Choosing Companionship Over Loneliness – Part 1

Hey, podcast listeners! Thanks for streaming today's podcast, From Pathway to Victory. Pathway to Victory is a nonprofit ministry featuring the Bible teaching of Dr. Robert Jeffress. Our mission is to pierce the darkness with the light of God's word through the most effective media available, like this podcast. To support Pathway to Victory, go to ptv.org slash donate or follow the link in our show notes.

Now, here's today's podcast, From Pathway to Victory. I want to suggest to you today that loneliness is a choice. We can say, I don't need anybody else, I'm sufficient on my own, or we can come to the conclusion that we do need other people. Today, we're going to talk about the very biblical choice of choosing companionship over loneliness.

Welcome to Pathway to Victory with author and pastor, Dr. Robert Jeffress. The latest statistics reveal that planet Earth is home to nearly 7.8 billion people. Yet even with the largest population in human history, more people than ever report feeling lonely.

So why has loneliness reached epidemic proportions? Today on Pathway to Victory, Dr. Robert Jeffress shares the biblical solution to loneliness. Now, here's our Bible teacher to introduce today's message.

Dr. Jeffress. Thanks, David, and welcome again to Pathway to Victory. For a moment, I want you to imagine yourself participating in a worship service while sailing the Mediterranean Sea or walking down the streets of Ephesus, just as the Apostle Paul did 2,000 years ago. Well, I want you to experience these moments and more on the upcoming Journeys of Paul Mediterranean Cruise.

The dates are May 5th through 16th, 2025. Please join us for this vacation with a purpose. I guarantee this amazing Journeys of Paul Cruise will impact your life on every level. You'll return home spiritually, emotionally, and physically refreshed.

So take a moment to see the wonderful itinerary and reserve your spot by going to ptv.org. This series, Change Your Life, has inspired a whole new perspective on their challenges. You see, none of us gets to pick and choose the hard things that come our way. We can't control unwanted surprises, like a financial crisis or when someone we love is diagnosed with a disease.

The only thing we can control is our attitude. In this teaching series and in my practical book that coincides with it, I share with you 11 ways to choose a winning attitude. My book is called Choose Your Attitudes, Change Your Life. And today, when you give a generous gift to support the ministry of Pathway to Victory, I'll make sure you receive a copy.

I'll say more about my book and other resources later in today's program. But right now, let's turn our attention to the subject at hand. I titled our final message in this series, Choosing Companionship Over Loneliness. Years ago, there was a popular ballad that was played endlessly on the radio. Some of you may remember it. It was titled Alone Again Naturally.

In fact, you can still hear it on some of the oldies stations that play it. It's a ballad about a young man who, over a period of time, loses those who are closest to him, either through death or defection of affection. And at the end of every chorus, there is that sad refrain, Alone Again Naturally. You know, unfortunately, loneliness seems to be the norm for most people today. The late evangelist Billy Graham said he believed more people suffer from loneliness than any other malady. Author Paul Tournay called loneliness the emotion of our age. Psychologists tell us that there are really two kinds of loneliness. There is a loneliness of distance. That is when we're geographically separated from people we love.

We all understand that loneliness of distance. But psychologists also talk about the loneliness of spirit. It's that feeling of isolation that we can feel even when we're in a crowded room, or in a marriage, or even in a church. A loneliness of distance, but also a loneliness of spirit. Now, when we think of loneliness, we think of one of those two things. We think of loneliness as a state of being. I'm lonely because I feel isolated from others, or I'm separated from others. But loneliness is not just a state of being. I want to suggest to you today that loneliness is a choice of how we go through life. We can say, I don't need anybody else, I'm sufficient on my own. Or we can come to the conclusion that we do need other people. You know, in our series, Choose Your Attitudes, Change Your Life, we've said that an attitude is our response to the circumstances of life. You can't choose your circumstances, you can't always change your circumstances, but you can choose your response to those circumstances. One of the choices we have to make in life is, how are we going to go through the inevitable joys as well as sorrows of life? Are we going to go through those experiences isolated, alone? Or are we going to choose to have others with us?

Today, we're going to talk about the very biblical choice of choosing companionship over loneliness. You know, I think about an elderly man in a previous church. He was diagnosed with cancer. He was told that the best possibility for him to live would be to travel to another state, to a well-known clinic, to go through a very dangerous procedure.

He was warned that the procedure might leave him handicapped or he might take his life. But he decided not to tell any of his surviving family members. He was a widow or what was going on in his life. He didn't tell his friends. Instead, one day he just packed his bags, closed down his home without telling a soul, not knowing if he would ever return again. This operation was successful, and when his friends and family members found out what he had done, they said, why didn't you tell us? He said, well, I just didn't want to be a burden to other people.

That sounds heroic, magnanimous. I doubt that was the real reason. The fact is there are reasons that people choose to be lonely. One reason is a poor self-image.

There are people who think, well, why should I try to reach out to other people? Why would anybody be interested in me? I'm not attractive. I'm not gifted. I'm not funny.

I'm not witty. Nobody would want to be around me, and they don't want to experience rejection. So we feel like we're not worthy to reach out, and we don't want to risk being rejected, and yet I want you to think about the most meaningful relationships in your life, whether it's with your maid or friends.

That relationship probably started with your being willing to take a risk, to reach out to that other person. What's the cure for a poor self-image? The Bible says there are two truths we need to grasp to help us see ourselves as God sees us. Number one, to see ourselves from God's perspective, realizing that through Christ we are people of value. In Ephesians 2, verse 10, the apostle Paul said, for we are God's workmanship.

That word is poema in Greek, poem. You are God's poem, created in Christ Jesus for good works. Everything about you, your personality, your looks, your gifts, all are the result of God's work. Secondly, to cure a poor self-image, understand that we are the recipients of God's interest and friendship.

Think about this. The most important person in the universe, God himself, wants to be your friend. He wants a relationship with you. And as a demonstration of his desire for that relationship, he was willing to pay the ultimate price. Jesus said in John 15, 13, greater love has no one than this, that he would lay down his life for his friends.

Well, guess what? God was willing to lay down his life for you, when in the form of Jesus Christ, he suffered on that cross. We are the recipients of God's interest and friendship. Now, a second reason people choose loneliness is really on the opposite end of the spectrum.

It's because of pride. They don't think they need other people. We saw last time, when we talked about choosing humility over pride, that one of the byproducts of pride is independence, the feeling that we don't need other people. Paul tried to correct that misconception in the Corinthian Christians.

Some of them felt like they had all the spiritual gifts and they didn't need anybody else. In 1 Corinthians 12, beginning with verse 20, Paul compared the church to the human body. Many parts to it and all are necessary.

He says in verse 20, but now there are many members, many parts, but one body. And the eye cannot say to the hand, I have no need of you. Or again, the head to the foot, I have no need of you. On the contrary, it is much truer that the parts of the body which seem to be weaker are necessary. The fact is we all need one another.

None of us is sufficient in and of ourselves. Remember the story about the two porcupines that were huddling together in the frozen tundra region of northern Canada? They were freezing to death. They were huddled together.

Why? They needed one another even though they needled one another. It's true for us as well. A third cause that people choose loneliness is an inability to accept other people's faults. An inability to accept other people's faults. When I was growing up, our family used to go together to the movies on Friday night, many Friday nights. My mom and dad, my brother and sister and I, and we would all sit together in the theater except my younger brother, Tim. He was so irritated by the munching sound of our popcorn or the slurping of our drinks or the unwrapping of candy wrappers. It just bothered him and so he would go and sit by himself way down at the front just so he didn't have to go through the irritation. Now, the upside to that was he didn't have to listen to those annoying sounds.

The downside was he paid the price of isolation. And many of us are that way. Other people just bug us to death so we say, I'm not going to get close to anybody. Well, we need to remember what Paul said in Romans 3.23, all of us have sinned.

We've all fallen short of the glory of God and we've fallen short in the expectations that other people have of us as well. Fourth reason some people choose to be lonely is really selfishness. Have you ever heard people say, well, I'm just too busy for any relationships right now. I've just got so many things going on in my life, I really don't have time for friends. Busyness is a euphemism for selfish.

I'm so caught up in my own world that I really don't feel like I can spend time with other people. You know, selflessness is a price we pay for friendship. In their book, Friends and Friendship, authors Jerry and Mary White state that one test of selflessness is what you would be willing to do for a friend. Would you be willing to set aside a personal interest to help them? Would you be willing to cancel a vacation in order to meet a need that they had? Would you be willing to give money to them even if you had little to give? Would you be willing to expend a significant amount of time praying for them if they had a crisis?

Would you be willing to accept their children either temporarily or even permanently if there was a need? When we think we're too busy or have too much going on in our lives to help somebody else and to be a friend, we need to remember the ultimate example of selflessness. It's found in Philippians 2 verses 3 and 4. Paul said, Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind let each one of you regard another as more important than himself.

Don't merely look out for your own personal interest but also for the interest of others. A fifth reason for loneliness is an unwillingness to forgive other people. Friendships can be painful at times. We can all recall times when a friend disappointed us.

Unfortunately, some people never recover from those disappointments. They have this attitude, Well, look, I had a friend one time and he or she betrayed me. They talked behind my back. They divulged a confidence. They cheated me out of some money and I'm never going to get burned again.

And so their unwillingness to forgive causes them to go through life alone. A number of years ago, I received a letter one day from a friend and a church member. It was unusual that he would write me a letter so I was kind of anxious to see what it was and I opened the letter.

Three pages, typed, single-spaced. And in this letter, my friend basically listed everything he didn't like about me. And I'll never forget the concluding line, I hope you won't take this personally.

Personally, not only did I take it personally, I swore right then I would never talk to that guy again. Imagine having the gall to write me, a man of God, such a letter, I couldn't believe it. But you know, after a few days, the words of Matthew chapter 5 verses 23 and 24 came back to me.

Remember what Jesus said? If you're presenting your gift at the altar and you remember your brother has something against you, leave your sacrifice at the altar and go be reconciled to your brother. And so I swallowed my pride, I went to see this guy, said, what in the world is going on? He admitted he was having a bad day. Said he was sorry and a choice friendship was salvaged. We have to be willing to forgive if we're going to maintain friendships. You know, Proverbs 17, 17 says, a friend loves at all times. All times includes when your friend is having a bad day. We have to be willing to forgive. Finally, some people choose loneliness because of a failure to understand the value of companionship.

They don't understand how valuable it is. Years ago, I had one of the longest weeks of my life, literally. I was preaching a revival in Alaska, in Anchorage, Alaska. And it was the time of the year when it seemed like it stayed light for 23 hours of the 24 hours of the day. I mean, it was just light all the time. I couldn't go to sleep and if that weren't enough, the church I was preaching at had put me up in the home of one of their members.

Never make that mistake again. But I stood there and it was really a very nice couple, very elderly couple, but they were very, very nice. But there was just absolutely nothing to do. I mean, I had my one hour of church at night and one television, nothing to read.

And I was just, you know, walking around that house. But one day, they were gone someplace and I was going through their magazines and I found a copy of a magazine called Modern Maturity. Anybody ever read Modern Maturity? It's a magazine for old people. It's just an old people's magazine.

So I was flipping, I knew I'd hit rock bottom when there I was in my 20s reading Modern Maturity. But I found an article in there that really did pique my interest. I tore it out of the magazine.

I don't think I ever told them that. But I tore it out of the magazine, brought it back with me. The title of the magazine article was You May Live Longer If You're Sociable. I thought that's an interesting title. I thought I'd read it.

Now listen to what it says. In one of the most comprehensive studies of older adults ever taken in the United States, more than 1,700 couples were followed. Researchers have determined that participation in formal social networks, that is church or community groups, is even a more important predictor of mortality than one's health. Richard Hessler, Ph.D., said, regardless of health problems, people who had formal social networks were more likely to remain independent and survive. In his landmark study of the physical and social changes in the aging process, the professor found that the four most important factors that determined whether a person lived or died were age, sex, health, and formal social networks, with the latter being the foremost. Think of that, of the factors that determine how long you live, age, sex, health, and being a part of a social network, the last is the most important.

That's what God's Word says. As we're going to see in just a moment, though, longevity of life is not the only benefit of companionship. God has designed companionship as a way to ensure our emotional and spiritual fulfillment in life. What are the advantages of companionship that most people miss? Turn over to Ecclesiastes, chapter 4.

Ecclesiastes, chapter 4. You know, Solomon had it all, money, wealth, power, but one thing he lacked was companionship. You say, lack companionship?

What about those 700 wives and 300 concubines? Isn't that enough to keep him busy? Well, that provided something, but not what he needed most. Not companionship.

Listen to what he says in Ecclesiastes 4, 7, and 8. Then I looked again at vanity under the sun. There was a certain man without a dependent, having neither son nor brother, yet there was no end to all of his labor.

Indeed, his eyes were not satisfied with riches, and he never even asked. And for whom am I laboring or depriving myself of pleasure? This is vanity. To work all your life, to go through life without anybody to share it with, that is meaningless. And then in verse 9, he offers that well-known verse, two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor.

Why are two better than one? Why do you need to go through the life in companionship rather than alone? Solomon illustrates four reasons, four values of companionship. First of all, he says companionship offers us assistance in times of crisis.

Look at verse 10. For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one who falls when there's not another to lift him up. There's an old Swedish proverb that says shared joy is a double joy. Shared sorrow is half a sorrow.

And that's what Solomon is saying here. Imagine two people walking along together. If one stumbles, the other one is there to lift him up, to keep him from stumbling.

Rarely do two people stumble at the same time. And it's the same way with going through life. When you're going through life with a companion or a group of friends, if you fall into temptation, if you fall into despair or to depression, chances are the other person isn't going through that at the same time.

They're able to lift you up. And that's why we need to go through life in the companionship of other people. Not only that, secondly, companionship offers support when we feel alone.

Look at verse 11. Furthermore, if two lie down together, they keep warm. But how can one be warm alone? He's not talking about body temperature here. What he's talking about is those cold times of life that you experience. All of us experience them.

Maybe the move to a new city or the beginning of a new job or the death of a loved one. During those cold moments of life, you need a companion to provide warmth. And one of the most beautiful passages of all of the Bible, Ruth 1.16, Ruth said to Naomi, do not entreat me to leave you or to keep me from following after you. For where you go, I will go. Your people shall be my people.

Your God, my God. Ruth knew she needed the warmth of her mother-in-law. We all need other people for those cold times in life.

In my lifetime, I've never witnessed a season like the one we're embroiled in today. Though we own smartphones and laptops and we have access to our friends through these devices at any hour of the day, even still, we're the loneliest generation of all time. God has wired us for companionship, and I want to help you learn the key to choosing companionship over loneliness. It's one of the 11 studies I address in my book called Choose Your Attitudes, Change Your Life. In my book, I'll come alongside you and explain 11 different ways to reframe your perspective on life, even when circumstances appear to be out of your control.

Please, before it's too late, make sure that a copy is sent to your home. In my book, I'll help you discover practical steps to make your circumstances work for you, not against you. And we'll explore issues like anxiety, discontentment, bitterness, laziness, aimlessness, and more, learning to change these attitudes through the power of the Holy Spirit. A copy of my book, Choose Your Attitudes, Change Your Life, is my gift to you when you give a generous gift to support the ministry of Pathway to Victory.

In closing, let me share a personal word with you. Your partnership has never been more important to me. While we work hard behind the scenes to assemble these daily visits for you, I can't do so without your generous support. We're partners in this mission to bring light and life to a world that's dark and hopeless. So, thanks for stepping forward to give today.

David? Thanks, Dr. Jeffress. Today, when you give a generous gift to support the ministry of Pathway to Victory, be sure to let us know you'd like a copy of Choose Your Attitudes, Change Your Life, by Dr. Robert Jeffress. Request your copy of the book by calling 866-999-2965, or online go to ptv.org. And when you give a gift of $75 or more, you'll not only receive the book, but also our current teaching series on CD and DVD, along with a group or individual study guide.

The series, by the way, is also called Choose Your Attitudes, Change Your Life. Again, call 866-999-2965, or online go to ptv.org. You could write to us if you'd like, P.O. Box 223-609, Dallas, Texas, 75222.

That's P.O. Box 223-609, Dallas, Texas, 75222. I'm David J. Mullins, wishing you a great weekend. Then join us again next week for Part 2 of the message, Choosing Companionship Over Loneliness. That's right here on Pathway to Victory. Pathway to Victory with Dr. Robert Jeffress comes from the pulpit of the First Baptist Church of Dallas, Texas. You made it to the end of today's podcast from Pathway to Victory, and we're so glad you're here. Pathway to Victory relies on the generosity of loyal listeners like you to make this podcast possible. One of the most impactful ways you can give is by becoming a Pathway Partner. Your monthly gift will empower Pathway to Victory to share the gospel of Jesus Christ and help others become rooted more firmly in His Word. To become a Pathway Partner, go to ptv.org slash donate or follow the link in our show notes. We hope you've been blessed by today's podcast from Pathway to Victory.