How to Be the Father of a Wise Child | Part 2

From the Love We're Finding studios in Memphis, Tennessee, I'm Byron Tyler, here with Kerry Vaughn, the CEO of Love We're Finding. Kerry, today, Adrian Rogers, part two, and a message, how to be the father of a wise child. And we'll be going to the book of Proverbs.

What a great book it is. And I'll say this, too. Everybody needs a father, but everybody needs a heavenly father. And so we take a look here in Proverbs 1, 20 through 22, a great message. for today on truly, right, how to be a father of a wise child. Well, you know, many children sadly enough are never taught to grow in wisdom, and they remain simple in their adulthood.

They do. You know, it also says a fool rejects wisdom, ridicules righteousness, and rejoices in iniquity. And, you know, the father is the pace setter. I mean, everybody's pivoting off the father, right? And Adrian Rogers was a tremendous father. You heard his four kids always talked about having dad at home and what he meant to them personally, but he also took pride in being a grandfather and even more pride in being a great grandfather, right?

And he took that role seriously, and I think we owe it to ourselves to do the same thing. Well, I'm reminded what Adrian Rogers said, words can hurt children more than an open hand and a slap in the face. Love your children and delight in them. Well, that's true, and let me say this, there's many times in our relationship with our kids there needs to be plenty of words, right?

Sometimes we have a tendency to talk to other people or through social media more than we do our own children. And then also, Byron, there needs to be positive words, right? We need to give words of affirmation, words of encouragement, an attagirl, an attaboy. That needs to come from their father. And then lastly, I would say this, there needs to be personal words. I mean, words that are personal, that are genuine, that are true, that are real, and they need that from dad, right? And we cover all of that in this sermon.

Yeah, it really is, Kerry. You make a great point because those little words of affirmation can make all the difference, you know, in a child's behavior. And sometimes you wonder as a parent, why is my child acting like that? Well, you might want to introspect your own life to make sure, am I speaking the right words? Am I setting the right tone in the home for my family and my children?

That's right. And are my children getting affirmation from somebody else than at home, right? Home should be the hub for all of that. And so we'll cover that in today's message. Kerry, I really love this exhortation for fathers to take their responsibility seriously. And we have a listener who is doing just that after hearing the teaching of Adrian Rogers.

Byron, this is from Texas. It says, Dr. Rogers was a great Christian statesman. He not only preached the infallible word, he lived it before us. I can model the Christian life for my children, and I'm so thankful for men of faith like Dr. Adrian Rogers. Is that not great?

But you know what makes that possible? People giving. Not just listening, not just participating, but giving. I can't think of a better time to give to Love Worth Finding than right now. We're at fiscal year end. It is the best time to give at Love Worth Finding. We are wrapping up one year, and we are segueing into another year.

And I'll just say this. If you want to give to a ministry that's doing two things, we are introducing people to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ, and we are maturing them in their faith, then come be a part of Love Worth Finding. I know in my life that every single time, participation and pocketbook will always follow the passion. So if you have a true passion for souls, and you have a true passion for the kingdom, then step up this fiscal year end and be a part of what Love Worth Finding is doing. Kerry, thank you so much for those words. And now for our message, How to Be the Father of a Wise Child, Part Two.

Here's Adrian Rogers. I want to talk to dads today, and I want to tell you how not to be the father of a fool. How to be the father of a wise child. First of all, let's think of the ignorance of the simple. How is he described?

Look, if you will, in verse 22. How long ye simple ones will ye love simplicity? That's his first mark. He loves his simplicity. He enjoys being a child.

He enjoys the carefree life. He doesn't like any serious thoughts. One teenager said, I am worried. My dad slaves away this job so I won't have to need for a thing, and so I can have a college education.

My mom spends every day washing and ironing and picking up my things and looking after me, and she takes care of me. When I'm sick, his friend said, You're worried. What are you worried about?

He said, I'm afraid they might try to escape. We, the children, just love having everything done for them, the carefree, simple life. That's the life of the simple.

Now, a simple person loves his simplicity. He lacks understanding. As I say, one day he may be a lawyer, a banker, or a surgeon, but he lacks spiritual wisdom and spiritual understanding. He just doesn't know. Now, because he's carefree and because he lacks understanding, he is easily led into error. You can trick him. You can flimflam him, but he's living in constant danger.

Now, that's the simple for you. He's careless. He's carefree. He's easily led. He thinks he's indestructible. He has no idea about danger.

He just passes on and is punished. Now, the next step, after a person is naive, he becomes, if he's not led by his dad and his mom, he becomes a smart aleck. In school, he's the Senecan business. He's the mocker at the university.

Now, what are his marks? We'll go back again to chapter 1, Proverbs chapter 1 and verse 22, and look at it. How long ye simple ones will ye love simplicity?

Now, watch this. And the scorners, now watch this, delight in their scorning. He delights in his scorning.

He gets his jollies out of being a smart aleck. And because he delights in scorning, he defies instruction. Turn to Proverbs chapter 13 and look, if you will, in verse 1. A wise son heareth his father's instruction, but a scorner heareth not rebuke.

Boy, underscore that. Dads, you need to learn this. A wise son hears his father's instruction, but a scorner heareth not rebuke. You can always tell a scorner, but you can't tell him much. He won't listen. He'll tune you out. He has ears, but he will not hear. And when you talk to him, it's like pouring water on a rock.

It's like talking to a brick wall. But not only does he delight in his scorning, not only does he defy instruction, but he literally despises the good and the godly. Look in chapter 15, verse 12. A scorner loveth not the one that reproveth him. Neither will he go unto the wise. A scorner will never come to his dad and say, Dad, I need help. Will you help me out? He'll never go to his teacher, his pastor, his youth pastor, and say, Will you help me?

Oh, no. As a matter of fact, when you try to correct a scorner, what's going to happen is he is going to look at you and he's going to say with his eyes, I hate your guts. Rebuke a scorner and he will insult you.

You cannot tell him anything. He will shoot off the lip at you. Now, a scorner was once simple, but he became a scorner. And what is going to happen to him is he's destined for destruction. Look in Proverbs chapter 13 and verse 1. A wise son heareth his father's instruction, but a scorner heareth not rebuke. We've already read that, but now I want you to skip on down to verse 13. Whoso despiseth, the word shall be destroyed. He won't listen. And God says he's destined for destruction.

He laughs at you, but he'll laugh his way right into hell, and once he's there, he can't laugh his way out. But there is some hope for the scorner. The scorner is very hard to reach, but the scorner can be reclaimed.

But now I want you to think about the third category. First we said there was the simple, the naive, the open, the carefree. He becomes then the smart aleck, the scorner if he's not taught. But then the scorner becomes a fool. Now go back to the text again in Proverbs chapter 1 and look at it in verse 22. How long ye simple ones will ye love simplicity?

The simple one loves his carefree life. And the scorners delight in their scorning. The smart aleck gets his jollies out of his scorning. But now notice, and fools hate knowledge.

Now here's the difference. The scorner is insolent, but the fool is immovable. Now notice what he does. The fool rejects wisdom. He hates wisdom. Look in Proverbs chapter 15 and verse 14. The heart of him that hath understanding seeketh knowledge, but the mouth of fools feedeth on foolishness. They love foolishness.

They literally feed on foolishness. And then he ridicules righteousness. Look in 14 verse 9. Fools make a mock at sin. Fools make a mock at sin. That's the reason that you have these situational comedies that laugh at drunkenness, that laugh at adultery, that mock homosexuality and perversion. They mock at sin.

Do you know who does that? Fools. Fools make a mock at sin. That's what the Bible says. He rejects wisdom. He ridicules righteousness.

But he's not finished yet. He literally rejoices in iniquity. Proverbs 15 verses 20 and 21.

Look at that. A wise son maketh a glad father, but a foolish man despiseth his mother. Folly is a joy to him that is destitute of wisdom. He just actually rejoices in this wickedness. His moral sense has been so perverted that he thinks good is evil and evil is good.

You might want to put down on your notes Isaiah chapter 5 and verse 20. Woe unto them that call evil good and good evil, that put darkness for light and light for darkness, that put bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter. Now, what's going to happen to the fool? The fool's going to die and go to hell. Turn to Proverbs chapter 17 and verse 10.

A reproof inearthe more into a wise man than a hundred stripes into a fool. You cannot beat the foolishness out of a child. Don't even try. Don't even try.

Can't be done. He won't hear you. He is intransigent.

He is fixed. His heart is hardened. His conscience is seared.

His mind is defiled. Now, if he were wise, he could still go wrong, but if he went wrong and God chastised him, then he would repent. Whom the father loves, he chastens and scourges every son whom he receiveth. King David sinned terribly, but King David was a wise man in spite of his sin and when God chastised King David, King David repented and he cried out to God for mercy.

Pharaoh was a fool and when God judged Pharaoh, Pharaoh just hardened his heart more and more and more. And if you have a child and you have raised a fool and then you think when he's 18 and 185 pounds that you're going to give him a whipping, just forget it. All you're going to do is to make him hate you all the more. But you see, God gives us little children and they're what we call simple. But if you're not careful, we have a society that's going to turn him into a smart aleck and if he's not rescued when he becomes a sconer and a smart aleck, he's going to become a fool and he's going to end up in hell.

He won't even know the difference between right and wrong. Let's go back in the few moments that we have left and look at the simple, not as simple to him, but the simple, the naive, the carefree child. What can you do, dads?

What can you do, moms, so as not to raise a fool? I want to mention four things. Number one, you need to expound truth. Go back to Proverbs chapter one and look in verses one through four. The Proverbs of Solomon, the son of David, king of Israel, to know wisdom and instruction, to perceive the words of understanding, to receive the instruction of wisdom, justice, and judgment, and equity, to give subtlety to the simple and to the young man knowledge and discretion.

That's why God gave you the Proverbs, expound truth. The battle is for the mind. As the child thinks, so is he. And who is the major teacher? The major teacher is the father. You read in Deuteronomy chapter five where God gave the Ten Commandments and then in Deuteronomy chapter six, God says to fathers, teach these commandments to your sons and to your grandsons that your family will survive and that your home will endure. Number one, expound truth. Number two, expose sin.

Expose sin. The simple will learn by example. Turn to Proverbs chapter 19, please. Smite a scorner and the simple will beware.

Underscore that. Smite a scorner and the simple will beware and reprove one that hath understanding and he will understand knowledge. Now, what does that mean? It means that a child who is carefree and careless, who is simple, needs to see the scorner smitten. He needs to see a sin exposed and the fruit of sin because he often does not see it. Look in Proverbs 21, verse 11. The same thing is taught. When the scorner is punished, the simple is made wise.

What does that mean? Do you know the worst thing that could happen to your child would be for your child to live in such a sinful place that they cannot see society as we have and yet for your child not to see the repercussions of sin? For example, he watches on television and he sees people sleeping together but never sees anybody get pregnant. He never sees an abortion. He never sees venereal disease. He never sees the breakup of home. He doesn't see that. He doesn't see the scorner being smitten. He sees the guys in the pool hoisting a big can of beer and smacking their lips and slapping each other and hugging each other and giving each other high fives and saying, it never gets any better than this.

That's right. It doesn't even get that good. As a matter of fact, it always gets worse than that. But they never show him, Madison Avenue never shows him a drunkard in the gutter covered with vomit and flies. He doesn't show the alcoholic with DTs.

He doesn't show a man, a beard up dad coming home and beating up his kids. Madison Avenue doesn't do that. You see, they don't get to see the scorner smitten.

Our children today are insulated. They don't know. That's the reason that you need to help them to understand. You need to expose sin, not only expound truth but expose sin.

If you're a dad and you've got a 9, 10, 12, 14-year-old, you need to go some Friday and Saturday nights to the emergency room of the hospital, about between 11 and 1. And let them see these people coming in after having gone through the windshield of an automobile, after having been beared up. Take him down to Skid Row. Take him to the prisons. Let him see this. Smite the scorner and the simple will learn. He thinks he's indestructible.

He does not know. You need to pull back the veil. Now, here's the third thing, expel scorners. Turn, if you will, to Proverbs chapter 13 and look with me in verse 20. He that walketh with wise men shall be wise, but a companion of fools shall be destroyed. Turn to Proverbs 22 and verse 10. Cast out the scorner and contention shall go out. Yea, strife and reproach shall cease. Cast out the scorner.

Now, every so often we hear that this disruptive child, for his sake, needs to be able to stay there and disrupt everybody else. But that's not what the Bible teaches. You're not doing him any good. You're only feeding his ego and depravity, and you are definitely corrupting those that he is around. The Bible says, cast him out.

Now, listen. Do not let your children hang around with scorners and fools. Just don't do it. You help him select his friends. That means you may have to be firm and cast out the scorner.

Why? Because your child, if your child is naive, if your child is simple, they are going to be susceptible to peer pressure. And as somebody said, it's hard to fly with eagles when you're surrounded with turkeys. You just let your kids run with turkeys. And the Bible says a companion of fools will be destroyed. Now, peer pressure is not bad.

It is good if the peers are good. So that's all the more reason that you need to get the right kids in your home. And that's all the more reason that you need to make your home the headquarters for happiness. You need to say, come in. Mary, Susie, Bill, John, Martha, whomever. Michelle, come on into our house. You can have the house. You want to have a party? Have it over here. Boys, you want to raid the refrigerator?

Go ahead and do it. You want to break down the couch? That's okay.

You want to track the carpet? That's okay. Friend, those things are small compared to your children. Let your home be the happiest place on earth. And by the way, when you have them there, you can monitor those friends. And when there's a scorner, a smart aleck, or a fool, you say, son, there's the sidewalk.

Get on it. That's right. The Bible says, cast out the scorner and contention will cease. Joyce and I have always tried to have the right guest in our home and make certain when the guests are there that the children are there. If we're having important people in our home, what I consider to be important, I don't mean the high muckety mucks, the rich, the wealthy, and the famous. I'm talking about people who know God and love God and people of character.

We want our children at the dinner table to listen to the conversation and enjoy the conversation and participate in the conversation. And friend, the Bible says that a companion of fools will be destroyed, but those who are around wise people will be made wise. Here's the last point. But you need, you need to expound truth. You need to expose sin. You need to expel scorners and you need to express love.

You need to express love. Look in Proverbs chapter 3 and verse 12. The Bible says here, for whom the Lord loveth, he correcteth, even as a father, the son in whom he delighteth. Love your children, delight in them. Be positive.

Don't ever be negative. Words can hurt your children more than an open hand and a slap in the face. Learn to listen to them. Try to see life from their point of view.

They're facing things you never faced. Be gentle. I have observed dads. I say, why is it that some children just adore and worship their dads almost and others hate their dads? What is the difference in dads? And there's one characteristic that I've almost found in all true dads whose children love and follow them. Those dads are gentle. They're gentle.

And it starts when they're children. Can you imagine what a big, harsh, overbearing dad would do to a little guy? Imagine walking out there on the front porch is a guy 17 feet tall. You're looking in his kneecaps. And let's say he has a voice like thunder and he begins to talk to you and tell you what to do.

Why so? Well, if he's that big, sounds like that, one thing you sure do hope is that he's gentle, don't you? That's what the children want out of their dad. Somebody who's gentle. Oh, they want a dad they can look up to. They want a dad who's the strongest, wisest, smartest, fastest, richest, goodest dad. I know goodest is not a word.

The best dad in all the world. But they want him to be gentle. Touch them, hug them, show other nonverbal language. Be transparent. Let them know of your fears and your joys and your disappointments, your failures and your goals. They already know you're not perfect.

They just don't want you to be a phony. And then be available to your child. You say, Pastor Rogers, very frankly, I'm not adequate for what you've just described. I know you're not.

I'm not adequate. None of us has what it takes to be this kind of a dad or mom. That's the reason we need Jesus, isn't it? That's the reason we need the Lord. That's the reason we've got to have Christ in our hearts, because the Christian life is not difficult.

It is impossible. So there's only one who can do it, and that's Jesus. But he will do it in us and through us if we'll let him. So the best thing you could do for your children is to love God with all of your heart. Give your heart to Jesus. Would you like to give your heart to Jesus right now? Let me lead you in a brief prayer as you make this decision to follow Christ and lead your family to honor him. Pray something like this, O God in heaven, I'm a sinner and I need your forgiveness. As Pastor Rogers just said, the Christian life is not difficult.

It's impossible. But Jesus lived that perfect life, and he died on the cross in my place and then rose to new life. So give that new life to me right now.

Come in and change me, transform me from the inside out. I pray in Jesus' name. Amen. If you prayed to receive Jesus just now, we'd love to celebrate with you and invite you to our Discover Jesus page on the website. You'll find answers there you may need about your newfound faith. Just go to lwf.org slash radio and click the tab that says Discover Jesus. Welcome to God's forever family. We can't wait to hear from you today. Well, are you raising your children to be wise or foolish? Remember your instructions from Proverbs, expound truth, expose sin, expel scorners, and express love. And be sure to join us next time for more timeless truth from Adrian Rogers right here on Love Worth Finding.