S5 Ep17 Finally Free Continued Part 5

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Now here's your hosts, Will Hardy and Roy Jones Jr. It's an epidemic is what it is on pornography. You know, our men's group is going through the book finally free. And so what we're doing is we're looking at chapters in the book to help our viewers to understand some of the process that they perhaps need to go through in order to free themselves from this addiction. And the chapter that we're on now is talking about confession, confessing sins. And so he does an excellent job.

And of course he lists these points. But before we get into it, Roy, I'm going to ask you if you know the difference between being shamed versus embarrassed and just give an example. You don't have to define just give an example. I think shamed is somebody has there's been an external influence to bring shame on you. I think embarrassed is the internal knowing that you've done something wrong and it kind of comes from within. The shame is an external. I shame you by calling you out in front of other people. But you're embarrassed that I know something because I witnessed you do something. Well, I'm going to give you some practical examples.

Yeah. You've done any of those things. Not that I've done anything, but a practical example would be of embarrassing. It's like you come out of the restroom and you have a piece of TP on the bottom of your shoe. That's an embarrassing situation. Another one is you bend down to pick something up and you split your pants. That's an embarrassing situation. Or you are in a ballpark or sporting event and all of a sudden you're carrying drinks back to your chair.

Someone bumps into you and you spill the drinks on another person, even though it wasn't your fault. That's an embarrassing situation because you look at them and you say, oh, that's just sad. Now, examples of shame would be like the New York representative in New York who lied on his resume.

Yeah, yeah, about everything. Exactly. That is a shameful situation and I think it's because he got caught. So I think we can probably put a line there to say when you're shamed, it's because you got caught with something that you didn't think you would get caught by. Another example of shame would be Carl Lentz of Hillsong and his infidelity with his wife and things like that. Another example would be Felicity Huffman and Lori Lofton who paid a guy off to get their daughters in a prestigious school. Now we're not making light of these examples because all of this is public knowledge.

It's all public. But what we're saying is if you're engaging yourself in pornography and then all of a sudden you get found out about the pornography, then it becomes a shameful situation rather than confessing and letting through your confession, you let that take its course. And of course the Word of God talks about that. Word of God says in Proverbs 28, 13 that if a person covers or hides their sins, they will not prosper. But if they confess their sins, then God will have mercy. Now that's not to say that God is not a merciful God because He is, but what He does is He extends His mercy to the person who confesses. And of course we know from 1 John 1, 7, 8, and 9, if we walk in the light as He is in the light, then we have fellowship one with another and the blood of Jesus cleanses us from all sin.

If we say we have no sin, then we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. But then if we confess our sins, He's faithful and just to forgive us and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. So when we unpack those verses, we see that God wants us to confess to Him. So again, the mercy will be extended to us.

Again, we're already under mercy umbrella, but He would extend mercy in the given situation that you're going through. So for our audience benefit, what about the person who says, well, God knows everything, so why do I need to confess? Well, He wouldn't have said confess if He didn't want us to confess. So I think confessing because God says confess that this is a command that we must do. So whether we attempt to rationalize why we should do it or not, it's not the question. And you know that's being done.

Absolutely, it's not the question. But the question is is to go ahead and confess because that's what God wants us to do. So part of the confession, Will, so transparency with an accountability partner like we talked in the previous show last week, is that a good first step for the person who's maybe it's a new believer or even a believer who's been there a long time but doesn't really understand the concept of true confession and why that's important? How does a person who's helping another individual walk them through that? Well, you know, when you confess and when a person is again being talked to about a issue and of course we'll get to that, you know, that particular question when we start talking about the process because in the book he goes down and he lists the process and the first point he says, again, we're going to get back to the question, was one, make sure you confess to someone who has been affected by your sin.

That's the first thing you want to do. Then number two, you want to make sure you don't confess to someone who has not been affected by your sin. So and why is that?

Well, that's a fun. It's a fine line. Yeah, see in the fine line is how do I really know who I hurt? And and the answer is is you could have hurt multiple people in your sin journey with pornography. And a person may take the approach to say, well, if I don't know, but and I'm not positively sure, should I confess? And I would say yes, because there's always going to be and it's point three is repercussions.

Be prepared to suffer the repercussions. Now, God says in his word that we when we do suffer, we should suffer for doing good. What is confession?

It's doing good. So if we confess and it's we're doing good, then God say if you suffer as a result of maybe people calling you out for doing what you're doing or your wife not being open to you to do some of the things that she was doing before she found out that you were engaging in those things, then you're suffering for righteous sake. And that's that's first Peter chapter three. So we're suffering for righteousness sake verses 13 through 17.

So when we engage ourselves, when God says in verse 15 of first Peter three, he says specifically that let us sanctify the Lord God in our heart and then be prepared to give an account to every man who asked the reason for the hope that lie within us. So there is, but I can't do that if I'm held captive by pornography or other sin. That's right. I can't, but we're talking about.

So well, it's important because, you know, this book we've talked about supplicable beyond pornography. If you look at the conceptual principles that could be applied and you it's that rolling effect. Yeah, you know that you're talking about.

I think there was a term that you used. I can't think of it right now, but it's, you know, when the slow fade, you have that effect, you know, on individuals. Well, you one of the things you mentioned is you were going through that narrative about the spouse with the impact to the wife or flip side. It could be easily an impact to the man, right? If the woman is addicted to the pornography is that it changes the dynamics of the relationship. Not not that God won't repair it or that he can't repair it. Obviously, we know he can, but it to the suffering piece because you've done the right thing by stepping out and saying this is where I'm struggling.

This is why I failed that it may take recovery time for that to be restored to the level that it wants. Well, I wouldn't say the level once was to the right level. It should have been to begin with because you as the participant and pornography weren't where you needed to be mentally or physically with your spouse whoever it was the man or the woman, right? So it could take God will take them to a higher level in that intimacy. Absolutely and the wife, you know, she needs to understand as well as the husband if he's the one engaged in pornography that there's going to take time and see our mind and again, that's where the war takes place. You see our mind don't want us to forget. Even though we can forgive. The mind says remember when so if you have an individual who's engaged in pornography and they confess the pornography to the wife and now all of a sudden, you know, five years from now she continues to bring this up. She has to be delivered right you say so there's there's deliverance that has to occur both ways and deliverance is a part of being free. So now you can come together as one again and become joined, you know, because again, it'll never be the way that it was because again in the mind. She's always going to think If we're here engage in intimate intercourse. What is he thinking about? Is it me or is that the photos or the films he was watching prior to the right and that's where it truly has to be a Washington from the Holy Spirit ready to cleanse the heart cleanse the mind and restore the the newness to the relationship, you know, and and First Corinthians chapter 3 verses 16 and 17, you know, it talks about that our temple is the the our body is the temple of the Holy Spirit and it's where the Holy Spirit dwells.

So watch this Roy whatever it is. We do we're bringing the Holy Spirit into Union and that's a bad thing bad thing. We're grieving.

Absolutely. We're bringing the Holy Spirit into Union. So if we love God enough to say that here I am viewing this or engaging in this and now I'm bringing the Holy Spirit into Union with this. How is that making the Holy Spirit feel, you know, and because he dwells in you you should feel miserable.

That's right because he feels miserable. He's greed and so that I think again in and of itself when when he talks about those the first three points, you know, make sure that we confess to people who were affected by fit sin make sure we don't confess to individuals who were not affected by sin and finally be prepared to suffer whatever consequences that we have as a result, you know fundamentally and I think in the basic sense people are conscientious, right? These addictions cloud that consciousness of what right and wrong like it blurs the lines like we talked about before it becomes a rationalized behavior.

When you think about from a practical standpoint. We have the Holy Spirit in us once we've accepted Christ and the Holy Spirit comes to dwell within us. And if we would stop back to the earlier last week show we talked about taking a few moments to reflect right?

Sometimes it's just about getting quiet. If we really think in our mind in our hearts and our souls about what are we doing to our relationship with the Holy Spirit and with God whether it's pornography or anything where we're in a sinful behavior or reacting wrong or treating people incorrectly. Why wouldn't we line up properly if we really took those moments to think about that impact to the relationship with the Holy Spirit and you see Roy in that sense a individual has to has to be at a point to have that close relationship. If you got that close relationship, God will quicken you and quicken means to make alive. So he he will make the word alive in you and I don't recall the verse but in Psalms 119 it talks about that your word have I hit in my heart that I may not sin against you and see so inside inside. See the Spirit of God awakens you to the fact that what you're doing is wrong and I've I've been at those points. I mean, you know, I may have blown up at somebody or said something, you know, snap judgment or something been me to talk to you about that.

But but the Spirit quickens and it brings you and put you back on course. I see now fourth point he talks about in that chapter is he says that to make sure that you have a individual and you know, like an accountability or a senior person who is there with you perhaps when you start the confession process because what they'll do is they can lead and guide you in the direction that you need to go and make sure that you're not saying any more that you need to say but you need to confess and of course, that's point number five. Don't be be complete and thorough, but don't get into all of the details, you know, all of the details. What were you watching? Who were the women?

Where were they from all this stuff? All of that's not necessary. But what needs to be talked about is what's happening.

How much time are you spending doing this? As we talked about in the last on the last show. What is it again? Are you thinking about when you're engaging in it, right? Have this action hurt you financially or legally because again, they could go in another direction, you know, and so and again, we talked about that when we have the individuals from Lantern Rescue. Yeah, you know on the program and they talk about how they're going into all these countries and rescuing children who men and women who have the financial means to simply just buy these children for their own pleasure. Yeah, that's an abomination and that is truly happening folks. I don't know if you've been exposed to it Exodus Cry, which is one of the groups out there that's fighting against sex trafficking Lantern Rescue as Will mentioned earlier as friends of ours that we've supported through the ministry and it's a it's a very big problem and it goes back. We've talked about this before if you're engaged in pornography doesn't matter at what level if you're engaged in pornography, you're feeding that pipeline. You're a culpable in that ownership of what's going wrong with these children that are being kidnapped being put into sex slavery all those sort of things. So it's when you think of it back to like we're talking about earlier.

You got the relationship with Holy Spirit and then you take it to the next level. What is the collateral damage that I'm responsible for even though I may not see it at the moment. These are the things that I'm contributing to if I'm involved in this then you are contributing to children and sex slavery. I mean, that's that's just that simple. Absolutely and the fallout I think is a lot worse than the individual actually understands. It is it is. Yeah, he they understand that whatever it is they're going they're doing at the time.

It's okay. It's fulfilling a physical need but the fallout behind that is astronomical because it could be like a rippling effect. Yeah, you know you throw a stone in the water and you see the ripples because and see and again all of our viewers out there.

We're not judging anyone not at all and we understand what the scripture says the scripture says in Matthew chapter 7 judge not that you be not judge but with the same judgment you judge you shall be judged with the same measure you meet it shall be measured to you again. So and then he goes on to say you say let me take the spec out of my brother's eye while in the meantime you got a plank in your own eye. So so he's saying you have a bigger issue than your brother had and you're saying let me take out a speck and you have a huge point.

So we all had planks we do and all of us at some point in our walk had specs but the problem is is whether it's a spec or a plank. It's a problem. Yeah, it doesn't matter the size and that's that's my point exactly. So so that's what we have to understand. Yeah, but I think don't confuse judgment with holding a brother or sister accountable accountability.

Yeah, correct. Because if someone's sinning then you need to hold them accountable to that. So you're not judging by saying hey, this is what God's going to do to you as a result of this you're saying hey, you're in the wrong here. You're not following God's will we need to address this and how as a brother and sister in Christ, how are we going to come through this and see and that's that's the actually Roy what you're doing is you're rescuing a individual. So in a sense we might be part of land and rescue. I mean in a far away sense because we're rescuing them from the sin that is holding them down and see God says in 1st Corinthians chapter 10.

He says that he won't give you more than you can bear. Yeah, and there's been times we've received the thing. But see the thing about that is when we read that verse and we say well if I still engage in it, then it was more than I can bear. Well, the thing about it is is we didn't allow the Holy Spirit enough time and word to release us and wash us from that.

Yes. Amen. See so what what it is is we went ahead and engaging in it instead of just taking a step back thinking about it and say wait a minute.

Something's not right here. Something is you know, not it's not stirring me up to the point to where I want to release myself and see these are the things that I think we have to be cognizant of. Yeah, one of the things for our audience benefit that we've encountered through the years is that the deeper this goes the longer it goes the more difficult it is to recover physically not not spiritually or emotional but physically because the disconnect start to occur in the brain and science has shown that the stimulation factor of this pornography is different than what God intended for the stimulation to occur and then at some point it's almost impossible for the man to respond as God designed him to respond through natural occurrences because of all this years of watching this this video watching these images watching these activities go on. So that's one of the things that you know that people don't talk about and don't talk much about and I will have to check with our brother in Christ Dr. Evans. I'll reach back to him and we'll bring this back on our next program.

He's a urologist in the area great great physician to ask him about what the empathy impact has been amongst young men in their 20s as a result of all these years of watching pornography because it is it has grown quite a bit and I'll try to get some numbers for us for our next show. Amen, and then finally his last point he says don't make excuses for your sin. Now, what's the excuse that men generally have that I hear well, my wife doesn't want to be Anthony. Yeah, so you don't want to do what I want her to do anymore, you know, so so I got to seek and find it somewhere else. But see you're looking for an excuse and if you look for an excuse enough you find one there's always an excuse absolutely always a reason, you know, it's just like some some of these safety organizations, you know OSHA and people who come in and inspect plants and things like this their their budget is based on the problems that they find. So they're going to keep looking until they find something because they know that there's something there and that's how they get funded. So they keep looking and looking and they find this they find that they find the other thing and if a person wants to truly find an excuse then they will but that tells me that you don't want to be free. You want to continue to be held captive in your sin and continue to turn in the mire. Absolutely. Yeah, and you know that I think will cause an individual not only to say well, I've gone this far.

Why not go a little further? Well again, look at all of the people who you affect it up until that point and look at all the people who you're going to affect later on, you know, if you continue down this path and I think listeners this is why this is important and viewing audience when you have a issue of pornography. Pornography is not something that you can get over with just overnight. It's an impossibility.

Let me say one more time. It's an impossibility to get rid of this overnight because depending on how long you've been engaging in it. You might have to take that much time or longer to get out of it and it reminds me when I was driving with my family. Well, we were on our way to Missouri to visit a friend. This was many years ago and you know when you get on some of those Missouri roads and you're not near any cities.

You just near small towns and you miss your exit. You may have to go 23 miles to get back together, you know to get to the exit where you can turn around and come back the other way and sometimes not in all cases because we know that God can miraculously do things. We know this but sometimes and not for all brothers or sisters that you may take that time to get back because realizing and recognizing all of the things that you could have done to benefit the kingdom, but you were benefiting your flesh and stay in temporary basis. So this is this is the reason why I think for God, you know to break through that we have to have that mindset and which we mentioned in last week show the one of the things that comes up at later in chapter 7 talks about the arrogance that exists within an individual because it's all about them and that's hence they rationalize they make all the reasons that they can do this and to Will's point without the without the Holy Spirit without God's intervention. It will take quite a bit of time now God's capable of releasing you. We've seen that with the got the one guy who was a 50-some year addict remember went up on the mountaintop and God released him that weekend and which after he'd fought it for 50 some years and they sound like how does somebody fight it for that long?

Well, it all started many many many years ago with magazines and then as he got older and the internet came along then it became easier access point. So and we're coming down Roy to the end of the show, but I tell you it's been a really good show talking about the word because we need the word. Amen. See and we can't we can't have a show audience without the word because it's the word that keeps us and we saw that when we talked about Proverbs 13 about confessing rather than covering our sin God will extend mercy to us. So we talk about the Word of God is because the Word of God is what we need to stand on. We cannot stand on anything else but the word.

Amen. See I can't stand on Roy's testimony. I can't do it. Roy can't stand on my testimony. We sing songs together. But once the song is over and we go home, that's it. But the Word of God will last for ever and forever and ever. Oh Lord. Thy word is settled in heaven. This is what we're all about. So we thank you. Thank you Roy as always for likewise, you know God giving you the vision to continue in this ministry. And again, if you're in the area come out and join us on the first third and fifth Friday because God is doing magnificent and mighty things. We thank God for you and we just trust that the Lord will continue to be with you. God bless you and we love you. Thank you.