How to Make a Home Beautiful

Pastor, teacher, and author Adrian Rogers has introduced people all over the world to the love of Jesus Christ and has impacted untold numbers of lives by presenting profound truth simply stated. Thanks for joining us for this message. Here's Adrian Rogers. Would you open your Bibles to Titus chapter 2? I want to talk to you about the home.

and how to make a home beautiful. You know, it's possible that you could live in a magnificent house. and have An ugly hole. And so we want to talk about how to have not just A fine, magnificent house. But how to have A beautiful home.

Titus chapter 2. Here's what he says, but speak thou the things which become Sound doctrine.

Now the word become means to make beautiful. For example, if a lady buys a new dress, And her husband says, that is becoming to you. What he means is that is very beautiful. That looks good on you.

Now, what he's saying here is To speak that which becomes sound doctrine, he's really saying to make truth. Beautiful. You have the same idea if you go down to verse 10. not purloining, but showing all good fidelity, that they may adorn the doctrine of God. Again, an adornment.

Is that which makes beautiful? This word here is the word literally that deals with cosmetics. that you might uh put on the cosmetics on the word of God. Adorn. the doctrine of God.

You can take truth and make it ugly or you can take truth and make it beautiful.

Some people use the Bible as a club rather than a sword. And so we need to do that which is becoming the sound doctrine, that which adorns the doctrine of God. You know Most Of our precious ladies look better with a little uh Low cosmetics? It doesn't hurt. I don't mean like you're growing your own penicillin or...

I've seen some, I don't know, they don't know that. A little is enough. Especially around the eyes. They look like a jack-o-lantern with a candle out. But They're to adorn themselves, and we can adorn the Gospel of God.

Male. We do have some ugly homes. And some of them are in some beautiful houses. We have a generation today that's lost its moorings. Our generation is like a ship at sea.

that has lost its moorings without a rudder. And without a compass, And I am very sad, even to the point almost of despair, but because I know God. I am not in despair. And it's not because we Are not trying. The sad thing is that we are drowning.

In a sea of information. Seminars, conferences. Marriage encounters and counselors. Ad nauseum We're on and on and on, ever learning and not able to come to the knowledge of the truth because, very frankly, All of these things are not based on the word of God. We've got to have a standard.

Without the standard, you and I may be watching the very death of marriage as we know it and the homicide of the home. There's some very real enemies out there. I mean very real enemies. Immorality, adultery, fornication. Homosexuality, abortion, sterilization.

radical feminism, juvenile delinquency, crime. Sexual rebellion. We're up against something that's very hard, and all of these things are like strands in a cord. that are just strangling the family.

Now God wants to make a home beautiful. And you know the key to a beautiful home is the wife and mother.

So, I want to talk to you about what the Bible has to say about being a godly mother. and helping that mother to have a beautiful home.

Now, let's continue to read now. We started in verse 1. Titus chapter 2. But speak thou the things which become or make beautiful sound doctrine. That the aged men be sober, grave, temperate, sound in faith, in charity, in patience.

Before it gets to the older. For women, He gets to the older men. And there's something wonderful about a man. Who can grow old gracefully? A godly old man, I think there's nothing more honorable, more beautiful than a godly old man.

The Bible says that his gray head. is a crown of glory to him. And he's to be the glory of his children. He's to be the glory of his grandchildren. And I want to say on the other hand that Satan has no happy old men.

He's got some wild and reckless young men. But he has No happy old man. I don't think there's anything uglier. than an ungodly old man. His eyes are like burned out sockets of lust.

His mouth. Is an open sewer. His mind is like a city dump. And all he's looking forward to is getting sicker and sicker until he dies. and then being stuck in a hole in the ground.

But a godly old man is a wonderful thing and a joy to be around. But let's fast forward because we're talking primarily to our ladies.

So look in verse 3. And he speaks here to the aged women likewise. that they be in behavior as becometh holiness, not false accusers. Not given to much wine. teachers of good things that they may teach the young women.

to be sober. to love their husbands. to love their children. To be discreet. Chaste.

Keepers at home. Good. Obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not Blaspheme.

Now as we talk about a godly woman who makes her house beautiful, her home beautiful. I want you to see about the what I'm going to call the legacy that she is to leave. She is to be teaching the younger children. She's to set an example. For the younger people.

And how is she going to do that? Verse 3 says: first of all, with some good old-fashioned holiness in behavior as becometh. Holiness. This speaks of the way she lived. It just speaks of her lifestyle.

How many really holy women? Do you know? I know one, I'm married to her. She is a Holy woman. And she's a joy to be around.

Actually, this word holiness, the scholars tell us, has something to do. with the priest as he's coming out of the temple. And he's been in there burning incense. And when he comes out of the temple, You can just smell. the incense in his garments.

I know people like that, that when you get around them, you just There's something about their presence that is just the perfume of God. in their lives.

Now that's the way an aged woman ought to be. She is to be holy in her lifestyle. And she is to be godly in her speech. Notice again it says she's not to be a false accuser. Do you see that in verse 3?

Let me just give it to you another way. Not to be a scandal monger. This word false accuser is the same word that we get our word devil from. The very word devil. Diabolo.

means someone who is casting slander about. It means a slanderer. Gossip is a disease. They get worse with age and some of the worst gossips are older people. And there's something very ugly about a home.

That is not a holy home. in a home that is filled with slander. and gossip. Because of the gossip. You like Satan.

Now, and also she's to be free from addictive things. Notice here, not given to much wine. When I say this, some people just perk up and they say, aha. That means I can be given to a little wine. I'm sorry about that, but that's not what this means.

When it says not giving them much wine, that's an idiom. Which says that she really is to stay away from wine totally, completely. We're talking about intoxicating wine. This is a combination of Three uh Greek words, me, me, which means not. And par P-A-R, it's a word we get our word parallel from.

And Oyanon Me paroinan. which means not close to wine. Not alongside of wine, somebody who not only doesn't drink it, but somebody who actually stays away from it. That's what the Bible teaches. And a woman A godly woman.

who is to leave a legacy. She's to be holy.

Now she is not to be a scandalmonger. And she's not to be addicted to substances and And certainly the spirit of this would include cigarettes and pills and Diet drugs, anything else that is addictive. Not only is she to set an example for the younger women, we're talking about the legacy she's to leave for the younger women. But she also must teach them. Look again in verses 4 and 5, that they may teach.

The young women. to be sober. to love their husbands. To love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the Word of God be not blaspheme. Who is going to teach younger women today?

to be homemakers.

Well, God says we need some older women who are going to teach this thing. And actually, it says, look at it, if you will, that which is good. Do you see that? that they may teach the young women. To be sober.

And verse five, to be discreet, chasekeepers at home. Good. The word good literally has the idea of values. It means family values. You know what we need in America today?

Some godly grandmamas. and some older women. who are going to be teaching these younger women to be homemakers. Our young ladies today are getting married and very frankly they know very little about homemaking. They spend a lot of money on the wedding, very little money getting ready for the marriage.

Okay.

Some of them get married, can't even cook. They don't even know the recipe for ice cubes. I know the recipe for ice cubes. is H2O squared. I can make ice cubes that'll melt in your mouth.

They don't know. The very basic things. Who's going to teach them? We had a group of high school seniors, graduating seniors, the girls, in our home. And I went out of the room, and Ms.

Rogers sat down and talked with these girls about just being. A godly Young lady. Looking forward to marriage, looking forward to having a home. We're going to talk a little bit more about that in a moment. The first thing I want you to notice is the legacy.

She is to leave. You mothers. And you grandmothers. And You ladies in the church. Who have experience somehow?

We need to get you with these younger women. But here's the second thing I want you to see. not only the legacy that she is to leave by setting an example and by teaching, But the love that she is to learn.

Now, what are the older women to teach the younger women? Look at it. Verse 4, that they may teach the young women to be sober. to love their husbands. to love the children.

To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blaspheme. Did you know the tutor teach? The younger women to love their children. Many women today don't really even know how to love their children. Have you ever child?

Well, let me tell you three things you can do. You can tell them. You can touch them and you can teach them. Tell them over and over again that you love them. You cannot tell them too many times that you love them.

touch them and teach them. day by day, line upon line, Precept upon precept, here a little, there a little. Did you know that many child abusers come from an abusive family? One of the great needs today is for Mothers to love children. The radical feminists have taught women today that having a career is perhaps more important than being a homemaker.

and material goods are more important than children. Psalm 127 says, Lo children are an inheritance of the Lord. and the fruit of the womb is his reward. We have a generation today that looks at children as burdens rather than blessings. There's something wrong in America when children are looked on as burdens rather than blessings.

When in America, We put to death a child in its mother's womb, which ought to be the safest place on earth, is rapidly becoming the most dangerous place. Our hearts go out to women who want children. And cannot have them. I've been in counseling sessions with wonderful people. What a shame it is for those who can have them.

and refuse for selfish reasons. And not to have these children. In the Bible, Women who have blessed this world have been women who have prayed for children, and God has answered their prayer. Sarah was barren until she was 90 years old, and she prayed. And God gave to Sarah Isaac.

Our Savior came from the line of Isaac. Rachel cried. She said, Oh God. Give me children. Or I die.

And God answered her prayer. and gave her Joseph. who delivered the nation of Israel. Ruth. Who was barren, wanted a child, prayed, and she found mercy and became the father of Obed.

who was the grandfather of David, Israel's greatest king. and from whose line came the Savior? Elizabeth was stricken in years and she prayed. And God opened her womb and gave to her John the Baptist. Jesus said, not a greater was born of woman than John the Baptist.

Hannah. Was in the holy place praying and sobbing so much that the great prophet. thought that Eli thought that perhaps she was drunk, but she said, I'm not drunk. I'm praying, asking God to give me a child, and God gave to Hannah little Samuel. became the mighty prophet of Israel.

The tragedy of abortion, its lack of love for children, is this. Who knows? whom we may have killed in the very womb. Perhaps the person who would have given this world the answer to cancer. Perhaps another Billy Graham.

Perhaps someone would have had the answer to the AIDS epidemic. Who knows what kind of a life we have snuffed out? Being a homemaker. It's not easy. Not glamorous.

But ladies and young ladies, I want to tell you there is no... higher calling. Fathers have influence on their children. But mothers make the greatest impression, and that is a fact.

Now the Bible teaches that that the older women are to teach the younger women to love their children. And number two, to love their husbands.

Now if she can be taught to love her husband, that means that she can love her love. love her husband. And we're talking about love, we're not talking about soap opera love. If you're watching those soap operas, my advice to you is cut it out. All that is about.

Is sex and immorality and perversion? That's all it's about. And you watch that long enough and you're going to become suspicious, you're going to be wondering, you know, I wonder if my husband is living that way. Love your husband. Mrs.

Biddle Graham said, It's your job to love your husband. It's God's job. to make him good. And so you think of the legacy she's to leave. And you think of the love that she's to learn.

This is what she's been taught.

Now let's shift gears and think a little bit about the lifestyle that she is to live. Verse 5, here's her lifestyle. She's to be discreet, chaste, keeper at home, good, obedient to her own husband, that the word of God be not blasphemed.

Now what does the word discreet mean?

Well, the word discreet means sober-minded, it means serious, it means sensible, it means using good judgment. She going to use good judgment in her shopping, in her nutrition, bookkeeping, decorating, in her physical culture. The Bible says when you find a wife, If you find a good thing, she'll do her husband good and not evil all the days of her life. And then look, not only discreet, but chaste. The word here means pure.

Not sexy, not foxy. Chase. Young lady, keep yourself pure. and save yourself for the one you're going to marry. Go to the marriage altar a Virgin.

Make that your purpose. Save yourself for the one that you're going to marry. And the older women need to be teaching the young women this. We have mothers today who are giving their daughters advice and birth control pills and all of these things. I can't believe that.

You had to teach them just the opposite, to be pure, to be chaste. And don't think that the high school is going to do it, the junior high school is going to do it. The last place on earth these kids need to learn about sexual morality is in the secular schools. Uh listen. Our moral sexual education will never work for good, always only for harm.

If it is not based with morals and Bible, proof. And you better see to it that your kids understand what the Bible teaches. Teach them to be Discreet to use good judgment. Teach them to be chaste, that is to be morally pure. and teach them to be keepers at home.

Does that mean she can't go out of the house? No. This Greek word comes from a word that literally means to be a housekeeper. That is a worker At home, it comes from two words, one meaning house and the other means to work. That means that her major responsibility is to keep the home.

Now we have about 50 million working mothers in America today. And approximately one out of every three mothers with children under three. Hold a full-time job. But being a homemaker is a full-time occupation. And I've said it often.

Heart is out, my hat is off to women who have to work. But if you're working in order to have a bigger house, a finer vacation, a nicer car, and not spending time with those children, especially when they're little. You're making a terrible mistake. 1 Timothy 5, verse 14, Paul says, I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children. Guide the house.

Give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully. The mother is to be the queen of the home. There is no higher calling and no greater career than to be a home. Maker. You say, well, we need that extra income.

Everybody today has these two incomes and we've gotten our lifestyle where we need that extra income.

Well, be very careful. that you evaluate need correctly and be very careful that you do your book work to find out just how much your wife may be making. I was reading where Chicago firm made a study and concluded that after all the added expenses and overhead are taken away, only about 10%. of the working mother's wages remain. Only about 10%.

Now that may be a very expensive 10%. And you say, well, Adrian, uh What do you know about it? You haven't had that experience.

Well I think I have. I worked my way through college. and through seminary. Joyce and I live from hand to mouth. God's hand arm out.

We got married after our first year in college. We'd been grade school sweethearts, high school sweethearts. We felt it was time to get married. And I'd not quite reach my 20s. But we got married and I was working my way through school.

Joyce was in school. Her father was paying her tuition. But we just decided that We're going to start a family. We're going to work.

Now I worked at many jobs. I worked as a fruit packer. I worked as a Bus boy. I worked as a butcher. Carpenter's helper.

Elevator mechanic. Use car salesman. I was good at that. Working inspecting houses for termites. I want to give you a testimony.

For for Seven years, seven years. of getting an education. Raising a family. My wife was able to stay home with her children. I was able to finish the school.

able to graduate. without owing anybody anything. by trusting the Lord. and tithing and working, it wasn't easy. It was worth it.

And I wouldn't take anything for letting Joyce be home with our little ones while we were going through school.

Now, we could have had some things that some of the other people had. But we didn't have them. I wore hand-me-down clothes. And we worked hard. But God honored that.

And I'm glad that we did that. I don't say it boastfully, and not everybody can do that, and God was good to us. We didn't have anything extra. We were like many young couples. We had to get that check down to the bank.

Each week. But God blessed and God honored. And I just believe that if at all possible, A woman is to stay home.

Now listen. You need to understand that this does not limit a woman. If you read Proverbs chapter 31, you're going to find out that a godly woman's activities include travel. and commerce. In agriculture?

and investments in property and charity. But she does not neglect her household. How do you measure whether how much outside interest a woman is to have? In my estimation, Here's the way you measure it. And it's very simple.

Does her outside work contribute to the home? or detract from it. It's just that simple. Does the thing that she's doing, whatever it is, read Proverbs chapter 31 and see: does it contribute to the home or detract from the home? The home is the center.

The most important part of our lives. This may seem like heresy to you. But my home is more important to me than this church. And if I had to choose between this church and my wife... I wouldn't have to think about it.

You can get another pastor. I've got one wife. The Bible says that if a man is a A pastor One of the prime requisites for being a pastor is that has a successful family. That is, if you're not doing it at home, don't stand in the pulpit and export it. And what we need to understand is that it is not business.

It is not education, it is not recreation, it is not government, it is not the church, it is the home. That is the basic unit of everything. And therefore all of the artillery of hell is leveled against the home. And our kids, many of our kids going off to college, everybody asks them this question, especially to the young ladies: what are you going to be? What are you going to do?

What are you going to be? And if she says, well, I want to be a wife and a mother, a what? Like that's some sort of a failure. Like you've missed it. If you want to be, oh, what a waste.

Friend, that is not a waste. Not a waste. That is the highest, deepest, sweetest, fullest, most meaningful thing that you can do. is to have a godly. Christian.

Home. Teach these young women. to be homemakers, keepers at home. This is what it says. And then next it says, teach them to be good.

Now the word good here doesn't mean not doing bad. What it literally means is to be kind-hearted. not just morally straight. Every home needs a heart, a person with a good heart. Not someone who is hateful and sharp.

The law of kindness needs to be in her mouth. And then she's to be taught to be obedient to her husband.

Now right now I'm going to say something that's very politically incorrect. But it is biblically true. Just take your Bible and look at it, verse 4, that they may teach the young women to be sober. To love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good. Obedient.

to their own husbands. You know, there are people who want to take the word obey out of the marriage ceremony.

Sometimes, when I perform a marriage, I look out and when I say to the wife. that she is to say to her husband, that I will be obedient. You look at the head snap. Did he say that? Good night.

Doesn't he realize this is the 21st century? How could he say such a thing? No, she's to be obedient to the husband. That doesn't mean the husband is the dictator. It means that the husband is to give loving leadership.

to the home. We talk about a chain of command. It's not so much a chain of command as it is the acceptance of responsibility. And submission is not subjugation. A husband is not some sort of a top sergeant in the home using the Bible as a club to beat his wife with.

That won't go. A man said, I used to subscribe to the theory of male superiority, but my wife canceled my subscription. The husband is not superior to the wife. I am not superior to Joyce. I say this.

Without equivocation, in many ways she is superior to me. She made better grades than I made in school. As I already told you, she beat me in the Better Speakers Tournament. But She is to be in submission, obedient to her own husband. Paul explains this in another place in Ephesians 5.

Verse 22, wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands. By the way, that word own is the word idios. You know, your idiot husband. Why submit yourselves unto your own husbands? It means special husband, as unto the Lord.

For the husband is the head of the wife.

Now, here's the parallel. Listen to it, don't miss it. Even as Christ is the head of the church, and He is the Savior of the body. A husband is is to be to his wife what Jesus is to the church.

Now, this is not for her punishment, it is for her protection. 1 Corinthians 11 and verse 3. But I would have you to know that the head of every man is Christ. And the head of the woman is the man, and the head of Christ is God.

Now notice this line here. God the Father? God the Son. The man? The woman.

Now, just as God the Son is under God the Father in the Holy Trinity, The woman is under the man in God's scheme of things. It does not mean inferiority. If you know Bible theology, you know that Jesus Christ is co-equal, co-eternal. with God the Father, not inferior. But there is in The Holy Trinity.

This line, I would have you to know that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is the man, and the head of Christ is God.

Now, because God the Father is the head of Christ. The Son, it does not mean that Christ the Son is inferior to God the Father. No woman is inferior to a man. Galatians 3 verse 28, for there's neither Jew nor Greek. There's neither bond nor free.

There's neither male nor female. for ye are all one in Christ Jesus. We're all one in Christ. But still, God has given this line of responsibility in the home. And this needs to be taught.

It's not being taught today. And a woman who rebels against this is going to have trouble. She's going to have trouble first of all with God. And if you have a rebellious spirit toward your husband, your problem is not primarily toward your husband, it's toward God. But not only are you going to have a difficulty with God, you are going to have difficulty with your husband.

Rather than being his completer, you're going to become his crippler. And then you're going to have trouble with your children. Because if you're not under the headship of your husband, you're not going to be able to have authority, spiritual authority, with your children. A woman who cannot learn to be under authority can never be trusted with authority. And then she's going to have trouble with herself.

She's not going to have her deepest needs met. Submission does not remove freedom. When is a train more free? when it's on the train tracks or running through the meadow. When you get on God's Plan.

Begin to obey the word of God, you're going to find out that God will give you incredible liberty. And so in these verses here, how to make a home beautiful, how to adorn the doctrine of God. That which becomes Uh sound doctrine. That which is becoming. A woman is to learn these three things.

There's the legacy that she is to leave. She's to teach the younger women. There's the love she's to learn. She's to learn to love her children and to love her husband. And there's the lifestyle she is to live.

I don't know how we've gotten so far away. To live any other way is to blaspheme the Word of God. Look at the last part of verse 5. The Bible says, do this, that the Word of God be not blasphemed.

Somehow we've gotten a generation that thinks it's smarter than God. But even a casual look around will tell you there's something Very very wrong in today's world. I submit to you. when all else fails. Read the directions.

There it is, the word of John. If you would like to learn more about how you can know Jesus or deepen your relationship with him, simply click the Discover Jesus link on our website, lwf.org. For a copy of this message or additional resources, visit our online store at lwf.org or call 1-800-274-5683. Thank you.