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And in the end, America is the star of this show, and so are the American people. Up next, we're going to hear from a regular contributor, Bill Bright, about the simple but important task of grooming your own horse. Two weeks ago, I went to the Cheshire Horse in Swansea, New Hampshire, to purchase riding boots, breeches and other paraphernalia.
No spurs. I see no reason to spur a horse, and Dorothy Crosby, my instructor, a practical woman, agrees with me. Breeches have leather patches on the inner thigh, the saddle sides of the leg that help one post, rise in the saddle at the trot to manage the horse. The breeches are a mixture of cotton and unnatural fibers that stretch. Unlike the old army riding breeches of khaki twill that belled at the thighs and hips, they cling. My wife claims she finds them, shall we say, interesting.
Having spent some time in my early life trying to have the municipal building at 1 Center Street in Manhattan rezoned for natural fibers, I reserve judgment. Riding boots also help control the horse while being much easier to place in or remove from the stirrups than my rubber wellingtons had been. So today, when I went to find Julio, the horse I've been riding at Ms. Crosby's stable in Stoddard, New Hampshire, I arrived in the kind of polished high boots one might expect from, say, George S. Patton in 1939.
I then plunged through three inches of mud to get and bring him in for grooming. With Julio, there's always some physical comedy before I get him to the stable because there are other things he would rather do right then than go with me and so he will walk about. Horses, unlike most humans, always live in the moment.
Sooner or later, though, I catch Julio and lead him in. A rider should groom the horse before riding to ensure comfort for both parties. Cleaning his back, where the saddle will lie, is only a part of it. Julio loves to roll in the field. At this time of year, from late March through early May, New Hampshire has mud season. So when I finally get him into the stable, he's pretty dirty.
Even with some degree of efficiency, the use of several brushes, combs, picks, and other devices takes about half an hour. That too may have an element of physical comedy, particularly if, like Julio, the horse doesn't think much about where he places his hooves. Half a ton of horse can make his presence known, as I learned earlier today when he placed his hoof on my right foot. Thankfully, I was no longer wearing my rubber Wellingtons, which might not have taken this quite as well as my Irish-made riding boots. When Julio put his foot down, I took a deep breath and exhaled, refraining from using a few consonant clusters that leapt into mind.
It was my fault. I should have turned him while leading from the front instead of remaining at his side. Having cleaned the horse, one saddles and bridles him, leads him out to the mounting block, climbs into the saddle, and rides. I'm slowly absorbing the discipline of riding at the trot, which requires one to rise in rhythm with the horse.
It's working certain muscles that I may not use as often as I should. I'm vaguely reminded of an admission Graham Greene once made to Anthony Powell that he had not truly known physical love until he had known a horsewoman due to the development of the muscles in the loins. Anyway, having done all that and returned to the stable, what happens next? First, I groom Julio again, going through the entire process. He's allowed me to ride him. The least I can do is clean him up so he can relax.
It's simply a matter of quid pro quo. At this time of year, he's shedding his winter coat. I remove nearly as much hair from him during the second grooming as I did during the first. Once I'm done, I place a waterproof sheet over him, an exercise in straps and Velcro, lead him from the stable, remove his bridle and release him.
Then, back in the barn, I clean the hair and other detritus that fell from him during his grooming, including any manure, and sweep or shovel it out the door. The other day, by power of association, I recall the French cavalryman and politician who, opposing the adoption of tanks during the mid-1930s, thundered during a debate in the Chamber of Deputies, what would you have, the stench of gasoline or the noble scent of manure? That was after an obscure colonel, Charles de Gaulle, had published the classic argument for the use of tanks in modern warfare, the army of the future.
The book was ignored by France, but a bestseller in Germany. General Heinz Guderian, whose armored cavalry smashed through the French lines at Sedan in 1940, particularly admired it. And you've been listening to Bill Bryke, his story about horse life and particularly, well, the joy of grooming your horse and the joy of just getting to know your horse and getting closer to a horse. My daughter loves horses. We own a horse.
His name is Lovato. And let's just say he can make his presence known, too. And quite a character and a joy of our life owning a horse. If you have one, if you have barns, if you ride, you know what I'm talking about and what it does for young people.
My goodness, the lessons you learn about personal responsibility, about, well, control, about risk-taking, about courage at certain points, too. And if you have stories of your own, horse stories particularly, send them to OurAmericanStories.com. It's such a fundamental part of so many people's lives in this country, especially in the rural areas of this country and the exurbs. Again, send your horse stories to OurAmericanStories.com. The beauty of the beast, the beauty of this animal, it's been a fascination for Americans, well, for as long as we've been Americans.
Bill Brykes' story, his horse riding story, in the end his horse grooming story, and it's a love story in the end. Here on Our American Stories. Folks, if you love the great American stories we tell and love America like we do, we're asking you to become a part of the Our American Stories family. If you agree that America is a good and great country, please make a donation. A monthly gift of $17.76 is fast becoming a favorite option for supporters. Go to OurAmericanStories.com now and go to the donate button and help us keep the great American stories coming.
That's OurAmericanStories.com. Soon millions will make Medicare coverage decisions for next year, and UnitedHealthcare can help you feel confident about your choices. For those eligible, Medicare annual enrollment runs from October 15th through December 7th. If you're working past age 65, you might be able to delay Medicare enrollment depending on your employer coverage.
It can seem confusing, but it doesn't have to be. Visit UHCMedicareHealthPlans.com to learn more. UnitedHealthcare, helping people live healthier lives. I know everything there is to know about running a coffee shop, but for small business insurance, I need my State Farm agent. They make sure my business stays piping hot, and I stay cool and confident. See, they're small business owners too, so they know how to help you best. State Farm is in your corner and on it. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.
Call your local State Farm agent for a quote today. Doing household chores can already be time consuming and tedious, and there's nothing more daunting than facing piles and piles of laundry that need to be done. I mean, that can be overwhelming for anyone. So, if you want to get those larger laundry loads done right and get back to your life, try All-Free Clear Mega Packs. All-Free Clear Mega Packs are bigger packs with two times the cleaning ingredients compared to a regular pack so that you can tackle any laundry load without the worry. All-Free Clear Mega Packs are also 100% free of perfumes and dyes and they're gentle on skin, which is great for any family's sensitive skin needs. My family, we definitely have sensitive skin. So, the next time the whole family gets home from long vacation or you get the kids back from summer camp or whatever the situation is that's caused this big pile of dirty clothes, just know that All-Free Clear Mega Packs, they have your back.
Purchase All-Free Clear Mega Packs today and conquer any laundry load for all fabric types. This is Our American Stories and you're about to hear an incredible story of hope and redemption. Here's Madison to bring you the story.
You might think that it would be crazy that an intelligent, beautiful and driven girl would enter the sex industry. It might make a little more sense if we heard a bit about her childhood. I was raised in a pretty violent neighborhood in a really chaotic home.
In the neighborhood I grew up in, dominoes wouldn't deliver a pizza after dark and the police actually wouldn't even come to my house after dark. My mother and my stepdad had a very tumultuous relationship, so there was a lot of screaming and fighting and yelling. I also was sexually abused throughout my life by multiple people, both men and women, and raped. I wrote my first suicide note when I was eight years old. One of my first attempts was around 12 and I figured it was just a matter of finding the right method. One of my abusers was my mother's boyfriend.
At that time I was 13 and I finally started standing up for myself a little bit more and getting a little feisty and hormonal as teenagers do. So I actually ran away from home to get away from the situation. My mom called me and said, OK, Harmony, you can come home.
It'll be fine. He's gone. He left. And I came home and she actually followed him to Canada and left my brother and I with $20 and a book of food stamps. And the food stamps and the $20 ran out very quickly.
And I remember I would buy tortillas and butter because it was the cheapest thing that I could get in my neighborhood. But once the money was gone, I started stealing from the liquor store to support my brother and I. And I remember, you know, every time I did it, I felt really afraid that I was going to get caught. And mostly because I was afraid of what would happen to my brother if I got arrested and where would he go. So I would actually have him stand outside on the corner and just told him anything happens, if anything goes wrong, you just run home as fast as you can.
And it was that summer that I became involved with an older boy in my neighborhood. He would come around and buy my brother and I food so that we didn't have to steal it. And he would make me feel protected in the neighborhood I was in and tell me, you know, I've got your back. I'll take care of you. I'm looking out for you.
I'll protect you. And really, that's all I ever wanted from a man was to feel protected and to feel provided for. And so he kind of filled that void that I had. And what ended up happening is I formed a very deep attachment to him. And I really developed this kind of idea that I couldn't survive without him.
And in some ways that summer, I really did need him to survive. But the relationship became physically and emotionally abusive. He was my exploiter and essentially my pimp. That relationship led me to working in the sex industry at the age of 19. As a stripper and every night came home, gave him all my money. And he actually started using me to recruit other women from strip club to work for him as well.
And they were giving him their money. And I remember my first night showing up to the shift at the strip club. I walked up to the deejay booth and I'll never forget. He said, what's your name? And I said, Harmony. And he turned around and started writing my name Harmony in dry erase on the whiteboard behind him, because that's where they put the list of girls that were working that night. And seeing it in black and white like that really freaked me out.
And I remember saying, take it down, erase it. I'll be Monique. And really from that moment developed this persona that was Monique. And Monique wasn't a real person. She was a lie. And really it was a mask that helped me to deal and survive in that environment and separate what I was doing from who I am.
At least it felt that way. But she wasn't a real person. She just was a compilation of other people's fantasies that Monique was whoever the customer wanted Monique to be.
And the problem with that is that over time, I really began to lose sight of who Harmony was. There's just really this stripping of who you are and the boundaries that you get to have as a human being. But, you know, it's one of the things I think creating an alter ego type thing that helps us as women who are in those situations cope and survive. But it also perpetuates the lie, because if a guy were to walk in the club and say, hey, do you like being here? Do you like what you do?
Monique would say, yes, of course, I make great money and I get exercise. And nobody cared about who Harmony was or my hopes and dreams and wants and needs and feelings, because my job was to be what other people wanted me to be and to not have wants of my own. The thing is, is that a lot of women, up to 90 percent of us have a history of childhood sexual abuse, those of us that end up in the commercial sex industry.
And that's not a coincidence. When a person is victimized, there is an experience of an extreme sense of powerlessness over your own body. And in that moment, being victimized in those moments, you don't get to say what happens to you.
You don't get to have boundaries or stand up for yourself because you're powerless in those situations. My history of sexual abuse taught me to be comfortable with not having boundaries with my body. And it also made me feel comfortable with being sexualized and objectified.
And those are pretty much job requirements. And there was a little bit of a void in me that sometimes the customers filled as well. Even in the relationship I had with the exploiter, it was all based on codependency and not having boundaries. And I stayed.
I stayed because I didn't think I was worth more. And every negative thing he said about me actually just validated what I already believed to be true about myself. And I stayed also because that's all I ever saw modeled in relationships was abuse.
And so it was normal to me. And I honestly thought all men were like that. There were times I would even think about leaving him, but I would think, what's the point? Because at least I know what sets him off. At least I know what makes him tick and I can kind of manage and navigate this abusive situation.
But if I leave him, who knows who I'm going to end up with? I was in complete denial and was just so deceived and confused and hopeless and felt completely trapped. The big catalyst for change in my life began with a friendship. I met a girl and her friendship changed my life. She loved me unconditionally. She never judged me. I found out that she was a Christian and I actually was surprised because I would have expected her to be maybe judgmental based on my experiences and the stories my mom told me about her being discriminated against by Christians growing up. And, you know, she grew up on army bases and was the only non-Christian family there.
And the other children weren't allowed to play with her. So I grew up just thinking Christians are judgmental and not safe people. So I was really surprised that this person was a Christian because she was so loving and kind. And I just felt like I couldn't lie to her. And so I was honest with her about the circumstances in my life.
I did tell her I was a stripper. And to my surprise, that didn't push her away. But also I appreciated that her friendship with me was not contingent on me going to church with her.
She would take me to coffee and to ice cream and really just showed genuine care for me as a human being. And it's because of that that I finally did feel safe enough and comfortable enough to go to church with her. And church was the last place I wanted to go.
I thought if there is a God and I am not convinced there is, I didn't think he would want anything to do with someone like me. But I eventually took her up on her offer after months and months and months and went to church. And I just sensed that I was home. And I really felt like I didn't know much, but I knew that I wanted to be back there when the doors were open. Although Harmony was experiencing new beginnings, the real change in her life did not occur overnight. I was still working at the strip club. I was still in the abusive relationship. And one thing I appreciate about that friend is that she never said, OK, listen, now that you're in church, you need to stop cussing, get off the pole, break up with a boyfriend, put on some clothes.
Here are the things you need to do to be a Christian. She just really gave space for the Holy Spirit to do a work in my heart that eventually led to change in my life. And I really needed that because if she had started to try to control my behavior, then I really think it would have pushed me away.
But she understood that Christianity and faith in Jesus is not about behavior modification. It's about heart transformation. And that leads to life change.
When we come back, more of this remarkable story, Harmony Dust Grillo's story here on Our American Stories. If you're working past age 65, you might be able to delay Medicare enrollment depending on your employer coverage. It can seem confusing, but it doesn't have to be. Visit uhcmedicarehealthplans.com to learn more. UnitedHealthcare, helping people live healthier lives. I know everything there is to know about running a coffee shop, but for small business insurance, I need my State Farm agent. They make sure my business stays piping hot and I stay cool and confident. See, they're small business owners, too, so they know how to help you best. State Farm is in your corner and on it. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.
Call your local State Farm agent for a quote today. Doing household chores can already be time consuming and tedious, and there's nothing more daunting than facing piles and piles of laundry that need to be done. I mean, that can be overwhelming for anyone. So, if you want to get those larger laundry loads done right and get back to your life, try All-Free Clear Mega Packs. All-Free Clear Mega Packs are bigger packs with two times the cleaning ingredients compared to a regular pack so that you can tackle any laundry load without the worry. All-Free Clear Mega Packs are also 100% free of perfumes and dyes and they're gentle on skin, which is great for any family's sensitive skin needs. My family, we definitely have sensitive skin. So, the next time the whole family gets home from long vacation or you get the kids back from summer camp or whatever the situation is that's caused this big pile of dirty clothes, just know that All-Free Clear Mega Packs, they have your back.
Purchase All-Free Clear Mega Packs today and conquer any laundry load for all fabric types. And we return to Our American Stories and the story of Harmony Dust Grillo, and here again is Madison to continue with this remarkable story. After finding a church home where she felt accepted, Harmony finally decided it was time to end her abusive relationship with her exploiter. And one day, she built up the courage to try and get her car back from him. He had been driving it and keeping it from her for a while. She asked the youth pastor at her new church if he would come along with her.
The youth pastor had no idea what he was getting into. I just said, hey, can you come help me get my car back from my boyfriend? And he was like, oh, sure.
And we pull up and, you know, it's not a good neighborhood. And the youth pastor is kind of looking around like, what is going on? And my ex-boyfriend, he's like, what are you doing here? I said, I'm here to get my car back. And he grabbed me and he said, no, you're not. And he threw me against the car. And then he said, I'm going to go upstairs and I'm going to get my gat and I'm going to kill you, gat meaning his gun, and he's going to kill me.
And to me, this whole interaction was very normal. The youth pastor was freaking out. So I'm standing there like, I need to get my car back.
And the youth pastor is like, we need to go. And so finally convinced me to get in the car and leave. And he called the police. And I'll never forget, there was a female officer and she said, here, I want you to take this. And she was handing me a domestic violence brochure. And I said, I don't need that. And she was like, I want you to take this. And I said, I don't need that. And she set it down on my coffee table.
And I remember when she left, I picked that brochure up. And I had been in a seven year long abusive relationship. But it wasn't until that moment that I really realized that it was an abusive relationship because I was in such a deep level of denial. You know, you see the billboards of domestic violence victims and they all have black eyes. And I'm like, he never hits me in the face and I've never had a black eye.
And therefore this is not domestic violence. But it wasn't until that moment that I really realized and I just lived in denial all of those years about it. I didn't see him as my exploiter. I didn't see him as a pimp. I saw him as the love of my life.
Crazy enough. Basically, all of that left me with this very strong desire to feel a sense of safety that I never had. And so my life did change. And it was from that place of just revelation. And so I remember for weeks on end, I'm hearing the pastor talk about the fact that I was created with a purpose. And I remember being in the strip club one night and looking around and realizing if I was truly created with a purpose, this cannot be it. So it was from that kind of place that I was able to walk away from the industry and walk away from the boyfriend. And just really began on this healing journey. Part of that journey was facing her past.
Harmony encountered many troubled people while working at the strip club. But along the way, she happened to meet one man who was different, a man in his 80s who seemed to be just as lonely as she was. He was super sweet, very respectful and gentlemanly man. In fact, you know, he would pay for table dances and that sort of thing. But honestly, that's not why he was there. He was there really mostly for conversation. In fact, sometimes when I would dance, I watched him avert his eyes and he just was more interested in resuming whatever conversation we had. And he was a widow.
His wife died and they had been married almost 50 years and he missed her terribly. And he would come into the club. It started out one night a week, two nights a week. By the end, it was like three or four nights a week.
And, you know, spend a few hundred dollars each time just for my company. And and I remember thinking if I had met him under different circumstances, he was such a sweet and kind man that. What would it look like if he and my grandmother could offer each other companionship? When I finally quit stripping, he was really the only person that I felt. Not that I owed an explanation to, but I didn't want to just disappear. I wanted to let him know what was happening and that I was I was leaving because I know that our relationship, however odd and strange it was, was a big part of his life. And I called his house.
Someone else answered the phone. I ended up finding out that he was in the hospital, that in that period of time that I quit, he just so happened to have a heart attack. And so I decided to go and visit him in the hospital to say a proper goodbye.
I kind of felt like it was the right thing to do. He was not well. I could tell he was not well. And, you know, I sat with him and I told him that I was leaving the industry and he was like, good for you, sweetie. And he was really supportive and kind. And I didn't know what I could give him, but I just offered to pray with him. And at the end of the day, he wanted to have a relationship with Jesus. So I was able to pray with him that day and say an official goodbye. And it's not like I experienced that a lot with the men where I experienced them as just really kind people.
But with him, it was different. Eventually, I got to a point where I realized that all the pain that I had gone through, that there could be purpose in it and that it wasn't just about me. And I found myself sitting across the street from the strip club where I used to work and was praying for the women and then realized, like, OK, it's great to pray, but I have to do something because there are women in there that are feeling as trapped as I did. And so I started writing handwritten notes to give to them to put on their cars because I knew where they parked. The very first note that I left on the car of a woman at the strip club where I used to work said something to the effect of, Hi, my name is Harmony. I used to work here, too.
And I just want to let you know that you're not alone and there's a place for you. And then it was really in that moment that the whole vision of Treasures was birthed. Treasures is an outreach group that supports women who are working in the sex industry that meets these women where they are and helps to provide them with a way out if they want it. This effort is led by women who were previously in the same situation.
So that's what I've been doing for the past 15 years. It's just amazing because all of that is a result of me being willing to let God use my story and the pain from my past to reach and help other people. Over the years, Harmony has written a lot of cards. One response came from a woman who had had many doors shut in her face. She asked Harmony for guidance and where she should turn next. I encouraged her to connect with the local church because that was a really positive experience for me.
And I naively hoped and thought that it would be the same for her to get some community wrapped around her. And she showed up at the church and she went to the altar to get prayer. And it happened to be the pastor's wife. And she told the pastor's wife, you know, I'm a single mom. I've been working as a prostitute. She had been trafficked but was now an adult who was working on her own as a prostitute. And the pastor's wife said, I really wish you weren't telling me this.
This is making me very uncomfortable. And she was really giving the benefit of the doubt to the church. So she actually went to the church with her child the next week. And when she showed up to check her child into children's ministry, they said, you and your child are not welcome here.
If the pastor's wife or anyone in that congregation truly understood the kind of situation that led her into those circumstances, they could have responded with compassion and maybe been more helpful. And so I'm really passionate about training and educating and equipping people so that they can respond in ways that are helpful and loving and kind. And we have seen some incredible stories. And I really am at a place in my life where I never want to go through all the things that I've been through again, ever, ever. I never want to be abused again. I never want to experience all that trauma again.
But what I can confidently say is that I wouldn't trade any of it for the person that I've become in the process. All things really can work together for good if we let them, if we're willing to surrender to that process. So I got to a point where I realized that all the pain that I had gone through, that there could be purpose in it. And great job to Madison for bringing us that story. And to learn more about what Harmony and her team do at Treasures, visit iamatreasure.com. All the pain I'd gone through, there was a purpose in it, she said. It isn't all about me. A beautiful story about love, redemption, about God and faith.
Harmony Dustgrillo's story, here on Our American Stories. Soon millions will make Medicare coverage decisions for next year. And UnitedHealthcare can help you feel confident about your choices. For those eligible, Medicare annual enrollment runs from October 15th through December 7th. If you're working past age 65, you might be able to delay Medicare enrollment depending on your employer coverage.
It can seem confusing, but it doesn't have to be. Visit uhcmedicarehealthplans.com to learn more. UnitedHealthcare, helping people live healthier lives. I know everything there is to know about running a coffee shop. But for small business insurance, I need my State Farm agent. They make sure my business stays piping hot.
And I stay cool and confident. See, they're small business owners too, so they know how to help you best. State Farm is in your corner and on it. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.
Call your local State Farm agent for a quote today. Doing household chores can already be time consuming and tedious. And there's nothing more daunting than facing piles and piles of laundry that need to be done.
I mean, that can be overwhelming for anyone. So, if you want to get those larger laundry loads done right and get back to your life, try All-Free Clear Mega Packs. All-Free Clear Mega Packs are bigger packs with two times the cleaning ingredients compared to a regular pack so that you can tackle any laundry load without the worry. All-Free Clear Mega Packs are also 100% free of perfumes and dyes and they're gentle on skin, which is great for any family's sensitive skin needs, which my family, we definitely have sensitive skin. So, the next time the whole family gets home from long vacation or you get the kids back from summer camp or whatever the situation is that's caused this big pile of dirty clothes, just know that All-Free Clear Mega Packs, they have your back.
Purchase All-Free Clear Mega Packs today and conquer any laundry load for all fabric types. This is Our American Stories, and up next, a story from Tyler Grenadol of Grand Rapids, Michigan. Tyler has one of the most interesting side gigs I've ever heard of. He's an onion ring reviewer, and he posts his reviews on his blog named Sola Capa, which in Latin means onion alone. Here's our own Monty Montgomery with more on this story. In a world dominated by subpar onion rings, one man rises against it all to find the cream of the crop. On a journey that started in an economic form in Atlanta, but continues nationwide on the streets of Grand Rapids, Michigan. The man seeking the best onion?
Well, that's Tyler Grenadol. I'm not trying to toot my own horn or anything, but I think at this point I must be one of the world's leading experts in onion rings, if only by the virtue that nobody else is and nobody else cares. It's not just a hobby, it's sort of a mission. You could do it with any food, in theory, I guess, but I don't think it would work with all of them, like french fries or hamburgers. For whatever reason, I think onion rings have that potential for greatness that most people won't bother to do, but a good restaurant will. Because, in a sense, most people don't care about onion rings. It's kind of a throwaway, it's usually an appetizer or a side, it's usually not the star of a place.
So I think if you're putting effort into something that you could do cheaply, that you could do poorly, that says to me a lot about what the restaurant does in other ways. The first place is actually a Saucy Dog BBQ in Jonesville, Michigan, right outside of Hillsdale, and I got the onion rings. And I was kind of blown away by them because they didn't fit my paradigm of what an onion ring was, which before that was, I don't know, kind of a circle that tasted a bit like onion, but these had a big depth of flavor, they were handmade, they were crafted with love and care and attention. And that sort of opened my mind to the possibility of onion rings. And I think then on I started eating more and more onion rings.
And an observation of a correlation kind of developed into a philosophy. I noticed that restaurants that tended to have good onion rings had good other things. In other words, the onion rings were a proxy of the quality of food for the restaurant, and that eventually developed into the onion ring standard, wherein you can judge the quality of a restaurant solely based on the onion rings. I rank a good onion ring by four categories. So the first category is presentation and appearance. How are they plated?
What are they plated in? Do they fit in it? Do they spill out? Are there too few? That one's pretty subjective.
But then appearance is the second part of that category. How do the onion rings themselves look? Are they patchy? Are they hand-breaded?
Are they clearly machine-made because of the uniformity to it that you can't get with hand-breading? Next one is probably an obvious one, taste. How do they taste? Usually it breaks down to three components, the breading and the batter, the onion itself, and then whatever dipping sauce they might have.
Third category is texture, which I think is the most underappreciated aspect of any onion ring. How are the onions? Are they mushy? Are they too hard? Are they too soft? Do the onions slip out from beneath the batter?
Something I call slippage, meaning that they're not meshed well together. The last one is probably a little unconventional when you're talking about food reviews, but it's one that's very near and dear to my heart as a thrifty Dutchman. Those who know West Michigan will know how true that is. Value is what I paid for it worthwhile. And that's not the same thing as cheap. Something could be expensive and a good value.
All these things are proxies for all those aspects of the restaurant, I think, but value is probably the biggest one. I think the best kind of onion ring depends. So in my experience, onion rings that are good tend to be thick cut, so they're wide and they're tall. They tend to be in a liquid batter and then fried rather than breaded.
Obviously handmade, I think that goes without saying. I've noticed more good ones at places like barbecue restaurants and bars rather than like fancy places. I think barbecue restaurants tend to be one of the weird concentrations of very high quality onion rings. But the best one, and I'll say this up front, Uchiko, a Japanese restaurant in Austin, Texas, serves tempura-battered onion rings, which were unlike anything I have ever had and blew my mind.
I think we need to have as good flavor in the batter, a liquid batter, and thick cut onion rings, and then a perfect fry time to unleash the crispiness of the batter and just enough juice from the onions to not let them be mushy. We've heard about the good. Now let's hear about the bad and ugly. So I like to trot out this Bastiat quote for a lot of things because I think it always applies.
Truth is one, error is multiple. There's not one true way to make a good onion ring, but I think there's fewer than there are to make a bad onion ring. At the core of it, overpriced, cannot stand, frozen, invariably bad. The prep time, if you burn it to a crisp, it's bad because that means that the breading is too hard on the outside and the onions are just juice, like you're eating onion water, which is disgusting. I don't want to eat that.
Texturally slippage, which I mentioned earlier, it's a term I think I coined for when you bite into an onion ring and the onion just slips out and slides out onto your plates, but the breading still holds. I think that kills an onion ring quicker than just about anything else. Tyler now gives an in-depth look into a recent trip to Michigan's Mackinac Island that he had, firstly for him and his wife to celebrate their one-year anniversary, but secondly to review onion rings and warning, this first review is scathing, but justifiably so. We've chosen to bleep the name of the restaurant in question to avoid further shame to them.
After all, they probably were crying after reading Tyler's review, and it wasn't just because of all the bad onions they were chopping. I went to a place, it's called In, that's halfway around Mackinac Island. For those who've never been, it's an island in Lake Huron by the Straits of Mackinac where there are no automobiles allowed. So a thing you do is bike around the island, and we were doing that, and most of the stuff on the island is concentrated in the southern half.
There's one restaurant on the north part of the island, which is Drive-In. I think there's a lot of economic reasons why this is the case, but when you have a, not quite monopoly per se, but a dominance and no other competition nearby, I think your products can or might tend to be worse. And I think that's the case here. I couldn't finish them. I literally could not eat any more of it. They were completely, absolutely tasteless. I mean, there was not even onion, there wasn't even salt, there wasn't even grease. I think it gave them a zero out of five in taste because there was nothing at all to it. So it was kind of a meltdown in just the wivery of the onion rings as a concept. So I post all the reviews on my blog, Sola Capa, but I also post them on Google Maps.
It's sort of a service to the community kind of thing, more exposure, more people learning. So I posted this review, which was not good. I mean, they weren't good onion rings, I don't really pull my punches, and they responded with the following. Sorry you didn't enjoy. After reading your novel, I have come to the conclusion that you need psychiatric help.
Enjoy your time on the island. That kind of steamed me a little bit, and I think that it sort of shows a lot about what kind of restaurant it is and why it is the way it is. If the response to the owner to a negative review is, you need psychiatric help, I think that says a lot about how you run your restaurant. But in recent memory, one of the best onion rings is a place called Ice House Barbecue, also on Mackinac Island.
But a similar process, except a different story. They were a beautiful golden brown, really crispy, pretty consistent size, hand-breaded, you could tell, like these weren't any frozen rings. Taste was unbelievable.
They put flavor and salt and seasoning into the panko breading. The onions were cooked just right to release all the onion juices out into the ring, but without being too greasy, without being too overdone. And that's basically what the review was. And I think that the owner's response to this review, again on Google Maps, shows a lot about what kind of restaurant they run, how they operate. The response was, Five stars for this review. Your entertaining and educational recount of the Ice House Barbecue onion ring experience kept us on the edge of our seats till the very end.
Thank you for sharing your unbiased expertise, as well as an exceptional talent for storytelling. I think that demonstrates a lot. So they didn't have to respond. They didn't have to respond in that verbose and glowing way either. They could have said, thanks for the review or glad you enjoyed the experience.
But they saw someone who put a lot of time and effort into analyzing the product they put out. So what's next for Tyler and his onion crusade? To me, the beauty of Sola Capa is that it is a never-ending journey. Even if I did this full-time for 20 years doing nothing but eating or reviewing onion rings, one, I would be morbidly obese and I would probably die before the 20 years were up. Two, I don't think I'd come anywhere close to getting everywhere, even in the United States.
I mean, there are an unfathomable number of restaurants, and of that number, a proportion of those have onion rings. So I think the beauty of this to me is that it's never-ending. So what's next is kind of more of the same. Ideally, it would be forever.
I mean, as long as I can, I want to do this. So what's next is more of the same. Keep eating onion rings. Keep reviewing them. Hopefully people keep reading them.
Whisper: medium.en / 2023-02-16 13:23:01 / 2023-02-16 13:40:41 / 18
