A lot of men are on autopilot when it comes to their family. Guys, if you show the same initiative in your job that you show in your family, you get fired in a week. And this is your most important assignment. Spiritual headship is not license to do whatever you wanna do. Spiritual headship is empowerment to do what you ought to do.
Welcome back to the Summit Life podcast. As always, I'm your host, Molly Vitovich. Have you ever found yourself asking, does this really matter? In our new featured resource titled Why Does It Matter?, Pastor JD tackles some of the most important questions that Christians wrestle with but don't always know how to answer. You'll explore why foundational beliefs shape the way that we live every day.
From understanding why correct theology matters, to discovering the power and purpose of prayer, to seeing the significance of everyday faithfulness, this resource connects big truths to real life. We'll send you a copy by email immediately when you make a donation of any size at jdgreer.com. Today, Pastor J.D. Greer walks us through a passage that stirs up a lot of confusion, specifically about the topic of submission. If you're wondering how all that works, you've come to the right place.
Let's join Pastor JD in Ephesians chapter 5. One of the most era-defining movies of my childhood was The Karate Kid. It was a story about, I guess, a loser kid who gets beat up, and this older Japanese man teaches him how to succeed in life by teaching him the principles of karate. As a kid, it was inspiring. It was awesome for what it's worth.
I went back and watched it a few months ago with my kids. It's not nearly as awesome as I remember it. In fact, how being in the crane position does not signal to your opponent exactly what you were about to do, I'm not really sure, but it was awesome when I was a kid. And one of the most captivating parts of the story was how Mr. Miyagi, who was the mentor, how he taught Daniel how to fight.
Now, if a lot of you have seen the movie, but if not, basically, Daniel shows up at his house and Mr. Miyagi gives him a series of chores. Remember this? Yeah, it is to wash the car and then sand the floor and then paint the fence. And after about a month, he's just sick of it.
He's like, you got me doing your housework. Kind of the big revelation moment. Mr. Miyagi shows him that in learning to do these mundane tasks, he's actually learned all the skills that he needs in order to become a great fighter.
Well, I share that because in many ways, Ephesians chapter 5, that's what Paul is showing you God has set up the world like. He set up the world in essentially the same way. Paul is going to take three very common relationships in our lives: three relationships that you'll probably at some point be involved in. Those three very ordinary relationships are marriage, family. and work.
And he shows us that these very ordinary relationships are like the laboratories in which God teaches us the character skills that are going to make us more like himself. In each of these three relationships, we're going to learn one very important quality, a quality that defined Jesus himself, and that quality is submission. Paul opens up this section with that concept. It kind of starts in verse 21. Submitting to one another, he says, in the fear of Christ.
Now, technically, this is the last phrase of the last sentence of the previous section, but Paul uses that as his kind of bridge into discussion of these three relationships. He said, you're going to submit to one another, all of you. In the fear of Christ, out of respect for Christ or as a way of serving Christ. Submitting to one another out of respect for Christ, in which we're gonna learn to be like Jesus. This is really important.
Caveat as we get started here: the fact that we submit to others in relationships like these. does not make us inferior to the person to whom we're submitting. In the same way that when somebody else is submitting to us in one of these relationships, it doesn't make us superior to them. In another one of his letters, Paul makes this very clear. Paul says, In Christ, in Christ, there's really neither Jew nor Greek.
There's neither slave nor free. There is no male or female. You could insert right there all these other relationships that we just discussed. There's no husband or wife. In Christ, there's no parent or child.
In Christ, there is no employer or employee. You're really all, we're all one in Christ Jesus. We're all equal in nature. There is no hierarchy in Christ. But that doesn't mean that for a time in our lives, we play some of these various roles.
Even Jesus himself, Paul said, learned to play the role of submission. In 1 Corinthians 15, Paul explains that though Jesus was himself God in his nature, And of course then equal with God, he still submitted his will to the will of the Father. The writer of the book of Hebrews says that by doing this, Jesus learned submission. God learned to submit to God. We had on our staff.
a guy. He was part-time, but he was also a part-time police officer.
So on our staff, he was part of our counseling team. He was a part-time counselor here, and he pastoral counseling and a part-time police officer. It was great because he understood that really fine line between when somebody needed compassion and when they needed to be arrested. He kind of got that.
So it was good to have him around. But sometimes he would spend a few hours here in the office while he was on his way to doing something else. And he would come in his police uniform in his police car. Which was always interesting because when he would show up and walk into the office, I'm the head of the staff because I'm the lead pastor, so he would submit to me. He's kind of under my authority.
But the moment that we walked out and got in our cars and got on the road, Then I submitted to him because he was the authority. Right, so who was superior to whom?
Well, the question is simply depends on what role that we are playing.
Well, that's what Paul is trying to get at here. It has nothing to do with superiority or inferiority. We're all one in Christ Jesus. There's no hierarchy. It's got to do with roles that we play at various points in our lives that God uses like a laboratory to teach us to be more like Jesus.
All right, you got this? All right, so let's look at the very first laboratory, verse 22. Mowage. May wage, verse 22. Wives.
Submit to your husbands as to the Lord. There it is, ladies, your favorite verse, right? You're like, when's he gonna get to that one? I'm so excited about that one. I know you got like a pillow at home with this cross stitched on it.
So here it is. I talked about it. Because the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of the body.
Now, as the church submits to Christ, so also wives are to submit to their husbands in everything. Just so you can never accuse me of soft peddling any part of the Bible.
Well, just go ahead and make sure you saw that last phrase, in everything. Yes, it is. Listen, I realize when I say that, that some of you ladies, your head is about to explode right now because you've got all kinds of questions, and maybe you've seen this distorted. You've seen this used for abuse. You've seen it abused and twisted.
I understand that.
Okay, I'm married to a wonderful, very competent woman who is very high-spirited. And yes, I get all of that.
So just hang on with me, if you will. Let's get through this, and then I'll come back and we'll talk about some of those questions. Verse 25, husbands, he says, you love your wives just as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her to make her holy, cleansing her with the washing of water by the word. He did this. That's an important phrase we'll come back to.
He did this to present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or anything like that, but holy and blameless. In the same way, you see, husbands will love their wives like they're loving their own bodies. You know, the one who loves his wife loves himself because when you make something part of your body, when you take care of it, you're taking care of you. Nobody ever hates his own flesh but provides it and cares for it, just as Christ does for the church, since we're actually members of his body. Verse 31: For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two will become one new body.
This mystery is profound, but see, I'm telling you that God gave us the marriage relationship as a way of teaching us about Christ and the church, Christ's relationship to his people.
So let's start with the husband. Get this. The husband submits to his wife. Remember, that's kind of the heading. Submit to one another out of the fear of Christ.
The husband submits to his wife by loving her and leading her like Christ loved and led the church. In teaching this, Paul is going to draw all the way back from the creation narratives of Genesis 2. Throughout Ephesians 5, he's going to quote Genesis 2 a number of different times. We go back to Genesis 2, and what we see is that God assigned the man at least four ways that he was to have a Christ-like leadership role in the home. He was, first of all, if you're jotting these down, number one, he was to provide for her.
Before God created the woman? He had the man working in the garden with a job. It was only after the man had a job and after he was providing for himself that God brought him a wife. A little quick little application here, ladies, if he can't hold down a job. If he's 28 years old and still uses his mom and dad's credit card, I'd stay away from it.
That's free. That's just from Uncle J.D. Thank you very much. Second, second, he was trying, he was to lead the way spiritually. He's supposed to lead the way spiritually.
When Eve was brought to Adam, he already had a relationship with God. He was already walking with God. He was already obeying the commands of God. He was tasked with relaying to her the commands of God and to lead her in obeying them by example. Then you were supposed to be the spiritual leaders in your home.
Did you see that phrase? I pointed it out a minute ago, wash her with water by the word. You're like, what does that mean? That means that you lead in the application of scripture to your family. And I know that's so overwhelming some of you guys because you're like, oh, I get this image of me having to lead a Bible study for my wife, and she knows more about the Bible than I do, and she's smarter than I am.
And I know that, and she knows that, and God knows that. It's going to be embarrassing. Yes, we all know that. We know that she's smarter than you. But all it means is that you lead the way in applying scripture and you lead the way in leading your family to obey it.
I'll give you real quick: just here's one little experiment that you can do if you're like overwhelmed by this. You go home tonight. When you get home tonight, you just look at your wife and you say, Hey baby, how can I pray for you?
Okay, and then let her come up with some things and then you write those things down like you're because you're going to pray for them and then and then you remember one thing from my sermon, just one. Just one friend, and then you pray those things over her, and then you pray the application point of that scripture and pray over her. And when you say amen, guys, I'm telling you, y'all are going to look up, and she's going to be crying, and you're going to be leaving, and you're going to feel awesome. You're going to feel awesome to be like, I just became a spiritual leader, and you're going to write me a thank you note, and I'm ready to receive it, okay?
So. Washing her with the word also means you become the primary mouth fleece that declares God's feelings about her to her. Namely, that she's valued, that she's cherished, that she's precious in God's sight, that she's got a bright future because of the promises of God in her. Husband, let me ask you to consider something. What if your wife's identity was built solely on your compliments and encouragements that you gave to her?
How balanced would her emotional life be? How healthy would her self-understanding be? I'll give you another little experiment that you can do just because I'm feeling generous today to you husbands, okay? You need to get your Bible out, and I want you to make a list of the, just go through Ephesians 5, 1 Corinthians 13, Proverbs 31, and Galatians 5, and list out all the characteristics that you see in those passages of Christ-likeness, because that's what those are. And then for the next three, two, three weeks, every time you see one in your wife, you just call it out in her.
And you just say, man, I see Jesus in you, and I see him working in you. And you just pray for her, and you affirm those in your wife, and it's going to be awesome. You're going to be a leader. Thirdly, he takes the lead in romance.
So he leads in provision. He leads spiritually. Thirdly, he leads in romance. Did you know the first human recorded human words in the Bible? The first ones are in Genesis 2 of Adam composing a love poem about his wife.
He was to be the one taking the initiative in romancing his wife. which means men, you should be the one budgeting for. and planning and suggesting and pulling off the date nights. I thought some woman out there would give me an amen. My wife yelled amen so loud in the first service, I just embarrassed the heck out of me.
So it means you ought to be the one taking the initiative in these kinds of romance. You ought to be the one on the other side figuring out when the relationship is in trouble. and you need some counseling. I'm not a marriage counselor, but I tell you, it's almost always the opposite way. We have a woman dragging in a guy saying, We're in deep trouble.
It's your responsibility, husband. Your responsibility to understand the relationship enough to know when you need help. Finally, he was to lead, we see in Genesis 2, in sacrifice. In verse 31, Paul is going to reference God's instructions to the man to leave his previous life and to cleave to his wife to become one with her. And Paul's going to compare that to Jesus' relationship with us when he left his heavenly home and he came and united himself to us and offered his life up for us.
And Paul says, in the same way, you're going to lay down your life for your spouse. Laying down your life doesn't simply mean being willing to die for her. Laying down your life means daily putting her needs above yours. and using whatever power or leadership position you have to serve her. It means, husbands, that in decisions, I give Veronica's needs and preferences more weight than I do my own.
Guys, what that means is that if I am serving Veronica like Christ served the church. That means in 94.8% of the places where we disagree, we're going to end up doing what she wants. Because most decisions are not spiritual leadership decisions. They're just preferences. And my preferences and my needs should always be second to hers.
So, to borrow from C.S. Lewis here, men, yes, in the marriage relationship, you wear a crown. But that crown that you wear is primarily made of thorns. It's one that you wear like Jesus wore. That's how I submit to my wife.
I use my leadership to serve her.
Now before we move on to the wife. Let me point out that in one sense, Humanity's fall happened because of a failure of man to lead in this way. I've pointed this out before, but read Genesis 2 and 3 through the lens of men and leading or not leading. It says that, you know, Genesis 3 opens up with the woman in a conversation with a snake who is Satan. And Satan convinces the woman to try the forbidden fruit.
And then it says that she gave it to her husband, who was there with her.
Now I've pointed out that in Hebrew the word with her means that he was standing like right next to her, not that he was off somewhere else in the garden doing man stuff, grilling and killing and that kind of stuff. He was standing right there with her.
Now, he knew the commands of God. He knew that God had said, the day that you eat of it, you will surely die, which means that he's standing right there watching this thing go down. And so, when his wife takes the bite of this, what is this dirtbag thinking? I wonder if she's gonna drop dead. If so, I'll know that's a bad idea.
So not only Is he failing to lead spiritually? He's also failing to lead in sacrifice and protection. Right? The way the conversation, the way it should have gone down, is Genesis 3 opens up with the snake making his way over to the woman, and all of a sudden they're being at him like, kid, what are you doing talking to my wife? You can't talk to my wife.
We're not going to mess around with that tree. We obey God. Right, and this is what we're doing. That's what should have happened is not what happened. And because of that, there was everything began to come unraveled.
In one sense, the original sin was not a sin of commission as much as it was a sin of omission. He failed to lead, which means that That he omitted where he was, and that led to the destruction of the human race in the same way. Just like humanity fell because men didn't lead like Christ, I would suggest to you that When men in this church or any church reassume their leadership role, That's when we're going to see the transformation of society in our churches. You know, studies pretty consistently show That if a child is the first one to get saved in a family, if a child's the first one to get saved in the family, there is a 3.5% chance that everybody else in the family will get saved. That's pretty low.
If the mother is the first one to get saved in a family, there's a 17% chance that everybody else in the family will get saved. If a father is the first one to get saved in a family, there is a 93% chance that everybody else in the family will get saved. Man, listen to this. Your families. are going to be most impacted when you are the one leading in family devotion.
When you're the ones that are setting the priorities, when you're the ones taking the lead in discipline, when you're the one that is responsible to keep the family schedule on track. I mean, as it stands now, you know this. A lot of men are on autopilot when it comes to their family. They come home and they're like, well, I'm done with my leadership, now it's my wife's turn. I just say, guys, if a lot of you show the same initiative in your job that you show in your family, you get fired in a week.
And this is your most important assignment. Listen, we got a lot of men who lead in this church, and thank God for that, but we need more of them. Because you got a lot of men that are sitting back just like Adam in the garden watching Sports Center, letting their wife lead in everything. God came down to Adam and Eve after the sin, and the question to me is very haunting. He says to Adam, Where are you?
In other words, where were you? Where were you, Adam? Where were you when it was time to lead? You weren't there. It wasn't that you were bad, you were just disengaged.
We need men to be the spiritual leaders in the homes because it would transform families, churches, societies. Did you know? I saw the study recently. The International Mission Board in the hard places. The really difficult mission places, female applicants outnumber male applicants seven to one.
Now, thank God for women of faith and courage who are stepping up and saying, we are ready to be used. But man, I'm just going to tell you, they should not be the ones leading out in the hard areas. The world will be restored. when men take that Christ-like leadership role. Amen, ladies.
Amen. Amen. All right.
Now to the wife. He says, Why, if you reflect Jesus and how you submit to that leadership. Like I showed you twice in this passage, she is told, submit to your husbands in everything.
So what does that mean?
Well first, let me point out what it doesn't mean. It doesn't mean the dominance of the man as if she exists as a serf in his house to cater to his whims, because, like I showed you, the husband is told first to lay down his life for her. Nor does it mean, ladies, that you ever allow yourself to be put in a situation where you might be harmed. Verse 22, when it says, submit to him as to the Lord, submit to him as a way of serving God, not submitting to him as if he were God. That means that if your husband was ever telling you to do something that would make you disobey the Lord or His leadership ever put you or your family in physical harm's way, it means you need to get out of there.
You need to come see us and you need to let us help you. You need to get some counseling. That concept doesn't mean that all women everywhere should submit to all men everywhere, as if women cannot lead in the workplace or in government. Paul is only talking about the marriage relationship here. Finally, guys, let me also point out to you that this verse is actually not addressed to you, it's addressed to her.
Which means that you can't use it as a tool to wield over your wife. That's her verse, not yours. Dean Martin Lloyd-Jones, a British pastor, says, it's hers to obey, it's not yours to demand. If she's not doing it, the only thing you can do... Other than maybe leaving your Bible open to Ephesians 5 in strategic places around the house, the only thing you can do is to try to be the kind of leader that it would be a joy to submit to.
And then just you play your role and then trust God with her playing hers. What it does mean, ladies, is that you allow him the space. to steer the family. I love how Kathy Keller, who is the wife of Tim Keller, Oh, she explains it. She says, it means...
that in matters of disagreement, I yield to Tim the deciding vote. I get a vote. And then he gets a vote. And then he gets the deciding vote. And she tells the story of their decision about whether or not to move to New York City so that they could plant the Redeemer Presbyterian Church.
And she said, after praying about it for about a month, he felt like the answer was yes, and I felt like the answer was no. She said, we came to a point where we had to make a decision because to not make a decision would be functionally to make one against. And she said, so he conceded. He said, okay, sweetheart, okay, Kathy, if you don't want to go, then we won't go. And Kathy said, I responded back to him.
Oh, no, you don't. You are not putting this on me. God put this responsibility on you. And you gotta bear the responsibility for this decision, and you gotta bear the burden if it's a wrong decision. Spiritual leadership means he has the burden of responsibility.
It's supposed to be good news. You are relieved of the burden of being accountable for a bad decision. Like Tony Evans, the African-American pastor and preacher always says: spiritual headship is God telling a woman to duck so he can punch the man. He bears the burden of the deciding vote. Guys, I've told you this.
Spiritual headship is not licensed to do whatever you want to do. Spiritual headship is empowerment to do what you ought to do. But, wives, that means that you don't only follow him when you agree with him or feel like he's making the right decision. That's not submission, that's agreement. A lot of times, a woman will come back from a conference and she'll be like, oh, my husband's not a spiritual leader.
What do I do with that? And they wonder, you know, what does that mean for how I follow him?
Well, notice the verse doesn't say submit when he is a sufficiently spiritual enough leader in your eyes. If your husband is not a spiritual leader, your submission to him in this way, can help call him up into that kind of leadership. One of the simplest and most meaningful ways to stay connected with Summit Life throughout the week is through our weekly email newsletter. Every Tuesday, we'll show up in your inbox with gospel-centered encouragement to help you press forward with God in the middle of real life. You'll find links to Pastor JD's latest radio programs, podcasts, and videos, along with updates on new resources and stories from listeners who are being shaped by God's Word, just like you.
It's not overwhelming and it's not gluttered. It's thoughtful, biblical encouragement you can return to whenever you need it. Think of it as a way to take the teaching you hear on Summit Life and carry it with you into the rest of your week, whether that's over your morning coffee, during a lunch break, or in a quiet moment at the end of the day. And when you sign up today, we want to say thank you. You'll receive a free digital download designed to help you slow down, reflect on scripture, and spend intentional time with God through prayer.
Signing up is easy. Just head to jdgreer.com right now and begin receiving our newsletter right away. Thanks for joining with us as we multiply gospel impact around the world. Let me explain something about guys. And again, you probably already know this, but you just hear it from one of us.
Every guy, from the day that he is born, from the day he emerges from the womb, comes into the world asking the question: do I have what it takes? And some of us We're blessed enough that we got that affirmation from our fathers, and so we became spiritual leaders. But a lot of guys had lousy dads, and so they didn't get that affirmation, and so they doubt whether or not they actually have it, and then they get married to you. And you can call him up into that by saying you do have what it takes, and you can lead. Your submission creates a vacuum that serves as an invitation.
And when he does, you need to encourage him. You need to say things like, that's my man right there. That's my man helping make these decisions. That's my man leadership and watch him come alive. Listen to both husbands and wives.
Let me encourage you. Don't reject this just because you've seen this warped. All relationships can be twisted, marriage, parenting, work relationships, but that does just because they're twisted and messed up sometimes doesn't mean the frameworks are wrong in themselves. My friend Matt Chandler, pastor out in Texas, he says, a husband sacrificially loving his wife? And a wife submitted to her godly husband?
Creates a relationship that the world would never look at and say, How disgusting and archaic. A lot of people who say they're turned off by the Christian teaching on marriage are actually attracted to the Christian marriages that they see.
So, listen, let me tell you, when you, the two of you, start to conduct your marriage this way, you're going to find, I promise you, that deeper joy that you've been searching for in marriage. This is what happy marriages are made of. Because happy marriages are not about perfect romance, happy marriages are all about fellowship with Jesus. And at its core, marriage, first and foremost, is supposed to be gospel reenactment. It's a laboratory where you learn to be like Jesus and you learn to walk with Jesus.
In fact, when marriages fall apart, it's not because couples fall out of love, it's because couples fall out of fellowship with Jesus. You see, that relationship, that vertical relationship, ends up becoming the source of blessing in the horizontal relationships that you have with one another.
So, this is all about fellowship with Jesus, and it's about being so enamored with Him and walking with Him. that it then affects how you you behave in your marriage because ultimately you're doing it for him, not for them. For those of you who are single, There are other laboratories where God works on this also. Marriage is just one of the laboratories. Paul's main objective in all these relationships is not fixing the marriage, it's actually getting you to focus here.
So, there are other relationships where he says you can learn this same thing. You can learn this principle of submission and selflessness.
So, he's going to turn now to these other two relationships. Be encouraged, by the way. Marriage is his main relationship. It's where he spends most of his time. It's where I've spent most of my time.
Shorter in his book, be shorter in mine, too. All right, lab two. Here we go: children. Children, obey your parents, Paul says, and the Lord, because this is right. And then he quotes the fifth commandment from the Old Testament, honor your father and mother, which is the first commandment, with a promise.
And that promise was that it would go well with you and that you may have a long life in the land. Family is a lab. Listen to this. where children Learn to obey God. by obeying their parents.
Paul's point here is not just the family. Paul's point is the laboratory that teaches you to obey God. You want to know how I know that? Because he ties this. to this.
So, the command to obey your parents is tied to the command to honor your father and mother.
Now, honor your father and mother is the fifth commandment, which means. The fifth commandment is right in the middle of the ten. That's just brilliant, right? You're like, how does he know this stuff? Yes, it's right in the middle of the tent, which means that there are four before it and five after it.
The first four commandments, watch, are all about your relationship with God. The last five commandments are all about your relationships with other people. Don't kill, don't steal, don't commit adultery. Right in the middle. Is this command to honor your father or mother?
Here's the question. Is it about your relationship with God or is it about your relationship with other humans? The answer is Yeah. It is about your relationship with another human who, for a while, stands in the place of God in your life. And by learning to obey and respect and submit to them, you actually learn to obey and respect and submit to him.
When we're young, our parents represent the authority of God to us. That means for those of you who are living with your parents at home, if you're not like over 18. How you submit to the authority of your mom and dad is how you submit to God. Let me just let that kind of sink in for just a minute. How you submit to the authority of your mom and dad is how you submit to God.
Parents' eyes, right here. Do not be looking at your teenager. This is not for you to play the Holy Spirit, okay? Just look right at me. Parents, listen, that's one of the reasons that we take discipline around my house so seriously.
Because, how they learn to respect me, how they learn to submit to me, is how they're going to learn to submit to their Heavenly Father. I don't demand that my kids respect me because I'm me or because it embarrasses me in front of my friends when they don't. I demand they respect me because of who I represent to them, and I try to teach them that. That ultimately, this is not about me and you, this is about you and Him, and I care more about your heart than I do your behavior. Parenting is a lab that teaches children to submit to God.
Which actually brings up a question. I get a lot about this commandment. They said, people said, well, what about when you're older? When you're older and you don't live with your parents anymore, do you still have to obey them? Because I mean, you know, the command doesn't seem to be addressed to just kids, it's addressed to everybody.
So when you're older, do you have to keep obeying your parents? And I know that we have parents in this church who try to control their adult children. We have at least, well we have several couples on the mission field. right now, whose parents forbid them from going after they were adults. And they quoted the command: well, honor your father and mother, you got to do what we say.
Well, see, that's where it really helps to understand that this command that is given as a way of teaching us to relate to God. Notice the command itself is not to obey, the command is to honor. Honor your father and mother. Because this is a way of relating to God. When you're a child, the way that you do that is by obeying.
Watch this when you're an adult the way that you honor your mom and dad is by obeying God Because your parents were given to you for a while to teach you to obey God. At some point in your life, the authority was supposed to shift from them to him.
So the way that you honor your mom and dad when you are an adult is by becoming the man or woman God created you to be and by obeying him. Which means, ironically enough, the best way for some of you to honor your mother and father is to deny their wishes when they're asking you to do something against God, because the point of parenting is to teach you to obey God. And once you're doing that, you have actually honored your mom and dad.
So it's all about honoring your mom and dad, and you are becoming what God wants you because it's ultimately about that.
Now, let me say this. There are still multiple ways that you and I continue to honor our moms and dads. by getting their advice on things. Your parents have a lot of years of experience on you. Nobody knows you more intimately.
Nobody cares about you more.
So, of course, you should seek their counsel. That's a way of honoring them, calling them sometimes. I've never had a parent look at me and say, my kid calls me too much. I'm too involved in their, well, actually, I've had them once, but usually that's not the case. Another way I honor them is to just say thank you to them.
Tim, thank you for the way that you represented God to me and what you communicated to me, taking care of them in their older age. You know, realizing that if they took care of you and got you out for the first 20 years, then of course, by honoring them, we want to take care of them as they grow old as well. That's honoring your father and your mother. On your parents' side, Paul turns to them and he says, What? Fathers.
Don't stir up anger in your children, but bring them up in the training and instructional board. All right, stop real quick. Do you notice? There is not a, maybe there's one. I have never found a single.
parenting instruction in the Bible. That's not addressed to the man. They're always addressing the man. And in our society, it's always who leads in discipline in the family. Mm.
Dads. Dads, the whole book of Proverbs is where you're going to find more parenting advice than anywhere else. It's written to a man, it's a dad talking to a son. You take the lead here, men. You take the lead here.
Bring up your children in the training and instruction of the Lord. What that is showing you is that ultimately the purpose of your discipline is not about controlling their behavior, it's about shaping their heart. Shaping their heart toward God, not controlling their behavior for you. And usually, when you're stirring up anger in them, that shows you that you've shifted from shaping of the heart to controlling the behavior, which is usually more about your convenience than their development. Because ultimately, I'm trying to shape their heart and not control their behavior.
There is a ton more I would love to say on this. I would love to dive into it, but I just don't have the space today. I would recommend a couple of books, if you're a parent, that you should read immediately if you have not read them. One is called Shepherding a Child's Heart by Ted Tripp. The other is called Gospel-Powered Parenting.
Me and some of our other pastors here, a couple years ago, we did a study with Lifeway. published a study called Ready to Launch. About parenting, and you could get that and do it in your small group if your small group's got kids in it. Just these things will kind of explore what we're talking about here.
So much more to say on that, but we gotta move. Here we go. Number three: work, work, third relationships, he points out. Servants, he says. Obey your earthly masters with fear and trembling, with a sincere heart.
As you would Christ.
Now, for the sake of these verses, I want you to, when you see the word servant and master, I want you to read that as employee and employ your relationship.
Some translations say slaves. But most translations don't use that because Paul is in no way here condoning what we in the Western world would think of when we say slavery. Paul makes very clear in other places in the New Testament the wickedness of that practice. Paul here is referring to a practice that we would think of like indentured servanthood. Which was typically a voluntary contract that didn't last for a lifetime that you chose to enter into that was not based on race.
Now, granted, it was not a great working situation because you literally would sell yourself to somebody, but this is in no way a commendation of the chattel slavery system that we think of when we use the word slave.
So for the sake of interpreting this and applying this, read those instructions as employees to employers and vice versa because that's really what Paul is talking about here. This is a Christian philosophy of work. which a lot of you have asked about. You're like, oh, well, what does the Bible teach about work? And I just never hear anything on it.
Yeah, because when you think of a Christian philosophy of work, you get these horrific images in your mind. And we've talked about them before, where you have a coffee shop called Jehovah Java, and then you're like, that's what it means. Or Hebrews. These are actual logos that I found. This is not made up.
Or my favorite, St. Arbucks, is that's how I'm going to have a Christian coffee shop. Or you open up a hair salon called His Clips or a Cut Above. On the internet the other day, I found a site that was giving 100 ways to be a witness at work. I thought, well, this is going to be pretty good.
So I look it up.
Some of them were decent. But a lot of them were like this, number 61. I kid you not. Put up a sign, if you own a store, put up a sign that says, ask us about our exchange policy. When customers ask, Let them know about your actual policy.
Then ask if they would like to hear about the greatest exchange policy on the planet, Jesus' righteousness for our sin. And you're like, that's good theology, but I just don't, I don't see, or this is number 60. When a customer has paid his bill in full, send them a receipt that says, paid in full, these are the same words the bloody Jesus spoke from the cross about your sin. And you're like, I'm just not sure I can get away with that in my job. Or do you remember me telling you about the um True story, 2004 American Airlines pilot who was fired, remember this?
Because he just got back from a mission trip and he's in the captain's deck or whatever, and he comes on the intercom before they take off and he says, Hey, folks, I just want to know how many of you in the plane here are born-again Christians. Raise your hand. And people kind of, you know, people, some people put up their hand. He said, for those of you who are not born-again Christians, I would strongly advise that you talk to one of these people about their lives. Goes on and tell them about the mission trip, how important Jesus is.
He says, I think this is a really important question because we don't anticipate any problems in the flight today, but you never know, you know? And you're like, I just don't think that I can get away with that at my job. And you're probably correct. You're probably correct. I admire these people's zeal, but what Paul is going to give you is a better way.
A better way to be a witness and put on Jesus on display at your workplace. Here's what he says: Christian philosophy of work. Obey your earthly masters with fear and trembling, with a sincere heart, like you would Christ. Not by way of eye service as people pleasers, but as servants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart, rendering service with a good will as to the Lord and not unto man. What I see in that is that Christ-like submission at work has at least three characteristics I see in there.
Characteristic number one, or letter A, a cheerful disposition toward obedience. Obey them like you would Christ. Notice it's not contingent on whether or not he or she is a good boss. Doesn't contingent on whether or not they reward you properly. You're like, my boss is a jerk.
Yeah, and God's going to give him what's coming to him one day. You ain't got to worry about that. But what you do is you look through your boss and you see that ultimately you're not serving this earthly master, you're serving that heavenly one.
So you're going to do your work in a way that Is glorifying to him, even if your boss doesn't treat you the right way, because you're not working for him, you're working for him. Right? Does it make sense? Not him or her, but him. Here's the second thing I see in it.
He says, not by way of eye service, means you've got a commitment to excellence. You're not just doing stuff so that you get approval or people when people see it. It means beyond what people see. C.S. Lewis had the best example for this.
He said, he said, you know, when explorers came to the new world, They discovered valleys that as far as they knew, no other human had ever laid eyes on before. He said, and in those valleys they would find some of the most exquisite, beautiful flowers nobody had ever seen. And C.S. Lewis's question was. Here you got thousands of years.
You've got flowers of exquisite beauty that no human eye ever sees. Are they wasted? Did God waste all his creativity and beauty on something that no human eye would ever see? And C.S. Lewis said, no.
Because for thousands of years when no human saw them, God still saw them. And God ultimately creates beauty for himself.
Well, see, Lewis then took that and applied it to work, and he said, That means that even when other people are not seeing the flower of my work. I still do it as a way of putting God on display because ultimately I'm not working for them. I'm working for him.
So I don't just do it when people can see it and affirm it. I do it for Jesus and I put him on display. Here's your third thing: he says, third way Christ-like submission to work shows up: an attitude of servanthood, rendering service with a goodwill. This may be the biggest distinction between how people in the world see work and how. We as believers see work.
People in the world see work as a means to an end. a way that you get money for yourself. And if you ever get enough money, then you stop working. That's the point. Work till you get money.
And then when I'm done, I'm done. Christians see instead that God created work as a way of serving our fellow man. God put us into a world of raw materials like a garden. And we take the raw materials of that garden and we create food out of it. We create things that bless and serve others, which means that making money for me is a side benefit of what I do.
It's a blessing God gives me, but I'm doing what I do, whether that's building houses, teaching children, preaching sermons, or adjudicating law cases. I'm doing all that as a way of serving somebody else. And he said, that's a disposition that you'll carry into work that will put Christ on display.
So, see, friends, once again, we see here that work is a laboratory like all of these relationships where you learn to serve like Jesus, lead like Jesus, put Jesus on sway for everybody to see, and it's the best way that you can be a witness to Him. All right, so listen, as Paul nears the end of the book of Ephesians, what he's trying to get the Ephesians to see is that in all their relationships, Even the most mundane ones. Ultimately, God's focus is on the vertical relationship, not the horizontal ones. In fact, if the vertical one is right, the horizontal ones will have peace. There's a lot of you that have disruption in your horizontal relationships.
If I were to pick three areas of your life that are out of control, it's your marriage, your family, and your work. What if the horizontal chaos was simply a result of the vertical disruption. What if you put so much weight on these relationships because you had so little richness in this relationship? The reason these people here are so big to you is because Jesus is so small. And instead of just giving you a band-aid on how to fix your marriage and fix your home and fix your workplace, what God is saying is there's actually something deeper and richer and better, and that is for you to get this relationship right.
Because when this relationship gets right, these relationships will just start taking care of themselves. Ultimately, it's not a horizontal relational problem you have. Ultimately, usually it is a vertical problem. And that's good news because God offers reconciliation. He offers these things if you will simply submit to him and do things his way.
If you're secure in Jesus, if you're focused on Jesus, if you are rich in Jesus, if you feel safe in Him. Then you become somebody that is able to be a good husband and to be a good father and to be a good worker. The reason some of you can't be any of those things is because this relationship here is damaged.
So let me just ask, let me just ask, is that why God brought you here today? Did God bring you here today? Because you've got all this chaos in these relationships, and he is calling you. He's saying it's a problem here. Marriage, family, and work are God's laboratories that he uses to make us more like himself.
So put on your lab coat right now and let's get to work. We are so thankful for the support of our Summit Life family each and every day. You are the ones who make this podcast possible, and we'd like to thank you. Don't forget to take a look at our featured resource for the month of May at jdpreer.com. Before you go, please rate, review, and subscribe to the Summit Life podcast.
Your review helps others find Pastor JD's Bible teaching and grow in the gospel wherever they're listening. We'll see you next time. Today's program was produced and sponsored by J.D. Greer Ministries.
