From Foster Care to Adoption - A Broken Hallelujah

Tis the season of making the perfect wish list and the perfect playlist with Bose QuietComfort Ultra Earbuds and Headphones. Breakthrough immersive audio uses spatialized sound to bring your fave holiday classics to life. And world class noise cancellation ensures a not so typical silent night and an epic holiday party of warmth. It's everything music should make you feel taken to new holiday highs.

Visit Bose.com forward slash I heart this holiday season and shop sound that's more than just a present. What up? It's dramas from the life as a gringo podcast.

We are back with a brand new season. Now, life as a gringo speaks to Latinos who are born or raised here in the States. It's about educating and breaking those generational curses that men have been holding us back for far too long. I'm here to discuss the topics that are relevant to all of us and to define what it means to live as our true, authentic self.

Listen to life as a gringo on the I heart radio app, Apple podcast or wherever you get your podcasts brought to you by State Farm. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there at Ford. We pride ourselves on building strong, capable vehicles, but we're only as strong as the people who drive them. People like you who don't just see an F-150, but see what they can build with it. Because built Ford proud. It's a pact between us, our drivers and what we can do together. Built Ford proud.

Some models, trims and features may not be available or may be subject to change. This is our American stories. And as you know, we love bringing you adoption and foster care stories. There are four hundred thousand children in the foster care system waiting to be loved by a family.

It begs the question, what could each one of us do to help these children? Which brings us to Kimberly McCullough and her story. It was a happy day.

The sun was shining and the courtroom was filled with dressed up, smiling people showing up for a little girl and a growing family. What was clear from the very beginning of her life was that what started in tragedy would not end that way. She would never be alone. And she was so deeply loved by so many people during foster care training.

The goal of reunification was impressed upon us with other importance and urgency. Children belong with their parents. And when that isn't possible with extended family, after those possibilities are exhausted. Ideally, the foster parents will be given an opportunity to adopt the child. If they cannot, other foster families will be asked if no family is found, they could end up in a group home.

The one thing I pray for the most as a foster parent is the assurance of knowing that wherever my foster children end up, they will be loved, safe and will know they are worthy of belonging. We walked into the courtroom and took a seat, only to stand right back up when the judge asked all the family members to come to the front. My instinct was to stay seated, but I was her mom too, even if only for six months. Her soon to be forever mama waved us up.

I knew she would. They were already like family. But being a foster mom means I'm always careful, cautious, not wanting to make assumptions about my place. She spent the first 40 days of her life in the NICU before she was finally discharged and we could bring her home. We met her forever parents very early on and knew from the beginning they would become her parents, even before anything had been decided. We spent six months getting to know them, first through visits at the county offices, then in our home for dinner. We heard their story. We felt their devotion to their family. We watched them drive two hours anytime they could to see her.

They quickly became friends. In record time, she was able to move in with them at seven months old while they pursued adoption. We were thankful to get a chapter in the story God was writing for their family. Finally, at 21 months old, her adoption was getting finalized. And even though I said it was a happy day, adoption is never that simple. The best description I've ever heard of adoption is that it's a broken hallelujah. Adoption starts with loss, the loss of biological parents.

This is a trauma many, if not all adopted children will carry with them forever, no matter when the loss occurred. We walked up to the front of the courtroom and she finally noticed us, or rather my son. A family member was holding her and as soon as she saw him, she wriggled down and embraced him. And my oldest baby, my big five-year-old, my miracle baby, he lifted her up with ease and they stayed just like that, giving each other squeezes and kisses like a brother and sister should.

They hadn't seen each other in over a month, but it was like no time had passed. I looked at my daughter, too young to understand what was going on, but knowing how important it was that she witnessed this, to see in action what we experienced with her two years before. And I see my husband and our tiny one and a half month old foster daughter fast asleep in his arms. My eyes filled with tears. This is hard, but it's beautiful and it's worth it.

They are worth it. A broken hallelujah. Fast forward one year, we find ourselves explaining the transition plan to our children again. Her time with us was quickly coming to an end. I tell my now five-year-old daughter, this is our last week with her, on Monday morning she leaves for good.

You mean for bad, she replies. She understands what's happening this time. Our foster daughter is 13 months old and had been with us since birth. She's as much a part of our family as every other member.

Her joy fills every room. Her snuggles could melt the coldest of hearts. Yet, what we had experienced in the last eight months, I wouldn't wish on my greatest enemy. Her case had been drawn out due to strange and unexpected complications.

Then COVID hit and it just got worse. The hardest part was that she was the one who lost, as much as we wanted her to be a permanent member of our family. Every day she spent with us was a day she should be with her forever family. The turmoil of the last year resulted in countless sleepless nights, anxiety-ridden days, anger that made me sick to my stomach and so many tears shed for our baby girl. Every time I got a call from someone on her case, it took all my mental and emotional energy not to panic. This was our hardest case to date. But even on the hardest days, I could turn on her favorite song, watch her giggle and dance with my big kids, and knew I would do it all again if I could just take one ounce of the pain away from her. This is hard in ways we can't put into words, but it's beautiful and it's worth it.

They are worth it. I grew up wanting to adopt. I remember as a child wondering why on earth anyone with an extra room wouldn't want to be a family for a child who doesn't have one.

It made no sense to me. I married my high school sweetheart. We were kindred old souls and connected on a deep level right from the beginning. When we started dating at 15, we just knew in our gut we'd be together forever.

Our faith brought us closer together and kept us together through college. He knew early on that adoption was going to be in my future, and he didn't run away scared. Little did I know that my heart was growing for foster care, too. On our first anniversary, at the mature age of 22, we became the temporary legal guardians of a family member who was 15 at the time. Seven months of caring for her changed us. We saw how much good change could happen in someone's life in a stable family setting with a strong support system surrounding us.

The community from our church were all in for this journey. We made some incredible memories, had amazing breakthroughs, cried and prayed so much together, and naturally made many mistakes. It was hard, probably the hardest thing I had done at that point in my life, but it was worth it.

She was worth it. After that, we knew foster care was going to be a part of our lives. Our plan, like you can plan these things, was to have a biological child first and then foster.

But a major health scare, multiple surgeries, and two years of infertility made us rethink the plan. We didn't want to waste time hoping for a miracle we were never promised, so we decided that we shouldn't delay any longer and signed up for foster care training. During our first week of training, we found out we were pregnant with our miracle baby, but our social worker didn't seem phased. She said that's always what happens and encouraged us to continue getting licensed, so we did.

Fast forward almost two years. Our son is 13 months old, and we finally got our foster care license. Two weeks go by, and we got our first call. It's a baby girl. She was born yesterday and will be discharged from the hospital tomorrow. It's just until we find her family, maybe a few weeks, can we come pick her up?

That's in 12 hours. I wanted to say yes, but I'm terrified. I turned to my husband. His face says it all.

How could we say no? From the moment we saw her in the hospital, we were smitten. She was beautiful and dainty and oh so tiny. My son was instantly in love, and I got to witness the sweetest little bond formed between the two of them. It was a strange sensation from my heart to grow in love for a little baby that I didn't know existed the week before.

As the weeks unfold, what was supposed to be a temporary placement was clearly becoming long term. We find out more about where she came from, the circumstances of her birth. How she survived it all can only be explained because God spared her life.

My second miracle baby. She proved herself to be a fighter with survival skills through the roof. She was climbing on top of the kitchen table before she could walk, taught herself to get dressed by the age of two, and learned to pick locks not long after that. Her hilarious style and silly and mischievous personality kept us entertained and rather busy through her toddler years.

By the time we adopted her, five days before her second birthday, it really was just a piece of paper making legal what was already our reality. She was our daughter, my son's sister. She belonged with us, and it felt like she had always been a part of our family. Her biological father was involved from the beginning. He did everything he could to fight for his baby girl. He stayed in her life even after he gave us his blessing to adopt her. They had a sweet relationship up until his death last May.

Their picture sits in her room, and she keeps a photo album of the two of them in her bed so she can look at their pictures whenever she misses him. A broken hallelujah. I'll be honest, after losing two foster daughters, I pause at the thought of fostering again. I understand why some families would hesitate to get too attached to a child just to have their hearts broken. And I understand even more the desire to keep hard things away from our children. But I've seen my children's capacity to love in the midst of brokenness. I've seen them say yes to hard things because their hearts are just so big.

The kind of big you only get when you're aware of the suffering around you. That's the kind of human I want to be and I want to raise. And even though I pause at the thought, we're not done. There's so many more little humans that need love. It is hard, but it's beautiful and it's worth it. They're all worth it.

The story of Kim McCullough, a real beauty, one of our very best, here on Our American Stories. Visit bows.com forward slash iHeart this holiday season and shop sound. That's more than just a present. Hey, hey, holiday you here. You know me, I'm all put down that protein shake and bring on the pumpkin spice lattes with extra whip. Regular you might skip the blueberry pie and worry about staining your teeth. But with Colgate Optic White Pro Series toothpaste, twice daily brushing removes 15 years of stains in two weeks.

So grab another glass of bread and raise it up because regular you can live life to the brightest all year long. Colgate Optic White Pro Series toothpaste. Find it at all major retailers. Luckyland Casino asking people what's the weirdest place you've gotten lucky. Lucky? In line at the deli, I guess.

In my dentist's office. More than once, actually. Do I have to say?

Yes, you do. In the car before my kids' PTA meeting. Really?

Yes. Excuse me, what's the weirdest place you've gotten lucky? I never win until... Well, there you have it. You can get lucky anywhere playing at luckylandslots.com. Play for free right now. Are you feeling lucky?