Friends | Part 2

We'll be right back. Welcome to Love Worth Finding, featuring profound truth simply stated through the messages of Pastor Adrian Rogers. Our deepest longings, whether we're young or old, is for enduring friendships. We all want to commune with someone who truly understands our deepest needs, our highest aspirations, and our worst fears. But the wrong kind of friend is one of the greatest dangers we could have, especially when we're young. Because ultimately, we become like our friends. If you have your Bible, turn to Proverbs 17, 17, as Adrian Rogers concludes this powerful, insightful message about our friends.

There are three kinds of young people. There are simple, there are scorners, and there are fools. We find these in Proverbs chapter 1, verses 20 through 22. The Bible says, Wisdom crieth without. She uttereth her voice in the streets.

She crieth in the chief place of the concourse, in the opening of the gates. In the city, she, wisdom, uttereth her words, saying, How long ye simple ones will ye love simplicity? And the scorners delight in their scorning, and fools hate knowledge.

There they are, simple ones, scorners, and fools. And every teenager in the world is made up of one of those categories, either a simple, a scorner, or a fool. Now, what do we mean by the word simple? That does not mean, if your child is simple, that doesn't mean he's stupid. As a matter of fact, he may grow up to be a rocket scientist, he may grow up to be a surgeon, he may grow up to be a lawyer. What do we mean by simple?

The word just simply means open. Now, our verse in verse 22 says, The simple one loves simplicity. That is, he loves what all teenagers love, and that is the easy way. He wants to go through life without any restraint, he wants to go through life without any discipline, he loves his simplicity, but he lacks understanding.

Proverbs 9 verses 1 through 4, Wisdom hath built her house, she hath hewn out her seven pillars, she hath killed her beast, she hath mingled her wine, she hath furnished her table, she hath set forth her maidens, she crieth upon the highest places of the city. Now, listen, wisdom says, Whoso is simple, let him turn and hither, and as for him that wanteth understanding, she saith to him. Now, a simple child, a simple teenager, does not have understanding. This is true of all teenagers before they get understanding.

I mean, they're born this way. They love simplicity. They don't have understanding.

They just don't understand. A simple person is easily led into sin and error. Proverbs 14 verse 15, The simple believeth every word. This is a reason that they are a piece of cake from Madison Avenue. The simple believe every word.

He is just open. His mind is like plastic, and if he doesn't get a lock on the truth, if the simple doesn't believe God's word, he is going to believe anything. It may be Madison Avenue, it may be false religion, it may be sinful friends. The simple is living in danger. The simple pass on and they're punished. They don't understand.

They think they're indestructible. Two boys were trying to take a girl out. Her father came to the door and said, you boys get off my property. He looked them up and down. He knew what they were like. He said, the daughter was 15, said, my daughter is not going out with you tonight, tomorrow night, or forever.

She's not going out with you, so get off of my property. They were so angry. They got in the car, threw gravel up against the man's house, sped down the road. Then they got angry again, and they came back, came and parked in front of that house, rolled down the window, and began to curse that man and use vile obscenities and shout at him. Then drove off again, came back again, and began to curse and swear at him and call him every ungodly, lascivious thing that they could think of, vile and filthy names.

They did that three times. Then they were going downtown, and they saw a boy, one of their friends just walking down the street, and said, hey, get in the car with us. And that young man just jumped in the car. And he said, where are you going?

They said, we'll show you where we're going. And they went back to that man's house again to vilify him and to curse him and to say words to him, but he'd had enough. He was standing out there behind an Evergreen with a loaded gun, and as that car sped off one more time, he shot through the rear window, and guess who was hit? That bullet went in his back and tore a gaping hole out of the heart of that boy just simply walking down the street and got in that car with these people, and I don't know what kind of epitaph they put on his gravestone, but here's what they might have said. Here lies Jim, a good boy. He would be alive, but he had some friends. He just had some friends.

Now, these are simple. I'm telling you, it doesn't mean that your young people are not smart. It doesn't mean they don't have character. I am just telling you that they don't understand until they get wisdom from God, and kids, you need to understand now, I love you. I'm not putting you down, but there's the simple, and every teenager starts out as a simple teenager, but he can become a scorner. God have mercy upon the scorner. What is a scorner like? Well, the Bible says in Proverbs 1, verse 22, how long ye simple ones will ye love simplicity, and scorners delight in the scorning.

Do you see the difference? The simple just loves simplicity, but the scorner delights in his scorning. That is, he has got a warped character now. He's an evil person. He has the devil's initials carved on his heart, and you can't tell him anything. You can't instruct him. You can't instruct the simple, but you can't instruct the scorner. Proverbs 13, verse 1, a wise son heareth his father's instruction, but a scorner heareth not rebuke.

You can always tell the scorner, but you can't tell him much. If a scorner's here at night, he's probably giving somebody an elbow right now, or she's writing little notes, laughing, trying to make light of what we're saying, because when you rebuke a scorner, you might as well be talking to a brick wall. He delights in his scorning. He refuses instruction, and he despises godly people.

Listen to Proverbs 15, verse 12. A scorner loveth not one that reproveth him, neither will he go unto the wise. Correct a scorner, and even if he doesn't say anything, he'll put a look in his eyes that says, I hate your guts. That's the scorner.

Rebuke him, and he will insult you to your face. Proverbs 9, verses 7 and 8, he that reproveth a scorner getteth to himself shame, and he that rebuketh a wicked man getteth to himself a blot. Reprove not a scorner, lest he hate thee. Rebuke a wise man, and he will love thee. And parents, if your child is already a scorner, I pray God will have mercy on him.

I hate to say this, but the chances are he's going to hell. The Bible says in Proverbs 13, verse 1, a wise son heareth his father's instruction, but a scorner heareth not rebuke. And Proverbs 13, verse 13, whoso despiseth the word shall be destroyed. He'll be destroyed.

He's talking about everlasting destruction. So you have three kinds of teens. You have the simple, then you have the scorner. Do you know what a synonym for scorner is? Smart aleck.

The smart aleck. But then there's a third category of teen, and this is the fool. May God pity the mother, the father of a fool. Listen to our verse again in Proverbs 1, verse 22.

How long ye simple ones will ye love simplicity? And scorners delight in scorning, but now watch fools. And fools hate knowledge. They hate knowledge. They don't just merely delight in scorning.

They literally hate knowledge. The scorner hates wisdom. Proverbs 1, verse 7, the fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and instruction. A fool will ridicule righteousness. Proverbs 14, verse 9, fools make a mock at sin.

I mean, the fool will laugh at ungodliness, immorality, homosexuality, fornication, drunkenness. He will make a mock of sin. He gets his jollies from sin. He rejoices in his sin. The Bible says folly is a joy to him in Proverbs, chapter 15, verse 21.

His moral sense has been perverted. He wouldn't know the difference between right and wrong if it came walking down the street with a sign around its neck. The Bible describes a fool in the book of Isaiah, chapter 5, verse 20. They woe unto them that call evil good and good evil, that put darkness for light and light for darkness, that put bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter. The Bible says in Proverbs 26, 11, as a dog returneth to his vomit, so a fool returneth to his folly. May God have mercy if you have a fool for a child. A fool, a fool is destined for hell. In the Bible, I can't find any hope for a fool.

There may be. But Proverbs 17, verse 10 says, Reproof entereth more unto a wise man than a hundred stripes on a fool. You're not going to beat it into him. You're not going to beat it out of him. His heart is hard. His conscience is seared. His mind is defiled and punishment will not change him.

He has crossed God's deadline. His moral sensibilities have been destroyed. He is a fool. I want to tell you parents something. Don't you let your children hang around with scorners and fools.

Don't you do it. I'm going to tell you young people, don't you hang around with scorners and fools. Now, parents, you need to help your children here, even when they may not want help. Help them, first of all, understand the dangers that are involved.

They don't understand. Let me give you a wonderful verse. Proverbs 19, verse 25, smite a scorner and the simple will beware.

What does that mean? Well, today young people do not see the consequences of sin because we have so dumbed down the consequences. Kids see somebody selling dope on the street corner. They see them arrested, and then they see them back out on the street the next day.

They watch politicians in high places that dissemble and lie, and they see their popularity soar. Now, what young people need to understand is that there are consequences to sin. If you smite a scorner, the Bible says, the simple will beware. Now, I want to tell you dads what you need to do. Dads, you need to take some Saturday nights and take your boy or take your girl, take them down to the emergency room and just wait out there and watch the people come in sliced up after having gone through a windshield. Let your daughter see somebody with her pretty face.

So disfigured, it will never, ever be the same. Take them to the morgue. If you've got a doctor friend or a hospital administrator, say, I'd like to take my child in here to the morgue. I want them to see a body that had been broken because of sin. Take your kids down to the rescue mission or take them down to Skid Row. Let them see, take them and let them see some drunk in the gutter covered with flies in his own vomit. Take him down to the court and let him listen to some of the court proceedings. They need to understand that sin has its repercussions.

If you smite a sconer, then the simple will beware. Help him to understand the dangers involved. Number two, parents carefully guard his company. Now, remember Proverbs 13, verse 20? The Bible says a companion of fools will be destroyed and let me give you a great verse. Proverbs 22, verse 10, cast out the scorner and contention will cease. If there's a kid hanging around with your kid and he's a scorner, you say, son, there's the sidewalk, get on it. And Mary or John, you're not going with him. Parents, don't try to win some popularity contest. That boy wants to marry your girl, you'd ask him to come in and ask you.

If he wants to date your daughter, have him come in, look him up and down. You're going to have to guard their company. The Bible says cast out the scorner and contention will cease. Listen, teach your children and young people, listen to your pastor, I love you. Teach them the importance of their choices. Your life is the sum total of your choices.

C.S. Lewis, one of the most brilliant men past several generations said this, and I quote, every time you make a choice, you are turning the central part of you, the part that chooses into something a little different than what it was before. That is, every choice changes you, every one.

And taking your life as a whole with all of your innumerable choices, you are slowly turning this central thing into a heavenly creature or a hellish creature. It's your choices. Now, kids, you're free to choose, but you're not free to choose the consequences of your choice. After you choose, then your choice chooses for you. I want to say a word to you parents. I think your brain ought to be willed to the Smithsonian if you let your daughter, a little 12-year-old, go out on a date with some old boy. Now, folks, wise up.

These children are babies. They do not have what it takes to make these kind of choices. Help your child select his friends. You may have to cast out this corner. Peer pressure can be bad or good. One of the best things to do is make your home the most fun place in town.

Make your home the funnest place in town so that you can watch their friends. Now, I want to say something else to you parents. Refuse to honor fools. Proverbs 26 and verse 1, As snow in summer and as rain in harvest, so honor is not seemly for a fool.

Now, what does that mean? Don't get your entertainment from a fool. These kids and these rock concerts, I'm talking about the lascivious, ungodly, vile, fornicating, blasphemous. I don't have enough words to describe them, and you let your daughter, your child go off there, your little beanie bopper, and go and sit there and listen to that fool entertain. You actually pay money.

You give your money. Why be entertained by a fool? Those have set themselves against God and set themselves against wisdom. Well, you say, my kids won't like me. No, they may respect you. They'll ultimately love you.

Let me tell you what your parents need to do. Number one, you have a positive attitude. Don't talk down to your kids. Words can hurt your children more than blows, more than a slap in the face sometimes. Don't use words that belittle and put them down. Use words that build them up. Learn to listen to them, not the things that you want to tell them always, but the things that they want to tell you. Try to see life from their point of view. They're having it hard.

And I want to tell you something. The kids today are facing things that you and I never faced. I'm talking about some of the old coots like me. They're facing things that we did not have to face, and be gentle with them. There's a verse concerning God in the Bible that says His gentleness hath made me great. I have noticed that fathers that have children that adore them are strong and wise, but gentle. They're not harsh. They don't shove. They don't push. They don't slap. They don't yell.

They're very gentle. Learn to touch your teenager. Learn to hug. Learn to show nonverbal expression.

That old boy, when he gets to be 14 years of age, mama, you go to hug him, and he'll shrink back. Just fall right after him. Go right after him. And hug him up good, and be gentle with these kids, and be transparent. Let them know your faults. They already know you're not perfect.

Did you know that? They already know that. Do you know what your kids want out of you? Your kids don't necessarily want you to be perfect.

They just don't want you to be a phony. My kids know that their dad is not perfect. Their mother may be, but they know I'm not.

Joyce doesn't walk on water, but she only gets ankle deep. I'll tell you one thing. My kids know that their dad is not a phony. They know that I believe what I believe, and they know that I love them. And be available to these kids.

Promiscuity is much less likely when there's an intimate relationship to the Father. Now, young people, I want to tell you, you can have casual friends. Invite them to church. Invite them to the youth group. When they come in, be friendly to them. Sit down, smile, sing with them, give them the songbook, let them go out for a hamburger after the service.

You can do all of that. But do not make these kids your companions. The Bible says a companion of fools will be destroyed.

You cannot have fellowship, intimacy, with these kind of people. You need to understand what a true friend is. A true friend is somebody who is faithful. Proverbs 17, verse 17, a friend loveth at all times. A true friend is somebody that encourages you and makes you better.

It will sharpen you. As iron sharpeneth iron, so a man's countenance sharpeneth the countenance of his friend. I beg you, choose your friends carefully.

With all of my heart, I beg you. The greatest joy of your life, or the greatest disappointment of your life is going to be your friends. And thank God there is one friend that sticketh closer than a brother, and his name is Jesus. And he's the one that will help you to understand all these other friendships.

And he's the one that will guide you to the right friendships. Teenagers respect your parents. They're not perfect, but they love you. And I'm going to tell you mama something, you girls something. Your mama can tell more about that boy you're dating by looking at him five minutes than you can after five months. Mamas just know those things. God's just given them a built-in radar. Don't you waste your life. Now this doesn't mean that we're going to be a sacred society for snubbing sinners.

I've already talked about that. We love these people that are lost. We become all things to all men. We reach out to them.

We're friendly to them. But a companion, a companion of fools, will be destroyed. Father, I pray that you'll help our kids tonight, that they might have true friends, that they might be true friends, and that they might know the best friend whose name is Jesus. In His wonderful name I pray.

Amen. We can't wait to hear from you today. Now if you'd like to order a copy of today's message, call us at 1-877-LOVEGOD and mention the title Friends.

You can also go online to order at lwf.org slash radio. Or you can write us at Love Worth Finding, Box 38600, Memphis, Tennessee 38183. If you're a parent, remember this word of wisdom from Adrian Rogers. In order for them to understand the dangers of foolish friends, carefully guard their company and teach the importance of their choices. Thanks for joining us for today's program. We hope you'll tune in next time for more real truth that never changes, right here on Love Worth Finding. We love hearing how listeners are using these timeless messages to encourage others. One inmate wrote recently with this testimony, a few men established a nightly prayer circle four months ago.

It started with a handful of men and has grown to about 25. We keep adding new people who are drawn by the Holy Spirit working in this group. We meet each night without fail and listen to these messages together. This is no coincidence. This is God working. That is great. Such a joy to hear. And we are honored to continue sharing the gospel through these messages from Adrian Rogers. We do not know who is listening, but God knows. To say thank you right now for your gift this month, we want to send you our struggles booklet collection. Call 1-877-LOVEGOD or give online at lwf.org slash radio.