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Momentum - Learning to Experience Authentic Community, Part 2

Living on the Edge / Chip Ingram
The Truth Network Radio
April 29, 2019 6:00 am

Momentum - Learning to Experience Authentic Community, Part 2

Living on the Edge / Chip Ingram

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April 29, 2019 6:00 am

Want to have great relationships? Chip gives you a 3-step process for building the kind of relationships that carry you through the hard times and celebrate life’s best moments with you.

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Would you like to take your relationship to the next level. I mean, deeper, more meaningful, someone that would be with you through the hardest of times someone that you learn the celebrated new levels with wind.

Life is great today on Living on the Edge of Morgan talk about how to build the meaningful friendships that really last today with thanks for joining us for this monthly addition of Living on the Edge Chip Ingram, Living on the Edges and international discipleship ministry during the Bible teaching of Chip Ingram and today Chip finishes his look at authentic community, the lives of Jonathan and David real relationships take time, but the investment is well worth exiting will learn several keys to building the kind of relation last a lifetime.

After the message trip will join us for some practical ways to begin building authentic community to your life today. Now with his talk, learning how to experience authentic community first Samuel chapters 18 through 20 years. Chip, a member is a real intense time in my life schedule and travel on my dad was very very sick and he didn't have much time to live and I had a friend who, because of his business on the plane that he flew to different places and I'll never forget that. He said when your dad gets near the end you call me I don't care where you're at. I'll come pick you up and I'll take it you need to see your dad you had a long up-and-down journey with him. You need to see him before he dies. And I'll never forget getting one of those calls and says if you want to see your dad before he dies. You need to get here as soon as possible.

I mean he's not gonna last problem or another 24 or 48 hours in a member sitting down.

This is really interesting.

Member sitting down thinking what Gary said and then thoughts like I don't put them out mean like how much gas would cost and I mean I know he but I know he but and and I just thought you know he said he wanted to do it. I just can't imagine anybody doing that for me and I just realize you know something I guess I just need to humble myself and receive and I got I just called mama so I was working out downstairs.

I said Gary I just got a call and it took me 10 minutes to work it through and he said get get over the little airport every 30 minutes. I'll have you there in Durham in couple hours and I got in his flying. 30 minutes later and we flew in the middle of the night, and he and his son and he said he dropped me off in front. This is a come back and get Chip. He said will will take care of the hotel you'd rent a car, took care of everything and I had a window of opportunity that all share a little bit later with my dad because someone will talk about a friend is available. Are you available see we got convenient friends, without reference, real friends are available. Next is loyalty don't shrink back when things heat up well the story continues and David replies to him. Okay David thinking this is getting scary thesis tomorrow. We celebrate I'm in the verse five of chapter 20 the Newman Festival. I've always eat with your father on this occasion, but tomorrow I'm get a hide in the field. I'll stay there until the evening of the third day.

If your father asked where I am.

Tell him I've asked permission to go home to Bethlehem for an annual family sacrifice. If he says find the new know all is well, but if he's angry and loses his temper, then you know is planning to kill me. Listen to this. Show me this kindness as my sworn friend, for we made a covenant together before the Lord, or kill me yourself if I've sinned against your father. Please don't betray me to him. Listen to Jonathan never. Jonathan exclaimed, you know that if I had the slightest notion my father was planning to kill you. I would tell you. Well, they figure out a plan to figure out whether it's going to happen or not and if you skip down to verse 16 it says so Jonathan made a covenant with David saying. May the Lord destroy all your enemies. Think of what he saying who's one of his enemies for unilateral blood is thicker than water and through May the Lord destroy all your enemies, and Jonathan made David reaffirm his valid friendship again for Jonathan loved David as much as he loved himself the reason we don't have really great friends, is the price of loyalty is very very high. You don't betray your friend and most all of us are getting the situation.

I've had a handful my life where life heats up and it really heats up and being around you during that time when it heats up a lot of the dirt in the you kit that comes with your life heating up, people don't really want to get around you because it kinda comes off on them. Your reputation a being attacked and in you not like hanging out with you right now as there is not true but you just find a lot of people start not returning your calls can't figure out why because some things are being said about you that aren't true might be in a horrendous relational situation and what might even be you really blew it and you send. I mean big time and keyboard judging you and just telling you, you know what man you blew it. Your latte what God is going to do this and you know you broke your marriage Bauer.

You stole money from that company or you you girlfriends never ever tell you that the sins okay what they tell you is and I gotta tell you, you really did screw up, but I'm carefully how we get through this once again thinking to be getting it right with God. Gotta make a right this people you can make it through this. I'll be here for you that is a friend that's authentic community and everyone goes through hard times, but the temptation is when things really heat up and get really difficult temptations for people to come to back away. I'm gonna play it safe. I have a very good friend with a flat top that is super goofy and I can listen to this, but I don't know that I've ever had a friend is loyal in the most difficult times I've ever had in my life. He is called flowing to my house done whatever it's taken and then I had a season where I was flying all around the world and I was I was worn out in some places are just downright scary and dangerous member looking over my shoulder and I thought let's see it's been five years and flying all over the world. AC at his own expense was on every trip and flew with me just to be there and all but one, and he was on the ramp to go with me and his mother fell, who was 90 something broke her hip in the hospital and he apologetically said I won't be able to go to India with what that's loyalty you that conference you want to become the kind of friend to what those kind of people have lots of people to be different.

David and Jonathan tell us if you're aware intentional honest available, loyal and here you gotta be vulnerable refused to let fear or pride. Limit your relationship were still in chapter 20 skip over all the way down it it gets bad and Saul is not a nice guy and Jonathan David realize that he's can have to run for his life and they figure out that Saul is really gonna try and kill them. And so we pick up the story in verse 41, where they had this little situation were David is hiding in the brush behind a big rock and Jonathan shoots this arrow and the boy runs and have got this code worked out so the boy says I can't find it.

He says oh it's farther keep running. They get the kid out of the way and that's code for, it's not good dads trying to kill you. Let's talk and so he comes out from behind the rock and we get the picture. As soon as the boy was gone. David came out from where he had been hiding near the stone pile.

Then David noticed this he bowed to Jonathan with his face to the ground. Both of them were in tears as they embraced each other and said goodbye. Especially David at last.

Jonathan said to David, go in peace, for we made a pact in the Lord's name. We've entrusted each other in each other's children into the Lord's hands forever.

Then David left and Jonathan returned to the city, they cried, they embraced. They verbalized how much they cared and they allowed their emotions to be expressed.

Now you girls do this a little bit better than us guys I have a the chairman R Vara board Living on the Edge as a pastor and he's, like my, my pastor and he never hangs up the phone and it's not with a trite word. In fact, I was uncomfortable early, but after really gotten on chip yeah I love you man chip. I love you. I'm for you need anything call Italians our phone conversation he verbally expresses his love for me from my background with my dad that still doesn't feel this part of it that feels really good.

As part of the fuels we are okay.

The few people that I've cried with shared with vulnerability is the price tag and the risk vulnerability is basically just taking off a layer appropriately, wisely, with safe people at the right time and in the right way, not with everyone. Not all the time but it's the key to deep authentic community.

And finally we learn to be spiritual. Skip all the way over. If you will a David's running for his life and he spent about a decade dodging spears and hide in caves and living on this promise. God said it was really became God said it was Camille McCabe. I don't feel like a kid I don't feel like you can kiss like man this is crazy and so during one of his down times we pick it up in chapter 23 verse 15 one day near Koresh. David received the news that Saul was on the way to Ziff to search for him and kill him.

Jonathan went to find David and encouraged him to stay strong in his faith to God. He went out to find. Don't be afraid. Jonathan reassured him. My father will never find you, you get to be the king of Israel, and I will be next to you as my father is well aware talk about loyalty. You can have humanly it's my job to be the king next. But God made it clear you're the man and I'm behind you. So the two of them renewed their covenant of friendship before the Lord and in Jonathan returned home while David stayed at Koresh. Don't be afraid to be spiritual. Proverbs 2717 says as iron sharpens iron, so one man or one woman sharpens another. Sometimes we get these relationships were going through stuff and warmer Bible study.

We can talk about God. You know what you need to have times where you have a friend and someone to talk and he said let's pray right now waiting around the end, Burnett was disparate or or you need to say to someone when you know what's going on. By the way, this verse came to my mind and had someone recently just text me a verse by what I'm thinking about you depicted the spiritual your number one: your friendship is to help this person become an R12 Christian every day in every way.

Basically it's help and trust God help him obey his word. Help them to the right thing help them realize is in control, realizes going to come through.

That's the goal of your friendship and by the way. When that's the goal of your friendship. All these other things come together seven essentials, they model of having great deep authentic community. Now you'll notice David and Jonathan's let's let's do it little analysis here was their covenant with God was the basis for their devotion to one another. Here's the real key. It's their covenant with God.

If you have some time you want to get the full story and read this later. Chapter 18 through about chapter 23 of first Samuel, it's a great read, but as you read it over and over and over covenant. The pack the valve. It's there vertical relationship with God. That was the basis of the level of devotion is that the trust was built on. They made about the God they said working to do our relationship, according to God's word were going to it God's way to be loyal to be honest working to be true working to be vulnerable to be committed. You don't have the power to do that in a relationship apart from Christ in you, in fact, Jesus models this in John 15 nine through 13.

The very last very last time is with his disciples on the earth, he says notice notice he starts his relationship with the father as the father has loved me, so I have loved you. Now remain, or abide in my love and then he tells will how do you do that if you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I've obeyed my father's commands and remain in his love. I've told you this notice. Why so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. My command is this love each other as I have loved you to get it, you can't love one another apart from experiencing it with your heavenly father. Our covenant with God will determine the love our devotion with people your walk with God will determine your depth with people just the way it is. People with shallow relationship with God have shallow relationship with people why they don't have the capacity to trust to give to be vulnerable you can be vulnerable if you're secure in Christ you can be honest and face rejection until the last 10%.

If you know God's got you covered. If you don't manipulate politics and play games.

He finally says greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.

The litmus test is commitment and sacrifice for one another.

So how does it work Jonathan and David's relationship reveal that authentic community occurs when the real you meets real needs for the right reason in the right way. The real you. Let love be without hypocrisy right meet real needs be devoted to one another. What in the right way, not serving the Lord, not lacking right fervent in spirit, not lacking in diligence serving the Lord and doing it in the right way, not in your strength, but his. Finally, I just authentic community is the core of Christianity. I originally had in the notes is a core and then I read John 17 and this is the last prayer of Jesus and in the last prayer of Jesus. He sees praying to the father and here's what I want you to see he begins to pray about his before he took on flesh before the incarnation, he begins to pray and talk about the unity in the community and the fellowship of the triune God the Father and the son and the Holy Spirit, and specifically his relationship with the father's community.

God doesn't need us to experience and give love.

He is one essence buddies three persons and so he says what he prays that all of them may be one father just as you are in me and I am in you made.

They also be one. And so that the world may believe that you sent me know from our very human perspective, we can talk about authentic community and deep relationships because loneliness is solved and you will walk with God better and will be happier and it must, it fills our emotional tank in life is just a lot more fun to do it with people and where you're connected and where your love and all that is wonderful for us, but it's not the most important reason. The most important reason is the Gospels credibility and legitimacy. According to Jesus, is based on how well we love one another and the world has every right to say I don't believe that Jesus is God that he came to forgive sins.

If his followers don't love each other the way he love them. Jesus never came to start a religious institution to have buildings built all over the globe. There's nothing wrong with those things. But he said and it's been true of every age and every generation. Forget whether they had buildings are not buildings whether the used stained-glass or electric guitars, but I did it and rose over the hidden caves when people radically sacrificial.

He love and have loved one another with vulnerability and honesty and loyalty and commitment. As unto the Lord literally giving life for one another. The world stepped back and says Gospels true. That's how I came to Christ. I was the most skeptic I had a bad church experience I'd never been exposed to the Bible. I was in a place that after about a week I saw people love each other that I admired and I came to this great apologetic conclusion. I don't know what they have. But I want what they have. I wasn't arguing with the content I would do that later.

But what I realize was the power was the reality of their love for one another.

So let me give you some quick very practical steps, as though we have a good going over if you are ready in terms of going to the next level and authentic community. How can you experience authentic community.

One get connected in a spiritually positive relational atmosphere and I put the two ways. Be aware, be intentional number to go deeper with one or two people in your group in a way that you do that, what be honest. Be available below, but it takes someone to coffee or go afterwards or go earlier catch dinner and just someone that you feel like you got some chemistry with and by the way you get closest to him go and ask a lot of questions and then let them ask you questions. Third, share and pray about a significant struggle or fear in your life with a safe person that this this is the vulnerability and to be spiritually just find one person that you know tested, but you think's gonna be safe and just say you know what, thanks for taking 45 minutes for coffee. Here's the struggle in heaven and I just like to get your thoughts and I will tell you, God will begin to work in very powerful ways.

I want to close with a story that actually Tresa reminded me of the tremendous impact and I alluded to it says the voice on the other end of the phone was serious and solemn you want to see your father before he dies. Need to get here as quickly as possible.

Those the words that I heard is my father 85 is close to death found myself on a plane within the next two hours in a red car with tooth to close friends pulling up the Raleigh Durham hospital North Carolina I learned my father been unconscious for some time because the pain medication he was delirious much of the day. After comforting my stepmother. I entered the room, sat next to his bed, knowing this would be the last time I would get to see in the side of heaven. My dad was a good man but deeply wounded, although you been a Christian since his mid-50s he had a difficult time communicating his feelings are ever verbalizing his love. I knew he cared for me deeply, and that was proud of me, but I long to hear that from his lips. Every boy, no matter what age yearns for the approval of the father and I wanted to have that deep meaningful conversation from the heart with him before he died, was about 8 PM in my dad's wife, Evelyn. He remarried after my mom died was heading home after a long day at the hospital. She gave me a kiss on the cheek and a hug as she walked out, and her eyes were sad. She knew these were my dad's last days then something strange happened. I'd heard and read about in books and doctors tell me it's not highly unusual. My dad awakened and was completely lucid the next hour and 1/2. He was all there and we had the talk. We both desired forces so many years. Dad ask about my wife about each of my kids and their kids.

He asked me how I was feeling about the big transitions in my life and what I was concerned about and what made me happy.

The most we relived a lot of years and some of our best times together from Little League ballgames to some of the most difficult and painful events of our past.

We shared hearts man to man in those last hours. My father clearly and powerfully communicated things that were most important to him.

He held nothing back.

He knew he was going to die. He was ready to die and he wanted to communicate what mattered most. Don't wait until you are ready to die, to begin to share what matters most. With a handful of people. Don't let the busyness. Don't let job demand don't let fear of rejection. Don't let past hurts. Don't let anything keep you from allowing the real you to meet real needs for the right reason, the right way, you will never regret final thought about his teaching, but if you're just joining us, you're listening to living on the Jew with Chip Ingram chips message. Learning how to experience off the community is from his series momentum how to ignite your faith from the base camp of Romans 12 ship leaves this Old Testament track. Exploring the lives of some of the most famous men of the Bible from Abraham and Joseph to Moses and Daniel chip helps us appreciate how these men of faith lived out the practicalities of true spirituality and with continual encouragement. Chip fires the momentum of our own faith journey.

No momentum is one of those series you're going to want to keep handy you listen to from time to time because these lessons from Chip are well worth revisiting for your convenience, you'll find all of the discounted momentum resources on our website for pricing and ordering information. Just go to or were always happy to talk with you when you give us a call at 1-888-333-6003 will chew by know you got a great application for what we heard today, but I know you were to jump in here for just a second. I'll be right back to talk about today's message but before I do I want to give you a picture that I got to witness as a young pastor there was a man there who is a master craftsman. I mean he was a cabinetmaker are Exelon's and a member watching him literally painstakingly with a piece of wood. Use a lathe and little by little by little by little. He did all these things. I couldn't figure out what was happening and then you know all those little moments led to this absolutely beautiful piece of cabinetry or furniture in unison because we think little things don't matter even calling them little things and one of the quote little things. It is the backbone of Living on the Edge are those people who support the ministry monthly. You and I don't know if you are a current supporter or you been praying about being a supporter.

But let me tell you this, when you give monthly.

It provides the bedrock in the consistency in the stability of all that we do here Living on the Edge so I want to thank you monthly partners for all that you do and I like you. If you're not a supporter which you prayerfully today. Ask God do you want me support Living on the Edge you want me to help Christians are like Christians and if so would you like me to do it on a regular monthly basis and by the way thanks in advance whatever God leads you to do. Thanks to all of partnering with Living on the Edge as an idea that makes sense to you. We'd love to have you join us helping Christians live like Christians will change the world we live in, to give a gift today. Just give us a call at 1-888-333-6003, or if you prefer to give online you can donate securely by going to Your generosity is greatly appreciated and your partnership is very encouraging. Without her strip with some final thoughts about today's message as I close today's program I give you three very specific ways to go deeper in your relationships to develop authentic community.

The first one was get connected in a spiritually positive relational environment and so I mean you gotta get tight in some small group somewhere where you not just superficial.

The second is go deeper with one or two people in that group. I mean you can be in a group of seven or eight people and they still don't know much about you. You go deeper with one or two that you feel that are safe, and there's a connection and then third I said share and pray about a significant struggle or fear in your life with a safe person.

If you open up and begin to share hate.

Here's an area that I'm I'm struggling with, and be wise about how much you share. But as you do that, your level of vulnerability will allow the other person to feel safe and do the same. You know, there is this sort of shocking reality of how much of our life and energy is around getting stuff maintaining stuff paying for stuff being busy with stuff and really the thing that really matters is relationships. And I'll just ask you today wherever you're at who's the person that you would miss the most. If they died tomorrow, who's the person that you would have regrets that you didn't spend more time with the you didn't go deeper with you didn't share life in a better and richer way with that let me encourage you. Don't let this day, and without taking one step toward deepening the relationship with that person. Jonathan and David are a great picture of what it means of the richness of authentic community, deep friends, loving one another from the heart is the greatest gift you ever give in us the greatest gift you ever received just before we close. I want to thank those of you who make this broadcast possible through your generous giving Living on the Edge invests those dollars to purchase air time create programs and provide resources to help Christians live like Christians Living on the Edge is been a blessing to you. Would you prayerfully consider sending a gift today. You can donate online at or by calling us at 1-888-333-6003. Thank you for your partnership with us. While I hope you'll join us again tomorrow as Chip continues our current series momentum. For now, this is Dave saying thanks for listening to this Edition of Living on the Edge

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