have 25 of them. I've only got 10 but let me share those with you because I think about this from time to time because I know these 10 things I am positive would happen if I committed adultery.

Here they are. Number one I would bring untold hurt and shame onto my wife Veronica. Number two I would have to endure the loss of her respect and trust and might possibly lose my entire relationship to her. I would shame number three my father and my mother and I would shame her mom and dad as well. Number four I would seriously and perhaps irreparably damage the confidence of my children Karis, Ali, Raya and Adan who would probably never understand why I traded them for a thrill. Number five I would cause shame to you my church family. Number six I would give an easy punch line to all the skeptics and atheists in the area who already mock God. Number seven I would heap judgment and endless problems on the girl that I committed adultery with. Number eight most importantly I would grieve Jesus. Number nine and I know that one day I'll have to look at Jesus in the face at the judgment seat and have to give an account for why I did it after all the blessing that he had put in my life. Number 10 I would follow in the footsteps of men I know whose immorality forfeited their ministry and humiliated themselves and their families. All those things I know would be the result. Now could that sin be forgiven?

Yes of course. Can God make all things new? Of course he can but sin kills. Hear this, it kills. That's why the Puritan John Owen said be killing sin or it will be killing you. One of those two things has always happened and you're killing sin or it's killing you. Are you killing sin in your life today?

Not just managing it but destroying it? A challenging thought from Pastor JD Greer here on Summit Life. To take this study deeper you can access sermon transcripts and other free resources at jdgreer.com.

This month we have a timely resource that you'll want to grab right away. It's a book for the Christmas season called He is Here 25 Devotions for Advent. JD who is the ideal audience for this latest book that we're sharing with our partners? I think the primary audience we had in mind for this were the listeners of Summit Life, perhaps for your families. It could be for a married couple, it could be for your small group, it could be for an entire church to just walk through together to prepare your hearts to experience the presence of Jesus this Christmas.

It's kid-friendly, it's quick enough to be used around the dinner table. I think it'll just give you some new language, some new insight into some very familiar stories if you've been around church and I think you'll find yourself wanting to pass on some of the insights you get to others. One of the greatest discoveries that I've ever made is how Jesus is on every page of the Old Testament and learn to worship Him as I work my way through. I think this will really enrich your Christmas season. So go get your copy today at jdgrier.com. Every day through the radio and our online archive of Pastor JD's sermons. So thank you so much for partnering with us. I'm Molly Vidovitch and I'm so glad to have you with us today. Be sure to listen again tomorrow as we'll continue this study called Search for a King. That's Friday on Summit Life with JD Greer. Today's program was produced and sponsored by JD Greer Ministries.