I Would Kill People for Money... but Then God Gave Me Life

So, my name is Bill Coram. I was the enemy of God for 39 years. I just celebrated my fortieth year as a Christian, but my life. I started it. Let me tell you about the eight times I should have died, one specific time. My sister died seven years ago. And I never knew until she was on her deathbed, and we were talking one day. And I asked her if she was going to be buried in the same cemetery as my mom and dad, because I knew they had two other lots there. And she said, no. She said, Lloyd and I are going to be buried down in another cemetery. She said, why don't you and Debbie take those two lots? And I said, Why did dad have four lots anyway? She said, You don't know. And I said, no, I don't know, Sharon. My sister was seven years older than I was. And so she said when mama was pregnant with you The doctor told Mom and Dad That she would die at giving birth to you, and you would die. And so daddy went and bought four lots. One for you and mama. and then one for him and I when we died. And so I now tell people this: I've known for years that the devil's tried to kill me. I've been in over 25 car wrecks and motorcycle wrecks. I've been in riots and prisons. I've overdosed. A few times. I've had two heart attacks from Duke cocaine. The devil's been trying to kill me forever. But I just found out seven years ago, he was trying to kill me before I was even born. He didn't want me to be born. Telling you how good God is. And the devil did not want me to do that. But it took a long time to get there.

When I was about eight years old, I started smoking cigarettes, I started looking at pornography, I started stealing. And it just progressed. My mom and dad took me to church as a kid, but I was always doing something wrong. Even in church, at church, I was doing stuff wrong. And I was always doing stuff wrong. I had a rebellious streak in me. And the older I got, the worse it got. When I was 18 years old, I was at a crossroads in my life. Let me back up a year before that. I was shooting pool in the pool hall. I stayed in the pool hall about 12 hours a day. I didn't go to school. I learned more in the pool all than I did in school anyway. So that's where I love to go every day. And I was shooting pool one day, and a guy that I barely knew came up behind me and said, Hey, Bill, let's go join the Marines. And I said, let me finish this game. And that's how serious I took life. Because I knew if I didn't like the Marines, I'd just quit. Because I quit everything. I quit jobs, I quit girls. I quit anything that didn't go the way I thought it should go. and so I thought if the Marines don't go right I'll just quit.

And so when I was 18, I stood before a Marine Corps Colonel. I'd already gotten in a lot of trouble in the Marines. And I stood before a Marine Corps colonel, and he said, if you don't straighten up, you'll be in the penitentiary before you're 21 years old. And I was at a crossroads in my life right there. I had a choice of straightening up. taken his advice and my life would have gone a different direction. But what do you think I did? I laughed in his face. And By the time I was 21, I had ridden 2,500 miles in handcuffs and leg irons and waist chains. I'd been locked up in several states. I'd seen murders and rapes and suicides in prisons. I'd came out of that prison a very hard-hearted man. And when I came out of that prison in 1964, I said I had two goals. I'm never going back. And I'm never going to get caught. I had no intentions of living a law-abiding life. I had no intentions of straightening up. I was just going to be more careful.

And I went for almost 19 years before I got caught. And In that 19 years, my life progressed from everything from small petty burglary. really from as small as picking tips up off tables. I always picked up tips. If I had three or four thousand dollars in my pocket and I was walking out of a restaurant and there was two or three dollars laying on the table and nobody was looking, I had now three or four thousand and two dollars in my pocket. I did anything that was illegal. And so I went from petty burglary to international gun smuggling. My partner was going to Columbia, to Bogota, to buy cocaine. And we were sending midnight specials over there. We'd buy pistols on the street for $100. And in South America, a handgun's illegal. and they would bring a thousand dollars. And so we would send ten handguns over there. and turn $1,000 into $10,000. That's pretty serious crime if you get caught for international gun smuggling. But that was the least of my worries because I didn't think I could get caught.

I had moved up to where I wanted power and money and influence, and I had all three of those things. I had enough money to stay in $500 night hotels. I rode in limousines. I bought $20,000 for a one-night party worth of cocaine. So I had the money I'd always wanted. I had enough power to make a phone call and have somebody killed, so I had the power I always wanted. And I had enough influence that when I was arrested, It was September 5th, 1982. And it wasn't a traffic ticket. I'd put 100 stitches in the back of a guy's head with a ball bat. It was a very serious charge, originally attempted murder. And I got booked in the jail. I love to ask this question to jails. I love to ask, guys, how many of you have ever been? locked up on a weekend, and every hand goes up. Every hand goes up. And then I ask this question. What happens when you get arrested on a weekend and everybody yells at the same time? Nothing. because you're not going anywhere on a weekend.

Well, they booked me in the jail at 2 o'clock Sunday afternoon, September 5th, 1982. And I walked out of that jail at 1:30 Monday morning because of the influence I had. When I got arrested, we made our first phone call. called a city council when we were selling cocaine to And said you knew who to call. And the city councilman called the judge that we were selling cocaine to. And I love to ask this question in prison. How many of you know that when you're selling cocaine to a judge he doesn't want you in jail? And so we were out of jail in less than 12 hours on a weekend. I walked out of that jail at 1:30 Monday morning. And when I walked out of that jail, I said, Bill Coram, you've finally arrived. You got money, you got power, and you got influence. but there was something missing in my life. Ooh. I had this money and this power and this influence. The Bible says, What's it gain him? What does it profit a man to gain the whole world and lose his own soul? And that's where I was. I had all this money and power and influence. But I had no peace.

I was looking for peace all the time. I'd been looking for years. I mean, there was a time in my life I looked like a white Mr. T. I wore my shirts unbuttoned down to my belly button with gold chains around my neck and carrying guns. anything to you know look important but i was really looking for peace and i had no peace If I was in a restaurant eating and a cop came in, I'd go pay my bill and get out the door, or I might go in the bathroom and go out the window, depending on what stage of my life I was in. And guess what? The cop wasn't even after me. He didn't even know Bill Corn was in the restaurant. The cop came in there because he was hungry. He just came in there to get something to eat. And after I became a Christian, I was reading in the Bible. And it says a wicked man runs when no one's chasing him. And I went, wow. I left a lot of steak dinner setting at the table. Because the waitress had just set my meal down and a cop walked in and I got up and went and paid my bill and walked out the door.

And after I read that, I was like, I could have ate all them dinners. And you're listening to Bill Coram, and what a line that is: a wicked man. runs when no one's chasing him. And he Oh, he was running. And he was running towards peace. He couldn't find it. He tried power. He tried money. He tried influence. None of them worked. Heck, he made one phone call and got himself out of jail. had the power to kill a person. and would routinely have large parties, large limos, fancy hotel rooms. Something was missing in his life. And boy, the young Bill Corham. And I can just see the scene of him looking at a superior officer in the Marine Corps and just laughing in the guy's face. And all he was trying to do, that officer. was Warnum. that if he kept going down the road he was going, he'd end up in prison.

I love the way this started. I was the enemy of God. for 39 years. When we come back. More of Bill Coram's story from Kansas City Underworld Enforcer. The prison ministry. Here. on our American stories.

My mother was on her knees for her life. Her knees were worn out. There is no one I know of. on my mother's or dad's side of the family. Whoever went to prison or got into trouble like I did, I have to take responsibility for my own actions. No one held a gun in my head. I made choices. I know if there was ever a black sheep in a family, it was me. And I was the blackest of them all. There's one commandment in the Bible that comes with a promise that says if we honor our father and mother, we will have long life. I would not be honoring my parents if I didn't tell you this about them. I have personally never known anyone whose parents loved them like mine. I'm not saying there is no one, I have just not personally met them. Most inmates I have talked to over the years have come from broken homes, and my parents were married 63 years.

Drugs and alcohol have plagued most inmates' homes since their birth. My folks never touched a drop of alcohol in their lives. My mother and father didn't smoke or use any kind of drugs. I never heard a curse word come out of either one of their mouths. The only time in my life I remember my dad saying anything that could be considered cussing was when I was with that 15-year-old girl in the hotel, and he asked me what I'd done to her. I worked by my dad's side building houses and never heard him swear or tell a dirty joke. I did see him walk away when other people told him. My mother died when she was 93 years old, and she had never been in a movie theater or to a dance. They were the most loving, unselfish people I've ever known in my whole life.

I remember mom would put me and my sister to bed at night. And if dad asked for a bowl of ice cream, She would not get him one unless she got Sharon and I up and gave us one. They visited me everywhere I got locked up. When I got locked up in Clarksdale, Mississippi, they drove 550 miles to see me. When I was waiting to go to trial in Oxford, they drove 600 miles to see me. Dad told me years later that sometimes they drove down, visited me, then drove home, bathed, changed clothes, and drove right back. It was a 1,200-mile round trip and they made it many times.

I remember one time they came to see me and asked if I wanted a chocolate malt. I wanted one for sure. but there were 10 or 12 guys in the big cell I was in. Dad asked the jailer if he could bring everyone malts. The jailer gave him the okay. In a few minutes, he returned with the malts for everyone, including the jailer. When my friends and I hopped the freight train and got locked up in Tucum Carrie, New Mexico. My dad made the 1,300-mile round trip to get us out of jail and take us home. When I was sent to Ashland, Kentucky for 60-day observation, they made a 1,400-mile-round trip to see me. I was there with guys who'd been locked up for years and their families only lived an hour or two away, and they never got a visit.

They visited me in San Diego when I was in boot camp. which was sixteen hundred miles one way. When I was in the brig in Millington, Tennessee, they drove over five hundred miles to see me. Englewood, Colorado, is another place they drove six hundred miles to see me. I figured it up once. My dad drove over twenty five thousand miles in one year visiting me. The average molly on a car back then was ten thousand miles a year. If I came in at eleven o'clock at night with a couple of buddies, my mom would get out of bed, ask if we were hungry. all the all one of them had to do was nod his head, and she whipped up a five course meal. She loved to cook for me and loved to watch me eat.

I think she tried to kill every friend I brought around with food. There was no one who could cook like my mother. She didn't use recipes and everyone in our family has tried to copy her cooking since she's been gone, but no one's mastered it. Are you starting to get the picture of how much my parents love me? No matter what I did, they loved me. And my sister and I came first, and they were second. They did everything possible to help me, and still I was a rebel. If there was ever a human on this earth who should have excelled and never been in trouble, it was me. I had their blessing. From the time I was born until they died. And see, when I wrote this, I didn't know I was speaking. to die. before I was even born.

If they did all that for me when I was rebellious, how much more would they have done for me if I had not been rebellious? I don't believe they would have done any more because their love was not conditional. Mom used to have dreams about me. She wore her knees out praying for me. She told me so many answers. To the prayers she prayed for me, I could fill another book. When Debbie started praying for me, mom encouraged her, and they prayed together. My saintly mother prayed for almost 40 years for me to surrender to Jesus. She prayed many times, not my will, but. Thy will be done.

My dad gave me godly advice all my life. He tried everything he knew to point me in the right direction. Although I didn't listen to him at the time. Thankfully, he saw me walk out of the darkness and into the light before he died in 1991. We got to spend eight years together on the same page. Mom got to enjoy seeing me love God and love my dad those last eight years of his life. Mom died in 1999, but she spent the last 16 years of her life praising the Lord for his answer. To her prayers. for my salvation. We had many good times together. Mom and her best friend in life dad are together again in heaven. I look forward to the day I join them.

No wonder I hated and cussed that psychiatrist at Ashland when he told me that it was my mom and dad's fault that I turned into a criminal. So you know, I was doing $500 worth of cocaine a day. I was drinking two quarts of whiskey a day. I was kissing my wife goodbye and say, I'll see you tonight. And I'd come over weeks. My kids had call, come over and say, Where's dad? Debbie say, I haven't seen your dad in weeks. I was doing every kind of illegal drug there was. I mean, I would have took a birth control pill if I thought I could get uh high on it. There was nothing I wouldn't do and I did it in massive amounts. If everybody else was doing three of them, I wanted to do six. I want to do more than anybody.

Getting implicated as one of the leading cocaine dealers in Kansas City, Missouri, I had a lot of money. Being an enforcer for the Kansas City underworld, I was out there doing enforcement, doing contract work, doing some serious, serious stuff. I wasn't thinking about my kids. I was thinking about what I was doing. For the For the family out there. And that's all I cared about was my job I was doing, making sure I did it right. Didn't care about anybody except me. I carried a flame thrower on my back and was always lit. I'd burn up every bridge I went over. Because I wasn't going back. I had no reason to go back. I was only going forward. My motto is if you're not living on the edge, you're taking up too much space. And I was out there going, going, going. My wife says I was going 200 miles an hour in the world just doing cocaine and. drinking and People go, Well, you couldn't drink two quarts of whiskey. And I said, You never did cocaine, did you? Because when you're doing cocaine, you could drink 10 quarts of whiskey. You can't get drunk when you're doing cocaine. That's why people die of speed balls. They do heroin and cocaine together. Because your heart's beating so fast.

Like I used to go home when I'd been gone for three, four weeks at a time. There was a 7-Eleven not far from our house. Remember where that 7-Eleven used to be up there on Raytown Road? And we lived at 6224 Willow. And I'd be gone three weeks. And I decide to go home. And I didn't have nothing. I didn't have any downers or no pills. I'd pull in that 7-Eleven, I'd buy four or five bottles of NyQuil. And I'd start driving toward the house. because I was trying to slow my heart down so she wouldn't hear it. because I thought it was going to jump out of my chest. That's why I had two heart attacks from doing cocaine, because your heart's getting goat so fast. And that's why people mix it with heroin. And they do, that's what John Bellusci died of, with speedballs. Heroin and cocaine mixed. And you're listening to Bill Caram talk about his life on the edge. and that unlike so many people he shared prison space with, He was not the product of a broken home.

When we come back. More of Bill Coram's story. Here. on our American stories.

Well, I was still moving a lot of drugs, even though I'd gotten busted. I was charged with first degree assault with intent to kill, which carried 15 to life in Missouri. And we also were charged with first degree burglary, which carried like five to 20 or something. So really, I was facing a minimum of 20 years and a maximum of life. And then I got implicated as being one of the leading cocaine dealers in the city, which just added to the problems. I was staying away from home because they were watching us by that time. After a guy gave a 20-page statement to the Missouri Narcotics Division, which was like a book. And he named everybody in there that we were dealing with, including the judge that we got out of jail with. All of the people that we knew and were associated with were starting to fall like flies. I mean, they were starting to drop. And they were getting arrested. They were getting killed. They were getting...

Every time I'd come to Kansas City and go back down there, like when I was going across. Seven Highway. It was down toward the lake. And every time I'd go down that seven highway, and back then it was single lane, a lot of it. I would drive that car as fast as it'd go. If I was in a car that'd go 140, I'd go 140. If I was in a car that would go 110, I'd go 110. And it was almost like I wanted to die. There was a real war going on. I mean, the more I think about it, I should really write it all down someday, hadn't I? But anyway, this one particular night. I went upstairs to go to bed. And I was going up the stairs and I was looking at the wall. Paint on the wall was coming off and the handrail was all chipped and And I thought, this whole house looks like I feel. 'Cause I even though I was only not quite forty I had a lot of miles on me. Like I said, I've I've been locked up in 10 states. I've ridden 2,500 miles in handcuffs, leg underwish. I've been in car wrecks and motorcycle wrecks and Just a lot of stuff that I shouldn't have made it through. Crazy, crazy stuff.

And You know, I got implicated, or not implicated, I got nicknamed Crazy Bill because of some of the stupid stuff I did, just completely off the chain. And um I just was going up that stairway and I was tired. I was so tired. And I got in bed and I turned on the rock and roll and I was laying there and the radio. You know how like some radios you when you're they don't have good connection and you're trying to tune them in and they're And then you hear a little music. Right there. And I turn it, and I finally got it on a rock and roll station. I was laying there. And then it went. And I heard a preacher going, No matter what you've done, God loves you, He's got a plan for your life. And I went, I don't want to hear that. Back to the rock and roll. And I lay back down. Jesus will forgive you no matter what you've done. He loves you. And I went. And it just kept happening. It kept going back to this guy preaching. And then God gave me like a vision, I mean, almost a vision, I guess. I never had a vision, I don't think, but maybe that time. But I remember seeing, I don't think it was a dream, I think I was wide awake. But I saw wrecks I'd had Like I flipped a van one time, six times end over end. after went end over end six times, Then I rolled it down a hill. It ended up in a like a creek. Every piece of metal was twisted and mangled. Three of the wheels and tires got ripped off. Looked like a train hit it. I took my mother to see that van. She started crying. And she says, Son, don't you see God has his hand on you? And I looked at her and I said, Mom, God had nothing to do with that. I'm a good driver. Um And that's how worked my mind was.

I didn't have a seatbelt on. I broke the steering wheel in half. And I bent the brake pedal on a 45-degree angle, pushing. I pulled my hamstring real bad because I knew if I let go. I was going out. So I stayed in there. I held on. And so I'm like God didn't do that. I did that. I mean, look how big and strong because I used to be real big and strong. I'm a good driver, I didn't let go. Okay. My nickname was Superman. I thought I was Superman. So that night the Lord showed me in some of those wrecks and some of those crashes and some of the things that I'd done and that It wasn't me. It was his love. And that's the night I said, God, if you're real and you can change Bill Cornel, I'll live my life for you. And I went to sleep and slept peacefully, which I never did usually.

Woke up the next morning, called her, and said, You want to come and get me? And I left my guns down there and didn't think about that. Went home, slept for a week. I get a phone call one day. She's at work. I answer the phone. And all I heard was you can't walk out on us. Click. And I knew what it meant. And I had this terrible fear. I didn't have a Bible yet, but her Bible was laying there, and I picked it up. And I opened it up and it said, If a man's ways please God, he makes even his enemies to be at peace with him. That's the only thing I could see. If a man's ways please God, he makes even his enemies to be at peace with him. And I said, God. I want my ways to please you. Because I knew I had some enemies after I got that phone call. I knew that. I knew that, so then I fell asleep.

I had her Bible and I sat down and reclined and I laid back and I had her Bible right here. on my chest and I had a dream of her I heard the doorbell. I saw her walk across the floor. Open the door. and I saw the barrel of the gun and the fire and saw her fall to the floor dead. And I just woke up in total fear and I'm like, oh my god, they're going to kill Debbie. They're not going to kill me, they're going to kill her. They're going to kill my family. And Again, her Bible was right here, so I just opened it up. and the only words I could see Said, no weapon formed against you shall prosper. And then I flipped it. Just went like this. And the only words I could see said, The Lord is my light and my salvation. Whom shall I fear? Of whom shall I be afraid? And I was like... Wow, this book is true. And then I began to read, and then it said, if you don't do what it says, you deceive your own self. And see, I was the worst deceiver on the planet. I wanted to deceive everybody. I lied to everybody. When I was married to my first wife, I had three girlfriends at the same time. None of them knew I had other girlfriends. She didn't know I had any girlfriends. I was cheating on all four of them. And I loved it.

I had an old lady tell me one time when I had my office up here at that Baptist church, that old woman said, you know, she was about 95, I was probably 55. She goes, you know son, if you never tell a lie, you don't have to remember what you said. And I thought. Wow, now that's some wisdom there. In nineteen eighty seven, I went to Africa. with some men from our church. And that was a miracle too because I was on paper. I was on parole. And when I went and asked my parole officer, could I go to Africa? He laughed at me. He said, Bill, you can't even go across the state line. I'm not going to let you leave the country. And I said, well, I didn't figure you would, but I just wanted to ask. And I was getting ready to walk out of his office and he said, Hey, Bill. Tell you what, I'll do. If you'll write a letter to the judge who sentenced you, and that judge will give you permission to even apply for a passport. I'll let you go to Africa. I did. I sent the letter, the passport application, the money, and I went to Africa.

So I'm in Africa. I'm walking along a trail with 10 men from the church. and I almost stepped on a grasshopper. And I picked it up and just kind of threw it to the side and out of the side of my eye I saw it land in a little puddle of water. And I said, hey guys, hold up, wait up. So they all stopped, and I ran over in the grass. I got the grasshopper out of the water, put him in the grass. And I ran and caught up with them and they said, Bill, what were you doing back there? And I said I didn't want that grasshopper to drown. And then I started crying. And they said, why are you crying? And I said, because four years ago I would kill a man for money, and today I don't want a bug to die. And I knew right then that God had taken my heart of stone and given me a heart of flesh. And I wrote a little track called Heart of Stone. And I would sing this. over and over and over if I had the opportunity. I'll just tell you what it says.

I can't sing it because I tell guys in prison: if I sing, you'll sign up for death row. Because my voice is terrible. I've got a face for radio and a voice for the dog pound. I can't sing. I wish I could sing because I'd love to sing this song. The song says this, It's my desire to live for Jesus. It's my desire to live for him. If you could see where Jesus brought me from to where I am today. you would know the reason why I love him so. If you could see where Jesus brought me from to where I am today. then you would know the reason why I love him so. That's my story. And a special thanks to Bill Coram for sharing his raw story. And man, it's rough. And that story about the grasshopper, we're just crying in our studio. The story of Bill Coram. A beautiful fate story. In the end, a story about God is story about Jesus Christ. Here. on our American stories.