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Nurturing Relationships as Mentor and Friend

Man Talk / Will Hardy and Roy Jones Jr.
The Truth Network Radio
October 13, 2024 4:00 pm

Nurturing Relationships as Mentor and Friend

Man Talk / Will Hardy and Roy Jones Jr.

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October 13, 2024 4:00 pm

In the concluding episode of their enlightening series on Stu Weber’s “Four Pillars of a Man’s Heart,” hosts Roy Jones and Will Hardy shift focus to the final two pillars that complete the portrait of authentic manhood:

• The Mentor: Explore the transformative power of guidance and wisdom. Roy and Will discuss the role of a “Mentor” in nurturing growth in others, sharing life lessons, and leaving a lasting legacy. Discover practical ways to invest in the next generation and empower those around you through mentorship.

• The Friend: Delve into the heart of meaningful relationships. This segment highlights the importance of loyalty, empathy, and mutual support. The hosts share insights on cultivating deep friendships that enrich life and foster a sense of belonging and community.

With heartfelt discussions and relatable stories, this episode encourages men to build strong connections and positively influence others. Roy and Will provide actionable advice on how to integrate the Mentor and Friend pillars into daily life, enhancing both personal fulfillment and the well-being of those you care about.

Join us as we conclude this powerful series, offering inspiration and guidance on becoming a well-rounded man who leads, protects, teaches, and loves with intention.

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podcast radio family Christian faith talk Unity Jesus man addiction TAWCMM
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Welcome to Man Talk, a ministry sponsored by TAWCMM, talking and walking Christian men's ministry, where we're devoted to breaking down the walls of race and denomination, and to point men to their God-assigned roles.

Now here's your hosts, Will Hardy and Roy Jones Jr. Good to see you again, Bill. Yeah, talk to the fans and talk to all of the brothers and sisters out there who enjoy Man Talk, because we enjoy doing Man Talk. Yes, we do. You know, and I just love the fact that God has just placed us where he's placed us, to not be put in a cube, but just let the Spirit flow. Amen.

And let the Word of God be communicated to our brothers and sisters. So we're going to continue, Roy, from last week we were talking about the four pillars of a man, and maybe you can give our audience another intro on the synopsis. Sure.

I'd love to do that. Stu Weber, who's someone that we know personally from a few years back, who wrote the book, talks about the four pillars of a man's heart. In the last show, we talked about being a king and a warrior. The next two pillars of that four pillars of a man's heart are mentor and friend. And we want to talk about what that looks like on this program with you today and talk a little bit about being a mentor or a mentee. I think it's important that everyone's got someone in their life that's building into them and helping that's maybe run the race a little bit longer than they have, a little bit further down the road than they are, and can talk to them about things they're going to encounter and help maybe avoid, as we always say, some of the potholes that are on our road of life, right? And so I'm excited to talk about that today, Will. So one of the things, you know, personally, this and I didn't mention it in the first show, but I will mention it now, is this book was the very first book that I went through with my mentor in 2005. For those of you who don't know my story, you can read the story on talkum.com, a message from the founder.

And that's T-A-W-C-M-M dot com. Good. Thank you, Will. Thanks for clarifying that. T-A-W-C-M-M. And it was, for me, it was life-changing because I had known Christ for a long time as my personal Savior, but I didn't know what it meant to be a follower of Christ.

I was a salvation person, but I wasn't a servant person, and I wasn't a true follower. And this book is that powerful, and it's written many years back. But it's an incredible book, and I would encourage you to either listen to it on audiobook or Everand, which is part of Scribd, any of those vehicles that you can use if you're not a follower. You're a reader, but you don't mind listening.

Just a phenomenal book. So, Will, thank you for giving me an opportunity to share a little bit about that piece of my life. But mentor and friend, what does it mean to be a mentor, Will?

I put emphasis on correctly, and I put emphasis on correctly. So what does it mean to be correct in our discipleship? Well, what we should do is there are several discipleship programs, and, of course, we went through one discipleship program many, many years ago. Maybe you can tell us a little bit about that. You remember the book that we went through? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You're talking about the one that guy from Alabama walked us through. Oh, goodness. Will, you know, I've got some gray hair now, so I'll come back to that. It'll come back to me.

I may even have a copy of it. D-Life. D-Life, yes, yes. And D-Life, I think if you go through that particular program, or actually, it's sort of like a lifestyle change is the way he put that, and I think that's why he called it D-Life, like discipleship living, how to become an effective discipler for someone being discipled. And so when you read that, and we don't have time to go through it in the program, I recommend you get that and go through that, and once you go through that, then you'll understand the stages of how to disciple a man after you have been discipled by reading the book or going through with it, because they recommend you have a group of three or four.

Yeah, and it starts with the New Testament and then it moves to the Old Testament, so it's a great illustration, a great example. And so when you mentor, everybody can't mentor or they have difficulties in mentoring if they haven't been discipled or mentored correctly, so that's what I meant by that, but if they have been mentored correctly, then you still have potential to be able to communicate some teaching or some lifestyle change that you have affected them. That you have effectively went through and overcome as a believer.

But still, that's your testimony. So the question is, is how do I get an individual who I'm discipling, how do I get them to open up and share some of the things that maybe they are struggling with? So that's part of being a mentor, because you're actually listening, Roy, more than you're talking. So once you understand by listening what some of the struggles a man is going through, now you can take those struggles and say, okay, this is an approach based on the D life, this is an approach that you can take in order to letting God bless you to overcome it, but you can't not do it alone. That's the key. You have to have someone speaking these things into your life. But mentoring is more than teaching. It's a lot more than that. It's taking an individual and you're saying, if I'm here and I want to be here, how do I get from there to here?

What is it that I need to do consistently? Because most of the time, Roy, we hear things and we receive those things with joy, just as Jesus said when he talked about the parable of the sower. Someone hears the word and then the word makes them happy. They hear a song, it makes them happy, and then all of a sudden, here comes the enemy and he sows discord, and now the joy that you just had with the song and with the word has been stolen because we let our guard down. So mentoring more than teaching, it's fellowship, it's lifestyle changes, it's being that individual who can sow the word of God into their person's life in a way that is not condescending, put emphasis on condescending, and you're not putting the individual under a microscope.

Because nobody's perfect. That's exactly right. But what you do, Roy, is you let the word of God shine the light on them. You don't be that individual to do that.

That's really good. One of the things that comes to mind as you were sharing that, Will, is that intimacy between two men. When you get transparent, if you peel the onion back, if you will, and you just can be yourself about where you struggle and where you as the mentor have struggled. You can share those things with the mentee and create a unique bond, as we talk about quite often in our ministry. The need for that is paramount in men's lives.

Most men either don't know how to initiate it, don't know how to manifest that in a relationship, or they're scared to do it because men are expected to be, if it's broke, I can fix it, and I don't need anybody else to help fix me. Even those that follow Christ struggle at times with independence. As you and I have talked about many times, it's crisis management quite often with men. When they get in trouble, then they turn to God and they turn to others. But when they're not in trouble, they feel like, well, hey, everything's good. I don't need anybody else.

But it's quite the opposite. That's when you really need others. It's because you could be building into others. Being a mentor, that's one of the things I guess if I could change about my life looking back would be that I wish that I had had that person who'd come alongside of me early on. I had men that were interested in me, that were keeping me somewhat guided, but they weren't the true deep relationship kind of guy that would pick me up, take me to lunch, or go sit down and take a walk, or go fishing.

That kind of stuff to really build deep and help get my root structure grounded really well early. I guess, as you and I have talked about many times, part of being that mentor is not just outside of your family. It's inside your family, especially men to men. You're mentoring your sons, and you're mentoring them in a way that they need to be thinking about as they grow up. That was one thing, and we've talked about in the past as well, is breaking the legacy. That was what God allowed me to do, was break the legacy of not having that Father figure, and understanding the Heavenly Father relationship for my sons and my daughters.

That was a real blessing. Mentor, folks, it's an extremely important phase of life. We know that, biblically speaking, there's the Paul, Timothy, and the Barnabas, so the three different facets. You're either the mentor, the mentee, or the comrade, or the fellowship brother, so you're just running along in the race with you. So we all need those characteristics in our life. Amen. And, Roy, I'm thankful that I had basically a whole church that was a mentor to me, because the church that God blessed me to, quote, unquote, grow up in and get saved in, which was a house that was actually converted to a church. And it wasn't a beautiful place, but the Spirit of God was there. And I saw all of the brothers there working together, and most of us that were part of that fellowship, we were in the military. And so we had the connection, because some of us were in the same company, and some of us were in maybe the company next door, or some was in the company across the street or down the hill in Fayetteville in Fort Bragg, so we had that whole church. And I can remember the ministers who were there that God called, all of the deacons that were there. I think we had more deacons than we had ministers, and they were just so readily available to help. And they had different aspects in which they focused on and God blessed them with.

And one, I remember one brother, he was our lead singer for our quartet, men's quartet that we had. And he was a loud brother, too. I mean, he was loud. But God really blessed him to preach. And you didn't want to get close to him while he was preaching, or you would get a shower, if you know what I mean. Because he had like very wet lips, if you know what I mean.

So if you get too close, you might get showered on that first row. But he was a dynamic pastor. He went on to become a pastor in his own church. So many ministers who started there, who were licensed and ordained like myself, came out of there and went on to become, to our bishops across the country and many others, just God blessed to have local churches either there or within other states.

And they're still practicing. We have lost some to COVID, but I'm thankful that they would just get together. And they would see a brother who would be down or might be going through something, and we would all just surround that brother and say, just let us know how we can help.

And it wasn't, I mean, men were there on the double. It wasn't, let me pray about it, because we already knew there was need. So the brothers were just ready to respond.

And the drop of a hat and moments notice. And so that's why I'm thankful, Roy, that I had so many mentors, all those brothers and ministers and deacons. And we still communicate with some of them via Facebook.

We've lost a few, one or two to COVID, and then others, just natural causes. But it was such a blessing, that church. It was called the Nondenominational House of Prayer. And it's still going on in Spring Lake, North Carolina. And the pastor there is still Nathaniel Menifee. He's getting up there in age, but he's a dynamic man.

That's awesome. We need to get him on the program. I don't know if he can travel like he used to. We'll connect him remotely, yeah, that'd be awesome.

We can do a remote. But that's my mentorship in a nutshell. That's awesome, Will. And I think when the man listening, Roy, there's always someone that you can talk to. We should never, as men, say, there's really nobody I can talk to. There's always, always someone you can talk to.

And God will place that man in your life that you can share things with. And you know that when you share them, they will not go beyond the room in which you are located. Because that's part of what a mentor's responsibility is. Confidentiality. Confidentiality. Keep things within the confines between you and the brother. Yeah, and we talk about that regularly with our small groups and our Friday morning groups.

That what's said there stays there because if men feel safe enough to share what's on their heart, we need to be responsible enough to protect it and not make it part of gossip or pillow talk at home or whatever. Absolutely. Will, one of the things that we know about being a mentor is that they're few and far between.

Yes. And those that are really capable of doing it probably should evaluate, should I be a mentor to somebody that are listening to us tonight and they're today? And I think that's so important. And especially when we think about the young men of today, even the older men that didn't have it growing up, there's still some voids that could be closed. And if you think about, as Proverbs talks about, as iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.

What better way to help get a man grounded in his walk with Christ than to invest in someone? And you and I both had the ability and the privilege and the honor to be able to do that and have several that we're doing it with now. And it's just such a great, great blessing. Will, the next component is friend. Will, the fourth component, as I just mentioned, is friend. The first friend that comes to mind is you, thinking about when we first met. It's been, gosh, 12 years in February.

Isn't that crazy? And just from day one, from the time we first met, it was just a kindred spirit how God brought us together. Well, Roy, you have to forgive me because the first friend that comes to mind with me is the song What a Friend We Have in Jesus. But no, I understand exactly what you're saying.

I agree. Friendship is hard, too. And the reason being is because I think when men allow a lot of noise to upset their friendship, and I know that there's friendships that have been divided over all kinds of issues in our society today, and it saddens me, and I know it saddens God of the amount of believers that allow themselves to be caught up in these things.

And now we have friendships that don't even exist because of things. I go back to Revelation 12 and verse 10 where it says that Satan is accusing us before God day and night. Now, I want you to listen to something, man.

I want you to listen to this very carefully. In the spiritual realm, every time that you allow yourself to step outside of the will of God, Satan and his minions are in the court of heaven accusing you before God. That's what Revelation 12 and 10 says, that he is an accuser of the brothering day and night. So he never stops accusing you before God on the things that you should be doing to grow God's kingdom. So behind the scenes, he's like, you see, God, they don't believe you or else they would do what you said.

Now, how do I know things like this is happening? Because all I have to do, Roy, is go over to Job 1 and Job 2. When the sons of God came to present themselves before the presence of the Lord, Satan came amongst them to present himself before the Lord. And then God said to Satan, Whence cometh thou? And Satan said, I'm coming to and fro, walking up and down in the earth.

I'm basically looking for someone who I can devour. That's what he does. So him and his minions in the spiritual realm, even as me and Roy are sitting here, they are present.

Yes, they are. And so what they're doing is they, because they can't read minds, they have to look at us and attempt to feed us thoughts. This is what's happening, man. They feed you thoughts. Either you are fed thoughts from the Holy Spirit or you are fed thoughts from the enemy. There's no middle ground.

There's no two ways about it. And what you do with those thoughts is how you act upon them and whether or not Satan's going to accuse you before God based on your response from the thought that he feeds you. That's good. And here all these things are going on, this conversation between God and Satan about Job and Job have no idea on what's going on. So if that's happening in the spiritual realm, it's happening today. Because this is our example.

Our example is what happened to Job. So even though you don't believe a conversation is happening in the court of heaven, it is. And if you can start thinking spiritual, because, see, Roy, when I think about that, I'm saying, you know, Satan has the gall to accuse me before God on something when I step out of the will of God. I am not going to let this happen.

Amen. I'm going to stand fast. And when you know that's happening and you know what he's doing, that should inspire such an anger toward Satan, not toward God, but an anger toward Satan that you're doing this, I'm going to stand fast even the more so because I know that that's what you're doing in the court of heaven. I'm going to let the Holy Spirit walk in, work in and through me to do both his will and his good pleasure.

I'm going to walk in the Spirit so I don't fulfill the lust of the flesh. I'm going to speak the name of God with confidence because this is the confidence that we have in him. If we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if he knows that he hears us, then we know that we have the petitions that we desire of him. And what that means, Roy, is simply that whatever it is we're petitioning God for, God is listening to us because we are being obedient.

Jesus said, if you love me, do what I said. Just do it. Amen.

Just do it. And we, our lives will be so much easier because even though we would appear to be struggling down here, God behind the scenes is saying, by you being obedient and now you're suffering for my name's sake, you're storing up treasures in heaven because you're working yourself through the suffering that you're enduring because you're speaking my name. Amen.

And you're standing on the Word. Amen. Praise God. Man, I'm excited right now.

I'm excited because Jesus wants you and he wants me and he wants Roy to be obedient and don't let the world conform you to itself. Amen. Regardless of what's going on out there. Right. Don't be conformed to that. Yeah.

And don't fall into Satan's trap. Don't do it. Yeah.

Because remember he's accusing you. Yeah. Don't let him win. That's great, Will. Praise God. Amen. Praise God.

Well, you know, we were in these last two elements. I don't think we have anything else to say after that, Will. That was a great finish. I mean, thank you so much, Will, for your heart. Thank you for how God's using you. I'm always amazed when we're together and just blessed to be a part of the relationship with you.

So thank you so much, Will. Well, Roy, before we go though, you talk a little bit about friendship. What does that mean to you?

Well, I think, friend, we've covered it in some aspects. For me, a friend is that person that's there through thick and thin, no judgment, that will hold you accountable in the righteous way, but knows if you fail, they're there to pick you back up. They're praying for you when you don't know they're praying for you.

Amen. And they're loving on you in the background. As you and I have talked many times, Will, that's an area that, because of the life that I grew up in and various components where God's gotten me today in serving, when you get in these roles, you know how it goes. Everybody thinks you've got your arms around all of it, that everything's clicking on all cylinders, but you and I know that oftentimes it's exactly opposite that. So for me, a friendship is that. That's what I think about friends, and I think it's the guy that you can call at 2 o'clock in the morning if something's gone wrong, if you had to, and they wouldn't think anything about it, taking your call. It's that person that will be there in the event that God's called us home for our families. As you know, I've had the honor of being able to serve people, our brothers that have gone on, and to be there weeks and months and years after the husband's gone and my friends. I think that's what it looks like for me, Will. It's just a few of the components. There's a whole lot more I'm sure if we spent time on that we could talk about.

And you're exactly right. Friendship has to start with Jesus and that love relationship with Him, and then everything else flows behind that. And I think, folks, if you're listening today, we just want to encourage you to dive deep. I'm in the middle of preparing for some stuff in October, and one of the things we've encountered is the amount of screen time people are spending, which that's not friendship. Your number of likes on your Facebook or on your Instagram or whatever social media you use is not friendship. Friendship is that one-on-one relationship and conversation, first with Jesus and God and then with your people around you. So I encourage you to dive deep.

If you don't have a friend, pray that God will bring the right person alongside of you to be that person because there is someone God's got chosen for you. Amen, Roy, because anybody can be behind the screen. Oh, yes.

There's a lot of warriors that are behind the screen. And whoever you think you might be talking to may be that person or they may not be that person, so we have to be careful. Will, let's close this out, brother. Father God, we thank you for this time together. We thank you for your heart.

Lord, I thank you for Will, for his knowledge, for his love for you and the example he sets and mentoring he's done with me, Father, over the years and just learned so much from him and still to this day use examples of things he's taught me and through your Word, Father, and I thank you for that. And Lord, I just lift up all of our listening audience that you would be with them, speak into their hearts about the four pillars of a man's heart. Lord, we just pray that their lives are changed. We pray that their families are changed, that the legacy is broken of what these men may have grown up with, Father, that they truly turn to you and just let you lead and guide their lives.

And we pray for mentors to come along, each one of those men, Father, and those young men that need somebody to show them what it means to be a man of God. And Lord, we just give all that to you tonight. Lord, we just thank you for your heart. Thank you for loving us. And Lord, we just lift up all of our listeners and just thank you for their time. It's in your Son's precious and holy name. Amen. Amen.
Whisper: medium.en / 2024-10-13 18:10:00 / 2024-10-13 18:20:24 / 10

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