Restoring Biblical Manhood

This is the Truth Network. Welcome to Man Talk, brought to you by TAWCMM, talking and walking Christian men's ministry, where they're devoted to breaking down the walls of race and denomination and challenging men to take their God-assigned role. Here's our hosts, Will Hardy and Roy Jones Jr., a black guy and a white guy.

Welcome everyone to Man Talk Radio. I'm Will Hardy, the black guy. And I'm Roy Jones, the white guy. And we have two guests in the studio with us, Roy, today. We have Rick McGee with Kids Outdoor Zone, and we have Randy Wilson with the Family Research Council. And we just want to talk about things and what they're doing and all of the things that's involved around the Kids Zone and the Family Research Council. Yeah, it's a great lead-in, Will. We're getting ready for our Men's Summit, but at the time of this airing, it will have already occurred, so we're letting a little secret in there we probably shouldn't tell you. But these gentlemen are visiting with us for our Men's Summit 2020.

And one of the key topics is restoring biblical manhood, which as all of us know is first serving the Father, second being the Father, and third being the husband to the wife if you're married. But being the Father is the piece that we'll talk about with Rick and excited to hear about what Kids Outdoor Zone is about and how TJ started the ministry several years ago and even in his own life story and what it's done with Rick and his team. And we're so pleased to have Randy here. Randy and I met last year as getting ready for this project. So Randy, thank you for joining us. Rick, glad you're here with us tonight. Great to be here.

Thanks. Well, why don't we lead off, Rick? Why don't you just give us a little bit of background about Kids Outdoor Zone, and then we'll pick up some questions from there. And Randy, feel free to jump in with questions, and then we'll flip over to a little bit of the topic on Family Research Council and the men's ministry that Randy's working with. Yeah, thanks a lot, guys.

It's great to be here. Kids Outdoor Zone was birthed in Austin, Texas, and it was the product or story that came out of Houston. TJ Graney is the founder. And in the eighth grade, 13 years old, he found himself homeless. His dad took a bottle of Jim Bean and left the family. And his mom needed to minister to and take care of the rest of his siblings and that were younger.

And TJ just decided that he wouldn't want to move back to, I think it was Alabama or Illinois that she moved to. And so he found himself homeless in the eighth grade and through a lot of, if you can imagine, trials and tribulation, alcohol, drugs, addictions through life, he was rescued by our Heavenly Father. He got saved by a family that took him in by Jesus Christ, being introduced by a family that took him in. And I will give you all the details of the story, but he fathered a child that took him to Austin. And so he was not going to let that boy be raised without a dad.

No, he didn't raise God. He just stepped into that heart and met his wife Sandra, had two more children. And he just decided I need to go to church and walk this faith out that I have. And just a beautiful story. He's got a book he finally wrote of his biography, Year 13 is what it's called. It's available on Amazon and it's a great read.

On our website as well, kidsoutdoors.com. But that journey took him down the path of realizing the power of mentoring boys. His childhood helped him see the power of the outdoors. And he found men in the church that had blue jeans and boots on and were willing to get their hands dirty and had gloves in the front seat of the crib.

Just those kind of guys. But sometimes unengaged, uninitiated by the church. So he was teaching a Sunday school class. It grew to be the largest class because he would teach the little principal and he would take them outside the rest of Sunday morning. He got fussed at for some dirty knees.

But the parents saw the kids loving him and he loved them. He said, boys y'all want to go fishing next week? And they said of course. 20 boys raised their hands. So he said, oh my, I got to figure out how to do this. So he walked in and sure enough he found a couple of his buddies sitting on the back row when he went to church and he said, guys I need some help. I'm going to take some boys fishing next week and y'all want to go fishing. And they had 30 something boys, 10 or 12 guys.

Some of them said it was the best day. Boys were just taking it in. Men felt like they were making a difference in a boy's life.

T.J. got real intentional and brought around that. Some programming. And again the book spells that out incredibly well.

A one year job with sports academy or academy sports. And him out of the picture and writing curriculum for the men and then God folded it all back together beautifully. And then birthing it, he was looking for what God wanted to do with it and he launched it in Lynchburg, Virginia in 2013 at a conference. He said, so God do you want to do this at a conference? So he took it to a conference and had I think 120 men sign up for my information. I was one of those guys and six and a half years ago we started our kids outdoors.

Oh wow. So you've been out quite some time. And we've just seen transformation happen. What happened with his group, I mean his group what started to happen was he started sharing the gospel, being intentional. Many of these boys without dads, some of them not even church. And boys started getting saved. Well T.J. didn't have a religious background, a church background, so he just, you just accepted Christ.

Well come on. They just went into the pond and got baptized. He just took it straight out of Matthew and just started baptizing boys and they would do fishing camps on the coast down in Houston and boys would get saved and he'd just baptize them. And a lot of these boys would be coming from broken homes. Yeah, I was getting ready to ask you Rick is that, would you say, and I know you've got ministries across the U.S. and I think in some other countries if I remember correctly. So if you were to give me the demographics of the population of the boys that are involved, are most of them without fathers or they were fathers that just aren't engaged, what's the demographics of your?

Sure, we don't require a lot of note taken and record processing back to us. What we hear in conversation is usually a little over half are fatherless. You know what's amazing to me, and you guys will know more about this than I will, but the statistics right now, 40% of our kids right now are growing up in a fatherless home.

Man, it's staggering. If you just grab a bunch of kids, you're going to get some fatherless. Yeah, yeah. Right? By those ratios, four out of ten will certainly be without a father.

Right. We've got some statistics we use that have been published and these are getting kind of dated, so I'm guessing it's getting worse. But 85% of all children that exhibit behavioral disorders are fatherless. 90% of all homeless and runaway children are fatherless. 71% of high school dropouts are fatherless.

Oh my. 63% of youth suicide is from a fatherless home. 80% of rape, rapists are fatherless. It's a displaced anger issue, right?

70% of juveniles are state-operated institutions. Fatherlessness is just this huge thing that's happening in our culture, and I'm afraid it's incubating on itself another generation of fatherlessness. And it's moving into, I mean, if this were a disease, we might even want to call it a pandemic. Yes. And what we found, at least in our ministry, and I'm sure in others, that the men of the church are beautifully equipped to step into this. You don't have to be a theologian to take a boy fishing.

Not at all. And all you have to have is a relationship with Jesus Christ, or at least even know about him, to share your story with a boy. But therein lies the challenge, right? We've got to get men stepping off the sidelines, as we were talking earlier, and that men, if you're listening to the program, that's what we've been all about, is trying to get you off the sidelines and get you engaged. And that's the problem. And we go back to the statistics. We've shared this before.

The statistics, speaking at church level, most church populations across the U.S. at least, 60%, 62% are women, made up of women, 38% to 40% are men. And then if you take that piece of the men that aren't active and are just sitting on the sidelines, then you've got an even smaller ratio of opportunity for servants to come alongside these young men, right? And they so desperately need it. They do. They really do. And what we find, too, is that men need it. Well, that's the unknown or the hidden benefit, right, is that when the men start engaging, then the onion starts to get peeled back.

It does. And the tenderness that God has hard-coded us with starts to surface. And we still can be that warrior, but we can still be that loving man that loves another man in the biblical sense and loves some of these children, especially the fatherless children. Darrell Bock Guys really laid it on T.J.'s heart, my heart, to make this, make ministry as simple as possible. You don't have to have it all figured out. A boy doesn't need a man who has it all figured out.

And that could be spiritually and in life. You can sometimes just tell them what you know not to do. And so we've made it as simple as possible. We provide all the training. And you do it as a group of men in your church. If a church wants to start a club, we provide all the training and we provide all the curriculum.

We just want those men focused on the relationship with those boys. And so you certainly can provide your own devotion in the morning before you take them fishing. That's up to you.

But you don't have to. We've got one provided for you in the curriculum. And then we have the process of how you tie it all back together when you cook them a hot dog or a hamburger before you send them off at one o'clock when you break. Darrell Bock Well, it sounds like a great opportunity, man, if you're listening. And we'll have more information on our website.

We're going to put a link to Kids Outdoor Zone on our website, talkm.com, and also have their contact information. I'm sure Rick will be more than happy to come talk to you. He's here in Virginia, so he's close and local. So let's transition for just a moment over to Randy, because these two go hand in hand. Randy's part of the Stand Courageous movement with the Family Research Council and also the head of the director of men's ministry at the Family Research Council. So Randy, I can see you shaking your head as we're going through this and acknowledging. You're seeing this at the man level, right, at the adult level, and what's going on in the complacency across the U.S. within the walk of Christ. And the guys are in church, and the guys aren't in church.

And as we were talking earlier about, they're just disengaged. And why don't you share a little bit about what your role is at Family Research Council and kind of how Family Research Council has seen the need to stand up the Stand Courageous events and so forth. Yeah, our vision at the Family Research Council, started back in 1982, is to see a prevailing culture in which all human life is valued, families flourish, and religious liberty thrives. That's what drives us day in and day out. And to come across the stats, Family Research Council, that you just shared, Rick, hits us right between the eyes. And that's what got Tony's attention particularly.

General Boykin came on. I tell you, Tony, if you could hold that thought, we're coming up on a break right now, and we're going to pick that up next time. We thank you for listening to ManTalk Radio, and be back with us shortly.

We'll be right back. Transcribed by https://otter.ai Care for auto accident injury patients with no out-of-pocket expense. Remember, affordable chiropractic on West Lexington Avenue in High Point. Call 336-885-1987. And before the break, Randy was talking about things in reference to the Family Research Council, so we want to pick up those thoughts again.

Yeah, thanks, Will. Rick, while you were sharing those stats and the research we've done, we're running across the same thing, and the crisis is in our face. So what we've seen, God allowed William � Jerry Boykin to come on staff as the Executive Vice President.

Tony Perkins is the President. But he brings a whole different story to the equation. And he's been talking to men for a number of years, just talking to them about not only his testimony, being in one of the original Delta and all the battles he's been in, and then just seeing men respond to different situations firsthand, and then coming into culture outside the military world.

It is that, a brand-new world. And so in talking to men across the country, sharing his story, but then calling men. And what got Tony's attention, and General's been seeing this for a while as well, is when the call was made for men to come and repent and clear the table and start afresh, then they responded.

Because we've talked about this at dinner. Men need to be told really what to do. They want to be told what to do. I think that's why they thrive so much in the military, is because they're given direct orders.

And when they're given direct orders, they can understand that, and they can nail it. It's a little ambiguous at home. It's a little subjective at home. Hey, you're the husband. You're the man of the house. You're supposed to do this to treat your wife. You're supposed to treat your children. And all this is coming at them.

And there really hasn't been any foundational teaching there, because of this issue of fatherlessness as well. And so they're scrambling. And men don't like to fail. Well, I don't anyway.

I hate failing. And so they tend to back away. And when the men back away, our women are survivors, right? They step in. And over the last several decades, this whole thing has shifted.

You look back at World War II and the 20 to 25-year-olds who fought and won the war on two different theater fronts are a whole different animal these days. And so what we do is we bring a message that calls them to five principles of man that we see in the Bible, biblical masculinity. And so what is it like to be a defender? What does that mean biblically? What does it mean to be a provider?

Not in a financial sense. We talk about all the ways that we can provide, just even by our presence. Our presence is so needed. That's why the impact of fatherlessness is so negative on our children because they need that father's presence.

And then the affirmation that comes from them as well. And we all need a battle buddy. Men don't do well alone in isolation. So we need – and they're assigned in the military. General Boykin talks about this. They're assigned a battle buddy.

And they're charged to cover the other six in dangerous situations. And so we need this out in the real world as well. And then as the chaplain of the home, as the instructor of the home, and we walk through these five principles. And we give them tangible things they can get their hands on. And then direction as to, okay, here's a Bible reading that you can do every day. And we bring with it two questions at the end of that Bible reading.

So a man can step, take that. He can either read it or listen to it with his family, ask the questions, have a discussion there, and then pray. So we give them something to do that's quite easy, takes 15 minutes, and they grow into that. They gain confidence into that, especially when the wife who's been praying for her husband to take the lead spiritually, to pray, to read the scriptures to her and the children. He sees that I can do this. And then the encouragement comes, as I said, and they grow into that.

So the neediness of men out there is overwhelming today. And they are looking. When they hear the truth, which is their native language, based on who God created them to be, Genesis 15.3, the Lord is a warrior. And when they're told and explained that this is who you are, Jesus Christ in Revelation is coming back on a horse with a sword to his side, and he is fit for battle. That's who we are created to be.

But how does that look in the everyday world? And we walk that out with them. You see, Ron Johnson said that when men stand on the sidelines with hands in pocket and faces downcast in shame, as Adam once did, all good things die.

And once gone, they're almost gone forever. So what is this whole shame? We could talk about this shame.

You guys know what shame is in a man's life. It's when you're walking away from God. You're not walking with God. The enemy comes in, and you stumble, and you fall, and you're drawn to all these things that intuitively you know is wrong.

And if you don't engage Jesus Christ, our Redeemer, then the enemy has all kinds of open doors to put his shame on you. And then you don't feel worthy. And then you don't lead. You don't reach out.

You don't communicate. And that's where you end up is on the sidelines, face down, because you can't look anybody in the eyes because of the shame that's covering you. And you know, just because you fall doesn't mean you're a failure. It means you need to just get up. You know, get up and get back in the race.

Because it's a marathon, not a sprint. Well, look at David. Look at the example of David, right?

He fell about as far as he can fall, right? Committed adultery and murder all in the same scene or within the Bible or in his story. If he can be restored, any man listening can be restored. And you know, I talk about this scripture all the time, Proverbs 25 and verse 28. And it says, He who does not have rule over his own spirit is like a city without walls broken down. So, you know, we don't have to walk around with the Pharisee spirit, so to speak. You know, we are men who, once we understand what we need to do as men, and we get that information that Randy was just speaking about, you know, we were talking about this that over dinner.

I'm the type of guy who wants to follow up with you. Now I want to know how has that information changed your life? What are you doing with it to make it come alive and active so that men can see Christ in you? And they want some of that fruit that you're exhibiting, you know, as Galatians chapter 5 verses 22 and 23 says, you know, the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, meekness, gentleness, faith, and self-control.

And there is no law, when you're doing these, there is no law that can challenge this, none, because God said there is no law. Well, Will, what you do is you're giving time, you're giving place to ask a question of a man and then you give time to listen. Who has time to listen these days? Men have stuff to talk about and to say.

They want to unload this heavy burden. And so that's what we can – this is really so easy if I can say that. If we will just offer our time and ask a question and let a man unload, he will find the answers in his unloading and his answering of that question. God will lead, guide, and direct him where he needs to go. You know, God has given each of us – we talk to men – a place to stand that is not on the sidelines and it's not covered in shame. He has given us a redeemer, Jesus Christ. He has given us men all that we need.

Now we must take it because of God before us who will stand against us. This truth that goes out and doesn't return void. It goes out and it resonates and the Holy Spirit uses this truth.

The truth about who we are is men. And then there's this counseling and instructing that goes on in the night watches and through the day. And God will enlighten him and he will show the man things to pay attention to and he will be guided in the way that he needs to go. Well, one of the things that resonates with me as I'm listening to everybody is time. First, you've got to set aside time to do these very things.

If you're the person who needs to unload, then you need to set aside time to marry up with a brother that can listen. And the second piece is the brothers that are out here walking strong don't need to be too tied down with busy work, whether it's within the church or outside the church. They've got to find time about what the whole mission was about and that was to make disciples of all the nations. So if we'll do those things and then Randy General is going to talk about it this weekend is one of the main distractions with men these days is gaming. That second two, we all know what the first one is, pornography on the phones and everything else.

So those two things are Satan's greatest tools right now to use. And one other thing I want to build on with you, Randy, is that if a person feels led and open enough to open their heart up with you, then you need to protect that information. You need to protect what they've just shared with you. That needs to be between you and your brother.

As Randy put it, the battle buddy. So you need to have your brother's back so that that information doesn't go between the two of you and God and you help him and coach him through whatever struggle he's having because if that information gets out, you could lose a brother for a lifetime and the kingdom could lose a man that says, hey, if this is what it's all about, I don't want to be a part of this. So those are really key factors as we move out through this process. So one of the other things, too, that I think if you're hearing and listening, you've got a group of men here that are very passionate about serving other men and also serving children. So men, if you're listening, we're expecting you to get off the sidelines. We're challenging you today to get off the sidelines, to get involved in your church and local body and to also get engaged with these children's lives. We know a lot of you listening probably have got children that you've got sitting on the sidelines that you're not investing in. And we're challenging you today to do something about that. So Roy, how do people come to Christ?

Hey, man, if you're listening or anyone listening to the show, we make it real simple. Christ died for you. Just acknowledge your sinner, confess your sins, ask him into your heart, turn to repent, start following the Lord and get into a body fellowship.

It's that simple and get baptized at your local place of worship. Well, we're going to be coming back with these two men on next week's show. So we just thank God for the opportunity to have Rick and Randy and of course, always Roy in the studio. Likewise, brother. I like my black brother. It's always good to have you on here.

Because God is so good. So join us again next time, Man Talk Radio. As we wrap up today's show, be assured that TAWCMM, Talking and Walking Christian Men's Ministry is building a community of men that are Christ followers with a desire to be servant leaders in their homes, communities, churches and work environments. Check out our website for upcoming events and regularly scheduled meetings. Drop us a note for topics that you would like to have us visit in the future. Thank you for joining us on Man Talk today. Visit us at www.tawcmm.com. Men walking the talk.