Known for his unique ability to simplify profound truth so that it can be applied to everyday life, Adrian Rogers was one of the most effective preachers, respected Bible teachers, and Christian leaders of our time. Thanks for joining us for this message. Here's Adrian Rogers. Mark chapter 10. And in verse 13, we'll begin reading.
Mark chapter 10. And verse 13. And they brought young children to him. that he should touch them, and his disciples rebuked those that brought them. But when Jesus saw it, he was much displeased, and he said unto them, suffer or allow the little children to come unto me.
and forbid them not. For of such is the kingdom of God. Verily I say unto you, that whosoever shall not receive the kingdom of God as a little child, He shall not enter therein. And he took them up in his arms, and he put his hands upon them. and blessed.
them. I want to talk to you about the care and maintenance. of your child.
Now suppose when uh you went to the hospital. Or your little baby to be born, someone were to give you a notice that said something like this. Congratulations. Your baby has come complete with all of the standard equipment.
However, Yours is a custom-made model and there's not another like it in all of the earth. Warning? Your baby has been carefully crafted. and is extremely delicate. Be certain to follow the manufacturer's instructions.
or there may be a complete Breakdown.
Now folks. A number of people have failed to follow the instructions. And there has been a complete Breakdown. What is the cause?
Well one. is fathers who failed. Dads who have failed to provide stability, leadership, and character and strength for the family. We've got dads today who are preoccupied with business. With sports, With sex.
with everything else except raising the children. But not only failing fathers, we have misdirected and misguided mothers. Mothers who have a different standard and a different priority. than old-fashioned mothers used to have. The Bible clearly warns in the book of Proverbs chapter 29 and verse 15 that a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame.
And yet, America's children are being left to themselves, and the television has become the major babysitter. These children are farmed out to daycare centers or other places. I've already said that we respect the woman who must work to put bread on the table and a roof on the head and clothes on the back. But what about those who are working for the luxuries, not the necessities? Do you know that the Television now has taken the place of the mother.
and it has become America's babysitter. Do you know what your children are watching on television? Did you know that alcohol Listen to me. is served ten times more. than any other drink on television.
The next is coffee. But for every cup of coffee that's served on television, there'll be some. serving of an alcoholic beverage. Every time your child sees somebody drink something, or most of the time on television it will be an alcoholic Beverage. If there's a sexual liaison, it is depicted as outside the marriage relationship.
It is either adultery or fornication or sodomy. The reason that many people think their children are doing so well is that many people don't know what their children are doing. Yet God has given us Some rules. In his manual, On the care, And the nurture of children. I want to make the message very simple.
and not complex. And I want you moms and you dads to say, Pastor, I'm going to take a goal to do three things with my child. Number one. I want to learn how to communicate with my child. What a bundle of potentiality God has given you.
to teach that child and to train that child. The Bible says in Proverbs chapter 22 and verse 6, train up a child in the way that he should go. And when he is old, he will not depart from it.
Now, in this area of communication, let me give you some steps. Number one. Begin early. Get this in your mind now. Begin early.
When do you start training a child? As soon as that child is born, you say, oh no, oh yes. As soon as that child is born, that child should be laid in its mother's arms for that bonding. That is there. That training cannot begin too soon.
It is virtually impossible to spoil a child the first year of life. That child must be loved and loved and loved and loved some more. The Bible says, train up a child in the way that he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it. Listen to Proverbs chapter 19 and verse 18. Chasten thy Son while there is hope.
That is, while he is young. before he gets too old to be chastened. Proverbs 13 and verse 24. He that spareth his rod hateth his son, but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes. And that word betimes literally means he chastens him early.
He chastens him at the right time. He doesn't wait until it's too late. It is amazing. what little children can learn. Think about it.
I have a grandson who is over at my house. I watch my grandson. Just a year-old child. And I watched that child as he is beginning to learn. And listen, I said, where are your teeth?
He opened his mouth. and pointed to his teeth. Isn't that amazing? I mean, that's my grandson did that. Think about that.
Isn't that phenomenal? Did you ever hear of such a thing? Listen, folks. That Little Child A year old. is learning a language as difficult as English.
Think about it. Many of you say, oh, I'd like to learn another language other than my own. I'm talking about little children. If you think that's amazing, did you know some little kids can learn Japanese? And some learn all kinds of exotic languages.
They are learning. Listen to what God's word says in Isaiah chapter 28, verses 9 and 10. To whom shall he that is God speak knowledge? And whom shall he make to understand doctrine? Listen.
Them that are weaned from the milk and drawn from the breasts. Did you hear what God says? God said, give me a child. who is just being weaned from his mother's milk. And I'll teach that child doctrine.
Think about it. And how is he going to do it?
Well, he goes on to tell us in verse 10, for precept must be upon precept. Precept upon precept. Line upon line, line upon line, here a little, there a little, here a little, there a little. Oh friend, listen, you train a child. Just with a tidbit here, a tidbit there, a tidbit here, and the child is listening, absorbing, absorbing, absorbing.
What a wonderful time. to teach when we have these little children. I'll tell you why. Their curiosity level is at an all-time high. What is the favorite word of the little toddler in your house other than no?
Why? Why, Daddy? Why, Mama? Why? Don't get exasperated when they keep asking why.
That's a God-given instinct. They are a little intellectual sponge. What an opportunity because the curiosity factor is so high. And the trust factor is so high. Little children will believe you.
So be careful what you tell little children. Children will believe what you say. What a wonderful opportunity. As a matter of fact, Jesus said that we who are adults need to have a trust factor like little children. We need to become like little children.
Children have a God-given innate ability to believe. That's the reason the Bible tells us in 2 Timothy 3, verse 14, Paul says, but continue, he's talking to Timothy, continue thou in the things which thou hast learned. and has been assured of.
Well, evidently Timothy was a great theologian.
Well, how did he learn these things and how was he assured of them? Knowing from whom thou hast learned them, now watch it. and that from a child From a child. Thou hast known the holy scriptures, which are able to make thee wise unto salvation through faith which is in Jesus Christ. When should you begin?
You can't begin too soon. Tomorrow that baby won't be rocked. Tomorrow, that toddler won't be asking why. Tomorrow, that teenager will not need help with his homework. Begin early.
Secondly, You must learn to see that your child is unique. There's not another one like your child. That's the reason I said you'd become the owner of a brand new baby, but yours is a custom model. Our scripture, Proverbs 22, verse 6, says, Train up a child in the way that he should go. And when he is old, he shall not depart from it.
The word way, and the way that he should go, is a Hebrew word. That literally roots back to the idea of bending a bow. People would select A rod out of a tree, in order to make a bow to shoot an arrow with, and that bow would have a particular bend in it, a particular asset in it. And that's the idea that your child comes into this life with what we would call a bent. a proclivity A disposition.
A temperament. God put together uniquely in His genes and His chromosomes a child that has a particular way that He should go.
So The way you raise one child is not the way you would raise another child. Children are different. You look at the children in the Bible. The first two children, Cain and Abel. Look how different they were.
One of them had a disposition that was completely different from the other disposition, and Cain slew Abel. Both of them came from the same womb. You think in the Bible about Absalom and Solomon. These were both children of David.
Solomon Was David's son who reigned in his stead? Absalom was David's son who rebelled against him. Same family. Think about Jacob and Esau. Same family.
But think how different Jacob and Esau were. I think about our four children, how unique they are. how different each one of them is. And how we need to find out from each child the way that he should go. And friend, there's nobody at daycare who can do that for you.
Nobody can do that for you. Did you know Thomas Alva Edison? was sent home from school, and you know what the teacher said about Thomas Alva Edison? said he's too dumb to learn. and sent him home.
You know what his mama said? His mama said, I know my boy. And he is not stupid. He's smart. And I'll teach him myself.
And she did. The problem was that the teacher was so dumb she couldn't realize how smart the boy was. Not that he was so dumb. You see, every child is different. I'm not trying to put a guilt trip on those of you.
who must put your children in daycare, but I'm telling you, you've got to double up somewhere else. You've got to see to it, dear friend, that you know the unique proclivities in your child. See your child as unique before God and learn to communicate with that child creatively. Listen to Deuteronomy chapter 6, verses 6 and 7. These words which I command thee this day shall be in thine heart.
And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children.
Now watch it. and shall talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way. when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.
Now people are always saying, Pastor, how do we have family worship? How do we have family altar? How do we teach our children? I believe in family altar, but I don't believe that family altar is the best time to teach the children. If you try to make your major teaching family altar, your kids will get sick of it.
It'll be like another class. You sit still while we end still. The family altar will become like cod liver oil. A dose of day will keep the devil away. And they won't want it.
Let your family altar be brief. Oh, there'll be times when you can have extended times, when it gets to be fun, or they're asking questions and they want to know more. You might talk for hours.
Sometimes our family's going into the night past midnight discussing the word of God. But old friend, if you'll learn to teach the Bible creatively, the Bible says when you rise up, when you lie down, when you walk in the way, that's the way Jesus taught his disciples. He said, behold, a sower went out to sow. Consider the lilies. Everything that Jesus saw was an opportunity to teach.
How many wonderful ways there are to teach your children. Be creative. And hey, there's nothing wrong with having fun. As a matter of fact, let me tell you how to raise kids. Be firm, be fair, be fun.
That's it. That's the whole thing, just in a nutshell. And let them enjoy Bible games, Bible stories, Bible baseball, Christian books, Christian music. Learn how to challenge your kids. We don't get creative enough.
There's a motivational speaker. His name is Charles Tremendous Jones. And he's a great guy and he knows how to motivate people, but he's a Christian, he loves the Lord. This is what he said. I thought it was a tremendous idea.
He said to his boy, When his boy was 14, he said, son, in two years, you're going to be able to get a driver's license. And you're going to want a car. And he said, son, I want you to have a car. And I want to help you to pay for your car, but son, I'll tell you what I'm going to do.
Son, I have some books I want you to read. and write a report on. And I'll give you $10. For every book that you read, and write a report on it.
Now he said, get started. And he said, remember. If you read as you ought to read, if you read in style, You drive in style. But if you read like a bum, you'll drive like a bum. I think that's a smart father.
Now of course it'll take more than $10 a book today to get that kid a car. But the point is that he knew how to salt him. He knew how to encourage him. He didn't simply ram it down his throat. Listen.
Communicate creatively. And then I would say this in communicating with your kids. Learn to be real. I have many faults. And I'm not about to let my children stand up here and testify to my faults because they might be too honest.
But I'll tell you one thing. I'm not afraid to say this. My kids know I'm real. I'm not bragging. They know I love God.
They know their mother loves God. They know I'm not a phony. They know I'm not a hypocrite. They know their mother is not a hypocrite. They know we believe what we preach and we believe what we teach.
You see, and one of the reasons they believe that is we've been real enough to admit when we've made mistakes. Not only have I had to apologize to my Wife, I've had to apologize to my children. Because I fail and we all fail. But children do not demand perfection, but children hate hypocrisy. They can spot a phony a mile away.
One girl said to her dad, Dad? You taught us how to succeed. But daddy, you didn't teach us how to fail. We need to teach our kids how to fail. We need to let them see our faults.
We need to let them see our failures. We need to come to them and say, sweetheart, I was wrong the way I talked to your mama. I've asked Mama to forgive me and I've asked God to forgive me and I want to ask you to forgive me. What I said or what I did was wrong. Will you forgive me?
For I spoke harshly to you. Or I misjudged you. Friend, listen, be real. Your kids don't demand perfection, but they do demand reality.
So what I'm saying is number one, communication, okay? Number two, here's the second thing. Number two, not only communication, but correction. Learn to correct your child. Ephesians chapter 6 and verse 4.
and ye fathers. Provoke not your children to wrath. but bring them up in the nurture and the admonition of the Lord.
Someone has pointed out that some men spend more time training their dogs Than they do the children. Then they tie the dog up at night and let the children run wild. Fathers? Provoke not your children to wrath, but bring them up in the nurture and the admonition of the Lord. And that literally means in the discipline and the admonition of the Lord.
Now why should you learn to discipline your child? Let me give you about five or six reasons why you ought to discipline your child. Number one. If you have any love for that child at all, you're going to discipline him. Listen to the word of God.
Proverbs 13, verse 24. He that spareth his rod hateth his son. But he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes. You say, well, I just love him so much, I can't discipline him. You don't love him, you love you.
It just makes you uncomfortable to do it, and that's why you don't do it. God calls discipline love. He says in Hebrews 12, verse 6, for whom the Lord loveth, he chasteneth. and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth. Any father who loves a son or a daughter.
is going to chastise that son, that daughter, when they need it. You're not better than God. My dad used to tell me, son, I'm whipping you because I love you. I was sure he loved me better than my brother. Secondly, not only because of the love for the child, but because of the nature of human nature.
Believe it or not, The Bible teaches that we are by nature children of wrath. The seed of rebellion is inherent in any child. Proverbs 22 verse 15, foolishness is bound in the heart of a child.
Now you may not believe that, but that's the Word of God. Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child. but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.
Now folks, that's the Word of God. Every time when you talk about discipline, there's somebody going to accuse you of brutality. But you listen to the Word of God.
Now, children need to understand that there is a moral power in life. They need to understand that they cannot have their own way every time. And if you do not restrain that child, Here's human nature. is going to lead him to be a rebel. That child must learn.
Respect. And Legitimate. Fear. Just as a man has the fear of God in his heart, and still loves God. A child ought to have a legitimate fear.
I hesitate to use the word because of the connotation. but an awesome respect for authority. He who fears God the most loves God the best. There's no competition between the fear of God and the love of God. That doesn't mean we quiver and quake in the sight of God, nor should your children quiver and quake in your sight.
I'll tell you another reason that you need to do this. My dear friend, when you learn to correct that child, you're going to spare yourself a lot of heartache. and a lot of disgrace. Juvenile delinquents are generally the result of delinquent parents. Proverbs 29 verse 15, the rod and the reproof give wisdom.
But a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame. Proverbs 29 verse 17, Correct thy son and he shall give thee rest. Yea, he shall give delight unto thy soul. The first 12 years of a child's life. He can learn certain things through the seat of his pans.
that he will only learn later. at the cost of great suffering and heartache.
Now parents You need to have an eye on the future and quit trying to win a popularity contest with your kids. I'm going to tell you another reasons you need to correct them. You may literally save that child from going to hell. Proverbs 23 verse 13. Withhold not correction from the child.
For if thou beatest him with a rod, he shall not die. Can you remember the times when you thought you were going to die when your dad was whipping you? I thought many times I was within an inch of death. But there was no danger. God goes on to say, thou shalt beat him with a rod.
and shall deliver his soul from hell. What does that mean? That means that the child that does not respect authority in the home is not going to respect authority in the school. He's not going to respect authority in the government. He's not going to respect authority in the pulpit.
He's not going to respect the authority of God's word.
Now, let me say a word here. The old King James English here sounds so harsh. beating a child with a rod. God does not have here at all anything that even smacks. of brutality.
to a child. God gave little children a spanking place. And God says that If you teach that child there is a moral authority in this world, You've taken the first step to leading that child to salvation. Listen to the word again. Withhold not correction from the child.
Thou shalt beat him with a rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell.
Now those are some reasons you ought to do it. Let me give you some ways to do it, some rules for discipline. Again, just like communication, you must start early. When should you begin to discipline? The Bible says, chasten thy son when there is hope, while there is hope.
And let not thy soul spare for his crying. Begin early. When should you begin? How early? When he or she is old enough to knowingly and willingly disobey.
Never use corporal punishment on a child. Four mistakes. such as spilt milk. or an accident. A bowel movement or something like that.
Never whip a child for something like that. That's terrible to do that. Never whip a child or spank a child for something over which the child has no control. But when you see rebellion And they'll test you early. Then, dear friend, there will come a time for discipline.
But that discipline need not be a spanking. Spanking is not the first act, it is the last resort. God says when he rebukes us, as many as I love, I rebuke. and chase them. First the rebuke.
before the chastisement. It may not be necessary that you whip at all. Speaking comes before spanking. There are times for an explanation. There are times for a warning.
There are times for a second chance, a third chance, a fourth chance, but there comes a time Well, you must say we're going to show who's in control in this home. There comes a time when authority must be laid down. When you do that, young parents, Be sure to keep your word. Do not make idle threats. Don't say if you do that again, you're going to get a spanking, and then the child not get a spanking.
If the rapture comes, you spank them on the way up. You make certain that you keep your word. And if a spanking is due, Administrate it promptly. The Bible says in Ecclesiastes chapter 8 and verse 11, Because sentence against an evil work is not executed speedily, therefore the hearts of the sons of men is fully set in them to do evil. The punishment ought to follow the crime as quickly as possible.
A word of caution. Never ever Chastise your child in front of other people. if you can help it. Never humiliate the child. Never embarrass The child.
When chastisement is necessary, let the husband and the wife present a united front. Let them both agree. One may even hold the child while the other administers the punishment. Never let a child play one parent against another. Never, never argue about the child's punishment in front of the child.
The child will play one parent against another. When you do administer corporal punishment, do a good job.
Now, that doesn't mean that you'd cause physical harm. I want to make that abundantly clear. But do a good job. The Bible puts it this way, let not thy soul spare for his crime. You see, if you do a good job, your spanking days may be over.
Very soon. A good spanking can last for a long time. And after you have given that spanking, Then pick the child up. Love the child. Express your love to that child.
But Never let the child get the idea that it was worth whatever he did because the spanking really didn't amount to much anyway. Always, always discipline in love. Our scripture, Ephesians chapter 6 and verse 4, and ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath. Have you ever seen folks deal with kids like this? Have you ever watched a mother in a Grocery store, whack at a kid.
What? Yeah. That's terrible. Our whack of kids say, get out from in front of the television set, whack. That's not discipline.
All you're showing is that you're a bully. that you don't understand what discipline is. You must discipline in love. The Bible says in James chapter 1 and verse 20, The wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God. When you chastise a child, remember it is correction, not revenge.
So many of us sometimes get so angry. that we don't understand that we're to have ourselves in Control. I heard about a man who was pushing a little baby carriage, and in that stroller was a child who was. just crying and screaming and The father was saying, now, now, Albert.
Now, Albert, careful, Albert, easy, Albert. There, Albert. Take it easy, Albert. A woman said, sir, I've never seen such patients. how gentle you are.
With little Albert. Oh, he said, No, he's Billy. I am Albert. Easy, Albert.
Now, the Bible mentions. Chastising a child with a rod. Why is that so? You find an object. and chastise the child with an object.
You don't strike a child with your hand. Let your hand be the object of love. and caressing. even in going to get that object. And you spank only after an explanation.
Sweetheart, here's why daddy must do this. Because daddy told you to do thus and such and you didn't do it. Or because you did something that you ought not to have done. And daddy told you if you did this. You must be punished.
And Daddy wants you to know he loves you. But daddy's got to keep his word. And then with that object, With firmness but gentleness. in the right place. Never striking a child about the face or anything like that, but in that spanking place that God has given.
You. Discipline in love and in patience. And let me say this, and here's where many parents fail in disciplining a child. Remember to work for that child's repentance toward God. When a child disobeys his parents, do you know what that child has done?
He sinned against God. It's not you primarily he sinned against. He sinned against God. And if that child will learn that to honor his father and his mother is one of the ten commandments, that thou shalt not lie, thou shalt not steal, thou shalt not bear false witness, thou shalt not covet, all of these things are commands of God. And so say, child, listen.
Daddy's heart is broken. Because God doesn't want us to behave that way.
Now be careful. You cannot be the Holy Spirit. You can pray for repentance in that child's heart. You can try to lead that child to repentance. But remember, the Holy Spirit must do that.
But seek for and pray for and guide that child to repentance. After it's over, give the child a hug. Let the child know that you've received that child. Kiss away the tears. Send them out to play.
Never. Hold grudges. Never hold grudges.
Now let me mention the third thing and I'll be finished. First of all, I've talked about communication. Secondly, I've talked about correction.
Now let me tell you that those two things ought to lead to the third thing that ought to be the goal and aim of every parent. Communication, correction, and conversion. to lead your child to Jesus Christ. That ought to be the solemn and holy goal and aim of your life. is to bring that child to faith in Christ.
Seek an early salvation for your child. Your child does not have to have a PhD in sin before he or she can get saved. It is not unusual for little children to get saved when they're raised in a Christian home. Listen to me, folks. 75% of all of the people who are saved are saved before the age of 15.
Did you know that? 75% of all people who are saved are saved before the age. Of 15. Matthew Henry. Who has given us Matthew Henry's commentary on the Bible, one of the best devotional commentaries on the Bible, was saved at the age of 11.
Jonathan Edwards, the great preacher who preached that famous sermon, Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God. was saved at the age of eight. Polycarp. One of the church fathers was Saved at the age of nine. He was burned at the stake for Christ when he was 90.
Do childhood conversions last? I guess so. He died for Jesus. At the age of 90. Charles Haddon Spurgeon.
I suppose the greatest Baptist preacher who ever lived. was saved at the age of 12. Charles Haddon Spurgeon later testified that he would have been saved at a much earlier age had somebody explained the gospel of Jesus Christ to him. I want to tell you something, friend. A survey showed.
That 90% of all Southern Baptist missionaries at home and abroad. 90%. were saved before the age of 11. Of all of our missionaries. And the average age of conversion was eight years old.
Don't get the idea that little children cannot believe in Jesus Christ. They can, they should. The main thing to watch for, dear friend, is is that child aware of the fact that he or she is a sinner. Not just that they've done some bad things, but when they're aware of this terrible thing called sin, and they're aware that God is righteous and holy. and that God punishes sin, then it is so easy to point them to Jesus.
Be careful that you do not push for premature decision. We do not want you to vaccinate your child with a mild form of Christianity, so the real thing will not take. But when you see that Holy Spirit conviction, parents be wise, present the Lord Jesus, ask your child if they'd like to receive Christ, and you as parents have the joy of leading your child to Christ, your responsibility is not to block that child and not to shove that child, but to guide that child. These three things. communication, correction, and conversion.
Make those your goal. Make those your aim. And I believe You'll be the parents. of a happy child. And you'll thank God.
that he gave them to you. Father, I thank you for your word. Lord, for the wonderful, wonderful truths. that you've given us concerning the care and the maintenance. of our children.
Lord, we know that we've all failed. I know that I failed in many ways with my children, but I thank you, Lord, that you saw the desire of my heart. And Lord, you were merciful. I thank you, God, that you help us. when we truly want your help.
Amen. If you would like to learn more about how you can know Jesus or deepen your relationship with him, simply click the Discover Jesus link on our website, lwf.org. For a copy of this message or additional resources, visit our online store at lwf.org. or call 1-800-274-5683. Thank you.
