Children, God's Special Gift – Part 1 of 2

Let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith.

They call it the urge to merge. Marriage is where God blesses couples with children. The Bible calls children a heritage of the Lord and the fruit of the womb a reward. Today, the most important thing Christian parents can do for their precious kids.

Stay with us. From the Moody Church in Chicago, this is Running to Win with Dr. Erwin Lutzer, whose clear teaching helps us make it across the finish line. Pastor Lutzer, we all know that our children are the next generation, and how we raise them determines our country's future.

That's true, Dave, and the most dangerous time in a relay race is when the baton is passed. And we all have the responsibility of passing that baton on to the next generation. But you know, speaking about children, I'm thinking right now of one special child, the Lord Jesus Christ, born in Bethlehem. This is the last day we are making a special resource available for you, and I hope that it will be in your home by December 1. It's the first Songs of Christmas, a 31-day Advent devotional, and it's written by Nancy DeMoss Walgamuth. Now, what she will do in this devotional is she will bless your heart because she takes those first songs of Christmas—we're talking about Mary and Elizabeth and Simeon and the angels and so forth—and she blesses our hearts as she expounds them and applies them. And as a result of reading this, I can tell you that you will end up giving glory to God. As a matter of fact, speaking of children, would be a great book to read it to your children or grandchildren. For a gift of any amount, it can be yours. You go to rtwoffer.com or call us at 1-888-218-9337.

That's rtwoffer.com or you can call us at 1-888-218-9337. It's all about children, and it's all about one special child. I agree with George Barna, who said that ministry to children is the most important strategic ministry in God's kingdom.

It is so satisfying to me to know that Moody Church was birthed as a Sunday school and then morphed into a church. And still 150 years later, children are a priority, and our children's ministry is growing and continuing and very effective. How wonderful that is in an age when the needs are so great. But it's hard to be a child today. It's hard because the contemporary culture says that your value is dependent upon your appearance. If you're not attractive, you're basically worthless.

You know, these reality shows that emphasize beauty and two people not knowing each other, still able in a few moments to figure out whether or not they really connect. That not only is trash, it is destructive trash to our children. Again we live in an era where there are no values except that which you choose.

In our school systems, we have value clarification, which as I studied, I discovered that where kids end up is already determined by the curriculum. And I want to say a word about the next message that I'm going to preach in this series. I always thought that the destruction of the family was something that just happened because society fell apart. I didn't know that it was strategically planned by a Marxist philosopher who so influenced what we call today the radical left that all the attacks against the family were part of his agenda.

I'll tell you about him. For example, he believed that the families were so strong in Europe and the United States that the only way that Marxism can triumph is if the family be broken up. And so he plotted to destroy the family. One of the things he said is we have to get women, mothers out of the home and we need to tell them that they are victims. And when that happens, the children are going to be floundering. And this is very important because not until we destroy the family will the families finally be willing to accept big government that will take care of them.

I didn't know that it was so meticulously planned and I'll share that with you next time. Today's message is largely for parents, though if you are single, there's going to be some things in it also for you. And so I'm going to ask you as a parent, as a Christian parent, a question, what do you aim for in the lives of your children?

You say, well, I want them to be able to do well in school, be honest, excel, want them to stay out of drugs and sex and alcohol and to become good, honorable citizens so that they can be productive to society. Now, if you end there, if that's the end goal, you are not a Christian parent. Because the aims that I just outlined, those can be the very aims of Buddhists and Hindus and Muslims and even atheists who have a moral consciousness because God created them in his image. Did you know that out of atheism, no values whatever can arise?

None. Logically, it can be proved. But nonetheless, atheists, because they're created in God's image, they have a sense of rightness and wrongness and they could achieve the very goals that I've outlined. It's not Christian parenting. Christian parenting has to take things a step further and say that we are aiming for children who have been redeemed by the gospel, who love God with all of their hearts, and God has birthed within them the new life of Christ. And they love God not just because they have to or because rules are good, but their very motivation has been changed by the gospel. That's what we're aiming for as Christian parents.

Well, how do we get there? Very quickly, four or five principles that I think are going to be life-changing, especially as we move ahead in the message. And the only passage of Scripture I'm going to ask you to turn to today is really the 10th chapter of Mark. Jesus speaks about the importance of children in Matthew 18, but this is the only passage.

I'm going to be using others, but I'm just going to be quoting them and reminding you of what they say because we have much to cover. In Mark chapter 10, verse 13, it says, and they were bringing children to him that he might touch them. And the disciples rebuked them. But when Jesus saw it, he was indignant and said to them, let the children come to me and do not hinder them for to such belong the kingdom of God. Truly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like this child shall not enter it.

Don't you love this? And he took them into his arms and blessed them, laying his hands on them. What was the problem with the disciples? Jesus, they're just kids. Why are you bothering with kids? I mean, look at all of the adults who'd like to hear you teach. They might even be able to take notes, but children can't. The first thing that we have to convey to our children is this, that we love them. We value them.

But I agree with Chip Ingram. I heard a snatch of a message he preached recently in which he said that children are always asking two questions. How much do you love me and where are the boundaries? Because if you simply say you love your child and there are no boundaries or the boundaries are unclear, you say, well, I'm not going to get him mad at me.

He can do whatever he likes. He will grow up hating you. No matter how often you say, I love you, it'll be meaningless. Children say, if you love me, show me the boundaries.

And I'm putting the whole emphasis on love and boundaries and values together. Parents, you're the only one who can convey value to your child. In school, he or she may be ridiculed.

He's going to go through life. Life is tough and the child is asking, who am I? Am I worthy?

Am I significant? And you alone have the ability to convey that to him or to her. And you do it by giving them attention, by listening carefully.

I wish I'd have done that more as a father. I remember when one of our teenage girls was going through problems like teenagers have with boyfriends and all. I remember her lying on her bed in the room and I went and I lay on the floor and put a pillow under my head and listened for an hour. Just listen. She still refers to it.

And I think to myself, why didn't I do that more often? You connect with them, you remind them, you discuss with them what they're anticipating in school. You talk, you communicate, and you convey value, love, but you can't do it without boundaries. You know, as a parenthesis, do you realize what divorce does to children? Rebecca and I were in a restaurant one time and we overheard a conversation. We couldn't help but overhearing it in the next booth between a father who was dropping off a girl that was probably six years old and giving the child to the mother because the father had the child over the weekend. You know, God puts it into the heart of every little child to have a mommy and daddy and that mommy and daddy should love each other. Now, imagine what this little one goes through. She's to love mommy during the week. She's supposed to love daddy on the weekends, but mommy and daddy can't stand each other. In fact, they had an argument right there about money.

Now, of course, God is a redeeming God as we shall see, but you understand what happens? There are values that you as a parent can convey to your child that cannot be adequately conveyed by teachers and babysitters however well they may do. There's nothing like the power of a parent.

And if you connect with that child and you value them, your influence will be greater than the influence that they have in schools regarding drugs and all the other things that happens. It's you. You. Love. Boundaries.

Value. Secondly, children need someone whom they can emulate, a lifestyle that they can follow. It's an old story, but it is a true story. And by the way, the passage there is in First Corinthians where Paul says, I'm your father.

Follow me. It's an old story, but it's a true story about a man walking through the snow, going to the bar. He had to go there regularly because of his addiction to alcohol. And as he was walking through the snow, he looked back and there was his little son, perhaps four years old, trying to walk in his father's steps as best he could. And the man said, hey, what are you doing? He said, dad, I'm just trying to follow in your footsteps.

The man turned around and went home with tears in his eyes. Let me ask you some questions. You want children to honor God, don't you? Do they ever see you reading the Bible or praying? Do they ever see that? You want children who don't drink. Do you drink? You want children who tell the truth. Do you tell the truth or have the kids seen and heard you lie? Modeling.

Modeling. It's powerful. There's going to come a time in the life of your teenager when all that you say and all that you do will not be heard, but it will be your life even in the midst of struggle that will impact them. It's what they remember. We had family devotions all the time without fail in my home. But interestingly, the thing that I remember is when a hailstorm came and knocked out the crop. And in those days, my father didn't have insurance. And when it was over, I hope I can get through this story OK. Our parents said, let's get on our knees and thank God for all of his goodness.

That's what kids remember. A model of godliness in the midst of trial. Third, what kids really need is obedience to authority. The passage is Ephesians 6.

It's worthy of a sermon in itself. Children, obey your parents in the Lord for this is right. Honor your father and mother. You say, well, I can't honor my father and my mother because my father was abusive and maybe the mother was too. By the way, in a future sermon, I'm going to deal with the whole issue of abuse.

So you be patient. We'll talk about that. But for now, honor your father and your mother that it may go well with you. Children, obey your parents. You know, you've seen this. Let me give you a bit of advice.

First of all, have few rules, but be consistent with them, absolutely consistent. And just teach them obedience. You've seen it a thousand times.

We've all done it. Let's suppose little Peter is playing there with the blocks and you say, Peter, it's time to go. Does nothing, Peter. Peter, I said that we are to go. Do something with the blocks. Put them back in the box.

He plays. There's no need to go yet. Peter Joseph Hendrix, would you please put those, those blocks back in the box? Ah, when he hears his middle name, he knows it's time to go. Why doesn't that kind of obedience happen the first time you say it? It's your fault and it's mine. When the Bible says fathers don't exasperate your children and that's the rest of it, how do we exasperate our children?

Fathers, it's by overcorrection, overcorrection by yelling at them and always criticizing them, always finding some reason to find fault. The Bible warns against that. Should be a separate sermon. You say, well, should we ever use physical punishment? I say, absolutely.

When it's necessary, you apply the board of education to the seat of learning. My father had a razor strap. Now some of you don't even know what that is, but it was hanging at the back of the door. My older brother should have written over it.

I need the every hour. You know, we've so reacted against the world because the world has said, oh, that's child abuse. Of course it can be child abuse. That's done in anger. If you're hitting the child as such, but a proper spanking at a proper time with a proper reason and a proper ending where there's reconciliation afterwards, there's probably nothing quite like it to help the kid know where the boundaries are. Well, we must hurry on and there's a fourth principle, and that is that children must be taught both law and grace.

And in this section, I've been helped by a book I read this past week. It's entitled, Give Them Grace, and it's written by a woman and her daughter. Children's are Fitzpatrick and Thompson. Give them grace. Children need both. Let me talk about, first of all, the law. We have to give them the law. The Bible says in the book of Deuteronomy, we should teach them the law. So we teach them the Ten Commandments. We teach them the Sermon on the Mount. We teach them the book of Proverbs. We have good standards in the home.

We say, as long as you live here, these are the standard. These are the rules. You have basically two responses from children at that point. One is the good child, perhaps the compliant child, seldom the firstborn, the firstborn oftentimes competitive, and well, there's some other things I could say about firstborns. Being a lastborn, I can comment on firstborns.

I won't tell you the faults of a lastborn, but I've pretty well got them all. But you see, the compliant child says, OK, I'm going to do that. I'm going to excel. I'm going to get good grades.

I'm going to study hard. I'm going to stay away from drugs and all the other things that the kids are doing. I'm going to be the good child. I'm going to excel. I'm going to have a good job. I'm the model child.

That's one response. But then there's another kid in the home who said, you know, I can't live up to my older brothers and sisters and all of these high standards. I'll put up with this home until I'm old enough to leave home. And then what I'm going to do is I'm going to do my own thing and finally be away from mother and father, and especially if he hates his dad or his mother. He's going to say in his mind, I hate my dad, and I hate his God.

So I'm out of here. Two different responses from law. What is missing in that scenario? What's missing is the gospel and grace.

It's totally missing from the scenario. Let's talk about child number one for just a moment, the good child. He doesn't understand grace. He really doesn't see any need for it, really, because look at how well he's doing. He brings his report card home, and it's pretty well God's straight days. And he's on his way and people are looking at him and saying he's going to be successful. He need grace?

Not really. Well, you know, church and God, it's all nice if you're desperate, but he's not desperate. Child number two, an entirely different scenario.

Child number two, what does he need? He needs grace. Because, you see, the reason that he leaves home and does his own thing is because he figures he can't live up to this high standard that his parents have set out for him. He can't live up to this standard. And why should he even bother trying to live up to the standard when he can't do it?

And he can't do it. What he needs is the gospel. He needs grace. Because you see, the Bible says that Jesus Christ came on a rescue mission, died for our sins, and was raised again for this reason, for a number of reasons. But one is so that we could be forgiven and actually have the righteousness of Christ applied to us to make up for all of our deficits and all of our inabilities and all of our sins. And secondly, to change our hearts. If any man be in Christ, he is a new creation. Old things have passed away.

Behold, all things are becoming new. The first commandment says, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, with all thy mind, and with all thy soul. Can we wake up in the morning and keep that commandment?

Of course not. How can we even begin to keep that commandment unless we've been born again and God births within us? A supernatural love of God can't be done.

And what this boy needs, you see, he says in his mind after he's been in the far country, he says, you know, I've blown it so badly. God is probably so mad at me. There's no use coming back to God and being reconciled because I can't live up to it anyway. But what he needs to know is that that's why Jesus came. Of course we can't live up to it.

Of course He can't, and neither can you, and neither can I. But God receives sinners and gives them what they don't have. He gives them the gift of righteousness and acceptance before God, and then He also gives them a motivation to live differently, how many failures they may do along life's way, just like I've done and you've done. But this boy needs to know that he doesn't have to come to God and promise that he's going to live like his elder brother. He comes just as he is. There's a song we've sometimes sung, probably not sung it often enough, that says, the vilest of sinners who truly believes that moment from Jesus, a pardon receives.

He can come as He is with His weaknesses and sins, and He will be received by God because of grace. My friend, I want you to listen to me very carefully. I also hope that you have a pen or a pencil in your hand, because in a moment I'm going to be giving you some important contact info. What I want to do is to share with you that the good news that you have just heard me preach is possible because of the coming of Jesus Christ. Christmas is just around the corner, and we are making a special 31-day Advent devotional available for you. It's written by Nancy DeMoss Walgamuth. But the reason I stress it is because this is the last day we're making this resource available for you, and I want it to be in your home by December 1st. Here's what you do. For a gift of any amount, go to rtwoffer.com. Did you get that? rtwoffer.com or call us at 1-888-218-9337. Have your heart warmed even as you prepare for the Christmas season.

It's entitled, The First Songs of Christmas. You can write to us at Running to Win, 1635 North LaSalle Boulevard, Chicago, IL 60614. Running to Win is all about helping you find God's roadmap for your race of life. Children are a wonderful blessing, but they can be an immense challenge. Some kids are obedient and cooperative.

Others do their own thing, no matter what mom and dad say. Next time on Running to Win, navigating the uncertain waters of child rearing. This is Dave McAllister. Running to Win is sponsored by the Moody Church.