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Now, here's today's podcast, From Pathway to Victory. Hi, this is Robert Jeffers, and I'm glad to study God's Word with you every day on this Bible teaching program on today's edition of Pathway to Victory. We've looked at this truth in another form at another time, but I thought these truths are worth reminding ourselves today about what it really means to be a successful parent. And what I would like to do is, I would like to take that word success. And use it as an acrostic for seven keys of being a successful mom or dad.
Welcome to Pathway to Victory with author and pastor Dr. Robert Jeffers. Without a doubt, King Solomon was the wealthiest and wisest man to ever live. And gratefully, we have an entire book filled with his timeless wisdom about successful living. Today, on Pathway to Victory, Dr.
Robert Jeffers teaches that we can't achieve long-term success. without mentoring and training up the next generation. But first, let's take a moment to hear some important ministry updates. Thanks, David, and welcome to Pathway to Victory. On Monday, we began a new study in the Proverbs called The Solomon's Secrets, 10 Keys to Extraordinary Success in Life.
One of the things I've grown to love about the Proverbs is Solomon's counterintuitive counsel. He has a way of surprising us with wisdom that defies conventional thinking. And in the book I've written called The Solomon's Secrets, I'm inviting you to personalize these deep lessons and put them to work in your life. For instance, one of the chapters is called Spend Your Way to Wealth. Another is, The Way Up is Down.
And another one has a humorous title. Listen to the jerks in your life. I'd like to send you a copy of this book today. It's a natural choice for your book club or Bible study group as well. When you give a generous gift to support the Ministry of Pathway to Victory, be sure to request a copy of the Solomon Secrets.
It comes with our thanks for your investment in this ministry. In addition to my book, I'm also going to send you a helpful resource designed just for the young person in your life. It's a 44-page book called Timeless Wisdom from Proverbs, containing a wealth of insight on relevant topics such as coping with peer pressure, cultivating healthy friendships, and advice on dating. This booklet is my gift to you when you request a copy at ptv.org.
Okay, let's give our complete attention to a wise saying of Solomon in Proverbs chapter 22. If you're a parent or grandparent, I urge you to listen closely to this message. I titled Today's teaching. Success without succession is failure. The key to experiencing success.
In every part of your life, is wisdom.
Someone has said that wisdom is the skill to live your life. according to God's plan, according to His pattern. And the book of Proverbs is really a depository of wisdom that guarantees success in every part of your life. And that's why we're studying over these 10 weeks Solomon's book of Proverbs. We're looking specifically at 10 keys to experiencing extraordinary success in life.
Now, the reason it's so important to get this skill called wisdom that Solomon says is more valuable than silver or gold. The reason wisdom is important is because God's wisdom is often opposite of man's wisdom. And that's why I call these secrets, I call them the Solomon secrets, ten pieces of uncommon sense. They go against the grain of conventional wisdom. Last time we looked at the first of Solomon's Secrets for Success.
Man's wisdom says If you want to succeed in life, avoid failure at all costs. No, God's wisdom says. If you want to succeed more in life, fail more in life. That goes against our wisdom. But you see, God says the more times you try something, yes, the more times you'll fail.
But also, the more times you will succeed.
Well, today we're going to look at a second Solomon's secret for success. Man's wisdom says our influence in this world ends the moment that we die. No, God's wisdom says. Our greatest influence on this world continues after we die. In the children and the grandchildren we leave behind.
The fact is, all of us are going to die. Have you come to grips with that fact? You are going to die. And that's why it is so critical. That we prepare those who follow us to live life successfully.
You know, a company CEO. Who does not prepare a successor for his business is ensuring the demise of that business in a future generation. In the same way, those of us as parents need to realize that soon we're going to be off life stage. And it's important that we give our children and our grandchildren the keys they need to live successfully in this life. as well as the life to come.
And that's why the second Solomon secret we're going to look at today is success. without succession. is failure. Actually, that truth comes from God's word itself. If you have your Bibles, turn to Proverbs chapter 22.
We've looked at this truth in another form at another time, but I thought these truths are worth reminding ourselves today about what it really means to be a successful parent. And what I would like to do is, I would like to take that word success. And use it as an acrostic for seven keys of being a successful mom or dad. If you want to be a successful parent and grandparent, mark these seven steps down. The first S in the word success stands for this: successful parents see their children as a gift from God.
A successful parent is one who sees his children as a gift from God.
Now, let's all be honest. Being a parent can be frustrating at times, amen? A successful parent is one who doesn't see his child as an irritant. or an inconvenience. But instead sees his child as an inheritance, a gift from God.
In Psalm 127, verse 3, the psalmist said, Behold, children are a gift of the Lord. The fruit of the womb is a reward. That word gift in Hebrew is a word that literally means inheritance. Children are an inheritance from God. In fact, that word inheritance is the same Hebrew word that was used to describe the promised land that God gave to Israel.
And that truth has three implications. The fact that children are God's gift to us, that means, first of all, children are gifts of real value. Just like that piece of real estate in the Middle East had great value to the Israelites, so our children have great value to us. Secondly, children are gifts for which we will one day be held accountable. You understand that, parents?
Your children are gifts for which one day you will be held accountable by God. 2 Corinthians 5:10 reminds us that we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, that each one of us may be rewarded for what we've done in the body, whether it be good or bad. The fact is, those of us who are Christians are going to be judged one day. It's a different judgment, but it's a very real judgment. It's the judgment seat of Christ.
And at that judgment, we are going to be evaluated, not condemned, but evaluated by God. According to what we've done with the time, the money, the opportunities God has entrusted to us. And I believe, parents, grandparents. A part of that judgment will be what we've done with the children, the grandchildren God has entrusted to us as well. As we stand before that judgment seat of Christ, I think God is going to ask us.
Did we impart to our children the skills they needed? to live life successfully. Did we convince them that there are at least two people in the world who love them unconditionally? Did we teach them not only by our word, but by our example, that the most important thing in life is following and serving Jesus Christ? Our children are gifts for which we will one day be held accountable.
And thirdly, our children are temporary gifts. One of the saddest things I ever have to do as a pastor. It is to participate, to preside at the funeral service of a child or a teenager. Rose Kennedy said one time: It is unnatural for parents to bury their children. It's one of the saddest things I ever do, and whenever a parent loses a child, I've seen that they seem to be overwhelmed by two emotions.
The first emotion is shock. They can't believe the child's gone. They can't believe that they will never look on his or her face again, at least in this life. But suddenly, that shock eventually gives way to regret. Great regret over time they could have spent with the child that they didn't spend with the child.
Even if your child isn't taken from you prematurely in death, They're soon going to be leaving you. You understand that, don't you? You only have your children for a short amount of time until they leave, go off to school, go on to pursue their own interests, and build their own families. Author Tim Hansel claims that if you're 35 years old and live to be 70, That means you only have 500 days left to live after you subtract the time you spend eating, sleeping, and working. Hansel says, when I put my life into that context, it helps me realize that I am a father for so short a time, I dare not take it for granted.
To be a successful parent, first of all, you need to see your children as gifts from the Lord. Secondly, Successful parents, the U stands for, understand, accept, and develop their child's bent. Understand, accept, and develop their child's bent. A successful parent is one who understands how unique his or her child is. and seeks to develop that uniqueness and maximize it.
Our friend Dr. James Dobson says. Each child is hand-stitched by the Lord, not mass manufactured in some sweatshop. Their personality is cut from a unique bolt of cloth. Like snowflakes and fingerprints, no two children are alike.
Solomon understood that truth. Look at Proverbs 22, verse 6. This is one of the most familiar verses about parenting in all of the Bible. Most of us can say it by heart, and yet most people don't have a clue what it really means and have actually misapplied it and caused themselves unnecessary guilt as parents. You know what Proverbs 22, 6 says?
Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it. Do you know how most people interpret that verse? They think it means if you instill godly values in your child. And even if your child rebels against you or God, they will return to a right relationship with God. Train up a child in the way he should go, and he will not depart from it.
The only problem with that application is we all know it's not true. I mean, we all can point to instances in other people's families, perhaps in our family. Where a child went to church all the time. They had godly values instilled in them. They rebelled against those values and they never returned to the faith.
Parents are disillusioned by that. God, could you not keep your promise in Proverbs 22:6? What happened?
Well, the fact is, that is a complete misapplication of Proverbs 22, verse 6. Proverbs 22, 6 is not talking about instilling the right values in your children so that they don't depart when they get older from them. The key to understanding this verse correctly is understanding that phrase in the way he should go. That's not talking about the moral or spiritual direction. That phrase in the way he should go is a Hebrew phrase that could be translated according to his natural bent.
That is, train your child according to his natural inclinations, because even when he's an old person, he will still follow those inclinations. It's talking about your child's uniqueness. What Solomon is saying is this: if your child. is more cerebral than athletic. It doesn't matter how many sports activities your child is enrolled in, he will always veer toward the academic rather than the athletic.
If your child is born as a leader, they'll be a leader on the third grade playground, just like they will be when they're an adult. They'll have that inclination toward leadership. If your child is inclined toward music, He or she will always have that draw, that inclination that will draw them to the piano bench. Train up a child in the way he should go because when he's old, he's not going to depart from it. My father was an accordion player.
And when I was five years old, I went to my dad and I said, Dad, can I start playing the accordion like you did? I wanted to be like my dad. And so he said, okay. And he enrolled me in lessons, and I took lessons for 20 years. I played the accordion when I was a child.
A teenager, and through college, I made my money in high school and college playing at weddings and bar mitzvahs and other places I care not to mention, but that's how I made my money. By the way, you know, people ask me all the time: they say, how is it? You go on national television, these people yell at you and scream at you, and it doesn't seem to bother you, or people write these horrible things about you in the newspaper, and it doesn't seem to faze you. Let me tell you something. When you grow up playing the accordion, you learn not to care what anybody thinks about you.
I mean, it's great training for the ministry.
Well, that was my bent. That was my inclination.
So, you know, when my girls were growing up, No, I didn't make them take accordion lessons. But I thought, well, surely they would be interested in music.
So we enrolled Julia and Dorothy in piano lessons. And, you know, Dorothy enjoyed them a little more than Julia did. And Julia tried for a while. But, you know, it was just World War III around our house trying to get our girls to practice and to keep their assignments. You know what the happiest day in our house was?
If you'd ask our girls, it was the day I allowed them to quit taking piano lessons. The fact is they had their own interest. Dorothy in acting, Julia in athletic pursuits. What Solomon is saying, understand your children. Train them according to their natural inclination.
Do you know, by the way, your child's unique bent? I wish I had time to center on this, but Dr. John Maxwell lists 10 questions that every parent or grandparent should be able to answer about his child. Number one: what gives my child joy? Who is my child's hero?
Third, what does my child fear the most? Fourth, what activities give my child energy? Five, what activities were my child out? Number six, if my child got to choose this year's vacation, where would they want to go? Number seven, if my child could pick one activity for me to do with him, what would it be?
Number eight, what kind of music does my child like? Number nine, other than going to school or sleeping, what does my child spend most time doing each week? Number 10, what does my child want to be when he or she grows up? Could you answer those questions about your child? Shakespeare once said, It is a wise parent who knows his child.
Solomon said, It is a successful parent who knows, understands, develops, and maximizes. His child's unique bent. Number three. Successful parents, the C stands for commit to lead their children to Christ. Successful parents, number three, commit to lead their children to Christ.
A visitor was at the estate of English poet Samuel Taylor Coleridge. And they got into an argument, and this visitor said to Coleridge, I don't think parents ought to interfere with their kids' spiritual development. I don't think parents ought to religiously indoctrinate their children. Instead, they ought to let them grow however they want to grow without any interference from them. Coleridge didn't say anything in response.
Instead, he invited his visitor to come out back to look at the garden he had prepared. And when they got to the so-called garden, the visitor pointed at it and said, that's not a garden, that's just a patch of weeds. Colwood said, Well, it used to be a garden. But then I decided to let it grow however it wanted to grow without any interference from me. The fact is, our responsibility as a parent is to teach our children.
It is to allow them to come to faith in Jesus Christ. And we see that in Solomon's words as well. In Proverbs chapter 4, Solomon encourages his children to follow the same spiritual teaching he had received from his father, David. It wasn't passive, it was very intentional. In Proverbs 4, verses 3 to 4, Solomon said, When I was a son to my father, Tinder, and the only son in the sight of my mother.
Then he taught me and said to me, Let your heart hold fast my words, keep my commandments, and live.
Solomon said, I learned invaluable spiritual truth. from both my mother and my father. You remember who his father was.
Solomon's father was King David. King David had a PhD from the University of Hard Knox. There are many things he taught his son. But do you remember who Solomon's mother was? Woman named Bathsheba.
Wasn't the first child Bathsheba had. That child died. But eventually, Solomon was the product of David and Bathsheba. Imagine what a scandal that must have been. Remember, David had engaged in this adulterous relationship with Bathsheba, had her husband at that time, Uriah, killed.
It was the kingdom scandal of the day. And yet David, after Refusing to confess that failure finally came to a point of repentance. and found God's forgiveness. And I believe of all of the lessons that David taught his son Solomon, the most important lesson was this. When you fail.
God is willing to forgive. If you're willing to ask. He taught his son where to go to experience God's forgiveness in his life. In Psalm 32, verses 1 and 2, David said, How blessed, how happy is he whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered? How blessed is the man to whom the Lord does not count or impute iniquity, and in whose spirit there is no deceit.
Mom, Dad? Grandmother, grandfather. Do your children know how to experience God's forgiveness? Do you recognize the fact that that child you Look across the breakfast table at every morning. Do you realize that unless something happens in that child's life and he comes to faith in Christ, that he is headed for an eternity of separation from God?
The most important task we have as parents. Is leading our children to faith in Christ. Successful parents commit. to leading their children to faith in Christ. You say, well, how do we do that?
Let me give you three practical ideas for leading your child to Christ. Number one, pray for your children's salvation regularly. Pray for your children. Pray for your grandchildren that they would come to faith in Christ. We find a great example of that in the Old Testament story of Hannah.
Remember, Hannah had been barren for many years. She prayed that God would give her a child, and God answered that prayer. But Hannah didn't quit praying for her new son Samuel at that point. She kept praying that God would do something magnificent with him, and specifically that God would reveal himself. to Samuel her son.
In 1 Samuel 3, verse 21, we find that God answered that prayer. He revealed himself to Samuel at a young age. And that leads to the second step: be open to your child's salvation. Be open to your child's salvation at an early age. Once I was talking to Very well known.
Bible teacher. Many of you hear him on the radio every day. And I asked him the question. I said, How much do you think a child has to understand in order to be saved? And he said, well, Robert.
Salvation is an adult decision. What are you talking about, children? No, this is something for adults. Unfortunately, there are many Christian parents who have bought into that concept. See, we bought into this idea, this false idea.
that children need to be like adults before they can be saved. Just the opposite. Jesus said in Matthew 18, verse 3: Truly I say to you that unless you are converted and become like children, you shall not see the kingdom of heaven. I'm sure you're praying for your sons and daughters, perhaps your grandchildren, too. As parents, we long to see our offspring develop a meaningful relationship with Jesus.
It begins by modeling our faith at home. Let me suggest that you take a first step today. I've written a book that complements this teaching series. It's called The Solomon Secrets. It includes the topic we addressed today, along with nine other relevant subjects.
When you give a generous gift to Pathway to Victory, I'd like to send a copy to your home. In addition to my book, I've written another resource for the teen or young adult in your life. It's called Timeless Wisdom from Proverbs. My heart longs to see the next generation embrace the truth of God's Word, and I know your heart longs for that too. Get a copy of this short book for your son, daughter, or grandchild.
As we conclude today, let me speak to those who have never stepped forward with a generous gift to pathway to victory. Or maybe it's been a long time since you've been in touch with us. Let me give you a little nudge and remind you that your gift, no matter its size, will make a huge impact on those who rely on this daily program. Giving is simple, it doesn't take long, but your investment will reap eternal rewards. Thanks so much.
Here's David to tell you more. Today when you give a generous gift to support the Ministry of Pathway to Victory, You're invited to request a copy of Dr. Jeffers' best-selling book, The Solomon Secrets. Here's our toll-free number, 866-999-2965. Visit ptv.org or text ptv to 78800.
And when your gift is $75 or more, we'll also send you this month's teaching series, also titled The Solomon Secrets, on DVD Video and MP3 format audio disc. One more time, call 866-999-2965 or make your request online at ptv.org. You could also send your donation by mail right to P.O. Box 223-609 Dallas, Texas 75222. That's P.O.
Box 2203-609, Dallas, Texas, 75222. I'm David J. Mullins. Join us next time for part two of the message: Success Without Succession is Failure. That's Thursday on Pathway to Victory.
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