Sexual Freedom: The Poisoned Oasis Part 2

Let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith.

God designed sex for a covenant marriage relationship, not for a succession of one-night stands. Today, the allure of sexual affairs which poison our souls and undermine our ability to make commitments. If you're trapped in this sin, stay with us.

From the Moody Church in Chicago, this is Running to Win with Dr. Erwin Lutzer, whose clear teaching helps us make it across the finish line. Pastor Lutzer, you've talked about the consequences of this snare, promiscuity, addiction and guilt. Is it possible that guilt eventually fades, leaving people stuck in their sins? Absolutely, and that's why there are many people who are involved in immorality who really have deadened their conscience. They no longer think that they are doing wrong. They've justified it in their mind.

This has become a part of their lifestyle, but it's to their detriment. Sexual immorality promises like a god, but it pays like a devil. I've written a book entitled Seven Snares of the Enemy, Breaking Free from the Devil's Grip. It includes the messages in this series.

For a gift of any amount, it can be yours. Here's what you do. Go to RTWOffer.com.

That's RTWOffer.com or call us at 1-888-218-9337. Now let us go to the pulpit of Moody Church and listen to a message that is absolutely critical for today's generation. Let's open God's Word and find out what he has to say. And then, of course, we could just talk right now about sexual addiction, couldn't we? I shall not, except to give a single quote. Someone says regarding sex addicts, they use sex like a drug not to consummate loving relationships, but rather to drown the pain of feeling empty inside a dark shameful well of sexual oblivion.

It's the blinding absorption of sin. That's what the problem is. And by the way, you know that young 16-year-old I told you about whose tears fell onto her her lap? I met her several months later and she was in another relationship. See, she couldn't go back to that first relationship.

That was impossible. But now she's going to begin to seek over here and seek over there and seek over there and she's absolutely convinced that somewhere, someplace, with someone, her deep need for appreciation and love will be fulfilled. And you and I know in advance that the answer is it never will be in those relationships. Let me give you another consequence and that is guilt. Guilt. Oh, many people deny it. They say, well, we don't feel guilty.

We've come to terms. We've come to manage our guilt. I was reading this past week some people who are formerly married and, you know, they experience temptations that are sometimes more overwhelming than the younger generation, the formerly married. And within the Christian context, there were all kinds of comments written out as to what they said. And one woman said, sometimes I feel so despondent after having been out, having a good time in companionship and sexuality that I feel I will rather die than live with this torn apart feeling. Another said, I felt I had to prove my sexuality, but one part of me says it's right, it's beautiful, it's fulfilling. But then there's another part of me that says this is wrong for a Christian.

Well, folks, enough of this. Could I just ask you now, do you understand why we have so many problems in our marriages? Here, young people who say to themselves, well, you know, we can be immoral and then God will forgive us. I mean, if the blood of Christ can't forgive us for this, what's the blood of Christ all about anyway? And so they're involved in relationships and of course the blood of Christ does forgive them, thankfully, as we shall explain.

But they bring to the marriage oftentimes all these alien bonds that have never been seriously dealt with and as a result they find it hard now to commit themselves to one person because you see the parameters have been invaded in their life and therefore it's very difficult for them to find their sexual commitment and their equilibrium. I'll tell you that in this business, this temptation which is so powerful and all of us have experienced it, my how we have to watch, don't we? Because we want to believe all those lies out there. We convince ourselves they're right. I think there's a lesson we can learn from an animal in northern Europe called an ermine.

I think that's the right pronunciation. It's about the size of a weasel as I understand and it has a very, very white coat and it is absolutely committed to keeping that coat clean at all costs. Hunters take cruel advantage of this animal. What they do is they find its hole which is oftentimes in a hollow tree, the base of a hollow tree. They find its hole and then they smear it with grease or some refuse. They put some dirt in it and they leave it there and then they chase their dogs and this little animal goes scampering and wants to scamper into his hole but he sees it's dirty and he doesn't go in and the dogs come and the animal dies.

The little animal is really saying is I would rather die than get this coat dirty. I pray that God will raise up generations of people even in this world with all of its temptations who say I would rather die than get myself dirty. Now of course the question is what is the way out, isn't it? I speak to those of you who may be in relationships that are very hurtful but you've invested a great deal in those relationships. I speak to those of you who perhaps have experienced all of these bonds and you say how can we be free from their impact and from their power to destabilize my sexual equilibrium? You know I do believe that there is such a thing actually as what shall we call it spiritual virginity because there are many people you see with these experiences in their past and yet they have come to God, they have dealt with them, they have put these things behind them and God in his grace is able to give them a very, very wholesome relationship as the past is genuinely put behind them. And I want to tell you today that there is more grace in God's heart than there is sin in your past. Maybe we can do no better but to look here at the 1 Corinthians chapter 6 where the Apostle Paul writes this letter and now I pick it up actually at verse 9. Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither the sexually immoral nor the idolaters nor the adulterers nor the male prostitutes or homosexual offenders nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. By the way, are you deceived?

Could it be? Pulses don't be deceived. However we interpret the inheriting of the kingdom, it's something very, very serious. Paul says I just want you to understand that people who practice these things, they're not going to get there. You think of all the people who've talked themselves into the fact that what they're doing isn't that bad. But now notice he says, verse 11, and that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the spirit of our God. He says that's in your past.

That's what some of you experienced but you're not that anymore. Now let's look at the words that the Apostle Paul uses and he's looking at it actually from the experience of people. He's not talking about it from God's standpoint because from his standpoint justification comes first.

But he's talking about the way in which we view it. He says first of all you are washed. You're washed. I say to those of you today with a polluted conscience, do you know the delight of being washed? A few years ago I gave an invitation here at the church and a number of people came forward and we prayed with them later which is something really we should do more often though we have prayer partners here every Sunday. But there was a young woman present who later wrote me a letter, a marvelous letter.

Some people have written me letters that I just need to keep because they've said it so well. She said in effect, she said I carried a heavy sin on my heart. Now she's talking as a Christian remember. She said I carried a heavy sin on my heart for eight years. She had lied to a man about being pregnant when she wasn't so that he would marry him and then they were married and then she committed infidelity and so forth and got involved in all of these kinds of situations. But she says my marriage crumbled because of my infidelity and so she said I decided that no one would ever know about my past and even the man to whom I lied, she said, I determined that I would take the lie to my grave and he would never know the truth.

But she said I took a shower in that room, she's speaking of the counseling room, and was clean. She said I had weighed so much I felt if I stood on a scale it would register my extra weight and she said when I left I felt as if I weighed half as much as I used to because she made that sin right with God and also with that other man. I say to those of you today who wonder can God wash me the answer is yes come now let us reason together says the Lord though your sins be as scarlet they can be as white as snow though they be red like crimson they shall be as wool. Paul says to these people who are involved in all these different kinds of sins you were washed you were sanctified you were set apart by God because you belong to him you see and now you are special to him and then he says you've been justified you have been declared righteous by God legally righteous just as righteous as God himself is and that's why you have actually within your self within God's help I should say the power you see to leave that sinful lifestyle behind you really do. Many of you remember when we had a lady here who had been a lesbian and she and a friend of hers actually explained her testimony this was in an evening service very very eye-opening and very helpful to all of us but I remember she said the idea of leaving my lesbianism behind she said when that even crossed my mind it was equivalent to someone telling me to move a building it would be like somebody saying move this church just pick it up and move it it was an impossible thought but within time and with counsel of God's people step by step she is free today she is free today. You see because she accepted Christ as her savior and and she was washed she was sanctified and justified by God a new creature in Christ and really whether you believe it or not she no longer owed that lifestyle anything she didn't owe it. A number of years ago a woman stopped me here in the lobby and said you know I'm living with a man and I feel very very guilty and we're not getting along very well and she said things are just going terrible between us I said well why don't you move out of the apartment and she said well I'd love to do that but she said I own it and I said well that does create a problem of another sort I said why don't you take this guy and help him to find the door and then lock it behind him and say adios or whatever it is that you say she said well it's not that simple because he won't leave and he's a lot bigger than I am. I said to her you know what you need to do because he has no right to be there you know that I said you need to go to the police you have to get an order of protection which is exactly what she did and she locked him out of the house and she barred the door and he went on his way.

Now the question is how does a 115 pound woman tell a 200 pound man to beat it? She does it because the law you see is on her side and in all of these relationships with all of their temptations and all of our addictions and sins the law is really on our side God says it is because of what I have done you are washed accept that washing you've been sanctified you've been justified accept it. A Lutheran minister used to tell seminarians that it would be very very good if they always wore their clerical collar because he said the temptation that you would have to fall into sexual sin will be lessened if that collar and that garb reminds you of who you really are.

Now I don't wear clerical garb but the man did have a very good point didn't he? If you remember who you are in Christ if you remember your redemption if you remember all that Jesus did to buy you out from the slavery of sin if you remember that you see there is indeed a way out you'll find I really don't need to serve sin anymore. That's why it says in Romans 6 14 for sin shall not be master over you because you're not under a law you're under grace sin no longer needs master you.

So what do we have to do first of all my friend you have to believe that God is able to deliver that's number one to actually believe that provision is made for deliverance. Second we need to understand that repentance on this matter is urgent it's urgent it's not something that you should put off and I'm speaking now to Christians but notice what the Apostle Paul says in verse 15 we read it a moment ago do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute oh may it never be never imagine it. I speak to those of you who have rationalized what you are doing and you've come to terms of it and you've learned to manage your guilt and you said for me this is the way and there's no way out I speak to you for just a moment maybe you've got all of the rationalizations in place but I want you to understand that sexual sin grieves God. If you're a Christian Christ is in you so he has to be there to watch what's going on and you bring a holy Christ into an unholy relationship an unholy bed if you please. Notice what the Apostle Paul says in verse 18 flee from sexual immorality all other sins a man commits are outside his body but he who sins sexually sins against his own body do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you whom you have received from God you are not your own you were bought with a price therefore honor God with your body the body that you are misusing is the body that God purchased and it is the temple the inner shrine the sanctuary of the Holy Spirit. He uses the word that is really the word for holy of holies the temple though no longer exists in Jerusalem it has been moved into the human heart and the Shekinah glory and the glory of God and the power of God and all those things that we fear as we read the Old Testament and think about their awesomeness they now reside in the heart of all believers so Paul is saying to us please understand that these things must flee because God is grieved he's grieved we think for example of how often we have grieved God Joseph said the same thing you remember when he was giving a rationale Potiphar's wife was trying to seduce him and so forth and and he said how can I do this great wickedness and sin against God we might be able to do it in such a way that Potiphar's husband never finds out that's a possibility but God finds out let me give you a third suggestion and that is that you must really do believe that there's help in the Christian community we've learned during the series on addictions and the snares that the devil would like to put upon us we've learned that sometimes we can't get ourselves out of the pit we simply do not have the strength to do that and furthermore if it is true that it is shame and secrecy which is the place where all of these things grow and this is where they are are completely nourished and flourish it is then that it is when we bring these things to someone who's able to help that we find a grace and forgiveness and help at time of need I think for example of David it's a familiar story isn't it but David you remember committed the twin sins of murder and adultery and even if we say that the adultery was a sin of passion the sin of murder was really premeditated over a period of time David tried to hide his sin nobody has gone to greater lengths to hide his sin than David interestingly David today is famous for his sin everybody knows about it you go to the corner of state in Madison and you ask about David they may not know much about him they may not know when he lived but everybody knows his story with Bathsheba he did a lousy job trying to cover it up didn't he but finally after perhaps nearly a year as he was trying to cover this and trying to give excuses and explanations and keep people at arm's length because of things lest they find out when the prophet Nathan came to him you remember and said thou art the man David confessed his sins now he confessed his sins even though the consequences were beyond him some of you feel that way don't you you say but what about the consequences we can't go back and we can't pick up all those pieces of snow that we've trampled into the mud can we no you can't David couldn't all the tears in the world could never bring back the purity of Bathsheba all the weeping in all the repentance could never make Uriah the dead man come back to life and yet even in the midst of that mess David found forgiveness cleansing and even joy he said in Psalm 32 day and night your hand was heavy upon me he's talking about how guilty he felt and how how threatened he felt as he needed to protect that area of his life he says my moisture is turned into the fever heat of summer he says it's as if I'm just always always on edge filled with anxiety and then he says I confessed my iniquity to you and my sin I did not hide and the next verse talks about the joy that God poured into his soul and you remember Psalm 51 which actually comes historically before Psalm 32 he says have mercy upon me oh God according to thy loving kindness according on to the multitude of thy tender mercies blot out my transgressions wash me thoroughly from mine iniquity cleanse me from my sin for I acknowledge my transgressions unto thee my sin have I not hid and he goes on to ask God to restore the joy of his salvation and God did that God did that my dear friend I want you to know that there are snares out there that you and I can fall into oh that those of us who have not fallen into that would be kept from it my soul be on thy guard ten thousand foes arise a host of sins are pressing hard to draw thee from the skies and we know what that's about don't we but for those of you who have fallen there is restoration there is forgiveness there is the breaking of those ties there is a a spiritual virginity whereby you genuinely do begin again you begin again and that is what some of you were Paul says but you are washed you are sanctified you are justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the spirit of our God and I say to you today claim that claim that no matter the personal cost well this is Pastor Lutzer and my friend today if this message did not apply directly to you I'm sure that you know people who need to hear it possibly your own children or grandchildren or relatives I've written a book entitled seven snares of the enemy breaking free from the devil's grip it includes all the material that you have heard in this series I think that it is one of the most critical books for today's generation for a gift of any amount it can be yours here's what you do go to RTW offer dot com that's RTW offer dot com or you can call us at 1-888-218-9337 ask for the book entitled seven snares of the enemy breaking free from the devil's grip and even as you connect with us I hope that you continue to pray for this ministry running to win is actually heard in more than 20 different countries of the world it is heard in the Spanish language in Arabic but it's because of people like you who stand with us who join hands with us and I like to speak of it as joining the running to win family so thanks in advance for helping us but in return for your help you can receive seven snares of the enemy breaking free from the devil's grip a book that I believe will be a tremendous blessing and help in this time of great need go to RTW offer dot com or call us at 1-888-218-9337 let me give you that phone number again 1-888-218-9337 and remember to accompany your phone call with prayers on our behalf you can write to us at running to win 1635 North LaSalle Boulevard Chicago Illinois 60614 the commercial once said you only go around once in life grab all the gusto you can this of course is a lie next time on running to win a challenge to a pleasure mad culture that's infecting the church a challenge to reach for the real pleasures God offers don't miss pleasure life on empty running to win is all about helping you understand God's roadmap for your race of life for Dr. Erwin Lutzer this is Dave McAllister running to win is sponsored by the Moody Church