Let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith. When tough times begin, some wonder if their marriage came from somewhere far from heaven. Christians may think they married out of God's will when the struggles really mount. Today, we'll learn how God's will comes into play in our choice of marriage partners.
Stay with us. From the Moody Church in Chicago, this is Running to Win with Dr. Erwin Lutzer, whose clear teaching helps us make it across the finish line. Pastor Lutzer, does God have an ideal partner for every believer? Well Dave, on the surface, the answer of course is no, because it may not be God's will for everyone to marry. As a matter of fact, the Apostle Paul speaks about the bliss, so to speak, of singleness, in this sense that you can then devote yourself wholly to the Lord.
So it's not God's will that everyone marry, but if you look at your question from a different point of view, that really opens up a huge theological discussion, namely the providence of God, the way in which he works. Immediately, illustrations come to my mind, but I don't have time right now to give those illustrations except to say that some of those questions will be answered in this message that we're about to hear. I want to thank the many of you who support the ministry of Running to Win. You know, I think of you as partners, I think of you as family, and we hope that many others will consider becoming what we call endurance partners. Now you need some info and at the end of this message I'm going to be giving you that info, but for now let's listen.
Let's ask ourselves the question, how can we discern God's will and once the decision has been made on our part, how it becomes God's will? Well let's listen. We're so glad that you have joined us today as we continue this series on the topic of marriage, specifically the puzzle of marriage, the marriage puzzle, and it is a puzzle. And in this series of messages, we're trying to put some pieces together. Today's message is a little different, even though it is part of the series.
It's entitled The Puzzle of the Will of God. The reason I've decided to speak about that is because when you stop to think of it, there are many couples who wrestle with whether or not they should have been married at all. Have you ever noticed that there are some people who go from one destructive relationship to another? And if you begin to analyze why, there are many different reasons, but one question I have sometimes asked couples who haven't married well, they have married badly, shall we say, did you really seek God about your marriage and about your wedding? Oftentimes they say, no, we just simply assume that, you know, we are both Christians and it seemed reasonable. My friend, when it comes to momentous decisions and marriage certainly is the most momentous next to whether or not you'll be a Christian, when it comes to those kinds of decisions, it is not enough to say, well, yeah, we kind of did.
And today that's why we're talking about the will of God. Now, in some instances, it's very clear as to why the marriage didn't work out. I remember a young woman whom I shall call Ruth, who was involved with a man. She was warned, don't marry Dan because Dan had a host of problems.
She said, I've seen him at his worst and I can endure it. And so she negated all of the good advice that she was given. And we should not be surprised that they were divorced perhaps two or three months later. Many stories like that could be told, but I'm talking today about those who say, yeah, you know, we did ask God's blessing on our marriage. And yet in retrospect, you question whether they were really following God's lead. So today's message isn't so much a sermon as it is you and me sitting down for a cup of tea and I'm looking into your eyes and we're talking about the will of God. This message is directed to those of you who are not married, who think at some point you might be, or you're seeking God's will in any other aspect, your vocation, your education, all of that is going to be involved in the principles that I'm going to be giving you in a moment. Or maybe you are in a marriage and you say, what is God's will within this situation?
I hope that that becomes clear as well. You know, James 1 5 says that if any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God who giveth to all men liberally and it shall be given him. There's no way I could possibly count the number of times I claimed that verse. Sometimes I've been on the telephone.
People have asked me a question and I haven't known how to answer. And I just shoot up a prayer to God, James 1 5, Lord, give me wisdom because at this moment I don't have any. And sometimes after I pray that prayer, I wish that my conversation had been recorded because I come up with good stuff.
It's too bad that it's lost all attributed to the grace of God. So with that introduction, could we bow for prayer? Because I want you to ask for wisdom regarding the decisions that you make and that God would guide us.
Please join me. And so father, in these moments we ask, give us wisdom. Give me wisdom. I prepared this message, but Lord only you can direct me even as I give it. May it be a message filled with biblical wisdom. And for those Lord who are facing decisions about their future, whether it's marriage or other important choices, give them wisdom and help us to be able to accept how you direct us in Jesus name. Amen.
Before we get to the seven principles I want to share with you, let me just simply give you a free, a few I should say, and they are all free, but let me give you a few preliminaries. First of all, I don't think that God is reluctant to guide us. I really don't believe that God is in heaven saying, Oh, you sent your application to three schools.
You said whichever one you'd be accepted in, you'd go to that school and now you're accepted in all three. I dare you to choose the right one. God isn't playing games with us. He's not saying now, you know, I have a mate for you somewhere, but she's in Philadelphia and you're in Chicago.
I dare you to try to get together on this. That's not God. He delights to guide us. Romans chapter eight, for as many as are the sons of God, they are led by the spirit of God. I believe that God loves to lead us.
Second, I think it is very important to really understand that knowing God's will ultimately boils down to knowing God and the better you know God, the better you are going to understand leading and have the assurance of being led. See, there are many people who turn away from God and they do so for many different reasons. Many do because they think that God is only vengeance. Because they've sinned, they've messed up. They don't go back to God.
What a huge mistake. You have to understand that guilt and a mess is not God trying to push us away. They are God's means of trying to embrace us and invite us into a closer relationship. God never rejects someone who comes to him.
He is a welcoming God, thanks to Jesus. So you need to know that because we all mess up in one way or another. And then you also have to believe that God is good. Now, one of the reasons that people go their own way and we know that they do is because they do their own thing. Like one person said, Lord, the man I'm going to marry, I know he's an alcoholic, but I also know I can handle him. So you may be opposed to this, but I'll take care of it, Lord.
Why does a woman say that or a man? It's because at root we don't believe that God is good. We believe that if we really surrender to him, I mean seriously laid it out for God, we believe that he might do something that would really rob us of happiness and what is best for us. You need to believe my friend that God is good and there's no place better to be than in the middle of his will.
And if you're in a desert than to be in the land of plenty doing your own thing. So it's all about knowing God. And also it's important to realize that oftentimes God guides us in ways that are really not dramatic. And yet we look back and we say, now that was God. Someday I'd like to tell you the story of my life in many ways, very, very uneventful, uninteresting.
If it were written up in a biography, I think I'd have a hard time getting my kids to read it. And yet in other ways, absolutely filled, filled with Providence. I could tell you sitting in a high school classroom, refusing to fill out an application to go to a certain Bible school because contrary to all reason, I was going to go to another one. And how that decision impacted everything. I don't know that I would be living in America today. I certainly don't see how I could have been the pastor of Moody church if I had made the wrong choice. And at the time I had no idea that the choice I was making was that impactful.
Let me give you another example. Some of you know this first Sunday, Rebecca and I came to Moody church was 1977. I had been the pastor of a Baptist church north of here.
They had a farewell service the last Sunday of March of that year. First Sunday, we wake up without a church to go to. I want to go to a different church. Rebecca says, let's go to Moody church because I had come to know pastor Wiersby.
Don't tell people this, but God often leads me through my wife. All right, don't let that out. So we come here and parking is as tight as a drum. It is far worse than the parking situation is today. I drop her off.
We only have two children at the time. This is 1977. I drop her off and say, I'll meet you in the lobby. I have to find a parking space. As soon as they get out of the car right here on LaSalle street, I can go to the place.
Somebody pulls out. And I think, my, this is fortunate. And I back in, I go into the lobby. I find Rebecca, pastor Wiersby's walking past me with his overcoat on. I put my hand on his shoulder. He didn't see me. I saw him and I said, pastor Wiersby, where are you going? It's only 10 minutes before the morning service. He said, I'm sick.
I'm on my way home. Will you preach for me this morning? I preached at Moody church that morning.
Stood on this platform. Someday I'll tell you what I was thinking about when I was here. Whole steps of God's providence, just nothing but providence. And that became a link in a chain that eventually led me to become the pastor. Now was I conscious of God's leading when I was backing in there?
No, I was thinking, you know, this is my lucky day. I had no idea that behind it was God and many decisions that I've made have been that way. And you've made them that way too.
And God has led you. Well, folks, I think that's enough chit chat, isn't it? Don't you think it's time we get down to the seven principles? Not all of them might apply directly to you, but for many of you, I'm praying that this message will just be absolutely what you needed to hear.
Wouldn't that be great? And then now the seven principles, I'll give them to you quickly or as quickly as God wills that I give them to you. Number one, the will of God is more about being than doing. Character is more important than your vocation.
It is who you are. And once you take care of being, God will guide you in those matters that are unrevealed. It's the only verse I'm going to ask you to turn to today.
We'll look at it quickly. First Thessalonians chapter four. First Thessalonians chapter four. This message will be filled with scripture, but largely I will be quoting it since the verses come from various parts of the Bible. First Thessalonians chapter four, verse three. This is the will of God. Well, you come and say, pastor Luther, I don't know God's will. Well, aren't you ever lucky that you came to church today? If you believe in luck, this is the will of God. We finally found it. That namely your sanctification that you abstained from sexual immorality, that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, but in the passion of lust, like the Gentiles who do not know God.
Wow. Well, there's the will of God that you be morally pure. See, that's why it is that if you're sleeping with your girlfriend, you'll never be in a position where you'll know that you're being led by God. You won't know what to do. You're going to make a whole series of bad decisions.
You don't know whether to get married and you're going to have trouble making other decisions too. Why? Because you're disregarding the clear word of God. This is his will. David committed murder in adultery and he hung out for several months, not really willing to deal with it until Nathan, the prophet came to him. And then in Psalm 32, he says, Lord, he said, I confessed my sin. I was under all this pressure. My conscience was bothering me and I was trying to put it off. He said, I confessed my sin and my iniquity.
I didn't hide. And now you've forgiven me. And what does it say in verse eight? God says to him, I will instruct you and teach you in the way that you will go. I will guide you with my eye upon you. Sin is confessed. Guidance is back.
Guidance is back. You're living in sin. You have no idea. You can't hear God's voice. And then the next verse says, hey, don't be like the horse and the mule.
You know, they need bridles so that they stay close to you and don't run away. Don't be that kind of a Christian that God always has to have a bridle on or a hook to keep bringing you in. Be an obedient Christian.
Hear his voice. Now, this isn't the only passage in the Bible in the New Testament where it says, this is the will of God. There are others. When you begin to do the will of God in matters that have been revealed, God will begin to lead you in matters that are unrevealed, your vocation or your choice of a mate, et cetera. So first of all, the will of God is more about being than doing. Secondly, the will of God doesn't mean that our decisions are trouble-free, doesn't mean our decisions are trouble-free.
There's no use second guessing on this point. Jesus said to the disciples, get into a boat and go to the other side. And they were in the will of God. Don't you wish you'd hear Jesus that plainly? Dan, I notice you're sitting over here. Wouldn't that be wonderful if you heard the voice of God with that clarity?
Get in the boat and go to the other side. In the middle of doing the will of God, the biggest storm that they had ever encountered came upon them. Just because you are seeking God's will and you do God's will in relationship to a mate does not mean that your marriage is going to be conflict free. It's no guarantee that one of you may become unfaithful. It's no guarantee that you might run into a lot of problems and there's no use second guessing it at this point because blessed is he who swears to his own hurt and does not change. And the point is that keep in mind that the will of God is not trouble-free. Here's a couple that makes a decision to buy a house.
True story. They pray about it. They give it to God. God leads them. The money's provided for. After they move in, they discover that the value of the house falls. It's got more problems than they realized.
It is a money pit. And now they're beginning to say, were they led by God or weren't they? Well, didn't you give the decision to God? Didn't you submit it all to God and say, God, whatever your will is, that's what I want.
Yes, we did that. Who's to say then that you weren't led by God. Listen, there are lessons maybe that old rickety houses will teach you that nothing else will teach you. It doesn't mean that you're out of God's will. God's will is often really, really filled with trouble. Third, and this highlights it, the will of God supersedes our personal happiness. Mark that down. Write it in your Bible.
Don't forget it. It supersedes personal happiness. Matthew 26 39. Jesus said, my father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from me. Then those memorable words that we all know by memory, nevertheless, not as I will, but as thou wilt. Was Jesus in the will of God when he went to the cross?
The answer, of course, thankfully is yes. And what he said was, it is not my will, but yours. You willing to say that in relationship to marriage? Speak now to you singles. You're willing to say that in relationship to the mate that you're dating? Not my will, Lord, but your will, whatever it is that you want.
That's what I want. Are you willing to say that? You see, whenever there's trouble in our lives, the first thing we ask is where's the escape hatch? Where's a divorce lawyer?
How can I get out of this pain? Well, there's another question that we should try to ask, and that is how do I bring glory to God in the midst of my predicament? And the answer to those questions might not be the same. How do we bring glory to God in the midst of our need? Because it supersedes personal happiness. God isn't into saying, now, you know, I'm committed to your happiness. I remember a woman saying to me, I want out of this marriage because I can't believe God would want me to be unhappy. Lady, what if Jesus had said that in Gethsemane? I can't believe the father wants me to go through this pain. Let me go back to heaven and leave the world unredeemed. Now, the will of God is sometimes very difficult.
Rebecca and I know a couple that have worked as missionaries, and they had to send their children to a school far away. And those children missed their mommy and daddy so much, and before they left, their daughter, who perhaps, I don't know, maybe she was eight or 10 years old, she said, mommy, why does Jesus ask us to do such hard things? Sometimes Jesus asks us to do very hard things. So the will of God supersedes our personal happiness. It is God's will and not ours.
That is the big issue. Of course, as I like to emphasize, if you're in an abusive relationship, go for help. But at the same time, there are those who have difficulties in their marriage and they want out. God may want them indeed to stay in that marriage and to learn lessons that they might not be able to learn in any other way. I'm holding in my hands a letter from someone who's a Spanish listener.
Now, you must understand that running to win is in 50 different countries in seven different languages, and one of those languages is Spanish. And that's why I want to thank the many of you who support this ministry because it is going to millions of people. But this writer says, over the last two years, I was in an adulterous relationship. I'm still struggling with the emotional burden and the memories, but your programs have helped me see the consequences, but also have given me hope. Thank you for sharing these important messages that we often don't hear anywhere else. Now, you, my friend, are a part of this ministry. Many of you who perhaps have been listening for many years have never connected with us.
Would you consider becoming an endurance partner? That's someone who stands with us regularly with their prayers and their gifts. Of course, we want you to pray about this, but we also want to give you some info that you can pray about. So hope that you have a pen or pencil. This is what you do. Go to rtwoffer.com. When you're there, you click on the endurance partner button, rtwoffer.com, or call us at 1-888-218-9337. Thanks for your prayers and your gifts. You can write to us at Running to Win, 1635 North LaSalle Boulevard, Chicago, Illinois, 714. Running to Win is all about helping you find God's roadmap for your race of life. Next time, principles to use in determining God's will as you contemplate marriage or what to do about the marriage you're already in. Thanks for listening. For Pastor Erwin Lutzer, this is Dave McAllister. Running to Win is sponsored by the Moody Church.
