Severance Season 2 is coming to Apple TV+. What you all did five months ago was one of the most painful moments in the history of this company. Our message got out. We're famous.
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18 plus terms and... This is our American stories. And our next story, well, it's a little gross. It's a little silly and involves two young men coming up with a smelly, smelly product that ultimately has been put to use by the US military to actually prepare medics and other types of people involved in operations that would include horrible smells. How did these two guys come up with their smelly product called liquid?
Well, I'm just going to say assets. Well, here's Andrew Masters and Alan Whitman with this story. Alan and I met in an engineering department in Fort Wayne, Indiana, where we were doing electrical for automotive and trucks. And we're dealing with managers who are not interested in building a good product, but dealing with corporate politics and trying to advance their own careers.
You never making any decisions that might cost them a career choice. So, you know, Whitman and I are, we both have spines and we're more interested in, you know, building a good product and using logic and not really interested in a bunch of bullshit. And for that reason, we kind of gravitated toward each other and became pretty good friends. And Whitman kept talking about the stuff he had back in high school and had used a great effect, it stunk really bad. And that he still had a little bit left and he should bring it in. And I guess at this point, Alan should probably back up to, you know, 15 years previous as to the story of the beginning of what became liquid and his experience.
All right. Well, this is Alan and I actually came up with this in high school completely by accident. And everybody asked me, well, how, you know, how did, how did you create it? Well, I can't get into the details, but I can say that my parents had bought me a chemistry set and I was into sort of mixing things together and checking stuff out. And it just happened to me one day that I came across this stuff that was, it just, it just was so nasty. I thought, man, what if I, what if I took this in the school and played around with it a little bit? And so I did that and it was shocking, you know, with, with the reaction of people when you, when you spray it in a classroom, when everybody's, you know, going crazy and everybody's saying that the the restroom actually smells better than the classroom, those kinds of things.
So had a lot of fun with it there. And then all of my graduated, went to college, became my electrical engineer and had, I didn't use it all those years. And and it wasn't until I got hired into my electrical engineering job where Andrew was, or actually I was there first, he came later. But when he showed up, the the company was, most of the people in there were very disgruntled at the time because we were told basically that we were going to be laid off. Probably we figured it would be about five years that we had left. And so everybody was pretty upset. So I was telling Andrew and a few other friends that I had this stuff I used in high school that I even cleared out a basketball game one time in high school. And they're just sort of looking at me like, yeah, sure you did, whatever. You need to go into the details of the basketball game.
Okay, on the basketball game. So what I ended up doing was being a buddy of mine. We, we grabbed a, I guess it was an Elmer, an old Elmer's glue bottle. So you know how big those are, right?
That's a pretty nice sized bottle. We filled one of those up. And right before the game started, we went into the bathroom in that hallway, the men's bathroom, and they had those old, I guess the radiator style heaters. And I went in there and I dumped that entire bottle into that radiator and you could hear it sizzling and steaming and I took off. So I went back up in the stands over there in the gym and we could see through the doors into the hallway. And it was about half an hour later, I looked down and I see somebody walking by with their with their shirts over there, you know, people with shirts over their faces and they're waving their hands. And I looked at my buddy, I said, Oh man, I said, it must be hitting good. So we went back down there halftime and they had both double doors open on both ends of the hallways. It was snowing outside and that place completely smelled like and we were just, we were just having a great old time.
People trying to figure out what was going on. So I'm telling them about this story, my coworkers, including Andrew, and I think people had doubts. So I was like, all right, well, I actually had some stuff that was at least 15 years old that was in a baby food jar that the lid had actually rusted on. So I carefully got that off without breaking the jar. And sure enough, the stuff still smelled like some like, all right, you know, game on. So I grabbed a visine bottle, rained the tip of it out and filled that baby up and I took it in and we actually had a, let me, let me go back. We need to back up because, well, I mean, he had, he had shared the smell with us and it really was shocking.
Just smelling the bottle. Next thing we're walking by where his manager sits, it's a cubicle area and I'm walking ahead of him. Next thing I know, I hear Whitman go, cover me. And I'm like, I'm confused. I turn around and he's got that, he's got that visine in his both hands.
Like he's almost like he's peeing. That's the, that's the vision I had as far as remembering turning around and seeing Whitman putting full pressure on that visine bottle, aiming it right towards Stinson's office. And you know, this was my first experience of liquid outside the bottle, you know? So, and they, and by the way, they, they had set up a large fan, an industrial fan. They were blowing that crap around a 10,000 square foot design center and that whole place smelled like everybody had their shirts over their faces.
And it was, it was shocking. I remember that worked well, but it worked really well. So he just had a little bit left in that baby food jar. And I remember because we were running out, you added a little alcohol to it. Cause I mean, really, I don't even know if we did what, two operations? It was, it was probably a few, but the problem was is that once we did it, we had to have more because it was so addicting that we couldn't stop doing it. And then the problem was, is that I couldn't remember exactly how to make more.
We're like, how can you not remember? And he goes, well, I know the basics, but there's some, there's some other, you know, like subtle things. The process, there's a process to making it.
And if you don't have that exactly right, it ain't going to happen. That's all I can say. Yeah. So we're, so we're all jonesing for more operations and, uh, you know, trying to get daily updates and finally one day when one comes in, he goes, Oh, I think it's ready.
I think we got it. And we tested it and sure enough. So that set off a, oh man, how long did we do?
Two months, three months, three, four months. Yeah. Of, of basically, um, strategizing of how to create maximum, uh, chaos without drawing too much attention where we would actually get caught.
Um, and so good. So what would happen is that, uh, if I went into the bathroom and, uh, somebody had plugged up a toilet, uh, I'd call in a visual to Andrew, which basically he had some out in his car and then he go out in his car and I tell him, we got a visual and, uh, you know, stall number three building one and, uh, he go get the stuff and then he go ahead and the hell out of it. And, uh, so, so we could, it was hard to get in trouble because, you know, there it is, right? There's the, you know, the block toilet and there, you know, of course the, the, the janitor would come in or whatever. He'd be just, you know, losing his mind going, I don't even understand how this is possibly be in there with the plunger trying to get this down while this overwhelming smell, which is really not from the actual problem, you know, it's actually our stuff.
And, uh, that started being a fun thing. So, you know, we, we'd have times where I'd call in a visual and he'd, he'd hammer Andrew to hammer it. And, uh, we'd come back and they'd have crime scene tape, you know, over the door.
Like this bathroom is closed. I was walking through the area and of course it's, you know, I, it was a day I'd hit a hard and a guy was walking in front of me from another department. And it was obviously, he was very disturbed and our buddy Joe was walking out of his cubicle area and he intersected the guy, you know, the, and the guy stopped and looked at Joe and he goes, what is this?
What is that smell? And Joe goes, I don't know, but it seems to happen every Thursday. And he was dead on.
Right. And I, so I went over to women, I forgot, whatever. Hey, Hey, Hey, it's the next, next operations on Tuesday.
And you're listening to Andrew Masters and Alan Whitman. When we come back, more of these pranksters, these chemistry set experimenters, these funny guys here on our American stories. Wasn't that delicious? So good. Your bill, ladies. I got it.
No, I got it. Seriously, I insist. I insisted first. Oh, don't be silly. You don't be silly.
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Well, I'm calling it liquid assets. You use your imagination. And it all started again with a couple of teenage boys, well, just looking to make each other laugh in the end. We're talking about Andrew Masters and Alan Whitman. Let's return to them for the rest of their smelly and kind of funny story. That was three or four months full of fun there, you know, turning a job we really disliked into a fun time. These were actually days that we did not have to set our alarm for because we'd have a specific day that we would go do it. And you almost couldn't sleep at night. You basically just got up early and just went into work and then started having fun. And at the end of the day, your ribs would hurt.
You'd laugh so hard at the chaos. Yeah, well, laughter is addictive, you know, so the fact that I know I'm going to go into work and just be laughing all day and I definitely didn't need alarm on those days. And I always liked doing pranks in college. I had a fair amount of good ones that I did.
And and oddly enough, one of them was fart spray, which didn't work to my satisfaction. So I threw it away. But after, you know, several months of all this fun, I was like, this is like the best stuff ever. You know, it's like, look at this. You know, it works good. It stinks really bad.
You get a lot of laughs and then you lay off for a couple of days and people forget about it and you press replay. So I told Whitman, I said, look, I said, this is the best stuff I have ever used. I said, we can sell this. You know, women's like, yeah, probably good, you know. And now the one of the problems was we were both looking at getting out of engineering.
I was working on a master's degree in math to get into teaching college math. And Whitman was looking at starting a car wash his own business. So, you know, so there was there was when you know that when you know the end is near, you know, you start coming up with ideas, you try to try to figure something out because there was nothing else in the town that we were in. So we were all going to have to move one way or another. Something was going to going to change. So so when Andrew came up and decided that we needed to do this, I said, all right, let's just do it. We'll go 50 50. We'll just see where it goes in parallel with other things that I was doing.
And then he was doing. We just decided we'll just sort of we'll sort of see how that plays out. And, you know, and it did take quite a long time, a lot longer than we thought, I guess, because there's a lot more to it when you get in. It seems like, well, I'm just putting liquid in a bottle. But then you got to figure out what kind of bottle, what shape a bottle, what what materials the bottle made out of, what kind of mystery are you going to use?
You know, how many milliliters is it going to put out? You know, where do we get a label? Yeah. How do you put the label on?
What's the artwork look like and what's the name? Yeah, so well, the name is a funny part. Yeah, the name was probably one of the easiest things we did. You know, it was a big mystery as far as, well, how do you pick a good name? You know, we're not you know, I've learned and doing my own, you know, and starting our own business here, I've learned one thing is that if you're a marketer, you you chain smoke and you have a ponytail.
You know, so we don't do either. Yeah. So I can remember walking into the conference room, shutting the door and Whitman was halfway sitting down and he goes, so what are we going to call it? And I said, I don't know. What are you thinking?
And as he's sitting down, he goes, he goes like liquid. And I said, that's it. It's got a ring to it.
Let's just go with it. So we went out. We decided that we'd we'd find all the radio stations in the country that had crazy morning shows.
We decided to send them samples with a little note. And there was about four or five of those stations where we did really well. We would get we got a surge in sales, but then it would it would, you know, die off again to practically zero until one day I was reading an article about a guy named. Well, he goes by his radio. His name is Bubba the Love Sponge. And it was in the local Fort Wayne paper because this guy was his hometown was two counties over. So I was so I was reading the article about him and I looked up his mailing address. I remember I remember packing that box. I can still remember it this day because I put six bottles in there and send it to him and never heard anything from him until all of a sudden Whitman's like, hey, our web page is down because we've got something's going on.
We've got so much traffic to shut our web page down. And it comes to find out that Bubba the Love Sponge and I can't remember his real name, but he was actually using it on a show as a punishment for someone who did something stupid. Usually their cell phone would go off while they're on the air. What they would do is if somebody if somebody screwed up on the air, cell phone went off or did some something else stupid they weren't supposed to do. They went on liquid alert. And once they were on liquid alert, if they screwed up one more time, then they would take him in the room and, you know, in the studio there when they would the hell out of them. And of course, this this was on serious satellite and it comes on right before Howard Stern.
It was on Howard 101 Channel. So it went nationwide. And these guys did us a real favor by basically, you know, using this probably for three or four months, three or four months, three or four months advertising.
And I have to thank old Bubba. He got us on the map because that put us over the top where we actually were making enough that, well, we don't need a day job anymore. It'd be rough.
You know, it'd be tight, but we would make it. We spent two years and then we couldn't really get out of just doing an interview and having 20 orders and then it go back to zero within a week. We we just couldn't get the thing to stick for whatever reason. But once Bubba started talking about it on a daily basis and that started a floor where we actually had something in it, it didn't go away and it started growing slowly.
Yeah. You know, and then I think the next year was when Amazon picked us up and then we didn't definitely need a day job. That worked out great, because that's about a few months after that's when we got laid off. I remember telling Whitman, I said, I just can't stop smiling.
I just I'm like, I just can't stop smiling. You know, when when Amazon picked us up and we got another boost to the point where I was almost making the same as my engineering salary. Doing a quarter of the work, by the way. Yeah, I guess we can start talking about our customers now. Well, there's some customer stories.
Yeah, we can. Yeah, there's there's quite a few customer stories and we've we've had people that that actually used it in their bubble juice for a for a wedding. You know, when they blow bubbles, you know, they mix the bubble juice with the liquid and they're blowing bubbles as the bride and groom come down the aisle, you know, with this juice, which I thought that was sort of clever. People are putting in putting it in balloons and blowing the balloons up.
So when they pop, it smells like this. This is one that was in particular sort of strange. And this was sort of early on. So we were we were probably only selling it for maybe a couple of years at that point. This guy calls me up and he wants to order. And OK, that's cool. But it's obvious that he used it before.
And at that point we hadn't you know, we didn't have tons of customers. So I said, so I just asked him, so it sounds like you've used the product before. He says, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I use it because I mean, I guess I need I need more, but I need it real, real soon here or whatever, you know? And it's like, well, I said so apparently had some success with us.
What did you do? And he was sort of hesitant to tell me. And he's like, all right, I'll tell you. And he starts the story off. He had bought our product and he had it laying around. And he was in the process of of moving to a new a new city. He had to get his utility set up.
He calls up and it had been like two or three weeks. His wife is complaining that they don't have the power on yet. Well, he's a contractor and he has one of the special keys. He's got a way to get in to the box to turn the power on. So he turns the power on himself. Well, he only gets a that the next day the power company actually shows up. They see this turned off or turned on and he ends up getting it fine from the power company because he had he had screwed around with the box and that's illegal.
And he's not allowed to do that. So he's like, all right, well, I'm going to pay this bill and I'm pissed off because, you know, they should have done this for me anyways sooner. So he takes he he writes a check and he coats it with liquid and he sort of lets it dry. So he goes over to what sort of looks like a bank teller set up with that vacuum tube and they leave.
So so they take off. Well, the following day, the police the police call him up and the the cop when he goes in the office, the cops got like an evidence baggy and it's got his check in it. And they're claiming that this that this bank or went at the bank with this the co-op or whatever is now shut the entire system down, shut the entire building down. They've got tape all the way around the building or whatever. It looks like a crime scene and they can't open it up because the whole freaking building smells like. And the teller apparently is claiming that she's quitting because she claims that she's handled feces or you can't make this up. So cops like, well, because here's the deal, because we're going to send this in for analysis and we've got feces, you're going to jail, you're in trouble or whatever. He's like, well, you go and test it all you want, because I didn't do that. Ultimately, what happened was is that they came back clean.
They couldn't do anything about it. And at the end of the day, he said, what what could I have done that would have got them back? And I said, and I looked, I guess, and I said, well, now you're ordering more. He's like, yeah, because I got some other business to take care of.
I said, all right, we'll send you a couple of extra bottles. Have a good day, you know, and we recommend, you know, it's a prank product. It's not to to go out there and destroy people. But every once in a while, I guess that happens. You know, we we like to say that we make the gun, we don't shoot it. So, you know, at your at your own risk, I guess.
But most of the time, people are just having fun with it. And God, there's tons of YouTube videos out there. And we started making a few YouTube videos until the YouTubers outdid us. And so now our customers are doing, you know, better videos than we could even dream of. So if you ever go out there, you go out there and look at YouTube and type liquid.
You'll see really good stuff out there. Andrew Masters story, Alan Whitman story, liquid assets story here on our American stories. Ah, and here we have travelers in their natural habitat enjoying guaranteed 4 p.m. checkout at fine hotels and resorts booked through Amex Travel.
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