Pastor, teacher, and author Adrian Rogers has introduced people all over the world to the love of Jesus Christ and has impacted untold numbers of lives by presenting profound truth simply stated. Thanks for joining us for this message. Here's Adrian Rogers. Proverbs chapter 31. In just a moment, we'll begin our Bible study.
In verse 10, right on through the end of the chapter.
Now what you have here In Proverbs chapter 31 is God's picture. of an ideal wife. and mother. what I want to call the maximum Mom.
Now listen ladies. If you don't understand that this is an ideal, You're going to get very discouraged. A lot of ladies like to stop reading Proverbs at chapter 30, and they want to go right on into chapter 31 because this is an ideal. And I don't think there's a one of us Who can reach the ideal, whether we be male or female? But thank God God has given us a standard.
I heard about some cows who were out grazing in a field. And they saw a milk truck go by, and on the side of that milk truck it said something about the name of the dairy, and then it began to advertise the milk. and it said that the milk was pasteurized. homogenized Sanitized. Vitamin enriched.
And one of the cows said to the other one, it makes you feel inadequate, doesn't it?
Now, I think that as you were to read this, You would say, I feel so inadequate, but what a wonderful, wonderful picture it is. Listen, folks. It is better to reach for an ideal and miss it. than to aim for mediocrity. And to hit it squarely.
So here's what God says now in Proverbs chapter 31, verse 10. Who? can find a virtuous Woman. For her price is far above rubies. And then from there on, the writer of Proverbs gives us what we would call today an acrostic.
These 22 verses that follow, each one of them begins in order. with a letter of the Hebrew alphabet. And what he is doing, he has arranged a poem. Which is a tribute to a virtuous woman, and indeed a tribute, I believe, to every virtuous mother today. And I'm so glad.
And you're going to find out that this maximum mom. This mom from A to Z, if we were to use English letters rather than Hebrew letters, the mom from A to Z, we would find out that she is a home maker. I certainly don't agree with everything Ann Landers has to say, but I found something that she said that I agree with 101%. Here's what Ann Landers said. She said, it's high time someone took on the free-swinging feminists.
Who have decided for everyone that the married woman who stays home is a brass plate dummy. a lazy three-toed sloth, or a traitor to her Radcliffe graduating class. And then she goes on to say, Why has the American woman been made to feel ashamed? Because she is at home cleaning, washing, and ironing, and taking care of her own children. This was once considered noble and gratifying work.
We're told that the hand that rocks the cradle rules the world. And I'm going to skip some of her material, but she says the nesting instinct is a normal and lovely thing, and most women marry because they want more than anything in the world. to be wives. homemakers and mothers. This is not adolescent hogwash.
our sloppy sentimentalism. It is real. It is what woman is all about. And she says there's no special magic about a paid job. A great many women who have left jobs, good jobs, insist that the business world is dull and confining compared with running a home and raising a family.
Then skipping again, she says, so much has been written about the educated woman's obligation to society to do something with her education. that one gets the impression that the college graduate who stays home is copping out. I believe the reverse is closer to the truth. In my opinion, Life's classic cop-outs. Are the women?
Who have abdicated their responsibilities to their husbands and children and to society because they lack the maturity to stay home and do the job. they bargain for. To be a successful housewife and mother demands infinitely more emotional balance and moral fiber than is required to hold down a job. Chauffeur? Maid, cook, referee, philosopher, rescue squad, hostess, tutor, and psychiatrist put them all together and they spell mother.
She must be equal to every crisis imaginable. She must expect the unexpected. The child who falls downstairs and cracks his head open, the flooded basement, the busted oil heater, the minor and major battles among her children. Coping with these emergencies is the real challenge. How much easier to wiggle into a girdle and beat it out the house in the morning.
That's what millions of American mothers are doing, and the kids show it. There's so much more in that article, but I think that's a good article. And I want you to see that when God just takes a woman that surpasses them all, He idealizes that woman as a mother and a homemaker.
Now, with that in mind, get out your Bible, open it in your lap, and let's just take this passage apart, verse by verse. As we talk about the maximum mom, the first thing I want you to see is what I'm going to call her great worth. Look, if you will, in verses 10 through 12: Who can find a virtuous woman? Her price, her worth, her value is far above rubies. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her.
so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good. and not evil all the days of her life. My dear sir, if you are married to a good and godly woman as I am, Happily so. And for many years so, and as I have been reflecting upon this message, I can tell you that I do not have words in my vocabulary.
to express to you how much I value my precious wife. And may I tell you also, sir, that the real value The real worth of a wife is not in her outward charm, though I thank God for outward charm. Not in the beauty of her face, though I thank God for that. But the real value of a wife is her Virtue. Who?
can find a virtuous wife. Her price is far above rubies.
Now God doesn't compare her with a diamond. But a ruby. A diamond catches and reflects light. But a ruby has that inner glow. It is the beauty of a ruby that's on the inside.
And that's what God is talking about when he speaks of the value of a wife. Going down to verse 30, and you'll see what he's talking about. Favor is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.
Now, there's nothing wrong with beauty, my dear friend, but let me tell you, virtue far exceeds beauty. Many a man has made the mistake of falling in love with a dimple and then marrying the whole woman. He found out later that he married someone who did not have that inner beauty. And the word virtue here really means moral strength. And then the Bible says that because of this, her husband can trust her.
Look in verse 11 of this chapter. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her.
What does that mean?
Well, it means, my dear friend, that she's going to be honest. She's going to be wise, she's going to be loyal, she's going to be prudent. You can trust her with the bank account. You don't have to worry about foolish expenditures and selfish demands.
Someone wrote these words, theirs was a perfect marriage. But for one feminine flaw. He was fast on the deposit, but she was quicker on the draw.
Now, the Bible says here that the heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, and she will do him good. Good. and not evil all of the days of her life. That is, she will do him good in all ways. and she will do him good.
All ways. And so you think here of her great worth, and then you think of her good works. Begin to read now in verse 13. She seeketh wool and flax. And worketh willingly with her hands.
She is like the merchants' ships. She bringeth her food. from afar. And as Ann Landers has told us, her work is not all glamour. Chauffeur, maid, cook, referee, philosopher, rescue squad, hostess, tutor, psychiatrist, put them all together, she said, and they spell mother.
It's work. A lot of work. But it is worth it if the Lord Jesus Christ is in it.
Now, the New American Standard translates it this way: Not only does she do it willingly, but the New American Standard says she does it in delight. It is her delight to do it because she's doing it as unto the Lord. I think that I read somewhere that Mrs. Billy Graham has above her kitchen sink these words written, Divine services held here three times a day. She's talking about when she's washing dishes to her.
And look, if you will, in verse 14, convenience is not her most important factor. The Bible says she's like the merchant ships. She bringeth her food from afar. That is, she is a wise shopper. She is a nutritionist.
She goes extra miles to get the best and to get a bargain. She's not sold over to junk foods and fast foods. I heard about one of these working women whose husband complained he wanted a hot breakfast. She gave him a match and said, Set your cornflakes on fire.
Now, It's not the kind of mama that we're talking about here. She's she's she's one. Who knows how to make everything work. Really, sincerely. A lot of women who think that they're adding uh to the uh family finances by working.
If you were to add up everything, That you spend on clothes and gasoline, the extra insurance, the babysitting, the fast foods, the eating out. All of these things, you may not be putting as much in the bank as you really think you are. But here God speaks, first of all, of her great worth. And then God speaks of her good works, and then God speaks of her godly worship. Look, if you will, in verse 15.
She riseth also while it is yet night. and giveth food to her household. And a portion to her maidens.
Now, I used to wonder about this verse because she has some maids who help her in this house. And this verse says she gets up early to prepare them food. I always thought that the maids were the ones who helped prepare, and yet she's waiting on the maidens. And I read this in the. Amplified Bible, and it's very interesting.
This is what the Amplified Bible says: She rises while it is yet night. And gets through communion with her God, Spiritual food for her household. The idea is, and I really believe it is true, she's getting up to have a quiet time with the Lord. And the Bible goes on to say in verse 30 that she is one who fears the Lord. I cannot tell you the times that I have awakened to find my wife.
Already awake. Singing hymns to our Lord, or to walk in and find her on her knees, or with her Bible open, studying and preparing her heart for the day. And I think that's the exact picture that our Lord has here.
Well, you say, if I had all these maids that this gal must have had, I could do the same thing, preacher.
Well, let me tell you something, friend. In this day when this was written, servants were not a luxury. Not a luxury at all. The modern woman who has no maid at all has more luxuries than the woman of this day. I mean, we're talking about washers and dryers and stoves and refrigerators, and you wouldn't want to trade places for anything.
But here is a woman of godly worship who's getting up early to have her quiet time with the Lord.
Now, I want you to notice the next thing. Fourthly, I want you to notice her genuine wisdom. Her genuine wisdom. Notice in verse 16: she considereth the field and buyeth it. With the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.
She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms. She perceiveth that her merchandise is good. Her lamp goeth not out by night. This speaks of her wisdom. This was indeed a wise woman.
Did you know she knew how to make investments? Look, if you will, in verse 16. She considers a field and buys it. She dabbled in real estate. Can a woman do that and be a good mother?
Of course. But her business investments were not at the expense of her homemaking duties. As you read this, they were not at the expense of the home, they were an extension of the home. And if you are a lady and have outside income, I salute you and congratulate you. And if you have to work to put food on the table, I take off my hat to you and I admire you.
That's all fine and good, and that is well. But you need to ask yourself this question: does what you do enhance your home or does it take away from it? Does it give you an independent spirit from your husband? Or does it put you in competition with your husband? If it does, then it is contrary to the spirit of the word of God.
Now look in verse 17 and you're going to see in her genuine wisdom that not only does she have financial wisdom, she has physical wisdom. She knows how to take care of her body. The Bible says she girdeth her loins with strength and strengtheneth her arms. She's into aerobics. She knows how to eat right.
She knows how to exercise. She knows how to take care of herself. She doesn't let herself go. You know, some women say, well, you know, I'm already married.
So why chase a streetcar after you've caught it?
Well, I won't tell you, lady, you'd be very wise if you keep yourself Physically right. Notice verse 18. She knows economics. She studies. She's able to stretch a dollar.
The Bible says she perceiveth that her merchandise is good. Her lamp goeth not out by night. This woman is a scholar. What he's talking about here is her genuine wisdom. Then I want you to see something else.
I want you to see what I'm going to call her generous welfare. Look in verses 19 and 20. She layeth her hands to the spindle.
Now, boys and girls, the spindle is what they made thread with in that day because they couldn't go down and buy thread in the store and cloth in the store, and her hands hold the distaff. She stretcheth out her hand to the poor. Yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.
Now, it's obvious as you read this that this woman, this wise woman, this maximum mom, has learned some real skills. We've already seen she's a nutritionist, she's a shopper, she knows economics, she knows investments, and now she can work with her hands. She knows how to make things with her hands. We're going to see later on. They're so great that she could sell them and make money.
And when she makes money with these things, then she knows how to go next door to a poor neighbor and take care of that neighbor. She is a philanthropist. She is reaching out to people in need. She's not just selfish taking care of her own. Here is a woman who knows how to minister to other people who are hurting.
And what an impact that must have made on her children, her generous welfare. She stretcheth out her hand to the poor. And then I want you to notice something else, ladies. Her grand wardrobe. Look, if you will, in verses 21 and 22.
The Bible says she's not afraid of the snow for her household. for all her household are clothed with scarlet. She maketh herself coverings of tapestry. Her clothing is silk. and purple.
Now don't get the idea that this is just a washerwoman. Friend, this is an elegant lady.
Now, why does the Bible say in verse 21 that It speaks there of scarlet. You see that? And then it speaks of the snow. She's not afraid of the snow for her household or all clothed with scarlet. Uh Scarlet.
Wool was about the only thing that could be dyed with scarlet. What he's saying is that here is a woman who has dressed her children warmly. She's not sending them out half-dressed. They are well taken care of. But not only is she taking care of her children.
She's taking care of herself. She is fashion conscious. I mean, she she looks good. When she steps out of the house, Tapestry and silk are on her. She knows what she's doing.
Again, ladies. The Bible never ever says that because you're saved that you ought to be plain or dowdy? Not at all. Not at all. As a matter of fact, the Bible puts a premium All looking good.
You know, sometimes a woman will come to me and say, you know, Pastor, I'm a. I'm afraid my husband's running around on me.
Well, if he is, God will judge him. But you know, sometimes You look and You say, you don't have the courage to say what you want to say. You know He's been out there in the working world all day long, and these women are all dressed up and, you know, as they do, their hair all piled up on their head, clicking around on high heels. And he comes home and She meets him in a faded house coat and a different colored slipper on each foot. Hair done up in coat hangers.
And uh She says, Well, I'm just afraid he's running around. This lady, listen. I'm going to tell you something, that's no excuse for any man. But oh, this woman was so wise.
So wise. She seemed to find time for all of these things. Her children are well dressed. She's well dressed. But not only notice her grand wardrobe.
Notice her gifted wifehood. Notice her relationship to her husband. Verses 23 through 25. Her husband is known in the gates. when he sitteth among the elders of the land.
She maketh fine linen, and selleth it, and delivereth girdles unto the merchant. Strength and honor are her clothing, and she shall rejoice in time to come.
Now she is to her husband a help. Meat. She is a completer. an enhancer to her husband. The Bible says that her husband is known in the gates.
Now, the gates were the place of commerce in this day. It's like her husband being known in City Hall or in the courthouse square. That's what he's talking about. Her husband Is a well-known citizen. But because God here is extolling the wife and not the husband.
The implication is very clear. that he is what he is because she is what she is. And I can say that without equivocation, stutter or stammer, and know I'm standing in the pulpit and know that thousands of ears are listening and know that God above is listening. I know I am what I am today. Not only because of God, but because of my precious wife.
I know that. beyond any. shadow of doubt or peradventure. And that's what he's saying here. Her husband.
Is known in the gates, she is a woman who is behind her husband, encouraging her husband.
Somebody has well said. behind every good man. There is a good woman and a surprised mother-in-law. And I believe that is definitely true. A woman is to a man.
What a wind is to a fire. She can fan it up. or blow it out.
Now look again, if you will, in verse 24. She's a businesswoman. She makes fine linen. She sells it. She delivers girdles unto the merchant.
This seamstress woman. She knows her migma. You know, earlier it said that she bought a field. And then she planted a vineyard? Where'd she get the money to buy that field?
Well, evidently, she knows how to make things work. She is a very wise, a very astute woman. But again, I want you to notice: all that she does is not in competition with her husband, but to enhance what they do, it does not take away from the home, it lends to the home. And I like especially verse 25: strength. And honor are her clothing.
Now, she's not just clothed with silk and tapestry, but with strength and honor. And the Bible says she shall rejoice in time to come.
Now, what does that mean? It means that a clothing is dignity. I mean when this woman walks into the room, you're aware of her presence. She has a calm. and a gentle spirit.
And bad news does not cause her to stampede. Under stress. She can smile at the future. She shall rejoice in time to come. I was reading about a businessman.
whose business just caved in. I mean, he just lost it all. And he came home to his wife. and told her, honey, we're having to move out. of our beautiful home.
They went into bankruptcy. Everything was gone. They came. to a little apartment. And they sat down, these people who had had so much.
And he looked at her and his Shoulders just went over. And he looked around at that little apartment and he said, Well, Here we are. And she looked at him and smiled. And she said no. Here We are.
I like that. Here. We are. A husband and a wife together. That's what this verse is talking about.
Strength and honor are her clothing, and she shall rejoice in time to come.
Yes, I thank God for her godly wifeship, but I want you to notice her gracious words. Look, if you will, now in verse 26 and verse 27. She openeth her mouth with wisdom. And in her tongue is the law of kindness. She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.
Now, here's a woman. Who has control of her tongue? Look, she opens her mouth with wisdom. In her tongue is the law of kindness. Do you know why this is?
Do you know why she's not screeching at her kids? Do you know why she's not whining at her husband? Do you know why she can talk, why she has this dignity and poise and grace? Because she's already been up early in the morning. She's had her quiet time with God.
Her life is well ordered and that's the reason that she has this well-ordered life. Her heart is at peace with God. When you, dear lady or sir, lash out at others, it tells more about you than almost anything else. If you're one who just simply is lashing out, lashing out, lashing out, you're a person who's not at peace with yourself. And if you're not at peace with yourself, it's because you're not at peace with God.
And if you're not at peace with God, it is because you have not had this quality time, this priority time with Almighty God. Notice her gracious words. And then, last of all, notice what I want to call her glowing witness. Her glowing witness. Look, if you will, now in verse 28: her children.
Rise up and call her Blessed. Her husband also. And he praiseth her. Many daughters have done virtuously. But thou excellest them all.
Favor is deceitful. And beauty is vain? But a woman Who feareth the Lord? She shall be praised. Give her the fruit of her hands.
and let her own works. Praise her. In the gates.
Now, what he's talking about here is her glowing witness, her witness to her children. Her children rise up and call her blessed, and I don't think there could be any greater reward. The Apostle John said, I have no greater joy than to know that my children walk in the truth. Her children. Rise up and call her blessed.
Kate Wiggins said this: Most of the good and beautiful things in life come by twos. and by threes and by dozens and hundreds. There are plenty of roses, stars, sunsets, rainbows, brothers and sisters, aunts and cousins, but there's only one mother in the whole world. Nobody can take your place. Oh, her witness to her children.
And then there's the witness to her husband. Her husband will praise her. And by the way, sir. If God has given you a good wife. Her price is far above rubies.
You need to give her the paycheck of praise and admiration. You need to tell her over and over and over and over again, and you can never tell her enough. how much you love her. How much you praise God for her, how much you thank God for her, and by the way. This illustration here of this virtuous woman, I think it probably says more about her husband than it says about her.
Because evidently, he is somebody who has loved her and prayed for her and encouraged her and freed her to be the kind of a woman that she could be. But there's not only her witness to her children, not only her witness to her husband, but there's her witness to her community. Look in verse 31: Give her the fruit of her hands and let her own works praise her in the gates. I'm telling you, mom. You'll do more by raising godly children.
As a testimony, I'm for community involvement, and I thank God for all of the different clubs. But I heard about one woman. Who was a member of this thing and that thing, you know. She was the second vice president for the Society of Prevention of Cruelty for Orphaned Grandmothers with Athletes' Foot. And she was this and this and this.
Finally, when uh she died. They put on our tombstone. Here lies Mary Smith. She was clubbed to death.
Now, she was a member of this, and this, and this. But now listen. Listen, I mean really listen to them. When you get to the bottom line, I mean the bottom. Bottom line.
What could be better than to have children to say, I love you, Mama? Thank you for being that kind of a mama. Her children rise up and call her blessed. Her husband DePraiser. and the community to say.
It was a godly. and a good woman. My dear friend, we have been sold a bill of goods in this day and age in which we live. All of this that this dear woman did, she did because Jesus enabled her. And she was beautiful.
She may have been outwardly, the Bible doesn't say. But I know she was inwardly. because she was a woman. a virtue.
Now, if that's made you feel inadequate, ladies. I'm going to tell you again. That's a guide. That's a goal. That's an ideal.
but it's one we can aim for. Amen. Do you know Jesus? You know, a dear friend, You can't be a good son, you can't be a good daughter, you can't be a good father, you can't be a good mother. You can't be a good brother, you can't be a good sister without Jesus.
Father, I pray today that If there are any in this congregation who are not truly saved. that today They will say an everlasting Yes to Jesus. Receive him into their heart. as Lord and Saviour. In His dear name I pray.
Amen. If you would like to learn more about how you can know Jesus or deepen your relationship with him, simply click the Discover Jesus link on our website, lwf.org. For a copy of this message or additional resources, visit our online store at lwf.org or call 1-800-274-5683. Thank you.
