Men of Purity

Hey, this is Jim Graham from the Masculine Journey Podcast, where we explore relationship instead of religion every week. Your chosen Truth Network Podcast is starting in just a few seconds. Enjoy it, share it, but most of all, thank you for listening and for choosing the Truth Podcast Network. This is the Truth Network. Welcome to Man Talk, brought to you by TAWCMN, talking and walking Christian men's ministry, where they're devoted to breaking down the walls of race and denomination, and challenging men to take their God-assigned role.

Here's our hosts, Will Hardy and Roy Jones Jr., a black guy and a white guy. Welcome back to Man Talk Radio. Roy, it just seems like, you know, the weeks just fly by, and here we are another week, and behind the mic again, talking to our brothers in Christ. Amen, Will, it's always good to see you, and I know when we finished the show, on last week's show, that you were about to finish up, you had one more point that you want to make around determination, I believe, as we were talking about components. So why don't you bring us up to speed real quick on that, and finish that last point, and then we'll get into this week's topic.

Amen. You know, we were talking about the three components to purpose, and we said desire, motivation, and determination. Then we specifically gave sub-points to motivation, is that you have to have enthusiasm, you have to have accountability, and you have to have a end goal, something that you're trying to reach. And then that last point is determination, and determination is coming to a decision to fix something, or to settle something.

So this particularly focuses on your end objective. What is it that you're trying to reach, and the drive that it's going to take to get there? And I'm just reminded of a couple scriptures here, Psalms 44 and 18, our heart has not turned back, nor have our steps departed from your way. So when you are focused on God, and you're centered on Him, nothing's going to allow you to go to the left or to the right.

It's just like we were talking about in Romans 8, you know, what is it that shall separate you from the love of Christ, which is shall tribulation, distress, persecution, nakedness, sword, all of these things. And I might add, shall cell phone, shall computer games, shall computer. Yeah, computer games, the big one there, like we talked about before, right?

We know gaming is the number two distraction among men. Absolutely. So what is it that's going to separate you? And then in Chronicles, chapter 15 and verse 7, but you be strong. This is the prophet talking to the king. You be strong and do not let your hands be weak, for your work shall be rewarded. If we keep our hands to the plow, if we allow God, again, we say allow because God is not going to force himself on you. You have to be the one to be that man who stands up and be the center of your family. Because if man, if he can, if the enemy can take you out, then the family going to go too.

Still kill and destroy is his whole purpose. And if he takes you out, the family does go. And we've talked about as the man goes, so doth the family. John 10, 10.

And if the 99 or was it 94% chance that if a man's involved in church, his wife and his children will be involved and be followers of Christ. Absolutely. So Roy, go ahead and take us, start with that purity piece. Yeah, thank you, Will. You know, folks, over the last several weeks and a few of our shows have been related to, you know, we've talked a little bit about pornography. We've talked a little bit about man's purity.

And we really, we can't speak enough to this. So what we want to talk to you about today is just purity, a man of purity, what that looks like, what the consequences are for persons not trying to live a pure life. And a man of purity goes beyond just the pornography or staying away from pornography.

It requires a conscious decision to live an upright life. And with, as we've just mentioned, with Satan's goal to steal, kill, and destroy, I don't think there's any greater need to really just slow down here for a moment. I don't think there's really any greater tool in his toolbox right now than pornography as it relates to men and young boys. And because, you know, it's a cumulative damage that happens in the cumulative addiction that occurs. And it gets to a point with a young boy that we're looking at one thing's not enough, and he has to ramp it up in the terms of his observations and the same for men.

And the more ramping up it goes, the darker it gets and the deeper it gets. So just think about that as we're going through this purity conversation. We're going to give you a few statistics to take and write down and just to ponder on as you're listening. And, you know, one thing about change and one thing about making an impact on a country or on a city or on a community or on a church, it starts with one person. If you will try to impact or change one person in this arena, and then that person changes one person, then we can make a difference. We're never going to be perfect. We're never going to totally escape it. But what we can do is we can get our men back home that are in the church that are in the middle of this problem. We can get our brothers back home. We can get our sons back home.

Get them back in the diligent walk with Christ. Because if we leave them all alone and we don't do something about this, we're going to suffer consequences far beyond our ability to understand, I think, over the next 20 years, maybe even the next 10 years. I really do, Will. You know, and I know this is near and dear to your heart, Roy. I know it is, you know, and this is something that, you know, we've talked about a lot. And people might be asking the question, you know, gosh, you guys talk about this a lot. And that's because it's a problem.

It is. You know, we talk about it because it's a problem. And I think, Roy, you got some stats in reference to pornography and how it has affected just people around the world.

Yeah, thank you, Will. And you're exactly right. And we do talk about it, not every show, but we do talk about it with regularity because it does need to be spoken about, Will. And thank you so much for saying that. I think the church is, well, based on statistics that you and I talked about several weeks ago, I think more churches and even some of the statistics I read in the last couple of weeks is that men don't see that big a deal about pornography.

Even men in the church, which shows you that we're becoming influenced by the world instead of us influencing the world. And we're going to talk about what that syndrome, and there's a name for that out there that we're going to, I got educated a few weeks ago in an article I was reading. We're going to share that with you today, folks. So you might want to get a pencil and piece of paper and write this down. Amen.

It's hard to pronounce, but we'll get it out. But let's talk about pornography just real quick. 40 million Americans are regular visitors to porn sites. Now think about this, 40 million populations, give or take 330 million people. So you're talking about, you know, one eighth of the population is a regular visitor to a porn site. And that number is probably going up daily.

It is because these statistics, I'm sure a couple of years old, cause it takes a long to compile. And when this, the survey was done, 42 million porn websites were in existence, 42 million, 42 million porn sites. And see Roy, the thing about that is years and years ago, you would have to go to the place. Now you got it at the tip of your fingers.

Yes. And folks, what's important to remember about this is that your children, your children have access to this. If you've provided them with a smartphone with no parental controls or no monitoring software on that phone, they have wide open visibility and exposure and access to this 42 million porn websites.

And see, you know, Roy, that, that brings up another topic. I was reading there the other day to where, uh, because we're doing all schools are doing a lot of work, kids working from home and things like that, that you have these, uh, you have these, uh, uh, sites and people who are actually going out and zoom bombing these locations and putting this type of material while the class is in session. And we're talking about, you know, grade school children who are being exposed to this. See, that's the, you know, that is just absolutely absurd, pathetic, and just wrong on so many fronts, wrong on so many fronts, you know, and we've talked about this wheel and I'll share it again. You know, a person does not have the, does not have the mental capacity to take on this type of exposure at such a young age.

It's not healthy for anybody at any age, much less a child or an adolescent or a teenager. And we need to be cognizant of that. And we need to be aware of that.

We need to ask everybody to, to really be looking at what your children are looking at on their phones and put some monitoring uh, apps on there that can notify you when they are in an inappropriate, inappropriate, um, website or that sort of thing. So, um, we hope that you're able to understand what we're trying to share with you. This is not a, not a conversation of condemnation. This is a conversation of coaching and learning and watching. And folks, we deal with men, uh, by the hundreds each year in thousands, even in our, uh, in our seminars and our events over time, just, we know it's a problem. Absolutely. And statistically it's proven to be so. So we're going to share a few more things with you. It's 150 billion with a B $150 billion a year industry globally. Now think about that.

That's, that's incredible. You know, $150 billion a year, you know, and this is one of those things I don't, you know, trust, but verify spouses. You need to trust, but verify each other. You need to talk about this. You need to say, Hey, honey, I love you so much.

I want to make sure that you're not being tempted or the enemy's not getting the hold of you and put, agree to put the software on both of your phones. Cause women now about 35% of the women are looking at pornography now, which is equally as bad. I mean, Roy, you know, when we, when you, when you talked about that number, $150 billion, I mean, that's, that's getting up there with what's the guy, Amazon, Jeff Bezos. So, I mean, that's getting up there with, with income that he is making just this guy alone and who was one of the richest men in the world. And that tells you how big the problem is. And you, and, and people are feeding into this and it's all walks of life. It's not just, you know, the guy who's the blue collar worker. We're talking about judges. We're talking about, you know, a lot of individuals who, who are up in government, engage in things like this. Well, you know, it's a great lead into the, one of the other statistics I've got written here, Will, is that 68% of church going men and 50% of pastors view porn on a regular basis.

Wow. Now folks, this tells you that, you know, as much as you love the men in your life and men, as much as you are loved, it's a problem. You know, even the pastor struggle with it because Satan knows what it takes to get a man's attention and get him distracted.

And folks, to be quite honest, it is the looks and the beauty of a woman, but it's now been perverted and objectified and you have been totally misled down this path. It's not the way God intended for it to be. It's not the way God intended for it to be. You know, the other thing too, Will, that's a really interesting statistic on this conversation is that pornography usage increase increases infidelity by 300%. So if you're in a relationship, your pornography usage is going to increase the potential for infidelity by 300%.

And again, I think it goes back to Roy, when an individual might be upset with their spouse and they feel like, you know, I'm not being satisfied physically, like you used to when we were younger or whatever the case may be. And that's on both sides of the fence. Exactly, exactly. But because what happens is, you know, either one is going to look for an excuse. That's right. Yeah.

And excuses, we all know. Everybody's got one. Everybody's got one.

Everybody's got one that's a little bit different, right? So, hey folks, this is a really, really important topic for all of us. And it's a cautionary conversation, but it's an awareness conversation. And we need you as followers of Christ and men to make a difference in your household with this and in your own personal life.

So we'll be back in continuous conversation in just a few moments. Join your host Will Hardy and Roy Jones Jr., a black guy and a white guy. Affordable chiropractic in High Point. As you might tell from their name, affordable chiropractic, even for the cash patient. Dr. Jeff Fricke has been caring for patients in High Point for 34 years. Physical therapy such as ultrasound and spinal decompression for disc conditions such as herniation, comprehensive care for auto accident injury patients with no out-of-pocket expense. Remember, affordable chiropractic on West Lexington Avenue in High Point.

Call 336-885-1987. Welcome back to ManTalk Radio. We are so glad you joined us. And, you know, we're having a conversation today on purity and the importance of being pure. And this goes both ways, not just for men, but for men and women and keeping each other in check and also in loving on each other because, you know, we want to protect each other. No greater love, I think, than protecting your spouse. That's a great action of love to keep your spouse safe from temptation.

Well, a couple more stats, Roy. 47% of families in the United States say that they, that pornography is a problem in their home. And 56% of Americans' divorces involve one party having a obsessive interest in pornography.

Well, and the obsessive means controlling interest means that they're hooked. That's right. Yeah.

And they can't turn it loose. Right. So let's talk scripturally folks about what we're supposed to be doing. Hebrews 13, four marriage should be honored by all. And the marriage bed kept pure for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. And when you think about marriage bed, that is the total relationship.

It's not just the physical bed, but it's the total marital relationship between the husband and wife. That means all intimacy needs to be kept pure and the way God originally planned for it. First Corinthians 6, 18 through 20, flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God, you are not your own for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body. Do not grieve the Holy Spirit folks by doing this and watching this stuff and being, letting it be a part of your life. Do not do that. Amen. You know, Roy.

Oh, sorry, but you're okay. Well, so, uh, we've got to take a little change up here. One day, one other scripture I want to give you too is James 1 27 religion that God, our father accepts as pure and faultless is this to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.

You know, the key part about that, there's two things in that, which we talked about. One thing about purity is, is the children. And, uh, we'll talk about that on a different day, but, uh, do not be polluted by the world. Keep oneself from being polluted by the world. Think about that folks.

The normal stuff we're exposed to every day is polluting enough, is pollution enough, much less to throw pornography on top of the stuff we're already having to deal with on a daily basis. Amen Roy. And you know, this point here that you had about cognitive dissonance, and, uh, it explains how someone will either change their attitude and their beliefs to match the behavior or change the behavior to match their beliefs. Wow. That's, that's, that's, that's real deep. And, and the thing about it is, is, you know, we were talking today about spiritual sacrifice and how the enemy has a tendency to want to throw pop-ups and, and, and, and adware and, and spyware at you. And, and then finally hold you ransom.

See, when you are obsessed, now you are held ransom because you, you have gone down to three levels and you've allowed yourself to be pulled in down this enemy's avenue. And so what you once believed to be true, now the thing that's false, we're calling it true. That's right. So, so we're, we're changing our beliefs now to line up with our actions because we want to justify, right? You know, it's human nature. We want to justify what we're doing. That's correct, Will. And folks, think about that for a second. You know, we've talked about the rationalization that we do when we're in the middle of something we shouldn't be doing.

This is exactly what we're doing, talking about here. You're changing your belief system to match up with your behavior, which your behavior is sinful. So therefore you're changing your belief system. I, you're weakening down the word of God. You're weakening down the conviction of what you're supposed to be doing following Christ.

You're just, you're letting the world influence your walk instead of you influencing the world. Amen. And see, and so if you out there and you have other relationships going on, all of these things you're bringing back to your spouse at home. So, and not only that, but if you claim to be that man of God, whom God had called you to be, and you have this secret life going on, now what you're doing is you're introducing the Holy Spirit to all of these, this infidelity that you're involved in. Yeah, you're grieving the Holy Spirit. Amen.

Like we talked about. And so the consequences of, of an individual being involved in this is it defiles your temple. It defiles your temple. It takes away the purity in which God said you should maintain because our body is no longer our own once we become a child of God.

That's right, Will. The mind is being altered and sometimes to an irreparable state, you know, because the disconnect is starting to occur from natural stimulation, natural the way God designed it. So now this, this counterfeit stimulation, if you will, this sinful stimulation is rewiring the brain and there's a chemical change that occurs.

And it's been shown, studies have shown that the, the reaction of the brain when it's, when it's exposed to pornography is, is quite different than in other, other modes of, of exposure for the brain and activity. So you're, you're hardwiring yourself if you stay on this path and to a place that may be irreparable. And which leads us into the next point. And, and I just like to change up the wording a bit from what we, what you have here is the greater the need, the more you're going to feed it.

Yes. So, so if you, if you, if you have this drive, this desire and see that was, that was just exactly what we were talking about our point before. If your end goal is to be an infidel to your family and you're allowing yourself to be engaged in all of these acts of, of sin that you're bringing back home, what does that say?

Is you as a man and as leader and as a brother in Christ, it doesn't say much. Exactly. Next point. One of the things we talked about when we were on there, a Duane show the other week, we'll was the, about the supply chain, right. And how you're feeding into that. So we need to, before we close out, we need to make sure to mention that. But you know, one of the things that is, we always talk about your desire will get greater than the need gets greater. You know, that goes darker to folks. It gets darker as you have to have a greater stimulation and a greater, uh, exposure.

It gets much, much darker. You supporting the supply chain is what we've talked about. And if you think of it this way, your demand creates downstream demand, albeit you may not be the person that's looking at child pornography, but you are feeding that supply chain that supplies child pornography and creates the need for that child pornography. And creates the demand for supply chain for pornography.

Let me explain here. You start out with just pictures to begin with, then it becomes movies. Then when the movies no longer work, you got to ramp up what type of movies you're looking at. So now just instead of normal, uh, interaction, now you've gone to gang interaction. You've gone to rape.

You've gone to all these things that are the deep, darker modes. And eventually it gets down to teenagers and it gets into preteens and it gets into adolescents and it gets into infants. And folks, you're saying infants, trust me, we know we have relationship with a ministry guy that does travel overseas to take children out of these child slavery situations from eight months to three years old to five years old to preteens to teens to like we just talked about. So we know this is going on. We know from him specifically, this is happening and others and statistically it shows. So you're feeding into that supply chain. If you're participating, you're culpable. You're a part of that supply chain.

And this is another reason if you can't do it for your own personal benefit, think about those children in other countries are being sold into this abuse and sold into the sex slavery thing just because people upstream are creating the demand. That's right. And see, eventually the darker it becomes, the more you're determined to feed the need, uh, that you have, then what happens is, you know, all of the, all of the consequences, all of the wave action, if you will, that's going to happen and affect the people around you. And you, you are attempting now to try and cover it up to say, well, it's not that bad. I can stop anytime until you get to the point to the things that you start seeing on the screen. Now you want to act them out. That's right.

Well, because the thing on the screen no longer works. So just, and I believe it was Ted Bundy. We've talked about that one. Maybe it was when we were with the Wayne, uh, that was when he was interviewed by James Dobson. That's where it started.

It started with visual pornography magazines back then, then it ramped up from there and it took him to a dark spot. You know, are we sitting here saying that every person that's involved is going to go to a dark spot now? No, but we're saying there's a high probability, a large percentage are going to continue to go some level deeper than just the front side. The front side is sin.

So anywhere in that pipeline is sin. So folks, you got to get out of it. It's just, and again, back to our earlier conversation, men, women, hold each other accountable. Don't be afraid to put the software, agree as spouses and partners that, Hey, yep, this is a problem or temptation. I want you to help me be accountable to this.

Who better than your spouse, to be honest with love on them, trust them, but verify and keep them, help keep them out of this mess. Cause it is bad. And it folks, you're culpable. If you're on these sites, you're feeding into that supply chain. So don't think because you're not looking at those dark things.

You're still responsible for what feeds into that supply chain and directly. So you're part of it. And when you, when you do that, you know, you, you are feeding that monster that that's out there. The devourer, the one who wants to still kill and destroy, as we talked about in John 10, 10 and Jesus said, I came however, to that you may have life right. And, and to have it more abundantly see not just life, but abundant life. So as born again, believers, we should be living above our circumstances, not engaged in our circumstances because when, when you, when you're living above your circumstances, this is showing Roy that you an overcomer it is, you know, and, and we go back to John five, four and John four, four, you know, our faith is what build us to the point of being an overcomer. Our faith.

If, if it don't, don't allow yourself to say, Oh, it's not happening fast enough. My wife or my husband, you know, they don't touch me like they used to. That is the beginning point of when Satan wants to start drawing you to that dark place.

That's right. And one thing we want to come back to real quick before we close is as the father and husband goes, so does the family and children. So men, if you think you're doing something that your kids aren't aware of, trust me, they'll know. If you think you're doing something that they're not going to get attracted to, if you're doing it, that tells them it's okay. So if the young men are tempted by it, well, my dad's doing it, so it must be okay. You really want that to be how your son grows up to be? No, I'm sure not. So pray about it.

Ask God's help and guidance, because he'll do what you can't do in the supernatural, but you've got to take the first step in the natural. We thank you for joining us. We hope that this has spoken to your heart. God bless you all. Thanks for being with us.

We love you. As we wrap up today's show, be assured that TAWCMM, Talking and Walking Christian Men's Ministry, is building a community of men that are Christ followers with a desire to be servant leaders in their homes, communities, churches, and work environments. Check out our website for upcoming events and regularly scheduled meetings. Drop us a note for topics that you would like to have us visit in the future. Thank you for joining us on Man Talk today. Visit us at www.tawcmm.com. Men walking the talk.