What Happens to Children When They Age Out of the Foster Care System?

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Tomcat kills prevents. Make sure rat problem go away. This is Lee Habib and this is our American Stories, the show where America is the star and the American people. And we love your stories. Our listeners stories. Please send them to our American stories.com.

Click the Your Stories tab. You're about to hear from Paul Blaven, a man who had a cause put on his heart and who wasted no time responding to it. You'll hear the story of how he went from workaholism on Wall Street to retiring to do the kind of work that he felt could truly make a difference.

Here's Paul. I grew up in Southfield, Michigan, which is a suburb right outside of Detroit. My community was a middle class, predominantly Jewish community that was very focused on education and careers. We were on the lower socioeconomic side of our community. My father struggled with mental illness, which manifested in criminal behavior. And he was actually arrested for the first time when I was 11 and I was the paper boy.

I delivered newspapers in my community and it was on the front page of the paper I delivered. So it was really traumatic. And it also had a big impact, obviously, on our family in terms of finances. So the impact it had on me was that I decided that I really wanted to be independent, that I didn't want to be a burden on my mother and that I wanted to establish myself as a reputable, accomplished person. I'm sure my thoughts were a little different at the age of 11, but that was the direction I put myself on.

So that was highly motivating and I was driven a lot by fear. I got my first job delivering newspapers when I was about 11 and then started my first business when I was 15. And then my first real business where I had a business card and it was entering into contracts for corporations and things like that when I was 16.

And that was renting out movie theaters and promoting midnight movie shows. I wasn't going to go to college, but through guilt and logic, my mom convinced me that that would be an important step. And so I decided to go to college. I applied only to one university, the University of Michigan in Ann Arbor, and fortunately was granted admission and I treated that like a job.

I was, my friends still make fun of me. I mean, I was in the library all the time because in my mind, I could either be working and being productive in that way or I could be focused on my studies and performing there. And so I ended up towards the top of my class there at Michigan near perfect grades and was fortunate to get an opportunity because of that, I think, to work on Wall Street. And so I was able to go to Wall Street right out of the University of Michigan and I was an investment banker and that changed the trajectory of my life in a significant way. Like many things in my life, like the most important things in my life, in hindsight, it wasn't my will. So what I mean by that is I was a workaholic.

I had my own business and was still very driven to succeed on behalf of my investors and myself. And I was on a business trip and uncharacteristically, I decided to read a pleasure book. And the pleasure book I picked up was a book called A Child Called It, an autobiography written by Dave Pelser. And it's his life story from the age of zero to about 12. And in the book, it is harrowing to read about the incredible abuse that he endured at the hands of his mother, who was mentally ill and also an alcoholic.

And I was just floored by it. And, you know, it opened my eyes to child abuse and, you know, gratefully. And it opened my eyes to how grateful I am that, you know, I was blessed to have two loving parents.

Imperfect as we all are, but and loving. And I was never abused and I was never abused verbally or physically. And I came to realize after reading Dave's story, how lucky I was. And there by the grace of God, you know, go I. And what really broke me up reading the book was when Dave said that, you know, the best day of his childhood is when he went to school and the police were there and the principal told them, you don't have to go home anymore.

You're being placed into foster care. And I just couldn't handle that. It was just struck me to the core.

And I ended up finishing the book, arriving back home from that business trip. And in the newspaper, we were living in Phoenix at the time. And the Arizona Republic was a story about a kid just like Dave Pelser. He was 12 years old and he was in foster care because his mother had kept him locked in a closet and abused him. And he was 80 pounds and he was in foster care. And it said, if you want to help kids like this that are in foster care, here's a local organization and here's their phone number.

So I immediately called that number. And within a couple weeks, I was officially on the board of the Arizona Friends of Foster Children Foundation. And in that organization, we would give out small grants on average about 200, 250 dollars for things that my children took for granted, like karate lessons or tutoring or a trip to Disney or a first bicycle, things like that. And after about six months on the board, I realized that the foundation also had a scholarship fund for college. And I started looking more closely at that fund and came to see that very, very, very few of those scholarship recipients were actually graduating college.

And that's what opened my eyes to the whole need for a more comprehensive program. So that's where, how the seeds for the Blavon Scholars program were planted. And you've been listening to Paul Blavon share his story, his early life, some early traumas, his father being arrested, his entrepreneurial spirit tapped early, independence is what he wanted, his success at the University of Michigan and Wall Street.

But this is one book, what he thought was a pleasure book, but was a transformational book. When we come back, more of Paul Blavon's story here on Our American Stories. And go to the donate button and help us keep the great American stories coming.

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See app for details. And we return to our American stories and to Paul Blavon, founder of the Blavon Scholars Program, which all started because of a book Paul read about a child in foster care. Let's return to Paul with more of his story. I was really fortunate to connect with leaders in the field of foster care and post-secondary education, including an amazing man named Ron Davis, who I think is one of the first people in the country to establish a holistic support program for youth who had experienced foster care to pursue post-secondary education. And Ron had started something called the Guardian Scholars, which started out at Cal State Fullerton, and he was kind enough to spend a lot of time with me, telling me what needed to happen to be successful in this area.

I took Ron's advice and his inspiration and proposed such a program at my alma mater, the University of Michigan, and then we began. It's shocking how poorly we treat youth who are the most vulnerable that are in families that are not functioning in a manner that's healthy for their children. So as a society, we have made a decision that we're going to intervene for the protection of these children and the system is called foster care. And in the United States this year, I would estimate that close to a million children will be touched by this system we call foster care. And at any given time, about half of those children, close to 500,000, are in the system.

So that means that they've been removed from their home in some way and placed in the custody of the state. Our system oftentimes fails these children. And when I measure failure, what I'm speaking about is providing these children with an opportunity to thrive as adults, to have nurturing, functional childhoods. And I'm not making the statement that that happens to all children in the system. What I am saying, however, is that when you look at the statistics of what happens to children once they age out of this system, the statistics are shockingly poor. Less than 4% of youth who age out of foster care here in the United States end up getting a four-year college degree.

75%, roughly, of the women are pregnant by the age of 21. A quarter experience homelessness within two years of aging out of the system. And if you do a survey, which have been done in many states, of the incarcerated population, you're going to find that a very disproportionate percentage of those who are currently incarcerated in the United States have been touched by this foster care system. In the state of Michigan, close to 50% of those who are incarcerated have been touched by the foster care system at any given time.

So it's really sad. And when my wife and I found out about this system, we decided we wanted to try our best to try to make a difference in the lives of kids who were exposed to the system. You know, we have good days and we have growth days, and I realize that now. And all of my growth has come through challenges, not from happy times. When I first met my wife, and as we got serious, I had told her that, you know, business and career was my thing.

And if we were blessed to have children, that was going to be her thing. And that's the depth of my tunnel vision, imbalance, fear of failure, you know, is kind of all manifested in that one statement. And interestingly, our first child was pretty easy. And so therefore, you know, I thought I could actually continue to operate that matter.

The second child was a lot more challenging. And it was those challenges that led me to eventually realize how ridiculous that statement was. Gratefully, I realized that, and that began a journey of change in my life, which really came about in a significant way through intensive psychotherapy. So once I started really opening up and looking at, I guess, from a more broad perspective at my life and my priorities and my behaviors, that really had a big impact on me. And I realized that I needed to change, that I wanted to change, that I was on a too narrow of a path. And if I continued to do what I was doing, which was, you know, quote unquote successful in terms of, you know, my career and my business, it wouldn't lead to success in, you know, being a father, a husband, and really a loving and light-filled human being, member of society. So yeah, that was 2009 when I, you know, came to that realization and that changed my life because I actually decided that I was going to retire from the career that I had and return all of the money that I was managing for my investors and focus on my family, focus on being a human being rather than a human doing. And I had no idea what incredible things would come out of that. There was no plan other than to change and not focus on business like I had been.

So many things happened as a result of that, that I could never have anticipated, all good. And that includes the Blavon Scholars Program because up to that point, while we had the program, I hadn't been very involved in it, meaning I wasn't developing relationships with our scholars and so on. The Blavon Scholars Program is holistic. From the moment a scholar is accepted into our program, we go to work, beginning with moving in essentials. So oftentimes our scholars come to campus without, you know, parental support to move in, without funding and belongings really that you need to live as a college student. So we, as a program, help them move in, help them with their move in essentials. And we actually have a wonderful church group that provides move in essentials for each of our scholars. And we have a food pantry at the Blavon Scholars office in Ann Arbor for food when it's running low. And then we have a program director and coaches that are full-time with our program who connect one-on-one and are there 24-7 for each of our scholars when they're in need. And they're there for them the entire time that our scholars are enrolled in school and even after, you know, because they come back as alums. And then we have programming throughout the year for our scholars, whether it's financial literacy, career programming and internships, helping them find internships, helping our scholars write resumes, cover letters, how to network.

And this is an area of increasing focus for us. Tutoring, psychological counseling, we provide emergency funding. So if the scholar, you know, is facing some financial hardship, we can help soften that blow and bridge that gap. We have twice as many faculty mentors that have volunteered to be mentors of our scholars as we have scholars. You know, oftentimes our scholars do not have places to go during the holidays when the campus is emptying out and our program does provide for year-round housing. So, you know, money and scholarship is not the secret sauce by any measure. What is the secret sauce is connection and community and support.

And you've been listening to a remarkable story by Paul Blavin, moving from success and workaholism to significance and real purpose. And my goodness, foster care kids, will they come out? The statistics are so grim. We've been there, my wife and I, on many occasions with such kids, and they need so much. Actually, they need what all kids need. And I always ask people, imagine what your life would be like without parents who helped you with all of these things. And that's where Paul's scholarship program comes in.

It's not just money for school, it's money for a life and the building of an independent and good life. When we come back, more of Paul Blavin's remarkable life story here on Our American Stories. Fathom Events presents the film event of the year.

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See app for details. And we return to Our American Stories and to Paul Blaven, former Wall Street workaholic turned founder of the Blaven Scholars Program, which provides support and community to foster care youth who have aged out of the system. Let's return to Paul with the rest of the story. Because I had left the business world and was more open to engaging in a hands-on way with our Blaven Scholars, my wife and I have, you know, developed relationships with many of the Scholars because we were on campus fairly frequently and and we get to know our Scholars and it just so happened that there were a few that we get much closer than others. The first Blaven Scholar to express interest in becoming a medical doctor was a young man named Joseph Sedlak, who my wife and I met 13 years ago as a freshman and we stood in awe as Joseph went four years as a biomedical engineering major with near perfect grades graduating summa cum laude sitting for the MCAT in 2013 and scoring the hundredth percentile top in the country. And this is a young man who overcame incredible obstacles very similar to Dave Pelzer really.

So it was a miracle that even got to the University of Michigan let alone performed so strongly. We got to know Joseph right away. So as a freshman and you know over the subsequent years Joseph was with us for family holidays and you know, he just he came into our hearts. It was sort of a natural progression to want to adopt Joseph and you know, Joseph's been with me for many important very important things in my life including coming to faith on August 7th 2016 in Kenya and traveled the world with our family and we decided to formally adopt and Joseph of course is also my business partner.

It's really remarkable. Our son Joseph came to me in April 2018 while he was a MD PhD student at Harvard with an idea that was he thought was very compelling and he wanted to share with me and that idea was a novel approach for the early detection of cancer with a blood test and Joseph had dedicated his academic career and his career in general to serving those with cancer and helping relieving suffering and saving lives and he had determined that in order to have the biggest impact he believed focusing on early cancer detection when cancer can actually be cured had the greatest promise and so Joseph had an idea for a novel approach for the early detection of cancer and he discussed it with me and I hadn't had a life science class since 10th grade. For my career, I was a disciple of Warren Buffett and Benjamin Graham and others who practiced value investing and staying within a circle of competence that in my case definitely excluded technology, biotechnology, the exact type of thing that Joseph was proposing but, you know, fortunately I had retired and was different, you know, I changed and so I encouraged Joseph to take an authorized leave of absence if he could get it from Harvard Medical School to pursue this idea and I backed him financially. Joseph was courageous enough to take the authorized leave and go for it and Joseph and a team of two scientists turned Joseph's, literally Joseph's idea, hypothesis into a practical test and we now have a team of about 25 people just outside of Boston and we have a patented approach that is novel and is powerful for the early detection of cancer and this really is a David versus Goliath story because Goliath in this case is, there are several companies that have raised billions and billions of dollars to pursue a blood test for the early detection of cancer and they're all using a different approach that would not pick up enough early cancer cases to be clinically meaningful and Joseph's idea was a different approach that he believed would be more clinically meaningful for early cancer detection and it's proving out to be true. So we have a team of 25 people outside of Boston. We just completed our Series A financing and we raised over 41 million dollars.

So we've raised almost close to 70 million dollars since inception and we think we can save lives through the blood test by detecting cancer early when it can be cured. You know, and this all came about from the Blavon Scholars Program and the miracle that is Joseph. I met D'Anco who's our son as well and right away there was just a connection, a strong connection and D'Anco has the distinction of being the only Blavon Scholar to play football at the University of Michigan and when I met D'Anco he was a 21 year old transfer student. He had attended a junior college and had transferred into the University of Michigan and right away he told me my dream has always been to play football at the University of Michigan and now I'm here and the athletic department is telling me I will never be academically eligible to play and that did not sit well with me.

So it was literally within I think 72 hours. I was sitting in a room with D'Anco and the head of student life an amazing woman named Royster Harper and we came up with a plan. It was a very hard plan for D'Anco to get through because it required a tremendous amount of progress studying of academic achievement. It was really like threading a needle, but you know D'Anco was determined and by God he did it, you know, he checked every box and D'Anco had the opportunity to try out and he made the team and he was academically eligible.

Wow, that's amazing. And so eventually, you know, again another natural connection that led to us adopting D'Anco and he is our chosen son too. And then there's a third Blavon Scholar we're moving towards legal adoption right now. So to the extent that one of our scholars wants to become part of our family, of course, we're very open to it and each of our scholars really does have an incredibly inspiring story. What is your faith? My faith plays an increasingly important role in my life. You know, when I look back on my life, I see very clearly that it's really God's will that has had the biggest impact on my life, not my will.

You know, there are many things that look like they're just serendipity, but I don't believe in that. Everything good in my life has come from having an open heart and keeping a check on my ego, leading with humility, leading with an open heart and being open to God's will as opposed to my will. And you've been listening to Paul Blavon. What a transformation in his life from this Wall Street workaholic to a guy who ends up saying at the close of his own story, everything good in my life has come from leading with an open heart and leading with God's will, not mine.

I don't think Paul could have imagined saying that sentence when he was 21, let alone 30. And that's the beautiful thing about life if you're open to it. I also love that he said there are good days and growth days and that we all learn most from challenges.

Notice he didn't say good days and bad days. Great way to look at life's problems as opportunity. And my goodness, the heart he has for people, he adopts not one but two and he's on his way to three adopted children, grown children. And this we do a lot on this show adoption, one of the most beautiful self-sacrificial acts of love a human being can perform for another. Paul Blavon's story we hope inspires others to do the same here on Our American Stories. Fathom Events presents the film event of the year.

North Korea has oppressed their own people for over 70 years. In a land of fear, one pastor is the key to a family's chance at freedom. He's a man of God doing the people's work. Critics are calling Beyond Utopia a real-life geopolitical thriller. Winner of the 2023 Sundance Audience Award. Beyond Utopia in theaters October 23rd and 24th only.

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