Finding the Perfect Mate

Hi, I'm Robert Jeffress, and I'm glad to serve as your Bible teacher every day on this great radio station. On today's edition of Pathway to Victory.

Let me say this clearly. There is nothing in the Bible that prohibits people from different races marrying one another. The Bible says nothing about that. What is in view here is not race, it's faith. You're not to marry somebody of a different faith.

And we've got to understand that is God's point of view, not our own. Welcome to Pathway to Victory with author and pastor, Dr. Robert Jeffress. You know, of all the major decisions we have to make in life, choosing who to marry, well, that's one of the biggest.

So what are the factors that should play into a decision of this magnitude? Today on Pathway to Victory, Dr. Robert Jeffress draws helpful principles from the story of Isaac and Rebecca for choosing a mate. Now here's our Bible teacher to introduce today's message. Dr. Jeffress. Thanks, David.

And welcome again to Pathway to Victory. Those of you who are parents of young adult children or perhaps their grandparents know the nerve wracking process of choosing a mate. Even in an era when online matchmaking seems to be the norm, we spend a lot of time praying that our kids will use spiritual discernment in selecting their life partner. Today, I want to help parents, grandparents and certainly young couples become familiar with biblical wisdom on finding the perfect mate.

These guidelines will help validate whether the natural sparks that fly are authentic or not. Greatfully, these instructions come right out of the Bible, right in the middle of our story about Abraham. And this wisdom has been tested over countless generations. This is one of the many topics I address in my book I've written for you. Like this new teaching series, my book is also called Walking by Faith. And this is one of the very last times we'll offer a copy because tomorrow is the final message in my new teaching series and it's the deadline for requesting my book, Walking by Faith. A copy of the book is yours when you give a generous gift to support Pathway to Victory. You can do that right now by going to ptv.org or by calling our toll free number or simply by writing a letter. We'll give you all of our contact information just after my message today.

Now it's time to get started with this highly practical study in Genesis chapter 24. I titled today's message, Finding the Perfect Mate. I saw a bumper sticker one time that said, help lower the divorce rate, stay single.

You know that would be funnier if it weren't true. I'm sure you're aware of the latest divorce statistics. Last year 44% of marriages ended in divorce. And what is really troubling is that that statistic, the rate of divorce, is hardly any different at all among professing Christians. Christians divorce at the same rate as non-Christians do.

Why is that? I think one reason certainly is there are a lot of Christians who don't know what the Bible says about divorce and remarriage. They don't know that the Bible says only in the case of desertion or adultery is somebody free to divorce and remarry.

That's one reason. But I think another reason is many Christians are ignorant about what the Bible says about how to select the best, God's choice for your mate. And that's what brings us to Genesis chapter 24. Today in our continuing study of the life of Abraham, we've come to a chapter that describes how Abraham found a bride for his son Isaac.

If you have your Bibles, turn to Genesis 24. You're going to learn today four practical principles for finding a wife. Now I know some of you aren't in the market right now. But your situation may change and you may be. And even if you'll never select another mate, you have children and grandchildren who need to hear what is found in this passage.

Now today I'm going to do something different. Instead of waiting until the end of the message to give you those four principles for choosing a mate and making any wise decision, we're going to see each of those principles as we go through the story today. It begins in Genesis 24. Now Abraham was old, advanced in age, and the Lord had blessed Abraham in every way. And Abraham said to his servant, the oldest of his household, who had charge of all that Abraham owned, please place your hand under my thigh and I'm going to make you swear by the Lord, the God of heaven and earth, that you shall not take a wife for my son from the daughters of the Canaanites among whom I live. You know, this is a principle you see throughout scripture about marriage.

It's very simple. Believers are to only marry other believers. That's exactly what Abraham was saying to Eleazar. But notice verse eight, what Abraham adds, if the woman is not willing to follow you, then you'll be free from this oath. Now he wasn't saying if you can't find a believer, go with plan B, an unbeliever. He was just saying, if you can't find a woman who meets this requirement, then we'll trust God to bring it about in another way.

And that leads to key number one for finding a mate or making any wise decision, know God's principles. Now, he made that commitment, Eleazar. He said, I will only find a believer. And so he sets out on the 500 mile journey from Canaan back to the home country of Mesopotamia. And he ends up, Eleazar ends up in the city of Nahor, which is close to Haran where Abraham spent a long portion of his life.

Now, Eleazar is looking for a bride. Where does he go? The first stop he makes is at the well, a spring. So he went there. But guess what? There wasn't just one woman hanging around the well.

There were multiple women there. He had options. And that's the thing about determining God's will, whether it's for a marriage partner or for some other decision. Most of the time, we just don't have one decision or one choice. We have multiple choices. And that's when we've got to know what God's will is.

And that leads to principle number two. If you're trying to make a wise decision, engage in prayer. Look at verse 12. And Eleazar said, O Lord, the God of my master Abraham, please bring me success today and show lovingkindness to my master Abraham. Did you know that outside of Abraham's conversation with God about Sodom and Gomorrah, which was more of a conversation, this is the first recorded prayer in the Bible. It came from a servant who wanted wisdom and success in what he was about to do. Now you have to ask the question, where did Eleazar learn how to pray? Well, he watched Abraham. He saw that Abraham walked with God.

Don't ever underestimate the impact you have on other people, on your employees or your boss or your coworkers or your children by the things you do. Some things are better caught than taught. And that's true of prayer. He observed Abraham praying.

He emulated that. He prayed for wisdom. You know, over and over again, the Bible promises if we will seek wisdom, God will give it to us. You know, the only person more interested in your finding God's will than you are is God.

He wants you to know his will. Proverbs 3, 5 and 6 says, trust in the Lord with all of your heart and don't lean in your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge God and he will make your path straight. Or John 14, verse 18, Jesus said, I am not going to leave you as an orphan in this world.

I'm not going to leave you all alone. Defend for yourself. If you ask for wisdom, I'll give it to you. So he engaged in prayer. But I want you to notice something he did beside praying. And that is he exercised practicality.

He exercised practicality. Now let me show you what I mean in verse 14. Look at this prayer. He said to God, now may it be that the girl to whom I say, please let down your jar so that I may drink. And the one who answers drink and I'll water your camels also, may she be the one whom you have appointed for your servant Isaac.

And by this I will know that you have shown loving kindness to my master. In other words, God, here's what I want. Here's the sign I'm asking for. The first girl who says, I'm going to give you water to drink, Eleazar. And not only that, I'll water your camels.

She's the one. Now, it sounds like Eleazar was asking for a sign, doesn't it? That sounds like a sign to me. I want you to write down three truths about signs that the Bible teaches us. First of all, God does not respect those who seek signs.

In Matthew 12, 39, Jesus said, an evil and adulterous generation craves for a sign. Signs in the Bible are not an evidence of faith, they are evidence of a lack of faith. Every time somebody asks for a sign in the Bible, it's never a sign of faith, it's a sign of a lack of faith. Secondly, signs are a very poor way to determine God's will. Asking for a sign is one of the worst ways to try to find God's will.

Here's why. The person requesting the sign is the one who gets to determine what the sign is. And we all have a tendency to construct a sign that's in keeping with what we really want to do. For example, if I say, you know, I wonder if I ought to sell my house or not. And you really deep down don't want to sell your house. You could say, Lord, if a tornado strikes at 11 a.m. tomorrow, I will sell my house.

Now, the chances of that are slim to none that that's going to happen. Because you really don't want to sell your house, so you do something that is highly improbable. If you were honest in seeking the sign, you would say, okay, I'm going to flip a coin. Heads I sell, tails I keep the house. But signs are poor because we determine what the sign is. The third truth about signs is signs can actually be wisdom in disguise. For example, if you were thinking about selling your car. You look up the value of your car and you see the blue book value is $10,500.

And you say, okay, the first person who offers me $11,000 or more I'm going to sell to. That's not an impractical sign. That's really wisdom in disguise.

It's based on facts. By the way, asking for signs can be disobedience in disguise as well. I remember one time talking to a Christian man. He had determined that he was going to divorce his wife. Had no biblical grounds for doing it, but determined it was, quote, God's will for him to do that. And I asked him, what makes you think it's God's will for you to divorce? He said, well, the other day I was driving around and I was asking God for a sign. And I approached this intersection and the light was green. And I said, Lord, if you want me to go through with this divorce, keep the light green. But if you want me to stop divorce proceedings, turn it red and pastor, it stayed green. So it must be God's will. That's an absolutely true story. Have you ever heard anything that moronic before?

But that's exactly what a lot of people do. Many times signs can be disobedience in disguise. But what I want to show you in this passage is Eliezer's sign was really wisdom in disguise. When he says, whoever offers to give me water and my camels as well, let her be the one.

First of all, an offer to do that would be a demonstration of kindness. And it was very important for whomever was going to be Isaac's wife, the head of the new household after Abraham passed on, to be somebody who was kind. But she also had to be somebody in great physical shape to make that 500 mile journey on the back of a camel back to Canaan. To water 10 camels would take a lot of strength. You know, Dr. Henry Morris, the late Dr. Morris, in his Genesis commentary, notes that a dry camel can take 20 gallons of water. If you've got 10 camels, that is 200 gallons of water this woman would have to draw and put in the cistern.

That would take a very healthy woman to do that. So what I'm showing you is that really this wasn't an unrelated sign. This was wisdom in disguise. Verse 21, now notice what happens. Here is the woman. She's done exactly what Eleazar prayed, but verse 21. Meanwhile, the man was gazing at her in silence to know whether the Lord had made his journey successful or not.

Isn't that just like most people, like us sometimes? We pray and pray and pray for something. And when God gives us the answer, we wonder, is this really God's will or not? That was Eleazar.

Is this really the answer even though she met all of the criteria? Finally Eleazar's good sense took over. Verse 26, then the man bowed low and he worshiped the Lord. And he said, blessed be the Lord, the God of my master Abraham, who has not forsaken his loving kindness and his truth toward my master.

As for me, the Lord has guided me in the way to the house of my master's brothers. So Eleazar finds Rebekah. He puts her on the camel.

They hightail it 500 miles back to Canaan. She meets Isaac and they live happily ever after, right? That's not how the story quite ends. You see Eleazar, now that he found Rebekah, had to ask permission of Rebekah's family. So he goes back to her house. Now I want you to put yourself in the sandals of Rebekah's family. Just imagine one day you hear a knock at the door.

You open the front door. There's a little short man with a thick Middle East accent. And he says, I saw your teenage daughter out in the field and God told me that she is to be the wife of my master's son.

So I'm going to take her with me forever to a foreign country to be the wife of my master's son. Is that okay with you? Well how would you answer?

How long would it take you to slam the door shut and call 911? I mean that's exactly what happened. Here's Eleazar. He comes to these strangers and he tells them everything that has happened. How God led him there. How God pointed out Rebekah. Now look at their response in verses 50 and 51. Then Laban and Bethuel replied, the matter comes from the Lord.

So we cannot speak to you bad or good. Here is Rebekah before you. Take her and go and let her be the wife of your master's son as the Lord has spoken. Everybody seems convinced after hearing the story. This must be God. Everybody except Rebekah's mom. She still has a question.

She says, well couldn't our daughter stay with us for 10 more days since we'll never see her again? Eleazar says, nope. The Lord has spoken.

We must go. By the way, where did Eleazar learn the principle to obey God immediately? He learned it again by his employer Abraham. When Abraham was told by God to circumcise himself and his servants, Abraham obeyed immediately. When God said take your son Isaac to Mount Moriah, offer him as a sacrifice, Abraham obeyed immediately.

That influenced Eleazar. But there was one last thing they had to do before they left. They had to get Rebekah's response. Verse 58, then they called Rebekah and said to her, will you go with this man? And she said, I will go.

Remember in verse 8, Abraham had said, if she's unwilling to go, then we'll have to find another way. You know, Eleazar had done everything right. He obeyed the principles. He engaged in prayer.

He engaged in practicality. But ultimately, the decision was Rebekah's. Do you want to go?

And she said, I will go. And that leads us to the fourth principle in finding a mate or making any decision that's according to God's will. And that is trust in God's providence. Trust in God's providence.

I read a book years ago called All You Can Do Is All You Can Do. It's a great title for a book, but it applies to God's will too. After you have done everything you know to do, after you've sought to find what God's word says, after you have prayed, after you've tried to be practical, you have to go ahead and make a decision.

You need to go ahead and make a decision. And if you have made a mistake, that's when you trust in the sovereignty of God. And that's what Eleazar did. He left it up to Rebekah.

Will you go? She said, I will. And so after 500 miles, she finally makes it back to Canaan. Meanwhile, we're told in verse 63 that Isaac was out in the field working, surveying the horizon, waiting and waiting for Eleazar to return with the bride and curious to see who it would be.

So notice what happens. Verse 64, Rebekah lifted up her eyes and when she saw Isaac, she dismounted from the camel. She said to Eleazar, who is that man walking in the field to meet us? And the servant said, he is my master.

Then she took her veil and covered herself. The servant told Isaac all the things that he had done. Then Isaac brought her into his mother Sarah's tent and he took Rebekah and she became his wife and he loved her. Thus, Isaac was comforted after his mother's death. You know, I think the order is interesting there.

She became his wife and then he loved her. Now, don't make more of this than I intend for you to. But you know, in our culture, we put so much emphasis on there's got to be that magic spark. When I meet the right one, the violins will start playing and the fireworks will explode in the sky and that's how I will know. You know, many times it's love that comes after we make the commitment. Now, I understand there has to be a spark there. There has to be an attraction. There has to be a love.

But once we make that commitment to somebody else, sometimes the love grows and grows and grows and grows after the commitment, not before the commitment. That's exactly what happened with Isaac and Rebekah. You know, we could end the story here and we would have learned some important principles about knowing God's will. We will have discovered an interesting chapter in the life of Abraham and the formation of that nation of Israel.

But it would be negligence to stop here without pointing out the obvious. This story is real. It's historical.

These are real people. But they are also a type of foreshadowing of an even greater story. Abraham is a type, he's a picture of God the Father who is seeking a bride for his son, the Lord Jesus Christ. Isaac, Hebrews 11, 19 says, is a type of Jesus Christ who is waiting in that far country waiting for his bride to come home. Eleazar is a type, a picture of the Holy Spirit of God whom God sends to woo and invite people to become the bride of the green Jesus Christ.

And Rebekah is a type of the Church of Jesus Christ, individual believers who have said to God, I will. I do trust in Christ. And we await our journey back to heaven to meet the groom. That's the picture you find in this great story.

And it's why Jesus said, let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid. You believe in God, believe also in me. For in my Father's house are many mansions.

If it were not so, I would have told you. For I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again to take you unto myself, that where I am, there you may be also. In case you came our way late in the program, today on Pathway to Victory, I'm talking about finding the perfect mate. It's part of our study of the life of Abraham.

It's quite possible that someone you love, perhaps a son, maybe a granddaughter, is making this life-altering decision right now. I highly recommend that you share this message with him or her. In a moment, David will explain how you can receive the complete study called Walking by Faith on both CD and DVD. It's the unedited version of my sermon, so you will hear far more teaching than we've had time to include on today's program. This series, Walking by Faith, concludes tomorrow. And with this deadline coming, I want to be certain that you receive my brand new book, also titled Walking by Faith.

Time is running out to take advantage of this offer. At its core, my book is a practical tutorial on how to connect with God throughout your day. Yes, prayer is part of that connection.

But walking with God includes so many other wonderful opportunities to engage with Him. So request a copy of my new book, Walking by Faith. I'm pleased to send it to your home when you give a generous gift to support the ministry of Pathway to Victory. Now, in closing today, I can't overemphasize the importance of your financial partnership with Pathway to Victory. Even in these dark and ominous days, we continue to see a growing trajectory of impact, reaching more people than ever before. But this success is not without cost, and we truly need friends like you to join with us. Here's David to explain how to get in touch, and I hope you'll do so today.

David. Thanks, Dr. Jeffress. A copy of the brand new book by Dr. Jeffress, Walking by Faith, is yours today when you give a generous gift to support the ministry of Pathway to Victory. Call 866-999-2965 or make your request online at ptv.org. Now, when you give $75 or more, you'll also receive the complete collection of audio and video discs for this month's teaching series, Walking by Faith.

You'll get that along with the corresponding study guide. But time is running out to take advantage of this offer, so get in touch right away. One more time, our phone number, 866-999-2965, or go to ptv.org. Now, if you'd like to write, here's the address, P.O. Box 223-609, Dallas, Texas, 75222. Again, that's P.O.

Box 223-609, Dallas, Texas, 75222. I'm David J. Mullins. One day, all of us will pass from this life into the next. So, when your time comes, how do you want to be remembered? Join us for a message called, How to Die with a Smile on Your Face. That's Friday on Pathway to Victory. Pathway to Victory with Dr. Robert Jeffress comes from the pulpit of the First Baptist Church of Dallas, Texas.