Winning the Battle for the Home

Known for his unique ability to simplify profound truth so that it can be applied to everyday life, Adrian Rogers was one of the most effective preachers, respected Bible teachers, and Christian leaders of our time. Thanks for joining us for this message.

Here's Adrian Rogers. Matthew chapter 5, we're going to read verses 27 and 28. The title of our message today is, Winning the Battle for the Home. A war has been waged on homes, and we are at a crisis point, and never have I dealt with a more pertinent scripture than the scripture we have today. Jesus said, You have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery, but I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her, hath committed adultery with her already in his heart, in his heart. We are in a crisis that deals with the matter of moral purity and the sanctity of the home. And I don't mind telling you that my heart is broken.

It seems as though a sewer pipe has broken. And I was thinking about that passage of scripture in Ezra chapter 9 and verse 6, where Ezra said, Oh my God, I am ashamed and blush to lift up my face to thee, my God, for our iniquities have increased over our head and our trespass is grown up unto the heavens. Ezra said, Oh God, I'm ashamed even to look into your face because of the sin of my nation. He said, Oh my God, I blush.

And thank God that he could blush. Many people in America have become a generation of unblushables. When I'm talking about sexual morals, I'm not just talking to you about a thing of niceties. I'm not just talking to you about a matter of manners.

I'm not just talking to you about something that deals with taste. I'm talking to you about something that is at war against the basic unit, the fabric of our society. God built the home before he instituted government and before he built the church and God's plan is one man for one woman until death do them part in a monogamous marriage. And the Bible says in Genesis chapter 2 and verse 24, therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother and shall cleave unto his wife and they shall be one flesh. My dear friend, that is God's eternal plan. And that's why the Lord Jesus Christ clearly said without equivocation, stutter, stammer, thou shalt not commit adultery. But the devil, the devil has aimed the artillery of hell against your family, against your home, against my family, against our homes, because the devil knows that if he can hurt us at home, he can hurt us all over. Satan's plan has always been number one, to deny God as to a mere superstition. And once he's denied God, he wants to debase man and make man a mere animal. And if there is no God, and if man is the product of blind evolution, it follows one, two, three, you deny God, you debase man. Then my dear friend, you deny morals.

There is no fixed standard of right and wrong. And after you have done that, you destroy the home. And after you've done that, you dominate society. And Satan is well on his way. Nothing tears at the fabric of society any more than sexual immorality, moral impurity.

Gibbons who wrote The Rise and Fall of the Roman Empire and gave those reasons for The Rise and Fall of the Roman Empire put at the very top of his list of reasons, the breakdown of the home through sexual and moral impurity. It is a known sociological fact that those who treat sex lightly will treat other human beings lightly. With that in mind, having looked at this passage here in Matthew chapter five, I want you to go now to the Old Testament. And I want you to turn to the book of Proverbs. And in the book of Proverbs, I want to give you five factors, five factors that will help you to build and maintain moral purity and to keep your home as it ought to be. And I pray, God, that the Holy Spirit will emblazon these truths upon your heart, will etch them into your consciousness and cause them to reverberate through your soul.

Here are five factors for the maintenance of sexual purity and therefore the building of a strong family. Five things that I want you to remember. I want every father to write these things down. I want every mother to remember these things. I want every teenager to listen carefully.

Number one, you need to remember the instruction factor, the instruction factor, and learn godly wisdom. Look in Proverbs chapter five, verses one and two. My son, attend unto my wisdom and bow thine ear to my understanding that thou mayest regard discretion and that thy lips may keep knowledge. Now, all of this is in the context of sexual purity. We often hear the statement, what you don't know can't hurt you.

Very frankly, that's stupid. What you don't know may kill you. And we have families that are failing primarily for a lack of wisdom, discretion, understanding, and knowledge. And where, my dear friend, are we going to learn? Are we going to learn at the university from the professor of sociology who teaches humanistic hogwash in the halls of higher learning?

Are we going to learn from the rantings of the baby butchers called Planned Parenthood? Is that where we're going to learn? Where are we going to learn? Are we going to learn from the money-grabbing moguls of dirt for profit in Hollywood? Are these the ones who are going to teach us?

Where are we going to learn? God is saying here in Proverbs chapter one that we are to bow our ear to God's understanding. God has a way. God has a plan. Listen to Proverbs chapter six and verse 32.

Turn to that and look at it. But whoso committeth adultery with a woman lacketh understanding. Do you know what that says? It says, my dear friend, that immorality is stupid. Whoso committeth adultery with a woman lacketh understanding. You just simply do not know. He that doeth it destroyeth his own soul.

A wound in dishonor shall he get, and his reproach shall not be wiped away. Now the very first thing, my dear friend, is the instruction factor. You need to be instructed.

You need to learn. And we need to teach in our churches today with no uncertain sound. We have social engineers today who've put the Bible out of school.

They put sex education and condoms and birth control and abortion without parental consent into school. We've taken the Ten Commandments down from the walls and put policemen in the halls. Where are we going to learn? My dear friend, God has given us a book. God has given us an instruction manual. And the very first factor, my dear friend, is the instruction factor. We need to learn godly wisdom. My son, attend unto my wisdom and bow down thine ear to my understanding, that thou mayest regard discretion and that thy lips may keep knowledge. And so the very first factor is the instruction factor. You need to learn godly wisdom.

The second factor that you need to be aware of is the deception factor, just the opposite of the instruction factor. Remember the deception factor and beware of Satan's snares. Now continue to read in verse three. Proverbs 5, 3, for the lips of a strange woman drop as an honeycomb and her mouth is smoother than oil. But her end is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two-edged sword. Her feet go down to death. Her steps take hold on hell. Lest thou shouldst ponder the path of life.

Her ways are movable that thou canst not know them. And here he's talking about satanic deception. He's talking here about the ways of Satan to ruin your life.

And he talks about a immoral woman. Satan is too clever to go fishing without any bait on his hook. And so like any fisherman, Satan deceives, first of all, with allurement and then entrapment and then enslavement. Now notice what Satan does.

Notice his fatal trap. Look first of all in verse three. For the lips of a strange woman drop as a honeycomb.

Now what's he talking about there? Her lips are sweeter than honey. Old honey lips, that's her name.

That's what we call her. The sweetness just flows out. I mean, it seems so wonderful. Immorality to so many people seems so good.

I was talking to a man and he said to me as he was living this kind of a life, he said, how could anything so wonderful as this be wrong? The Bible says the bread of deceit is sweet, but afterward a man's mouth shall be filled with gravel. First of all, there's this frivolity, this fun, this rush, this thrill. Here she is, she's honey lips. And then not only is there that frivolity, there's that flattery. Look, if you were in the last part of verse three, her mouth is smoother than oil.

She knows how to give him the come hither. And of course, if Solomon had been talking to a daughter, he would talk about the man and his line, the flattery. Many people are very susceptible to flattery.

A little flattery now and then makes big fools of little men. This is the reason that you need a quiet time. This is the reason that in the morning, you need to spend time with God, mister, before you go to work. Look, if you will, in Proverbs six, verse 23, look at it. For the commandment is a lamp, and the law is light, and reproofs of instruction are the way of life, to keep thee from the evil woman, and from the flattery of the tongue of a strange woman. There is nothing, sir, that will protect you more from immorality, from the flirtation of that woman that works next to you, than to load up in the morning early with the word of God, to go out of your house with the word of God in your heart.

Listen to it again. For the commandment is a lamp, and the law is light, and reproofs of instruction are the way of life, to keep thee from the evil woman, and from the flattery of the tongue of a strange woman. Now, every now and then, we hear about some man, sometimes even a minister, a preacher, somebody who fell, and they say, oh, isn't that terrible?

Maybe a deacon, maybe a church worker. They say, isn't that terrible? Look how far he fell. Well, friend, you may not know how low he was living. He didn't fall that far. He had failed to keep himself in the word of God and to be loading up and storing up the word of God. First of all, there's that frivolity, old honey lips.

Then there's that flattery. Her mouth is smoother than oil, but there is that fatality. Look in verses four and five. But her end is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two-edged sword. Her feet go down to death. Her steps take hold on hell. What a deadly power this sin has.

Nothing is more destructive. Sin fascinates, and then it assassinates. It thrills, and then it kills. Her steps take hold on hell.

It brings death, death to youth, joy, purity, happiness, death to the home, spiritual death, physical death, eternal death. Oh, my dear friend, there is the instruction factor, learned godly wisdom. There is the deception factor, beware of devilish snares. Here's the third factor.

It is the protection factor and avoid dangerous situations. Proverbs chapter five, verses seven and eight, look at it. Hear me now, therefore, O ye children, and depart not from the words of my mouth. Remove thy way far from her, and come not nigh the door of her house. You say, well, I don't think that I have to worry about that.

My dear friend, Oswald Chambers has said a long time ago, an unguarded strength is a double weakness. And the Bible says, let him that thinketh he standeth take heed, lest he fall. Now, this sexual immorality, this is not a sin that we're told to fight. It's a sin that we're told to flee. Look in verse eight, remove thy way far from her and come not nigh the door of her house.

Don't even walk past her house. Second Timothy chapter two and verse 22, flee also youthful lusts. Flee, the Bible says.

Be a coward. Again, 1 Corinthians six, verse 18, flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body, but he that commiteth fornication, sinneth against his own body. Flee fornication. Flee youthful lusts.

Don't even come near her house. The Bible says, there has no temptation taken you, but such as is common to man. And God is faithful who will not suffer you to be tempted above that you're able, but will with the temptation make a way to escape. And my dear friend, often the way to escape is two legs, the King's highway and a hard run. You just get out of there. You saturate that place with your absence. You don't hang around those kinds of places. You don't hang around that kind of literature. You don't go to those kind of movies. You don't do it.

You just simply don't do it. Joseph in the Bible was a holy man. There was a woman who wanted to seduce Joseph. It was Mrs. Potiphar, Potiphar's wife. Joseph was like a servant in the house. Mrs. Potiphar tried to entice Joseph to come to bed with her. And Joseph, when he realized what was happening, he began to leave the room.

She reached out and took hold of his garment. And he left his coat there and fled. And he's still holy. He's still pure. Now, some people might laugh at him and call him Holy Joe, but he is holy. I thank God for that. I know some stupid people.

And yes, I'm going to use the word stupid. Some of them who call themselves Christian counselors and pastors and leaders and so forth who would have said, now, Mrs. Potiphar, you ought not to act this way unless you and I kneel down by the bed and pray about this. Joseph didn't do that. Joseph did not begin to fight this temptation. He fled. Flee youthful lusts. I know what the temptation of the flesh is.

I'm a man. But I thank God that I went to the marriage altar of virgin. When I was in college, I had this motto on my desk.

He who would not fall down ought not to walk in slippery places. Flee. Flee fornication.

That's what the Bible says. The Bible says, don't even come near her house. Don't even come near that company. Just get away. Let me give you men, businessmen, ministers, deacons, and others some rules. Never visit the opposite sex alone at their home. Don't do it. Never counsel with the opposite sex alone in your office. Never go to lunch alone with the opposite sex. There's no reason to do it. You don't have to do it.

Don't do it. Never discuss detailed sexual problems with the opposite sex. Don't playfully or good naturedly flirt with the opposite sex. Don't say little cute things like, why don't you leave that guy you're married to and come run away with me?

You may think it's funny, but my dear friend, it plants a seed in the mind that Satan wants to water and cultivate. You don't have to call that waitress sweetheart. Call your wife sweetheart.

You don't have to call that waitress darling or dear. Save those words for your wife. Be careful what you put in your mind. As a matter of fact, you remember the instruction factor. You remember the deception factor.

Remember the protection factor. Just simply flee fornication. And then in order to help you to do that, you need to remember the destruction factor, the destruction factor, and consider the deadly consequences. What are the consequences of immorality? Why does God say that it is stupid? You say it's the end thing to do. God says it is stupid. You lack understanding. Let me give you some reasons.

Well, first of all, there's dissipation. Look, if you will, in verses 9 and 10. He says, don't come near the door of our house, lest thou give thine honor unto others and thy years unto the cruel. Lest strangers be filled with thy wealth and thy labors be in the house of a stranger. Now sin is costly. Sin does not pay.

It costs. I think of a man in this city that I knew and loved well. He was a dear friend, professional man.

He had one of the most beautiful homes in this city, one of the finest families in this city. He professed to be a Christian, but he worked side by side with a beautiful woman. Before long, those threads of flirtation began to be woven into a cord and then a chain of bondage. And this man got into deep sin and immorality. It broke my heart to stand by to do all that I could do, but I could not stop this man. Today that man has lost his business. Today that man has lost his family. Today that man has lost his home. Today that man has lost his reputation. He has lost his children. It breaks my heart.

I know of ministers who bought a tombstone for their ministry, and I know businessmen who have absolutely ruined their career. What a colossal waste. That's what God is saying.

First of all, there is dissipation. Verse nine, you give your honor unto others and your years unto the cruel, but not only is there dissipation, there is disease. Look, if you will now in verse 11, and thou mourn at the last when thy flesh and thy body are consumed. You're saying, is AIDS the judgment of God?

It is the consequence of sin. But my dear friend, I have an announcement, and I would to God I could get on ABC, CBS and NBC and CNN and tell the world I have the answer to the AIDS epidemic. I have the answer. I, Adrian Rogers, I have the answer. And you guys in the laboratory and you guys at the White House and all of you social engineers, I have the answer.

Just live by this book. That's it. I mean, they're running around saying, what is the answer? What is the answer? I'll tell you the answer.

One man for one woman till death do them part. That's the answer. You say, well, that's too simple. Yes, but it is God's word and God says, and you will mourn at the last when your flesh and your body are consumed.

First of all, there's dissipation. Secondly, there's disease. Thirdly, there's disappointment. Look, if you will, in verses 12 through 13, and you'll say, how have I hated instruction? And my heart despised reproof, and I am not obeyed the voice of my teachers nor inclined mine ear to them that instructed me. One of these days, there'll be some of you sitting in this place today who say, why didn't I listen to the pastor?

Why did I not listen to the word of God? My dear friend, you were going to be so disappointed. You're going to live the life. You're going to say, this is the way to joy. This is the way to happiness. This is the way to fulfillment, but it is not. The living Bible translates this verse this way.

Oh, if I had only listened, why wouldn't I take advice? People say, this is what liberates. It doesn't liberate. Satan offers high wages, but he pays in counterfeit money. And there is that disappointment. You get what you want.

You're not going to want what you get. And then number four, there's disgrace. Look, if you will, in verse 14, I was almost in all evil in the midst of the congregation and assembly.

What does that mean in plain English? The living Bible says, for now I must face public disgrace. You can only hide it so long. One of these days, sir, God is going to expose you. One of these days, young lady, your sin is going to be made known if not here at the final judgment. For Luke chapter 12 and verse two says, for there's nothing covered that shall not be revealed, neither hid that shall not be known.

What a disgrace that's going to be. Your wife, your children, your parents, your pastor, your friends will know. You will not be able to hide this sin. You may be hiding it now, but sooner or later it will be made known. That's what verse 14 is talking about.

I remember reading about a newspaper that had this motto, if you don't want it printed, don't let it happen. My dear friend, if you do not want this known, then repent of it and be done with it or never get into it because there is that disgrace. And then number five, not only is there that disgrace, there's that dominion. Look, if you will, in verse 22, and he goes on to say his own iniquities shall take the wicked himself and he shall be holding with the cords of his sin. I don't know of any other sin that enslaves like the sin of immorality.

There is a dominion. A person is entrapped by this sin. I have in my counseling dealt with those who've been living a life of immorality. I would sit down and pray and I would say, son, do you see this is wrong?

I'm thinking of one fine young man that I dealt with. Son, do you see this is wrong? Yes, sir. Do you realize that God loves you? Yes, sir. Do you know that God wants the best for you? Yes. Don't you want the best for your wife and children? Yes, I do.

Don't you think that God has the power to deliver you? Yes, sir. I do. Don't you want to repent of this sin and go and make it right with your wife and ask her to forgive you and let me counsel with her and see if we can get yes, sir. I do.

I do. We get on our knees. He cries. He weeps. He prays. He says, Oh, God, I want you to forgive me. I want you to cleanse me.

I want you to help me. He leaves the office and I lift my hands to God and say, Oh, thank you, God. Praise the Lord. Thank you for another victory. And then two or three months later, I hear he's back with that same woman, back living in that sin and finally that home is broken.

My heart is crushed. I say, Oh, God. Oh, God, we prayed. Oh, God, he said he wanted help. But I think of the chains, the bondage of this sin.

I'm not saying there is no help. And I'm not saying that you cannot set yourself free. But I'm telling you, my dear friend, every other sin that a man commits is without the body. He that commits adultery and fornication sins against his own body.

And there is a bondage there. And the Bible says, my dear friend, there is that dominion of this sin. His own iniquities shall take the wicked himself and he shall be holding with the cords of his sins.

The very chain that he has forged is the very chain that will bind him. But not only is there dominion, there is death. Look, if you will, in verse 23, he shall die without instruction. There is moral death. There is spiritual death.

There is eternal death. And the warm flames of lust will turn to the fiery flames of hell. You think that you can live this way and strut into heaven.

I am telling you, my dear friend, you're going to go straight to hell. Listen to 1 Corinthians chapter six and verse nine. Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived, neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, that means homosexuals, nor abusers of themselves with mankind shall inherit the kingdom of heaven. God says that.

I didn't say that. You take 1 Corinthians chapter six and verse nine and you read it to God and you say, God, you're wrong. But my dear friend, God is not wrong. If that's your lifestyle, if that's the way you're living, you do not know the grace of God.

You have no right to call yourself a child of God. And you have no hope of heaven unless you're willing to repent and turn from that sin. You say, what about once saved?

Always saved. My dear friend, if you were saved and you lived that way, God would take you to the woodshed and beat the living daylights out of you. You wouldn't be sitting smiling and saying, what a wonderful life I'm living. Either you're headed for the woodshed or you're headed for hell, but you're not headed for heaven. If you can live that way with no conviction, no compunction, no remorse, you do not know the God of this Bible. And God said, hey, don't kid yourself.

Don't be deceived. People who live this way are not going to heaven. You say, can't God forgive? Of course God will forgive. But my dear friend, you cannot hold onto this sin with one hand and hold onto God with the other hand. It cannot be done. Remember the destruction factor.

What is it? Dissipation, disease, disappointment, disgrace, dominion, and death. That's what God says right here. Now here's the fifth and final factor that I want you to remember. The fifth and final factor is the intention factor.

The intention factor. And enjoy God's best. Understand what God has for you. What is God's intention for you? Well, number one, it is a lasting marriage.

Look in chapter 5 and verse 18. Let thy fountain be blessed and rejoice with the wife of thy youth. What is God's best? God's best is one man for one woman till death do them part. I love my wife. I thank God for my darling wife.

I would not trade our Christian home for anything on earth. Sometimes I teasingly say to Joyce, if you ever leave me, I'm going with you. She's mine. She's mine to keep.

And I'm hers to keep. What a lasting marriage the Bible says here. Let thy fountain be blessed and rejoice with the wife of thy youth. The same wife that you had as a young man.

Not only is it a lasting marriage, God's best intention is a loving marriage. Look in verse 19. Let her be as the loving hind in pleasant row. Let her breast satisfy thee at all times and be thou ravished always with her love.

Oh, my dear friend, listen. Listen, don't get the idea that if you live according to God's law, you're going to miss out. The problem is if you don't live according to God's law, you're going to miss out. These kids are talking about going all the way. That's the one thing they don't do.

They don't go all the way. They don't know the fulfillment, the joy of a monogamous marriage, the ravishing love that comes by one man committed to one woman until death do them part. Don't you know that God's laws are for your welfare? God is not some tyrant sitting up there in heaven making a bunch of laws to make you squirm like a worm in hot ashes trying to keep those laws.

God loves you. God's laws are for your welfare. And every time God says thou shalt not, God just simply says don't hurt yourself. And every time God says thou shalt, God is saying help yourself to happiness. And God is not trying to keep sex from you.

He's trying to keep sex for you. It is God's wonderful gift. And that's the reason God says thou shalt not commit adultery. That's the reason that God says flee fornication because God has something so wonderful for you. And God wants you to, my dear friend, to have a lasting marriage. And God wants you to have a loving marriage. Young people, listen to me. Keep yourself pure. Save yourself for the one you're going to marry. You say, well, everybody else is doing it.

Let them do it. You be different. God has something wonderful for you.

You eat your cake now, you'll have a crummy tomorrow. You live by God's laws. You'll be wise. You'll be wise. What is God's best?

A lasting marriage, a loving marriage, a liberating marriage. Verse 22 will not be true about you. His own iniquity shall take the wicked himself, and he shall be holding with the cords of his sins. You see, you're not bound by this. You're free. Free to be all that God wants you to be. Free to be all that you ought to be. You say, well, Pastor Rogers, I've already failed.

Is there hope for me? Absolutely. Oh, my dear friend, where sin abounds, grace does much more abound. If you've committed sin, confess it and God will cleanse you.

The Bible says if we confess our sin, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sin and to cleanse us and to cleanse us and to cleanse us from all, not some, but all unrighteousness. Thank God you can be pure. But if my dear friend, you're living a life of immorality or contemplating that life, I beg you, I beg you, I warn you, save yourself from the heartache, the humiliation, the destruction that comes. And in the name of all that is good and holy and wise, get out the instruction manual. Learn God's way. Learn why the wisest and the best man that ever lived, the Lord Jesus, who was more than man, who was God himself, said, you've heard it said of old times, thou shall not commit adultery. But I say unto you, that whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her, hath committed adultery with her already in his heart. You see the Lord Jesus, he just keeps on coming back to the heart. That's what we need is a new heart. That comes by receiving him.