Making Money an Asset to Marriage

Money is just one kind of asset in the world of finance, but can it also be an asset in marriage? Hi, I'm Rob West. Money is usually cited as one of the top reasons for divorce.

It's almost never seen as a way to actually strengthen a marriage. Dr. Gary Chapman joins us today to talk about how you can make that happen. Minutes on to your calls at 800-525-7000.

That's 800-525-7000. This is Faith and Finance Live, biblical wisdom for your financial journey. Well, we're delighted to have Dr. Gary Chapman with us today. He's a pastor, speaker, counselor, and author of many books on Christian relationships, including the Love Languages book that you're probably very familiar with. Dr. Chapman, great to have you with us. Well, thank you, Rob. It's great to be with you. As I shared with you before our broadcast here today, Dr. Chapman, my wife, Julie, and I are actually working through right now a couple's guide to a growing marriage. It's been really meaningful to us in our own marriage. But when I got to the chapter on money in marriage, I immediately thought, wow, we got to share this on the program.

So I'm delighted you're here today to talk about this. It's, of course, a really important topic, as you well know, as a counselor and a pastor. But one thing we want to make clear from the beginning is we're not talking about how having more money will make your marital relationship better, are we? Absolutely not. You know, some of the happiest people and strongest marriages I know are folks who are just making enough money to pay the bills and keep everybody fed and clothed.

Yes, that's exactly right. And some of the people struggle the most are those who have lots and lots of money. So now money doesn't make or break a marriage.

Yeah, that's so true. Dr. Chapman, we bring to the marriage different money backgrounds, different personalities, different wiring. How does that affect our relationships? Well, I think a lot of it does have to do with the families in which we grew up in and what we observed or what we were taught, you know, by our parents. For example, I was taught by my parents, and this was a long time ago, when I got a fifty cents a week allowance, that five cents of it went to God. Well, I came to my marriage with that concept, you know. Fortunately, my wife grew up in a family that also taught tithing, so we didn't have any struggles over that. Of course, we didn't have much money in those early days, but I do think a lot of it has to do with, you know, how we grew up and the families we grew up in. Yeah, we're also wired so differently, aren't we? I mean, some of us hold money tightly, others more loosely. Invariably, God brings together a spender with a saver, and we've got to bring that into the equation too, don't we? That's right. We have to accept the reality that we have different personalities in many areas, and certainly it is when it comes to money, because I think, you know, the common struggle that many couples have is, well, you know, why did you buy that?

That was too much, or you could get it cheaper over here, or what? All those kind of arguments. Just simply because we're human, and we have different thoughts and different feelings related to money, as with the rest of life.

Yeah, that's exactly right. So then, what is required, Dr. Chapman, to get both spouses on the same page financially, so that money actually becomes an asset to the marriage? I think communication. Communication.

Communication. We've got to talk about this part of our marriage, and I know some folks have stopped talking, because when they try to talk, they end up arguing, but I think we have to learn how to listen to each other and try to be empathetic. That is, try to put ourselves in their shoes and try to see the world from their eyes, because this is typically not a right or wrong, you know, total issue. It's more what we're talked about, personality differences. So I think if we learn to listen to the other person, respect them as a human, and realize, okay, we're going to feel differently, but let me hear, let me hear what your perspective is.

What would be the best way for us to handle this from your perspective? And then I share mine, and you listen to me. And if we do disagree, then we ask, okay, what might we try that we could both agree on? You know, because we're on the same team. We're not enemies.

That's exactly right. And I suspect that communication can't just begin the day we get married. It should probably start before we get married, huh? I really encourage couples before they get married to discuss the whole issue of money.

Did you grow up a tither? Do you think we ought to give 10% of our money to God as a starting place? How much money you think we ought to save? Yeah, I think we need to do that before we get married, ideally. Absolutely. Well, we're talking about money as an asset to marriage today with Dr. Gary Chapman.

It's a real treat. This is just one chapter in his book, A Couple's Guide to a Growing Marriage. When we come back, we'll look at some key responsibilities in your marriage related to money, and we'll continue to unpack this. Back with more with Dr. Gary Chapman just after the break. Following this interview, your questions today at 800-525-7000. Stay with us. We'll be right back. Delighted to have you with us today on Faith and Finance Live.

I'm Rob West. Joining me today, Dr. Gary Chapman, among other books. He's the author of A Couple's Guide to a Growing Marriage. We're talking today about one chapter in that book on making money an asset to marriage. That's right, money can often drive conflict in a marriage.

We want to flip the script and see if we can make it an asset in your marriage. Before the break, Dr. Chapman was talking about our differences in personality and really the key being communication. We want to talk, though, about some of the financial responsibilities.

And Dr. Chapman, you unpack three of them in the book. I'd love for you to start with that first responsibility. I think the first is to honor God with what we've done. This is true in all of life, but I think it's also true in money. And the Bible's pretty clear about that, you know, that in the Old Testament, of course, God laid down ten percent Israel to tithe of their possessions and all of that. And Jesus affirmed that in the New Testament. So that's a starting place, in my opinion, for Christians is to just say, we're going to give ten percent of whatever, you know, God brings our way back to God. And, you know, many times I give primarily that through the church, you know, and you can also give to other Christian organizations, to be sure.

But I think that's the first thing. If you put God first in your life, then when it comes to money, you should be thinking in terms of, okay, what does God want of us first of all in our relationship? We can, of course, have differences of opinion on a whole host of things. Giving is one of those. And again, going back to our earlier conversation, a lot of this could be informed by how money was modeled or handled growing up. How do you reconcile those differences of opinion, Dr. Chapman, about giving? I think we have to respect each other's ideas and say, okay, so you prefer that we give our money to, and you name a Christian organization, rather than giving it through the church.

Okay. And the reason for that very likely is that they grew up in a family that supported that other organization. And so, consequently, they have friends in that organization, people they know. So I think if we understand why we want to give in a certain way or to certain organizations, then we have to hear that out and respect the other person's perspective. And if we differ on that, then maybe we decide, okay, we'll give part of it here and part of it here. So the important thing is to work toward unity, because the scripture pattern is the Bible. We're not opposing each other. We're on the same team. So let's get our plan together and how we're going to give.

Yeah. Dr. Chapman, we hear from folks periodically that one spouse has come to Christ after marriage. The other is not yet a believer.

They're having trouble reconciling that. How would you counsel that believing spouse to handle the giving conversation with an unbelieving spouse that doesn't want to give? I think essentially what we can do is simply share our heart as to why, you know, this is true, and that you do have this relationship with God. And you recognize that really, he gives us breath every single day.

We're here because of the love of God and the gift of God. And therefore, I just want to honor God in this way. And some, many times, I think a non-Christian would be willing to accept that, even though, you know, maybe they don't even believe in God, but they honor your respect, you know, your belief in God.

And we can't make the other person agree with us. And I certainly wouldn't steal money to give to God. God's not that hard up, you know. I think if they're not willing, then I think my feeling is, you say, okay, then we won't do that. But I want you to know that I'm going to be praying that God will help us get together on this, because this is really, really important to me. I think when they see that kind of spirit, rather than a fighting spirit, they're far more likely to come around to giving. That's good.

So helpful. Let's move on to the second financial responsibility. I know it has to do with family and even lifestyle. What would you have us to know here? You know, I've always found that verse interesting. In 1 Timothy chapter 5 and verse 8, it says, If anyone does not provide for his own relatives, his own family, especially his immediate family, he has denied the faith, and he is worse than an unbeliever. Yeah. Wow.

He's not mincing words. It's pretty clear, you know, God's big on providing for our families. And, you know, cultures are different, of course. There was a day years and years ago when the husband was the one that made the money, you know, and brought it home and provided for his family. Today, of course, you know, many, many, many wives are working full time outside the home, which is fine, you know. But I do think we have a responsibility. And the emphasis is on if a man is not willing to work. Now, obviously, a person has to be able to get a job, you know, and sometimes that's difficult in certain places. But a person who just chooses not to work and invest his time and pleasure are worse than that.

He's off on drugs or alcohol, and therefore, you know, can't. It says he's worse than an unbeliever. So he's speaking to Christians. So we demonstrate our love for God by providing for our families. And I think that's pretty clear in the scriptures.

Yeah. How do we find the balance, though? What about that couple that's searching for the appropriate lifestyle to maintain as believers? Well, you know, and that's often the case, because we have different ideas of what a normal lifestyle ought to be like. And again, I think we have to share our perspectives. You know, one spouse may have been brought up going every other week to the beach or, you know, some other place with their family doing things. That's what they feel like doing. But maybe we can't afford that, you know.

Your parents could, but you can't afford that right now. But I think to say, well, honey, you know, we can't do it now, and we can't do it that often. But let's do it, how about this, you know, once a month or whatever. And I think if we, again, respect each other's ideas, we're far more likely to find a meeting place. The problem comes when we take the attitude, I know I'm right on this, and we're going to do it my way, you know. And you just decide that you're just destroying what you want to have in a marriage. And that is a loving, supportive, caring relationship. So I think we have to be open to share and try to find a meeting place. And sometimes that meeting place is in between the two ideas that the two of you had. Sometimes one of you will go to the other side after you hear their perspective, you'll think, okay, I think we can do that. It's not what I particularly would like, but I think we can do that. So it's a matter of seeking unity. And that only comes through open communication.

Yeah, that's exactly right. Well, the third financial responsibility has to do with saving for the future. One of the exercises you have couples do in the book is to write down in percentages how much of their income they would like to save, spend and give. Do you find that spouses are often surprised by each other's answers?

Yeah, I think they are, you know, I sometimes make the poem when I'm doing premarital counseling. I said, there's only three things you can do with money. We're talking about them. You know, one is you can give it away. One is you can save it. One of them is you can spend it.

So what would be a good place to start? I sometimes suggest this to young couples who don't have a whole lot of money. I say, what if you give 10% to God and save 10% and then live on the 80%? And I just throw it out as a possibility of something they might want to consider, because many of them have not yet considered it until they do something like this in a book. I wrote a book called Things I Wish I'd Known Before We Got Married. And one of them is I wish I'd known that we had talked about finances before we got married. Because if a couple can go into marriage, having agreed, you know, on the amount they're going to give and amount they're going to save, then they can order their lifestyle in keeping with that 80%.

So they don't think in terms of everything we have, but 80%. Oh, that's so good. Well, Dr. Chapman, we've just scratched the surface. We're going to have to have you back sometime. But thanks for stopping by today. Well, thank you. Great to be with you today. That's Dr. Gary Chapman, the author of A Couple's Guide to a Growing Marriage.

You can pick it up wherever you buy books. We're back with your calls just around the corner. Call right now, 800-525-7000. We'll be right back on Faith and Finance Live. The opinions offered during this program represent the personal or professional opinions of the participants given for informational purposes only.

Any information provided is not intended to replace advice from a financial, medical, legal, or other professional who understands your specific situation. Great to have you with us today on Faith and Finance Live. I'm Rob West. What a joy to have Dr. Gary Chapman with us today. I'll tell you such wisdom as we think about how we can make money an asset in marriage. It is possible when we seek unity. I love what Dr. Chapman said over and over again about communication, about really having respect at the core of our communication when we communicate with our spouses.

Even though we have differences, different backgrounds and personalities, if we come to the table knowing we're on the same team and although we may share different ideas, the goal is oneness, the goal is respect, we can move forward together and find common ground, including in this area of money and money management. Well, we'll have to have him back sometime real soon. And just around the corner, we're going to be taking your calls and questions today. We've got lines open.

The number 800-525-7000. But here at year end, this is an important time for us to hear from you with your support. As a listener supported ministry, we rely on your giving to do what we do every day. And the reality is we're excited to invite you to support us because we know that God is working through this ministry.

In fact, let's listen to one of those stories of a changed life. My son's about 40 years old right now. He's serving God, going to become a foster parent. He's given his life as a young child to God.

I had an opportunity when he was about four years old to teach him the principle of tithing. And so I took 10 little squares of paper. I laid them there on the floor and he got down beside me and I said, Anthony, I said, I want you to look at something.

God's given you 10 squares. I said, you know what? He asked from you. And he looks at me, he says, what, what's he want, Ed? I said, he wants one little square.

Would you be willing to give that to God? And he said, oh, I'd like to give it to God. And he reached over and he pushed it over separate from the others.

There was nine and one. He said, Dad, can I give him another one? I said, you can. I said, that would be called an offering. He said, whoa, I'd like to give him two. I said, Anthony, you could give him two. And that's a good offering. He said, Dad, can I just give them all to God?

And I said, Anthony, that is what he's wanting from us. But that's what God does. And that's what your ministry is all about.

I know that. Incredible. I love it. You know, when we get invited into your stories every day and we can encourage you and you can encourage us.

That's what it's all about. Wise and faithful stewardship. Listen, folks, here at the end of the year, between now and December 31st, if you'd like to support Faith and Finance Live with a gift of any amount, we'd be grateful and it would go a long way to helping us finish the year strong and prepare for another year of ministry in 2024. You can make a gift today at faithfi.com. That's faithfi.com. Just click give at the top of the page. A gift of any amount would be an incredible blessing.

Thanks in advance. All right, we're going to begin to take your calls today. We do have some lines open. We'd love to hear from you with any financial question at 800-525-7000. You can call right now.

Let's go to Indiana. Hi, Marsha. Thanks for calling. Go ahead.

Hi, thanks for taking my call. I was just wondering, like, if you only had, like, smaller amounts to invest, like, less than $10,000. I know CDs are good right now.

Are there places that you can invest smaller amounts that would have a better return than a savings account? Yeah, you know, it always comes down, Marsha, to risk and reward. How much risk are you willing to take and what is your expected return? And a lot of that, we start with the time horizon. So it's really driven by, do I have, you know, an immediate need for this money or possible immediate need? Is it money I can be away from for 12 months? Do I have five or 10 years before I'd need the money?

And then we can really match the time horizon with the appropriate risk level and then come up with a desired return. So tell me a little bit about this money in terms of, is it money you need ready access to? Maybe what I would call your emergency fund or is it really for the longer term? No, it's, no, I have other money.

It's, so it's long, it would be like long term. Okay, great. And then the second question is, despite the fact that it's long term, are you willing to take a risk with it?

Are you wanting to try to grow it beyond what you might be able to get in a guaranteed product like a CD or a savings account that has, you know, the backing of the US government? Yes. Okay.

Yeah. So in that case, you know, typically what we default to, if we want to try to get a little better return than we could get in a CD or a money market or a savings account, we start to think usually about stocks and bonds. And basically what that means is we become an owner of a company and we, you know, do that with proper diversification, which is typically with a smaller amount of money through a mutual fund, which is nothing more than a basket of stocks. And a stock is just a fractional ownership in a company that's trying to create value for its shareholders. So it could be any number of companies in any number of sectors, either here in the United States or abroad. I think the next question that if we're looking at mutual funds is to say, do we want to just buy an index, which is basically just capturing the broad moves of the stock market, or do we want to try to outperform the market and or do we want to try to only buy companies that align with our values? Because there's a growing segment of the investment landscape, Marcia, that are called faith-based investments, where they're very intentional about avoiding certain companies that might be misaligned with your values as a believer, or they might be seeking companies that are not only creating value for shareholders, but promoting the common good and creating human flourishing.

Would you be more interested in a faith-based investing type of product or would you like to buy just more of an index? You would. Okay. Yeah.

So that's it. Go ahead. Yeah.

I don't mean to interrupt. I had money invested and was able to pay cash for a home. And not that I had lots and lots of money, but once I withdrew the money for the home, because I'm older, so we're buying that home now, I don't have to pay like rent or anything. Yeah. Okay. And so the money you have left over, you're wanting to put to work for you, right? Yes.

And they told me I had to take it out, that they couldn't keep that small amount of money. I see. Okay. Let's do this. I've got to take a quick break, but we'll talk a bit off the air and see if we can get you pointed in the right direction. We'll be right back. Great to have you with us today on Faith and Finance Live here on Mooney Radio.

I'm Rob West. We're taking your calls and questions today. 800-525-7000. That's 800-525-7000. You can call right now. Let's head back to the phones to Nashville, Tennessee. Hi, Laurie.

How can I help? Hi, Laurie. Hi, Rob.

I'd like to take my call. I have about 50 bonds that I collected through payroll deduction and from about 2000 timeframe, and I've been retired about 2015, but I've had a quantity of 50. Most of them are $200 value, double E's, and I have a couple that are 50, a couple that are 100. So should I redeem those? And I do not have a beneficiary on them. Okay.

Yeah, you should. But I think redeeming them does make some sense. They're not earning a whole lot. The double E's that were issued between 1997 and 2005 are paying about 3.79 percent. That's the current annual interest rate. And then those that were issued after that point after 2005 are down at around 2.7. And the reality is you can obviously do better than that. I mean, you could get a CD today for a year at maybe five and a half. You could find a high yield savings account at 4.6. So you've had these for a while and you can redeem them anytime after a year. Obviously, the longer you hold them, the more it earns. But the reality is you could do better elsewhere. And so the key is I think you could go to treasurydirect.gov and all the details would be there, not only the value of the bonds that you have, but the redemption process just so you know how you'd go about redeeming those. But then you'd want to decide, obviously, how you're going to redeploy that money, whether you just put it in savings and take advantage of these high interest rates, whether you want to put it into a maybe some CDs as a next step or something else. Does that make sense?

It does. But I was kind of concerned that I do not have a beneficiary. My husband was on it, but he is passed. So it's just my name. And that's why I'm kind of concerned about that by going ahead and redeeming them. Well, as long as you redeem them, then you don't need the beneficiary. You could add the beneficiary first. But if you're going to go ahead and redeem them, then the beneficiary is not there. You as the owner of these are going to be the ones to receive them.

The beneficiary only comes into play if you were to pass away. Right. Right. And that could happen any day. We don't know how long we've got.

But that's true. I was wondering about the from the tax standpoint, will the U.S. Treasury send me the whatever paperwork is necessary to reflect what I gathered? Yes, ma'am.

You will get the tax documents and then you'll just pass those along to your CPA. OK, great. Thank you so much. You have a great day. You're welcome, Laurie. Thanks for your call today. We appreciate it.

We're going to stay right here in Nashville. Hi, Kelly. How can I help you, sir? Hey, Rob, appreciate you taking my call. I wanted to just ask you, I call you every year and kind of stay up to date on on what I should be doing. I'm 60 years old and I'm going to be retiring hopefully at 65. And I paid my cars off and I've started for the past year paying extra on the house, actually, to where it would be paid off when I turned 65.

I averaged that out. And I just wanted to ask you, as I approach that now that I've got about four and a half years before I get there, what are some priorities that I need to be thinking about to be prepared? Yeah, I would say a few things. Number one is you may want to look at long term care insurance. You know, between 55 and 60 is a great time to buy long term care insurance. You need to make sure that it's going to fit into your budget both now and in the future and that you could absorb premium hikes down the road. But if there's something that's going to erode your assets in this season of life, you know, 65 plus, it's most often going to be long term care. So you can explore that. The second option would be to look at, well, you've said you you're on track to pay off your house.

That's great. I think you need to put together your retirement budget to make sure that you know what your expenses are going to be in retirement and match that up with the various income sources that you have. And then in this season of life, you know, really at any season we need to do this. But certainly now you need to just make sure your estate is in order, that your will is up to date, that you have a health care surrogate. That you've got probably a durable power of attorney if you're incapacitated.

Somebody who can make financial and legal decisions for you. That you have a living will that says how you'd like end of life decisions handled. And then obviously all of your beneficiaries are up to date and the next steward or stewards of whatever God has entrusted to you are not only chosen but prepared and they're ready to handle whatever you might leave behind. And you know, I think those are the key things. Then of course, really, I think I would begin praying and thinking about what God has for you in this next season of life. You know, we know his calling doesn't have an expiration date, so maybe you take a season of sabbatical rest, but then I think you should be looking toward what you're retiring to and not what you're retiring from.

And really think about how you can be used by the Lord in this next season of life. So those would be the maybe the first few things that come to mind. Is that helpful? That is very helpful.

Let me ask you real quick. In terms of savings, you know, having an emergency fund and am in the black every month, thank God that continues. Is it good to put those in a kind of a high-deal savings account? Or I did the CD and yeah, you know, it yields about five percent. But then there's also the option of like money market and stuff like that.

Is that a big deal or does that not really matter? Yeah, I think a high-yield savings account is fine for your emergency fund. So especially with the rates where they are right now, that would be perfectly suitable as far as I'm concerned. Okay, and that's what about a little over four percent usually is pretty good? Yeah, you should be able to get about 4.5 right now. You could go to bankrate.com and find out who has the very best rates.

In fact, I saw one earlier today at over five percent. So there are options out there if you're willing to use an online bank. Okay, Rob, God bless you. Thank you for everything you do and carry on my friend. Well, thank you, Kelly. I appreciate it. Hey, I want to send you a gift. There's a great book out by my friend Jeff Hainan.

He wrote The Uncommon Guide to Retirement, Finding God's Purpose for the Next Season of Life. I think it'll be a real blessing to you. You stay on the line. We're going to get your information and send that as our gift to you. I hope you enjoy it. Thanks for your call, Kelly.

Let's go to Spokane. Robert, go ahead, sir. Hi, can you hear me okay? I sure can.

Okay, great. I'm calling because my wife received an inheritance and she's a godly woman and I love her dearly. She was telling me that I have no say in how she spends the inheritance and so I was just wondering how does that work in a marriage when it comes to, say, in spending an inheritance that the spouse receives? Yeah, it's a great question, Robert. You know, we had Dr. Gary Chapman on earlier today and I love what he said just about God's goal and design for marriage to be oneness, to be unity, you know, to become one flesh in marriage, which means it's really the merging of everything, including our finances that, you know, it's not the income that I earn and the income that she earns.

It's the income that God has graciously given to us as a married couple and I think that only that includes not only wages and gifts but it also includes inheritances and so I would say the biblical model for that is really to see whatever comes into the household as a gracious gift from God that the couple is then to steward together based on their values and priorities, recognizing they're different people and they may have different ideas but we come together in love and try to find common ground and pursue God's plan for our marriage and our family in unity and I think that needs to include inheritance. Now, obviously she has a different feeling on that so I think taking a cue from what he shared earlier today, you would approach that conversation with love and respect, not any kind of belittling or telling her she's wrong but just saying, I would appreciate it if you'd hear me out and my perspective that really whatever we received again is a gracious gift from God and I'd love for us to pray and think about how we use this together. I think that's ultimately the right approach. I've got to take a break. Let's talk some more off the air. We'll be right back. Great to have you with us today on Faith & Finance Live. By the way, we do have a few lines open here in our final segment. If you'd like to call with a question today on anything financial, feel free to do so, 800-525-7000.

That's 800-525-7000. Before the break, we were talking to Robert in Spokane. His wife has received an inheritance and she's made it clear that she'd like to be the one solely to determine how it's spent. She doesn't want this to be a part of what she and her husband Robert are making decisions on together and he's just wondering how to approach that and I was sharing before the break, you know, as we had Dr. Gary Chapman on today and he made it clear and I think what really stood out to me in that interview is this idea of oneness being the goal in marriage and that we approach conversations around money first of all with a mutual respect, with the desire to understand we're both on the same team, with the goal of finding common ground, but also a give and take. And let me ask you, Robert, what do you think is driving this conversation? Is it perhaps that the source of the funds has something to do with how she wants to spend it? Is that she just feels like she'd like to be independent and be able to make her own decision?

What do you think is behind this? Oh, thanks, Rob. I think it's partially because there's some remodeling involved and I think she enjoys the, shall we call it, a hobby for remodeling part of it and so we went to a weekend to remember in Coeur d'Alene recently and the conversation with love and respect was beautiful. I highly recommend the weekend to remember to any couple and so we've been blessed by it.

Yeah. Does she feel like she's not been able to do some remodeling in the past that she's wanted to and she feels like this is her opportunity or why do you feel like that this is being tied to that project? I've given her free rein as far as the remodeling. There were some concerns in the past about spending more than would be ideal and so I think that maybe she took that as a restriction and so I just felt that with the love and respect circle that I just needed to give her both love and respect and just, you know, keep the ball moving.

Yeah, yeah, very good. Well, I mean, I think you're taking the right approach on this. I think at the end of the day we have to recognize we don't own anything so this is not her money or your money, this is the Lord's money. Now, you all have been entrusted as stewards of this from the day you were married forward everything that God entrusts to you is as a married couple and so now you have to make decisions and be God's money manager and that's one of the ways as we wrestle through those decisions that we grow in our faith because we ultimately have to trust him and rely on him and it doesn't mean it's going to be easy and there's a reason that money is the source of conflict for most married couples but I feel like if you go into this prayed up if you go into this saying listen you know just with anything we've received throughout our lives including this I'd like for us to be on the same page I want to hear your perspective and I want us to find a path forward together that we feel like reflects our values and priorities as believers and as a married couple and if part of that includes doing some more renovations great and if part of that is accomplishing maybe a goal that you have which is to pay down debt or shore up your savings that's great too but I think if you come with a spirit of love and respect and with a lot of prayer hopefully you can find some common ground here as you move forward but I would say at the end of the day the right approach is to say whatever comes in to our family to us as a couple is ours because we're one flesh it all belongs to God and so we're charged with being found faithful and there's that opportunity then to work together as a married couple to find God's heart no matter what it is inheritance wages a gift you name it so we'll pray that God gives you some some wisdom as you navigate that conversation it sounds like you're ready for it to do it in the right spirit and I hope that you guys can find the path forward here we appreciate your call today sir God bless you let's go to Grand Rapids hi Mary how can I help hi Rob thanks for taking my call sure I am hoping to retire next spring I'm going to be 63 next week I'm trying just to get your opinion we're we're debt-free we have decent cars houses paid off we have about five hundred thousand dollars in retirement accounts we've been able to save about seventy five thousand dollars just that are in savings accounts that are liquid my husband has another probably 30 or 40 coming in from commissions and there could be a little bit of inheritance money coming in in the near future as well just wondering what your thoughts are if I wanted to retire like next May we would be able to live on some cash take some money out of our plans until we get to 67 and then take social security at that time what are your thoughts on that yeah I mean it sounds like you all done some great planning and you're certainly well on your way to having all of your ducks in a row here what would be your monthly need in total have you done that retirement budget to look at you know where some savings might occur now that you're not commuting to work or you know you may no longer be eating out during the day you know every day if that was your normal routine I mean a lot of times folks will live on 70 to 80 percent of their pre-retirement income but what do you feel like your monthly need will be at that point well we've kind of done a rough sketch of that just kind of looking at what's going out and I think you know our if we kept our expenses around I don't know 3,500 to 4,000 okay all right so let's say it's 4,000 a month and then where would that come from did you say your husband will continue to do some part-time work beyond your retirement is that the plan well that would come from the money that we've saved that we have liquid right now and he does still have some commission coming in and we'll you know we'll continue to work probably through like may or something like that okay so at that point you would be 64 is that right so you'd have you're looking at about three years yeah I'd be about 63 and a half okay and how much do you feel like he might be able to bring in through commissions ongoing well I think there's another 30 or so that he is will be coming in in the next few months okay all right yeah so obviously that could get you through you know the first year or close to it because you're going to be working here for another you know six months or so it sounds like at that point I think the question is just is it better to start drawing down from the 75,000 which you know that would last you less than two years or and or start drawing an income from the half a million or is it better or is it better at that point to take social security early the challenge is every year you pull it early you're going to you know take about an eight percent reduction that's permanently locked in and you're not going to get a guaranteed eight percent in the investment account certainly not in the cash portion so I think you'd be better off to go ahead and start drawing some of that 75,000 down is the half million invested and do you have an advisor or how is that being handled we do have an advisor about 75,000 is in a Roth and you know he's plugged all the numbers into his program and it looks like there's like a 92 chance of it working however they however all those figures come into play but so you know we're thinking of spending the cash until we get to 65 and then taking money out of the accounts for to get to 67 and then start social security yeah and that was what the advisor recommended as he ran those scenarios yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah I mean that makes sense to me just because again we're you're not going to get to guaranteed eight percent in the in the investment accounts and the only other option is you delay your retirement for a you know a period where you continue to work and that way you can you know avoid having to pull so early from either the cash account or the investment accounts but obviously that comes down to lifestyle and you know whether you all are ready to transition to what God has next for you the other option is you you know go ahead and retire from your current job and maybe you either one or both of you pick up some part-time work and try to bridge this gap between you know 64 and a half and 67 to you know again lessen the burden on what's coming out so you can preserve the full social security for yourselves and keep as much of the roughly 600,000 intact you know I think at the end of the day it's a it's a planning function and you know I think you just want to do as much as you can now to shore up what you're going to be living on for the rest of your life and that's two things one is delaying social security as long as possible and trying to just pull as little as possible out of those retirement accounts and that's just going to come down to how long and how much you're willing to work either in its current form or in some limited capacity you know beyond retirement does that all make sense yeah it does yeah but I generally speaking I agree with the direction you're going in terms of the priority order I would just throw in this additional thought about whether or not it it makes sense to either delay for even six months or delay or go ahead and retire and then work part-time but I think ultimately that's something you guys should pray through and together and and I love the fact that you're you're thinking through these scenarios with your advisor great all right we absolutely Mary thanks for listening to the program and thanks for calling in today we appreciate you being on the program call anytime well folks that's going to do it for us today so thankful to be invited into your stories each day and through your questions and sharing your lives with us and it's a real privilege to be able to encourage you with biblical truth not because it comes from me but because we look to the source god's word for direction and wisdom in all areas of life but that certainly includes this area of money management you see folks we each have a high calling and that is that we're money managers of the king of kings so let's be found faithful in doing that by being obedient to the scriptures thanks for joining us today faith and finance lives a partnership between moody radio and faith i want to see thanks to my team today tahira amy and robert you want to support the ministry you can do so at faithfi.com just click give we'll see you tomorrow bye-bye you