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That's washable sofas.com. Offers are subject to change and certain restrictions may apply. If you eat too many ultra-processed foods, you could be starving your gut microbes, and they'll get hangry. That's one of many things I learned after working on a new audio course about the gut microbiome. You can learn how to keep your gut happy by listening to Try This from the Washington Post.
I'm Christina Quinn. I host Try This. Dig in with me on practical advice for life's common challenges. Follow Try This right now wherever you're listening. Seriously, try it.
My finance guy is like, you know, we talk every day about stocks. We should just shut up and bought Bitcoin. Just shut up and bought Bitcoin, forget everything else and bank. I have all my crypto on Kraken. Dave Portnoy trusts Kraken with his crypto.
So do millions of clients around the world. Download the app today and get $10 in Bitcoin after your first trade of $10 or more. Just enter code iHeart10 under Add Invite Code when you sign up. Not investment advice. Crypto trading involves risk of loss and is offered to U.S.
customers through Payward Interactive Inc. Terms and conditions apply. As a parent, you wear many hats. At dinner, you're the chef. When your kids play, you're the ref.
And let's face it, you're basically a full-time chauffeur. Fortunately, when it's time to wear your teacher hat, Abecca makes things easy. Our proven, flexible homeschool curriculum is designed to let your kids retain and build on the knowledge they acquire, setting them up for success later in life. Abecca, learning for life begins with the right homeschool education. Learn more at Abekahomeschool.com.
Right now, America's Christian Credit Union is offering the top 12-month certificate rate in the nation. This limited time offer is just for new ACCU members. Earn 4.75% APY on deposits up to $1 million, and it only takes $1,000 to get started. It's called a term share certificate, similar to a CD, but with a mission and supports what matters: Christian schools, churches, adoptions, and more. Visit America's ChristianCU.com to get started.
America's Christian Credit Union is federally insured by the NCUA. This is Lee Habib, and this is our American Stories. And we tell stories about everything here on this show: from the arts to sports, and from business to history, and everything in between. And this next story comes to us from Houston, Texas, where we are heard on K-T-R-H. 740.
A great member of the iHeart. Family. In 2006, Chrissy Moran fled the porn industry. Today the married Chrissy outlawed helps other women do the same. And just to note, this parts of the subject matter here might not be appropriate for young, young children.
But teenagers are over and it's worth them listening to this story too. Here's Chrissy. to share her story. My earliest memories were probably When I was four years old, my mom and my dad. There was a time when they went to church every Sunday.
My dad was very, very, very religious in every sense of the word. When I was four years old, he told me that if any man ever touched me, to let him know and he would kill them. As a four-year-old, that was terrifying.
So The first time that I was molested I was four years old. And I went across the street. to swim in our neighbor's pool. They had Kids and me and my brother went over there, and their father was the one who molested me. And I n was kind of scared 'cause I'm like I don't want to tell anybody What if my dad kills somebody?
So I never told anybody until Around Thirty years old. When I told somebody And My Mom and my dad, their relationship was really toxic. He had started drinking and became an alcoholic, was drinking all the time. He became violent. He would get angry at dumb things.
He's flipped over our dinner table. He has put his fist through things. He was erratic and out of control. And it was scary. My mom tried to shelter us from.
His anger, you know, when they would have fights, she would tell us to go in our room and close the door and We never really talked about it. play around 12 years old or so they ended up sitting us down and saying that they're gonna get a divorce.
So When I was thirteen and I My mom had remarried and She married a police officer and he was very likable. And I I decided I would rather live with my mom where things seemed a little more stable.
So My dad got really s upset and when he got upset he would cry. He he cries like snot comes out of his nose like I'm talking intense Crying, and he did that quite a bit, but to let me go, it really broke his heart. And he did say You know, if you move on with your mom, you're gonna become a whore like her. And my mom was not a whore. She's only been with my dad, um, but she just remarried, so I feel like he didn't realize it, but he spoke those words over me.
And I mean, I didn't think that would ever happen, but I think there is power in words. Um Yeah.
So It was really hard for him. It was hard for my brother too. My brother was two years younger than me. But life with my mom and my stepdad wasn't perfect either. Like I don't blame her, but She spent a lot of time with my stepdad and Not Very much how with me.
I had a lot of resent for that and I became very rebellious because I felt like nobody. knew me. I had no Encouragement. I had nothing positive in my life. And so as a teenager, I did a lot of bad things like shoplifting.
So, yeah. That was Horrible, horrible, but we kept getting away with it and Yeah. Yeah, I um shoplifted my prom dress. Yeah. It was so terrible.
My mom was like, where did you get this dress? I said, oh, Leanne, let me borrow it. She didn't believe me. I don't even know how she knew. I mean, it was like she knew that I was shoplifting, but she didn't.
And so as a teenager, you know, getting older and starting to like boys and everything, I had like my first real relationship when I was sixteen, I think. And my boyfriend was in college. And I realised that if I was with him, I felt loved. But when I was seventeen I got pregnant. This boy said he would marry me and we would have the baby if I ever got pregnant.
So it happened. And then he said he wouldn't marry me because he needs to finish college and He he gave me no support, so I was taken to get an abortion That summer. Before my senior year of high school, and then it got all around the school, and all the friends that I had wouldn't speak to me, and I turned into the person that everybody talks about and doesn't sit with.
So, I didn't really graduate with very many friends. I ended up Breaking up with that boyfriend, and then I went with with another guy, and He and I moved in together.
So It was really disappointing when he Um god. Playboy T V or or whatever on our T V. he would watch this stuff. When I wasn't home, and then whenever I realized what it was, then he wanted to watch it with me. It wasn't like hardcore porn.
Um but it was enough to make me feel Like He didn't love me very much. It just made me feel like it made me feel ugly that I couldn't be like those girls. They're better than me. They deserve. in a more Attention to me because they're prettier than me.
And I hated that feeling so much. I hated the women that were in the movies. when we come back more of Chrissy's story here. on our American stories. Lee Habib here, and I'd like to encourage you to subscribe to Our American Stories on Apple Podcasts, the iHeartRadio app, Spotify, or wherever you get our podcasts.
Any story you missed or want to hear again can be found there daily. Again, Please subscribe to the Our American Stories podcast on Apple Podcasts, the iHeartRadio app, or anywhere you get your podcasts. It helps us keep these great American stories coming. There's nothing like sinking into luxury. At washablesofas.com, you'll find the Anibay sofa, which combines ultimate comfort and design at an affordable price.
And get this, it's the only sofa that's fully machine washable from top to bottom, starting at only $699. The stain-resistant performance fabric slip covers and cloud-like frame duvet can go straight into your wash. Perfect for anyone with kids, pets, or anyone who loves an easy-to-clean, spotless sofa. With a modular design and changeable slip covers, you can customize your sofa to fit any space and style. Whether you need a single chair, love seat, or a luxuriously large sectional, Anibay has you covered.
Visit washablesofas.com to upgrade your home. Right now, you can shop up to 60% off store-wide with a 30-day money-back guarantee. Shop now at washablesofas.com. Add a little. to your life.
Offers are subject to change and certain restrictions may apply. If you eat too many ultra-processed foods, you could be starving your gut microbes, and they'll get hangry. That's one of many things I learned after working on a new audio course about the gut microbiome. You can learn how to keep your gut happy by listening to Try This from the Washington Post. I'm Christina Quinn.
I host Try This. Dig in with me on practical advice for life's common challenges. Follow Try This right now wherever you're listening. Seriously, try it. From Bitcoin believers to cautious first-timers, Kraken makes it easy to trade crypto in seconds.
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Terms and Conditions Apply. As a parent, you wear many hats. At dinner, you're the chef. When your kids play, you're the ref. And let's face it, you're basically a full-time chauffeur.
Fortunately, when it's time to wear your teacher hat, Abeca makes things easy. Our proven, flexible homeschool curriculum is designed to let your kids retain and build on the knowledge they acquire, setting them up for success later in life. Abeca! Learning for life begins with the right homeschool education. Learn more at AbecaHomeschool.com.
Support for today's show comes from Sonos. Watching games with the Sonos home theater setup makes everything feel more immersive. The Arc Ultra soundbar delivers incredible surround sound that puts you right in the middle of the action, bringing that stadium experience right into my home. And now I've been trying out the Sonos Ace headphones, and like all Sonos products, they perform as good as they look. Sleek design, crystal clear sound, and a super comfortable fit.
Check out the full lineup at sonos.com. And we continue with Our American stories and with Chrissy Outlaw's story. Let's pick up. where we last left off. I could also see why he would want to look at that because it was way better than looking at me.
So I tried to like just. be open-minded. We didn't last very long. We lived together for a few months and then we broke up. And then I moved back home.
And what happened is, first off, the internet just started. It was the beginning of the internet. And Yep, it was a long time ago. And I found these chat rooms and stuff, um, so I could communicate with other people.
So I would, you know, work all day. I would come back to my mom's house and get online and started meeting men to date. And I met quite a few of them. I had no regard for my life at all. Because if I didn't feel loved, then nothing mattered.
You know, it's. I would do anything of For that.
So I met up with a few different guys. I had been raped. I had been roofied.
So, anyway. You know, I noticed that some of the girls had like modeling portfolios that were online. And so the g some of the girls in the chat room, so become friends with them and then I w was led to that and I was looking at these girls' pictures and they're models, and they're getting people to hire them to do shoots.
So I was like.
Well I just wanted to see if I could do it. I just wanted to see if.
somebody would think I was pretty enough to do it. found some like snapshots, put them online. People started contacting me to do work, but the work that they wanted me to do was porn. And so I hated porn. I didn't want to be in porn.
It represented. you know, insecurity for me. And fear and all of those things And it was a photographer that had shot some famous women who end up being on Playboy. And I felt like they look so beautiful. Maybe if he thinks he can make me like look like that, then Okay, I'll try it.
Because he had confidence in me.
So the first night we shot. When he started asking me to remove clothing, I just remember feeling Like my heart was racing and just feeling like, What am I doing? Like in my head, what am I doing? What am I doing? And then I told myself.
you know, like I can't like I felt like it couldn't be there so I learned to dissociate, which was something I learned as a child, and I didn't know it.
So, that you're not really there. It's really hard to explain, but I checked out. And the next day, he wanted to shoot me again, and he wanted to push my boundaries a little more. And I didn't want to, and I told him I didn't want to, but then. During the shoot it you know, he guided it and he got the photos that he wanted.
And you know, again, getting authors for work. I was depressed. I didn't feel loved. But is people capped? asking me to do shoots so i was like well there's something about me that somebody likes So eventually I You said yes again.
I shot with a photographer, shot in a huge mansion. You know, the marble floors, winding staircases, it was beautiful. And the shoot that I did, you have a hair person, you have a makeup person, you have everything. I felt Beautiful. I felt glamorous.
I felt like they loved me. And As we will shoot, And I would start removing articles of clothing Checked out, and that's how I was throughout my whole time in the industry. And I had to check out because. How could I deal with what I was doing? morally, I didn't feel like it was right.
You know, it's not how I grew up. I mean, I'm not going to be the moral police. I know that. You know, a lot of people get into it for a lot of different reasons, but this is my story and I think a lot of people can identify with some of it.
So I got really good at dissociating and I shot with those people, got more photos, put newer pictures up. I quit my J job because I was making good money. And I do want to make it clear that. I take responsibility for everything that I did, 100%. It was my choice, I did it.
Take full responsibility for what I've done in my life. I didn't have. I didn't really have anybody, you know, throughout my teen years tell me like what kind of man to look for, what do you want a relationship, how to be healthy, how to love somebody.
So, you know, I've learned that as I went along in my young adult life.
So anyway, those photographers introduced me to my manager. And now I started with a manager who would book me. I would go from Florida to LA all the time, do it. I would do some shoots and then go back home. And I was lit I ended up moving with this other guy.
Uh Okay. I ended up moving in with I don't I I can't even be serious about this anymore because it's so it's so ridiculous. Oh my gosh.
Okay.
So I guess I was addicted to love, so I ended up moving with another guy. He started managing my porn career. Taking on the money, pushing me to go even further into things that I wasn't comfortable with. And I did it. We dated for a year.
Um I thought I was going to break up with him at some point but he ended up ending the relationship. And It devastated me.
Now I live in Tampa, I didn't know anybody. He kicked me out out of the house.
So, you know, I was really afraid to be by myself.
So, I just moved in the apartment complex across the street. I was scared. And I started online dating again because how else am I going to meet anybody? I don't go anywhere. I don't know any people.
So, I did that. And that's when I met My Um abusive ex-boyfriend. He did so many things, pulling me by my hair. He's going to put me six feet under like every day. I never knew what I was going to get with him.
And I guess I felt like he was like my dad. My dad had intense emotions and I never felt like my dad, um I felt when he cried that he was genuinely re remorseful.
So for some reason I thought the the same with this guy.
So when we would have a fight, he didn't really mean to do it. You know, he still loves me. He's crying.
So That relationship was three and a half years of the seven total years I was in the sex industry. This boyfriend and I, um, he did a lot of drugs, so I started doing drugs with him.
Some horrible things happened. Sexual assault? Gosh, it's so crazy to hear myself say that because I didn't really Call it that. Before, but it was. But anyway, I ended up getting out of that relationship.
One day, um, I ended up having a Friend that was doing makeup for us, move in with us, and he told me after living with us for a little while that he told me, He's like, Chrissy, you need to get out of this relationship. Like, he's cheating on you, and he's telling me all about it. And I already kind of knew he was probably cheating with. Various people. And I was like, well, I want to, but I never have found anybody that will help me.
I can't just like, I couldn't just leave because he is abusive. He would hide my phone. He would hide my stuff from me. If we had a fight, he would hide my phone and he wouldn't be back for days.
So. My friend. Bobby, his name's Bobby. He said, Chrissy, I'll help you.
So we loaded up as much as we could into our car. I took a small, like, carry-on suitcase. But we just needed to get out of Las Vegas, which is where we were at that point.
So we moved out, we went to LA, but I would tell my manager when I was available, I had a website that was successful. Um so I didn't have to do things outside of that. because of the success of the website. not trying to brag about it, but that was the situation. When we come back more of Chrissy's story here.
on our American stores. Let's be real. Life happens. Kids spill. Pets shed.
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It's time to upgrade to a stress-free, mess-proof sofa. Visit washablefas.com today and save. That's washablefas.com. Offers are subject to change and certain restrictions may apply. If you eat too many ultra-processed foods, you could be starving your gut microbes, and they'll get hangry.
That's one of many things I learned after working on a new audio course about the gut microbiome. You can learn how to keep your gut happy by listening to Try This from the Washington Post. I'm Christina Quinn. I host Try This. Dig in with me on practical advice for life's common challenges.
Follow Try This right now wherever you're listening. Seriously, try it. My finance guy is like, you know, we talk every day about stocks. We should just shut up and bought Bitcoin. Just shut up and bought Bitcoin, forget everything else, and bank.
I have all my crypto on Kraken. Dave Portnoy trusts Kraken with his crypto.
So do millions of clients around the world. Download the app today. Get $10 in Bitcoin after your first trade of $10 or more. Just enter code iHeart10 under Add Invite Code when you sign up. Not investment advice.
Crypto trading involves risk of loss and is offered to U.S. customers through Payward Interactive Inc. Terms and Conditions Apply. Right now, America's Christian Credit Union is offering the top 12-month certificate rate in the nation. This limited time offer is just for new ACCU members.
Earn 4.75% APY on deposits up to $1 million, and it only takes $1,000 to get started. It's called a term share certificate, similar to a CD, but with the mission and supports what matters: Christian schools, churches, adoptions, and more. Visit America's ChristianCU.com to get started. America's Christian Credit Union is federally insured by the NCUA. You think you know snap judgment.
Yes, it's on NPR, it's podcasts, and storytelling, but Snap has gone deeper. Stranger, wilder. We've taken you places that the New York Times, the Rolling Stones, the Ambys, the Webby's, the Gracies all stood up for. The podcast's on the fame. Good Washington.
Award-winning stories, original beats, sound sneaks that drop you into the heart of the story. Find Snap Touch from KQED every Thursday, wherever you get your podcast. And we continue with our American stories and with the story of Chrissy Outlaw. who fled the porn industry in two thousand six. And up till now we've covered How she ended up in this business.
And soon we'll be hearing about how she got out.
Now we return to Chrissy. with more of her story.
So I was like deep into it now. I've been in for so long. Um, my friend That lived with me, Bobby, came home. took a bunch of pills. I think I it was like Xanax and some other stuff.
He saw me laying there and he tried to wake me up and he was having a really hard time waking me up.
So he turned on the the water in the in the bathtub and he gave me a bath and like, you know, tried to get me to wake up and eventually I did. And to be honest, I don't remember that part. But I ended up meeting this guy, my next boyfriend.
So this guy wasn't abusive. He was really nice and he was really funny and he was really. Like a cool guy, and I liked him.
So, after like the first week, he says, Why don't you just stay?
So, I moved in because that's what I do. That moogen. We were together for a year and a half, but we were together all the time, which made me feel super secure. And I I felt like he loved me. Towards the end of our relationship, he told a neighbor when he was asked Why don't you get married?
He told my next door neighbor, Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? And I actually I heard at the end of it. And I kind of freaked out. I mean Inside, I didn't really say anything about it, but I was like, did he really just say that? Because I was just walking up.
Anyway, so one at the end of our relationship, a year and a half, he has to go shoot for this movie. He was just a regular actor, stunt guy, photographer. You know, in LA you have to wear many hats.
So as I was saying goodbye to him, I said, Please don't go to any strip clubs. He laughed and, you know, he left. And one night he called me and I heard music and it was two o'clock in the morning and I said, Where are you? and he said he was at a restaurant. called P.
F. Chang's. And he was drunk. I was like, you are not a P.F. Chang.
I was super insecure. My heart was broken 'cause I knew, I just knew that's where he had gone. And even though I did Porn I I felt like I was always Devoted to the men in my life because I didn't work with men.
So anything else is just acting. And to me, that's where I'm coming from when I say don't go to a strip club. Is that I wasn't lusting after men, but if he does something like that, he's going to be lusting after a woman that's not me. And even though we weren't married, one of the things that's one of the things that my dad. told me is that If a man looks at you with lust and he's already Committed adultery with you in his heart, and so I didn't want that to happen.
I wanted him to think I was the best, and He didn't need anything else. Because I was that girl. Why would he want to go see another girl like me when I'm already that girl? I felt like I was his dream girl. I did everything, I was sweet, kind.
Kind, loving, give anything for him.
So, and I know it sounds dumb, but. Um that's just where I was at the time.
So when he said he wasn't at the strip club that night. I my heart broke and I fell on the floor and I was just like When I was 11 years old, when I came to know Jesus, and I. believed, but through all these years that had gone by, I didn't know where God was. I was rebellious. I was like.
Why didn't you save me from this? Why didn't you save me from that? Like, if you're real, like. I didn't feel him in my life. You know, the r the reason is I wasn't trying to have him in my life.
I didn't I really just didn't know Jesus. As an adult, I knew him when I was a kid, but I didn't know how. How else do you know him? You know? How you experience him being in your life as an adult is different.
So I didn't know where Jesus was. I didn't know. I thought he had left me. He didn't love me. He didn't care about me.
And, you know, that's I saw that love in everything else, in everybody else.
So I fell to the ground in my kitchen, and I was sitting there, and I started praying. And I said, God, if you're real, I need. You to show me because everything that I know about love is twisted and perverted. It's not right and not the way that I was told it should be. I was confused.
So, the next day or so, I made a list: pros and cons why I should stay with him. I had to think. with the facts and and not so much with my heart.
So I realized I had more reasons to break up with him than to be with him. Still I went to Albuquerque. Where he was filming, and the next day, we I went on set with that with my boyfriend. He had introduced me to a few of the people, and it was pretty much all Amen. That day.
So, somebody who was standing out there chatting got a picture and It they started passing the cell phone around to each other and everybody was, you know, reacting to it. And I said, What is it? And my boyfriend said, Oh, it's so-and-so's wife, and she's topless. And I got super triggered. to like like nothing else because Marriage is supposed to be sacred.
Like, you don't do that. to your wife. And so I was like, well You know. I would hope that if I Was married to someone that they wouldn't do that to me. Even though I had done porn, I always imagined that the guy.
who I marry. is gonna respect me more than I've ever respected myself. Um So anyway, I said that and I'm not a brave person. I'm a very shy person so I don't know where that courage came from but Everybody started laughing at me. After I said that.
And you know, the this guy that I had just met Um And he that was sitting next to me, he says, Well, if I was married, I wouldn't show that to anyone. It would just be only for me. And say I looked at him and I'm like, What? Like there are people like that in the world. And so I was In shock.
Anyway, so I ended up talking to that guy again at some point and he said, Um, Chrissy, what do you do for a job? What do you what do you do? And I'm like, Oh, I am a model 'cause I never told people that I did porn. And he said, Well, Um, what kind of model? What do you model?
And I'm like, um Bathing suits, lingerie. I do like. car magazines. Like I started making up all kinds of stuff. And so eventually I said, Okay, I I do adult stuff.
He's like, Adult stuff? Yeah, porn. And he's like, Yeah. He said, Chrissy, I already knew that Because your boyfriend had been showing your pictures to everybody since. you know he's been out here And you're listening to Chrissy Outlaw tell the story of her life.
And her redemption. And there's that key moment where her boyfriend calls from the strip club, and she goes to the floor. on her knees and she's crying and she says god if you're real i need you to show me Everything I think I knew about love is all twisted. And my goodness, was it? And it's real and in the end this story.
Well it takes a turn I think you'll all love. When we come back, more of Chrissy Outlaw's story here. on our American stories. There's nothing like sinking into luxury. At washablesofas.com, you'll find the Anibay sofa, which combines ultimate comfort and design at an affordable price.
And get this, it's the only sofa that's fully machine washable from top to bottom, starting at only $699. The stain-resistant performance fabric slip covers and cloud-like frame duvet can go straight into your wash. Perfect for anyone with kids, pets, or anyone who loves an easy-to-clean, spotless sofa. With a modular design and changeable slip covers, you can customize your sofa to fit any space and style. Whether you need a single chair, love seat, or a luxuriously large sectional, Anibay has you covered.
Visit washablesofas.com to upgrade your home. Right now, you can shop up to 60% off store-wide with a 30-day money-back guarantee. Shop now at washable sofas.com. Add a little. to your life.
Offers are subject to change and certain restrictions may apply. If you eat too many ultra-processed foods, you could be starving your gut microbes, and they'll get hangry. That's one of many things I learned after working on a new audio course about the gut microbiome. You can learn how to keep your gut happy by listening to Try This from the Washington Post. I'm Christina Quinn, I host Try This.
Dig in with me on practical advice for life's common challenges. Follow Try This Right Now, wherever you're listening. Seriously, try it. My finance guy is like, you know, we talk every day about stocks. We should just shut up and bought Bitcoin.
Just shut up and bought Bitcoin, forget everything else, and bank. I have all my crypto on Kraken. Dave Portnoy trusts Kraken with his crypto.
So do millions of clients around the world. Download the app today. Get $10 in Bitcoin after your first trade of $10 or more. Just enter code iHeart10 under Add Invite Code when you sign up. Not investment advice.
Crypto trading involves risk of loss and is offered to U.S. customers through Payward Interactive Inc. Terms and Conditions Apply. Right now, America's Christian Credit Union is offering the top 12-month certificate rate in the nation. This limited time offer is just for new ACCU members.
Earn 4.75% APY on deposits up to $1 million, and it only takes $1,000 to get started. It's called a term share certificate, similar to a CD, but with a mission and supports what matters: Christian schools, churches, adoptions, and more. Visit America's ChristianCU.com to get started. America's Christian Credit Union is federally insured by the NCUA. You think you know stab judgment.
Yes, it's on NPRs. Podcasts and storytelling, but Snap has gone deeper, stranger, wilder. We've taken you places that the New York Times, the Rolling Stones, the Ambys, the Webby's, the Gracies all stood up for. The podcast call of fame. Good Washington!
Award-winning stories, original beats, sound sneaks that drop you into the heart of the story. Find Snap Touch from KQED every Thursday, wherever you get your podcast. And we continue with our American stories and let's pick up where we left off. with Chrissy sharing what she actually did for a living with the man working on her boyfriend's movie set. Let's return to Chrissy.
But then he said, let me ask you something. Do you believe in God? And I said yes. You know, he's like, you can start over, you can have a new life and a new relationship with Christ. We talk for a little bit and he's like.
Do you want to go outside and pray? And I said Sure, yeah. I want to go outside and pray. I wasn't like I was On the verge of crying.
So he told my boyfriend we were gonna go outside and pray. And then my boyfriend was like giving me a look like what? Like he had no idea what was happening.
So we went outside and prayed. We sat at this little table and, you know, I um asked Jesus to come into my heart. I repented of the things that I had done. I had decided to turn away and I was never going to go back. And Because I have prayed for God to give me a sign.
So when he asked me if I believed in God, it was undeniable. That was the sign. That's what I've been looking for. Jesus hasn't, I haven't felt his presence in a long time.
So anyway. Um that night I went to our hotel room. My boyfriend came in. I told him that I couldn't sleep with him anymore. I couldn't sleep in the bed.
Like, I'm gonna sleep on the couch. And he was super confused. And the next day, I went home, I packed up my stuff, I put it in storage, and then I flew to my new friend. Chris. I hit that.
You know, led me to the Lord. I flew out to be with his family. Without him, he was still working on the film. And so I meet these strangers, his mom, his dad, his sister. They were so kind to me and so loving, and they knew what I had done.
They took me to a pastor who was a spiritual warfare pastor. I guess that's what he specialized in. And so. met with him a few times. I was there for like two weeks, I think it was.
When I got on the airplane, I sat next to a woman and she was a counselor to women who have been abused. And she was sharing so much with me. I was sharing so much with her. Yeah, and then on the way back, or I was sitting in the middle of these two guys, and I looked to see what books they were reading. They were reading Christian books.
And the woman gave she sent me a um Purpose-driven life. And I was like, there was no denying that God was in this. Anyway, I got home, went, got back to LA. Yeah. I found my own place to live by myself for the first time ever.
But I went on my website, I had a chat room on my website where I could go in. And talk about anything.
So I made a post saying why I left the porn industry and that they'll never gonna see me again. And that I was sorry that I took them away from the things that were so much more important, like their families and their children. And, you know, I'm never should have became that woman. Then Anyway, so my webmaster found out about it and removed it and kicked me out of my website. And then He sent me a message and he said, If you would have wanted to go because you wanted to start a family or something like that, I would have taken your website down, but not for a fairy tale like God.
It was horrible. They started advertising my website, making vulgar photos of me with Jesus and just. horrible things, horrible. Um, they refused to take the website down. It's still going to this day.
But, you know, he asked me where I wanted the money to go. I said, I do not want any of the money. And I was making like twelve thousand a month.
So I gave up my income because I felt like God told me to do that. He told me not to accept any more money and to trust him. Yeah. And to lean on him, and that he was going to take care of me. And through that, He did take care of me.
Money would come from like nowhere. Just be suddenly, oh, this person wants to donate you a car. You know, I had to give it, I gave up everything: my car, my hair extensions, my fake nails, my fake tan. I gained. A few pounds, I couldn't I only have one pair of jeans that even fit me and then and then even that I couldn't zip them up.
Yes.
So my identity was wrapped up in all of those things, and I had to learn. who I was, and what did I like. What were my hopes and my dreams? And One thing I already knew is that I wanted to be a wife. More than anything.
I wanted to find somebody that loved me. That's somebody I would be with forever. You know, and I had so many broken relationships, I didn't, I thought it was so far out of reach. I would go to church on Sundays. I would go to the young adults' church, and then I would go to another church, and then I would go to Christian Counseling, and then I would listen to all the podcasts I could listen to.
I feel like I had so much catching up to do. Like, I needed to learn everything, and I was thirsty for it, and I wanted it. And every time one of these little things happened, I thought of it as a miracle. And like like God is actually proving himself. over and over and over again.
You can trust me. I am your father. You don't have to like not trust me like I you know, my own dad. I didn't really trust him. I didn't know how he was going to be from day to day.
But um God proved to be A good father. After about five years after I got out of the industry, I decided that I needed to take a break from dating. Because I met this beautiful girl who was my friend and she was she was a m like a model and she was doing this fast from dating and I'm like, that's so weird, but I'm gonna do it too.
So so she was reading this book and so she gave me the book. And I was like, okay, I'm gonna take a three months from dating. And so I met this other guy through a mutual friend on Facebook. And so I was hanging out with his friend a lot. And so on Facebook, he was posting a lot of pictures of me and him hanging out.
And this guy from Houston Okay. Would post underneath Almost everything that this guy said, because this guy was really funny. But the Houston guy would always be one of the people to respond, and then it would be me, or it would be me, and then it would be him. And it would and so I had Just met this guy like talking about I talked on the phone with him for the first time when I decided to go on my fast. Like, I cut off ties with everybody because the purpose of this fast was to focus on Jesus, to get into a deeper relationship with him, and to not be distracted by men.
But God told me it was okay that this guy from Houston, I can talk to him on the phone, but I can't Skype with him.
So he was allowed. And so I told him God told me that you could be my friend through this, but there are rules. You can't tell me I'm pretty. You can't tell me like I had a whole list of things. It was so stupid.
But those are the rules. I assumed he was going to tell me those things, but he didn't. And he kept his word. We I went through the three months. Then God told me to do another six months.
And during this time, this man has sent me a Bible. and we're doing Bible studies. over the phone every day. it went for a year. And then after the after My fast ended.
He had planned to come out to LA. And so that's when we met. We met for the first time. We had talked for so many hours, and I wanted to hold his hand, but he He pulled away from me. It kinda rejected me and I was like, ugh.
You're hurting my feelings by... It's good. That means, because I knew the guy that I was going to marry from my fast, God told me that person was not going to have sex with me before marriage. Anyway. You know, after that, he went home.
We we continued our Bible studies. Um and then I realized I got an email about doing a speaking engagement. And guess what? It was in Houston. And guess what else?
It was on Valentine's Day.
So I went out there. We hung out. Um, he went to my speaking engagement, met me there, and then after that we went to his apartment, he made me some lunch and then he asked me to be his Valentine. And then we got married Let's see, February, March, April, May. Three months later, we got married, and in two months, I moved to Houston.
And now it's been. We're going on We're going on eight years.
So that's my story. And you've been listening to Chrissy Outlaw, and I just love that laugh at the end because it shows you can get through anything. and you can overcome it and she did it with God's help. Great job on this, as always, to Greg Hangler. The Story of Chrissy Outlaw.
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