Father: Leader of the Band

What is God's design Welcome to Love Worth Finding featuring the dynamic lessons of acclaimed pastor and Bible teacher, Adrian Rogers. As we just heard from Pastor Rogers, there's to be harmony in the home.

The entire household is to be a symphony of praise and worship. And by God's design, the Father is the leader of the band. Perhaps the most difficult and rewarding role a man could ever commit to is being a good dad. God's Word gives five ways we can be the kind of fathers that God wants us to be. If you have your Bible, turn now to Psalm chapter 128 as Adrian Rogers delivers an inspiring message, Father, leader of the band. But most difficult of all, and I think you would have to agree if you think about it, is to be a good dad.

And yet most important of all is to be a good dad. May I tell you that this Psalm tells you how you can be a good dad and a happy dad. Notice how it begins, blessed.

Do you see that? Do you see the word blessed? The word blessed there in the Hebrew language is in the plural. It literally means, and I guess our best translation of the word is blessed. The word blessed would be happy.

And it's double. What he's talking to you about is how to have double joy. Blessed, blessed, happy, happy. But my dear friend, if you don't do what's in this Psalm, you're going to have double trouble. So if you like double joy, if you'd like to be the kind of a dad that the Bible says you ought to be and need to be, I want you to tune in because I'm going to give you from this Psalm five ways that you can be that kind of a dad that you ought to be.

First of all, I want you to see the character that he lives, the character that he lives. Notice in verse 1, blessed is everyone, doubly happy is everyone, that what? That feareth the Lord, that walketh in his ways. Prime requisite for being a good dad is to fear God and to be happy is to fear God. Now how many formulas for happiness would you think would begin this way further? Fear God.

Most people think, well, happiness comes from marriage, or money, or materialism, or fame, or success, or fitness. But the Bible says happy is the man that feareth the Lord. Now that doesn't mean there's a dread of God.

Oh, no. The fear of God is pure and clean. The fear of the Lord is just simply love on its knees. The one who loves God the best fears God the most. He says to have a character so that he fears God, and as a result of fearing God, he walks in the way of God. He shows it by the way that he lives.

Now dads, are you listening, dads? There is nothing more important than your integrity. Now you might fail in a lot of different ways, but oh, if you just simply fear God and live with integrity, you see, you cannot teach what you do not know. You cannot come from where you've not been.

You cannot give what you do not have. You must fear God. You must walk in integrity. What do you want to be remembered for? I was thinking as I was preparing this sermon, what will my children remember me for? First I thought they'll remember my sermons.

Then I laughed. I can't even remember them. They're not going to remember my sermons. Do you know what I want my kids to remember me for? I want them to say my dad feared God. My dad walked in the ways of God.

That's what I want to be remembered for. I remember when our first son was born. Joyce and I were in school.

I was working my way through school, and we were living from hand to mouth, and I mean it was God's hand to our mouths, friend. We had planned to have a son while we were married. We had several children while we were going to school, and we planned to have, well, we planned to have a child. We didn't plan to have a son, but anyway, it was a son. We would have been happy with a daughter. We have now five children.

We have one little boy in heaven, and we have two sons and two daughters. But our first son was named Steve, and that night when Joyce gave me that elbow, I don't know why they always come in the middle of the night, but she said, Boy, I am telling you, I had played football and done some other things, but I was scared to death. My heart went boom, boom, boom.

And she said, Adrian, you're supposed to call the doctor and tell him that we're on our way. And we lived in a little house trailer. Folks, we didn't have a telephone.

We were all there to use the phone. It was about two in the morning, and it was locked. I said, Oh, dear God, it can't be locked. I mean, I've got to use the phone, and this is an emergency. I went to my car and got a tire iron and pried open the window. And I said, Boy, if I get caught doing this, I'm in real trouble, but I mean, this is an emergency. And then I dived in the window and banged my shins and fell on the floor and ran to the phone, and it was a pay phone. I didn't have anything.

Oh, God. Out the window, I went back in the house looking for a nickel and then back again and dialed with nervous fingers and finally told the doctor. I said, Doctor, we're on our way. I remember waiting out there. I didn't have anybody wait with me. I was just by myself there. After a while, they came out. They said, You've got a son. And I remember seeing my wife and that boy.

As they wheeled past me, and I looked at my own flesh and blood. I went back to that little house trailer, got on my knees, and I prayed like this. I said, Lord, if I never preach a good sermon, if I never pastor a significant church, if I never have any possessions, that's not the important thing.

Oh, God. I pray that this boy will know that his daddy loves Jesus. I want my children to think that Abraham Lincoln and George Washington were the Jesse James boys compared to their daddy.

I want them to believe in the God that I fear. And I'm going to tell you something, dads. Number one, number one, number one in being a good dad is the character that he lives. Integrity, integrity. My kids know I have faults.

I have a lot of them. And they could stand up and say, Dad has faults. But I'll tell you one thing they will do. They'll say, My dad is real. My dad is honest. My dad loves God.

I know they'd say that. But my dear friend, your children need a dad that fears God, a dad that walks with integrity. Now, secondly, I want you to see not only the character that he lives, but the contentment that he learns. Look, if you will, in verse 2.

For thou shalt eat the labor of thine hands. Happy shalt thou be, and it shall be well with thee. Do you see it? Happy?

Do you see it? He's speaking of contentment. He's talking here about a working man who goes out and labors. And no matter what his labor may be, whether he works from the neck up or from the neck down, he is a laboring man. And he comes home and he eats the fruit of his labor. There's something very wonderful about honest work. There's something very wonderful about providing for your family and coming home and enjoying what God has given. And God has a way of taking care of the godly. You know, the Bible says in 1 Timothy chapter 6 verse 6, For godliness with contentment is great gain. Do you know the problem of many dads?

They're just simply not content. There's never enough. He's making 25,000. He wants to make 35,000. Making 35,000, he wants to make 50,000. Making 50,000, he wants 75,000. 75,000, he wants 150,000. He is never satisfied to just simply come home and to be happy with his family.

He's always earning a living and forgetting to live a life. Again, Joyce and I, we've had some heartaches. We've had a lot of heartaches. We didn't know it was worth the furniture. We'd been, well, our furniture, you could hardly call it furniture while we were going through school.

We had bought a little couch and a little coffee table. And I was grateful for it. When that little boy died, I remember coming back to that little house and looking at that furniture. And when I looked at it, it would have had to have improved to have been counted worthy to be called junk.

Now I hope you understand what I'm talking about. It was nice, a little nice piece of furniture. But I thought, I thought how absolutely, abjectly worthless is that junk compared to my baby boy.

Compared to my baby boy. And I think at that time, I've had to remind myself about it from time to time, but I saw at that time how absolutely worthless are the things of this world in comparison to the things that really count. I'm not against having nice things.

I want nice things and I hope you have nice things. But Joyce and I made up our mind then and we discussed it with one another and made a vow that we would never get upset over the loss of anything material. And that we would never truly own anything. Now we may have the title to it, and someone may say that's yours, but we've made up our mind that it is not ours. We're only stewards. And dear friend, that has given us a freedom and a liberty in life.

Not to own anything. You see, listen, what is an ideal dad? Number one, there is, my dear friend, the character that he lives. And number two, the contentment that he learns. And then number three, look at it here, the companion that he loves. Look in verse three. Thy wife shall be as a fruitful vine by the sides of thine house. Thy wife like a fruitful vine. Now what does a vine do? Well, a vine just grows up the wall.

And if it's fruitful, it breaks out in clusters of grapes. And God describes the wife this way as a fruitful vine. That means she is a faithful wife because she clings to Him just like a vine clings to a wall. He is her support. And by the way, a husband is to be to a wife what a wall is to a vine. He is to be the support. He is to be the strength. He is to have that rock-like strength and she is to have that tenderness and she is to put out her tendrils and she is to cling to Him.

To Him alone. She is to be a faithful wife and she is to be a fruitful wife. Does that characterize your wife? By the way, the next time you criticize your wife's judgment, remember she married you.

She is to be her strong support and a fruitful wife. That's what this verse three says. By the way, my dear friend, thank God for children. The Bible says just look in the Psalm before this one. You're in Psalm 128. Look, if you will, in Psalm 127 verse three. And then verse 128 verse three, and thy wife shall be as a fruitful vine. These two Psalms are put side by side.

They're Psalms on the home. And what they tell us, oh my friend, that children are not a burden. Children are a blessing.

I have been impressed today that those who mostly should be having children are the ones who are mostly not having children. And the reason that a lot of our young yuppies don't have children today is they're trying to accumulate things. And they read all of these things in good housekeeping and so forth, how much it costs to rear child and how much it costs to put one in college and this and that. And friend, it does cost a lot. I mean you're looking at a guy suffering from mal-tuition.

It does cost a lot. But let me tell you something. The Bible says that children are the heritage of the Lord. That's your wealth. Not your money, not your house, not your car. That's not your wealth. People say, well, children make a rich man poor.

No. They make a poor man rich. Rich man can't take his money to heaven. I'm taking all my children to heaven. You see, children are the heritage of the Lord. And so here's the faithful father. Not only is the character that he lives and the contentment that he learns, but the wife that he loves. She's like a fruitful vine, a faithful wife, and a fruitful wife. And then number four, the children that he leads.

The children that he leads. Look in verse three again. And thy children like olive plants round about thy table.

Children like olive plants. Did you know that the olive is a symbol in the Bible of fruitfulness and righteousness? Psalm 52, verse 8, put that in the margin there. The psalmist said, But I am like a green olive tree in the house of God.

I trust in the mercy of God forever and ever. You want your children to be like green olive trees in the house of God, trusting in the mercy of God? That's what he's talking about, like olive trees. Now, let me tell you something, Dad.

Listen to me. Your wife is like a vine. Your children are like olive plants. Now, what does that tell you? Well, think. Both must be cultivated. That's what it tells you. I mean, they're not like sticks and stones.

They're like a vine and like olives, like an olive plant. Wise is the dad that understands, therefore, that it is his duty and privilege to cultivate his wife's love and her needs and to cultivate his children and their needs. Do you know what the curse of today is? It's not juvenile delinquency. It is not a generation gap. I'll tell you, my dear friend, what the curse of today is. It is not primarily working mothers. It is not the feminist movement. We guys would like to shove the blame away. May I tell you what the 20th century curse is? It is dropout dads.

That's it. It is dropout dads. And if you're an absentee dad, let me tell you the effect it's going to have on your daughter for a while. She's going to find it difficult to trust her heavenly father because she's going to think of her heavenly father in terms of her own father. One last thing, I want you to see not only the children that he leads, but I want you to see, my dear friend, the contribution that he leads. The contribution that he leaves. Look, if you will, in verses 4 and following.

Oh, what a blessing that would be. Your children's children. Your grandchildren serving the Lord. You say, Pastor, I just feel so inadequate. Well, so do I, friend.

That's the reason I'm glad for the psalm just above this one, Psalm 127 verse 1 that says, Except the Lord build the house, they labor in vain that build it. You see, you can't do it. God will do it and He'll do it in you. Listen, folks, I don't know what kind of family you came from. I don't know what your background is.

There's so many. You were raised in a home where there was child abuse. You were raised in a home where there was drunkenness.

You were raised in a home where there was greed and selfishness. You're supposed to know I love them. The deepest need of your heart is for a dad just to hug you and say, I accept you.

You're good. I prove you. But you don't have a dad like that. Maybe you never will have a dad like that. But you listen to me, my dear friend. Somebody has to break the cycle. You can't do anything about your ancestors, but you can certainly do something about your descendants.

I mean, you can say, maybe I didn't have that kind of a home. But thank God I've got a church and I've got a pastor and I've got the Word of God and I can break the cycle. And the Bible says in verse 6, I'll see my children's children. That is, I'm going to see the peace of God upon my children's children.

If you'll start in time. One father said, If I had to do all over again, here's what I'd do. I'd love my wife more in front of my children. I'd laugh with my children more at our mistakes and our joys.

I'd listen more even to the youngest child. I'd be more honest about my own weaknesses and stop pretending perfection. I would pray differently for my children. Instead of focusing on them, I'd focus on me. I would do more things with my children. I would be more encouraging and bestow more praise. I would pay more attention to little things, deeds and words of love and kindness. And finally, if I had to do all over again, I'd share God more intimately with my family.

I would use every ordinary thing that happened in every ordinary day to point them to God. Dads, if there's going to be the music of marriage, you're going to have to see to it that God has made you the leader of the band. Let's pray. Let's bring this message home, not only to me, but to us. And God give us better fathers. In Jesus' name.

Amen. If you can go to our homepage, lwf.org slash radio and scroll down to our prayer wall, you'll find the option there to submit a prayer request or pray for others. This resource is one of our favorite ways to keep the ministry and the community praying continually for one another's needs.

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For information on that, go to lwf.org slash radio. Fathers, are you leading your family with character and contentment? Do you love your wife and lead your children on the path of righteousness?

Consider the legacy that you're leaving behind as the leader of the band. Thanks for studying in God's word with us and join us next time for more from Adrian Rogers right here on love worth finding. Here's a message from Facebook that really encouraged us that love worth finding. I received such blessings from hearing the late Pastor Rogers. He was such a godly man. I've been listening for several years now. His teachings are so inspirational and inspiring to help me to stay focused. Thank you for continuing the ministry of love worth finding. Well, thank you for sharing those encouraging words with us as we continue sharing these timeless messages and new resources. We believe that God is allowing us to help listeners grow in their faith. And when you donate to love worth finding right now, we would love to send you a copy of the new book, The Music of Marriage. Request a copy of The Music of Marriage when you call us at 1-877-LOVEGOD or give online at lwf.org slash radio. And again, thanks for your generous support of love worth finding.