Getting Prayer Right Part 2

Let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith. In a parable of Jesus, we learn how eager God the Father is to answer the cries of His children.

Ask and it will be given to you. Seek and you will find, He said. Today, more inspiring lessons on prayer, a subject that for some is a mystery.

Stay with us. From the Moody Church in Chicago, this is Running to Win with Dr. Erwin Lutzer, whose clear teaching helps us make it across the finish line. Pastor Lutzer, it's a shame how many of us would rather complain than simply obey God's commands to ask and seek. You know, Dave, years ago I learned something, that prayer isn't simply coming to God with a list of requests, take care of this, bless my children, give us health, give us strength, give us safety.

Prayer may lead to that, but seeking God takes time. And I think that what that means is that we sit in His presence, we adore Him, we worship Him, and we come before Him with great needs. And even if those needs aren't met, He meets us. He Himself meets us. I want to thank the many of you who support the ministry of Running to Win, and we're in the middle of a matching gift campaign. What that means is whatever you give, it will be doubled. What an opportunity.

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RTWOffer.com or call us at 1-888-218-9337. First of all, you notice that Jesus goes from friendship to sonship. If a friend is willing to give you some bread at midnight, what about a son and a father? The father's willing to give him good gifts.

Then what about your Heavenly Father? Because you are sons and daughters, and that's a game changer. It changes the relationship instantly. It is now a relational idea. It's not just, God, I'm coming to you because I want you to do this. It is, oh Father, I love you and I love to be with you. I hope that God forgives us as grandparents for the lies that we tell about our grandchildren.

I think he will. Let's take, for example, if I were vacuuming and, and by the way, I often do the vacuuming in our home. I thought I'd just mention that and let that float out there and let it land wherever it's supposed to land, all right? Let's suppose I'm vacuuming and little Samuel is there, perhaps at the age of three, though he's much older now, or Owen when they're three, and say, would you help Papa vacuum?

They call me Papa. Oh yeah, sure. So after they help Papa vacuum, I say to Rebecca, oh little Owen, he really helped Papa vacuum today.

Helped? Are you kidding? I mean, it took 15 minutes longer because he was helping me vacuum. Why do we put up with that? It's because we love our children and our grandchildren and we're just delighted to see them, even if they make more work for us, we're just delighted that they show up. My friend, as a son and daughter of God, God is glad if you just show up. He loves you. He cares about you. He wants to connect with you. And if all of your praying is need-based, I shouldn't say this, but I'll say it and then afterwards have to backtrack probably, need-based prayer meetings are boring. Let me just throw that out there. That's why some of you have been connected with Moody Church for years and you've never come to a Wednesday night prayer meeting here because you think it's going to be boring.

Boy, do we have a surprise for you. Because it isn't all just need-based, it's relationship-based. I was speaking to a very fine institution some time ago and they had a prayer list and a young woman, God bless her, she was the one who was doing the praying and she was given this prayer list and she stood up there and said, dear God, and then she read the list and it sounded like an organ recital. I mean, we prayed for people who were having gallbladder surgery. We prayed for people who had lung problems. We prayed for people who had kidney difficulties. I mean, every organ of the body we ended up praying for. I shouldn't think such thoughts.

No, I shouldn't. But in that moment, I thought, young lady, why read these requests to God? Why don't you just say, God, here are the requests. You can read them better than I can.

Just take care of them. Because there was no relationship established. It was need-based praying. I love what Larry Crabb says. He says, prayer is the way in which we make room in our souls for God that he loves to fill. To clean out the rubbish I pile into my inner world so that he can fill me with his reality. It helps me realize that to experience God, I must experience him in the way that I relate to others. I must behave toward others with the divine energy and wisdom he's putting within me and I relate to God the same way.

Could I make a suggestion to you? Instead of coming to God with needs, change your mindset. The needs will come, but they're not the first purpose of prayer. Sit in a chair and just simply in silence come to God without any means. All that you have is communion with him.

Tell him why you love him. Quote verses of scripture that remind you of his promises and his love for you. Just enjoy God. You are a son.

You're a daughter. And God loves it when you show up, just the two of you. That's why I love that song that we usually find difficulty finding the words to. My God and I, we walk the fields together. We walk and talk as good friends should and do. We clasp our hands, our voices ring with laughter.

My God and I, we walk the meadows through. Learn to develop your relationship with God. Jesus moved from friendship to sonship, intimacy by which we call and cry out, Abba, Father.

You know what? I think that's the meaning of that promise that we have so much difficulty with. Delight yourself in the Lord and he'll give thee the desires of thine heart.

And we say it's not true. If you take delight in God, he will pour into you desires, yes, and you're going to have to submit to those desires and they may not be your desires, but at the end of the day you receive the desires of your heart, but you delight in God. So I think the contrast here is between friendship and sonship.

There's a second contrast and that is between reluctance, reluctance and willingness. You know, the man who's in bed says, I can't get up. Well, Jesus said, no, he didn't say that. He eventually, of course, did get up and disturbed his children and all, but I wouldn't be very happy if you came to me at midnight for three loaves of bread. I would do it because after all, I'm the pastor of the church and you might tell others that Pastor Lutzer refused to give me three loaves of bread that he had.

Well you know, this wouldn't be my happiest moment. Now notice, Jesus is contrasting the reluctance of the man to get out of bed with God. How much more will your heavenly Father? If a friend is willing to get out of bed, if a son asks for a fish and receives a fish and asks for an egg and gets one, how much more will your Father bless you? You say, but Pastor Lutzer, this is very difficult because why then does he not answer all of my prayers?

Isn't that huge? Think of the bitter people that there are because God didn't answer their prayers. I don't have an answer to all that. Long ago I have given up on understanding all the nuances of God's ways, but I do know this, that God doesn't answer our prayers immediately because he does say persistence is important. Ask and it will be given you. Seek and you will find. Keep knocking.

That's the idea in the text. And what God is saying is, I want to stretch your faith. I want to develop your faith. I want to give you lots of needs so you end up coming to me and realize that you need me more than you need answers to your needs. George MacDonald, I love this. He was asked, you know, if God knows all the needs we have, why doesn't he just meet them?

And he gave this illustration. He said, when a child runs away from home, he said, the child comes back because he's hungry. In fact, I did that at about the age of five or six. I decided I was going to run away from home, argument with brothers and sisters, and I could get along on my own. So I ran through the wheat fields and you know what? I got hungry and thought, you know, maybe home isn't that bad.

So I snuck back. But George MacDonald says that that child needs to realize that he needs his mother even more than he does his supper. And the prodigal son was hungry. Now, if the prodigal could have prayed to his father, if we think of the father as being God, and saying, oh God, fill my stomach. Fill my stomach because I'm hungry. I'm tired here eating with the pigs. Would the father have done it?

No, no, no, no. The father would say, I'm not going to fill your stomach. What I want you to do is to realize that that hunger is a reminder.

Would you come home, please, and realize that you need me more than you need a full stomach? Again, if I might quote Larry Crabb, he says, if you try to get things from God without first praying to get more of God himself, your petitions will sound more like the rantings of a spoiled brat than requests of a dependent child. If the transition, the understanding, and the contrast is between friendship and sonship, it teaches us to delight in God. If the contrast is also between reluctance and willingness, it teaches us to trust God.

I don't always know why God says no. There's no doubt that there are people who pray with good motives for the advance of the gospel and for the amazing extension of God's kingdom and they don't get their answers. All that I know is the words of Job, though he slay me, yet will I trust him. I'll trust him when I get answers to prayer. I'll trust him when I don't get answers to prayer because let me say it again, my friend, if you are only need-based, if that's all, you will become bitter.

You will become angry. But if we find delight in God, we'd say, God, I can delight in you. I can take hope in you.

I can trust in you through the word of God even when you say no. Blessed are those who love God and his presence that much. There is now a third and final contrast that I see in this passage, and that is the contrast between good things and the best things. Good things and the best things. Notice Jesus said in verse 13, if you are evil, and by that he means, you know, you're a sinner, he doesn't mean evil with a capital E when we speak of someone as being evil, and you give good gifts to your children, how much more will the Heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him?

Wow. God says it's important for you to get bread. I understand that, but I have something better for you than bread, and that is the gift of the Spirit. Furthermore, it's the kind of gift that only God can give. You know, you couldn't go to a friend at midnight, knock on the door and say, you know, I want you to give me the Holy Spirit.

You can't do that. He can give you three loaves of bread, but he can't give you the Holy Spirit. Only God can give those kinds of gifts, and those are the best gifts. Some people have struggled and they've said, well, you know, we don't have to receive the Holy Spirit or pray for it because all believers are indwelt by the Spirit, and that is correct. Maybe what Jesus means is this, that we receive the Spirit's fullness, we receive more of the Spirit. God loves, God loves to fill us with his Spirit, and we come into his presence and during those times of communion, we have fellowship with him. He reveals our sin and our need to yield, but at the end of the day, he's responding to these requests, and he gives us the best gifts.

I tell you today that your greatest need is not financial, and that's not to at all downplay the needs that some of you have, and we want to help you if we can meet those needs, but the greatest isn't for health. Our greatest need is always for a fresh appreciation and communion with God, and he gives us the best gifts, the gifts of the Holy Spirit. Some of you are here today and you need the gift of forgiveness, don't you? It's hard for you to admit it to yourself because you may have come here with defense mechanisms and reasons why you do not want to receive Christ as Savior. I pray that God will break through those defenses and you'll realize, yes, what I need is God's forgiveness.

What I need is the gift of righteousness that only God can give, and he gives these best gifts, and he promises us the best gifts if we but ask of him. The contrast is between good gifts and the very best gifts, and then we're content with his answer, and we're not going to abandon God because he didn't answer our prayers because we have found a delight in him that is so strong that means so much to us that we hang on to that and take delight in it, even when the world goes bad and a child drowns, and we go through times of sorrow and agony and all kinds of unanswered questions, but at the end of the day, there is God for us saying, please show up. He loves you, and that's what prayer is all about. It's called relational praying. I began this message by talking about some people who look at prayer like an oxygen mask only for crises, and you hope no crises will come because you don't want that mask dropping on you because the flight has gone bad. I want you rather than to think of such a thing as prayer as an oxygen mask. Instead, realize that for those of us who are believers, it actually is oxygen. Can't live without it. Can't get a day past a day without it. Remember that only desperate people pray, so God keeps us desperate all the time.

Why? He says keep coming, keep asking, keep knocking, keep seeking me, and build a relationship with me that is strong enough to weather the unanswered questions of life. If you've never received Christ as Savior, you can even do that where you are seated. Just ask Him to save you. Ask Him for the gift of righteousness. Ask Him for the gift of forgiveness.

If you, being evil, are able to do these things for your kids, think of what God will do to those who simply ask. And if you will, let us pray. Father, we think today of the words of Jesus. Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness.

All these things will be added unto you. Forgive us, Father, for concentrating on all these things and forgetting to seek God. Now, I want you to pray to God. Say to Him whatever you need to tell Him at this moment. You talk to God.

What do you need? What bitterness do you have to confess to lay it at His feet and begin a life that pursues the living God? Hear our prayer, O Lord, we pray in Jesus' name.

Amen. Years ago when I was reading the Psalms over and over again, I found that phrase, seek the Lord. And you and I need to do that in this world of confusion, in this world when we don't know where to turn. It's not simply a matter of making requests. It is seeking God Himself. Seeking Him is more important than usually the many requests that we ask Him of. Have you been blessed as a result of this series of messages? And of course, there are more messages on this topic to follow.

If you'd like to have them permanently so that they can become a part of your library, share them with your friends over and over again, here's what you do. Go to RTWOffer.com. For a gift of any amount, this series can be yours.

It's entitled, You Can't Redo Life, How the Parables Help Us Get It Right the First Time. You can go to RTWOffer.com or call us at 1-888-218-9337. And I want to thank you in advance for helping us here at the ministry, because as you have frequently heard me say, together we are making a difference.

Go to RTWOffer.com or call us at 1-888-218-9337. For a gift of any amount, these messages can be yours. You Can't Redo Life, How the Parables Help Us Get It Right the First Time. It's time now for you to ask Pastor Lutzer a question about the Bible or the Christian life. Finding a husband is a major concern for many women who are sometimes tempted to take second best.

Here's the story of one anonymous Running to Win listener. I'm in love with a man who has no permanent job, but has had various jobs in the past. He still lives with his parents. They're a Christian family, but they live like spoiled teenagers.

Their house is filled with clutter. When we do things together, all the initiative and work comes from me. I do the shopping, prepare the food. I wash the dishes.

I even clean their house when I'm there. My boyfriend seems to be quite lazy. If I ask him to help, he will help for a moment, but that's it.

Any other such comments I make are met with questions like, why are you always complaining? Pastor Lutzer, do people like this ever change? My dear today, if you were my daughter, I would tell you to throw that fish back into the lake.

That's the first thing that comes into my mind. Don't ever think that someone is going to change after you marry them. What you see today is what you get. Sometime here at the Moody Church, I preached a series of messages on marriage and began with a message on red flags.

Because I was at Bible conferences, I asked people to tell me their stories of red flags they missed before marriage. Seems to me that you have enough flags to have your own parade, because I don't think this family is going to change. I don't think this man is going to change. Now that's been very negative, but let me give you one or two positive comments. If this man actually had a good job and showed a transformation of his heart toward diligence, and if he proved himself over a period of time, then I might be willing to give him a pass. But the way in which you've described this does not look good to me. Yes, people sometimes change, but A, they never change because they make a promise to because of marriage. B, the change is often very, very slow, so you can't depend on any quick change of character in this regard. And C, oftentimes it takes a tremendous amount of prodding, tremendous amount of work.

Seems to me that it would be better for you to simply move on in a relationship. This is not going anywhere that is very happy, very satisfying, and very fulfilling. Some wise counsel from Dr. Erwin Lutzer. Thank you, Pastor Lutzer. If you'd like to hear your question answered, go to our website at rtwoffer.com and click on Ask Pastor Lutzer, or call us at 1-888-218-9337. That's 1-888-218-9337.

You can write to us at Running to Win, 1635 North LaSalle Boulevard, Chicago, IL 60614. When someone wrongs you, you may react with a resentment that can lead to a wellspring of bitterness in your soul. That's why Jesus spoke on the need for us to forgive. Next time on Running to Win, a famous parable outlines the key principles on dealing with wrongs we've done and wrongs others have done to us. Don't miss a lesson on getting forgiveness right. Thanks for listening. For Dr. Erwin Lutzer, this is Dave McAllister. Running to Win is sponsored by the Moody Church.