Family Conflict Part 2

Let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith.

We who run life's race should remember that God decides who rules His people here on earth, and His choices are based on character, not appearance. From the Moody Church in Chicago, this is Running to Win with Dr. Erwin Lutzer, whose clear teaching helps us make it across the finish line. Pastor Lutzer, God knew that David would have many periods of failure later in life, yet He picked him anyway. Well, if we ask the question, why David? We can remember the fact that he is a man after God's own heart. And of course, all of us have read the Psalms many times, as David is pouring out his heart to the Lord, so that despite his flaws, God chose to bless him. But I also have to say that when we begin to ask the larger question as to why David, we have to recognize the sovereignty of God. After all, it is He who chooses people. He puts them in positions of responsibility. And of course, David was a great king.

He was a great poet. And he ended up blessing millions and millions of people throughout the years and continues to bless us. I want you to know that this series of messages on the life of David, titled Growing Through Conflict, would you get on the phone and call some of your friends and encourage them to listen? Because I think it will be a tremendous blessing.

And would you consider becoming an endurance partner, someone who stands with us regularly with their prayers and their gifts? Of course, you need more info. Here's what you do.

Go to rtwoffer.com or call us at 1-888-218-9337. Of course, I'm going to be giving you that contact info again at the end of this message, so you listen carefully. 1 Samuel chapter 16, Samuel says, Are these all the children? Verse 11. And he said, Well, there remains yet the youngest. This is the first hint that we have that David is not among the blessed children. He's not among the blessed. David struggled because of this.

You'll notice it says he is the youngest. Behold, he is tending the sheep, Samuel said to Jesse, Send him and bring him, for we will not sit down until he comes here. So he sent and brought him in, and he was ruddy with a beautiful eyes and a handsome appearance, but apparently not very kingly. And the Lord said, Arise, anoint him. And Samuel took the oil and anointed him in the midst of his brothers. And the Spirit of God came mightily upon David from that day forward. And Samuel arose and went to Rhema.

And that's the story. Well, how does his family treat him now that he is blessed? Did you notice what the text says in verse 13? Samuel took the horn of oil and anointed him in the midst of his brothers. In the midst of his brothers. How did they accept the exaltation of their youngest brother?

Well, can you imagine, first of all, what that ceremony must have been like? Here is the runt of the family. Here is the one who is, as we shall see, really not well accepted by his brothers nor his father. And he's the one who is brought and he's the one who receives the honor. We can understand how he was treated several ways. First of all, he was sent back to herding the sheep.

Later on, he becomes Saul's armor bearer and he does some music for Saul because Saul was struggling with this demon and a few others, too, because of some issues in his heart that he's not willing to take care of. But David always runs from taking care of the sheep to Saul's court and back again because if there is going to be any kingly pronouncements, if there is going to be any kingly honor, he certainly is not going to experience it from his own family. If you want to know what his brothers thought of him, let's fast forward it to four years later and look at chapter 17, verse 28. This is, you know, the story of Goliath, as we shall be seeing in the next message. But David is running back and forth and he's taking care of the sheep and he says in verse 26, he says to the men who are standing by him, what will be done for the man who kills this Philistine and takes away the reproach from Israel? For who is this uncircumcised Philistine that he should taunt the armies of the living God? And the people answered him in accord with this word saying, thus it will be done for the man who kills him. Now notice, Eliab his oldest brother heard when he spoke to the men and Eliab's anger burned against David and he says, why have you come down and with whom have you left those few sheep in the wilderness? I know your insolence and the wickedness of your heart for you have come down in order to see the battle.

Only if you are somewhere later in the birth order in your family you know the power of an angry older brother and you know the hurt of these words and their pain. And David responds simply in verse 29 and says, what have I done now? Wasn't it just a question? You can see here Eliab's response to him. I want to venture to say that Eliab who now passes off the scene and we never hear from him again in all of scripture, that's the end, that's the end of Eliab. I venture to believe that Eliab faced a tremendously important decision that day that David was anointed by Samuel. He did one of two things. Either he decided to repent and submit to God and say, God you've rejected me from being king but that's fine. I'm willing to serve you in whatever capacity you want. All that I ask is that in my remaining days I be able to belong to you and that in itself is a great privilege.

Here I am. Do as seems good in your sight. He either did that or he died a bitter, angry, frustrated, unfulfilled, resentful man. He did one of those two. And it looks in chapter 17 as if it was the latter.

It was the latter. It's very difficult sometimes, very difficult for those who have not been broken by God to accept success in the lives of others, particularly among their own family. The family is sometimes the last to recognize that there is greatness in their midst.

The family is the last to recognize that someone has been honored or that someone is worthy of honor because the family oftentimes with its own securities, its own dysfunctional relationships, it finds itself unable to support those whom God is greatly blessing because of resentment and anger and the totem pole and all of the other things. And what these brothers wanted to do, I believe, is to see David's crown taken and crushed into the dirt once for all. But isn't it refreshing to look at verse 7?

And this, by the way, is our key text for this message. Chapter 16, verse 7. Do not look at his appearance or at the height of his stature because I have rejected him, for God sees not as man sees.

God sees not as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks upon the heart. And here's David, the unblessed child, the unblessed child. If you've read Gary Smalley's book The Blessing, you know that there are those within the family who sense that they are not blessed because they've never known the real warmth of unconditional acceptance. Marilyn Monroe, says Gary Smalley, was an unblessed child, shunted from one foster home to another. Only once did she ever accept and receive warmth and feel a part of the family, and that is when she walked into the room when the woman that she was with was using something on her cheeks, a puff of powder, and then playfully put some on Marilyn's cheeks when the little girl was about nine years old.

That was the only time she felt warmth and acceptance. And you understand what happened to her life because she didn't have the blessing of her parents. Here in the midst of this, God is saying a man looks on the outward appearance. Parents judge their children one way or another, but God looks upon the heart.

What I'd like to do now in the time that is still allotted me is to very briefly answer this question. Why David? Why David?

We can't give a full answer to it because God's selection process is sovereign. I believe that God worked in David's heart long before he was chosen even though he was anointed at the age of 15. God was already at work in David's heart preparing him to be king, but there was something about David that God loved. He says that David is a man after mine own heart, despite all of his faults. And as we shall see in this series of messages, they were many.

They were many. There was something about David. First of all, because he was a shepherd.

He was a shepherd. You can keep your finger in 1 Samuel chapter 16, but please turn to the Psalms, Psalm 78, where the Lord says this about David. Psalm 78 verse 70. It says he also chose David his servant and took him from the sheepfolds, from the care of the ewes with suckling lambs he brought him, to shepherd Jacob his people and Israel his inheritance. So he shepherded them according to the integrity of his heart and guided them with his skillful hands. There's a whole message wrapped up just in those verses, but notice what they teach. God says David, I can entrust sheep to you, and if I can entrust sheep to you, I can entrust my people to you. You know later on when David was talking to Saul, he said, you know Saul, one day I was out in the fields and a lion and a bear came and they were going to get the sheep and I took care of the lion and the bear and I protected the sheep. You know I read that passage and I think well you know David, sheep can't write out your resume. They don't tell stories.

You could have run and given a good excuse and nobody would have blamed you for that. You could have let the sheep go, but he risked his life for the sheep and God says look, in light of the fact that he has a shepherd's heart and a heart of integrity, because of that I gave him responsibility to shepherd my people Israel. Let's fast forward the video camera one more time a thousand years later. Another shepherd is born in Bethlehem. In Bethlehem, the city of David, Jesus Christ is there and Jesus is born and he is going to now become the chief shepherd and that shepherd is going to lay down his life for the sheep. God is partial towards shepherds and God was saying David the lessons that you learn there out in the fields taking care of the sheep are the lessons that are going to help you to become a shepherd, to become a king to all of my people.

So that soon the responsibility of shepherding is going to be expanded and then David would later write the Lord is my shepherd I shall not want. God chose him first of all because a shepherd's heart. Secondly, he had a serving heart.

He had a serving heart. You know you read the text of scripture and you discover that Saul of course used him as I mentioned as an armor bearer. Saul used him to come and to play in the palace and yet he was always back with the sheep. He sometimes took care of them and then would run back to the palace back and forth and later on when Saul was experiencing those demonic seizures, he came of course and played on the harp and what we will see as we look at David's life is this. It's going to be about 15 years or so until he becomes king and during those 15 years God is going to use Saul to grind him down, to wear him down. God is going to teach David what to do when somebody throws spears at you and if you've had somebody throw a spear at you I hope that you will hang in in this series of messages because we're going to be discussing that.

What happens when somebody so hates you because of antagonism and jealousy that they would like to kill you and try to do it? He gave it as many lessons as a result of that. Why did God put David through this crucible of experience for 15 years? It's because when David arose to become king, God did not want another Saul on the throne. You remember what the Lord says there in 1 Samuel 16 verse 7, do not look at his appearance or at the height of his stature. That was the problem when they chose Saul. Saul it says was taller than all of the other men. Again, appearance, judging him outwardly and you know of course that isn't it true that most of the presidents of the United States when the candidates run together usually the taller man wins. There's something that we have towards tall people who give a commanding presence and God says that was true of Saul but I don't want it to be true of David.

I want to take the last born, the last born. And so he had a serving heart. We also remember David though because he had a forgiven heart. I think that's the thing we remember most about him.

Oh, we'll have plenty of time to analyze what happened, his relationship with Bathsheba. David struggled a great deal with guilt. Not only did he give us Psalm 51 but he also gave us Psalm 32. Blessed is he whose transgression is forgiven and whose sin is covered. Blessed is the man unto whom the Lord impudeth not iniquity and in whose spirit there is no deceit. When I kept silent, my bones waxed old through their roaring all the day long.

My moisture is turned into the fever heat of summer but I acknowledged my iniquity to you. My sin I did not hide and thou forgavest me the iniquity of my sin. Had to live with the consequences. But at the end of the day, David loved passionately God. Many ways a troubled man. Years later in the Psalms, David is still saying, oh Lord, remember not the sins of my youth.

What in the world was this old man doing worrying about the sins of his youth? David was a man in process. He was a man in struggle. And it was this hole in his soul, this sense of unfulfillment that kept driving him to God, that kept pressing him toward the divine. You find somebody who is pursuing God at a hundred miles an hour and I will show you a person who is oftentimes in emotional flux and turmoil because their only hope is God. And that's David.

That's David. The Lord looks at the heart. The Lord looks at the heart. So my question to you today is, what does God see when he looks at your heart? Does he see deceit? Does he see all kinds of a whole lifestyle that is unknown to anyone? A secret lifestyle of sinning?

Is that what he sees? The other day someone was asking me about someone else as to whether or not I think that she is a Christian. And because we don't know, it reminded me of the fact that we'd love to just be able to pull everything away and to see the heart. Wouldn't that be wonderful if we would know where these people stand before God? But we don't.

We don't. But all things are naked and open unto the eyes of him with whom we have to do, namely God himself who sees the part that we protect, the part that we protect. We take so much care of the outward appearance that people see, but oftentimes the inner heart is neglected. David had a forgiven heart, a forgiven heart. And later on he would pray and say, oh God, search me and know my heart.

Try me and know my thoughts and see if there'd be any wicked way in me and lead me in the way everlasting. He knew what it was like to have God search his heart. Isn't it wonderful to see the contrast there in verse 7, if I may point it out one more time? Do you notice the difference between human evaluations and the evaluation that a human being might put on you and the evaluation that God might put on you? David had to learn that.

If you come from an abusive family and you have been abused like a friend of mine who says that my mother called me all kinds of names and predicted that I would fail and when I succeed she wanted to tear me down to make sure that I would fail. You think of his mother's evaluation of him and then you think of God's evaluation of him. God does not see as man sees. God looks upon the heart and it is entirely different and that's why David gave us Psalm 27 verse 10 where he says, my father and my mother forsake me. That's how he felt in relationship to his family, but the Lord will take me up.

The Lord will take me up. I say to you today if you come from a broken home, from a family that disowned you and misused you, take a leaf from David. We don't know that he experienced that, but he did know what it was like to be rejected by mother and father and brothers and in that rejection to find his soul driven, driven toward God. Man looks on the outward appearance.

We do it all the time. We're constantly judging people, constantly processing people whom we meet and making our own judgments, but God sees the heart and in the book of Proverbs it says, as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he. Jesus said it is from within the heart of man that precedes evil thoughts, adultery, fornication, thefts, covetousness. All of that comes from the heart. Little wonder, David prayed, create in me a clean heart, oh God, because that's the part that matters most to the almighty. And so the Lord says, David, I choose you because you have a shepherd's heart, you have a serving heart, and later on after you sin greatly, you will be forgiven greatly and you will also have a worshiping heart because God has an entirely different evaluation of us than we do of ourselves and that others have of us.

So I conclude, what is the state of your heart, the state of your heart? Are you willing to allow Christ to come into every closet, make him Lord of this closet and that closet and give up the key to this closet and make Christ Lord of the heart? Let's pray together. Our Father, we want to thank you today for your faithfulness and we ask that in these moments you will help us to examine our hearts, even as David prayed, search me, oh God, and know my heart. We know that you know it, but in these moments, Father, reveal to us what you see, reveal to us what you see. Just spend a moment in quiet prayer asking God to show you. Father, we do ask that your Holy Spirit, who takes the word of God, might use it in our hearts to bring us, Lord, to the point of saying, Father, show me what you see and help me to deal with it. We ask in Christ's name. Amen. This is Pastor Luther. May I have a personal word with you? What's the state of your heart today? Would you invite the blessed Holy Spirit of God to search your heart and then show you what he sees?

We all need to come to that point. And the reason that God blessed David is that he was willing to have the Spirit of God show him his need and then depend upon God for forgiveness, for restoration, and the ability to move forward. I have in my hand a letter from someone who listens to the Ministry of Running to Win in South Africa. I want to emphasize that this ministry does indeed go around the world. This person writes, I used to think that God is going to answer everything that I've prayed for, but as time went by, not everything was fulfilled. Your program has taught me a lot and deepened my understanding of God. I love that phrase, deepened my understanding of God. Would you consider helping us becoming an endurance partner?

In doing that, you are contributing to many people, thousands upon thousands, to deepen their understanding of God. Here's how you can find out information. Go to RTWOffer.com.

That's RTWOffer.com. And when you're there, click on the endurance partner button. Now perhaps you've not had an opportunity to get a pencil or a pen, so I'm going to be giving you this info again. You can of course also call us at 1-888-218-9337. As you consider helping us, remember you are making an investment in the lives of people. It's all about people.

It's all about the transformation of their lives, and as this dear brother put it from Africa, deepening their understanding of God. Consider helping us. Here's what you do. Go to RTWOffer.com. Of course, RTWOffer is all one word. When you're there, click on the endurance partner button.

Check out the info. Or if you prefer, you can call us at 1-888-218-9337. Even as I am here in Chicago speaking, I have in my mind a vast audience of people who are going to be continuing to help us in the ministry of Running to Win, to use the phrase one more time to help people deepen their understanding of God.

You can write to us at Running to Win, 1635 North LaSalle Boulevard, Chicago, IL 60614. You've just heard Dr. Erwin Lutzer concluding Family Conflict, the first message in a series on growing through conflict, a journey through the life of King David. Next time, David faces a bad guy named Goliath. Join us for Conflict with a Giant. This is Dave McAllister. Next time, Small Stones, A Big Giant, and How One Boy's Trust in God Routed a Philistine Army. Running to Win is sponsored by the Moody Church.