Hey, podcast listeners. Thanks for streaming today's podcast, From Pathway to Victory. Pathway to Victory is a nonprofit ministry featuring the Bible teaching of Dr. Robert Jeffress. Our mission is to pierce the darkness with the light of God's word through the most effective media available, like this podcast. To support Pathway to Victory, go to ptv.org slash podcast and click the donate button or follow the link in our show notes. Now here's today's podcast, From Pathway to Victory. Thanks to the horrific attack on Israel, I've written a brand new book called Are We Litting in the End Times?
Go to ptv.org to order your copy. Welcome to Pathway to Victory with author and pastor, Dr. Robert Jeffress. When God created Adam and Eve, he designed an intimate expression of love between marriage partners. But tragically, countless relationships have been destroyed because of infidelity.
Is there any hope for redemption after such a mistake? Today on Pathway to Victory, Dr. Robert Jeffress describes how couples can recover from the consequences of sexual abuse. Now here's our Bible teacher to introduce today's message.
Dr. Jeffress? Thanks, David, and welcome again to Pathway to Victory. Maybe you have always assumed that taking a cruise vacation was for someone else.
Perhaps you've dismissed boarding a ship because it seems out of reach for you. Well, I'm urging you to visit ptv.org so that you can begin planning the vacation of a lifetime that's coming June 15th through 22nd. Those are the days for the upcoming Pathway to Victory cruise to Alaska. We'll be stopping in charming ports of call like Skagway, Ketchikan, and of course, Juneau. We'll enjoy the music of Christian artists Rebecca St. James and Michael O'Brien and the comedy of Dennis Swanberg. I'll be teaching from God's Word as well.
Now, while space remains open, be sure to reserve your spot by going to ptv.org. Well, these days we're talking about overcoming life's disappointments. Our series, Say Goodbye to Regret, addresses 10 of the most common sources of remorse and shame. I've written a best-selling book that inspired this teaching series, and it's one of the most personal and practical books I've ever written.
Sometimes the enemy takes our bad memories and celebrates them, bringing them into our memory over and over again. My book, Say Goodbye to Regret, will show you how to face your disappointments and receive God's mercy and forgiveness. This book is a great choice for your personal quiet times or to use in your small group Bible study.
And I'm happy to send a copy to your home when you give a generous gift to support the growing ministry of Pathway to Victory. One of the most common regrets comes in the form of sexual behavior. Let's discover what God's Word has to say about addressing this private area of our lives. I titled today's message, Say Goodbye to Sexual Regrets. There are some of you right now who have great regret over a sexual mistake you've made and you're wondering, how can I deal with that? Is my life going to be miserable from here on out?
No, it doesn't have to be. But many of you are here at this stage in your life and you're wondering, how can I prevent regrets about sexuality in the future? And we're going to talk about both of those. First of all, if you are guilty of sexual immorality, number one, acknowledge your need for God's forgiveness. And that leads to the second thing we need to do and that is we need to receive God's forgiveness. But if I'm going to receive God's forgiveness, I have to ask for it. First John 1.9, if we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us of all unrighteousness. We must acknowledge we need God's forgiveness, but secondly, we must receive God's forgiveness. The moment we become a Christian, God forgives us. Look at Colossians 2, verse 13. When you were dead in your transgressions and the uncircumcision of your flesh, God made you alive together with Christ.
And here's the best part. Having forgiven us what? All. All our transgressions. When Christ forgives you, He doesn't forgive you just of those little itty bitty sins. He forgives us of those humongous sins. All of those sins He has forgiven.
He has nailed to the cross of Jesus Christ and said to Telestai, paid in full, it is finished. That's the great news of the gospel. And that's the forgiveness that awaits everyone. Well, pastor, you said I'm forgiven, but that doesn't erase the consequences. How can there be anything positive that comes from these painful consequences? Even the consequences, ladies and gentlemen, is a sign of God's grace.
Let me show you what I mean. Number three, view your adverse consequences from immorality as a vaccination against future mistakes. Do you remember, I'm probably dating myself, back in grade school, those of you who are about my age, back in 1960, they started giving polio vaccinations. And the way they administered those vaccinations, mostly, was not through a shot. It was through a little sugar cube you would take. And that sugar cube would be doused with a form of the polio virus. And they tried to make it taste better with that sugar cube, but I can still taste today how awful that was. Because it didn't erase the bad taste. Why did it taste so bad? Because you were actually taking a weaker form of the polio virus.
So that your body, instead of being completely destroyed, would develop the immunities you needed to inoculate yourself against having the real disease later on. Now, in a lot of ways, God allows us to experience distasteful consequences of our sin to inoculate us against future similar mistakes. Some years ago, a man, I'll just call him Jack, came to see me and he said, Pastor, I don't know what to do. He said, I got involved in an emotional, not a physical, but an emotional affair at work. It sat to my energy for two years.
I focused on this other person. I thought at one time I'd leave my wife and marry her, but God really dealt with me about it and I felt guilty and so I broke off the relationship. But I'm still experiencing the consequences of it. During that time, because I wasn't paying attention to my work, I lost my business, my wife and I still have a distant relationship even after I confess the mistake. If God has forgiven me, why do I experience these consequences? Now, I didn't know what to say.
I'm not going to say this came from God, but I did get an idea. I said, Jack, let me ask you something. How likely are you to engage in any kind of an affair again with another woman? He said, oh, Pastor, every time I see a woman now, I run in the opposite direction. I said, have you always been that way? Has that always been your attitude toward me? No, he said.
I used to be quite a flirt. So I said, in a way, this mistake of yours has inoculated you against future mistakes. He said, well, I never thought of it that way, but that's right. I said, well, why don't we have a prayer of thanksgiving right now?
He said, thanksgiving? I said, yeah, let's thank God. He said, thank God for my affair? I said, no, not thanking God for your affair, but thanking God for his mercy, that he allowed your family to stay together, to thank him for his grace, knowing you're not going to hell for this mistake. And yes, thanking God that you're more immune from these kind of affairs in the future than you've ever been. And I believe that's how we need to look at these consequences.
By the way, that's not original with me. Solomon talks about that over and over again. He has a word for consequences. They're called reproofs. Throughout the Book of Proverbs, you find Solomon saying that we need to learn from the reproofs of life. What are reproofs?
They are corrections, discipline, painful consequences God sends into our life to prevent those consequences again in the future. Listen to what Proverbs says about reproofs. Proverbs 13, 18. Poverty and shame will come to one who neglects discipline, but he who regards, who learns from reproofs will be honored. Or Proverbs 15, 5. A fool rejects his father's discipline, but he who respects reproof is sensible. Or Proverbs 15, 31. He whose ears listen to the life-giving reproof will dwell among the wise. Number four, if you're going to avoid regrets against future sexual immorality, avoid tempting situations. Avoid tempting situations. Students, I used to be the youth minister here.
And when I was youth minister, I had a guy, he was a junior in high school come to see me, one of the most outstanding guys in our youth division. And he said, Robert, I've got a problem. I don't know what to do about it. I said, well, what is it? He said, I'm really having trouble with my thought life.
I'm having a hard time keeping wrong thoughts about girls from entering my mind. And I said, well, when do these thoughts tend to come? I swear I'm not making this up. He said, usually when I'm looking at the pictures in Playboy. I almost laughed out loud. I said, well, cancel your subscription. Now, we laugh at that.
I said, that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. We do the same thing. We wonder, why am I in such temptation right now? Because we've gotten ourselves in a situation that nobody can handle. The Bible says over and over again, flee youthful lust. Don't see how close you can get to the edge of immorality without crossing the line. You ought to run from that line as far and as fast as you can.
How do you do that? Let me give some specific ways to avoid tempting situations. Number one, refuse to have any relationship with a member of the opposite sex that you are unwilling to tell your mate about.
That's key. It's not just refuse to have any relationship with a member of the opposite sex. Can you imagine if I, as pastor, did that? And I said, I'm just not going to talk to women at all in the church. I'm just not going to have any relationship with them.
Well, I'd be run out of here if I said that. Women make up more than 50% of our congregation. No, the key is don't have any relationship with a woman you are trying to hide from your mate that you're unwilling to tell your mate about. Don't send any text that you wouldn't be happy for your mate to read or make any phone calls or arrange any meetings. Secondly, reserve your most intimate thoughts for your mate. Did you know the most important organ in the sexual act is the brain? It's the brain. Sex doesn't begin in the bedroom. It begins in the mind. It's emotional bonding with people that leads to a physical bonding with people. And so if you're married, save your deepest emotions, your happiness, your disappointments, your fears for that other person, your mate, not anybody else. Proverbs 4 23 says, watch over your heart with all diligence, for from it flows the springs of life. Number three, if you want to avoid tempting situations, refrain from meeting alone with members of the opposite sex. I'm talking primarily to married people here, but refrain from meeting alone with members of the opposite sex. One of the things I so appreciated about our pastor, Dr. Criswell, was for the years of his ministry, there was never a taint of sexual immorality.
Not at all. And he was very rabid about following this principle. One of the ladies who was on staff when Dr. Criswell was pastor here told me this story years later. She said one night she was leaving the church and it was a torrential frog strangling downpour that we experience here in Texas sometimes. And she got in her car and was driving away when she saw Dr. Criswell walking in the rain without an umbrella, going from the old Criswell building over to his car in the veal parking lot. And she pulled up her car and lowered the window and said, Dr. Criswell, get in here and I'll drive you to your car. You're going to drown. He said, honey, it would be better for me to drown than to be seen getting in the car with you all alone.
And he continued to walk. Now, that's what you call wisdom. Wisdom. Compare that wisdom with the foolishness of a man that the writer of Proverbs describes as a man lacking in sense. Some people have called this passage from Proverbs 7 anatomy of a seduction. Look at this in verse 6 of Proverbs 7.
For at the window of my house I looked out through my lattice and I saw among the naive and discerned among the youths a young man lacking sense. Passing through the street near her corner, he takes the way to her house. And what does she say?
This isn't necessarily a prostitute as we think of it, but a woman loose in her morals. She says, come, let us drink our fill of love until morning. Let us delight ourselves in caresses for my husband is not at home. He's gone on a long journey. He has taken a bag of money with him and at the full moon he will come home.
In other words, he won't be home for days, maybe two weeks. With her many persuasions she entices him. With her flattering lips she seduces him. Suddenly he follows her as an ox goes to the slaughter or as one in fetters to the discipline of a fool until an arrow pierces through his liver.
As a bird hastens to the snare so he does not know that it will cost him his life. You know Proverbs 6 27 says, can a man take fire to his bosom and not be burned? There are situations, it doesn't matter how spiritual you are, how much you pray, they're just too hot to handle and you need to avoid them.
Let me be real practical here for a moment. A wise person, man or woman, will avoid eating alone with a member of the opposite sex or allowing themselves to be in a conversation alone with somebody of the opposite sex. Because what can start out as an innocent conversation can take a wrong turn very quickly. You remember a couple of years ago I was on TV of Fox talking about this several times, people were making fun of the vice president Mike Pence because of his rule for never dining alone with another woman.
People said that's extreme, that's eccentric, that's crazy. No, that's wisdom. And the Bible says if you want to avoid sexual regrets you've got to go the extra mile in abstaining from tempting situations. Finally, and perhaps most importantly, how do you say goodbye to regrets about immorality and prevent those regrets in the future, renew your commitment to marital fidelity.
One thing I love about the Bible is it can say in one sentence what it takes me 30 minutes to say. Look at what the writer of Hebrews said, marriage is to be held in honor among all and the marriage bed is to be undefiled for fornicators. That's talking about premarital sex.
That's one way you keep it from being undefiled. But also adulterers, immoral sex after marriage. God will judge that. Hold marriage as honorable. But you know in the end it's not a commitment to the institution. It's not a commitment to an idea.
It's a commitment to that other person that is the bedrock for remaining faithful in our marriage. I don't know about you. This was a long time ago. I was in a daze during our wedding.
I don't remember a lot of what I said. In fact I remember very well going back and listening to the ceremony the next day on cassette tape to see exactly what I had promised Amy and Dr. Crystal and everybody else what I had said that day. But one thing I said, and I bet you said it as well if you got married, you made the promise to be true to that other person in all things until death alone shall part you. And there's something powerful about renewing that commitment. Not just yearly, but daily.
Even hourly. A number of years ago I was preaching a message on this topic to a group at the Glorieta Baptist Encampment outside of Albuquerque. And after I finished the message the host introduced me to somebody who had been in the audience.
A man named Robertson McQuilken. If I had known he was going to be in the audience I would have had him preach the message. Because he understands marital commitment more than anybody I know.
Listen to what he writes about his own experience with commitment with his mate. Seventeen summers ago Muriel and I began our journey into the twilight. It's midnight now, at least for her, and sometimes I wonder when dawn will break. Even the dreaded Alzheimer's disease isn't supposed to attack so early or torment for so long. Yet in her silent world Muriel is so content, so lovable. If Jesus took her home how I would miss her gentle sweet presence. Yes, there are times when I get irritated, but not often.
It doesn't make sense to get angry. And perhaps the Lord has been answering the prayer of my youth to mellow my spirit. One time though I completely lost it. In the days when Muriel could still stand and walk and we had not yet resorted to diapers, sometimes there were accidents. I was on my knees beside her trying to clean up the mess as she stood confused. It would have been easier if she hadn't been so insistent on helping.
I got more and more frustrated. Suddenly to make her stand still I slapped her calf as if that would do any good. It wasn't a hard slap, but she was startled. I was too. Never in our 44 years of marriage had I ever so much as touched her in anger or in rebuke of any kind.
Never was tempted in fact. But now when she needed me most. At that very moment Chuck Swindoll boomed from the radio in our kitchen. Men, are you at home? Really at home? In the midst of my stinking immersion I smiled, yeah Chuck, I really am at home.
And how I wish I weren't. Recently a student's wife named Cindy asked me, don't you ever get tired? Tired I said, every night that's why I go to bed.
No I mean tired of. And she tilted her head toward Muriel who sat silently in her wheelchair. Her vacant eyes saying nobody's at home just now. I responded to her question, why no.
I don't get tired. I love her. She's my precious. Well Cindy said I certainly would get tired.
Cindy and her husband are handsome, healthy, smart people. Yet she admits that it is hard to constantly affirm her husband. What happens when there is so little to commend? How does love make a difference? Love is said to evaporate if the relationship is not mutual. If it's not physical. If the other person doesn't communicate.
Or if one party doesn't carry his or her share of the load. When I hear the litanies of essentials for a happy marriage. I count off what my beloved can no longer contribute. And I contemplate how truly mysterious love is. Perhaps love is not quite as mysterious as Robertson McQuilkin makes it out to be. With the kind of rock solid commitment he demonstrates toward his wife. Chances of that love evaporating are about as great as the chances of Hoover Dam being reduced to a mist and vaporizing.
It's just not going to happen. And ultimately it's that kind of rock solid commitment to your mate. The remember of your vows. The love you have for that other person that is the best deterrent I know to sexual regrets in life. You might find it unusual to hear a Bible teacher addressing one of the most intimate facets of our lives. But my hope is that God will use this message to renew your most treasured relationship with your mate.
As I mentioned at the outset of today's Pathway to Victory. I've written a bestselling book on this topic. My book addresses nine other regrets as well. It's called Say Goodbye to Regret.
The subtitle says it all. Living beyond the would haves, could haves, and should haves. And time is running out to request your copy. Please, while there's still time, get in touch with us today and request my book, Say Goodbye to Regret. Without question, this book is one of the most personal and practical that I've ever written.
And I believe God will use the biblical teaching in this book to redeem your mistakes and to give you a fresh start. It's the perfect book for the new year. Now in closing, I want to give a big shout out to those who gave generously in December. Your generosity has postured Pathway to Victory to have an even greater impact for the gospel in the new year.
And I'm very grateful to you. With this in mind, it's a very good time to set up your monthly gifts to Pathway to Victory. By becoming a monthly giver, we call them Pathway Partners, you have a ministry all your own. You're the one God uses to reach people with the redemptive message of Jesus Christ. And so as you sense God leading you to become a Pathway Partner, please take the small steps involved.
It's really quite simple, and I guarantee you will never regret investing in this worthy cause. Together, we are piercing the darkness with the light of God's word. David? Thanks, Dr. Jeffress. You're invited to request your copy of the bestselling book by Dr. Jeffress, Say Goodbye to Regret, when you give a generous gift to support the ministry of Pathway to Victory, or when you give your first gift as a Pathway Partner. Please call 866-999-2965 or visit us online at ptv.org.
And when you give an especially generous gift of $75 or more, we'll also include the complete Say Goodbye to Regret teaching series on audio and video discs, perfect for listening to in the car or watching with a small group Bible study or Sunday school class. One more time, call 866-999-2965 or go to ptv.org. If you'd prefer to write, here's that mailing address, P.O. Box 223-609, Dallas, Texas, 75222. One more time, that's P.O.
Box 223-609, Dallas, Texas, 75222. I'm David J. Mullins, wishing you a great weekend. Then join us next week when the series Say Goodbye to Regret continues. That's right here on Pathway to Victory. Pathway to Victory with Dr. Robert Jeffress comes from the pulpit of the First Baptist Church of Dallas, Texas. You made it to the end of today's podcast from Pathway to Victory, and we're so glad you're here. Pathway to Victory relies on the generosity of loyal listeners like you to make this podcast possible. One of the most impactful ways you can give is by becoming a Pathway partner. Your monthly gift will empower Pathway to Victory to share the gospel of Jesus Christ and help others become rooted more firmly in His Word. To become a Pathway partner, go to ptv.org slash podcast and click on the donate button or follow the link in our show notes. We hope you've been blessed by today's podcast from Pathway to Victory.
