This is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed human. This is Sophie Cunningham from Show Me Something. Do you know the symptoms of moderate to severe obstructive sleep apnea, or OSA, in adults with obesity? They may be happening to you without you knowing.
If anyone has ever said you snored loudly or if you spend your days fighting off excessive tiredness, irritability, and concentration issues, it may be due to OSA. OSA is a serious condition where your airway partially or completely collapses during sleep, which may cause breathing interruptions and oxygen deprivation. Learn more at don'tsleep on osa.com. This information is provided by Lilly, a medicine company. Uh Hear that?
That's what it sounds like when you plant more trees than you harvest. Work done by thousands of working forest professionals like Adam, a district forest manager who works to protect our forests from fires. Keeping the forest fire resistant is synonymous with keeping the forest healthy. And we do that through planting more than we harvest and mitigate those risks through active management. It's a long-term commitment.
Visit WorkingForestsInitiative.com to learn more. 10 athletes will face the toughest job interview in fitness that will push past physical and mental breaking points. You are the fittest of the fit. Only one of you will leave here with an IFIT contract for $250,000. This is when mindset comes in.
Someone will be eliminated. Pressure is coming down. This It's Trainer Games. Watch it on Prime Video starting January 8th. Then the space hamster flew his hot air balloon all the way to the bottom of the ocean.
Where did that story come from? Book? Dream? Nope. It came from a conversation.
Meet Miko Mini Plus, the AI companion that co-creates personalized story adventures with your child in real time. What color was the hamster's cape? And what did he pack for lunch? Unlock your child's imagination. Discover Miko Mini Plus and the magic of AI exclusively at Costco.
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This is Lee Habib, and this is Our American Stories. His next story is is about a friend of mine. We're close in age. but have little else in common. Mitchell Rutledge, aka Big Mitch, was born black and poor in Georgia.
I was born kinda brown and middle class in New Jersey. He never met his father, but I still talk to my 94-year-old father every week. He dropped out of high school in his early teens and was illiterate into his early 20s. I was surrounded by books growing up. and finished graduate school in my early 30s.
Big Mitch spent the last 44 years of his life in Alabama prisons for killing a man. But this is not a story about an innocent man sentenced to prison for a crime he didn't commit. Big Mitch never denied the crime or made excuses for it. This is the story of my friend's spiritual transformation while serving his life sentence. It's also about a friendship only God could have engineered.
A friendship that began with a single Sunday morning call. Through these weekly conversations, I hope you come to know and love him as much as I do. Here's episode seven. And this conversation took place on February 25th. 2024 and we start things off a bit differently.
Included in this conversation is my dear friend Bo. There had been an infidelity in the marriage it was Bo, and there had been a separation in the marriage. And Bo was interested in talking about his crisis, his spiritual crisis, and his marriage crisis. with a man who'd never been married. But had a lot to offer.
Here's Mitch. Talking to my friend Bo. This is a free call from Mitchell Rutnet. An incarcerated individual at Alabama Department of Corrections. To accept this free call, press one, to refuse this free call, press, two, thank you for using Securus.
You may start the conversation now. You know, uh life is Full of odds and God. you know, that's that's that's that's what it is. At the same time. This is Come with living.
Yeah. I think really You gotta get to the roof. Problem. but making you making these bad decisions. And if you do you have any clue?
Uh whatever you Kryptonite. And you you saying that the equipment may be Poland women is more females in your life or what have you. But that's the that's the root of it. You you you got to deal with yourself first and before you can deal with anybody else. You got to deal with yourself.
But as always, I'm going to take you back to God, Jesus Christ. is that. Uh, I would first of all say, you know, you gotta ask him to help you, you gotta ask him to guide you. Get ahead and once you ask God to guide you. And You Read his words.
Big the reverence and respect that you have for him. will allow you to be able to focus on the things that he is speaking about in his words. which would have helped you a great deal. you know. 'Cause that's what it helped me overcame.
What was my obstacles? the things that I'm dealing with. It is another thing that uh How to you? Like here about issue on the stand. And that he was Does somebody love you?
Then you gotta love him. Uh I I assume you and your wife love each other, but for whatever reason. All they work thing out. And then you know what that is: that's the enemy. That the energy separating you all.
That's the enemy coming between you all in various and various ways. You see, so uh You gotta recognize. the end of it. And the end of it ain't necessary. coming in the form.
of a physical means. in common form of alcohol, it can come in the form of drugs. You can call me the form of anything. But It's a separation there. It's a breeze.
that the enemy created between you and your wife. Do you see it? CC. But for whatever reason, Y'all can't breathe that gap. And I'm here to tell you this morning.
that you ain't gonna be able to do it without Christ. I'm serious. I don't I don't I don't say that. based on something that someone told me. or something I read in the book.
Even though ain't nothing wrong with that. I'm speaking from experience, my relationship with Christ, the things that he brought me through, the things that I tried to overcome. in these forty some years incarcerated. And I tried to bridge the gap between myself and other issues in my life. I never could do it.
But when I gave the Jesus Christ, I was able to do it. today to save your relationship, you gotta you gotta sacrifice all the little things. That you won't hurt right now. Can you do that? Yes, I I can.
Okay. You do that right there. And you assure her 'Cause you ain't concerned about rent now.
Well, I want you to do this. You need you ain't concerned about nothing but What? She needed. How she needed that gonna heal her, that gonna heal the relationship, that gonna redeem everything. That's the same way with your daughter and everything.
And and and I would say I would go so far to say this right here. It's there. You're going to have to do that in general right now. With that, you know. the way you're going right now.
Because that's where the enemy is. They try to continue to trick us and deceive us.
Okay. What he does to Well, you gotta give me something. You gotta show me love. No, we gotta act like Christ right now. And you've been listening to Sunday mornings with Big Mitch.
And my goodness, what words of wisdom. You've got to deal with yourself first before you can deal with anybody else, he told my friend Beau. You've got to deal with yourself. And always, he added, I'm going to take you back to God. When we come back, more of Sunday Mornings with Big Mitch here.
on our American stories. Lee Habib here, and I'm inviting you to help Our American Stories celebrate this country's 250th birthday coming soon. If you want to help inspire countless others to love America like we do and want to help us bring the inspiring and important stories told here about a good and beautiful country, please consider making a tax-deductible donation to Our American Stories. Go to ouramericanstories.com and click the donate button. Any amount helps.
Go to ouramericanstories.com and give. Ten athletes will face the toughest job interview in fitness that will push past physical and mental breaking points. You are the fittest of the fit. Only one of you will leave here with an IFIT contract for $250,000. This is when mindset comes in.
Someone will be eliminated. Pressure is coming down. Peggy. It's Trainer Game. Watch it on Prime Video starting January 8th.
Shh! You won't believe what my new friend just told me about dinosaurs! Is your child having conversations you never imagined? Are they learning without realizing it? It's not a tablet.
It's not a toy. It's Miko Mini Plus, the AI-powered companion that turns curiosity into endless learning. Hear the future of playtime. Meet the extraordinary Miko Mini Plus. Only at Costco.
Come for the Black Friday seasonal savings. Stay for the award-winning reporting. For a limited time, access to the Washington Post is just 99 cents. That's unlimited access to all of the posts for only 99 cents every four weeks. That's a great deal for the first year.
After that, it'll cost $12 every four weeks. You can cancel any time. But don't wait, this Black Friday seasonal offer won't be here for long. Go to Washington Post dot com slash iHeart and grab this deal before it's gone. That's Washington Post dot com slash iHeart.
This is Sophie Cunningham from Show Me Something. Do you know the symptoms of moderate to severe obstructive sleep apnea, or OSA, in adults with obesity? They may be happening to you without you knowing. If anyone has ever said you snored loudly or if you spend your days fighting off excessive tiredness, irritability, and concentration issues, it may be due to OSA. OSA is a serious condition where your airway partially or completely collapses during sleep, which may cause breathing interruptions and oxygen deprivation.
Learn more at don'sleep on OSA dot com. This information is provided by Lilly, a medicine company. Bring incredible sound into every corner of your home this holiday with the new Wim Sound smart speaker. Get high-resolution audio with a 1.8-inch touchscreen, smart control, and modern design in one powerful speaker for just $2.99. From quiet mornings to lively holiday gatherings, Wim Sound makes every moment sound better and feel better too.
Get the gift of the season for the music enthusiast in your life or for yourself. Wim Sound, beautifully designed, effortlessly connected. Shop now at Amazon and search Wim Sound. That's W I M S O U N D. And we continue with Our American Stories in episode seven of Sunday Mornings with Big Mitch.
And in this episode, Mitch is counseling my friend Bo through a marriage crisis of his own doing. And by the way, Mitch knows what it's like to feel like you aren't worth redemption after doing a terrible thing. No man knows more about that. Mitch killed a man. But you are worth the work to become a better person.
And forgiveness does come. Let's pick up where we last left off. with Big Mitch Counseling, my friend Bo. You know what the uh One of the things that was defeating me when you're going through something like what you're going through in Well that'd have been there. Oh.
Low self-esteem. You can begin to dislike yourself. You begin to feel. uh uh ashamed of yourself, like what you said. you feel like uh You ain't worthy now because the way people's looking at you or So that is one of the enemies major tricks.
to destroy you inwardly. To have you feeling so down on yourself, feeling so sorry. feeling like you're nothing because of what you did. That ain't nothing but a trick. Don't feel that way.
Even though people may Look at you different because of what you did, and they got to look at you different because of what you did, because you did something that. was uh they felt that was outside your character. But I used to feel that way because of what I did. I feel ashamed and and and and and and pitiful and and I I was in couldn't hardly hold my head up. Come on.
it it it even and even had an effect on me having feeling so bad is that I didn't even want to take care of myself like I need to take care of myself. I I I didn't even want to, uh, To go. I will even motivate it. to try to uh do the things that I need to do. It just took my motivational way.
It took my uh It it it it it it took my will. to change awaiting me. It did that. But I had to. But I had to stop.
I hear the stump. Condemning myself. I had to stop. Hated myself. I'm not saying you hate yourself.
I'm talking about bitch. I I I had to stop feeling so for shame of myself. I had to stop. allowed how other people's Excuse me. affect me in that way.
I had to ride the bullboard and it was hard. But once I did that And the most thing I did, it was a struggle. This trouble. But I had to stop. defeating myself by and dim in my feeling.
And once I was able to do that, And and and and and the ball game had changed. Because see, if you feeling down on yourself, Sorry for you, sir. Ashamoo. You have one minute left. Because of what you have done or what people say you have done, then you can't move forward like that.
You you you you you you you're not gonna be able to do it. You got to deal with you crews. I got told yours again. You know, you you you you you got it. Throw all the things that you want in this relationship to get better, and you gotta put that out of the way right now and just focus in on your wife.
If you put your things you need right now, you got to sacrifice. And one other thing you got to do, you got to start feeling bad about yourself. You got you gotta you gotta you gotta wake up from that. Gotta get stronger from that. You gotta get that sign of your mind set back, regardless of what the overlooker's saying and what you trying.
You've got a purpose. At this point in the conversation between my friend Bo and Big Mitch. Mitch decides to share an original poem about the poem. about self-reflection. One day uh Uh I wrote a poem.
The title is Reflection. And that's because you reflect you're reflecting back on. yourself and the struggle that you're dealing with with yourself. The title is Reflection. It is the sins, it is the sins of my past that plagued me.
My day-to-day existence. as I struggle to evade the enemy of my past. He is an ever present force. in my life. and he finds no pleasure in my positive growth.
He feeds off all the negative aspects of life. that approach me on a day-to-day basis. When I lay down to sleep, he lays down with me. And when I rise, he rise. His intention always is to lead and direct my path.
I As always, since my revolution, is to defeat him. See Eagles. Ah. the one of my past. Each morning, we face each other in the mirror.
And he looks back at me with hate and jealousy. I smile. I am won by the grace of God. And uh I hope that makes a little sense. Mitch then counseled Bo on how he can work his way back.
into Donna's good graces one day at a time. It's like I see it before. The only way you can show her The only way you can show her that it's not you, that's the devil, is dead. You got to it. you got to go on in and show her that, hey, You work.
You are worth her making an effort. You are worth her forgiving you. You're worth it. And you you just and you you got to just sacrifice. You got to go in and sacrifice.
You got to prove. You got to go through redemption. You got to be redeemed. Yeah. She ain't Jesus Christ.
And if no.
So, you can't expect the same thing from her that you expect from Jesus Christ because she's here with me at the end of the day, she's been hurt. She get the train. And she heard what you were human. You got a job, Paduta. Mitch expresses gratitude here for the blessing to be able to have a conversation.
with someone in such desperate need. of spiritual guidance. It's good to know who y'all. It grieves me. And uh I'm glad that uh we we know who we are.
I'm glad that I had the opportunity. I I I really mean that. I think I thank you this morning. Uh Belida, thank you. both uh you guys have uh any time that if I can say or do anything to help anybody.
This is a blessing. Any time that I could sit down and communicate with somebody that We could uh Help each other, or we can enlighten each other, just like King Solomon said.
Social steel sharpen steel, man sharpen man, or human sharpen human. And but anyway, we do that by discussing and everything. I feel good. I love you guys and I thank God for you all you all have a good Sunday, okay?
Well, the same with us, Mitch. This is this has been awesome. I appreciate your time and and All your words, they mean a lot, and I'll take them to heart. All right now. And uh it go it gonna be great.
But like I said, you got to be the snack official lamb right now.
Well, I hope to talk to you again and give you an update. All right. God bless. God bless. Okay, bye-bye.
Take care. Bye-bye. Man, you've been listening to Big Mitch. Council. One of my best friends threw a really tough patch in his life.
Again, one that he created for himself. and one that Big Mitch created for himself. Mitch never ever made excuses for why he ended up in prison. He owned it. He took responsibility for it.
And that's the beginning of any redemption journey. And his words here. You just gotta sacrifice. He tells Bo. You've got to go through the redemption process.
She's been hurt. and you hurt her. But you got a job to do. What wisdom, what advice, and again, Big Pitch has never been married, but boy, does he know about the journey. That redemption journey particularly The story of Big Mitch continues here on our American stories after these messages.
Ten athletes will face the toughest job interview in fitness that will push past physical and mental breaking points. You are the fittest of the fit. Only one of you will leave here with an IFIT contract for $250,000. This is where mindset comes in.
Someone will be eliminated. Pressure is coming down. Pit. It's Trainer Games. Watch it on Prime Video starting January 8th.
Yeah. Shhh. You won't believe what my new friend just told me about dinosaurs. Is your child having conversations you never imagined? Are they learning without realizing it?
It's not a tablet. It's not a toy. It's Miko Mini Plus, the AI-powered companion that turns curiosity into endless learning. Hear the future of playtime. Meet the extraordinary Miko Mini Plus.
Only at Costco. Come for the Black Friday seasonal savings. Stay for the award-winning reporting. For a limited time, access to the Washington Post is just 99 cents. That's unlimited access to all of the posts for only 99 cents every four weeks.
That's a great deal for the first year. After that, it'll cost $12 every four weeks. You can cancel any time. But don't wait, this Black Friday seasonal offer won't be here for long. Go to Washington Post dot com slash iHeart and grab this deal before it's gone.
That's Washington Post dot com slash iHeart. This is Sophie Cunningham from Show Me Something. Do you know the symptoms of moderate to severe obstructive sleep apnea, or OSA, in adults with obesity? They may be happening to you without you knowing. If anyone has ever said you snored loudly or if you spend your days fighting off excessive tiredness, irritability, and concentration issues, it may be due to OSA.
OSA is a serious condition where your airway partially or completely collapses during sleep, which may cause breathing interruptions and oxygen deprivation. Learn more at don'tsleep on OSA.com. This information is provided by Lilly, a medicine company. Bring incredible sound into every corner of your home this holiday with the new WimSound smart speaker. Get high-resolution audio with a 1.8-inch touchscreen, smart control, and modern design in one powerful speaker for just $2.99.
From quiet mornings to lively holiday gatherings, WimSound makes every moment sound better and feel better too. Get the gift of the season for the music enthusiast in your life or for yourself: WimSound. Beautifully designed, effortlessly connected. Shop now at Amazon and search WimSound. That's W-I-I-M-S-O-U-N-D.
And we return to Our American Stories and episode seven of Sunday Mornings with Big Mitch. And having finished with Bo, We continued our conversation, Mitch and I, and he expressed to me that one of the greatest joys in his life. is the opportunity to offer guidance to those in need. But he owes his talents to one lady in particular, who offered him the same white he was offering Beau. when he was stuck in the darkness.
I still slurry it. She was a reading specialist. And she found out that I couldn't read and write and one day when she said, I w I want you to start to just think about things and and do the best you can. to write down the things that you think. And I I didn't understand what she was talking about.
And uh So she told me, said, Well, what you think about being in that seal? And this round about this about eighty five or something like that, I began to, uh, start to puts finishes together. you know, still struggling with misspelling and what have you and so she never would call me Mitchell. She always called me Mitchell, she said, because Mitchell sounds too much like other words.
So she said, well, Mitchell, how do you feel about being in that cell that you're in all day? And I said, Well, you know, it's not a good feeling. And uh then And she said whereas, you know, write about how you feel about some of the guys up there. And it went on.
So I I guess around about eighty Six. That's when she tells me she said, Well, you know, she always encouraged me. She she did that, you know, and uh she said, Well, uh, Mitchell, you you is a poet. At the time I I I I I really didn't know what a poet meant. I I never heard the word poet if I I really didn't know what a poet was.
So I said, Well, you know, So I wasn't ashamed. to ask her anything 'cause I knew I had found I did that she really and I need his help. And uh I said, Well, what is the point?
So she told me. a person that is able to uh articulate worries and put them in a format. to make a person be able to feel things or see things that They'll not even proceed on their own or what have you. And so that's how it started. And I began to uh growing, growing and I still really didn't feel that I was a poet, but I began to do more and more and uh I began to write and write more things, how I feel about things and so on and, uh I guess around about about ninety five.
Surprise. Ten years later. I I began to believe that okay well Mitch, maybe you are a boy, you know. I don't know, you know, so I was still on the limb right there, unbelief in myself about that particular talent. And uh but I began to see how some of the guys was uh respond to some of the things that I wrote.
And then I began to uh sit down and just write about everything I can think of, life. anything, you know, and and didn't even know how I did it, or didn't know that I had that type of mind that could do that. I I really didn't know that I could Accumulate. uh uh uh thoughts like that and uh I began to believe I guess round by Twenty years later. I began to believe by 2005, about 20 years later, I began to believe, okay, well, okay, well, Mitch, you a poet.
As he developed as a writer, Big Mitch began to write with intention. Here's Mitch on the why. behind his work. When I sit down to write. My intention was to write something that could awaken someone or that can Here for someone.
See clear. once they read is I understand the struggles that they're going through once they read it and it starts to center around. The creator. We got the info. of most of my poems.
It ends with individuals understanding the relationship. We got Understanding that all that we go through in life. if we are going through it without seeking him. then we're gonna be lost and confused. regardless what you gain or what you're seeking or what you're trying to accomplish.
At the end of the day, If God is not at the root of it, Yeah. She ain't gonna rid of me. containing or completing in nothing you do. And it turns out that Big Mitch needed encouragement to grow in his newfound talents. And Sister Lillian, well, she never missed an opportunity to remind Mitch of his value.
She would always tell me things. Uh Mitchell, you are a a counselor. Mitchell, you are a very thought-provoking person. She encouraged me always in which she did. God used her to bring out any talents that I had.
in me that I didn't know exist. Because that was her whole But general concern to me to helped me understand who I were, that was talent-wise or good wise to come out. And she's constantly motivated me and pushed me and wouldn't let up on me. And I thank God for that. She was uh I I can recall like uh Poor.
been won to uh She even had me to draw her with Peter. Great on. She constantly uh uh pushed me in in in in every way possible to be a better person to uh Bring out. the qualities in me that God placed in me. And and and and writing.
helped me to realize that, hey, well, Mitchell, you are God gave you ability to be able to, uh Get in front of people is to uh make a difference in their lives, you know. She motivated me, she the one encouraged me to do that and I did that a long time. And I came to a conclusion Okay, well. Yeah. Meet you all.
You you you you speak oh. By the grace of God. You know. She, um I used to tell her about some of the things that I used to talk to guys about and listen to them, you know, and she said, Well, uh, Nitcher, you're a counselor. You know, I said, Well, you know, okay, sister.
And she said, You really are. She said, Because. You gotta. Uh uh Understanding here, you know, and she said you listen to what a person got to say. And uh, she said you you you don't judge them on what they said.
as we know a king. Because, you know, I got false too. Oh Yeah. But um She always uh motivate me and and and push me in a in in in a positive direction. And you've been listening to episode 7 of Sunday Mornings with Big Mitch.
And my goodness. The role that Sister Lillian played in his life. And by the way, we all have those encouragers in our life. Also, the ones who hold us accountable. And they're generally the same person.
He said of Sister Lillian, She encouraged me always. God used her to bring out any talents that I had. She helped me understand who I was and what my talent was. And I thank God for that. And I know anyone listening here has that person in their life, maybe two if they're lucky, or three if they're blessed.
When we come back. The final portion of episode 7. of Sunday Mornings with Big Mitch. 10 athletes will face the toughest job interview in fitness that will push past physical and mental breaking points. You are the fittest of the fit.
Only one of you will leave here with an IFIT contract for $250,000. This is where mindset comes in.
Someone will be eliminated. Pressure is coming down. Peggy. It's Trainer Game. Watch it on Prime Video starting January 8th.
Then the space hamster flew his hot air balloon all the way to the bottom of the ocean. Where did that story come from? Book? Dream? Nope, it came from a conversation.
Meet Miko Mini Plus, the AI companion that co-creates personalized story adventures with your child in real time. What color was the hamster's cape? And what did he pack for lunch? Unlock your child's imagination. Discover Miko Mini Plus and the magic of AI exclusively at Costco.
Come for the Black Friday seasonal savings. Stay for the award-winning reporting. For a limited time, access to the Washington Post is just 99 cents. That's unlimited access to all of the posts for only 99 cents every four weeks. That's a great deal for the first year.
After that, it'll cost $12 every four weeks. You can cancel any time. But don't wait, this Black Friday seasonal offer won't be here for long. Go to Washington Post dot com slash iHeart and grab this deal before it's gone. That's Washington Post dot com slash iHeart.
This is Sophie Cunningham from Show Me Something. Do you know the symptoms of moderate to severe obstructive sleep apnea or OSA in adults with obesity? They may be happening to you without you knowing. If anyone has ever said you snored loudly or if you spend your days fighting off excessive tiredness, irritability, and concentration issues, it may be due to OSA. OSA is a serious condition where your airway partially or completely collapses during sleep, which may cause breathing interruptions and oxygen deprivation.
Learn more at don't sleep on osa.com. This information is provided by Lilly, a medicine company. Bring incredible sound into every corner of your home this holiday with the new Wim Sound smart speaker. Get high-resolution audio with a 1.8-inch touchscreen, smart control, and modern design in one powerful speaker for just $2.99. From quiet mornings to lively holiday gatherings, Wim Sound makes every moment sound better and feel better too.
Get the gift of the season for the music enthusiast in your life or for yourself. Wim Sound, beautifully designed, effortlessly connected. Shop now at Amazon and search Wim Sound. That's W-I-I-M-S-O-U-N-D. And we continue with Our American Stories and our seventh installment.
of Sunday mornings with Big Mitch. We learn here from Mitch that it's easy to lose sight of who you are in prison, where any signs of weakness are met with great risk of danger. But Sister Lillian was there to remind Mitch not to entertain the crowd. Here's Big Mitch. Yeah.
person that I am now, you know. God give credit, but the person that I am now, she's the one that helped mold it and shaped me. She really did that. Because she took hands-on with me and and she encouraged me. to be a writer.
She encouraged me to read things. She, uh, gave me information on all type of stuff, you know, to learn and study and grow. and then become a better person, you know, uh Don't be like the other guys. The main thing she used to tell me are don't entertain the audience. You know, and how that came up, you know, she's Catholic.
And uh we own the visiting yard. She's trying to give me communion. But I'm out there with guys that I know. And and and she can talk the officers into letting her bring the communion on the yard and give me the communion 'cause all of them liked her and respected her.
So As with social agents, you know, uh There's not the place to do that. Oh, would I say that for? I don't know what I said that for. And uh Yeah. That's what she told me.
She said, Listen. She said, uh, you gonna entertain the audience or you finna have communion with whi which one you gonna do? She said it goes up. If you want to entertain the audience, then I just I I can get up and go. Are you overtaking me and you then I can stay?
I said, we're association with I I would like for you to stay. She said, Okay then.
So she said, You're going to take her near you? I said, Well, yeah. And so after that, I wasn't so much concerned about the guys around me and how they felt about what I'm doing because you know once you come out of the vegetation yard, they're gonna bring it back to the camp. About what, you know, oh, Mitch out there, he's he's this, he's that, you know. But anyway, she helped me with that.
And I I from then on, Anything that was beneficial to me, anything that was good for me, I wasn't concerned about how. Individual files about that interval. And we learn here that with great love comes great loss, and for Mitch a loss much greater than his own freedom was soon to prove a challenge to his strongly developed faith. Swiss delillion came in my life in nineteen eighty five She passed in 2015. And uh she was a constant figure in my life.
For those many years. She had counsel. She realized several years, about five or six years before. before she passed. She had a car accident.
And in in having a car accident, she She went to the doctor every day and they discovered that she had cancer. Get on bread.
So when we get on the visit yard. And um Mm, she told me about, you know, what the doctor said and She said that, you know, that uh she had cancer in an area of her of of her body. that the doctors Bye. Once they got rid of her, but they said that if if she didn't remove Paul was it. particular area of her body that it's a possibility to come back.
And I said, well, uh, so I would have it removed. She said, No. She said, I I'm gonna leave the world. Saying where I came in the world. There it is.
She was she was she was she was doing bad. She was she was doing I kept telling Susan Looking, I said, Well, you are not gonna leave this world, even though you are not gonna die. And uh it it was difficult to see, you know, her because she, um Yeah. they said, you know, they they they they they had to take all the hair off. and and and and she didn't, you know, she had to wear a weed and and stuff like that and Take a look at the she was always particular about how she looked and everything and, um, So uh The council was really bothering her, and uh I was.
we was praying and I was praying and I kept telling us so slowly and you know you you know, God gonna hear you, you're gonna you're gonna be okay in it. She's she's uh mutual. I'm not going. Spend my life. She said, I don't want to wait another two or three years.
She said, I don't want to suffer another two or three years just to go and have all these different treatments and putting things in me and the you know, the uh morphine pants and I and stuff like that.
So, she didn't want to go do that. And uh I I'm trying to tell her, I was supposed to let you, you know, uh, another two, three years, you don't know what might happen, you know, uh may come up with something that would have you and But she wasn't here. She wasn't she said, you know, and uh 'cause she wasn't afraid to death, you know, she wasn't afraid to die. You know, she really, really, really believed The new Where she was gone. you know.
And that's and that's the difference. between the person that said but really believe it. And uh So well. But I didn't want to accept the fact that she gonna go. I realized then that, you know, then she would write me a letter and she wanted me she wanted to make sure that I'm I'm okay.
with her leaving this world. And I wasn't. And I knew that I was holding her up. I knew So I f wow, I think I gotta start this. Show off.
I got I got it, you know. I read it, you know. Pray.
So when I called her 'cause I used to call her at least two or three times a week and I I said, So celebrating, I said, uh, which the hardest thing in the world for me to do. you know, is this except that I accept that she can die. I I God knows I didn't want to do that. And we went on and talked.
So Ludians she is not talking. you know She refused to take the medication and stuff like that. as a wish yet.
So That's your point. the phone to her ear. And they'll hear my voice. Yeah. She did that and and and she still wouldn't respond, so I I I said, Lord, I'm mercy Jesus.
Because now the person that have been in my life, like my mother, from nineteen eighty five to twenty fifteen, now she can't even she she she can't even respond to me. I can't hear her voice, you know, that mine that messed me up. That messed me up real bad, so I hung up the telephone. Oh. Went to the toilet area where you know where, and I sat down there and I cried.
You know, I craft. and uh cried and prayed. I just couldn't believe it. I called back about two, three more days. They tell me that they can put her in the uh medical complex.
Says she's not talking at all, says it. Unresponsive. call back about three or four more days. Is this yet done? And that's what it really exists.
Um Okay. But league is filled from a bottomless.
So, uh, I go back to my rank, you know, the cubicle where I where I live at uh a guy in there that's sleeping there with me, uh, he knew something was wrong. But he he he really didn't know, you know, 'cause I wasn't telling anybody what was going on. And um The guy knew so yeah, you know, but they they didn't do uh They didn't know how she had cancer like that, so when they told me she died, my mind just went to running in thousand directions and I because I never thought I would be in prison. without her being alive. And uh So I I sit down on my beauty show.
Uh meet you okay so yeah, yeah, I'm okay, man.
So I get up, I go back. Get him back go back to the stall and sit down and cry some more. Didn't know what to do, uh, so somebody is gone. And a terrific job on the production, editing, and storytelling by our own Reagan Habib and Greg Hengler. And as always, a special thanks to Big Mitch.
My goodness, we've got counseling in the first half. Anyone who's going through any kind of marital strife, what great advice! And for any other kind of strife in your life, go to God. And of course his conversation about Sister Lillian His words And her death, it was just so hard for Mitch to accept, so hard for all of us to, that person who championed us, that person who loved us. Just unrelentingly.
He said this: she really, really believed and knew where she was going. And I didn't want to accept the fact. that she was gonna go. She would write me a letter and she wanted to make sure that I was okay with her leaving this world. and I wasn't.
And I knew that I was holding her up. And then those days came and that word came that she died. And Mitch, well, he said, I my mind just went through running In thousands of directions, I didn't know what to do. Sunday Mornings with Big Mitch, Episode 7. Here.
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