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May 9, 2022 9:00 am
Today on Summit light pastor Judy Greer reframes how we think about marriage and singleness the same people who are married you want to reflect on the bottom of this marriage that you just temporary light image momentary is not eternally significant single people because they picture in my mouth does not permanently Journal either because of the temporary life they price of the church. What's permanent and ultimate back for another week Summit life pastor JD Greer at the summit church in Raleigh, North Carolina. As always, I'm your host Molly benefits seem like our culture acts like romantic love is the pinnacle of human existence in our earliest days we read about that happily ever after that comes when you meet your soulmate but is not really how it works today pastor JD gives us a balanced biblical view of marriage as he continues our new series on relationships called first love. If you miss the beginning of the sermon. I just wanted to remind you that you can always hear previous firstname.lastname@example.org entitled today's message light and momentary marriage. We are in Ephesians chapter 5. So let's get started today just blast versus 3132 were Paul sums up all the things he's been teaching on on relationships by verse 31.
Therefore, Paul says, a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife and the two shall become one flesh. This mystery of marriage is profound as I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. Paul in these two verses explains to us that marriage was given to us not as an end in itself. It was given to us as a side of a higher reality. God actually created marriage for the intention of giving us a tangible demonstration of a different relationship a higher reality, that is, according to Paul, Christ's relationship to his church. There's only one you should write this down this is deep is pretty radical as you get this.
Nothing else from your own outcome except try to write this down one marriage is not ultimate is a sign and a shadow of a higher reality. Christ.
Paul says, is the source of all love and joy.
He is the son. The love that you were created for is not the love of another human being the love that you were created for Christ love what you say this Mrs. radical is revolutionary, we must renounce the primacy of our natural relationships and follow Jesus and the fellowship of the people of God whether we are single or married. Write this down a bit on the this point. Marriage gone wrong when your happiness. For example, in yourself or other dependent on be love romantically. This is the most widely worshiped false God. We think that romantic love completes us. The second wave of mayors goes wrong under this one. When you make marriage. The measure of a significant life unit mirrors the measure of significant life we have this assumption that the man or woman who does not leave or have a permanent family is of no real lasting mark in the world. Now you guys filming. I'm into family. I have a big but, according to Scripture ultimate family is not biological. According to Scripture ultimate family is ecclesiological, which means the church. It's not produced ultimate that was not produced by procreation ultimate family is produced by spirit regeneration disciples of Jesus are the offspring that endure forever us a life that does not produce biological offspring is not a failed life. A life that does not make disciples of Jesus is a failed wife, you know, spirit was sterile in God's book.
It's other people that only kids behind.
If the people little produced disciples of Jesus because that's the real family. That's the eternal family of course it's great when your natural family are also part of the permanent eternal family. My wife, this is my first pastoral responsibility. I get that my kids are my first mission field, but my biological family is just temporary. The church is eternal so you would never say to somebody, and ultimate sense. You complete me know Christ and the church complete you a gift of God to matter how good should never replace in your heart. The thing it symbolizes is my question for you to be honest, could you be single your whole life and not feel devastated. Could you go through life without a happy marriage and still feel happy and fulfilled.
Because of the answer is no then marriage is probably become an idol to you.
I don't mean do you want to be married because that's a God-given desire will say that a minute what I mean is it so significant to you that you will see how life would be worth living without it.
You say I don't see how life to be happy or fulfilled if I didn't have good and satisfying romance. So let's leave their first Corinthians 7 were Paul about three books you get about a foot over three books. The last 34 books and and you'll find the first radius. Paul wrote both Ephesians and first Corinthians, so he is going to take the concept that is got here. Ephesians 5 is you apply it in first Caribbean seven to a church that's made up of a lot of single people to the city of Corinth that he's writing to the Corinthians court is one of fastest growing cities in the ancient world a lot of single people moving into it to try to try to start is replace you to get a new job right first Caribbean 77 Paul says regarding marriage.
I wish that all were as I myself am now merely speaking multiple singleness right, but each of us has his own gift from God. When one kind one another. Here's number two.
Write this down singleness is not an inferior state marriage singleness is not an inferior state to marriage Christianity's founder, Jesus, and its lead theologian St. Paul were both single their entire lives.
And if you are somebody who thinks that in order to have a fulfilled, happy life. You gotta be married, then you are accusing Jesus who is most fully alive human person ever live that he never was fulfilled and that's not true. Every time you pray, you pray to a 33-year-old single adult, humanly speaking about it, but this is what people believe, especially the church single general bill sometimes building. People are always trying to fix them up as if there were something wrong with them right. We can admit that my best friend Bruce got married relatively later in his life since because so sick back to his home church wedding is always always come up to me like a Lori Brewster next your next piece I got so sick of it. I found her to go to funerals and I go to those same ways and I don't worry your next your leg and shut up. It is the assumption is something wrong. I got to fix this, but Paul says there are some real privileges to being single.
I will talk about some of them at a minimum limits of knowledge against the world same page. Sometimes in the church we talk is of marriage were superior state and if you're single, it's because you're not ready for marriage. It that's not true. You know it's not true. Some of the most messed up immature dysfunctional people I know are married and marriage were conditional on becoming the right kind of person that God deftly got the wrong blessing address when you send it out, but we think that so we say super spiritual but ridiculous things like this for the church as soon as you're satisfied in God alone will bring someone special to your life as if we are God's blessings by achieving some spiritual Jedi state to pay her then you know that God sends a marriage in your life. No or have others and the reason you're single is because you're too picky, as though God is frustrated by our narrow parameters and God needs us to broaden them so that he can bless us your analogous before you can marry somebody wonderful. You must become someone wonderful, as though God grants marriage as a second blessing to the satisfactorily sanctified Tim Keller who talked about a number of these phrases says listen under all these statements is the premise that a single life as a second-class life, a state of deprivation for people not yet fully formed for marriage. But that's not true because marriage is not ultimate marriage is temporary. It is a symbol.
It is something God gives to some, but it's not the point will allude more Paul thought, what is give her 29 was a great viewpoint.
Time has grown very short. From now on, but those who have wives live as though they had nine. What was that person is like a favorite verse of people going out to Vegas or Haiti like prayer and violet soliloquy in the lives that would contradict everything else. The impossible has said the EEOC.
It was €30 on receipt for the present for this world is passing away. The world is passing away, and along with the world is passing away. Marriage is passing away. Biological families are passing away.
They're not ultimate, and they're not permit to watch you say to people who are married you to reflect on the fact that this marriage that you ran your biological family or if it's just temporary light in its momentary and is not eternal. It's not eternally significant: you single people you want to reflect on the fact that that state that you're in right now. That's not permanent.
Return leader festers a temporary light thing that what ultimate and what's eternal as Christ of the church, not marriage and biological family Christ in the church.
What's permanent and ultimate. That leads me to number three.
Both marriage and singleness are temporary gifts that God uses for the fulfillment of his purposes both marriage and singleness are temporary gifts of God uses for the moment of his purposes but would you number seven.
Each of us has his own gift from God 11, one of another. Notice that both marriage and singleness in this verse are called gifts door. He uses forget. By the way of supporting great charisma tie or get the word charismatic, which means literally spiritual gift or action very literally. Spiritual empowerment is a spiritual empowerment that God gives you at a specific time in your life for the accomplishment of his purposes in or through you like any other spiritual gift like to get the preaching to get the wisdom to get the hospitality to get the process and whatever you want to do is a spiritual gift that God gives you for the fulfillment of his purposes might be temporary. It might be a special empowerment for a specific time in your life for others of you. It might be a calling that last the duration of your life. But listen, you may not see this yet. Listen singleness is a gift.
Maybe God has a special assignment for you that you can only accomplish if you're single or maybe you got something you need to complete. Like your education or a military assignment and you can't do it when you're married or maybe there are some character things and God could teach you better if you were single than if you were married. Or maybe you're supposed to dim in autism figures was to demonstrate your unsaved friends that happiness and contentment are found in romance there found in God and you would be able to do that is effectively if you're married, as you can when you're single. Maybe that's why God is giving you a temporary time in your life as a spiritual gift of charisma because he is empowering you to do something in his kingdom.
Singleness is a gift, it may be a gift for a temporary time in your life and maybe some of the last the duration of you like but it is a gift. Marriage is also a gift that God is will return to moment that I wanted to tell you about our featured resource estimate we want to help you connect easily and quickly with nosy laugh without having something else your plate. We had a set of conversation cards which are simply cards with one question or prompt on men to pull out while you're eating dinner or on a long car ride there meant to help you and does your closeness with relationships and eating grass.
Also included 15 devotionals and now the same topics that comes with your gift in ministry right now so give us a call and 335-5220 were checking email@example.com.
Now let's get back to the conclusion of today's teaching nice read Paul's words in verse 77 we serve.
I would like me when I was in college was so guilty asking for a wife will clearly Paul thinks that it's better for the kingdom of your single so you be a singles like varsity and be married is JV so I will make a big if everything must public would ask for what it's but that's not what Paul is saying that all will look again over seven. Each has his own gift from God. One of one kind or another gift from God.
It's not yours to decide is God's to give him it was God's not right marriage. It was God who looked at me and said how good it meant to be alone. I wasn't in a man's idea and the companion that was God's idea, why was not good for man to be alone because men do things like they were black pants, white socks, they understand the need for furniture by a guy most single God. Our dream pad as well is no single your dream pad including waterbed blackouts, a TV with PS3 of surroundsound and that's it. That makes us the ultimate it's the ultimate bet when you move as a single guy it takes you one body of Ford Mustang bungee cords in 15 minutes or so God made woman come all for it and fix all that a man speaking very just be terrible amount of stereotype on a more serious note, marriage is a gift that teaches you about the love of God.
It's a ray of the sun.
It's it's how God chooses to meet some of your desires for companionship, affection, affirmation, security as I'll explain you later in the series.
Marriage has taught me more about the gospel than anything else in my life. I learned more about the gospel through marriage than I ever did in seminary similar to the doctrines of the gospel are very grateful for that. But it was my marriage that exposed to me. My need for grace. It taught me how to show grace I became much more intimate in touch with the gospel in the con in the that with us a confines my marriage I will go to my right in the context of my marriage than I ever did okay in seminary and of course it's the arena that God has created for the enjoyment of sexual intimacy and it's the arena.
God created for the propagation of the human race, sexual desire as strong as it is was not your idea was an out-of-control desire God created you with the strength of that desire. If you read verse two in chapter 7.
At first, a little crude, but you gotta get the context because of the temptation of sexual immorality, each man should have his own life, and each woman her own husband. God created section created marriage is a gift for those you can't control that urgent created marriage is a gift for you be able to enjoy that right was losing a number four. Both singleness and marriage have their advantages and drawbacks okay marriage is wonderful. It really is, but it has its drawbacks. Paul knowledges this verse 33. The married man is anxious about worldly things, please his wife and his interest are divided single guys you realize everything changes when you get married you realize that right your house changes. As I mentioned before but when I was single to move everything own in the trunk of a car it would take a Ford F1 50 now just move the pillows that are on top of my bed. That's how my house changes in your bathtub gets filled with all these products and if it makes you never heard of various kinds of soaps for different parts of the body. Scented products weird looking rock thingies that have holes in it. Are you looking for is nose like a jungle gym get in the my my bathtub shower now not bathroom well single use to help one bar of soap one.
I wash everything with it. My hair my body my face the floors if they were dirty… 150 your dress changes when you get married when I first started today by the way, I found out when I first started dating my wife Veronica and her friends would make fun of me as I would show up in what I was dressing.
We dated for a few months we would go to the mall together. We would take out my credit cards you would advise me what to buy. We dated a few more months and then she will go to the mall with my credit card, home stopped and asked me if I liked it. Now that we've been married stuff just shows up in my closet.
And this is like this is what your way. She has told her girlfriends that they ever see me at the mall by myself. It is a code red to text her immediately because I might be buying clothes for myself and that is not allowed in our house. I see your dress phase your substantial changes radically.
When you're single your route running out all the time to see movies and your hike in playing golf going on trips that changes when you get married at the last guy little demagogy to what your hobbies like wood and my hobbies used to be. They used to be rockclimbing and skiing. Now I spend most my time in the kitty section of the bowl. I don't know rockclimbing. I'll play a lot of golf. I don't see movies a lot. I don't understand three guys why well, I'm married nestled all that stuff. That's because you're a better husband. Okay, I discussed somebody had to say that I would be the guy. By the way this not because Veronica next meal time. This is my interest are divided as was said they have to be going as many mission trips. I used it when I was single and few nearly as many as I did when I was single why because my first mission field. My unreached people group.
I first called to live in the house and under the age of 10, that's, that's my interest or divide note to redesign some of these things is still back radically to the shutter.
What are your hobbies and Karis Allie Ryan and knows the names of Bobby's you have any pets yet. Karis Allie Ryan add anymore. How many miles to feed my house.
What you do with your money changes made to isolated and will be the chemist get the can be that much you know you just at a wife is usually in the house. Are you have so no. You say to doesn't disclose up to dictation what is God like him to get married son have sex. Women warn you it's a lot more expensive than you think. I took the amount of my family adds to my monthly budget and I divided it by the number of times the average couple have sex and I figured out, conservatively speaking, each encounter is close to me close to $600 right so do some tell you that is not reason to get married way carefully by course. My wife says Veronica says to be sure you think it's expensive be married to me to try to leave me and you'll see how expensive it will become. I saw a guy says to me I want to get married and my responses. Do you really are you ready for your life to change that much into the women he says exact same thing.
Verse 34, the unmarried of the preferred woman is anxious about the things Lord, how to be only in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things that we worldly their living simple. Just mean things of the world worldly things, how to please her husband sick you say you want to marry Amanda. Mike really didn't smell like on a regular basis. You know that he part not have the same appetite. You do ask about couple make another dating phase never relative my wife and I did that and I might just that in the things we were chopsticks. I can't get enough food in my mouth a couple oversized toothpicks is going to have read me when it and if I can wear that I have cows in my front yard to meet with every meal. This is different. It just changes everything. If you get married and have kids. This can affect your career. Whether you're the husband or wife.
For many of you may stymie your career altogether. One of my my mentors is in the 60s were like 20 some bugs I what's the favorite book you've written. Of all the books my favorite book was what I didn't like my kids. One of the age of five. That's available that I've written it, it changes things, the freedom of a single person to pursue certain things, both recreational and careerwise is a stealthy now listen, I don't want to take away from be married. Marriage is my gift. I would not be half the man that I am or the minister that I am. If I was a husband and father.
The things of God is done in my life to these roles are wonderful, but my interest are by God's design divided. There are advantages to being single.
There are drawbacks to be single. There's a manager to be married there drawbacks to be married, leaving the number five.
The answer to. Should I get married you to parse it. If the answer to get a marriage is a do I have the gift that's the answer we got. How I know that I have differ not the question. Verse nine Fritz better married Mindy aflame with passion little words do not go to virginity and you should work toward getting married aflame impact you want, aflame with passion means anything you look at the girl God. You admit she is hot, aflame with passion is what a girl feels when she sexually desires a guy and he's like you can control that you want to ask God for the gift of a spouse. You could have an easier time be holy Paul who had the gift of singleness describes himself like this, verse 37 little bit whoever is firmly established in his heart be under no necessity having his desire under control. You will be well might underline those three phrases firmly established in his heart. Under no necessity having his desire under control those things describe you right now you probably have the gift of singleness, at least for the time being and you want to take advantage of in describe you at all, then you should ask God for his mouth. Now the summit life with pastor JD Greer if you'd like to listen again or share this message with a friend.
You can find it free of firstname.lastname@example.org will hear it summit life. Our mission is to help you dive deeper into the gospel message every day in a world that's full of distractions is JDR newest resource sets out to meet families today right where there doesn't yeah exactly Molly. We are also distracted by the news. By the latest app on iPhone by whatever reminders come in through bar families going 100 different directions in various activities.
What we want to do is we want to help you connect easily and quickly without adding something else your plate. We created a set of conversation carts. The just cards with one question one prompt on them double just take the dialogue in some directions that it may not otherwise go to help you with those you close this with talk about about faith and rest and what it means to trust God and what it means to love and serve each other. It comes along with the book of 15 devotions that I wrote around the same topics that a few parenting devotions turnings and only taught rest body piercing is that even a real thing love to give you a copy of this things JD Greer.com start that conversation. That relationship this resource and access a lot of other things as well.
Be sure to ask for the devotions for the distracting family 15 days on relationship conversation when you contact, fixing the 552 20 here online Greer.com Molly benefits today sure to tune into our new relationship on night