I'm The Dentist In The Wheelchair

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They're some of our favorites. Overcoming physical tragedy is no small task and it's important to hear stories of those that live everyday life well and beautifully with a handicap. Today we have Hayden Perkins' story. Hayden lives here in Oxford with his wife Jessica, his three college-aged sons and four-year-old daughter.

Here's Hayden. I'm a pediatric dentist so I went to a couple of extra years, two extra years of training after dental school. And then I went through the whole board certification and stuff like that.

So I'm board certified. I grew up in a little small town, a little small farm town called Hollendale, Mississippi over in the Delta. One of my earliest memories was my dad. There's an old cemetery on Lake Washington outside of Glen Island. I pretty much grew up out there. My grandparents owned a lot of farmland around there.

And so we were on Lake Washington. My dad's aunts both lived on Lake Washington. His mother died during childbirth. And so his aunts basically raised him and so they lived out there.

So he took care of them as he got older. But when I was like maybe like 18 months old, his father died. And I remember I probably like two and a half or three, but being at the cemetery and, you know, throwing a ball or something like that and then him hugging me and crying. And that was probably like my, probably the earliest memory. My mom was kind of the disciplinarian.

She was very, very tough. We didn't have like big family discussions and things like that. But we were close enough to her, you know, if we were having a problem, you know, we could, my parents were just working and busy. But certainly later in life, you know, after I got hurt and things like that, that definitely helped me open up to them a lot more, you know, about things. I was 15 years old. It was November 9th, 1991.

And I'm just sitting in the living room or something. And my best friend, Jessica Sullivan, she had this little mutt dog named Rascal and it didn't have any hair. I mean, it was just, I mean, it probably should have been put down years before all this happened. But her dad was a farmer and he found it running around the farm one day and brought it home. One problem it has, it had seizures all the time. And so she called me crying, freaking out.

Rascal's having a seizure. Can you take me to the vet? Yeah, I'll come get you. So she didn't have her license yet. So I went and got her and dropped her off.

And we went to the vet and then her boyfriend, his name was Duke McCrory, dropped her off at her boyfriend's house. I headed home and I stopped in Wayside, got some gas and some chips or something. And that's, I think that's when I remember I didn't put my seatbelt back on. And I was driving a Mitsubishi Montero.

It was kind of a newer vehicle, kind of the new thing Mitsubishi was putting out. It was a SUV, but they were real tall and boxy. It was a kind of overcast, real windy. I got about four or five miles down the road. And I think I reached down to change the radio station or something. And a big gust of wind hit me and blew me off the road. And when I tried to come back on, there was a big lip when I tried to come back on.

And they think like the front tire blew out or it just caught. And so I just turned sideways and just started flipping. And I went out the windshield, bounced down the road a couple hundred yards and ended up in a ditch. It was a vehicle coming towards me that stopped. And then just by some miracle, there was a sheriff about two miles behind me.

And he started out as an EMT. And so when they found me, I was in a ditch. I was completely, my body was completely contorted and twisted. So, and I wasn't breathing because my diaphragm, I mean, you can't breathe like that. And he knew to, he told the other guy to grab my legs and he grabbed my shoulders and they just, you know, they just wrenched me back. And as soon as they did, they said, you know, I started breathing. And I kind of came to and, and I was kind of in and out, you know, laying there. But I did, I did remember sitting up, you know, and then realizing, you know, and trying to just get up and realizing, you know, I couldn't breathe. I couldn't move my legs.

And so I just laid back down and ended up taking me to the hospital in Greenville and then transporting me to Jackson. You know, you go through a denial stage for a while and the, you know, the doctors don't want to, don't want to tell you, you know, it's, it's 100%. It's permanent. It's, you know, you're never going to walk again.

You know, so they always try to give you some good things. And there are people that get hurt and six months after and a year after, you know, they start getting, you know, movement and filmmaking stuff. But so there was always that, that hope, that prayer, like, please, let me start feeling, let me start walking. You know, it was a couple of, probably a couple of years before I gave up on that. But it was tough in a sense that, you know, you're, you're 15.

I think I was more embarrassed about being in a wheelchair. I mean, I remember my parents taking me back to school, you know, about my first day going back to school. It was just, it was just tough.

And you can only imagine what that must be like. And we love telling these stories because you hear them right from the person themselves. And I know Hayden, he's my daughter's dentist and he doesn't know it, but the guy is one of my heroes, the way he's lived his life. And when we come back, we'll continue with Hayden Perkins story after these messages, this is our American story. Folks, if you love the great American stories we tell and love America like we do, we're asking you to become a part of the Our American Stories family. If you agree that America is a good and great country, please make a donation. A monthly gift of $17 and 76 cents is fast becoming a favorite option for supporters. Go to our American stories.com now and go to the donate button and help us keep the great American stories coming.

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Listen to Echoes of History Baghdad Soundwalks on iHeart radio or wherever you get your podcasts. And we continue with our American stories. And we've been listening to Hayden Perkins story. He's a pediatric dentist right here in Oxford, Mississippi, where we broadcast. We left off with Hayden telling us about his car accident that had led him to his life without the use of his legs.

We return to Hayden. You know, you're 15 and you're dating girls and that part was kind of hard in the beginning, I guess. Now, you know, I, my support base was awesome. My friends were awesome to school, everybody. I mean, you know, my friends never, you know, skipped a beat. They didn't allow me to not be involved and, you know, not do things.

I mean, they just grabbed me, picked me up, throw me in the boat, you know, before going hunting. And, you know, that was a big help because it was just, you know, that first year or two, probably my freshman and sophomore year where, you know, I just had a tough time, but something, I guess, just kind of clicked and I basically was like, you know what, you can sit around feeling sorry for yourself and wishing, you know, what have been, you know, what could have been and whatever, or you can move on and make the best of it. I kind of did. And I never looked back really. A lot of people can't get over it, can't get past things like that. And I was just able to, and I have people ask me all the time, you know, I guess, hang around about if you could change things with me.

And honestly, I wouldn't, I wouldn't go back and change it. It just, I think it kind of makes me, made me who I am. It's who I am.

I'm, you know, Maiden Perkins, I'm the guy in the wheelchair. I mean, it just, I just, and I don't, I can't tell you the last time I thought about it. I mean, it's just a part of me, you know, I might, if I'm rolling around, I get, you know, my front wheel gets stuck on a rug or something and I, you know, I kind of fall forward or something, you know, I might cuss and blow the rug around, but I don't, I don't think, you know, God, if it wasn't for the stupid wheelchair, if I wasn't in this wheelchair, I mean, that never comes into play. It's just a part of me. I don't see, it's like when I, when I see somebody else in a wheelchair, I think that person's in a wheelchair, but I don't, I never see or I never, never see myself in a wheelchair.

I don't know. It's hard to, kind of hard to explain, you know, like going back to, you know, if I could go back and change things, I wouldn't, I mean, I think it was part of what was supposed to happen. You know, I was, I didn't make good, didn't really care about my grades and, you know, I was, you know, kind of the athlete and got most handsome and, you know, had the pretty girlfriend and I don't think I was headed to a path to where I would be right now, if it would not happen. I'm a hundred percent convinced.

I don't know where I'd be, but I know that for sure. And it made me, I think the whole injury and all of it helped to make me, I guess, maybe a fighter. I don't give up on things.

I don't take no friend. If I get my head around something now, you know, I'm pretty darn determined. When I was in, started college, you know, I was trying to figure out what I wanted to do and, you know, I don't even remember who said it was like, well, you know, computer science and all that stuff was just kind of getting revved up and you could, you know, make a lot of money, you know, and, you know, you can sit there, you can sit at a desk, work on computers. It's perfect.

And they make a lot of money. I was like, okay. So I started out in computer science and I took my first calculus class and computer programming class and I was like, yeah, no. And then I had a, I was home for something and I had a dental appointment with my dentist in Greenville. You know, we got to talking. We don't, I don't think we talked about me being a dentist, but that was when I decided, you know, this was right up my alley.

I like hanging around people and taking care of people and dentists pretty much sit down all day long. So I'm gonna do that. And so I started, you know, I changed my major and, you know, I had to really work hard, really had to study hard, you know, and I had people, you know, my parents even, well, I mean, you know, you need to have a backup plan, you know, what if you don't get in? And there was no backup plan.

That's what I was going to do. And I was, I was going to get in. It was summer break.

So I was home for the summer. My friend, Jessica Sullivan, she, you know, always had a bunch of girls. One of them was Jessica, Jessica Wood at the time. Anyway, and we had, nobody had ever met her before. And I remember coming out and she had this little green dress on and everybody was, and of course, you know, we're guys, we're all in the car, you know, golly, who's that?

I don't know. I guess we kind of hit it off that night and we ended up starting dating almost immediately after that. You know, I knew there were probably a lot of people in college that me being in a wheelchair kind of would have been a problem, would have been an issue, you know, for dating or marrying or I don't think she ever saw it either.

She'd never allow me to use it, you know, as an excuse or I don't ever remember even coming up and talking about it. So we got married in May of 1995. 1995. So I was a, I was a junior. She was a senior. So I was studying ecology one night because I had changed my major to biology and pre-med. And so we were studying and she calls me and says, you know, I think I might be pregnant. And I was like, what? And I was like, I just remember being like, okay.

All right. Not irritated, not irritated that she was, she was saying that she was pregnant, but I was like, she's not pregnant. And I'm irritated. I got to stop studying. I got to go to Walmart and get a pregnancy test and go over to her house. So I went to Walmart, you know, and I'm, you know, of course, I don't know what I'm doing. I'm like on that aisle looking and so I get a pregnancy test and I go over and I'm, I'd gotten out of the wheelchair.

I'm sitting on my couch. She goes to the bathroom, comes back and when she hands it to me and it has a plus on it. And I remember us, it was the weirdest, just a spontaneous response. We both just started dying out laughing. We just laughed hysterically. And then, and then it kind of hit us.

All right, well, what are we going to do? You know, there were a lot of stages in my life that got me to kind of to where I am. And that was kind of, that was probably the next big one that really lit a fire under me and catapulted me, you know, to do even, stay even harder and do even better because it was, it was kind of real then. And it, you know, we say it all the time when we talk about it, it matured us probably. We grew up real, real fast.

I think they were just kind of wake up calls being in a wheelchair or when I got hurt. And then of course, you know, getting told that you're about to have a newborn baby and you're not, not married and you're, you know, you're in college and it kind of changes things. You know, I think, I would think back on it now and, you know, I'm just like, I don't know how the hell we did it, but we did. I think when you're younger like that, you just, it's just different. Like if I had to go back and do it all now at my age, I couldn't do it.

But you're just kind of in survival mode, trying to get to the, trying to get to that next step. You know, when I got in dental school, I mean, she got pregnant again. Spring of my freshman year of dental school, we had twins.

You know, a lot of people would say, you know, God, how in the heck did you do dental school? And, you know, you had a two-year-old and twin newborns and we just did it in his life. We were just, I mean, working every day. Jessica was working and I was, basically had a full-time job with dental school and you just made time for your family when you could. And looking back on it, it was fine.

It was not that, it didn't, I guess it didn't seem that bad. And my goodness, what's storytelling and what a voice. He talked about the fact that he could sit around feeling sorry for himself, wishing what might have been, or you can get on with things. When we come back, we continue the story of Hayden Perkins, a real life hero story here on Al American Stories. Hyundai is back with the all electric IONIQ 6. It has a range of up to 360 miles and can charge from 10% to 80% in as little as 18 minutes on a DC ultra fast charger. But are there any drawbacks to the EV lifestyle?

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No, no free candy. But you know those people who always have the latest tech gizmo before everyone else? Now you could be one of those people without even trying. And when people ask you, is that the latest iPhone? You could just be all cool about it and say, oh yeah, I mean, I get the latest one every year.

You know, that's just how I roll. That can be you with Boost Infinite, infinitely better. To learn more, visit boostinfinite.com. That's boostinfinite.com. Terms apply. After 30 gigabytes, service may be slowed. Receive a comparable iPhone model each year with an acceptable trade in every year.

Requires credit qualification and 36-month phone financing agreement. Inspired by Ubisoft's famous video game series Assassin's Creed and its new game Assassin's Creed Mirage, Echoes of History Baghdad Soundwalks explores the streets of Baghdad during the golden age of the Abbasid Caliphate. Hosts Professor Ali Alomi of the Head on History podcast and Dina Hassani will take you on a walk across the streets of 9th century Baghdad and dive into the lives of 10 historical characters featured in Assassin's Creed Mirage. New episodes weekly.

Listen to Echoes of History Baghdad Soundwalks on iHeartRadio or wherever you get your podcasts. And we continue here with Our American Stories in our final segment of Hayden Perkins' story. He's a pediatric dentist that at the age of 15 was in a horrible accident that paralyzed him from the waist down.

He married his wife Jessica in college and worked hard to become a pediatric dentist despite all the odds against him. Back to Hayden. You can't be a victim. You know that we see that a lot these days and you know there's always an excuse that I can't do something or because of this or you know whether it's you know an injury or something that's gender-based or race-based or you know anything like that you know it's just you can do anything you put your mind to. You want to. I've raised I've raised the boys that way push them push them push them. I don't try I don't try to be but I think I'm probably a pretty good example of you can do whatever you want to do. You know I had people tell me getting into dental school I mean I was at the time I you know I didn't know there was I know there was some concern with the admissions board about me being able to there were some questions in the interviews you know not real direct but I could kind of see that you know what they were about all right well how's this gonna how's this gonna work I mean how you can't use his feet I mean how's he gonna do the wrist at you know the little pedal that controls everything and that's something that I didn't I never I mean I knew that was how it worked but I I didn't think about it I didn't care figure it out you know how's he gonna keep his hands clean and you know just things like that but I you know it's not something I ever really thought about or used you know as a a roadblock I just never even it's just one of those things you you know I'm I that's what I'm gonna do I'm going to do it and I'll figure we'll figure out how to make it work you know sometimes I'll go in the rooms and you know they'll be surprised and sometimes they'll even say something I remember several times you know going like today I was in the operating room and I'll go I'll go into the room to talk to the parents you know before we we go back and a lot of times the grandmom will be there well the grandmama wasn't at the initial appointment you know I'll go busting up in there and you know and it's Susie and you know I'm talking to little Susie you ready to get your teeth clean and brush and going through all the stuff and I can see the grandmama just kind of almost a little confused they're just surprised you know and they'll even I've had even some of them ask you you know I'll get to talking and you know she'll you know she'll say this is your dentist the older pop I mean they'll just ask you I mean they're not embarrassed to you know ask a question and you know they're just a little surprised that you know and a lot of them think that it was that I was hurt after I went to dental school it's a lot more shocking or surprising to them when you know I tell them you know I know I was hurt when I was 15 and you know and you still went to dental school I think that's a weird or strange observation that or reaction that people have that you know if you're disabled or there's just certain things you can't do or it's expected that you know you're not gonna achieve real big things or you know after I was hurt you know obviously I I was depressed about you know a lot of things but depressed that I couldn't do a lot of things that I used to love doing and you know football and you know different sports and golf and I still miss golf you know I I get sad well we're down at the beach and you know the boys are you know they love playing golf there are things like that that I do you know when I say I don't ever think about it or I don't there are things like that that I do I don't know if they make me sad but well maybe I do maybe I get sad that you know I wish I could do that with them now you know and Hayden's four were down at the beach I wish I could walk down the beach with her with with the waves splashing and collect seashells that's a specific thought I guess I've had is going to the beach and and not being able to play with her go out into the water and hold her up and you know like all the other dads are doing and anything that I can't do if I run into it you know I might get a little sadder I think about it you know because I say you know you know if I'm I put my mind to it you can you can do anything well there are limitations on that okay I can't I can't get up and and run out into the water and and hold my little girl up on the beach there are things like that that I might get a little emotional about or kind of sad about but there are things that I do miss or the myth or maybe I miss out on that I wish I could do but I don't lose sleep over it kind of think about it and but then I just move on I do something different life is short and I've gone through periods of my life after I got hurt or you know I was down about things um not maybe not my wheelchair but you only got so much time here and you gotta you gotta play with the hand you've been dealt you just gotta pick yourself up and go and that's what I've tried to do and when I I get I get down or you know worried about something or stressed about something you know I just try to remember you know how blessed I feel like I am to be where I am catch myself a lot of times saying Hayden really I mean you're really what you're worried about that look at how successful you've been look at how much you know God has blessed you and and you're worried about not having enough or wanting to do more or do this you know so you just gotta just gotta live life that's all I can say lately over the last couple of months I've had like these anxiety stuff you know and I I've about doing uh have I done this right or golly I should have done this in the past and why did I sell this and I guess I'm middle-aged I worry about am I going to be able to keep going statistically paraplegics quadriplegics have a shorter lifespan not significantly but it's you looked at statistics you know you just don't live as long and the main reason for that is you know you just you have something going on and you don't know a melanoma or something on your hip or you know or some kind of bladder cancer something that you would you know you would have some pain or something from and you would you know you would go to your doctor about I worry about that you know especially now I've got a little four-year-old and I still want to be around for the most part they're they're irrational thoughts is things that you can't control you know it's things in the past that you you did or you didn't do things in the future that you cannot I mean I can't control if I you know if I I leave here and I get on the highway and I get hit by a mac truck you know there's you can't control that kind of stuff so I think about that like why am I sitting here thinking about if I'm gonna die at 62 I can do everything I can I can go to the doctor every year every six months and get a physical and do things earlier than most people say you should so you know it's like a roller coaster for me you know I'm good like right now I'm talking about it and I'm good and then I'll wake up and at 2am having a panic attack I'm working through it I'm better I'm good now so it's just one of those just another another thing in life that's happening I guess do as much as you can and then you just gotta give it to God and let it go and then live life is too short the story of Hayden Perkins his wife Jessica his beautiful kids a life well lived in a beautiful small town that we broadcast from Oxford Mississippi that family story here on Our American Stories ABC Thursdays The Bachelor is entering its golden era with the premiere of The Golden Bachelor for the first time in The Bachelor franchise history 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