Godly Men And Women And Sex

Welcome to Man Talk, brought to you by TAWCMN, talking and walking Christian men's ministry where they're devoted to breaking down the walls of race and denomination and challenging men to take their God-assigned role. Here's our hosts Will Hardy and Roy Jones Jr., a black guy and a white guy. Welcome, welcome once again to Man Talk Radio, and we have a very interesting subject on today. I'm Will Hardy.

And I'm Roy Jones. And we're here to talk about today, the men, sex, and living together. The single man. What is it that the single man is looking for out there in society?

What type of challenges the single man is facing? Good point, Will. And I think that list goes on and on and on, does it not?

It does. You know, I think most of us have come through that generation where we felt like the number of conquests that were achieved was a mark of manhood. But once you start walking with the Lord, you see what real manhood is about.

It's actually exactly the opposite of the number of conquests. You need to hold yourself for that number one conquest once you're married. You know, and that's a good point too, Roy, because see, what men I think forget about, especially the man who was born again. And that's who we're talking to today, that man who was born again. If you're born again and you are single or you are married, because we're focusing on the single man today, that your life is being represented the best possible way for the kingdom of God. And so that's why we're here talking about this subject.

Yeah, that's a good point. And the piece about being married, if you think about our role as a husband and a father, you can start instilling these principles much, much younger these days because the kids are learning and the children are learning about things way before we ever did. Video games, they have Internet and all of those things have a tendency to pull that young man or that young woman away from sound biblical doctrine.

Yes. And we've talked many times in our breakfast meetings and also in our events that, you know, the greatest tool that's out there right now in Satan's tool belt is the is the smartphone because it's typically unmonitored and it's content worldwide that is very unhealthy and unspiritual content. And it certainly lends itself to taking the young man astray and giving them a very unhealthy sense of what God intend to be a very healthy relationship component sex. That's right. God is the one who instituted sex.

The mother and you're going to be united in one flesh with your wife. And see, when men have sex before they're married, what they're doing is they're missing out on that legitimate process that God has established in order for them to have the best possible sex possible. That's right, man.

You can have the best possible sex that you ever had. It's done legitimately and when it's done the right way. Yeah.

In a holy sense, right, Will. And that's interesting enough. We probably had several men just drop their tea glasses, especially with it being a Sunday afternoon. And they're on the way home. They're looking at their wives thinking, can we really get any better than it is?

But of course you can. And for those single men, it is something to look forward to. And I think a large component of this, especially for any man, is the need for immediate satisfaction.

Right. So there's a there's an urge there. So there's a need for immediate satisfaction. So rather than wait for that long term vision of what God intended for it to be, the Satan sitting there tapping on the shoulder, say, hey, it really doesn't matter.

You know, it's OK. Go ahead and do it. That's why God created you. But really, he did indeed create us that way. But it was for the sake of marriage, for the unionization of two people. Right.

To bring two into one and create that anointed soul tie, as we've talked about before. Yeah. Legitimate. You know, I think that's the key word. Legitimate. God is the one. God does everything in his time, but he does it legitimately. Yes. And what we've done, we've taken that legitimate pleasure and we've turned it basically into a institution against God.

Totally unjust. So we've got, I'm sure, a lot of young men out there that are either going to hear the podcast or be listening to this program. What advice for you as a pastor and also a father and a grandfather would you impart upon our young men that are currently listening on how they can work through this trial and temptation and keep themselves holy for their marriage? Well, you know, I mean, we don't need role models. And we we lack role models and we lack accountability partners. So if a young man don't have a role model and he don't have accountability partner, then what he's going to look for, he's going to look for information from the street.

And that's that's the worst place to get information. Right. And today, the street could be defined as literally in the street, hanging out in the street.

Hanging out with his friends or people in school or the street could be the phone, the smartphone, which we know is unfiltered and can certainly be the rawest of raw as it relates to that kind of exposure. Right. Exactly. And when when you make a commitment and I think that's where men fall short is that they don't want to commit to a relationship.

So it comes down to the fact that they want to simply go out and be and have intercourse with as many women as possible as quickly as possible, because when they don't do that, they feel like, well, I'm really not a man if if I haven't had a certain amount of women. That has been instituted literally from our adversary himself. Good point. So I'm sitting here thinking about growing up. You know, we talked to last week's show or two weeks ago show about pornography and the whole impact that has. So growing up, if you don't see or see it modeled as in a healthy relationship with your mother and your father to your point. I think that's a really important part of what God has given you as part of his creation and how to deal with that. And certainly getting in the word with that mentor so that we can look at biblical teachings related to that and why it's a sin to do this ahead of marriage and why it's so blessed when you wait till marriage. Exactly.

Because everyone, everyone fails when it's not done the right way in God's eyes. And so I guess that would lead to a lot of things. The other point to a question is and this is a question, man, you could be thinking about why could engaging in sex before marriage be potentially harmful to a long term relationship? So men, think about that while that question is directed to my co-hosts. If anything that you're engaging in now is pleasurable, you must be prepared to face all of the necessary consequences that follow the decisions that you make. Well, well, that's that's that's profound because I think oftentimes we make decisions without thinking what the consequences or collateral damage are going to be. Right. Exactly.

So that's an excellent question. So what I would first say is that since God created sex for the man and the woman in marriage, that anything outside of that is detrimental in some fashion or form. What comes to mind is what I call and was taught early on. And I notice there is some controversy about that, but it's soul tie. You know, you've made a union with someone outside of marriage and what was intended to be the holiest of holy interaction between a husband and wife. So that and you've done it outside of marriage. So that can become a crutch and basically a bad, strong hold throughout your marriage, because if things aren't quite the same with your spouse that God has blessed you with, then you might be going back to what I shared with you before.

Memory recall. And that's another tool of Satan. Well, you know, and in the same holds true for the ladies. Right.

You know, if you compare your husband to a previous spouse or you compare your your wife to a previous girlfriend or if you've been married before or not, not married before. Right. So this whole memory call and clearing the deck, as we were talking about before, is so important for a healthy relationship. It's not to say that if you've fallen short that God can't restore that. And I think that's what's going to be key about this conversation is that God is capable of restoring anything.

Exactly. So if you've had many conquests in your life and you're now married and you need to get that restored, God can restore that because that and to your point earlier, it could be an amazing, amazing experience once you've cleared your memory, cleared the sinful behavior out of your past. I think God can restore that. No, God can restore that. But, you know, Roy, any time a relationship is built off of just the physical, it's it's doomed and bound to fail. And so when physicalness is just one aspect of the relationship. But if a man is not sound spiritually.

And if he's not sound mentally, then what begins to happen is he begins to see things through the rose colored glasses instead of looking at things the way God would have him to look at them. Yes, yes, yes. He has a lot of tools in his toolbox.

And, you know, he's already a defeated foe. Yeah. Great point, Will.

Great point. Well, man, I hope that you're enjoying the topic. It's where our intent here is to share things that are real world issues for you and I as men and to talk about how we need to handle it and to let you know that your Heavenly Father has got you covered through all this. And doesn't matter where you've been or where you're going.

He can change that and fix all that. And so as we move into the second half of our show here in a few minutes, we just ask that you be contemplating Will's question and talk it over with whoever you're riding with this afternoon. So we'll be back in just a few moments. TAWCMM would love to have you join their community of men for breakfast every first and third Friday of every month. They have Bible discussions and fellowship after the best breakfast in town. The meeting location is at their gracious host church, First Christian Church in Kernersville, 1130 North Main Street in Kernersville. They have a hard start at seven o'clock and a hard stop at eight o'clock. First time visitors eat for free.

Join your host, Will Hardy and Roy Jones Jr., a black guy and a white guy. The U.S. is projected to add 10 million jobs over the next five years. But will today's high school students be ready for the jobs of tomorrow? Text FUTURE to 225-568 to learn more about high school and the future of work. The future of our country is in high school and politicians are deciding the future right now. This is your chance to use your vote to make a positive impact for generations to come. Text FUTURE to 225-568 to learn more from XQ.

Message and data rates may apply. Welcome back. We appreciate you hanging on with us. Will, let's start back up on this second portion of our show today with the question you posed just before break. You know, we we talked about living together and we talked about the man and we talked about how men are not fulfilling their God given roles. And, you know, Roy, before we get to that question, I know there's somebody out there who's saying, Pastor, give me some scriptures. So you want some scriptures? I got some scriptures for you. OK. And we don't have time to look at all these in detail, but First Corinthians, chapter seven, verse number two, Acts 15, verse number 20, First Corinthians chapter five and verse one, First Corinthians six and 13, First Corinthians six and 18, Second Corinthians 12 and 21. So feast on those scriptures.

But I want to come back to First Corinthians chapter two, chapter seven, verse two. And God clearly defines in this particular book, chapter and verse that marriage is in the definition of what God said it is and that sexual immorality is wrong, wrong, wrong. And so let us look at those biblical verses and talk about that. You are condemned by God, but God still want to bless you, even in your sin. And see, there's somebody out there, Roy, right now, they're living in sin and they're wondering, how do I get out of this when God has said that sexual immorality is wrong?

Well, that's a great question, Will. And the first thing that comes to mind is I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me, scripturally speaking. Right. So if I can do all things, it doesn't say, well, you can only do this part. But as it relates to your sexual desires, you can't do it because it's impossible. This is I can do all things through Christ Jesus who strengthens me. So I think oftentimes we as men just need that little reminder. And if it means taping that scripture up in your mirror before you go to bed, if you're living that lifestyle that you say, hey, this is where we're drawing a line saying we're done with this. We're going to live a holy life and we're going to do it the way it was intended to be. And I think oftentimes we lose sight of the long term goal and what the long term vision should be. We're all guilty of that.

We want to immediately want, as we mentioned earlier, we want it now. And I think if we could impart on anyone that we have an opportunity to influence that if we'll just allow God time to work and give him the space to work and truly trust him with everything that we're doing, including the these things that the blessings that will flow through from him are just absolutely amazing. You know, when God says, do you not know that your bodies are the members of Christ? And shall I then make the members of Christ and make them members of a harlot?

So as you were talking about earlier, Roy, that that's so tie when when we have sex illegitimately, this is exactly what we're doing. And see, someone out there may think, you know, these guys are a bit old fashioned. And these what you're talking about is is outdated.

What do you say to somebody who's thinking that? Well, my first question is, is the Bible outdated? Is the word of God updated?

Hallelujah. I think we've all seen everyone that's tried to prove that to be outdated or not true fall. And we know that the Bible is relative. It's current. And if we're following Christ, then it's pretty simple.

It's not outdated. Amen. Amen. And God, he wants the best for us. So, so, man, if you're listening, God wants the best for you.

It is his desire that no man should perish, but all should come into the knowledge of the truth. And see, when you when you are representing God and when you are living for him, there is no other thing out side of living for God that can can build you up in a way to where you become that powerful man that that woman wants to see. She she want to see you taking the lead in that home. She wants to see you doing what God had called you to be. But if you're out here having sex before marriage and you are married or if you're a single man and you out here fornicating before you are married, then you're in that same category.

Yeah, that's that's excellent, Will. I think there's probably several wives that are listening to this today and saying, I hope my husband will embrace this concept because we all know men are visually stimulated. Women are emotionally stimulated. It makes for a much healthier relationship when we recognize as the servant of our wives that we love our wives unconditionally as Christ loved the church, which means it needs to be about her and her needs and how we satisfy that. And I'm not talking just in a sexual sense.

I mean, her overall needs, the emotional support, the physical support of being there and present and being mentally connected to them as well. So, you know, I've been married quite a few years and will you celebrate a lot of years before God called your wife home? So we understand that. And if we can impart a little bit this to these young men and the older men to get them to kind of change their ways, I think it'll be a successful day, at least a successful half hour with them. But it's one of those things that if we don't practice it, it'll never get any better. If we accept that low performance is OK in terms of not trying to make a difference, then it's never going to get any better. And you cannot receive the full blessing that God intended for it to be with you and your spouse if you don't change behavior.

And Roy, I know you play football and I don't know a coach out there who would let you play if you hadn't practiced. Exactly. So practicing what we are saying, it's important because what it does is it shows that you have embraced the change that you want to get. That you want to come to and get out of the situation that you're currently in. So God wants to bring you men to that point to where you can be a strong, resourceful man for your mate. And she, in turn, will come along side and and help you. I remember an old preacher in Mississippi used to say one time, he said, you know, if that man understands his role as a godly man and he is doing everything that he needs to do.

To fulfill God's plan, that woman will follow him to the ends of the earth. Do you believe that, Roy? Oh, I believe it with all my heart. I believe it with all my heart. You know, my wife and I have been married soon to be 34 years and actually just in a few weeks.

A week and a half. I can tell you early on in the marriage, I didn't know what it meant to be a servant leader. And luckily she stood by me while I was trying to find my way. In that respect, I was a very immature husband.

And I think today that that conversation would be quite a bit different if you were to ask her what I was like today versus those years. But it's very true. And it's the old adage, well, if she'll do this, I'll do that problem. Most men have that concept in their mind.

Well, if she'll do this, then I'll be more than happy to do that. Well, did Christ ever say, well, if you as the sinners will go do this, then I'll heal you. No, he just walked up and says, turn from your ways. Amen.

And he performed the various miracles we read about in the Bible. He didn't make it conditional, so we as husbands need to be unconditional in our love and servanthood for our spouses. And you young men should be practicing the discipline, getting ready for the game, as Will just put so nicely, with your dates. Exactly. And abstain from the obvious that we're talking about today.

But start practicing the servant leadership, opening doors, treating her like she's the most important thing to you, and letting her know that you're protecting her and that you'll be that way the rest of your life. And men, don't say to her, if you love me, you'll have sex. Now, you heard that before.

I know Roy. Oh, yeah, yeah. See, if you love me, let's go and have sex.

No, you don't have to do that. And men, if you understand the way of truth, you wouldn't even address that question. You would never pose it. And I would say this to the young ladies. If a young man asks you that, just ask them to drop you off at the next bus stop or the next place that you can catch a shuttle back to your home, if that's the kind of pressure they're putting you on. And then you also should say, and if you love me, you wouldn't ask me for that.

Let me throw another one in here, Roy. Pull up your pants, men. Pull up your pants, okay? No woman wants to be around a guy who's sagging, okay? So if you're sagging, pull up your pants and make yourself presentable. Because, see, God will clean all these things up in your life.

And you can't be running away anywhere with your pants around your ankle. So present yourself in such a way to the woman who you are with so that she can look and see that there is changes occurring in your life. Because if there is no changes, then you just got to leave that man. And Will, you make a good point.

The pants can be translated as anything. Clean up your language, clean up your behavior, clean up how you treat your future spouse, all those things. And that's a great example. With our wills, we're closing out this afternoon. I think it's important that we leave every man and woman out there with hope that our Heavenly Father sent His Son to die for us. And that if anyone's listening to this program and they've not accepted the Lord Jesus in their heart, we just invite you to do that while you're with us today. All you've got to do is be in the center, recognize that Christ died for your sins, and turn to die Himself and start following our Lord Jesus Christ. And there are so many churches out there and there are so many opportunities that churches can present to you as men to come and fellowship with the man.

Yes. Fellowship and hit us up on the website tawcmm.com and we will be there for you to address whatever needs you. As we wrap up today's show, be assured that TAWCMM, Talking and Walking Christian Men's Ministry, is building a community of men that are Christ followers with the desire to be servant leaders in their homes, communities, churches, and work environments. Check out our website for upcoming events and regularly scheduled meetings. Drop us a note for topics that you would like to have us visit in the future. Thank you for joining us on Man Talk today. Visit us at tawcmm.com. Men walking the talk.